Wonderful Words of Life: The Perfect Work of Struggle

For the last five months I have been getting mental health counseling from a licensed therapist. After everything I went through in 2021 with my health, and subsequent bouts with Covid, sinus infections and other aches and pains, in addition to past hurts and traumas in our family I felt it was time to start a journey towards better mental health.

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Even though we have made great strides to lessen the stigma surrounding mental health struggles, there are still many people who will not seek help even though their lives could be greatly improved by it. A person does not have to be on the verge of suicide or struggling with addictions, or PTSD to need counseling. In fact, it is better if we seek help before we get to the breaking point, or before we begin seeking other, more self destructive habits to compensate for the pain or numbness we are feeling.

In addition, I believe as Christ followers we are doing a great disservice to our brothers and sisters if we do not recommend licensed therapeutic counsel when so many people in our churches and congregations are struggling with their identity, their marriages, their children, and with the constant input of information that is often not beneficial, but detrimental to their well being.

As a Faith Blogger, I want to give you good, and accurate information and most of what I share with you is Scriptural teaching which I have learned in my years of walking with Christ. I don’t have a psychology degree, nor do I have a certificate in counseling. However, I do have the Holy Spirit, and His guidance in my life as I have maneuvered the bumpy waters of this journey called life.

“27 As for you, the anointing which you received from Him abides in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you; but as His anointing teaches you about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you abide in Him.”

— I John 2:27 (NASB 1995)

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We all can have the wisdom of God because as believers in Christ we are directly linked to the triune God head: the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The above verse reminds us that we received an anointing from Him who abides in us. In other words, Jesus anointed us with the Holy Spirit. We see this outpouring of the Holy Spirit in Acts 2. The Holy Spirit is one with the Father and the Son, so they all know and operate in one mind. The Holy Spirit makes plain to us the things of God. Problems arise when I try to take that which is straight forward and simple and make it into a convoluted mess. The above verse reminds us that the Holy Spirit teaches us about all things, and that teaching is true, not a lie.

All of this is a preface to the wonderful words of life found in the book of James.

“2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,
3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ”

— James 1:2-4 (NIV)

You might be wondering how can I think these are wonderful words when it tells us we are going to face trials of many kinds, and that our faith is going to be tested. Let’s take a closer look.

Consider it pure joy…

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What sort of joy is this pure joy? If we look at the definition of pure we see that it means without any other particles or pollutants, as in pure water, or pure white snow. Pure joy is free from that which doesn’t belong such as all the fleshly characteristics that we so often exhibit when going through difficulty.

…whenever you face trials of many kinds…

What in blazes does having this pure joy have to do with facing various trials? How is that even possible? We’ll get to that in a moment.

…because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

This also seems a bit of a stretch doesn’t it? I mean how do struggles and trials produce perseverance?

Let perseverance finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

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It looks as though this scripture is telling us that perseverance works to make us mature and complete to the point that we are not lacking anything.

Let’s back away from these segments and look at this as a whole picture. We, as Christ followers, have learned that we will have trouble in this life. Didn’t Jesus tell this to his disciples?

“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.””

— John 16:33 (NASB 1995)

Christ knew we would have trouble in this world. He walked as a man for approximately 33 years. He knew what is was to be hungry, thirsty and tired. He knew the frustration of not being understood and of being falsely accused. He was separated from His true family and lived his life here knowing what was to come. He did it for us.

Our ability to have joy when undergoing difficulty is completely dependent on our relationship with Christ. Are we independent, living by our own means and resources, or our we Christ dependent, living and depending on the resources available to us through the King of Kings who has adopted us? We can face any trial or trauma and persevere because He gives us the ability. It is not something we dredge up ourselves; an inner strength of our own making, it is in Him because He is able.

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As we lean back in our Savior’s arms, waiting on Him, seeking Him, praying in Him, abiding in Him, we persevere. As we persevere, we grow and mature. Not only do we mature, but we become complete, not lacking anything. That to me is amazing. It gives me the hope I need when I am faced with insurmountable hardship. Difficulty is part of this life, but it always has a purpose, and that purpose is making us complete.

I am sure some of you are asking the question, Why doesn’t God just by pass the difficulties and make us mature and complete without all the frustration and pain of struggle and heartbreak? He could, couldn’t He? Of course, but easier does not always mean better. God knows what is best, and by faith that is what I believe.

Don’t give up! Life is hard, but in hardship you are becoming exactly what God wants you to be.

Words of Life - Comfort

Today we are going to take a quick look at a few verses from the book of 2 Corinthians. This second book that Paul wrote to the church at Corinth, gets into the theme of suffering and Paul’s own walk in the Spirit to carry out the work of spreading the Gospel.

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The word comfort is both a verb and a noun. As a verb it is defined by Webster’s Online Dictionary as the act of giving hope or strength to, or to ease the grief or trouble of someone. As a noun it can be defined as: strengthening aid, consolation in times of trouble or worry; a feeling of relief or contented well being; a satisfying or enjoyable experience, or a person who brings comfort.

Look at the following pictures. Which of these make you think of comfort?

Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay

Image by Анастасия Белоусова from Pixabay

Image by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi from Pixabay

Image by Thanks for your donation for the download. from Pixabay

I love a cozy fire, furry pets, warm drinks, relaxing smells, hot baths and comfy beds. All of these make me think of being comfortable and cared for. Let’s see what Pauls says about comfort.

“3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
4 who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
5 For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. ”

— 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (NASB 1995)

Let’s face it, there is a lot of hard, uncomfortable stuff in our lives. Since the onslaught of Covid it seems that every time we turn on the news or open our computers we hear about some other disaster, either in the health field or in the natural world. In addition, we are inundated with bad news both close to home and far away. Who doesn’t have ill relatives, children who have walked away from God, job loss, divorce or feelings of being overwhelmed just by the thought of getting out of bed. We all know somebody who is suffering.

These verses tell us several important, life giving thoughts about God.

1 - He is the God of ALL comfort. This God, the one who created us from dust (and yes I will keep reminding you of that), who provided a way through His own Son for us to come back into a right relationship with Him, who knows the number of hairs on our heads and stars in the sky - He is the same God who provides all the comfort we need through whatever valley we are walking through.

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2 - He comforts us in ALL our affliction. God is certainly the God of ALL’s! He’s not just the God of ALL comfort, but He comforts us in ALL of our affliction. Think about all you are struggling with. Now think about how God comforts you in it. We most often miss the working of God in our lives because we are too distracted by our suffering and our sorrow to recognize His hand of comfort. His hand is there in the many forms of His word, His people, His songs, His prayers, and His Spirit. Remember the Spirit intercedes for you.

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“In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;”

— Romans 8:26 (NASB 1995)

3 - God has a purpose. Our struggles and our suffering always have a purpose; a purpose which is always preceded by God’s approval. Why? Because life isn’t just about us. Life is about bringing glory to God and the way we do that is by living in community with others. God doesn’t want us to be hermits, always keeping to ourselves protected from the harm that relationships can bring. We struggle so we can help others. Suffering, if given over to God, tenderizes our hearts so we are able to give care and encouragement to others who are also suffering. This is part of how we share in the sufferings of Christ.

