Lessons Learned from Miracle on 34th Street

December 08, 2017 by Amy Christensen in A Christmas lesson, Christian belief, Christian blogger, Christian faith, Christian faith blog, Christian life, Christmas, Church, Faith blogger, Faith, Growing in Our faith, Lessons learned, Magic of Christmas, Trust, Trusting God, Belief, I Believe, Santa Claus, Miracle on 34th Street

Last year I did a series on lessons that I learned from a few of my favorite Christmas movies. You can see those by clicking on the title of the posts below:

A Christmas Lesson Learned from Charlie Brown Christmas Lessons Learned from the Grinch "Come in, --- come in! and know me better, man! It's a Wonderful Life...or is it?

I thought it would be fun to look at a few other movies that I enjoy watching at this time of year and talk about what I have learned from them.

If you have seen Miracle on 34th Street, either the 1947 version with Maureen O'Hara and Edmund Gwenn as Kris Kringle or the 1994 version with Elizabeth Perkins and Richard Attenborough, you know the basic premise of the movie deals with belief. An elderly man claims to be Kris Kringle, not a man with the same name, but the genuine article. A woman, Mrs. Walker, must be convinced that there is more to Mr. Kringle than just a nice old man.

"....if you can't believe, if you can't accept anything on faith, then you are doomed for a life dominated by doubt."

That line, spoken by Mr. Kringle in the video clip above is very powerful and may well sum up what is wrong with our world as a whole. How often, are we as Christians guilty of doubting the truths that God has given us? Do we really believe He is the good shepherd? Do we really have faith that He came to save the lost? Or are our lives dominated by doubt?

We all live lives of faith. We have faith or believe the sun will rise tomorrow, when I flip a switch the light will come on and the bank I use is taking good care of my money. Whether people want to admit it or not, most of life is a walk of faith. Unfortunately, we often place our faith in people or things that don't deliver.

When my children were small, I wanted them to know the truth about Christmas, so I told them about Jesus. However, I also told them that Santa, as a man in a sleigh with flying reindeer wan't real. I chose to teach them about Saint Nicolas, the source of the legend of Santa Claus. My motivation was well intended, but I wonder that I did damage to their ability to believe in things that were simply meant to be magical and fun.

The beauty of putting your faith in Jesus Christ is that everything else falls into its proper place. If I would have had more faith in Him as I raised my children, I think I would have had more fun with them, rather than being obsessed that they come to know Jesus and live for Him. I think we as parents often forget that our children are watching us and the best way to show them Jesus is to live a life in the Spirit out loud. Of course, we all want our children to follow Jesus, but we must have faith in Him, and in His ability to bring it about in His timing. Hard, I know!

In this movie when Kris Kringle is sent to jail for being a menace and mentally unstable it is up to Mrs. Walker, her daughter and a lawyer friend to get him out. The case goes to trial and arguments ensue to try to prove that Santa Claus exists and Mr. Kringle is him. In the more modern version, perhaps my favorite scene takes place when Judge Henry Harper has a most helpful revelation.

I love that Judge Harper is so satisfied with himself at the end of his speech, undoubtedly because he was able to get out of a very sticky situation. Ha, ha.

Isn't it true? We, the people of the United States of America put our trust as a collective whole in a being we do not see. Perhaps, we need to revisit why the statement, "In God We Trust" was originally put on our currency.

I have often thought that the church has gotten too far away from the basic tenants of our faith. We don't talk about things like the virgin birth of Christ, the problem of sin or the outcome of that sin. We have a tendency to dance around the issue. The issue is, we need Jesus. Jesus is the reason we celebrate Christmas. We need to get back to that.

One of the best things we can do as we walk out our journey on this planet is to be teachable. God is always bringing new lessons to be learned and drawing us deeper into His amazing layers. Sometimes He even uses movies to teach us things we need to know.

Do you like this movie? Have you learned anything from watching a Christmas movie? I hope you'll share your ideas in the comments section. I'd love to learn something from you.

It's Already November! What??

November 01, 2017 by Amy Christensen in Christian faith blog, Christian faith, Christian life, Christmas, Faith, Faith blogger, give thanks, Thankfulness, Thanksgiving, Offerings, Thanksgiving offering

Can you believe it is already November 1st? Or are you like me, still gasping, trying to catch your breath and function through the sugar induced headache of post-Halloween fun? I knew it was coming. Winter always comes, as does Thanksgiving and Christmas. Let's get real here, the holidays do start today, the day after Halloween. Is it any wonder that most stores have Christmas trees, decorated to the hilt, already stunningly displayed before the Snickers bars are even marked half off?

