Relentless - Part 5: Rock Bottom

“Laney! What are you doing?”

Laney heard her boyfriend’s voice, but she couldn’t remember where they were. Were they at home? Where were the dogs? She suddenly felt Steve shaking her.

“Laney, what did you do? You killed our baby…my baby…” Steve shook her harder. “Open your eyes, damn it! Look at me!”

Laney forced her eyes to open. She tried to smile, but her face didn't seem to want to respond to what her brain was telling it to do.

Image by 0fjd125gk87 from Pixabay

“…hey, babe…what…time is it?”

Steve shoved her back into the couch. She usually didn’t make it that far after a binge.

“I’m done, Laney. You are on your own. That’s really what you wanted anyway, wasn’t it. You aren’t selfish, you are lost.”

Steve left, slamming the door.

Laney tried to say something, but nothing would come out. She tried to sit up, but she was so hungover she knew that wouldn’t be a good idea.

What was his problem anyway?

“It was my choice…” The words rang out into the empty room sounding like a hollow bell. “Myles? Sophie?”

Image by Linda Crouse from Pixabay

“It was my choice…” she muttered as she fell back asleep.

When she woke some time later it was dark. Not merely the darkness of night, but an inky, thick blackness that seemed to suck the breath out of her. Laney felt paralyzed, but she knew it wasn’t the alcohol and drugs, this was the paralysis of fear.

“Was it your choice?” A smooth voice whispered out of the blackness.

Laney forced herself to sit up. She knew her eyes were open, but why couldn’t she see anything. She felt the fear, like a leggy spider crawling up the back of her neck.

“My body! My choice!” She barked out the words like an angry, caged beast.

“My, my, so adamant, so angry, so vulnerable.” The voice taunted her, like a calm, stoic bully.

“Go away! Leave me alone!”

“But where would the fun be in that? My friends and I have been watching you, following you, waiting for you. You may have the King’s seal, but we can still make your life miserable. That’s really what you want anyway, isn’t it? To be miserable?”

Laney thought the voice sounded strangely like Steve’s.

“You are pathetic. You sold those dumb, four legged beasts to support your growing addiction, and then, last week you sold your own fetus.”

The voice began to giggle. The giggle turned into maniacal, stark raving hysteria. That voice was joined by another, and another, and another, until Laney was sure the laughter was coming from inside her head.

Image by Rebecca Martell from Pixabay

She covered her ears and dropped to her knees on the floor her screams becoming the crazed harmony to the unhinged laughter.

“You aren’t real! You’re just some sort of delusion from the alcohol and drugs. Go away!”

The laughing slowed, but it was replaced by whispers that sounded, oddly, like the hissing of a snake. Laney thought she had finally taken too many hallucinogenics, that her brain would no longer be able to tell the difference between the trip and reality. But then the voice started speaking again.

“I’m just a delusion? A monster of your own making? Tell me, Laney, what would the perfect enemy look like? A man with a funny little mustache who commanded armies and almost took over the world? Or how about a man who took his lovers home, then killed and ate them for dinner? No, no, no, my dear girl. I am perfection. You see I have convinced the world that I don’t exist. I can go about my business of manipulating and destroying lives without anyone ever being the wiser. You have talked yourself into believing a lie, and you even have the King’s seal. All of humanity is pathetic…”

Laney heard what the voice was saying, but she couldn’t make sense of it. “Go away!”

“Come now, Laney. The party is just getting started. You know what, I am a rather busy Being, why don’t we just get this over with. Get that bottle of pills that you have hiding in the cereal box in the cupboard. If you take them all, it should be over in just a few hours.”

Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

Laney gasped. How did he know about the pills? She smirked. Well, of course he would. He was her made up delusion.

“Why not,” she said as she struggled to crawl across the floor towards the kitchen.

“That’s right, Laney. You have nothing left to live for. No dogs, no family. Even your boyfriend, who had bought a ring, left you.”

Laney stopped. “Steve, bought me a ring?”

She felt something begin to twist inside of her. She ignored it and kept moving in the direction of what she thought might be the kitchen. She had to get those pills.

The voice dug in again. “He wanted to marry you. Can you believe he loved you? You made the right choice, you know. You would have never been a good mother.”

