Mulling It Over - Part 6

I am taking an in depth look at 2 Timothy 2:20-26. This week I am going to focus on verse 25.

“25 with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth,”

— 2 Timothy 2:25 (NASB)

Last time I looked at verse 24 and we saw a number of specific commands with regards to the Lord's bondservant. You can see that post here. I explained that a bondservant is one who is sold out to Christ and calls Him Lord and Master. It is this bondservant that Paul continues to address in this next verse. In verse 24 Paul explains that Christ's bondservant is to not be quarrelsome, kind to all, able to teach and patient when wronged. Now we see in verse 25 the main emphasis is on the characteristic of gentleness. Let's define that word.

According to Webster's online dictionary the word gentleness can be define in these ways: belonging to a family of high social station; chivalrous; honorable or distinguished; kind or amiable; docile; free from harshness, sternness or violence; soft or delicate; moderate. 

This verse speaks to the idea of correction, but correction done with gentleness. Think about how you as a parent correct your children. I, unfortunately, was a yeller. I disciplined out of anger, not love and gentleness. I honestly believe, looking back, I did more to harden my children's hearts towards God, rather than encouraging them to desire a relationship with Him. But rather than spend my time being sad and discouraged, I decided that I would use my experiences to try to teach others, there is a better way. That is the way of gentleness.

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The verse says, "with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition,". Before I go further down this road, let me show you a few other scriptures related to gentleness. 

“You have also given me the shield of Your salvation, And Your right hand upholds me; And Your gentleness makes me great.”

— Psalm 18:25 (NASB)

Gentleness makes us great? Huh. Who would have thought that?

“22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

— Galatians 5:22-23 (NASB)

Gentleness is not something we conjure up ourselves, it is a fruit of His Spirit. 

“But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness.”

— 1 Timothy 6:11 (NASB)

It is something we are to pursue. If it is the case that it is a fruit of His Spirit and we are to pursue it, then we ought to be regularly in contact with the Spirit through study of God's word and prayer.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”

— Proverbs 15:1 (NASB)

Gentleness is capable of changing a situation.

I wish I would have really understood how this idea of gentleness works. When gentleness is used in a situation where correction is involved I believe it will result in a quicker and smoother resolution to the conflict. Have you ever been in a situation where you are confronted by someone who is very angry. Once in a while in my work as a retailer, a customer will be upset and angry about how a transaction was handled, the price of books or a communication problem. It is easy to let things escalate and get out of hand. However, I have found that responding in a soft, gentle way, and agreeing with the customer that their feelings are legitimate helps the situation to come back to a workable level. 

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Having to correct someone is hard. Being a parent is hard and correcting your children can be a difficult thing, especially when they are older. Using a gentle hand rather than a harsh one will help maintain your relationship with your child and keep the communication lines open. This is also true for managers with their employees and people in the service industry with their customers. 

Looking at the rest of the verse we see that our ability to be gentle has a purpose in God's greater plan. That is, our use of gentleness may actually help to lead a person to the repentance which leads to knowledge of the truth. When correction happens in an environment where a person feels comfortable and valued, there is a better chance that a person will listen to further instruction and advice from the same person. When a child feels loved and cared for, even when a parent disciplines him or her, the child will feel comfortable listening to their parents leading and instruction.

We know ultimately, God is the one who draws people to Himself, but our ability to be gentle as we go through life, might provide an environment where God's Spirit will bring understanding and revelation. 

The Secrets We Carry and the Scars We Wear

I am not sure how to start this post, other than to come right out and say, some of us have secrets. They are secrets we never thought we were going to have to keep. Dark secrets. Secrets that should not have to be kept. Secrets that should not have to be carried. You see, sometimes the secrets we carry are stories. Stories of the past. Stories of things that happened. Things we don't talk about, at least not enough. Often, they are not our stories to tell. Sometimes we are witnesses, or maybe we became burden bearers to help another carry the secret that has become a battle scar on their soul. 

Too often, I hear well intended people say, "Let it go." "You'll get over it." "Move on." "It's not your cross to bear." But really, who are you to tell me that? Are you God, that you know which cross is mine and which is not? No, you are not. 

There are battles that are fought, on plains some of you will never know. Please do not categorize my war wound with your paper cut. It is not the same. Yes, we can all say, we have been hurt. We can all probably say we have fought some sort of battle and probably have a scar or two. However, God has set some of us apart. Some of us have lost limbs. Some of us wake up every morning hoping that the nightmare we had wasn't true, but every morning remember that it is. 

God has set some of us apart to bear scars. That is just the way it is. Yes, the wound will heal, but there will always be a scar. That scar is a reminder of so many things. It is a reminder of what could have been, but will never be. It is a reminder that God, who is sovereign and good, does not always withhold what is ugly and bad. It is a reminder of a time when innocence was nailed to a cross and sin won, even if only for a time. People say, "Your scars are beautiful." No, not really. Scars are pretty ugly. Sometimes even after they are completely healed, they throb, a constant reminder that all that was intended to be beautiful became ugly.