Since we are only a few weeks out from Thanksgiving, I want to revisit the command Paul gives to us in I Thessalonians 5:18.

“in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

— I Thessalonians 5:18 (NASB)

My plan is to spend a few weeks looking at this idea of gratitude. Next week I will finish up my Mulling It Over series on the Armor of God, but this week and the two Wednesdays before Thanksgiving I will be concentrating on thankfulness.

Last year I talked about this subject in two different blog posts. Three Little Commands - Give Thanks, and It is Good to Give Thanks both touch on the importance of giving thanks. You can read those posts by clicking on the titles. It might seem a bit repetitive to spend more time on this topic, but as with so many things in my Christian walk, it is good be reminded. I know many things about the Christian life, but I don't consistently live all of those. In addition, the Holy Spirit is more than capable of teaching me new things, as I pointed out a few weeks ago in the post, Even He Called Him Lord.

Today, I would like to lay a foundation for the act of thanksgiving. The first mention of what looked like thanksgiving in the Bible is found in Genesis 4.

“So it came about in the course of time that Cain brought an offering to the Lord of the fruit of the ground. Abel, on his part also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and for his offering; but for Cain and for his offering He had no regard. So Cain became very angry and his countenance fell.”

— Genesis 4:3-5 (NASB)

I do not know if this was a thanksgiving offering, but it is clear that God had already established a system of offerings to honor and worship Him. This was some years after Adam and Eve were driven from the Garden of Eden for their choice to sin against God. The fact that both their sons brought an offering to the Lord, shows that they had been taught that this was something important that needed to be done. The word thanksgiving does not show up until years later in Leviticus 7:11-12 where Moses is directed to write about the law of sacrifice of peace offerings.

The whole system of sacrifice was instituted by God after Adam and Eve sinned. It says,

“The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife, and clothed them.”

— Genesis 3:21 (NASB)

While we are not told that God sacrificed animals to make those clothes, it can be safely assumed that He didn't get them at the local Walmart. It would seem to make sense that the first blood letting was done by God Himself in a gesture, both of compassion and instruction, for those children He had created. He already had the plan in place for Jesus, His Son, to be the ultimate sacrifice for our redemption.

By the time Moses becomes the chosen leader of the nation called Israel, God's plan included teaching His people all about sacrifice. The entirety of the book of Leviticus spells out the different offerings, laws and acceptable sacrifices for a variety of life situations.

“‘Now this is the law of the sacrifice of peace offerings which shall be presented to the Lord. If he offers it by way of thanksgiving, then along with the sacrifice of thanksgiving he shall offer unleavened cakes mixed with oil, and unleavened wafers spread with oil, and cakes of well stirred fine flour mixed with oil.’”

— Leviticus 7:11-12 (NASB)

As you can see, the laws of offering and sacrifice were very specific.

You might be wondering why I am spending so much time on this idea of sacrifice, but the act of thanksgiving is an act of sacrifice. While we no longer require all the offerings of sheep and cows, or bread and oil, thanksgiving requires a giving up of our worries and cares, bringing them to the altar and letting God burn them away, so that all that is left is purest worship and adoration of the Creator.

As we head into the holiday season I hope you will journey with me along this thanksgiving road. It will be the perfect lead in, to the season of Advent.

Stay tuned for more!

Our Great and Mighty Purpose

October 25, 2017 by Amy Christensen in Apostle Paul, Being in Christ, Bending to God's will, Christ-like, Christian faith, Christian faith blog, Christian life, Faith, Faith blogger, Growing in Our faith, Growth in God, You are valuable, Our purpose, Having a purpose, Feeling invisible

Do you ever struggle with your purpose? Do you ever feel as though the things you do are meaningless? Do you ever feel invisible? I do! I have struggled most of my life with feeling less than whole. I have too often been swayed by other's opinions of how I look, how I act or react and what my value is. Being a Christian does not eliminate the struggles, but it does put them in their proper perspective.

You see, we are all sinners. We all fall short.

“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

— Romans 3:23 (NASB)

However, the blood of Christ made it possible that I can now have a relationship with God and with His Son. What does that mean for my purpose? It makes all the difference.

