Walking with the Psalmist

When we take the time to look at the Psalms we can learn much about human behavior and about God. It is not my intent to look at every single Psalm, but pick and choose ones that have been meaningful to me in my walk with Christ. I grew up in a Christian home and made a commitment to Christ when I was twelve. Ever since I can remember, the Psalms were important to me. I have often felt that they enable the reader to see inside another human being and experience their emotions. While my spouse likes to jokingly call David, an emotional yoyo, many of the Psalms he penned were ones filled with the raw emotion of fear, guilt, anger and joy. 

In Psalm 1 we saw the comparison of the righteous man with the wicked. Today I would like to explore Psalm 8. This Psalm is titled, The Lord's Glory and Man's Dignity. It seems an appropriate header for a song that begins with the line, "O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Thy name in all the earth..." (NASB) I thought this a beautiful Psalm to usher in the season of Spring and the coming of Easter. 

“O Lord, our Lord,
How majestic is Your name in all the earth,
Who have displayed Your splendor above the heavens!
2 From the mouth of infants and nursing babes You have established strength
Because of Your adversaries,
To make the enemy and the revengeful cease.

3 When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
The moon and the stars, which You have ordained;
4 What is man that You take thought of him,
And the son of man that You care for him?
5 Yet You have made him a little lower than God,
And You crown him with glory and majesty!
6 You make him to rule over the works of Your hands;
You have put all things under his feet,
7 All sheep and oxen,
And also the beasts of the field,
8 The birds of the heavens and the fish of the sea,
Whatever passes through the paths of the seas.

9 O Lord, our Lord,
How majestic is Your name in all the earth!”

— Psalm 8 (NASB)

As usual, I like to pull the passage apart verse by verse.

Verse 1 

O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth,

This verse sets the tone for the passage. David immediately establishes the order of authority. God is Lord. He is our Lord. David also points out, God's name is majestic in all the earth. God is Lord over all people and all the earth. This is completely understood when we believe that God is our creator. The Maker is the One who created it all and because of that He is our Lord. We are His creation. We are not on the same level as Him. 

It is unfortunate in today's world that God's name has become a tool to be used, rather than a name that is honored and glorified. I have heard, even people who claim to be Christians, use God's name in vain. There is a commandment for that remember?

“You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not leave him unpunished who takes His name in vain.”

— Exodus 20:7 (NASB)

God's name is majestic and should be spoken with reverence and love, not flippantly like so many others words in our language. 

Who have displayed your splendor above the heavens.

When i first became familiar with this psalm, I thought this was a question. I am much more aware of proper punctuation and grammar now, This would read more smoothly in both the NIV and the ESV - 

“You have set your glory
in the heavens.”

— Psalm 8:1 b (NIV)

“You have set your glory
in the heavens.”

— Psalm 8:1 b (ESV)

It is, no doubt, God, who sets the sun and the moon in their places. He dropped each star onto that blanket of blackness like a child playing with glitter glue. He is the one who places the rainbow in the sky and the planets in their orbits. Any sunrise or sunset I am privileged to witness, my mind immediately recites this first verse. 

Verse 2

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From the mouth of infants and nursing babes You have established strength

It is fairly common for the Almighty God to use the weak things of this world to overcome the strong. 

“But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong;”

— 1 Corinthians 1:27 (ESV)

Jesus used children to explain the simplicity of getting into heaven. 

“Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.””

— Luke 18:17 (NASB)

Because of your adversaries, to make the enemy and the revengeful cease.

God did this, because of His enemy, more specifically Satan. Over 2000 years ago a baby was born and laid in a manger. That baby was the only one who had and still has the capacity to make the enemy and the revengeful cease! 

Verse 3

When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars which You have ordained, 

The psalmist had no doubts about who created the world. He wasn't questioning the age of the earth or whether it was created in seven literal days or seven ages, he knew the world was the work of the One whose name was Majestic. He knew the moon and the stars were the work of His fingers. That knowledge made him shudder with humility.

Verse 4

What is man that You take thought of him and the son of man that You care for him?

The psalmist questions this God, whose name is Majestic, and so too should we. Who are we that God would take thought of us or that He would care for us? Yet He does. In fact....