We could ask the question, why? Why does God allow some to wear the scars like armor plating and others to have little, if any, scars. 

“6 Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came among them. 7 The Lord said to Satan, “From where do you come?” Then Satan answered the Lord and said, “From roaming about on the earth and walking around on it.” 8 The Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered My servant Job? For there is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, fearing God and turning away from evil.” 9 Then Satan answered the Lord, “Does Job fear God for nothing? 10 Have You not made a hedge about him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. 11 But put forth Your hand now and touch all that he has; he will surely curse You to Your face.” 12 Then the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your power, only do not put forth your hand on him.” So Satan departed from the presence of the Lord.”

— Job 1:6-12 (NASB)

Job was a man who seemed to have everything. He was wealthy. He owned land and animals. He had a wife and family that he found true joy in. But, one day that was all swept away from him by a windstorm of the enemy so strong that it took his wealth and all of his children. His entire family and way of life was decimated. Though he and his wife survived, their pain endured. The thing I find most fascinating is this:

“20 Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped. 21 He said,

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked I shall return there.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

22 Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God.”

— Job 1:20-22 (NASB)

Four things stand out to me in these verses:

Job Worshipped

For real? How did this man, who had just lost everything, worship? When tragedy strikes it is not often our response to praise and worship God. More likely, we shake our fists at Him and ask, why? Why did You let this happen? Why didn't you stop it? You are almighty, why couldn't You have intervened? Why? Why? Why?

He Blessed God

He acknowledged God's sovereignty by admitting that it was God who gave the abundance and God who could and did take it away. He then says, "Blessed be the name of the Lord."

He Did Not Sin

There are many ways, Job could have sinned. In the very next chapter we see that the enemy again is allowed to strike Job, this time against his physical body with sores and boils. I think his wife had had enough by this point:

“9 Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!” 10 But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.”

— Job 2:9-10 (NASB)

Cursing God, would certainly be on the top of the sin list. But Job didn't do that.

He Did not Blame God

Knowing that God is sovereign and that sovereignty by its very definition means that He controls all things, or He at least allows or disallows, as we saw in the the first portion of Job. He allowed Satan to afflict Job, first by taking his wealth and family and then by taking his health. In a sense, didn't Job have a right to blame God? If God is indeed the filter through which all things, both good and bad come into our lives, don't we have a right to shake our fist at Him and ascribe blame?

You might think I am bordering on blasphemy, but I am trying to make a point. It is easy to go down a path of anger and bitterness when bad things happen. It becomes even more difficult to carry these burdens, seemingly alone, when we cannot share a particular tragedy with others. There are a few important points to remember when faced with personal tragedy.

1. Look at the Whole of Scripture for Answers.

Taking one scripture, chapter or book and focusing on it alone, is not always the best idea. If people only read the Old Testament they would think of God as an overbearing being, who played with people's lives however He willed. The New Testament must also be considered to have a better understanding of who God is and how much He really does love us. 

“28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

— Romans 8:28 (NASB)

This verse is just as true as the verses above that tell us this same God let Satan beat up one of His most faithful servants. This same God who allows or disallows the scars and the secrets we have to carry is the God who works all these things for good. This same God who allows or disallows the tragedies also calls us and gives us a purpose. This leads me to the next point.

2. Sometimes the Scars are the Purpose.

None of us want to have scars. No one wants to have to carry dark, painful secrets, but often these burdens are placed on us to allow us the opportunity to grow more dependent on Him. There is nothing more important to God than His relationship with us. However, He is also a holy God and that holiness is extremely important to Him. He demands it of us, but the beauty of this omniscient, omnipotent being is that He gives us the ability to be holy through the blood of Jesus. This connection we have with His holiness enables us to bear the scars and carry the secrets.

Our scars and the burden of carrying secrets can make us more sensitive to the difficulties and heartbreak that other people are going through. God uses our scars to help others who are wounded and broken. 

3. Place Your Complete Trust in Him.

“5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
8 It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones.”

— Proverbs 3:5-8 (NASB)

A God who is trusted is also a God who heals. Yes, the scars will always be there, until we stand before His throne, but it is then that we will see how He used those scars to work out His good will in our lives and in the lives of those around us. 

If you are carrying secrets that seem to heavy to bear, don't lean on your own understanding. Lean on Him. He will help you carry them. 

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”

— Matthew 11:28 (NASB)

Ready to Die

Dust and smoke rose into the air, creating a haze so thick the sun could barely penetrate. They had been fighting for days. Days that seemed to go on forever. They would push forward, but the enemy's forces always seemed able to push them back. She thought they were prepared for this battle. Her father, the King had thought they were ready, but now she wasn't so sure he had been right.