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“16 The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God,
17 and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.”

— Romans 8:16-17 (NASB 1995)

4 - Abundant suffering means abundant comfort. God doesn’t just comfort us once in a while. He doesn’t just comfort us through one really hard time. He comforts us every time we are suffering, no matter how big or small the suffering is. Since the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, meaning we benefit from all the suffering He endured to be human and to pay for our sins, then the comfort of Christ is also ours in abundance.

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Learning to lean in to the suffering of Christ is a hard concept to grasp and, perhaps, not the most fun thing to think about. However, the reality is as long as we are living life on this planet we will endure suffering, if not our own, that of others around us, including those we care for. Knowing that God is there to comfort me through it all gives me life giving hope. I hope it does for you as well.

When Darkness Comes - Wrap Up

We have been doing a series on when darkness comes into our lives. Darkness can be anything that you encounter that causes you to struggle, doubt or grow weary. From the very beginning we learned that darkness is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact when we read the creation account at the beginning of Genesis we learn that God created the darkness for our benefit. However, there are times when it seems that darkness has moved in to our lives like some sort of dank, slimy giant who is determined to make his new home with us. It seems that life will never know the light again and that the only thing we will know is that musty smell of wormwood.

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For this final post, I just want to review some of the things we learned over the last few weeks. It is rather apropos that in the midst of doing this series, I was blasted with a health crisis. It has stretched me to my limits. I know there are so many people who have had much more difficult health problems, but it is the incessant illness and the ensuing steps of trying to get things diagnosed, going to doctors, urgent cares and even the emergency room, still to no avail. The waiting; the not knowing; the feeling of hopelessness that things will ever get any better wears a person down.

The very thing that kept me going through all of this, were the lessons I had been learning previously when I was going through more of a mental and emotional crisis. That is what I have shared with you in this series. The verse that has kept coming back to me during the non-stop coughing, long nights of wheezing and not being able to sleep, and the not having answers is this:

“Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.””

— Psalm 27:14 (NASB)

All to often waiting is exactly that, waiting. It has more of a passive feel to it. There are times, where that is exactly what we need to do. However, many of the verses in the Bible that use the word wait, have an active voice. Waiting, involves, anticipation, expectation and even an element of seeking. Waiting is not for wimps! Why do you think the psalmist went on to say, “Be strong and let your heart take courage…”? He knew that waiting requires strength. I will leave that for another lesson. Today, I just want to review what we can take away from the series, When Darkness Comes.

1 - God created the darkness - The very first lesson in this series explored the truth, God created the darkness. While dark and light are no different to Him, He knew that our world and the people He created would need the darkness and its benefits.

2 - Darkness became associated with being bad when Satan challenged God’s authority - Remember, not only did Satan challenge God’s authority, but he was angry. In his anger he attacked God’s creation by tempting Adam and Eve to sin. It was after this event that the darkness became a place to hide and cover sinful deeds.

3 - God is in the darkness - No matter what dark days we are going through, God is over, under, around and within our darkness. The darkness is as light to Him, so there are no worries that He won’t be able to find us. He is right here with us.

4 - Being in the dark does not mean we did something wrong - God is sovereign and it is in this Lordship over all that He determines when and where we walk, and whether that way will be in the light or in the dark.

5 - When we are walking in the dark we need to remind ourselves of who God is - This is the first step in being able to dwell in the dark place. We have to remember who God is. A good way to do this is to write in a journal, but that is not the only way. Writing, singing, reading all help us to get back to the core truths in scripture about who God says he is.

6 - When we are walking in the dark we need to remind ourselves of who we are - We tend to put on false faces when we are going through difficulties. We tend to not want others to see how we really feel, or what we are really thinking. In order to dwell in the dark place, and even flourish in that darkness, we need to be honest about our feelings, and who God’s word tells us we are.

7 - There is a time when we need to reveal our true hearts - In other words, there are times we need to be starkly honest with God. Yes, He already knows what we are thinking and feeling, but we need to acknowledge these things out loud. Being able to vent our true hearts before Him is an important part of being able to survive a dark time.

8 - Growth, in a dark place, is directly related to letting God’s truth meet the raw edges of our ragged emotions - The scriptures are full of people with real emotions. David, Abraham, Moses, Paul and others didn’t just bring us the inspired words of God, but His truth, seasoned with their very own emotions. So much of scripture is meant for helping us deal, temper and work through our intense emotions. Letting His truth touch our emotions allows His Spirit to bring light to all of our dark places.

9 - Thanksgiving is essential to the growth process - There is a reason God said to give thanks at all times and in everything give thanks. Gratitude is the next step in allowing the darkness to empower, rather than overpower us.

10 - Dark places cannot remain dark when God’s piercing happens within our hearts - The process of going through these steps as we walk in darkness has the ultimate outcome of light coming in to the dark place. Truth, while not always pleasant, will always reveal. Obedience to God’s movement in the dark place will always open small windows that will let the light in.

I hope you enjoyed this series on When Darkness Comes and that by sharing my own process of walking in a dark place you will be better able to get through your own times of darkness.

Thanks for following along, on the blog. Have a great weekend.

When Darkness Comes - Part 9: The Transformative Power of Thanksgiving

We all have heard the old saying that we are to have an attitude of gratitude. Most of us are aware of the difference a mindset of thankfulness can have on our thoughts, emotions and actions.

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“Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.”

— Seneca

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings”

— William Arthur Ward

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.”

— Aesop

God’s Word is clear on the importance of giving thanks.

“in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.”

— I Thessalonians 5:18 (NASB)

Just as the Bible commands us to, “Rejoice always” (1 Thessalonians 5:16), and “pray without ceasing” (I Thessalonians 5:17), we are also commanded to give thanks at all times in everything. That means we are to give thanks when the darkness is upon us. We are to give thanks for it, in it and after it has left us. Why is it so important that we thank God when we are in the darkness? Let’s look at a few different reasons.

1 - It places us under His authority.

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The act of remembering who we are and who God is enables us to have perspective. Being thankful places us in our correct standing before Him. Pride, which places us above God, saying we can get through this ourselves and we don’t need anyone’s help, especially His, makes us the authority and not God.

“Every person is to be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.”

— Romans 13:1 (NASB)

Knowing there is authority and actually placing ourselves under it are two different things. When we give thanks we recognize God as the one true authority.

2 - It places us under His protection.

“1 One who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
Will lodge in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
My God, in whom I trust!”
3 For it is He who rescues you from the net of the trapper
And from the deadly plague.
4 He will cover you with His pinions,
And under His wings you may take refuge;
His faithfulness is a shield and wall.

