The Secrets We Carry and the Scars We Wear

I am not sure how to start this post, other than to come right out and say, some of us have secrets. They are secrets we never thought we were going to have to keep. Dark secrets. Secrets that should not have to be kept. Secrets that should not have to be carried. You see, sometimes the secrets we carry are stories. Stories of the past. Stories of things that happened. Things we don't talk about, at least not enough. Often, they are not our stories to tell. Sometimes we are witnesses, or maybe we became burden bearers to help another carry the secret that has become a battle scar on their soul. 

Too often, I hear well intended people say, "Let it go." "You'll get over it." "Move on." "It's not your cross to bear." But really, who are you to tell me that? Are you God, that you know which cross is mine and which is not? No, you are not. 

There are battles that are fought, on plains some of you will never know. Please do not categorize my war wound with your paper cut. It is not the same. Yes, we can all say, we have been hurt. We can all probably say we have fought some sort of battle and probably have a scar or two. However, God has set some of us apart. Some of us have lost limbs. Some of us wake up every morning hoping that the nightmare we had wasn't true, but every morning remember that it is. 

God has set some of us apart to bear scars. That is just the way it is. Yes, the wound will heal, but there will always be a scar. That scar is a reminder of so many things. It is a reminder of what could have been, but will never be. It is a reminder that God, who is sovereign and good, does not always withhold what is ugly and bad. It is a reminder of a time when innocence was nailed to a cross and sin won, even if only for a time. People say, "Your scars are beautiful." No, not really. Scars are pretty ugly. Sometimes even after they are completely healed, they throb, a constant reminder that all that was intended to be beautiful became ugly.

We could ask the question, why? Why does God allow some to wear the scars like armor plating and others to have little, if any, scars. 

“6 Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came among them. 7 The Lord said to Satan, “From where do you come?” Then Satan answered the Lord and said, “From roaming about on the earth and walking around on it.” 8 The Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered My servant Job? For there is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, fearing God and turning away from evil.” 9 Then Satan answered the Lord, “Does Job fear God for nothing? 10 Have You not made a hedge about him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. 11 But put forth Your hand now and touch all that he has; he will surely curse You to Your face.” 12 Then the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your power, only do not put forth your hand on him.” So Satan departed from the presence of the Lord.”

— Job 1:6-12 (NASB)

Job was a man who seemed to have everything. He was wealthy. He owned land and animals. He had a wife and family that he found true joy in. But, one day that was all swept away from him by a windstorm of the enemy so strong that it took his wealth and all of his children. His entire family and way of life was decimated. Though he and his wife survived, their pain endured. The thing I find most fascinating is this:

“20 Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped. 21 He said,

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked I shall return there.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

22 Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God.”

— Job 1:20-22 (NASB)

Four things stand out to me in these verses:

Job Worshipped

For real? How did this man, who had just lost everything, worship? When tragedy strikes it is not often our response to praise and worship God. More likely, we shake our fists at Him and ask, why? Why did You let this happen? Why didn't you stop it? You are almighty, why couldn't You have intervened? Why? Why? Why?

He Blessed God

He acknowledged God's sovereignty by admitting that it was God who gave the abundance and God who could and did take it away. He then says, "Blessed be the name of the Lord."

He Did Not Sin

There are many ways, Job could have sinned. In the very next chapter we see that the enemy again is allowed to strike Job, this time against his physical body with sores and boils. I think his wife had had enough by this point:

“9 Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!” 10 But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.”

— Job 2:9-10 (NASB)

Cursing God, would certainly be on the top of the sin list. But Job didn't do that.

He Did not Blame God

Knowing that God is sovereign and that sovereignty by its very definition means that He controls all things, or He at least allows or disallows, as we saw in the the first portion of Job. He allowed Satan to afflict Job, first by taking his wealth and family and then by taking his health. In a sense, didn't Job have a right to blame God? If God is indeed the filter through which all things, both good and bad come into our lives, don't we have a right to shake our fist at Him and ascribe blame?

You might think I am bordering on blasphemy, but I am trying to make a point. It is easy to go down a path of anger and bitterness when bad things happen. It becomes even more difficult to carry these burdens, seemingly alone, when we cannot share a particular tragedy with others. There are a few important points to remember when faced with personal tragedy.