“A Christian worker has to learn how to be God’s man or woman of great worth and excellence in the midst of a multitude of meager and worthless things.”

— Oswald Chambers - My Utmost for His Highest - October 25th

Life is full of worthless and meager tasks. Cleaning toilets, doing laundry and mopping the kitchen floor all too often seem worthless. You know the cycle. Just when you get those dishes washed, another stack of bowls and spoons appear. Both our daughters are out of the house, so I am not quite sure how we use so many spoons. Ha, ha. Don't forget laundry. When the girls were growing up I made up a creature called the laundry monster and had a song that I sang when I saw him rearing his ugly head, Now that they are out of the house he is not as prominent, but those loads add up. And the cycle continues over and over and over.

If you have a job outside the home, it too can become seemingly worthless and meager. If you work retail like I do, the hours can be long, when the days are slow and the customers can be less than thankful when the days are busy. And the cycle continues over and over and over.

So how do we become those men and women of great worth and excellence as Oswald says? I think there are a few things we need to consider to realize our great and mighty purpose.

1. We are all human. There are very few of us who don't have to do dishes, laundry, take care of kids or aging family, meet the needs of a significant other or do some sort of work that wouldn't necessarily be considered fun. Obviously, there are wealthy people who can hire others to do many of those meager tasks, but they still have to bathe and groom themselves or at least wipe their own behinds when they go to the bathroom; a task that is not worth a lot, but we all do it or the world would be a pretty stinky place.

2. We all start out ordinary. No one starts out as a movie star or the president of a company or a football player who gets paid millions whether he stands, sits or kneels.

“All God’s people are ordinary people who have been made extraordinary by the purpose He has given them. ”

— Oswald Chambers - My Utmost for His Highest - October 25th

I love this thought, because not only does it put us all on the same playing field, but it also reminds me that God is in control. If you are a mom, God put you there. If you are a corporate VP, God put you there. If you are a missionary to a foreign country, God put you there. We must come to grips with this idea that God allows the good, the bad and the mundane.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

— Roman's 8:28 (NASB)

3. God is always at work. God's purpose in our lives is to make us into the image of Christ. He desires that we draw closer and closer to Him. What better way to do that than to put us in circumstances that move us closer to being what He wants us to be.

“It is not that you have gotten God, but that He has gotten you. God is at work bending, breaking, molding, and doing exactly as He chooses. And why is He doing it? He is doing it for only one purpose - that He may be able to say, ‘This is My man, and this is My woman.’””

— Oswald Chambers - My Utmost for His Highest - 0ctober 25th

4. Our great and mighty purpose is to glorify Him. Paul knew this was the case when he was transformed from a hater and persecutor of Christians to being one of the greatest evangelists that ever lived.

“ ...I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some. I do all things for the sake of the gospel, so that I may become a fellow partaker of it.”

— I Corinthians 9:22-23 (NASB)

It doesn't matter where you are or what you do, your purpose is to glorify Him. How do we glorify God? We glorify Him when our actions, words and attitudes reflect the humility and love of Christ.

“Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion,
2 make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.
3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;
4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,
6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.
8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
9 For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name,
10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

— Philippians 2:1-11 (NASB)

Wash that load of a laundry with a song in your heart. Change that baby's diaper with thanksgiving. Deal with that cantankerous customer with kindness. Write, walk, work, love, play to the glory of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

This is our great and mighty purpose.

What I am Thankful for Today

September 01, 2017 by Amy Christensen in Thankfulness, Thankful, Surviving difficulties, Suffering, Sunshine, Clean drinking water, Faith, Things I thank God for

I am not trying to sound trite or simplistic, but there really is something to the idea of being grateful. I have brought this up before in many of my other faith posts, but as I sit here this evening, I started doing some thinking on what to write about for this week's Faith page. With so much tragedy and difficulty happening all around us, I felt the need for setting my eyes on someone and something much higher than I.

We all know the tragedy that is going on in Texas right now. The devastation is real and visceral. I cannot begin to feel the loss that so many are experiencing. Unfortunately, the difficulties of others often do make us more thankful for what we have and the comforts that we so easily forget and take advantage of. So for today's post, I just want to give you a list of things I am thankful for.

1. The sun. I am sure many of our comrades down south can't wait for the rain to stop and the sun to shine. We never really appreciate this giant flaming orb that God placed in the center of our solar system, until we haven't see it for a while. Being a sufferer of seasonal affective disorder, I thank God everyday that the sun is shining. Sometimes I will stick my face in a sunny spot and just soak it in for a few seconds, channeling my inner kitty.