5 You will not be afraid of the terror by night,
Or of the arrow that flies by day;
6 Of the plague that [a]stalks in darkness,
Or of the destruction that devastates at noon.
7 A thousand may fall at your side
And ten thousand at your right hand,
But it shall not approach you.
8 You will only look on with your eyes
And see the retaliation against the wicked.
9 For you have made the Lord, my refuge,
The Most High, your dwelling place.
10 No evil will happen to you,
Nor will any plague come near your tent.

11 For He will give His angels orders concerning you,
To protect you in all your ways.
12 On their hands they will lift you up,
So that you do not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will walk upon the lion and cobra,
You will trample the young lion and the [d]serpent.

14 “Because he has loved Me, I will save him;
I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.
15 He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
16 I will satisfy him with a long life,
And show him My salvation.””

— Psalm 91

Why does giving thanks place us under His protection? The choice to be thankful requires a shift in our mindset. We know our Unseen Enemy loves to play mind games. If we are teetering on the edge of anger, bitterness, malice, wrath and other bad emotions, we are going to be more susceptible to making choices that are not for our benefit. Dark emotions are part of our sin nature, and very normal, but God does not want us to stay in those murky places. Staying there will result in our undoing.

3 - It lets in the light.

Giving thanks is like turning on a flashlight or lighting a candle when you are in a very dark room. When darkness is present in our lives and we are grieving, depressed, struggling, or lost, the choice to thank God allows Him to open the tiniest window into our shadowed world. You might not see the light right away. Often we become accustomed to the darkness and we might even forget what it was like to walk in the light, but light will always pierce the darkness.

When I was going through the dark time I have been sharing with you, I spent three days praying and journaling, most of which I have been sharing with you through these posts. On the last day, the last thing I did was lay before God the reasons I felt the way I did. There is a difference between acknowledging the emotion and knowing why we feel what we are feeling.

“Lord, perhaps what would help my sagging spirits is to confess to you all that is making me sad. I am sad...”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

I went on to tell Jesus, exactly what I was grieving over: my marriage, my family, relationships, being alone, my imperfections…the list went on. I ended that section with this.

Image by Christine Engelhardt from Pixabay

“So, I bring it all to You. The desires, the sadness, the disappointment. I bring it to You, and I choose to wait on You. I don’t know what to look for - a miracle? A rescue? A ta da moment? Whatever it is I trust You to bring it about. In the mean time I lean into Your strength and Your courage.””

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

However, I did not stop there.

“Now I need to give thanks.

I thank You, that the darkness and the light are the same to You.

Thank You, that as You hovered over the darkness of the deep at the beginning of Creation - You are here in my darkness - hovering over, beneath, beside and through.

Thank You, that while I do not have a friend right now to talk to or hang out with, I do have You.

Thank You, that You have shown Yourself to me since I was very young.

Thank You, that no matter what others say, You call me beloved!

Thank You, that I am not condemned, because I am in Christ Jesus.

Thank You, that as I choose to wait on You, You give me strength and courage. ”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

There was more on that list, and when I finished thanking God, I felt Him say to me, “You done good, now rest.”

Did I feel better? Not really, but I felt as though I had wrestled and wrangled. I wouldn’t realize the sword of the Almighty had pierced me until the next day. I’ll share that next week.

Until then, be thankful. God truly uses all things for our good.

When Darkness Comes - Part 8: When Feelings and Truth Meet

This series is long, but I don’t want to skim these ideas. God and His word are so incredibly complex and beautiful. We do ourselves an injustice when we do not truly understand, and believe, what He is trying to say to us. Remember at the very beginning of this series, I talked about how God created the darkness? Remember how I shared that the darkness was made for our benefit; for rest; for growth? The same is true of the darkness we are walking through. No matter what the darkness is, even those things that the devil meant for our destruction, God can and will use to make us into His perfect and beautiful children. There is one thing we must do…be willing to let Him pierce us. In the same way the nails pierced the gentle hands, and the sword pierced the side of our Messiah, we share in His sufferings when we let God pierce our hearts with His truth. It is by sharing in His sufferings that we receive our greatest comfort.

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“For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.”

— 2 Corinthians 1:5 (NASB)

Last week I focused on the need for expressing and acknowledging our emotions during these times of darkness. God is not a weakling. He can handle anything we throw at Him, whether it be sadness, horror, anger, jealously, despair, anxiety and more. It is obvious when reading through the scriptures, ever since our initial creation and subsequent fall to sin, God spoke His truth to the writers in order to bring us comfort, peace, joy, courage and the ability to express our innermost thoughts without fear of retribution.

David and the writers of the Psalms, as well as Job, Jeremiah, Solomon and others filled pages of scripture with emotional musings.

“Why are you in despair, my soul? And why are you restless within me? Wait for God, for I will again praise Him For the help of His presence, my God.”

— Psalm 43:5 (NASB)

“How long am I to feel anxious in my soul, With grief in my heart all the day? How long will my enemy be exalted over me?”

— Psalm 13:2 (NASB)

“I am disgusted with my own life; I will express my complaint freely; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.”

— Job 10:1 (NASB)

“My sorrow is beyond healing, My heart is faint within me!”

— Jeremiah 8:18 (NASB)

“Why did I ever come out of the womb To look at trouble and sorrow, So that my days have been spent in shame?”

— Jeremiah 20:18 (NASB)

“Do not be eager in your spirit to be angry, For anger resides in the heart of fools.”

— Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NASB)

“Say to those with anxious heart, “Take courage, fear not. Behold, your God will come with vengeance; The retribution of God will come, But He will save you.””

— Isaiah 35:4 (NASB)

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Truth growth in the Christian’s life most often happens when God’s truth meets the raw edges of our intense emotions. When we take His word and apply it to our feelings, and our circumstances His light permeates our darkest dark.

“For the word of God is living and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, even penetrating as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

— Hebrews 4:12 (NASB)

When I am struggling in the dark, I am often unsure, confused and overwhelmed. With God there is no confusion. With His word, His truth, revealed by His Holy Spirit there is only surety and purity. This makes all the difference when we are struggling.

Once again, let me share my own journey. Once I acknowledged my despair and sadness to the Father, He brought me back to two particular scriptures: Psalm 16:11 and Psalm 27:14. For this particular post I will expand only on the second.

“Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.”

— Psalm 27:14 (NASB)

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

“Waiting has always been hard. Waiting for the salvation of our loved ones who are not walking with You; waiting for a diagnosis and treatment for our daughter; waiting for the birth of our second grandson...but perhaps I am missing the point. The verse doesn’t emphasize WHAT we are waiting for, but WHO...You!

While we are waiting we are to be doing two things -
1 - Be strong - perhaps this is where I am struggling the most. I have often thought of myself as fairly strong - all the crazy stuff Mark and I have gone through - but perhaps, I am not really very strong.

I obviously get upset and emotional when, if I had been leaning on You, I would have had the strength I needed. I have been guilty of wanting my strength to come from others, but there are other scriptures like Ephesians 6:10.