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The enemy soldiers were not like any other she had fought. They had battled against them previously, but something had happened in those months since that prince of darkness had taken her daughter. She wasn't sure what it was. Maybe it was because they were in his territory. Maybe it was due to the long journey their own army had to traverse to get here. Whatever, it was, she did not feel confident in their ability to win this battle. 

The thought made her cringe. How could she even be thinking these thoughts. She had never struggled with doubt before. She always had been confident in her Father's abilities as both a King and a commander. Now, however, doubts seem to plague her like some sort of blister on her foot and she had a lot of those. Her feet hurt. Her legs were stiff and her arms felt like lead. Fatigue filled her being from toes to fingertips.

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Now, her small battalion was surrounded. She was not even sure how it happened. They began the day's fighting in the clear, but now they were backed up against a canyon wall. They were hemmed in on every side. The only thing that kept them from being slaughtered was that they were on the high ground. Every time the enemy tired to attack, they sent a volley of arrows flying and the enemy retreated, but their arrows were running out. 

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"Your highness?" One of her men had come up behind her.

"Yes?"

"We only have enough arrows for one more attack...then..."

She knew the time had come. She had to make the choice to surrender or to go down fighting. She turned to face the soldier.

"I want you to bring the men together. I want to speak to them."

The soldier nodded, bowed and quickly left her.

She went to her knees. "Father, I know you cannot hear me, but wherever you are, I want you to know how much I love you and how much I look up to you. I know that I have been angry, frustrated and impatient in this mission to rescue my child, but you have never wavered and for that I am thankful. I know there is no way out of this. My child might be dead and soon that will be my fate as well, but I will never surrender to that vile, son of filth. I will go down fighting. Thank you for never giving up on me."

Tears, brimmed her eyes. She clenched her fists rising to her feet. Turning, she went to where the men were assembled. She was shocked at how very few of them were left. She stood before them, her head high.

"I would like to offer you hope. The hope that I give you is not hope for life, but hope to die with honor. Today, we are going to die, but you have a choice in how you do it. You can go out cowering, or you can go out, sword in hand, taking as many of those cursed vermin as possible before you fall. If you do that, I will be proud. If you do that, my father will be proud."

Her voice grew loud and her words were clear. "Today, let us die, for the sake of our King!"

She raised her sword and the men raised their's, voices matching hers; a chorus of rebellion they hoped the enemy would hear.  

It was not long before they saw the dust of their enemies' horses, filling the small valley below their sacrificial high ground. She instructed the men to form two lines. The first line was made up of the remaining archers. They went down on one knee, nocking their arrows as they did. The second line was made up of what was left of the battalion. She knew they had no chance, but they would die with honor, fighting for their King, her father. 

"Hold steady archers!" Her voice rang out even as the noise rose ushered in by the approaching chaos. "Hold until I give the order!"

Closer the dust came and along with it the sound of pounding hooves, a battalion of enemy riders bringing death.

Her heart beat rose and sweat mingled with the dirt and grime trickling down her neck. It felt itchy. Funny, she thought, the things one thinks about before one dies. 

Suddenly, the sky seemed to turn dark. She lifted her eyes up and saw shadows coursing through the sky over her head. She felt confused, but then those shadows became the solid forms of horses and their riders. Her heart sank. They were surrounded...

But wait! Those riders wore the King's colors!

Her men looked just as confused as she felt, but more and more shadows flew overhead, diving straight into the approaching storm. She heard a shout.

"Daughter!"

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A dusty figure on his steady mount appeared behind her. It was her father, the King.

He smiled at her, then held down his hand. Pulling her up onto his horse, he commanded others of his battalion to take up her remaining men. Once all the were mounted with other soldiers, the King raised his hand and his voice.

"This ends now!"

(This was a fictional work by Amy D. Christensen)

*     *     *     *     *      *

This fictional work is meant to remind you, when all seems lost, the King is behind you. When the dust storm of the approaching enemy brings you to the end of yourself, the King is above you. When you are severely outnumbered and you have very little left to fight with, the King is diving in ahead of you. He will be there for you, every day, every hour, every battle and especially when you finally lay down your weapons and face the last enemy of death. 

“ ....I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

— Matthew 28:20 (NASB)

For the other parts in this fictional series, click on the links below. 

Part 1: Return to Battle

Part 2: A Father's Perspective

Part 3: Waiting

Too Tired to Cope

The other day my grandson and husband were having a pillow fight. The giggling and verbal noises got rather silly and loud, when all of a sudden I hear my hubby say, "What happened, did the pillow get you in the eye?" I went in to see what was up and my grandson was in a fetal position on the couch, tears running down his face. After trying to get him to calm down and looking at his eye, I determined no real damage was done, other than some amount of pillow fuzz that his eye would eventually wash out naturally. However, my grandson could not stop crying. I tried to console him and asked him if there was something else bothering him and all I could get out of him was, "I don't know," with more tears. Finally, I made him lay down on the couch and left him alone, to try to let him sort out his own issues. He fell asleep!

