Twoo Wuv!

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Who can forget the iconic marriage scene from the Princess Bride?

If you have never seen this family friendly movie, be sure to check it out. It is everything we want in a romantic comedy...danger, sword fights, a beautiful couple and plenty of bad guys. It is one of those old fashion love stories where the couple truly lives, happily ever after.

Seeing as it is Valentine's Day, I thought it would be good to talk about twoo wuv, excuse me, I mean true love. Everyone is looking for true love. We all would like to find our soul mate, the one we instantly connect with and with whom we will always feel giddy and excited. Do you remember your first date? How about your first kiss? Weren't those magical memorable moments? And then one day you finally meet that special someone and you know they are the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. You date, get engaged, plan a wedding and get married. This is the beginning of your happily ever after....

Pixabay

Pixabay

Fast forward five years. Who is this person you married and what did they do with that one you fell so madly and deeply in love with? They leave their clothes on the floor, whiskers in the bathroom sink, the toilet seat up, squeeze the toothpaste the in the middle, and when they finally think to replace the toilet paper roll, they put it on the wrong way. They don't help around the house and you could count on one hand how many diapers they have changed. What happened to true love and the happily ever after?

Pixabay

Pixabay

The last two weeks, I wrote about The Real Romance, and Why is Love so Hard?  The first dealt with God's love for us and the second spoke more to our perspective on how trying to love in our own power is a very hard thing to do. I looked at 1 Corinthians 13 last week and I would like to take another look, in detail, at a few of those verses this week. Using these as a guide we can define what twoo wuv looks like. 

1. Twoo wuv is patient. 

“ Love is patient...”
— I Corinthians 13:4 (NASB)

Patience is a virtue, as the saying goes, and it is essential in a loving relationship. Patience will cover many of those things that might irritate in a marriage, such as toothpaste tubes and toilet paper placement. If something about your significant other is irritating you, take a deep breath and let it go. 

2. Twoo wuv is kind and is not jealous.

“...love is kind and is not jealous;...”
— I Corinthians 13:4 (NASB)

I find it interesting that these two things are connected with a conjunction. Kindness is key in a loving relationship, just as is trust. I think it is very hard to be kind without the warm blanket of trust surrounding the relationship. There is no place for jealousy in a relationship. 

3. Twoo wuv does not brag and is not prideful. 

“...love does not brag and is not arrogant,...”
— I Corinthians 13:4 (NASB)

My husband loves to talk about things he's done in the past, as well as when he does a good thing at work. When we were first married, I often thought this was a matter of boastfulness and pride. I have learned, however, that some families have a tradition of story telling, much like many cultures of the past sharing their conquests and victories. Oral tradition used to be the way to pass on a culture's identity and traditions. 

Bragging and arrogance often go hand in hand. When thrown into a relationship they soon become a source of bitterness and frustration. Let's face it, bragging and pride usually are self serving and being self serving in a marriage doesn't not epitomize true love. 

4. Twoo wuv does not act ugly.

“...does not act unbecomingly...”
— I Corinthians 13:5 (NASB)

I know all about acting ugly in a marriage. My hubby and I affectionately call our first year of marriage, "the year from hell." Yes indeed! I have always been an emotional person. While the years and menopause have done wonders to temper my emotions, the early years were not pretty. I always had mood swings when it was "that time of the month", but being on the birth control pill contributed to emotional rants that were extremely volatile. My poor spouse must have thought he had married an alien or that a demon had come in when I said the marriage vows and taken over my body. 

Allowing ourselves to be "ugly" to our spouses does not create an environment of trust, nor even one of desire. Acting unbecomingly does not foster true love. 

5. Twoo wuv isn't selfish. 

“...it does not seek its own,...”
— I Corinthians 13:5 (NASB)

We are all selfish by nature. The Bible, says none of us are righteous and we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God. That sin nature expresses itself in the form of selfishness. If you think about all the bad stuff that happens in a marriage and even in our world we can probably link most, if not all, back to selfishness. 

Selfishness is basically the act or mentality of looking out for ourselves. There is a lot of talk these days about self love, and that is important, however, if self love becomes such a focus that it hurts and offends others, then it becomes selfish love. There is no place in a marriage for this type of love. Unfortunately, so many of us start out marriage thinking about what I am going to get from this other person, rather than being confident in our place with Christ and being a loving and gracious servant. 

6. Twoo wuv doesn't hold a grudge. 

“...is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,...”
— I Corinthians 13:5 (NASB)

I put these two ideas as one because what causes a person to be provoked is probably going to be the same thing that causes that person to hold a grudge. The word provoke, according to Webster means to arouse a feeling or action, or to incite to anger. If true love is not provoked then it doesn't become angry at the object of its affection. How many times have you gotten angry at your spouse? My husband and I have had to learn this one the hard way, by doing it. Ha, ha. Truly, it is not funny. Provocation and holding a grudge are a death sentence in a marriage. Even if you stick it out, like we have, it is very damaging. 