2. A hot shower. There is something about clean, hot water that just seems to wake up the senses and get us going in the morning.

3. Trees. This is one thing that I love about living in a city filled with trees. Just recently my husband and I took a walk at one of our many area Metroparks and I was entranced by the beauty of so many variations on trees; tall and lanky, short and stubby, pines, oaks, maples, and our own Ohio Buckeye. Trees provide shade, wood, food and shelter for animals and humans and most importantly oxygen. Our world wouldn't be much of a world without trees.

4. A bed to sleep in. I don't always wake up well rested, but then I think of how much more difficult life would be without a place to sleep. Even now, I think of so many Texan's that are displaced due to the flooding from Hurricane Harvey. They will be fortunate if they get a cot or a mat on the floor at an area community center or school, let alone will they have their own pillow, blankets or space. What a blessing, even when it is old and lumpy, to have a bed to sleep in.

5. Clean drinking water. I don't have to even think about what comes out of my faucet when i turn it on. I know it is treated water and won't be filled with little critters that will make me sick. If our city water takes a turn for the worse, I know I can go to the store and get clean bottled water for just a few dollars. There are many areas of the world where clean water is an unknown.

6. Basic human rights. We get off in a lot of directions in the country, but the fact of the matter is we have many rights that other countries do not have. We can come and go as we please. We can wear what we want, eat what we like and hang out with whomever we choose. We can speak our mind and not worry about being thrown in jail or worse. We can shop, go the movies and church, for the most part, without fear. When we are sick we can go to the doctor and we will be taken care of.

7. Food. I don't know about you, but I love food and I love variety. We have so much food and so much variety that we should never get bored with our eating choices. We also have the blessing of most of our food being clean and properly prepared. Granted things happen...out breaks of salmonella, and other bacteria do happen, but for the most part our food is managed carefully.

8. Books. Maybe you don't like books or like to read, in which case you are probably not reading this, but I love books and I am so thankful for the knowledge they bring us and the worlds they transport us to. Books have had such an important impact on my life, so I will always be thankful for them.

9. Health. Often when we are young we don't think about our health and just live life to the fullest. As we get older, we start to realize some of our choices have or will affect our health. I am thankful for what I have today, because tomorrow things might be different. My husband and I have started walking every day, (as often as we can). It has helped to relieve stress, gives us time together and gets our hearts pumping.

10. Faith. For me, my faith in Jesus Christ is the most important element of my life. It affects everything I do. Unfortunately, I am not always the best example. I make poor choices, get emotional, worry and forget that I am His, more often than I would like to admit, but faith is what gives my life focus and purpose.

These are just a few of the things I am thankful for today! What are you thankful for? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Have a great weekend!

Wait! I Didn't Want that to Happen!

May 23, 2017 by Amy Christensen in Anxiety, Christian belief, Disappointment, Doubts, Faith, give thanks, God is with us, Letting go, Thankfulness, Travel troubles

What do you do when you are very disappointed? Do you blame God? Do you complain and become discouraged and frustrated? Let's face it, life delivers plenty of disappointments. Relationships fail, those things that we wanted for so long break and get thrown away and we even experience disappointment in ourselves due to our failures and lost hopes. Sometimes life leads us down a path that looks appealing, other times, it leads us to a place we don't want to go.

path in the woods - Akron Falls Park, Akron, NY

My husband and I left Thursday evening to begin a ten day journey out east. We were going to spend two nights with my mom near Buffalo, NY and then point our car towards Maine, a state neither of us had been, but both of us were looking forward to exploring. I had already made reservations at hotels and Home Away type accommodations and was anticipating new digs to stay in, new scenery to take pictures of, new places to walk with our new hiking boots and new restaurants featuring local fair like lobster and other seafood delicacies. Little did I know my hope and anticipations were about to be dashed to pieces.

While we were at my mom's we took her to a nearby park for a walk. At ninety plus she is getting a little unsteady, but she is able to still walk with a helping arm. Here are some pictures from our walk.

Saturday morning we left my mom's house at 8:30 AM and hoped to put the hours and miles behind us as we headed towards Portland, ME. We had only just gotten onto the interstate when the pain that had been plaguing me in my lower abdomen on and off for the last four days suddenly torqued up the intensity. We stopped at the next rest area so I could use the restroom. I seriously thought I was having some sort of digestive anomaly. Two years ago I had been diagnosed with diverticulosis, but had never actually had an issue with diverticulitis.