Before Paul launched into the armor of God He says, ‘Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.’
It doesn’t say, ‘Be strong in your spouse, be strong in your church, be strong in your own strength - it says be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/24/21

From this point, I looked at a cross reference from Ephesians 6:10 to Ephesians 1:19, but I looked at it within the context of Ephesians 1:18-23. To keep this from getting to long, feel free to click on the link, or grab your Bible and take a look at this passage. It is worth while, to truly understand what that phrase, “…in the strength of His might,” encompasses.

Image by Sabine Mondestin from Pixabay

“The strength of His might was brought about when He raised Jesus from the dead and placed Him on His right hand in the heavenly places, and gave Him (Jesus) power, rule, authority and dominion over all.

SO...when it says I am to be strong in the strength of His might it is telling me I do not have to be strong in my strength or power. NO! I am to be strong in the same might that raised Jesus from the dead; not only from the dead, but to His position over all.

2 - Take Courage - The second thing I am to do is take courage (mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty). When looking up the meaning of this word, it seems that courage, or taking it up refers to a cause. What is the reason I have to be courageous; or from whom do I get my courage. It is from the Lord Jesus Christ.

The end result is that as I am waiting on the Lord, He will be my strength and my courage. I am not alone in this.

Thank you Father, Son and Holy Spirit.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/24/21

When God’s word pierces me it is as though I enter into a layer of God I never understood before. I have read through the Bible multiple times over my life as a believer, but I stand amazed at how His Spirit stabs straight to the heart, changing my perspective and my understanding when I am truly open to His teaching. More often than not, this happens when I am walking in the dark.

Don’t be afraid to wrestle with God. Don’t be afraid to search His word and pray the eyes of your heart will be open. Allow Him to pierce you through to the heart.

Next week we will look at the role of thanksgiving in the dark. Have a great weekend!

Our Unseen Enemy - Part 4: The Liar - Lies About Ourselves

Last week we saw how Satan uses lies about God to manipulate our feelings and beliefs towards Him. I showed you specifically lies about the earth’s origin, God’s goodness, God’s authority and God’s desire to have an intimate relationship with us. There are many more lies that Satan weaves about our sovereign God, but I only want to spend one week on each of these areas.

Today we are going to look at lies Satan tells us about ourselves. Have you ever noticed that voice that whispers in your ear, telling you, you aren’t pretty enough, smart enough, good enough and so on. Have you ever felt that your rights are being infringed upon, that you deserve better or that you are not being treated fairly? I believe most of us could say yes to at least a few of those questions, if not all.

Let’s look at a few of the lies Satan tells us. Be prepared for a multiplicity of opposing messages.

I am Not That Bad

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Aside from our struggles with self-worth I think many of us like to think, we really aren’t that bad. But, what does God’s word say about us?

“23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

— Romans 3:23 (ESV)

“6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.”

— Romans 5:6 (ESV)

“ 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

— Romans 5:8 (ESV)

“23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

— Romans 6:23 (ESV)

We really are a hot mess aren’t we? We are sinners. This is a word we rarely see in our society and one that is preached on less and less in the church. We are sinful. We have missed the mark of perfection that God ordained from the first day of creation, because Adam and Eve chose to listen to that beautiful, beguiling serpent.

No matter how good you are, you are not good enough. That doesn’t mean we aren’t capable of doing good things, of serving others, of donating money, of helping those who are not able to help themselves, but that does not make us good enough for heaven.

“8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;
9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

— Ephesians 2:8-9 (NASB)

This is an important tenant of the Christian faith. Look at that verse again. What was Satan’s biggest sin? Pride. If he had never been prideful, consumed with his beauty and desirous of God’s position, he probably would still be in heaven. Pride, is an insidious sin. It reaches its tendrils deep into our hearts. Why is salvation a gift of God? Because he knew our capacity for pride. Humility is key to entering the Kingdom of God. Remember the Rich Young Ruler? (See Matthew 19:16-26 for the full story) How many will be kept away from the streets of gold, by Satan’s lie, that they really aren’t that bad?

I am Not Enough

Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay

Is it any wonder we feel confused all of the time? When we listen to Satan’s lies, we hear messages like the first, telling us we aren’t that bad, we are all going to get into heaven in the end. On the other hand he is constantly telling us, “You are a loser, a failure and you are never going to measure up.”

Our enemy is quite proficient at making us feel like we don’t quite hit the mark. We are constantly being bombarded by these messages through social media, movies, books, advertising and so on. Believe me, even in the blogosphere there is a great temptation to compare ourselves to each other. I fall easily into the message that I am not as pretty as, as thin as, or as productive as. When we hear these voices (or more specifically, our enemy’s voice) in our head we need to go to scripture and see what God says about us.

Yes, we have already established that we are sinners and nothing we can do will measure up to God’s perfection, yet, there is something we can do. We can acknowledge Christ as our Lord and Savior. It is by His perfect sacrifice and His spilt blood that we come to realize our worth in God’s eyes.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

— Romans 8:1 (ESV)

If we are Christ followers, then Satan’s words are useless against us, as long as we claim truth. I have done a study on Romans 8 and if you remember verse 1 is one of my favorites. Every time, I hear those thoughts in my head that say, “You are an idiot; What a failure; You’ll never amount to anything,” I take that verse and I wield it like a sword. No one can condemn me, because I AM HIS! His blood made me enough, no matter what anyone else says or thinks.

I Deserve This

Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay

Being a wife and mother, as you have no doubt heard, is a thankless job. One of the lies that Satan loves to taunt us with is the idea that I deserve something. How many times have you felt let down because your husband didn’t notice your new hair cut, or remember your birthday or anniversary? How often did your kids neglect to say thank you or acknowledge all that you have done to make their lives easier? How did it make you feel when that friend who said they’d meet you for lunch, never showed up? It definitely makes a person feel invisible. I know, because I have been there.

During these times, it is easy to listen to Satan’s voice telling us we deserve to be angry, feel slighted or discouraged because of the way others have treated us. In addition, we often feel, that because we have been wounded we deserve to treat ourselves whether it be to a shopping trip or a pint of ice cream. Unfortunately, the only thing that listening to Satan’s lies gets us is a bad attitude, bills and extra pounds.

Our best defense is to be on the offense. Recognize that your spouse, kids, friends and others who have let you down are human, just like you. We will look more at that when we look at Satan’s lies about others. The best thing to do when we are feeling like we deserve something is to take those feelings to our Lord and let Him examine them. Are they feelings brought about by a success or an accomplishment? By all means treat yourself, but if they are feelings brought about by pain and discouragement there is only one place to feel fulfilled and at peace. At the nail pierced feet of our Lord, Jesus.

Read the whole of Psalm 139 for a reminder, that God knows you inside and out and He is always attentive to your feelings.

“23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!”

— Psalm 139:23-24 (ESV)

I Have a Right

Image by skeeze from Pixabay

The desire for rights is innate in us. We want things to be fair. We want to be treated with respect and dignity and want that all people are treated that way; at least we say we do, until our rights are infringed upon.