Verse 5

Yet You made him a little lower than God

Whoa! Did you catch that? It doesn't say, He made us like pond scum. Evolutionists would like the world to believe that we came from just that, pond scum. But no! We are made only a little lower than God. How does that make you feel? It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, but also very humbled. God made us with intentionality to be only a little lower than His majesty! 

And You crown him with glory and majesty!

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How about that? We get to be majestic too! He chooses to crown us with glory and majesty. Wow! That is really all I can say. Wow!

Verse 7 & 8

You make him to rule over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet,

I know there are people who take issue with this idea. I believe we are to treat all of God's creation with respect and dignity. I also believe in managing the creation we have been given and taking care of it, so yes, I eat meat, my husband hunts and we cut the grass. The verse plainly says that all things are subject to us and we are to rule over the works of His hands. That does not mean we are to abuse or misuse. He gave us this responsibility and that is exactly how we should treat it, as a responsibility, not a free for all. 

The psalmist then goes on to list some of the things that are under our rule.

All sheep and oxen, and also the beasts of the field, the birds of the heaven and the fish of the sea, whatever passes through the paths of the seas. 

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I am pretty sure when David penned these words he was thinking back to the story of Creation. He knew that man was made to take care of the earth and rule over it. This was a privilege and a joy. 

Finally, he bookends the psalm by repeating the opening phrase.

Verse 9

O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth. 

I think this is a lovely psalm to memorize or at least read over on occasion, especially as the seasons change. The dark, drab, cold months will be giving way to the warm rains, flowers and sunshine of spring and then summer. Let's try to remember how incredibly blessed we are to not only be able to enjoy His creation, but also that our position is meant to be only a little lower than the Creator Himself. That gives us worth, value and hope! 

Have a great day. 

Introvert? Yup!

Hi! My name is Amy and I am an introvert! Are you surprised? Maybe you are an introvert as well. You might be wondering how and why an introvert would have a fashion and faith blog. The faith part of it is a little easier to swallow, at least no one is looking at you. Fashion, however? How do I manage to stand in front of a camera, posing and smiling and not feel like a fake? Believe me, I often do feel that way. 

I have been an introvert for as long as I can remember. Here is how Webster's online dictionary defines the word:

“...one whose personality is characterized by introversion; especially : a reserved or shy person who enjoys spending time alone”

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I can remember as a child often hiding behind my mother when people would talk to me. My mother would often push me from out behind her to make me visible to whomever was addressing me. I didn't like people to notice me or talk about me. It is unknown to me why some of us are introverts and some of us are extroverts, though I am confident it is due to God making us one way or the other. I'm sure there have been all sorts of studies and articles on the differences between introverts and extroverts. Here are a few to look at: 

23 Signs You're Secretly an Introvert

What is an Introvert?

While the truth is, one personality type is not better than the other, as an introvert I have often felt the scorn of others because of my shyness. I have been called stuck up, aloof, a prude and other descriptive words that were not kind. I have also skulked away from a conversation or a social situation because my voiced opinions were laughed at, cut down or ignored. I have felt the icy coldness of what I call being invisible. 

As an introvert I struggle with the dichotomy of wanting to crawl under a rock and wanting to be noticed and remembered. It is an odd place to stand, as though I am permanently on a tight rope walking between two cliffs. On one side are roaring lions and on the other side are stomping dinosaurs. 

The reality is, I am not stuck up. I struggle socially. It is hard for me to make small talk, especially with people I don't know. When I go to a gathering, even with family, I am often overwhelmed. I am most comfortable in my home with a good book or an escapist type movie. That doesn't mean I don't want friends. It doesn't mean that I don't want to be with other people. It just means that I need more time to think, and refuel. 

Being an introvert who also struggles with Seasonal Affective Disorder is a further conundrum. Not only do I have the normal need for alone time, I also struggle with feeling alone, especially when it is dark and cold. Not only do I need more time to process, I have a harder time with the processing...and cravings for chocolate cake! 

By now you might be wondering what the point of this little post is. My goal is three-fold:

1. To make you aware.

Introverted people are not cold, aloof or mean, they are simply different. They have emotions and feelings that run just as deep as extroverts. They love deeply, worry deeply and might just make fantastic friends. Instead of judging a person to be this or that, try getting to know them. If you see that person standing alone at a party, go introduce yourself and ask lots of questions. Usually, an introvert is just as pleased to talk about themselves and give their opinions as the next person, they just need a little help. Also be understanding if they just want to stay home and read a book rather than go to that concert or other outing with a bunch of friends. Most of us introverts are more one on one or small group types of people. 