1. Look at the Whole of Scripture for Answers.

Taking one scripture, chapter or book and focusing on it alone, is not always the best idea. If people only read the Old Testament they would think of God as an overbearing being, who played with people's lives however He willed. The New Testament must also be considered to have a better understanding of who God is and how much He really does love us. 

“28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

— Romans 8:28 (NASB)

This verse is just as true as the verses above that tell us this same God let Satan beat up one of His most faithful servants. This same God who allows or disallows the scars and the secrets we have to carry is the God who works all these things for good. This same God who allows or disallows the tragedies also calls us and gives us a purpose. This leads me to the next point.

2. Sometimes the Scars are the Purpose.

None of us want to have scars. No one wants to have to carry dark, painful secrets, but often these burdens are placed on us to allow us the opportunity to grow more dependent on Him. There is nothing more important to God than His relationship with us. However, He is also a holy God and that holiness is extremely important to Him. He demands it of us, but the beauty of this omniscient, omnipotent being is that He gives us the ability to be holy through the blood of Jesus. This connection we have with His holiness enables us to bear the scars and carry the secrets.

Our scars and the burden of carrying secrets can make us more sensitive to the difficulties and heartbreak that other people are going through. God uses our scars to help others who are wounded and broken. 

3. Place Your Complete Trust in Him.

“5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
8 It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones.”

— Proverbs 3:5-8 (NASB)

A God who is trusted is also a God who heals. Yes, the scars will always be there, until we stand before His throne, but it is then that we will see how He used those scars to work out His good will in our lives and in the lives of those around us. 

If you are carrying secrets that seem to heavy to bear, don't lean on your own understanding. Lean on Him. He will help you carry them. 

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”

— Matthew 11:28 (NASB)

Seasons Come and Seasons Go

We go through seasons in life, just like the earth goes through seasons as it travels around the sun. Spring, summer, fall and winter, all have their presence on the earth, even though they can look quite different depending on where you live. I follow a few fashion bloggers who are based in Australia and it is winter there. It seems odd to see them talk about enjoying their sweaters and heavier weight outfits, even though their pictures still show sunshine and no snow!

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Seasons in our lives can manifest themselves differently for each person. When you are a young adult, you might be going to college, checking out the party scene and figuring out what you want to do with your life. I wasn't a partier. I was studious, but I also liked to go out to eat with my friends and walk the streets of Chicago down to Lake Short Boulevard and the beach or State Street and the Gold Coast. That season of my life, helped shape who I am. I met my husband during that season and discovered I was more interested in getting married than in becoming a missionary overseas.

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“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—
2 A time to give birth and a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
5 A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
6 A time to search and a time to give up as lost;
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;
A time to be silent and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate;
A time for war and a time for peace.”

— Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NASB)

After college, my husband and I got married and it wasn't long until we started a family. I wish when I had been in the throes of that season of life, I would have had an older woman come along side of me and tell me, "This is just a season. Before you know it, in the blink of an eye, your children will be grown and gone. Enjoy it while you can." So often when we are in a particular season of life, we think, "When will this be over? When will it get easier?" The problem with that mind set is that we miss so much. 

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The writer of Ecclesiastes was Solomon, considered the wisest king of all time. I think he pretty much summed up the complexity and simplicity of life in those first eight verses of chapter 3. He knew that every season would come to an end and be replaced by another season, which would then be replaced by another season, and so on, and so on.

What season of life do you find yourself in right now? Is is a time of planting or a time of uprooting? Is it a time of laughter or a time of weeping? Or is is a time of being silent or a time of speaking boldly? The inevitability is, the season you now find yourself in will change. How do we handle the seasons we are in and the busyness and difficulties that come with each of those. 

1. Recognize that it is God who changes the seasons.

“Then God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night, and let them be for signs and for seasons and for days and years;”

— Genesis 1:14 (NASB)

God, the Creator, is the One who designed the seasons to change. We often think that fall and winter must be a result of the fall, but it says in the above verse that God's intention from the beginning was an earth that changed on a regular basis. So many of us don't like change, but change is a part of God's plan. 

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2. Don't be afraid of the changing seasons.