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Have you ever felt that way? As though something terrible has happened, when in reality the worse part of your day was eating that ice cream sandwich when you were really trying to be good on your diet? Often, life gets brutal and we get a poke in the eye and anyone who's been through it, knows that is not pleasant. Usually, we just keep blinking and get on with our busyness without really taking stock of how tired or worn down we might be. Little kids seem to get it. They know when they are tired and they've had enough they need to take a nap...often they don't want to and usually as parents we can tell and promptly lay them down for a much needed rest. Unfortunately, when children get older, they abhor naps, even though they still might need one once in a while. 

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The same is true of us as adults. We go and go and go and go. Even when tragedy strikes we keep moving, doing, working, puttering, just so we don't have to face the shadows of our back stories. We have all manner of struggles, from childhood abuse, to rebellion in our own children, to grief from the sudden loss of a loved one. Here in the U.S. we have a tendency to not let our vulnerability show. I've noticed this in my grandson. If he's hurt, he usually shakes it off and says, "I'm fine!" So often we don't want to admit that, yes, it does hurt and it hurts so bad that I don't know if I will ever recover. Unfortunately, the way to rest, peace and a better life is being willing to admit when we are weak.

“It is vain for you to rise up early,
To retire late,
To eat the bread of painful labors;
For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.”

— Psalm 127:2 (NASB)

Take a closer look at this verse from Psalm 127. Rest is so important. Last week I talked about mental exhaustion, but today's thought is with regard to actual physical exhaustion. What this verse seems to be telling us is that even in our sleep God is ministering to us.

I don't sleep as well as I used to. I used to lay down and I would be out before my hubby even turned off the light. He has never been a good sleeper. Now that I have more nights tossing and turning or getting up to use the bathroom, I am beginning to see the toll that lack of good sleep has on a person. God has His reasons for what He does. Maybe as we age, He wakes us up to move us to pray. It seems there are always people to pray for. Or maybe it is that He wants our complete and total dependence. I know on those days that I don't sleep well, I am constantly going back to the verse:

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

— Philippians 4:13 (NASB)

I like knowing that when I am asleep, He is giving to me. What a blessing.

There are no easy answers to this thing we call life and the fatigue we often feel as we are traveling this road, but there are things we can do to help.

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1. Make taking care of yourself a priority. 

I get it ladies. We often give and give and give, until we are dead on our feet, but not taking the time to care for ourselves might lead to someone else having to take care of us. How should i take care of myself? By doing things physically, mentally and emotionally that will benefit you.  Exercise, eating well, getting enough rest (that may mean sleep or it may not, but at least resting), do things you enjoy...sew, read, swim, dance, listen to music, write, get together with friends, watch a movie, go for a walk. There are many things we can do to feel better and take time for ourselves. 

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2. Be honest with yourself and others.

Don't kid yourself. If you are tired, admit it. If you are sad, embrace it. If you are angry, stomp your feet and yell at the sky. Be real with yourself and let the people who love and care about you know what is going on. I have a tendency to keep silent when things are bothering me. I also, tend to keep pushing even when I am tired. Letting my spouse or my daughters know when I need a break or even getting them involved in making myself a priority is helpful. My older daughter and I go for walks with her dogs. My husband has learned to listen to my rants, and my younger daughter, not only thanks me for all the babysitting I do, but she tries to find alternatives when she needs extra help.

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3. Don't carry guilt.

Guilt is meant to be associated with sin. If you have done something wrong, then you should feel guilty, but taking time for yourself is not cause for guilt. Believe me, I know, people will try to make you feel guilty. The world tries to make us feel guilty. We are surrounded by the fabric of "not enough" day in and day out, but that is not from God. The guilt we have when we lie, or cheat, or hurt someone is deserved, but the guilt we feel for going out to eat instead of cooking dinner after a long day, or for a piles of laundry, dirty toilets and stacks of dishes is not worth the energy or time of feeling guilty. 

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4. Don't second guess God.

How much energy do you put into wondering if you did the right thing? I find this rather amusing, and I am guilty of doing it myself. We second guess God. "Are you sure this is what you want me to do?" "Aren't I supposed to be doing something besides being a mom, a housewife or working this job?"

This quote is very appropriate to the idea that even though we may mess up, God is still the one calling the shots. Perhaps we would feel more rested if we just rest in Him rather than trying to take responsibility for everyone and everything. 

I hope this day will offer you the opportunity to rest, relax and recharge physically, mentally and emotionally. And if you find yourself crying for seemingly no reason, maybe it is time to take a nap.