2. To remind you.

God created you. He meant for you to be just exactly who you are. I have found that being an introvert often pushes me towards God as i struggle to find my place in a very social world. It has also helped me to be more in tune to His voice when I have alone time. No matter if you are an introvert, an extrovert or somewhere in between, God made you exactly as He wants you to be. I can praise the Creator because:

“I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.”

— Psalm 139:14 (NASB)

3. To encourage you.

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me”

— Philippians 4:13 (NASB)

We all have our struggles, but with Christ we are able to do anything. Christ has been my strength when I don't want to go to that social gathering, or start that conversation with my fellow employee, or network with those people at the coffee shop, or put myself out there, when I really would rather find a warm hole to crawl into. He is always there, ready and willing, to help me step out and up.

From Knowledge to Knowing

What is the difference between knowledge and knowing? Webster's online dictionary defines knowledge in this way - "the fact or condition of knowing something with familiarity gained through experience or association..." It can also be defined as, "the sum of what is known, body of knowledge..." The word knowing is defined - "having or reflecting knowledge, information or intelligence."

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From these definitions it would seem to be the case, we can all have some sort of knowledge about many things. I know that two plus two equals four. I also know, water is made up of two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom. However, knowing two plus two equals four does not mean I know how to do math. Nor does knowing water is made up of hydrogen and oxygen make me hydrated. Knowledge that becomes knowing is a direct result of acting on that knowledge. 

To take knowledge from our heads and make it a part of our lives takes effort. We are not sponges. We do not absorb knowledge and have it make us into a super human computer. We have to do something with the knowledge. Knowing what a number is, and a few, often quoted facts, does not mean we know how to add, subtract, multiply and divide, let alone do more complex functions, like algebraic equations and geometric formulas. To take this step from knowledge to knowing we have to learn. We must sit under the tutelage of one who knows and understands mathematics in order to come to a point of knowing it ourselves. 

In a similar fashion, knowing what components make up water, does not give me the hydration so important for life. I must take the water and actually drink it. That is the only way my body will obtain the life giving qualities that water has. 

In our lives as Christians, we come to have a body of knowledge. We know the Bible is God's word. We know from various passages in scripture of God's love, justice and mercy. We also know about Jesus; His birth, life, death, and resurrection. But how to we take knowledge in our spiritual lives and making it knowing?

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Anyone can have knowledge of God. Plug the word God into Google and see what comes up. However, having knowledge of God does not mean you are a person of faith. I have knowledge of Allah, but I am not a Muslim. I have knowledge of Buddha, but I am not a Buddhist. So what takes us from knowledge to knowing, when it comes to faith?  

“Belief is not the result of an intellectual act, but the result of an act of my will whereby I deliberately commit myself.”

— Oswald Chambers - My Utmost for His Highest - December 22nd

I personally believe that when we do as Oswald says in the above quote, we go from knowledge to knowing. When we apply our will and deliberately commit ourselves to God in a relationship we no longer have knowledge, we know. How does this take place? In a supernatural way, through the Holy Spirit. 

In Biblical times, the word know was associated with sexual intercourse. It implied intimacy. A person who has sex with another in this fashion, goes from knowledge of that person to knowing that person in an intimate way. One of the issues with sex outside the parameters of a committed relationship is the inability to truly know each other. This might partially explain why so many relationships fail. The partners involved have never gone from knowledge of each other to knowing each other. 

The type of knowledge that we want to have of God and of His son Jesus is an intimate one. We want to commit ourselves to Him in a deep, vulnerable way, so that we no longer just know facts and statements made about Him, but the deep inner layers of the Almighty Himself. This is not an intellectual act, other than the thought, "I want to commit myself to God." It is an act of the will, just as much as saying "I do" is an act of the heart. 

For example, read the following verse.

“Shout for joy, you heavens;
rejoice, you earth;
burst into song, you mountains!
For the Lord comforts his people
and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.”

— Isaiah 49:13 (NIV)

In the midst of chaos, I can read that verse and with the eye roll of a junior higher think, "Yeah, right."