“He loved me?”

Image by aleksandra85foto from Pixabay

“Oh, come on Laney! You know he was only marrying you because of the baby. But, even that you have thrown away…the pills are waiting my dear. They will make all of this go away.”

Laney was frozen in a prostrate position when suddenly a thought whispered through her mind…you are loved with an everlasting love…you are the daughter of the King…you matter.

Laney touched her forehead to the floor. “Forgive me, my King…my Lord…my Savior. Rescue me.”

“Do you really think He’s going to listen to your prayers now? After all the weeks, and months, and years of your rebellion?” The voice was becoming angry.

Laney felt the air begin to move. It started like a soft summer breeze and built into a gale force wind. Her hair was whipping around her face. She was sure she could hear thunder, and the hissing and whispering grew tumultuous. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she couldn’t breath.

I’m going to die, she thought.

“ENOUGH!”

Image by Design n Print from Pixabay

Immediately the darkness was overtaken by a beautiful light. A light so warm and comforting that it caused Laney to weep. She felt her heart, iced over from so many years of pride and rebellion crack. From within it, began to seep all the darkness that she had allowed to consume her life. She cried and cried. As she remembered all the choices, her choices, she felt something like steel wool begin to scrub away the grime of manipulation and deceit.

Time passed. Her tears ebbing and flowing from her place on the floor, then she heard a different voice. She looked up.

“Laney.”

All around her home stood warriors in shining armor of light. Each one nodded at her, their faces full of compassion and joy. In front of her stood the elderly man from the park and at his feet sat Myles and Sophie. He made the motion and the two pups bolted for Laney smothering her in doggie kisses.

Laney couldn’t speak she was so overwhelmed. Then she noticed the young woman standing next to the man. She was shining, like the warriors in their armor. She came to Laney and knelt down beside her. She touched Laney’s cheek where tears had moistened it.

“Mom, I love you, and you are going to be okay.”

Our Unseen Enemy - Part 3: The Schemer

Last week we looked at Satan’s tactic of manipulation. Truly he is a master manipulator. He takes truth and twists it so that it seems different than it was really meant to be. We saw that specifically in how he manipulated Eve in the Garden of Eden in his form of a serpent. While last week we saw that he stuck to the truth, but bent and twisted it so that it was a slightly different version of the truth, this week we are going to look at how Satan schemes. This ability to connive and plot affects not only unbelievers, but Christ followers as well.

The Schemer

This guy looks like he is scheming doesn’t he? He’s hunkered down, his beady eye keeping watch for the prey and he is probably thinking about when his quarry gets close enough, he is going to use those powerful toothy jaws to latch on and gobble it up. Our enemy is much the same way as our reptilian friend. He has a scheme, a plan, and a plot. He is waiting, hunkered down, looking for each and every opportunity to trip up his quarry or even more boldly, to latch on and swallow them down.

Image by Surendra Shekhawat from Pixabay

“10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.
11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.
12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”

— Ephesians 6:10-12 (ESV)

We can see from the above passage that our enemy already has schemes in place to use against us. Verse 12 reiterates that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, although in our country right now it seems that many of our problems are being manifested on the physical plateau. Obviously, Satan will not keep his battles in the spiritual realm. He will strike in our physical realm whenever he is given the leeway. Let’s take a look at another passage in the Bible that deals with just this issue.

“6 Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came among them.
7 The Lord said to Satan, “From where have you come?” Satan answered the Lord and said, “From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down on it.”
8 And the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?”
9 Then Satan answered the Lord and said, “Does Job fear God for no reason?
10 Have you not put a hedge around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land.
11 But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face.”
12 And the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your hand. Only against him do not stretch out your hand.” So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord.”

— Job 1:6-12 (ESV)

Image by WikiImages from Pixabay

This passage might be a little uncomfortable to read. Here we see Satan coming to God, so it tells us that he still has access to God. I have to imagine, that even though Satan was cast down from heaven, God still knew exactly what he was up to and where, after all, God knows everything and is everywhere present. Whatever the case, Satan came to God among the other sons of God. Perhaps he was wearing his disguise as an angel of light, and while God would know who he was, perhaps the others in attendance, most likely other angels, would not see through his fraudulent exterior.