There is plenty to fear in the world we live in. Watch the news on a regular basis and you'll get a boat load of fodder for an anxiety storm. 

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

— 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

I grew up reading the King James Version of the Bible. I decided to use the New King James Version as it is the one most true to the version I memorized. Many versions use the word timidity instead of fear. I am not a Bible scholar so I am not here to argue which version is closer to a word for word translation. I prefer the word fear, because I feel it is closest to what we feel on a regular basis. 

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I am preaching to the choir here, friends. I regularly have to combat my fears. I don't think that fear is wrong, but I do believe that dwelling there or as Timothy put it, having a "...spirit of fear..." is not what God wants for us. I am sure the numbers of people in our country who are taking anti-anxiety meds is staggering. Yet, what is anxiety but a fear - fear of failure, fear of being alone, fear of death, fear of illness, fear of any and everything you can imagine. 

It is normal to face fear, when the seasons of our lives are changing. It is scary to face an illness like cancer or the death of a spouse or child. It is terrifying to lose your long time job and have to suddenly be out there looking for a new position in a sea of people in their 20's. Yet, God knows these seasons are changing and as the Psalmist realized, we are precious to Him. 

“Keep me as the apple of the eye;
Hide me in the shadow of Your wings”

— Psalm 17:8 (NASB)

3. Look for beauty in each season.

Every season that comes and goes has something about it that I love. Spring ushers in new growth, returning birds and an explosion of green. Summer abounds with laughing, playing children, a chorus of lawn mowers and the clinking sounds of glasses filled with iced tea and lemonade. Fall, which is perhaps my favorite, throws an amazing party of color and smells during which the trees undress themselves as they prepare for winters' long sleep. Winter, in areas of snow becomes a white backdrop for red sleds and even redder noses and cheeks. 

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Yes, every season has its difficulties. Spring can be full of torrential rains and often the temps don't climb as high as we would like. Summer can be a time of drought and the ebb and flow of crowds vacationing and squeezing in to fairs and summer festivals. Fall brings early darkness and winter seems akin to the time of the dead, especially for those of us with Seasonal Affective Disorder.

However, just as any transition in life brings change we need to focus on all that is lovely and beautiful, even in the sterility of a hospital room or the stifling sadness of a funeral home. Where else in the world can we get 24 hour quality care? The sadness of loss also brings with it the memories of lives journeyed together and moments of love and laughter. A diagnosis of long term illness allows us the opportunity to stand before our Creator and claim the promises He gave us in His word, that He would never leave us or forsake us and that He would give us peace and strength. 

Beauty exists in the form of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and He never changes, no matter what season we are in.

4. Have patience.

Remember what Solomon pointed out in those verses? The seasons change. Our lives are in constant flux. Knowing that God is orchestrating our circumstances allows us to lean back on His strong arms and wait for Him to do what He is going to do. The sooner we realize the reality of this next  two verses, the better. 

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

— Romans 8:28 (NASB)

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

— Philippians 1:6 (NASB)

God is at work and will never give up on us! Isn't that amazing? It drives me to my knees to realize that the Almighty God who created us from dust, loves that same said dust to the point of sacrificing His only Son, Jesus, so we might be able to have a relationship with Him.

I don't know what season you are in. I hope it is a season of reaping and praising and planting, but if it is a season of tearing apart, war and great weeping, don't forget He is with you. Always and forever. 

Lessons Learned from Ernest Saves Christmas

I don't know how many of you are familiar with Jim Varney, As a young person he became interested in the theater. By age 17 he was performing professionally in night clubs and coffee houses. He played Jed Clampett in the 1993 movie version of the Beverly Hillbillies and is also known as the voice of Slinky Dog in Toy Story 1 and Toy Story 2. However, the persona that ushered Jim into fame was Ernest P. Worrell, a bumbling, annoying, but lovable character that began to show up in adds for everything from grocery and appliance stores to Disney itself. The first appearance of the character of Ernest on the big screen was in 1987 with Ernest Goes to Camp.