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Or, I can commit my will to believe and suddenly it becomes the firm, heart felt statement of, "Yeah! Right!" Now, I get it. God really does comfort and have compassion. I know, because I know (intimately), that He will comfort and have compassion. I have felt it and I have seen it. 

Do you see what happened there? I went from knowledge to knowing. I committed myself to believe the promises in His word and His response to my commitment was to draw me into the deeper knowing of Himself. 

It is God and His Spirit who take us from knowledge to knowing - knowing Him; His mercy and grace; His long suffering and goodness. Merely reading, gaining knowledge and nodding our heads that we believe does not a believer make. It is our act of the will, our choices day in and day out, moment by moment that move us from rote belief and knowledge to true, heart felt faith; to knowing God. 

Mulling It Over - Part 1

Last year I did a Mulling It Over series on Ephesians 6:10-18. It took me a period of months to dig deeply into that passage on the armor of God. This year I would like to use the same format to dig into a few other passages that are worth chewing on slowly. According to Webster's online dictionary, the word ruminate means to go over in the mind repeatedly, often in a slow, casual fashion or to chew repeatedly for an extended period of time. That is what we are going to do with these passages. 

Pixabay - this little guy looks like he'll be chewing for a while!

The books of 1st and 2nd Timothy in the New Testament were letters written by Paul to Timothy, pastor of the church at Ephesus. Timothy had journeyed with Paul on his second and third missionary journeys. The two knew each other and had spent plenty of time working and ministering side by side. Paul's purpose in these letters was to encourage and give practical advice and instruction for the pastor of a church. 

“First Timothy presents the most explicit and complete instructions for church leadership and organization in the entire Bible. This includes sections on appropriate conduct in worship gatherings, the qualifications of elders and deacons, and the proper order of church discipline.”

— Chuck Swindoll (from Insight for Living Ministries)

With regards to 2 Timothy:

“Paul knew that Timothy’s task of keeping the church within the bounds of sound doctrine while encouraging believers to live their lives well for the sake of Christ would be an often thankless and difficult task. Though hardship would come, Paul wanted Timothy to continue in those things he had learned, drawing on the rich heritage of faith that had been passed down to the young pastor, not just from Paul but also from his mother and grandmother ”

— Chuck Swindoll (from Insight for Living Ministries)

Both letters written to Timothy are worth mulling over, but for the next few months, I want to look at just a few verses from 2 Timothy 2.

“20 Now in a large house there are not only gold and silver vessels, but also vessels of wood and of earthenware, and some to honor and some to dishonor.
21 Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.
22 Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
23 But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels.
24 The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged,
25 with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth,
26 and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.”

— 2 Timothy 2:20-26 (NASB)

Let me preface the discussion with a key point:

This was written to the church leadership. This is important to remember when we look at the terminology in the passage. I would add, it is written to any mature Christian, since it is included in the Bible. I added the word mature, because part of this passage talks about teaching and I think it is important that we have Christians who know God's word and not only understand it, but live it in leadership and teaching positions.

All that being said, let's take a look at the first verse:

“Now in a large house there are not only gold and silver vessels, but also vessels of wood and of earthenware, and some to honor and some to dishonor.”

— 2 Timothy 2:20 (NASB)

How can we dissect this verse to squeeze as much out of it as possible? I like to take each phrase and ruminate on it. 

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1. Now in a large house....

I believe the idea Paul  is trying to get across is that the church is a big institution. We are not talking the physical size of each individual church, but the body as a whole. A large house, in Paul's day would have indicated power and wealth. While this is still true today (ever watch that series Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous), there can be instances of large houses that are completely abandoned. 

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2. ...there are not only gold and silver vessels...

This was another clue that Paul was making a comparison to a house of wealth and power. There were people in the church, just as today, who were wealthy. The church has always had a mix of rich, middle class and poor and it is often the rich and middle class who are giving of their surplus to aid those who go without. 

Gold and silver vessels were akin to us bringing out the good silver ware for a holiday dinner, at least that is something my mother used to do. I don't have any good silver ware. It is what it is. Ha, ha. But back in the day, this was an important thing to do when entertaining guests. Cleaning, polishing and making everything comfortable is the way we have chosen to honor the guests brought into our homes for centuries. 

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3. ...but also vessels of wood and earthenware...