By the time I began walking out of the rest area, my husband knew something was wrong. He could see it in the way I walked and by the look on my face. He asked the nearest rest area employee where the closest urgent care would be and we were directed to the hospital at the next exit.

By the time I was finally checked into the ER and was actually given pain medication at least two hours had passed. After a CT scan I was diagnosed with having a kidney stone. I have never had kidney stones before. I was told I would have to stay in the hospital over night to see if the stone would pass and they put me on a regimen of pain meds, antibiotics and drugs to widen out the ureters to help the stone pass.

After a mostly sleepless night at the hospital with my faithful husband in a very uncomfortable recliner by my bed we decided this would not be the year we would go on our adventure to Maine. I write this post at a Barnes and Noble as we travel back to our home in the Mid West after spending another night with my mom. I would have been ruthless to not let my mom see me and know I was okay after all that had happened. It proved most beneficial to have a good nights rest and some food that I could actually eat. I feel much better today!

With our car still full of bags and treats and hiking boots as well as five new prescriptions, we began our trip home feeling rather glum and disappointed that things had not worked out as we had hoped. Now I go back to my original question: How do you deal with disappointment? In all honesty I only know of one way.

Thankfulness!

Yes! You heard me! Thankfulness.

Here is my list:

1. My husband was with me through all of it. He did not waver. He did not get upset. He was just genuinely glad that I just had a kidney stone (he's had one of his own) and not having surgery for a colostomy or finding out I had cancer.

2. The hospital staff was great. Every nurse was kind, informative and professional. They answered our questions, let us know what they were going to do with clarity and a smile and always asked if we needed anything. Even the aides who had to empty out my little pee pot to check for stones were friendly and helpful.

3. We were right near a hospital. I didn't have to drive for several hours to get to a competent place of care. In fact the hospital is in the same city where my brother works. He even stopped by to check on me while I was in the ER.

4. I only had to spend one night! Hooray.

5. By this morning, I was no longer in any pain, and no longer felt like I wanted to hurl every time I thought of food.

6. Our drive home has been relaxing and enjoyable.

These are only a few of the thing that I can thank God for during this disappointing time. Disappointments, as I have talked about before, can push us away from God, or draw us closer. I would definitely choose to draw closer every time.

“in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

— I Thessalonians 5:18

A Father's Perspective

May 01, 2017 by Amy Christensen in A father's perspective, Creative fiction, Doubts, Evil, Faith, Thoughts of a king

When the enemy took my granddaughter I knew it was a well thought plan. This vile one, knows how to plan. He is always plotting, and scheming. He knew by taking her, it would unleash a chain of events in my kingdom that would shake it to its very core. My daughter had been there. She had seen him take her child. Her first instinct was to chase after him and his vicious horde. Of course I could not let her go. She was too valuable to me, to all of us.

My decision to leave my granddaughter to the vile whims of the enemy was not met without disagreement. My closest advisors looked at me as though I had gone insane when I said to let him go and to retrieve my daughter. They didn't know the torment that was going on inside of me. My heart was tearing into a million little pieces and yet I knew there was a greater plan, a greater purpose. One that had to play out before we could rescue my dear one.

My daughter struggled when they went to retrieve her, but eventually my warriors subdued her and she was taken back to the castle. I knew she was strong, but this was the biggest test she had ever undergone. She needed to rest. She needed to heal.

The first week was torture. I could not eat, for knowing the decision I had made had put my own kin at the mercy of the enemy. In addition, my daughter would not talk to me. During the daylight hours she would sit in a chair on the balcony of her room, with nothing on but her dressing gown. Her lady's maid would put a blanket around her shoulders to try to keep her warm, but she continued to sit, staring out in the direction of the battle where her child was taken.

Eventually, she fell ill. Her body could not cope with the trauma and her mind had shut down. She lay in bed at night, her mind clouded by the touch of evil the enemy had forced on her. I would sit next to her every night, praying. I knew that the One was the only one who could bring light to this darkness. She would thrash and cry out as the fever raged. Our attendants did their best to get water down her throat and cool her fever, but we all knew there was only One who could heal this sickness.