I do believe there is a place for rights in our world, but I also believe that what God intended as a preservation for those who were and are afflicted and needy has become the war cry of anyone who wants to get their way. Look at all the law suits that have gone to court over attempts at misplaced rights. How much money did McDonalds have to pay to compensate the customer who spilled coffee on themselves and sued the retailer because she got burned? I’m sorry, but if I am buying a cup of coffee at McDonalds, I want it to be hot. If I spilled scalding coffee on myself, I would automatically think, “What a klutz I am,” and then go home and nurse my wounds. I would have never thought that my rights had been infringed because the retailer gave me exactly what I asked for.

The problem with a rights based mentality is that everything that does not measure up to your standard suddenly becomes about your rights. How many of the riots that happened over the last few months were truly about rights? How much of the violence that ensued at many of them were instigated by people who had nothing at all invested in the protest? Please don’t get me wrong. I believe racial, and economic disparities need to be investigated and changed, but in a true rights oriented society rights are for the good of the whole society, not just one particular person or group.

Satan will use whatever means it takes to create division, hatred, lust and covetousness among us all. He knows that these things will be our undoing and undoing is exactly what he wants.

Martin Luther King, Jr. is probably one of the first people we think of when we think of human rights in our country. He was a man of spiritual depth and wisdom. Read the following quotes.

“Property is intended to serve life, and no matter how much we surround it with rights and respect, it has no personal being. It is part of the earth man walks on. It is not man.”

— Martin Luther King, Jr.

“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.”

— Martin Luther King, Jr.

“The limitation of riots, moral questions aside, is that they cannot win and their participants know it. Hence, rioting is not revolutionary but reactionary because it invites defeat. It involves an emotional catharsis, but it must be followed by a sense of futility.”

— Martin Luther King, Jr.

“We are not makers of history. We are made by history.”

— Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.”

— Martin Luther King, Jr.

“People fail to get along because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don’t know each other; they don’t know each other because they have not communicated with each other.”

— Martin Luther King, Jr.

“In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force”

— Martin Luther King, Jr.

There are many more tidbits of wisdom from this man. Being a black man at the time, he completely understood the gaping crevice caused by the disparity between blacks and whites, but he also understood that the way to bring about change was not through hatred. Demanding our rights through anger, violence and force is a plot of the enemy, to be sure, both for those who are angry and for those who are fearful.

I Shouldn’t have to Feel Pain

Image by Stefan Keller from Pixabay

Perhaps one of the most detrimental lies the enemy dangles in front of our faces is that we shouldn’t have to feel pain, have things go wrong or live without pleasure. I am lumping this all together, because so often pain and pleasure go hand in hand.

God created a perfect world; a world without pain or suffering, but Adam and Eve’s choice to eat from the tree God had told them not too, ushered in a lifetime of generations of pain, sorrow and hardship, most of which are directly related back to sin. Childbirth, as most women who have had children naturally know, is painful. Kidney stones are painful. Surgery, cuts, headaches, achy joints and aging can all be painful. The amount of money, time and effort that our world spends trying to deal with pain is overwhelming and the ramifications of the desire to live without pain is evident in the catastrophic use of pain meds, psych meds and related therapies that cost millions of dollars every year. Many of these drugs lead to permanent addictions, that are extremely hard to pull out of and cost millions more to pay for different drugs, counseling and therapies.

In addition our society is consumed with pleasure. The desire to feel good all the time has become a way of life that eats away at our time, our pocketbooks and our very souls. Pleasure seeking and its related pursuits also results in many forms of addiction and bondage from eating disorders and drug use, to pornography and human trafficking.

Satan would like us to think that we shouldn’t have to deal with pain or that gnawing sense of emptiness. His lies tempt us to believe that people, or things, drugs or drink, sex or perversion will assuage the numbness that becomes our death companion when we are alone. People do not want to be alone and they don’t want it to be silent, or they will remember they are not fulfilled or happy.

“Man is also rebuked with pain on his bed and with continual strife in his bones,”

— Job 33:19 (ESV)

“For I am ready to fall, and my pain is ever before me.”

— Psalm 38:17 (ESV)

“But I am afflicted and in pain; let your salvation, O God, set me on high!”

— Psalm 69:29 (ESV)

“Why do you cry out over your hurt? Your pain is incurable. Because your guilt is great, because your sins are flagrant, I have done these things to you.”

— Jeremiah 30:15 (ESV)

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.””

— Revelation 21:4 (ESV)

Pain is a reality and the yearning we feel that often goes unfulfilled is the imprint of God on our hearts. He was, is and always will be the One who was meant to fill all of your longings.

Satan is lying to us about God and he is lying to us about ourselves. He uses our desire to be “somebody”, our desire to get what we think we deserve, our demand to have our rights fulfilled, and our desire to not feel pain, but only pleasure, to control us. The freedoms we as people are yelling about have become the shackles binding our hearts and our minds. He has us bound and has thrown away the key.

But, there is good news. Someone has a copy of the key and He can release us from these binds.

I hope you are encouraged in your walk with Jesus through this study we have been doing on our

Be Encouraged! Remembering God.

I am really struggling with so many different things, that I am not sure what to write about. Being a faith based blogger means that many people will simply overlook my blog, because they have no interest in anything having to do with religion. I can understand that, because my husband watches a plethora of YouTube videos on survival, boxing and other “manly” types of topics. He has no interest in fashion, so why would he stop and read a fashion blog. The same is true for faith based topics. Why would a person stop to read a chapter in the Bible when they have no interest in what is written there? Why would a person read a cook book, who could care less about learning how to cook?

Image by James Lee from Pixabay

As Christians, I think a lot of us are struggling with how to respond to the goings on in our world right now. I know I am. How do I instill courage when we are faced with people dying from a virus that we still know so little about? How do I know the difference between what is real news and what is made up just to get a reaction? How do I talk about race and injustice, when what I say might be taken as racist or unjust? These are all questions I have asked myself over the last few months.

I know I am just a small blog with only about 250 subscribers. I don’t do much with affiliates and retailers to promote products and make money. Sure making money would be great, but the purpose of my blog has never been about making money. The purpose was to encourage. I think we all could use a big dose of encouragement right about now. I realize I won’t reach a lot of people and that is okay, but maybe I can reach you. Maybe you need to hear something I am going to say today, or maybe this is just God’s way of enabling me to cope.

What do I do when I am upset? I write. Here are a few things I know I need to hear right now, and maybe you do too.

God is in control.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

This may seem a bit unsettling to you. You might be thinking, well, if He is in control then why is there so much bad stuff going on? However, the facts are this, God is bigger than all of us and all that is going on. He is the Creator. He formed the world from nothing and spoke with just a few words the entirety of the natural world. When he was finished with all of that, He decided the natural world needed a caretaker and He created man and woman out of dust. Yes, you heard that right, dust. After they were formed into what we now know as our human bodies, He breathed life into them. Just a simple breath gave us life. If you think an almighty being like that doesn’t have this all figured out already…well, you have a few things to learn.

