Twoo Wuv!

Who can forget the iconic marriage scene from the Princess Bride?

If you have never seen this family friendly movie, be sure to check it out. It is everything we want in a romantic comedy...danger, sword fights, a beautiful couple and plenty of bad guys. It is one of those old fashion love stories where the couple truly lives, happily ever after.

Seeing as it is Valentine's Day, I thought it would be good to talk about twoo wuv, excuse me, I mean true love. Everyone is looking for true love. We all would like to find our soul mate, the one we instantly connect with and with whom we will always feel giddy and excited. Do you remember your first date? How about your first kiss? Weren't those magical memorable moments? And then one day you finally meet that special someone and you know they are the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. You date, get engaged, plan a wedding and get married. This is the beginning of your happily ever after....

Pixabay

Pixabay

Fast forward five years. Who is this person you married and what did they do with that one you fell so madly and deeply in love with? They leave their clothes on the floor, whiskers in the bathroom sink, the toilet seat up, squeeze the toothpaste the in the middle, and when they finally think to replace the toilet paper roll, they put it on the wrong way. They don't help around the house and you could count on one hand how many diapers they have changed. What happened to true love and the happily ever after?

Pixabay

Pixabay

The last two weeks, I wrote about The Real Romanceand Why is Love so Hard?  The first dealt with God's love for us and the second spoke more to our perspective on how trying to love in our own power is a very hard thing to do. I looked at 1 Corinthians 13 last week and I would like to take another look, in detail, at a few of those verses this week. Using these as a guide we can define what twoo wuv looks like. 

1. Twoo wuv is patient. 

Love is patient...
— I Corinthians 13:4 (NASB)

Patience is a virtue, as the saying goes, and it is essential in a loving relationship. Patience will cover many of those things that might irritate in a marriage, such as toothpaste tubes and toilet paper placement. If something about your significant other is irritating you, take a deep breath and let it go. 

2. Twoo wuv is kind and is not jealous.

...love is kind and is not jealous;...
— I Corinthians 13:4 (NASB)

I find it interesting that these two things are connected with a conjunction. Kindness is key in a loving relationship, just as is trust. I think it is very hard to be kind without the warm blanket of trust surrounding the relationship. There is no place for jealousy in a relationship. 

3. Twoo wuv does not brag and is not prideful. 

...love does not brag and is not arrogant,...
— I Corinthians 13:4 (NASB)

My husband loves to talk about things he's done in the past, as well as when he does a good thing at work. When we were first married, I often thought this was a matter of boastfulness and pride. I have learned, however, that some families have a tradition of story telling, much like many cultures of the past sharing their conquests and victories. Oral tradition used to be the way to pass on a culture's identity and traditions. 

Bragging and arrogance often go hand in hand. When thrown into a relationship they soon become a source of bitterness and frustration. Let's face it, bragging and pride usually are self serving and being self serving in a marriage doesn't not epitomize true love. 

4. Twoo wuv does not act ugly.

...does not act unbecomingly...
— I Corinthians 13:5 (NASB)

I know all about acting ugly in a marriage. My hubby and I affectionately call our first year of marriage, "the year from hell." Yes indeed! I have always been an emotional person. While the years and menopause have done wonders to temper my emotions, the early years were not pretty. I always had mood swings when it was "that time of the month", but being on the birth control pill contributed to emotional rants that were extremely volatile. My poor spouse must have thought he had married an alien or that a demon had come in when I said the marriage vows and taken over my body. 

Allowing ourselves to be "ugly" to our spouses does not create an environment of trust, nor even one of desire. Acting unbecomingly does not foster true love. 

5. Twoo wuv isn't selfish. 

...it does not seek its own,...
— I Corinthians 13:5 (NASB)

We are all selfish by nature. The Bible, says none of us are righteous and we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God. That sin nature expresses itself in the form of selfishness. If you think about all the bad stuff that happens in a marriage and even in our world we can probably link most, if not all, back to selfishness. 

Selfishness is basically the act or mentality of looking out for ourselves. There is a lot of talk these days about self love, and that is important, however, if self love becomes such a focus that it hurts and offends others, then it becomes selfish love. There is no place in a marriage for this type of love. Unfortunately, so many of us start out marriage thinking about what I am going to get from this other person, rather than being confident in our place with Christ and being a loving and gracious servant. 