“13 For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ.
14 And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.
15 So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds.”

— 2 Corinthians 11:13-15 (ESV)

Looking at what takes place in this passage, I am sure, Satan entered into this assemblage with a scheme in mind. Whether he was hoping to make a fool of God, usurp his throne or just wreak havoc, Satan wasn’t coming hoping to have tea. He was plotting. Of course, I am convinced that God knew exactly what Satan was up to.

We might be tempted to think God was unfair to Job to unleash Satan’s wrath on everything he had. If you read the passage following, we see that Job lost all of his children, everything he owned was destroyed and his health evaporated. This only happened because God allowed it. God knew Job’s heart and knew through it all Job would remain faithful. He also knew the ultimate outcome, restoration. If you read the book through to its conclusion we see that Job learned some very important lessons about God, but God restored him sevenfold. Yes, he would always miss the children that he lost, but he knew this fully to his core:

“But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.”

— Job 23:10 (ESV)

Let’s move this into the context of today’s world. There are many terrible things happening. We are inundated every day, multiple times a day with the knowledge that evil is running rampant. If you don’t believe in the devil, I would ask you to reconsider. He is alive and well and scheming to bring about your ruin. However, nothing comes into our world without God knowing. It says in Matthew 10:30 that every hair of our heads is numbered. God knows what Satan is about and the time will come, when all that is lost will be restored, but know this, until that time Satan is scheming to take us down.

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

— 1 Peter 5:8 (ESV)

Image by Hans-Jürgen Münzer from Pixabay

Satan isn’t just sitting around twiddling his thumbs. He is at work. He is plotting, planning and scheming the best ways to keep the world in darkness and extinguish the lights of those who know Jesus. Think about the state of our country. Darkness is being exalted and the light is being hidden. This is not just a matter of political and socioeconomic differences. What we see happening has the mark of a hidden power; one that will not rest until every flame is put out.

But…we have hope! Jesus is alive. Everything that He did on the cross still stands. The only way we can change this world is by bringing the light of the Gospel to those who are walking in darkness. Do not be afraid. Do not hide. Pray, speak truth and lift up the name of Jesus.

Image by Greg Montani from Pixabay

“16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;
17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,
18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints”

— Ephesians 6:16-18 (ESV)

Ready to Die

Dust and smoke rose into the air, creating a haze so thick the sun could barely penetrate. They had been fighting for days. Days that seemed to go on forever. They would push forward, but the enemy's forces always seemed able to push them back. She thought they were prepared for this battle. Her father, the King had thought they were ready, but now she wasn't so sure he had been right.

Pixabay

The enemy soldiers were not like any other she had fought. They had battled against them previously, but something had happened in those months since that prince of darkness had taken her daughter. She wasn't sure what it was. Maybe it was because they were in his territory. Maybe it was due to the long journey their own army had to traverse to get here. Whatever, it was, she did not feel confident in their ability to win this battle. 

The thought made her cringe. How could she even be thinking these thoughts. She had never struggled with doubt before. She always had been confident in her Father's abilities as both a King and a commander. Now, however, doubts seem to plague her like some sort of blister on her foot and she had a lot of those. Her feet hurt. Her legs were stiff and her arms felt like lead. Fatigue filled her being from toes to fingertips.

Pixabay

Now, her small battalion was surrounded. She was not even sure how it happened. They began the day's fighting in the clear, but now they were backed up against a canyon wall. They were hemmed in on every side. The only thing that kept them from being slaughtered was that they were on the high ground. Every time the enemy tired to attack, they sent a volley of arrows flying and the enemy retreated, but their arrows were running out. 

Pixabay

"Your highness?" One of her men had come up behind her.

"Yes?"

"We only have enough arrows for one more attack...then..."

She knew the time had come. She had to make the choice to surrender or to go down fighting. She turned to face the soldier.

"I want you to bring the men together. I want to speak to them."

The soldier nodded, bowed and quickly left her.

