Faith Topics: Quarrels or Kindness
We are living in a time where information is readily available at the push of a button. Whether we want to look up our symptoms on WebMD, watch a YouTube video on how to clean a headlight, or scroll through Instagram to see who’s wearing what, we can access anything at any time of day or night.
Not only is information instantaneous, but responses and opinions about the information are immediate as well. You can disagree with someone promptly without really thinking through if the things they said, or you said are going to be beneficial or helpful. From what I have seen, it is more often the case that the original information is not the issue, but how people respond to the information given.
Just what is our responsibility as Christ followers when it comes to the management of information, and our responses to that information? Are we suppose to stand up for God, and defend Him? Are we suppose to preach truth, no matter who it might hurt, or what toes we might step on? Are we being irresponsible if we don’t respond, or if we decide we no longer want to deal with the the messiness of disagreements and name calling?
While I am not a pastor, or a psychologist, I do believe God gave us clear instructions in His word for how to maneuver life in this chaotic world. As always, when we are unsure about something we should explore His word first and see what He says.
We are going to look at several passages that I think speak to this issue, and then I want to offer a few guidelines to keep in mind when you are wondering if you should “speak up”.
The Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy two times. In those letters he tried to encourage the young pastor with regards to handling his congregation. Paul knew it wouldn’t be easy for a young man taking on a group of people who were not only stubborn, but easily pulled along by the current trend of teaching and information.
“20 O Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to you, avoiding worldly and empty chatter and the opposing arguments of what is falsely called “knowledge”—
21 which some have professed and thus gone astray from the faith.”
Obviously, the letters to Timothy are included for our benefit as well, so we might take the same advice to avoid worldly, empty chatter and the opposing of arguments of what is falsely called “knowledge”. So much of what we see on social media and hear from what are often thought of as reputable news sources is falsely called “knowledge.” That will be a post for a different day, because today I want to focus on our response to “information” whether it is true or false.
Let’s look at another passage also in a letter written by Paul to Timothy.
“23 But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels.
24 The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged,
25 with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth,
26 and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.”
What I like about the Apostle Paul is that he was very straight forward. Verse 24 is really all we need to remember when we ask the question, should we as Christ followers quarrel? No, we should not. Does that mean we shouldn’t discuss, try to make a point, give evidence to support what we believe and so on? Of course not, however, we must do it as the above passage states: with kindness, able to teach, patiently, with gentleness.
When I read many of the comments to volatile posts on social media I do not see a whole lot of kindness, patience, or gentleness. Most of the time it is not about teaching, it is about wanting to be right. Our job is not to be right. Our job is to lead others to the Lamb of God. We are here to lift up the name of Jesus, not prove how intelligent or special we are.
Image by Elsemargriet from Pixabay
Believe me, I get it. There are times I want to bring down all the hell fire and damnation I can find in the Bible to make a point. There have been many times I have thought about taking the blog in a different direction and trying to be more issue oriented, but that is not what God has called me to. He has called me to encourage, pray, love, and when there is opportunity lead back to Him. People don’t need my point of view, they need Jesus!
We are called to kindness, gentleness and patience for a purpose, that God might grant those in opposition repentance leading to knowledge of the truth…His truth, not that which is “falsely called knowledge”, so that they might come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, because he has taken them captive to do his will.
I don’t know about you, but this changes my perspective in such a huge way that I can’t even talk about it without getting emotional. We are here for the glory of God. We are here to be lights in the darkness. We are the front line warriors called to fight in the unseen realm to help those lost lambs come back to their senses and escape the snare of the evil one.
What does this mean? How do we respond in these powder keg times? Here are a few ideas.
1 - Pray.
If we are praying as Paul told us:
“18 With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints,”
…then our attitudes will already be in check. Not only that, but praying in the Spirit enables Him to do the work before, during and after. We can’t soften people’s hard hearts, that is the Spirit’s job. We can’t draw people to Christ, that is the Spirit’s job. We can’t force a brother or sister in Christ to see things our way, that is a Holy Spirit work.
Prayer has always been the work we must do first and foremost, yet it is almost always an afterthought. What does God’s word say?
“17 pray without ceasing;”
This quote says it all.
“It is possible to move men, through God, by prayer alone.”
2 - Question your motives.
If you are like most of us, meaning flawed, sinful humanity, then always ask yourself, why do I need to respond to this? Will my response be met with openness or with hostility? Am I doing this because it is a Holy Spirit leading, or my own leading? Am I looking to encourage and give hope, or am I wanting to put down and destroy?
“1 The plans of the heart belong to man,
But the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.
2 All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight,
But the Lord weighs the motives.
3 Commit your works to the Lord
And your plans will be established.”
3 - Question the source.
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
Often times social media posts are about numbers and reactions. The more people give a thumbs up or a thumbs down, the more times the post is shared, and the more comments on a post are all part of the social media formula. If the source isn’t someone you know, or a source you identify as reputable it is better to let it go and not respond.
The other thought to keep in mind is many people who post in anger are often in pain. Think about what might be driving that person to say what they are saying, or to respond to a situation with deep bitterness or hatred. Often, that person is suffering, have experienced loss, or is in real physical pain or torment.
“A gentle answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.”
4 - If you still feel the urge to respond, do it in private.
There is a way, on most social media apps, to message someone in private. You do not have to continue down the proverbial public rabbit trail, whether you are responding to the original post or a comment on the original post. Send a message expressing your concern and/or your thoughts so that person can think about your input without the opinion of the masses.
When you are able to have a private conversation with someone, and I believe this is better in person rather than via email, text, or in a public social media thread, you can both ask questions to clarify statements being said, and you can read each other’s body language and facial expressions. You can see if something you are saying is causing the other person to erect a wall, or throw up roadblocks and you can back off, or change the subject. Why is this important?
“20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.
21 He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him..”
As His ambassadors we are His representatives. It used to be important to behave with propriety in public whether you were a politician, a religious leader, a teacher, or a clerk at a fast food restaurant. This is still true for those of us who call ourselves Christ followers. We are to represent God and His heavenly kingdom on this earth, not in a the manner of a bar room brawl, but with love, respect, dignity and honor.
“26 Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
27 and do not give the devil an opportunity. ”
I hope you enjoyed this post and that it gave you some things to think about. Thank you for stopping by the blog. Have a great week!