6. Twoo wuv doesn't hold a grudge. 

...is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,...
— I Corinthians 13:5 (NASB)

I put these two ideas as one because what causes a person to be provoked is probably going to be the same thing that causes that person to hold a grudge. The word provoke, according to Webster means to arouse a feeling or action, or to incite to anger. If true love is not provoked then it doesn't become angry at the object of its affection. How many times have you gotten angry at your spouse? My husband and I have had to learn this one the hard way, by doing it. Ha, ha. Truly, it is not funny. Provocation and holding a grudge are a death sentence in a marriage. Even if you stick it out, like we have, it is very damaging. 

My husband and I have been married for almost 31 years and we are just now beginning to repent and turn away from these unloving behaviors in our relationship. We have a long way to go, but true love is worth the effort. 

7. Twoo wuv rejoices in the right things.

...does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth...
— I Corinthians 13:6 (NASB)

 What exactly does this mean? Certainly, there are all sorts of ways we or our spouses can be unrighteous. The goal is to not condone the things that we do or that we see in each other that are wrong. God wants us to be righteous and truthful, and even more as a couple, since many of us are examples to our children and grandchildren. 

I have found more recently that both my spouse and I have issues with wrong thinking. Meaning, we do not see ourselves truthfully, as God sees us, but as we think the world sees us, or as we see ourselves as coming up short. This is not good for a marriage. We need to be encouraging one another with the truth as it is written in God's word and rejoice in that beautiful truth. 

8. Twoo wuv is the bomb!

...bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
— I Corinthians 13:7 (NASB)

I love the insistent language in these four actions....bears, believes, hopes and endures. Isn't that just beautiful? True love does all of these things. Each of us have our own burdens in life and many of those come out of our relationships with those we love. But true love is called to bear those things, believe in God being able to work in those situations, hope in things getting better, but enduring if they don't. 

Please don't misunderstand. I believe there are situations where a couple just can't work out their issues and divorce may be the only option. Situations of abuse and infidelity are extremely hard to overcome without a great deal of counsel, and in those, each person has to recognize the problem and be willing to get help. 

9. Twoo wuv doesn't fail.

Love never fails...
— I Corinthians 13:8 (NASB)

The final point is, true love will not fail. That is precisely why, this love must come from a source greater than I. God is that source. It is easy to love when life is exciting and smooth, but the whole point of this passage, was that life can be very difficult and love that only sticks around for the smooth and easy times is not true love. 

I hope and pray that you are experiencing twoo wuv in your relationships. If not, I hope that you know, the One who created and exists as true love will always be there for you, day in and day out. 

 

 

 

Lessons Learned from Miracle on 34th Street

Last year I did a series on lessons that I learned from a few of my favorite Christmas movies. You can see those by clicking on the title of the posts below:

A Christmas Lesson Learned from Charlie Brown                                                                                          Christmas Lessons Learned from the Grinch                                                                                                 "Come in, --- come in! and know me better, man!                                                                                               It's a Wonderful Life...or is it?

I thought it would be fun to look at a few other movies that I enjoy watching at this time of year and talk about what I have learned from them.

Pixabay

Pixabay

If you have seen Miracle on 34th Street, either the 1947 version with Maureen O'Hara and Edmund Gwenn as Kris Kringle or the 1994 version with Elizabeth Perkins and Richard Attenborough, you know the basic premise of the movie deals with belief. An elderly man claims to be Kris Kringle, not a man with the same name, but the genuine article. A woman, Mrs. Walker, must be convinced that there is more to Mr. Kringle than just a nice old man. 

"....if you can't believe, if you can't accept anything on faith, then you are doomed for a life dominated by doubt." 

That line, spoken by Mr. Kringle in the video clip above is very powerful and may well sum up what is wrong with our world as a whole. How often, are we as Christians guilty of doubting the truths that God has given us? Do we really believe He is the good shepherd? Do we really have faith that He came to save the lost? Or are our lives dominated by doubt? 