She went to her knees. "Father, I know you cannot hear me, but wherever you are, I want you to know how much I love you and how much I look up to you. I know that I have been angry, frustrated and impatient in this mission to rescue my child, but you have never wavered and for that I am thankful. I know there is no way out of this. My child might be dead and soon that will be my fate as well, but I will never surrender to that vile, son of filth. I will go down fighting. Thank you for never giving up on me."

Tears, brimmed her eyes. She clenched her fists rising to her feet. Turning, she went to where the men were assembled. She was shocked at how very few of them were left. She stood before them, her head high.

"I would like to offer you hope. The hope that I give you is not hope for life, but hope to die with honor. Today, we are going to die, but you have a choice in how you do it. You can go out cowering, or you can go out, sword in hand, taking as many of those cursed vermin as possible before you fall. If you do that, I will be proud. If you do that, my father will be proud."

Her voice grew loud and her words were clear. "Today, let us die, for the sake of our King!"

She raised her sword and the men raised their's, voices matching hers; a chorus of rebellion they hoped the enemy would hear.  

It was not long before they saw the dust of their enemies' horses, filling the small valley below their sacrificial high ground. She instructed the men to form two lines. The first line was made up of the remaining archers. They went down on one knee, nocking their arrows as they did. The second line was made up of what was left of the battalion. She knew they had no chance, but they would die with honor, fighting for their King, her father. 

"Hold steady archers!" Her voice rang out even as the noise rose ushered in by the approaching chaos. "Hold until I give the order!"

Closer the dust came and along with it the sound of pounding hooves, a battalion of enemy riders bringing death.

Her heart beat rose and sweat mingled with the dirt and grime trickling down her neck. It felt itchy. Funny, she thought, the things one thinks about before one dies. 

Suddenly, the sky seemed to turn dark. She lifted her eyes up and saw shadows coursing through the sky over her head. She felt confused, but then those shadows became the solid forms of horses and their riders. Her heart sank. They were surrounded...

But wait! Those riders wore the King's colors!

Her men looked just as confused as she felt, but more and more shadows flew overhead, diving straight into the approaching storm. She heard a shout.

"Daughter!"

Pixabay

A dusty figure on his steady mount appeared behind her. It was her father, the King.

He smiled at her, then held down his hand. Pulling her up onto his horse, he commanded others of his battalion to take up her remaining men. Once all the were mounted with other soldiers, the King raised his hand and his voice.

"This ends now!"

(This was a fictional work by Amy D. Christensen)

*     *     *     *     *      *

This fictional work is meant to remind you, when all seems lost, the King is behind you. When the dust storm of the approaching enemy brings you to the end of yourself, the King is above you. When you are severely outnumbered and you have very little left to fight with, the King is diving in ahead of you. He will be there for you, every day, every hour, every battle and especially when you finally lay down your weapons and face the last enemy of death. 

“ ....I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

— Matthew 28:20 (NASB)

For the other parts in this fictional series, click on the links below. 

Part 1: Return to Battle

Part 2: A Father's Perspective

Part 3: Waiting

Return to Battle

She stood, looking at the expanse of land that rolled out from the castle walls. Her balcony overlooked the picturesque river valley and as the sun began to set she could see its fire glinting off the distant liquid ribbon. She felt rested, still there were moments where she wanted to stay in the soft bed that stood closer to the fireplace. There, the fire always seemed to burn cheerily in its stone dwelling. 

The battle had been fierce. Had she foreseen the damage that happened on that particular day, she might have run. But she didn't. She stood her ground and fought, just as many others did beside her. Some fell at her feet and she had to step over them, still fighting, raising her sword over and over and over. Her arms grew so fatigued she no longer felt the sword in her hand, only kept the repetitive movement; lift, swipe, strike, jab. She had no idea how many her sword had taken down. She didn't need to know. They were all enemies of the King.

Pixabay

The only wound she received was one of the heart. No one could see it, but it was there and it was deep. One she loved most dear had been taken by the enemy. A captive, taken, she knew not where; tormented, she knew not how, though she could easily imagine. The vileness of the enemy was obvious in the land. He had no reason to be subtle. He was powerful and prideful. She knew one day, that pride would be his downfall, but until then, they'd continue to fight against him and to fall.