My husband and I have been married for almost 31 years and we are just now beginning to repent and turn away from these unloving behaviors in our relationship. We have a long way to go, but true love is worth the effort. 

7. Twoo wuv rejoices in the right things.

“...does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth...”
— I Corinthians 13:6 (NASB)

 What exactly does this mean? Certainly, there are all sorts of ways we or our spouses can be unrighteous. The goal is to not condone the things that we do or that we see in each other that are wrong. God wants us to be righteous and truthful, and even more as a couple, since many of us are examples to our children and grandchildren. 

I have found more recently that both my spouse and I have issues with wrong thinking. Meaning, we do not see ourselves truthfully, as God sees us, but as we think the world sees us, or as we see ourselves as coming up short. This is not good for a marriage. We need to be encouraging one another with the truth as it is written in God's word and rejoice in that beautiful truth. 

8. Twoo wuv is the bomb!

“...bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
— I Corinthians 13:7 (NASB)

I love the insistent language in these four actions....bears, believes, hopes and endures. Isn't that just beautiful? True love does all of these things. Each of us have our own burdens in life and many of those come out of our relationships with those we love. But true love is called to bear those things, believe in God being able to work in those situations, hope in things getting better, but enduring if they don't. 

Please don't misunderstand. I believe there are situations where a couple just can't work out their issues and divorce may be the only option. Situations of abuse and infidelity are extremely hard to overcome without a great deal of counsel, and in those, each person has to recognize the problem and be willing to get help. 

9. Twoo wuv doesn't fail.

“ Love never fails...”
— I Corinthians 13:8 (NASB)

The final point is, true love will not fail. That is precisely why, this love must come from a source greater than I. God is that source. It is easy to love when life is exciting and smooth, but the whole point of this passage, was that life can be very difficult and love that only sticks around for the smooth and easy times is not true love. 

I hope and pray that you are experiencing twoo wuv in your relationships. If not, I hope that you know, the One who created and exists as true love will always be there for you, day in and day out. 

 

 

 

Thanksgiving Thoughts - A Comparison of Two Lives

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The act of giving thanks is not restricted to those who "have it all". We sometimes feel that it is easier to give thanks when our lives are going smoothly and without the typical chaos. All of us can be thankful, no matter what our current situation in life. We may be flourishing or we may be floundering, but God, in His infinite wisdom and love knew that thanksgiving was an essential part of life and one that makes us happier and healthier. 

Pixabay - thanks

Last year I wrote a post entitled It is Good to Give Thanks. In that post I linked to an article from  the Forbes website: 7 Scientifically Proven Benefits of Gratitude. You can see my original post and the article written by Amy Morin, by clicking on the links. I believe that giving thanks was God's way of getting us to reboot. When life is overwhelming and things are not going as we had hoped or planned, giving thanks takes us back to center. What is that center? God and His great love and goodness. 

I want to take the rest of this post to look at two lives. These two men were living extremely different lives. One became a king, the other was a leper. What did they have in common? They both took the time to give thanks.

David - King of Israel

The life of David the simple shepherd boy who became the King of one of the greatest nations in the world, can be found throughout the Old Testament books of 1 & 2 Samuel, as well as the first chapter of i Kings and a few scattered chapters in 1st Chronicles. David is also the author of at least 73 of the 150 psalms in the book of Psalms. Many of these contain the act of giving thanks. Here are a few examples.

“I will give thanks to the Lord according to His righteousness And will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High.”
— Psalm 7:17 (NASB)
“I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart; I will tell of all Your wonders”
— Psalm 9:1 (NASB)
“Therefore I will give thanks to You among the nations, O Lord, And I will sing praises to Your name.”
— Psalm 18:49 (NASB)
“That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.”
— Psalm 30:12 (NASB)

The Psalms are a great place to go if you are looking for scriptures to bring you back to the center of gratitude. 

While David lived a life of wealth, fame and leisure, he did not always have a simple or smooth journey. Fighting giants, battling wars and being chased by King Saul who was mad with jealousy were the basis for some of the songs that David penned. He also penned from the darkness of his heart because he was well aware of his sin. Taking another man's wife, getting her pregnant and then having the man killed were all sins David committed while being a man after God's own heart. Yet, he seemed to know that giving thanks was part of the process of finding his way back to a right relationship with the heavenly Father. 

The Leper

In the New Testament, Luke, in his gospel, writes about the healing of ten lepers. It is not surprising that Luke often focused in on healing. He was a doctor. What I love about Luke's retelling of this particular incident is what follows after Jesus heals the ten men. 

Leprosy was a terrible disease in Biblical times that was thought to be highly contagious. Today, leprosy is treatable and typically only affects people in very poor areas without good treatment. When Jesus walked the earth lepers lived in leper colonies which were most often well outside the cities. These people were kept apart, partly because of the Levitical law of things that were clean and unclean. 

Poverty - pixabay

When these ten leprous men stood at a distance and raised their voices to Jesus, they were making a plea for their restoration. Imagine if you were one of these men. You know doubt heard the news about this man of God who was healing all kinds of diseases. When you knew he was coming to your village you would have raised your voice too. Of course you would want to be healed. You wanted to have normal life and be able to hug your families again!