“29 Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.
30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
31 So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.”

— Matthew 10:29-31 (NASB)

You are known.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

It is very easy to forget this in the bumbling chaos that we call life. When you are young, you have your whole life ahead of you, with countless opportunities. When you become an adult maybe you decide to marry and have children and you suddenly have more to worry about than just yourself. Life becomes a tangled dance of crazy schedules, conflict, and unmet expectations. The things you might have learned as a child, somehow, disappear along the way and you suddenly feel like you are handling all of this alone, and you have forgotten who you are, but God knows you. He has been there from the moment you were conceived. In fact the psalmist states,

“Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.”

— Psalm 139:16 (NASB)

God doesn’t get weary.

Image by Hebi B. from Pixabay 

I don’t know about you, but I am tired; tired of reading and hearing about the virus; tired of hearing people argue about politics and social issues; tired of having to be careful everywhere we go; tired of not being able to go see our extended family or get together with friends. I may be tired, but the one who holds my hand and hems me in behind and before, is not.

“ 28 Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.”

— Isaiah 40:28-31 (ESV)

God is always present.

Image by Sarah Richter from Pixabay

God is always with us. He doesn’t wander off to get a drink, or take a nap, or go do His laundry. He is a being that is both eternal and omnipresent. He is not confined by space or time, nor influenced by the mistakes of the past or the foreboding of the future. He is constant and His presence is with us both continually and continuously.

“9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.””

— Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

The above verse is one of my favorites. I love that God reminds Joshua ( and us), that it is a command to be strong and courageous. We are also commanded to not be frightened or dismayed. The word dismay means to lose our courage. God then gives us the reason we are not to be fearful or lack courage, but strong and courageous, because He is with us wherever we go.

“17 The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.”

— Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV)

The following quote is from My Utmost for His Highest:

“Having the reality of God’s presence is not dependent on our being in a particular circumstance or place, but is only dependent on our determination to keep the Lord before us continually. Our problems arise when we refuse to place our trust in the reality of His presence.”

— Oswald Chambers - My Utmost for His Highest - July 20

If we do not believe in the reality of His presence, we will never know that His is present.

God doesn’t change.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I am often in need of hearing this. With life all around us rapidly shifting and changing, it is good to know that He is a constant in our lives. Our God isn’t changed by pandemics, natural disasters, social unrest, war, political elections or upheaval.

“8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”

— Hebrews 13:8 (NASB)

“19 God will hear and answer them—
Even the one who sits enthroned from of old— Selah.
With whom there is no change,
And who do not fear God.”

— Psalm 55:19 (NASB)

“14 “And to Him was given dominion,
Glory and a kingdom,
That all the peoples, nations and men of every language
Might serve Him.
His dominion is an everlasting dominion
Which will not pass away;
And His kingdom is one
Which will not be destroyed.”

— Daniel 7:14 (NASB)

I hope that these verses have reminded you of how loved you are and that by following Christ, you are standing on a foundation that is unshakable.

Thanks for taking a few minutes to stop by the blog. Have a good day. Keep laughing and keep looking up.

From Suffering to Glory

We’ve been walking through Romans chapter 8 at a turtle’s pace. I think going through a passage of Scripture, or a single verse at a slow pace, can really help us to learn, understand and make the knowledge God wants to impart to us, so much more impactful, than if we race through, like the hare, in the infamous race.

Image by Capri23auto from Pixabay

Last week we only got through verse 16 of the chapter, but it was time well spent. We learned the Spirit of God, speaks to our spirit, a part of us God the Father created us with for the purpose of having communion with Him. If we have not given our lives over to Christ, the spirit God created us with will not thrive and grow, and will definitely not be able to know the things of God.

Let’s delve into verse 17.

“ 17 and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.”

— Romans 8:17 (NASB)

Last week we learned the Spirit of God testifies with our spirit we are children of God. This week we go the next step.

…and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ…

We are not just children of God, we are heirs. What does it mean to be an heir? Let’s take a look at how Webster’s Online Dictionary defines heir.

1 - one who receives property from an ancestor : one who is entitled to inherit property

2 - one who inherits or is entitled to succeed to a hereditary rank, title, or office

3 - one who receives or is entitled to receive something other than property from a parent or predecessor

All three of these definitions give us insight to our position in Christ as God’s children. Because we have taken on the name of Christ and been washed in His blood, we are now entitled to everything that He makes available to His own Son. We have access to His power, His authority and His perfection. In reality we are extremely limited by our flesh and by the darkness that surrounds us on this earth, but I honestly believe if we had the faith of a mustard seed, like Christ talks about in the gospels, we would be able to do amazing things.

Image by GOKALP ISCAN from Pixabay

It is important to remember that much of what goes on in the Christian life is in the spiritual realm. We can see the results of prayer in this earthly realm, but that doesn’t mean if we don’t see results that nothing is happening. It is possible when we are praying in His Spirit we are fighting battles and giants much bigger anything we can imagine. Believe me, I can imagine some pretty big stuff. Ha, ha. So when I say we have access to power, we do not become like Superman and have the ability to fly. Christ didn’t fly when He was a man, although He could have. What we do have, is the power of Christ to bring down strongholds and forces of darkness.

Image by Stefan Keller from Pixabay

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.”

— Ephesians 6:12 (NASB)

Not only do we have access to Christ’s power, perfection and authority, we are heirs to an eternal kingdom. We really are children of the King. You are a princess and no matter your opinion on Disney, a princess you are and you might as well accept the fact.

Image by Helmut H. Kroiss from Pixabay

…if indeed we suffer with Him, so that we may also be glorified with Him…

What exactly does it mean to “suffer with Him.” We have not been scourged, beaten or nailed to a tree, so how is it that we suffer with Christ? When Paul wrote this to the believers in Rome it was during a time in which the early church was beginning to endure persecution and suffering. In the same way, today, many churches and believers all over the world deal with persecution and struggle for the sake of Christ. Even in our own country we are beginning to feel the pangs of trying to live for and lift up the name of Jesus.

I don’t know about you, but there are times, when I really feel as though our invisible enemy, who is very real in the spiritual realm, is after me and my family. I am sure many of you have felt that same pressure or oppression from the enemy. Whether, he is actively involved in the things we struggle with or numbers of his minions are, I am sure there are times we are being toyed with. God will not allow Satan to kill us, but there are times He allows that influx of enemy fire, both for our own growth and for the glory of His kingdom. This is part of the suffering we go through. Even His own Son, Jesus was lead into the wilderness by the Spirit to be tempted by the devil (Matthew 4:1).

