Relentless - Part 5: Rock Bottom
“Laney! What are you doing?”
Laney heard her boyfriend’s voice, but she couldn’t remember where they were. Were they at home? Where were the dogs? She suddenly felt Steve shaking her.
“Laney, what did you do? You killed our baby…my baby…” Steve shook her harder. “Open your eyes, damn it! Look at me!”
Laney forced her eyes to open. She tried to smile, but her face didn't seem to want to respond to what her brain was telling it to do.
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“…hey, babe…what…time is it?”
Steve shoved her back into the couch. She usually didn’t make it that far after a binge.
“I’m done, Laney. You are on your own. That’s really what you wanted anyway, wasn’t it. You aren’t selfish, you are lost.”
Steve left, slamming the door.
Laney tried to say something, but nothing would come out. She tried to sit up, but she was so hungover she knew that wouldn’t be a good idea.
What was his problem anyway?
“It was my choice…” The words rang out into the empty room sounding like a hollow bell. “Myles? Sophie?”
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“It was my choice…” she muttered as she fell back asleep.
When she woke some time later it was dark. Not merely the darkness of night, but an inky, thick blackness that seemed to suck the breath out of her. Laney felt paralyzed, but she knew it wasn’t the alcohol and drugs, this was the paralysis of fear.
“Was it your choice?” A smooth voice whispered out of the blackness.
Laney forced herself to sit up. She knew her eyes were open, but why couldn’t she see anything. She felt the fear, like a leggy spider crawling up the back of her neck.
“My body! My choice!” She barked out the words like an angry, caged beast.
“My, my, so adamant, so angry, so vulnerable.” The voice taunted her, like a calm, stoic bully.
“Go away! Leave me alone!”
“But where would the fun be in that? My friends and I have been watching you, following you, waiting for you. You may have the King’s seal, but we can still make your life miserable. That’s really what you want anyway, isn’t it? To be miserable?”
Laney thought the voice sounded strangely like Steve’s.
“You are pathetic. You sold those dumb, four legged beasts to support your growing addiction, and then, last week you sold your own fetus.”
The voice began to giggle. The giggle turned into maniacal, stark raving hysteria. That voice was joined by another, and another, and another, until Laney was sure the laughter was coming from inside her head.
Image by Rebecca Martell from Pixabay
She covered her ears and dropped to her knees on the floor her screams becoming the crazed harmony to the unhinged laughter.
“You aren’t real! You’re just some sort of delusion from the alcohol and drugs. Go away!”
The laughing slowed, but it was replaced by whispers that sounded, oddly, like the hissing of a snake. Laney thought she had finally taken too many hallucinogenics, that her brain would no longer be able to tell the difference between the trip and reality. But then the voice started speaking again.
“I’m just a delusion? A monster of your own making? Tell me, Laney, what would the perfect enemy look like? A man with a funny little mustache who commanded armies and almost took over the world? Or how about a man who took his lovers home, then killed and ate them for dinner? No, no, no, my dear girl. I am perfection. You see I have convinced the world that I don’t exist. I can go about my business of manipulating and destroying lives without anyone ever being the wiser. You have talked yourself into believing a lie, and you even have the King’s seal. All of humanity is pathetic…”
Laney heard what the voice was saying, but she couldn’t make sense of it. “Go away!”
“Come now, Laney. The party is just getting started. You know what, I am a rather busy Being, why don’t we just get this over with. Get that bottle of pills that you have hiding in the cereal box in the cupboard. If you take them all, it should be over in just a few hours.”
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Laney gasped. How did he know about the pills? She smirked. Well, of course he would. He was her made up delusion.
“Why not,” she said as she struggled to crawl across the floor towards the kitchen.
“That’s right, Laney. You have nothing left to live for. No dogs, no family. Even your boyfriend, who had bought a ring, left you.”
Laney stopped. “Steve, bought me a ring?”
She felt something begin to twist inside of her. She ignored it and kept moving in the direction of what she thought might be the kitchen. She had to get those pills.
The voice dug in again. “He wanted to marry you. Can you believe he loved you? You made the right choice, you know. You would have never been a good mother.”
“He loved me?”
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“Oh, come on Laney! You know he was only marrying you because of the baby. But, even that you have thrown away…the pills are waiting my dear. They will make all of this go away.”
Laney was frozen in a prostrate position when suddenly a thought whispered through her mind…you are loved with an everlasting love…you are the daughter of the King…you matter.
Laney touched her forehead to the floor. “Forgive me, my King…my Lord…my Savior. Rescue me.”
“Do you really think He’s going to listen to your prayers now? After all the weeks, and months, and years of your rebellion?” The voice was becoming angry.
Laney felt the air begin to move. It started like a soft summer breeze and built into a gale force wind. Her hair was whipping around her face. She was sure she could hear thunder, and the hissing and whispering grew tumultuous. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she couldn’t breath.
I’m going to die, she thought.
“ENOUGH!”
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Immediately the darkness was overtaken by a beautiful light. A light so warm and comforting that it caused Laney to weep. She felt her heart, iced over from so many years of pride and rebellion crack. From within it, began to seep all the darkness that she had allowed to consume her life. She cried and cried. As she remembered all the choices, her choices, she felt something like steel wool begin to scrub away the grime of manipulation and deceit.
Time passed. Her tears ebbing and flowing from her place on the floor, then she heard a different voice. She looked up.
“Laney.”
All around her home stood warriors in shining armor of light. Each one nodded at her, their faces full of compassion and joy. In front of her stood the elderly man from the park and at his feet sat Myles and Sophie. He made the motion and the two pups bolted for Laney smothering her in doggie kisses.
Laney couldn’t speak she was so overwhelmed. Then she noticed the young woman standing next to the man. She was shining, like the warriors in their armor. She came to Laney and knelt down beside her. She touched Laney’s cheek where tears had moistened it.
“Mom, I love you, and you are going to be okay.”