We all live lives of faith. We have faith or believe the sun will rise tomorrow, when I flip a switch the light will come on and the bank I use is taking good care of my money. Whether people want to admit it or not, most of life is a walk of faith. Unfortunately, we often place our faith in people or things that don't deliver. 

When my children were small, I wanted them to know the truth about Christmas, so I told them about Jesus. However, I also told them that Santa, as a man in a sleigh with flying reindeer wan't real. I chose to teach them about Saint Nicolas, the source of the legend of Santa Claus. My motivation was well intended, but I wonder that I did damage to their ability to believe in things that were simply meant to be magical and fun. 

The beauty of putting your faith in Jesus Christ is that everything else falls into its proper place. If I would have had more faith in Him as I raised my children, I think I would have had more fun with them, rather than being obsessed that they come to know Jesus and live for Him. I think we as parents often forget that our children are watching us and the best way to show them Jesus is to live a life in the Spirit out loud. Of course, we all want our children to follow Jesus, but we must have faith in Him, and in His ability to bring it about in His timing. Hard, I know!

In this movie when Kris Kringle is sent to jail for being a menace and mentally unstable it is up to Mrs. Walker, her daughter and a lawyer friend to get him out. The case goes to trial and arguments ensue to try to prove that Santa Claus exists and Mr. Kringle is him. In the more modern version, perhaps my favorite scene takes place when Judge Henry Harper has a most helpful revelation.

I love that Judge Harper is so satisfied with himself at the end of his speech, undoubtedly because he was able to get out of a very sticky situation. Ha, ha. 

Isn't it true? We, the people of the United States of America put our trust as a collective whole in a being we do not see. Perhaps, we need to revisit why the statement, "In God We Trust" was originally put on our currency. 

I have often thought that the church has gotten too far away from the basic tenants of our faith. We don't talk about things like the virgin birth of Christ, the problem of sin or the outcome of that sin. We have a tendency to dance around the issue. The issue is, we need Jesus. Jesus is the reason we celebrate Christmas. We need to get back to that. 

One of the best things we can do as we walk out our journey on this planet is to be teachable. God is always bringing new lessons to be learned and drawing us deeper into His amazing layers. Sometimes He even uses movies to teach us things we need to know. 

Do you like this movie? Have you learned anything from watching a Christmas movie? I hope you'll share your ideas in the comments section. I'd love to learn something from you. 

Come into the Light!

Next month the live action version of Beauty and the Beast will be coming out in theaters. When my daughters were old enough, the original animated version, which came out in 1991,  became one of my favorite movies to watch with them. What could be more intriguing for a writer like me, than a heroine who liked books. It also helped that she was brave, selfless and caring, all qualities I wished I were (and still do). If you are not familiar with the story, it is a tale of love and sacrifice.

Pixabay

Pixabay

Belle is a young woman, living in a small French town. She aspires for more than "this provincial life." Her father is a small time inventor and on one of his trips to sell a new contraption, he becomes lost in the dark woods. When he is chased by wolves and it begins to rain, he finds his way to a hidden castle and goes inside. 

When her father does not come home for a few days, Belle becomes worried and goes to look for him. She happens upon the castle with the help of Philippe the horse and bravely enters to search for her father. She finds him in a dungeon cold and shivering. She wants to free him, but is unable to open the door to his cell. 

The Beast, who has heard of a new intruder in his castle, confronts Belle. She pleads for her father's life. The Beast is not interested in letting his prisoner go, at least not until Belle says that she will take her father's place.

The Beast asks with amazement, "You would take his place?"

"If I did, would you let him go?"

"Yes! But you must promise to stay here forever."

"Come into the light."

Obviously, what Belle saw was not promising to her future. She had no idea when the Beast yanked her father out of that cell if he was going to cook her up for dinner or have her stuffed and put on display in one of the many cavernous castle halls. What follows is a beautiful love story that transcends skin color and massive differences. 

The point I want to expand, is the idea of coming into the light. Wasn't it the light that enabled Belle to see the Beast as he truly was? Over time, however, we realize the light didn't just give her the ability to see his physical form, the light eventually revealed his true nature. He was a young prince who had been turned into a beast due to his selfishness and pride.  As the two became friends, they were able to see past the ugly differences that kept them apart. 