She turned when she heard footsteps. A servant approached her tentatively. He bowed.

"His Highness, the King wishes to see you in the library." The young man kept his head lowered.

She thanked him and he left.

She put on her shoes and wrapped herself in a warm bulky sweater. Closing her door behind her she moved soundlessly down the hallways of the castle. She knew how to move without making noise. She had been trained in all areas of covert and overt combat. Before she entered the library, she took a deep, calming breath.

She loved the library. It wasn't just her love of reading and books that drew her here. It was the coziness and peacefulness of the place. The walls were made of rich, dark mahogany. The carpeting which ran wall to wall was plush. Sometimes she would take off her shoes, just to feel the softness of the rug beneath her. The curtains hanging at the windows were made of deep red velvet. Interspersed throughout the room were luxuriant furnishings of all sizes. Her favorite was an over sized chair and its companion footstool that sat close to the grand fireplace. It was in this chair that the King sat. His feet were up and his eyes were closed.

She stopped. If she didn't wake him, she could skulk back to her room and put off for a little while longer this conversation she knew was coming. That wasn't going to happen. His voice carried clearly from his comfortable position.

"Come, dear one. Sit."

His blue eyes looked at her. She moved closer to the fireplace, but didn't sit. 

He put his feet on the floor and patted the foot stool. She smiled at him, feeling like a lost sheep, but instead of sitting she began to pace.

"You know it is time." His voice was gentle.

Pixabay

She looked towards the fire blazing furiously in the hearth. She didn't want him to see her fear. She didn't want him to know how her heart cowered. Silly, she knew. He could always read her like one of the many books surroundng them.

"I know you do not feel ready. I know you are hurt, inside, where it is so much harder to heal. But you are one of my best warriors. I can't let you stay here any longer. There is too much at stake. There are too many at risk."

The gentle tone of his voice was almost maddening. She knew he was right, but she needed more time. She couldn't go back out there. Not yet. She couldn't go back to that war, that enemy. That one who ripped something, someone from her who was so precious. She just wanted to forget. To pretend none of it ever happened....but she couldn't. She knew it and so did the King.

"I...I can't my Lord! I...I...am not ready."

He sat forward in the plush chair and once again patted the footstool in front of him. She sat, their knees almost touching.

He put a hand on her cheek and wiped the tear that had fallen there. "Daughter, this is about a much bigger war than the one we fight on this plain. You know that."

She was up again. Pacing, back and forth in front of the blaze, like a caged lion, looking, always looking for a way out. "You don't understand! This enemy...he's different! He's vile....you don't know! You weren't there!"

He stood and in one step was in front of her, his graying beard becoming straggly from lack of time for grooming. He stopped her and took her hands in his. 

"I was there." Again the gentleness.

She looked at him questioning. "What do you mean? I would have known if you were there."

"Do you remember that battle, back in the winter? There was a certain warrior wearing animal skins and donning a helmet with horns. You laughed when you told me about him....said he was a Viking by any other name?"

Her eyes widened.

"And don't forget in the spring, when the rains came, the warrior whose face was so covered in mud you couldn't tell if he was of light or dark skin..."

He paused. 

She felt the coldness that had accompanied her for so long begin to melt away. He had been there. Of course he couldn't come out looking like himself, or the enemy would have recognized him. She looked into his piercing blues, questioning....

"The time will come, when I will come out as the King, but not yet...this war is not just about the child that was taken from you, but about all the children, and all the souls that are ensnared by our enemy. I need you back at the front."

She took a deep breath and shuddered. She could say no. She was his daughter, after all. She didn't have to go back and he would still love her. Of that she had no doubt. But his words about the children got to her. Her child was taken. Stolen from her by that enemy. Even if she was still alive and they found her, she knew her daughter would have scars. 

She squeezed the strong, calloused hands that hung on to hers. They were the hands of a warrior, a king and her father. She knew they would always follow her into battle, fighting beside her until she took her final breath. 

She went to her knees before him. "I am ready, my Lord."

“ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.””

— Joshua 1:9 (NASB)

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints, ”

— Ephesian 6:10-18 (NASB)

(This is a fictional work written by Amy D. Christensen)