Not all vessels are the same. There are gold and silver, those vessels used for special occasions, but there are also vessels of wood and earthenware. Are you following the analogy? Paul is not talking about actual cups and bowls, he is talking about people! All of us are vessels. Some of us are gold and silver. We are flashy and showy. We bring in a crowd or we brighten up a room. Some us us are wood and earthenware. We are stable, consistent and incredibly functional, but we are not recognized beyond that. 

4. ...and some to honor and some to dishonor...

What exactly does Paul mean in this phrase? Simply put, we are all capable of honoring God, but we are also all capable of dishonoring Him.

Timothy was a young pastor and not everyone in his congregation thought he was up to the task. Rather than encouraging him and trying to work with him, a few of his congregants became obsessed with his age and felt he didn't have enough experience to properly pastor a church. He also had congregants who were involved in some less than savory things, but more on that next month. 

So what can we learn from this one verse today:

1. We are part of His body - the big house.

2. We are all vessels.

3. Not all of us are gold or silver. Some of us are wood or earthenware.

4. We are all capable of honoring or dishonoring God.

I hope and pray that as you read this post you will realize that we are all important in His body, or house - the church. I also hope you will see your worth. It doesn't matter who you are, what you look like or what you do as a job or how much money you make, you are important to the body of Christ. 

Have a great day!

Walking with the Psalmist

Last month I began a discussion on the first song in the book of Psalms in the Old Testament. While we do not know for sure who wrote this psalm, it is clear, by its inclusion in the Scripture, it is important. I explained that Psalm 1 describes two men, a righteous one and a wicked one. Last month I concentrated on the righteous man and found ten characteristics that a righteous man will have. This month, I want to look more closely at the wicked man.

“1 How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,
Nor stand in the path of sinners,
Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!
2 But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
3 He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,
Which yields its fruit in its season
And its leaf does not wither;
And in whatever he does, he prospers.
4 The wicked are not so,
But they are like chaff which the wind drives away.
5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
6 For the Lord knows the way of the righteous,
But the way of the wicked will perish.”

— Psalm 1:1-6 (NASB)

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What sort of characteristics describe the wicked man.

1. They are not like the righteous man.

Verse 4 begins with the phrase, "The wicked are not so." It would logically follow that all of the traits that were listed to describe the righteous man are not traits the wicked man has. In other words this man does not love God's word, they hang out with other's who do not love God's word and they are not firmly rooted in God's law. 

2. They are like chaff.

What exactly is chaff? In this Old Testament context the word chaff was used to describe the outer hulls of seeds and other debris separated from the seed when threshing grain. Before the age of huge farm machinery, threshing was a laborious task done by hand on a threshing floor. The stalks of grain were beaten with a piece of wood called a flail. Chaff is not useful for anything and was thrown away. 

It might seem to us, calling a person chaff, is rather mean, but these words were inspired by a holy and righteous God. The point was to give us a comparison with no doubt involved. Righteous is righteous and wicked is wicked. 

3. They are driven away by the wind.

I think we can derive two ideas from this. First of all, the chaff in the threshing process was often swept up to blow away in the wind. It was meant to be discarded, just as our modern combine separates the chaff from the seed out in the field. Have you ever driven by a field when the combine is working and noticed a cloud of dust flying up in the air? That is not just dirt!

The second idea that came to my mind is, often people who do not know God are driven to and fro by the changing winds of life. They try anything and everything to fill the emptiness that exists inside of them and they most often are looking out for their own interests willing to step on others to feel fulfilled.

4. The wicked will not stand in the judgment.

The idea of judgment has become the elephant in the room. No one wants to talk about judgment. No one wants to discuss the consequences of sin. How often do you hear a sermon about sin, hell or the anger of a righteous God? Not as often as we used to, I'd venture to say. While I think we need to show love, wait for the right opportunities and reply with gentleness, we also can't stop talking about the idea that God is a holy and perfect God and we are not. That was and still is the reason Jesus became a man, walked on this earth, died on a cross and rose again. If we stop talking about judgment we might as well stop talking about Jesus. 

Jesus Christ is who differentiates us from all other religions. It is His blood that covers a righteous man and it is only His blood that allows the righteous man to stand at the final judgment. The wicked man will not stand because he has not recognized Christ as the way, the truth and the life.