He reveals mysteries from the darkness And brings the deep darkness into light.
— Job 12:22 (NASB)

God is light. If we are to understand life and how to live it, we need to step into the light. We need to be pursuing God and who He is, so that we might understand what the darkness is not. Darkness is not warm, inviting or satisfying. Darkness is not pleasurable or life giving. Yes, God created the darkness for rest, but it seems those who love the darkness are doing anything, but resting.

The Beast was living in darkness. When Belle arrived he made a choice to step into the light. This choice led him down a path of love and eventually redemption. We are faced with the same choice. Are we going to step into the light or are we going to remain in the darkness? Remaining in darkness is a choice that will result in confusion, fumbling and eventually death. 

The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread?
— Psalm 27:1 (NASB)

God's word, the Bible, tells us, the Lord is our light and our salvation. It doesn't say that our own knowledge is our light, or that man's wisdom is the light. Jesus Himself also declared He is the light. 

Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, “I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.”
— John 8:12 (NASB)

The key here is that we have to follow Him and pursue Him. Let's face it, life can be overwhelming. In the last five days two dear women I know lost their husbands to heart failure. Both of these women walk in the light. They know to whom to turn during this terrible time of loss and grief. It is the light, His light that will give them the strength to go on when life is so dark.

And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, For You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.
— Psalm 9:10 (NASB)

Where are you at today? Are you struggling in the darkness? Do you feel that you have been thrown into the dungeon of some beast with fangs? Step into His light. He will guide you out. He will bring life and love out of the darkness.

The song below was written as a Christmas song, but it is worth the listen at any time. Come into the light!

What Do You Believe?

The word faith as defined by Webster's dictionary means, a firm belief in something for which there is no proof. We often associate the word faith with religion. The Jews believe in Yahweh, the Muslims believe in Allah, the Christians believe in Jesus and the atheists believe in nothing. Even the lack of a deity is a belief, because there is no absolute proof. You can say there is no God, but how do you know for sure? Can you take a rocket ship into the furtherest reaches of space and discover that there is no being who calls himself God? Probably not and even if you had the resources to build a rocket and go into space, the vastness of that place would make it impossible for you to ever truly discover wether or not there is a supreme being known as God. 

Jeremy Thomas  on StockSnap

Jeremy Thomas on StockSnap

Faith is just that. It is the ability to believe without proof. Every day we make faith based choices. I have faith that when I get out of bed the floor I step on will hold me. I have faith that the air I breathe or the water I drink will not kill me. I have faith that when I drive to work, everyone else will obey the traffic laws, driving the speed limit, stopping at red lights and driving on the correct side of the road. A parent exercises faith when they put their child on the school bus. A patient exercises faith when they go to the doctor. Even scientists exercise faith in many of the theories and scientific laws they put forth as fact. 

At some point in your life, you might want to ask yourself, what do I believe? Maybe you are wondering what I believe. Belief comes with an aspect of trust. Whatever I believe or put my faith in, I am choosing to trust. Trust seems to be a big issue in our world today. We live in a society filled with mistrust, whether it be in the President of the United States, in our educational system or in our own spouses. In many cases a child cannot even trust his own parent where abuse is involved. So who do you trust?

So what is the big deal? Why have faith? Why bother trusting anyone, but myself? Any of you who remember Simon and Garfunkel, probably remember the song, I Am A Rock, which included lyrics like, 

I’ve built walls
A fortress, steep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship
Friendship causes pain.
It’s laughter and it’s loving I disdain.
I am a rock
I am an island
— Simon and Garfunkel - I Am A Rock
Mikkel Schmidt  on StockSnap

Mikkel Schmidt on StockSnap

Even though we probably have all felt like an island at some point in time, the reality is that we need people. Not only that, but we need to be able to put our trust in someone who won't let us down. 

When I was twelve, my family was faced with some difficult financial stresses. It put a strain on my parents relationship and I was old enough to know that it was creating hardship in our family. It was at that point in time that I decided I needed someone I could trust and gave my heart and life to Jesus Christ. In order to be able to fully trust, we have to be able to be fully vulnerable and know that we will not be hurt by doing so. 

Jesus has been, not only my Savior, but my closest friend. Maybe you are reading this and thinking, "I don't get it! How could you have a friendship with a being who is so far beyond what we know and understand?" That is the beauty of this faith! I believe, not in a religion. I believe in a relationship.