Image by AD_Images from Pixabay

What is the point of all this suffering and struggle? “…that we may also be glorified with HIm.” When Christ rose from the dead and ascended into heaven to sit at the Father’s right hand, He was glorified. In the same way, when we die, our bodies will decay, but our spirits in union with His Spirit will ascend into heaven, where we will be with Him forever. It would be lovely if we had the glory here in this life, but that is not the goal. The goal is to honor and glorify Him, then when we are done, He will glorify us, bringing us home and giving us a place at His table as His children and heirs.

I hope you enjoyed delving into Romans 8:17 today. Be sure to check back next week for a look at the next few verses. Thanks so much for following along.

Have a great day.



Lessons from Loss

I’ve decided to take another week off, before getting back to my series on Godly traits. On Monday my daughter texted me that a woman from our former church had died unexpectedly. I was in shock. Mary was only a few years older than me. She had five grown children, a devoted husband and her first grandchild, a girl, whom she adored. She was dearly loved, not only by her immediate family, but by siblings and church family and friends. What really floored me, and many others, was the fact that last summer Mary had gone into the hospital with a lung infection. After months in the hospital and rehab, she seemed to get better. She got to go home and resume a somewhat normal life. Not long after life started having some semblance of normalcy, Mary lost her sister to cancer, this was just last month. Last week, Mary ended up, back in the hospital and Monday morning she died.

Sweeny family. Mary is in the middle with her husband Paul. My daughter took these pictures this past spring. Photo credit Rebecca Trumbull.

I felt myself questioning God. Why, Lord? Why? This was a beautiful woman; one of your sheep, who loved and gave and was gracious. She was a beautiful soul, inside and out. She loved her family and took others in as if they were part of the family. She exuded the peace that passes all understanding and I would often see her posting quotes from Ann VosKamp’s One Thousand Gifts on being thankful. The funny thing was, I didn’t really know Mary that well. We moved in different circles as our kids were growing up and while we went to the same church, we weren’t able to spend vast amounts of time together. However, I still feel this loss. It is as if in a galaxy full of stars, Mary’s shown so brightly, that the burning out of that star affected the whole universe.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I am not sharing this with you to look for sympathy. This was a tragic and unexpected loss, but what I wanted to do was use these musings as a branch from which to tie a rope, take a leap, swing out and fall into the river of God’s grace.

How do we deal with these things? How do we get past the shaking of the fist towards the sky, to the questioning why, to the acceptance, to the choice to believe that He is good, no matter what, to the final step of lifting our hands in praise, adoration and thanksgiving? Two words come to mind which I have used on the blog before, baby steps.

Image by Barbara Jackson from Pixabay

A baby does not learn to walk immediately. It is a process. They reach, they scoot, they rock, they roll, they crawl, they grab, they pull themselves up, they move around the furniture and eventually they let go and take those first steps. Those first steps aren’t perfect, but they are full of enthusiasm. When we are new in our relationship with Christ we are full of enthusiasm. We want to tell the world what He has done, not only for us as individuals, but for the whole world. We want to share the good news that Jesus loves the unlovely, rescues the drowning, lifts up the cripple and fully redeems that which was completely lost.

Then life happens. We experience disappointment, pain, heartbreak and loss. If we are being honest with ourselves we do not like these things and many of us probably thought when we came to Christ that it was going to be smooth sailing. How very wrong we were. If anything, it seems, at least for some, that we are being shot at by the biggest guns available on a US battleship. Worse yet, we might be getting hammered by friendly fire, while well intended, completely misses the mark and wounds us instead of helping us out.

So how do we approach loss without losing our faith? How do we endure pain without giving up hope? How do we continue to walk when we are clearly wounded and would rather lay down and die?

One baby step at a time.

Baby Step 1 - Shaking fists and questions.

Image by Niek Verlaan from Pixabay

God is much bigger than we are. He created us and He knows our frame is but dust. As the Creator he manipulated that dust, breathing life into it. Don’t ever think, He doesn’t get it. He most certainly knows our weaknesses, our pit falls and our innermost feelings. You might not be literally shaking your fist at Him, but He knows what you are thinking on the inside. Sometimes it is okay to get mad, to raise our hands, not in praise, but in frustration, anger and pain. The key is to not stay there. It is okay to say:

I don’t get it.

It’s not fair.

Why? Why? Why?

I don’t like you right now?

It hurts and you let it happen.

That is exactly how I felt about Mary’s death. She was a vibrant woman and God let her die. I couldn’t help thinking, there are thousands of others, suffering with debilitating illnesses, pain and complete loss of ability to remember their own families or even how to use the bathroom. Why not take one of them? Why not relieve someone else of their burden? But He didn’t. He took Mary.

It felt wrong to have those thoughts and feelings, but they are real, visceral, but real and doesn’t God know that? He gave His own Son to suffer and die. He knows loss. He knows pain. Jesus knows loneliness and abandonment.

This is an absolutely acceptable part of grief. Whether your loss is the death of a loved one, an unfaithful partner, a divorce, a rebellious child, a parent going through Alzheimers, or the loss of a long time job, it is okay to feel anger, and it is okay to question why.

Baby Step 2 - Wear the blanket.

Image by Katrina_S from Pixabay

When my father died back in 2006, I distinctly remember walking in a fog. Life just seemed rather cloudy and my brain felt full of cotton. Often when we grieve we think that the best thing for us is to throw ourselves back into life, subduing the overwhelming sense of loss to a dull ache. In most cultures the process of grief is much more elaborate and loud.

In 1985 I spent a summer in Africa. During that time, I got to experience a true death wail. It was unnerving as a group, of mostly women, wept and wailed and cried over a baby who had tragically passed away. This was no reserved whispered ceremony. This was a loud progression of frenzied sobs and tears. They let their expression of the sadness they felt erupt into the still, dark night, like a mass of molten lava pouring out of a volcano.

While I do not expect that, here in our US of A, we are going to start doing a death wail, it is good to allow ourselves to feel grief. I truly believe wrapping yourself up in the blanket of grief every once in a while, helps you to heal faster. If putting on a real blanket helps with the symbolism, go ahead. However, you do it, take some time to feel the sadness and the pain. Cry, sob, moan and even wail. It’s okay. Then when you feel a bit of relief, put the blanket away and go live life. Eventually, you will find, you don’t need that blanket quite so often. Eventually, you will be able to put it away, all together.

Baby Step 3 - Choices.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

The best way to handle making choices during a time of grief is to choose slowly and thoughtfully. Don’t rashly give up your faith. Don’t decide to sell everything you have, join a commune and move to Tibet. Don’t start drinking. Don’t obsess on your loss. The greatest mistake we make when we are in the throes of grief is to think we are okay and we can handle this on our own. It is important to choose to take care of ourselves and to allow people to take care of us. We were not meant to be islands. We are supposed to live in community with others. In fact you might find there are others who have already been through the grief process before you. They can help, if you let them .

In addition, choose truth. Often we question whether God really loves us when someone or something has been taken away from us, but if we keep our eyes on scripture we will remember verses like:

“The Lord appeared to him from afar, saying, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness.”