For us to say, "I don't believe in hell or a judgment," is like saying, "Seventeen people didn't get shot at a high school in Florida." Just because it is terrible, doesn't mean our ignoring it or wishing it away makes it any less a reality. 

5. The wicked will not stand in the assembly of the righteous. 

I am not sure in this case whether it is similar to the judgment, they won't be able to, because their wickedness separates them from the righteous, or if it has to do with their own desire. The wicked do not want to stand in the assembly of the righteous. We have churches closing their doors at an alarming rate. For further info on this Dr. Richard Krejcir of churchleadership.org wrote an eye opening article titled Statistics and Reasons for Church Decline. Ken Ham of Answers in Genesis, wrote a book a few years ago titled Already Gone, which addresses the exodus of many young people from the church. If those who would be righteous aren't even staying in the assembly of the righteous, then the wicked certainly won't be drawn to the church. 

St. Albans Cathedral - England trip 2012

This is just my take on the verse. It is more likely that the wicked won't be able to stand in the assembly of the righteous because of their wickedness. 

6. The wicked will perish.

This isn't a pleasant thought. It might be easy to think of someone like Hitler perishing, because we could easily point out his wickedness, but the scripture is clear:

“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

— Romans 3:23 (NASB)

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

— Romans 6:23 (NASB)

“that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved;”

— Romans 10:9 (NASB)

While the standing of the wicked man compared to the righteous man is not pleasant, there is hope. If you are a Christ follower, then you are already familiar with that hope. You are also in a position to help someone who doesn't have that hope. Live your life in Christ out loud, so all the world can see. I leave you with these verses, which I will feature next week on my Mulling It Over column.

“23 But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels.
24 The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged,
25 with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, 26 and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.”

— 2 Timothy 2:23-26 (NASB)

Twoo Wuv!

Who can forget the iconic marriage scene from the Princess Bride?

If you have never seen this family friendly movie, be sure to check it out. It is everything we want in a romantic comedy...danger, sword fights, a beautiful couple and plenty of bad guys. It is one of those old fashion love stories where the couple truly lives, happily ever after.

Seeing as it is Valentine's Day, I thought it would be good to talk about twoo wuv, excuse me, I mean true love. Everyone is looking for true love. We all would like to find our soul mate, the one we instantly connect with and with whom we will always feel giddy and excited. Do you remember your first date? How about your first kiss? Weren't those magical memorable moments? And then one day you finally meet that special someone and you know they are the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. You date, get engaged, plan a wedding and get married. This is the beginning of your happily ever after....

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Fast forward five years. Who is this person you married and what did they do with that one you fell so madly and deeply in love with? They leave their clothes on the floor, whiskers in the bathroom sink, the toilet seat up, squeeze the toothpaste the in the middle, and when they finally think to replace the toilet paper roll, they put it on the wrong way. They don't help around the house and you could count on one hand how many diapers they have changed. What happened to true love and the happily ever after?

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The last two weeks, I wrote about The Real Romance, and Why is Love so Hard?  The first dealt with God's love for us and the second spoke more to our perspective on how trying to love in our own power is a very hard thing to do. I looked at 1 Corinthians 13 last week and I would like to take another look, in detail, at a few of those verses this week. Using these as a guide we can define what twoo wuv looks like. 

1. Twoo wuv is patient. 

“ Love is patient...”

— I Corinthians 13:4 (NASB)

Patience is a virtue, as the saying goes, and it is essential in a loving relationship. Patience will cover many of those things that might irritate in a marriage, such as toothpaste tubes and toilet paper placement. If something about your significant other is irritating you, take a deep breath and let it go. 

2. Twoo wuv is kind and is not jealous.

“...love is kind and is not jealous;...”

— I Corinthians 13:4 (NASB)

I find it interesting that these two things are connected with a conjunction. Kindness is key in a loving relationship, just as is trust. I think it is very hard to be kind without the warm blanket of trust surrounding the relationship. There is no place for jealousy in a relationship. 

3. Twoo wuv does not brag and is not prideful. 

“...love does not brag and is not arrogant,...”

— I Corinthians 13:4 (NASB)

My husband loves to talk about things he's done in the past, as well as when he does a good thing at work. When we were first married, I often thought this was a matter of boastfulness and pride. I have learned, however, that some families have a tradition of story telling, much like many cultures of the past sharing their conquests and victories. Oral tradition used to be the way to pass on a culture's identity and traditions. 