In Ernest Saves Christmas, we find Ernest working as a Christmas loving taxi driver. Little does he know, one of his passengers turns out to be Santa himself. Santa, played by British classical actor, Douglas Seale, is searching for a replacement. He has done the job, one he loved, for too long, and knows it is time to pass on the magic. His choice, Joe Caruthers,  a mild mannered actor who does a children's television show, The show being canceled, leads Santa to believe that this is the perfect time for Joe to take over. However, passing the torch is not going to be easy for Santa to do.

There are many funny scenes in this movie and it is hard to really find a scene that speaks specifically to the lessons I want to talk about, therefore I will give you the lessons I learned in a list, then leave you with a few of my best loved scenes. 

Lesson 1 - Stay True to Your Gifts

Joe Caruthers loves children. He likes to teach them and you can tell he is more comfortable around kids than most of the adults in the movie. When his children's show gets canceled, he knows he has to find work elsewhere. His agent, Marty, finds a producer who is willing to give Joe a tryout for a movie. Unbeknownst to Joe, the movie turns out to be a horror flick. When he is told to swear in front of two children to show his emotion, Joe says he can't do it. 

Eventually, after turning down Santa's proposal, Joe realizes that this elderly gentleman is Santa and that the job proposal was real. Joe is overjoyed, for he knows he has found his true calling. 

What are you passionate about? What do you like to do? God has given each of us abilities and yes, spiritual gifts that when used for His purposes will uplift and encourage ourselves and the body. I love to write. Other than being a grandma or a shopper, I would rather spend my days reading a good book or trying to write one. 

I will confess, I have been struggling with the idea of becoming a writer, wondering if that is a realistic goal. After all there are so many good writers already out there, telling captivating and inspiring stories. How could I possibly make a difference? But after watching this movie last night and today thinking about the lessons I can pull from it, I have realized I must stay true to the gifting that God has given me. I don't know if I will ever publish a novel, but I will keep trying to tell stories. 

“Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men,”

— Colossians 3:23 (NASB)

Lesson 2 - Don't Give Up Hope

After Joe refuses Santa, saying he is going to do the movie, and a teenage runaway, steals Santa's magic sack, the elderly gentlemen is ready to give up hope. It is easy to feel hopeless when things are not going well. Life can get overwhelming, especially when there is illness, job loss or difficulties in family relations. As I've mentioned before on the blog, hope can be rather elusive. (You can see that post here.) But in the end, isn't God the Father, our Lord Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit the ones from which true, solid hope flows?

Santa felt that all hope was lost, but in the end, Joe accepts the job and becomes Santa, the runaway returns the magic sack and decides to go home and Ernest delivers the sleigh so the new Santa can get the toys delivered to children all over the world. Hope wins. 

Never give up hope. 

“Be strong and let your heart take courage, All you who hope in the Lord.”

— Psalm 31:24 (NASB)

Lesson 3 - Be Genuine

This is a bit similar to the first idea of staying true to your gifts, but this is more about how you present yourself to the rest of the world. The teenage runaway in this movie left home after her parents went through some rough times in their marriage. She felt abandoned by them at a critical time in her own development. Pamela or Harmony Star, as she wants to be called, puts on a facade of confidence and bravado, even though inside she is struggling to grow up and deal with her parents' situation. 

Harmony hooks up with Ernest and Santa when she jumps into the taxi Ernest is driving to get away from the restaurant owner she hasn't paid. She hangs out with the for a while, not believing Santa is real, until she finds out about the magic sack. After that she looks for the best opportunity to steal the bag and get away. 

We all have times in our lives where we put on a face. I don't mean putting on make up, I'm talking about that happy face we wear, when inside we feel like dying or feel like we are invisible. Christian recording artist Mandisa has a great song that addresses this very issue. 

God doesn't want us to live fake lives. The best way to help each other is to be real. Obviously, it is good to do that with an attitude of love and tact, but if we all tried to convey the truth about who we are and who God made us, I think, like Harmony, we would realize we could give the "sack" of all our troubles and issues, back to God. 

“Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.”

— Galatians 6:2 (NASB)

I hope you learned something along with me from Ernest Saves Christmas. If you have the time, this is a great movie to watch with the family and will provide clean, kid-friendly fun. Enjoy a few of my favorite scenes in fond memory of Jim Varney, who passed away at age 50.

This next few show a number of Ernest's many personalities!

Merry Christmas everyone!