— Jeremiah 31:3 (NASB)

“nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

— Romans 8:39 (NASB)

“Finally, brethren, rejoice, be made complete, be comforted, be like-minded, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.”

— 2 Corinthians 13:11 (NASB)

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,”

— Ephesians 2:4 (NASB)

God does love us and He always will. He will always be there for us, even in the midst of trial and grief.

Baby Step 4 - Take Action

Image by Olya Adamovich from Pixabay

Once we have worked through the emotions of anger, pain and sadness we can begin to, once again, take action. Action might start out with something simple like getting out of bed, taking a shower and getting dressed. Eventually, you might be able to go out and take a walk or meet a friend for coffee. Down the road, you may make it to church and then out to do something fun again. Your loved ones would not want you to stop living life. Besides it is in the choice to start living again, that God reveals His most precious and magnificent promises.

After I found out Mary was gone, I knew my sadness and shock was not as sharp as the edge on the sword her family was and is feeling right now, but I also felt that God had let me down. I prayed for Mary’s healing and He didn’t come through. That evening, my husband and I took a walk. I looked up at the expanse of night sky and heard His voice saying, “I’m still right here.”

Wow! That was just what I needed to hear. He is still right there and He always will be. He is there for us to lean on, pound on and depend on no matter what and knowing that is sometimes all we need. When I realize He is really all I need to get through, I am able to raise my hands in praise to Him and I can start remembering what I am thankful for.

My friend Mary was a Christian. She is with Jesus now. She is also with her mom and her sister who went before her. She left behind a legacy of love, and friendship for her family and her friends. The world is a more beautiful place because of her and I can be thankful that I knew her.

On Focus, and Ignorance, During Hard Times

I decided to take a break from the Traits of a Godly Person series for this week. There are so many things going on in our world, and I often wonder should I talk about some of the more difficult issues. I like my blog to be a place of encouragement, whether it is to dress better or to grow in your walk with Christ. However, there are people out there, some of whom might be following my blog, that need a different kind of encouragement.

Life really can be stinking hard! Relationships are complex and often the source of our deepest and darkest pain. More often than not, people who are going through great difficulty do not feel at liberty to talk about the situations they are facing, which means, they are not getting any support or encouragement. People who are going through great loss, also, don’t always feel free to talk about their grief and pain. I’m not really sure, how we got to this point. Why is it that we are afraid to let people know that we are not okay? Why do we hide our pain behind a smile and tell everyone who asks that we are doing fine? Maybe it has to do with not being able to express the deep pain and sadness we feel. Perhaps we are afraid that others will think less of us, if we show them our reality. Maybe we are just too dang tired from trying to cope, that we’d rather not put in the effort to explain all that is going on.

Image by lisa runnels from Pixabay

I think there is something much deeper and darker going on when we are struggling. Obviously, I believe in a real God and a real devil. I believe that Satan is our enemy and he is out to kill and destroy.

“Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

— 1 Peter 5:8 (NASB)

Image by steffenwienberg from Pixabay

Our enemy is compared to a roaring lion. Why do you suppose Peter used the idea of a roaring lion, rather than that of a snake or some other creature? Obviously, lions are creatures to be respected. A lion can easily kill a man along with a host of wild creatures. Peter didn’t just make the comparison of the devil to a lion, but to a roaring lion. There is significance in the roar. Roaring commonly means, “This is my territory. Don’t get anywhere near.” Isn’t that interesting? Our enemy isn’t just trying to trip us up, he is trying to make us his own. He wants to claim us as his territory.

There are two problems that come up when we are going through difficulty that really affect our next step and our way of thinking. The first is our own focus. It is incredibly easy to focus on our pain. It is, our pain. The struggle is our struggle. Why wouldn’t we focus on it? This is made even harder when there is pain, illness, anxiety and broken relationships. Job loss is hard, but add to that a divorce and a persistent gall bladder problem and you are probably going to be feeling pretty overwhelmed.

“Let your eyes look directly ahead
And let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you.”

— Proverbs 4:25 (NASB)

Why is our focus so important? When you are walking you need to watch where you are going. This is especially important if you are walking on a narrow road, a path along a steep gorge or across a Lego filled living room. in those situations, it might be important to not be looking at your cell phone, reading a book or closing your eyes. This is also true when we are driving. The need for this straight forward, pay attention routine is even more important when things are getting chaotic, such as heavy traffic or passing pedestrians or bikers.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

When we are going through the hard bits of life, or even through the longer pits of life, we need to keep our eyes on our Savior. In fact it is even more important to focus on Him when we are faced with difficulty. I have been reading, Abide in Christ, by Andrew Murray. I started this book a while back, got about half way through and got busy, so put it aside. When I picked it up a week ago, I decided to start again at the beginning. There is so much good stuff in this book. Read these two quotes:

“It is not the yoke, but the resistance to the yoke, that makes the difficulty; the whole hearted surrender to Jesus, as at once our Master and Keeper, finds and secures the rest.”

— Abide in Christ - Andrew Murray - Chapter 2

Remember how Christ tells us if we are weary and heavy laden we should come to Him.

“28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

— Matthew 11:28-29 (NASB)

Murray was referring to these verses when he was talking about the rest that is secured in Christ. Now look at this next piece from the same chapter in Murray’s book.

“With this grace secured, we have strength for every duty, courage for every struggle, a blessing in every cross and the joy of life eternal in death itself.”

— Abide in Christ - Andrew Murray - Chapter 2

Christ is to be our focus. Come hell or high water, this Warrior Prince named Jesus, has our back for every duty, every struggle and every cross we have to bear in this life. All you have to do is come to Him and believe He will do it.

The other problem that arises when people are going through hard times is the ignorance of those around them. How many of you have been struggling with a situation, only to have a friend give you advice on how to solve your problem? How did that make you feel? If you are like me, when I was going through a very difficult time in my life, the last thing I wanted was advice. What I really wanted was an arm around my shoulders, a friend who would pray with me, not tell me they would pray for me, a sincere hug and two listening ears.

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

My dear friends, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to keep your mouth shut and refrain from giving advice when someone close to you is going through a hard time. Give hugs, give time, bring food, pray with them, listen to them. If they ask you for advice, then and only then, open your mouth and be sure you are speaking from the Lord, not from your own large vat of worldly knowledge. In addition to that, sincerely, truly and intensely pray for that person. You will not know all the details and that is okay. God’s bigger than you and will work it out. Just pray.

“He who despises his neighbor lacks sense, But a man of understanding keeps silent.”

— Proverbs 11:12 (NASB)

“Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.”

— Proverbs 17:28 (NASB)

Life is difficult. Some of you are going through things that you never thought you would have to go through. Don’t give up. Keep you eyes fixed on the author and perfecter or our faith. And for those of you who are watching a friend or loved one suffer, don’t give up on them either. Pray, for and with. Love, help and even just sit in silence with them. For all of us, let’s remember this:

“Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him For the help of His presence.”

— Psalm 42:5 (NASB)