Bragging and arrogance often go hand in hand. When thrown into a relationship they soon become a source of bitterness and frustration. Let's face it, bragging and pride usually are self serving and being self serving in a marriage doesn't not epitomize true love. 

4. Twoo wuv does not act ugly.

“...does not act unbecomingly...”

— I Corinthians 13:5 (NASB)

I know all about acting ugly in a marriage. My hubby and I affectionately call our first year of marriage, "the year from hell." Yes indeed! I have always been an emotional person. While the years and menopause have done wonders to temper my emotions, the early years were not pretty. I always had mood swings when it was "that time of the month", but being on the birth control pill contributed to emotional rants that were extremely volatile. My poor spouse must have thought he had married an alien or that a demon had come in when I said the marriage vows and taken over my body. 

Allowing ourselves to be "ugly" to our spouses does not create an environment of trust, nor even one of desire. Acting unbecomingly does not foster true love. 

5. Twoo wuv isn't selfish. 

“...it does not seek its own,...”

— I Corinthians 13:5 (NASB)

We are all selfish by nature. The Bible, says none of us are righteous and we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God. That sin nature expresses itself in the form of selfishness. If you think about all the bad stuff that happens in a marriage and even in our world we can probably link most, if not all, back to selfishness. 

Selfishness is basically the act or mentality of looking out for ourselves. There is a lot of talk these days about self love, and that is important, however, if self love becomes such a focus that it hurts and offends others, then it becomes selfish love. There is no place in a marriage for this type of love. Unfortunately, so many of us start out marriage thinking about what I am going to get from this other person, rather than being confident in our place with Christ and being a loving and gracious servant. 

6. Twoo wuv doesn't hold a grudge. 

“...is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,...”

— I Corinthians 13:5 (NASB)

I put these two ideas as one because what causes a person to be provoked is probably going to be the same thing that causes that person to hold a grudge. The word provoke, according to Webster means to arouse a feeling or action, or to incite to anger. If true love is not provoked then it doesn't become angry at the object of its affection. How many times have you gotten angry at your spouse? My husband and I have had to learn this one the hard way, by doing it. Ha, ha. Truly, it is not funny. Provocation and holding a grudge are a death sentence in a marriage. Even if you stick it out, like we have, it is very damaging. 

My husband and I have been married for almost 31 years and we are just now beginning to repent and turn away from these unloving behaviors in our relationship. We have a long way to go, but true love is worth the effort. 

7. Twoo wuv rejoices in the right things.

“...does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth...”

— I Corinthians 13:6 (NASB)

 What exactly does this mean? Certainly, there are all sorts of ways we or our spouses can be unrighteous. The goal is to not condone the things that we do or that we see in each other that are wrong. God wants us to be righteous and truthful, and even more as a couple, since many of us are examples to our children and grandchildren. 

I have found more recently that both my spouse and I have issues with wrong thinking. Meaning, we do not see ourselves truthfully, as God sees us, but as we think the world sees us, or as we see ourselves as coming up short. This is not good for a marriage. We need to be encouraging one another with the truth as it is written in God's word and rejoice in that beautiful truth. 

8. Twoo wuv is the bomb!

“...bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

— I Corinthians 13:7 (NASB)

I love the insistent language in these four actions....bears, believes, hopes and endures. Isn't that just beautiful? True love does all of these things. Each of us have our own burdens in life and many of those come out of our relationships with those we love. But true love is called to bear those things, believe in God being able to work in those situations, hope in things getting better, but enduring if they don't. 

Please don't misunderstand. I believe there are situations where a couple just can't work out their issues and divorce may be the only option. Situations of abuse and infidelity are extremely hard to overcome without a great deal of counsel, and in those, each person has to recognize the problem and be willing to get help. 

9. Twoo wuv doesn't fail.

“ Love never fails...”

— I Corinthians 13:8 (NASB)

The final point is, true love will not fail. That is precisely why, this love must come from a source greater than I. God is that source. It is easy to love when life is exciting and smooth, but the whole point of this passage, was that life can be very difficult and love that only sticks around for the smooth and easy times is not true love. 

I hope and pray that you are experiencing twoo wuv in your relationships. If not, I hope that you know, the One who created and exists as true love will always be there for you, day in and day out.