Jesus speaks in the Gospels of relationship. He speaks of dwelling together, like a family.

In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you.
— John 14:2 (NASB)
Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him.”
— John 14:23 (NASB)
“I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word; that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.”
— John 17:20-21 (NASB)

These are not the words of a being who wants to keep his distance, nor one that makes demands we can never keep. These are the words of the God Man, both fully God and fully Man. His desire is that we be with Him and that we have oneness with Him and His Father. When I put my trust in someone, He was the one. 

Who are you trusting in today? The government, the law, the psychic or yourself? Why not put your trust in the one who has loved you with an everlasting love. 

King Solomon is considered to be the wisest King of all time and this is what he said, 

My son, do not forget my teaching,
But let your heart keep my commandments;
For length of days and years of life
And peace they will add to you.
Do not let kindness and truth leave you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good repute
In the sight of God and man.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones.
— Proverbs 3:1-8 (NASB)

Life Under Construction

Summer in the Midwest can bring many things including heat, drought, brown grass and extreme quick weather changes. Often the weather men will predict hot sunny days and then a cool front will pass through with gusty winds and driving rain. Other times they predict rain and we get days and days of sun blistering the grass and causing plants to wilt. But there is one thing we can always depend on....orange barrels!

We have come to call this time of year, not summer, but orange barrel season. Here in Toledo, we have numerous, large, road construction projects going on at the same time. My husband and I have lamented over whose idea it is to do construction on all the north-south roads at the same time, or the east-west roads, or it seems, all the roads going anywhere. Currently there is a massive construction project going on just around the corner from where we live. Traffic is almost always backed up and no matter where we go, there are pesky orange barrels.

Sometimes it seems that our lives are as much like a construction zone, filled with annoying barrels, as those streets we drive on. When I look at the construction going on, especially when they are reconfiguring major on/off ramps and moving bridges, I am amazed that the engineers have a plan. For such a long time it looks like a big mess; moving dirt here, tearing up large pieces of concrete there, cranes, bulldozers, dump trucks, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise. Eventually it begins to looks like it makes sense. A pile of dirt turns into the foundation for the future ramp. Those large chunks of concrete disappear and are replaced with steel beams for a new bridge. After time, like a butterfly making it's way out of a cocoon, the new ramps are finished and paved with smooth black pavement and the bridge is securely in place able to hold it's own weight and that of a million moving cars.

I don't know about you, but sometimes I wonder just what the engineer of this life is all about. Life looks more like the chaos of broken pavement and piles of dirt than it does smooth, newly finished pavement. God doesn't have to ask me what my opinion is. He is the master engineer, after all. However, there are times, when I look at the brokenness of the world we live in, even the brokenness of my own life and I wonder, what is He doing? Then I start giving me opinion:

"Wouldn't that pile of dirt look better over there?"

"Shouldn't you use that broken concrete as part of the foundation for the bridge? We are into recycling, you know!"

"Don't you think you could get some quieter machinery to do the work?"

As if I could walk into the engineers meeting for the highway department and begin to tell them how to improve their roads and highways. I do not have an engineering degree and know absolutely nothing about building bridges, unless they are made of blocks or Legos. Why then, do I think I know how to run my life? I did not create life. God did. I did not form a planet out of nothing or breath life into dust. Only an almighty God can do that. So simply put, He knows better than I how to construct a life. Sometimes He may dig and tear. Sometimes He may grind and pound, but He knows what He is doing.

orange barrel
For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.
— Jeremiah 29:11 (NASB)

He has it all figured out. Just like I trust those engineers to build a bridge that will not collapse the first time I drive over it, I also must trust God that He is doing what is best in my life and in the lives of those I love. I am not sure why this is so hard, but think about it. God is the one who gave those engineers the ability to design plans to build roads and overpasses and bridges. So if the same God who made men with minds that can create amazing things has a plan for my life, shouldn't I believe Him? Shouldn't I trust Him?

Whatever mess you might find yourself in, take a deep breath. He's got this and He's got you! He desires to give you a future and a hope. There will always be orange barrels, but I feel better knowing that He's got my life in His hands.