One night, her fever was so high I did not even have to touch her to know I was dangerously close to losing her. I laid myself out on the floor next to her bed. I wept and raged at the One. I argued that He could have prevented all of this. He could have kept my grand daughter from the enemy's claws and in turn He could have kept my daughter from the edge of the dismal abyss on which she now teetered. But, He hadn't.

That night, I suddenly realized I was not only close to losing everyone left that I loved, but I was close to giving up on the faith that had become such a vital part of my being. It was that faith that helped me to rule with honor and integrity. It was that faith that enabled my to be just and fair. It was that faith in the One, that kept me from taking my own life when my wife had died. Over and over I had seen His faithfulness. Why now was I doubting?

Because it was too close to me and it hurt.

As I wept, and prayed I realized I could give up my faith, but then where would I be? Everything I had come to believe as right and true would be meaningless and that would be the end of me. The One had never said this life would be easy. He never promised that terrible things wouldn't happen. He only promised to be there through it all, and I knew without a doubt He always had.

Getting to my knees next to my daughters bed, I took her hand in mine and I promised the One, that from that day forward, no matter what happened I would never doubt again. It was as if a weight, the one that had sat solemnly on my chest since my grand daughter was taken, was lifted. I took a deep breath and then I felt it.

My daughter squeezed my hand.

I looked up at her face and she smiled. I realized then, we had both just fought a battle in a world unseen, a world that one day He, would overcome. I knew at that moment, the way ahead was going to be long and hard, but He would be with us.

“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom.”

— Luke 12:32 (NASB)

(This was a fictional piece by Amy D. Christensen)

Doubting Thomas - My Story

April 17, 2017 by Amy Christensen in Doubting Thomas, Doubts, Jesus resurrection, He's Alive, John 20:25, John 20, Faith, After the resurrection

"Unless I see in His hands the imprint of the nails, and put my finger into the place of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.”

I don't know what they expected me to say. He had been with us for the past three years and now He was gone. I was hurt, angry, confused and just about beside myself with grief. I really thought his teaching and his work were going to make a difference, but now he was dead! Honestly, I think I felt a little bit betrayed. He was dead and we were still here. We still had to live in this world dominated by an ungodly entity, the Romans. Even our own people seemed to have forgotten who God really was. They had reduced His holiness to list of dos and don'ts.

When I met Jesus, it was as if a window had opened in a cold, dark room letting in the sounds and smells of spring. When he taught, he made me feel as if I could see more clearly. He made everything in creation come into glorious focus. The sky was more blue. The bird song was more beautiful. I can't really explain it, but that is how he made me feel.

It wasn't long before his teaching and miracles caught the attention of the Pharisees and the Sadducees. At first I was excited. I thought they, too, were listening to the Teacher with open ears. I hoped that perhaps our Master's words would bring new life to the old ways. After all, he knew the scriptures. He taught from them himself. It wasn't long before I saw a change in our religious leaders. They became fearful, angry and then hateful. They wanted to get rid of him....and they did.

So, you see, when the others came to me a few days after he had been buried, saying they saw him, I seriously thought they had all gone mad. I found myself almost wishing that I had gone mad as well. I wasn't with them in the house, when Jesus supposedly came and stood in their midst. I had gone on an errand that night. I don't know why things work out the way they do. There can be a lot of "if only's" when things play out differently. But, I do know now, that God has it all figured out. Good thing, too, since we so often make a mess of things.

It was about a week later and we were all together in that same house. Sharing a meal, talking about our fondest memories of him and wondering what was next for all of us. All of a sudden, there he was! There was no knock on the door. In fact I had been lounging on a pillow at the low table facing the door. It was closed. I can't explain it. He wasn't there and then he was!

"Peace be with you."

Those words! How they calmed my troubled and aching heart. Then he spoke directly to me. His voice was all at once gentle and kind, yet so knowingly disappointed.

“Reach here with your finger, and see My hands; and reach here your hand and put it into My side; and do not be unbelieving, but believing.”

I realized with perfect clarity my doubt became my shame. I fell at his feet. How could I stand in the face of such holy and faultless love?

"My Lord and my God!"

In that moment I realized that Jesus was, not only my Teacher and Master, but my Lord and He was God....no doubts! Unfortunately, I lived the rest of my life being known as the doubter. Even after I was dead and gone, Doubt is a paralyzing thing. I promised myself when I was at his feet that day, I would never doubt again, at least not him. How could I doubt the one who saved me?

How can you?

Quotes are taken from John 20 (NASB).