"Master! Have mercy on us."

"Go and show yourselves to the priests."

They probably turned as a group and nearly stumbled over each other as they scooted towards the local synagogue. But a strange thing happened as they were on their way. They were healed. 

“Now one of them, when he saw that he had been healed, turned back, glorifying God with a loud voice, and he fell on his face at His feet, giving thanks to Him. And he was a Samaritan.”
— Luke 17:15-16 (NASB)

One man turned back and what did he do? He gave thanks. What set this man apart from the rest? Luke informs us that the man was a Samaritan. If you know anything about history you might be aware that Samaritans were a cross breed mix of Jewish and many other people groups that had originated as far back as the Babylonian exile. They were not looked upon with favor by the Jews because they were not pure Jews (my own terminology). So here you have a man, who is not only a leper, but a Samaritan. How do you think he got along in the local leper community? He probably was an outcast in a group of outcasts. Yet, it is our Samaritan friend who turns back and gives glory and thanks to God. 

“Then Jesus answered and said, “Were there not ten cleansed? But the nine—where are they? Was no one found who returned to give glory to God, except this foreigner?” And He said to him, “Stand up and go; your faith has made you well.””

If Jesus made a statement about a particular incident you can bet we had better stand up and take notice. Have you even noticed how critical, bitter and hateful people who call themselves Christian can be? And what about those who are walking without God? Sometimes they are the nicest most thankful people we know. The point is, if we know Christ and are claiming His name, then we had better walk the walk. Being thankful is part of that walk.

Two men, with vastly different lives, realized the importance of giving thanks. Paul said,

“in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
— I Thessalonians 5:18 (NASB)

As we look forward to Thanksgiving next week and the weeks following leading up to Christmas, let's get back to our God center and be thankful!

Ever Insult a Rhino?

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A number of years ago my husband and I had the opportunity to visit the San Diego Zoo. Mark had a conference that he was involved in and I went along. I had never been to California before and I was looking forward to some beautiful sunny weather. Unfortunately, when we went it was during an occurrence of La Nina and the weather, while sunny, was extremely chilly. I made the best of it. While my hubby was schmoozing with big wigs, I was fully dressed, laying on a lounge chair shivering. Ha, ha. However, it was a beautiful resort and we did get to do a little sightseeing while we were there, including their famous zoo. 

The San Diego Zoo is famous for its size as well as the variety of interesting animals who call it home. After buying a sweatshirt for me, to keep me from shivering to death, we had fun exploring. Coming upon the rhino exhibit my husband and I were fascinated with how visible these magnificent beasts were. The low wall allowed for a full view of one particularly sturdy black rhino munching on long grasses. 

Pixabay

Pixabay

I do not speak rhino, so I did not expect the craggy monster to understand what I said, but apparently he did. When the rhino had picked up a large mass of grasses he lifted his head and looked at me. With all that vegetable matter hanging out on either side of his pointy proboscis he looked rather silly. I told him so.

"Hey! You are goofy looking!"

No sooner had the words left my mouth than that rock of an animal began rotating his body so that his large derriere was facing me. My husband found this most amusing, while I was worried I was going to experience something worse than just rhino flatulence. I decided to move further down the path, but my spouse began to empathize with the poor, misunderstood rhino.

"That's okay! She treats me that way too!"

Pixabay

Pixabay

The rhino was not to be consoled. He continued to move his butt end so that it was facing me as I moved down the path. Finally, he lifted his tail and passed gas! I guess he told me. I'll never insult a rhino again.

My reason for sharing this story has to do with our ability to hurt people with our words, both written and spoken. While, I am fairly sure the rhino did not understand what I said, people are much more in tune with the words spoken to them. The same is true of the opinions we share on social media. 

We often feel because we live in a free country we have the right to say whatever we want, wherever we want, with what ever enthusiasm we want. While it is true that we have many freedoms and rights because of the nation we live in, does that give us a carte blanche to spew without regard to who I might be hurting or offending?

“Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity Than he who is perverse in speech and is a fool.”
— Proverbs 19:1 (NASB)
“But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth.”
— Colossians 3:8 (NASB)
“Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.”
— Colossians 4:6 (NASB)

I think this last verse really sums it up well. We are to let our speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt. Most of you know that adding salt to a dish, helps to make it tasty, but adding too much salt can make that same dish taste terrible.

Pixabay

Pixabay

I am all for speaking truth. As a Christ follower, I am obligated to share the truth of the gospel and the words of God from the Bible, but I can choose to do it in a way that is offensive and overly salty, or I can share as His Spirit moves and gives opportunity. It is in this intimate walk with Christ that my words will be just the perfect seasoning. Having a close relationship with Jesus will enable us to know when to speak and when to be quiet; when to share the truth and when to just give words of comfort. 

As you go forward today draw close to Him, think before you speak and remember to never insult a rhino!