Faith Topics: Quarrels or Kindness

We are living in a time where information is readily available at the push of a button. Whether we want to look up our symptoms on WebMD, watch a YouTube video on how to clean a headlight, or scroll through Instagram to see who’s wearing what, we can access anything at any time of day or night.

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Not only is information instantaneous, but responses and opinions about the information are immediate as well. You can disagree with someone promptly without really thinking through if the things they said, or you said are going to be beneficial or helpful. From what I have seen, it is more often the case that the original information is not the issue, but how people respond to the information given.

Just what is our responsibility as Christ followers when it comes to the management of information, and our responses to that information? Are we suppose to stand up for God, and defend Him? Are we suppose to preach truth, no matter who it might hurt, or what toes we might step on? Are we being irresponsible if we don’t respond, or if we decide we no longer want to deal with the the messiness of disagreements and name calling?

While I am not a pastor, or a psychologist, I do believe God gave us clear instructions in His word for how to maneuver life in this chaotic world. As always, when we are unsure about something we should explore His word first and see what He says.

We are going to look at several passages that I think speak to this issue, and then I want to offer a few guidelines to keep in mind when you are wondering if you should “speak up”.

The Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy two times. In those letters he tried to encourage the young pastor with regards to handling his congregation. Paul knew it wouldn’t be easy for a young man taking on a group of people who were not only stubborn, but easily pulled along by the current trend of teaching and information.

20 O Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to you, avoiding worldly and empty chatter and the opposing arguments of what is falsely called “knowledge”—
21 which some have professed and thus gone astray from the faith.
— 1 Timothy 6:20-21 (NASB 1995)

Obviously, the letters to Timothy are included for our benefit as well, so we might take the same advice to avoid worldly, empty chatter and the opposing of arguments of what is falsely called “knowledge”. So much of what we see on social media and hear from what are often thought of as reputable news sources is falsely called “knowledge.” That will be a post for a different day, because today I want to focus on our response to “information” whether it is true or false.

Let’s look at another passage also in a letter written by Paul to Timothy.

23 But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels.
24 The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged,
25 with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth,
26 and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.
— 2 Timothy 2:23-26 (NASB 1995)

What I like about the Apostle Paul is that he was very straight forward. Verse 24 is really all we need to remember when we ask the question, should we as Christ followers quarrel? No, we should not. Does that mean we shouldn’t discuss, try to make a point, give evidence to support what we believe and so on? Of course not, however, we must do it as the above passage states: with kindness, able to teach, patiently, with gentleness.

When I read many of the comments to volatile posts on social media I do not see a whole lot of kindness, patience, or gentleness. Most of the time it is not about teaching, it is about wanting to be right. Our job is not to be right. Our job is to lead others to the Lamb of God. We are here to lift up the name of Jesus, not prove how intelligent or special we are.

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Believe me, I get it. There are times I want to bring down all the hell fire and damnation I can find in the Bible to make a point. There have been many times I have thought about taking the blog in a different direction and trying to be more issue oriented, but that is not what God has called me to. He has called me to encourage, pray, love, and when there is opportunity lead back to Him. People don’t need my point of view, they need Jesus!

We are called to kindness, gentleness and patience for a purpose, that God might grant those in opposition repentance leading to knowledge of the truth…His truth, not that which is “falsely called knowledge”, so that they might come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, because he has taken them captive to do his will.

I don’t know about you, but this changes my perspective in such a huge way that I can’t even talk about it without getting emotional. We are here for the glory of God. We are here to be lights in the darkness. We are the front line warriors called to fight in the unseen realm to help those lost lambs come back to their senses and escape the snare of the evil one.

What does this mean? How do we respond in these powder keg times? Here are a few ideas.

1 - Pray.

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If we are praying as Paul told us:

18 With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints,
— Ephesians 6:18 (NASB 1995)

…then our attitudes will already be in check. Not only that, but praying in the Spirit enables Him to do the work before, during and after. We can’t soften people’s hard hearts, that is the Spirit’s job. We can’t draw people to Christ, that is the Spirit’s job. We can’t force a brother or sister in Christ to see things our way, that is a Holy Spirit work.

Prayer has always been the work we must do first and foremost, yet it is almost always an afterthought. What does God’s word say?

17 pray without ceasing;
— I Thessalonians 5:17 (NASB 1995)

This quote says it all.

It is possible to move men, through God, by prayer alone.
— Hudson Taylor

2 - Question your motives.

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If you are like most of us, meaning flawed, sinful humanity, then always ask yourself, why do I need to respond to this? Will my response be met with openness or with hostility? Am I doing this because it is a Holy Spirit leading, or my own leading? Am I looking to encourage and give hope, or am I wanting to put down and destroy?

1 The plans of the heart belong to man,
But the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.
2 All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight,
But the Lord weighs the motives.
3 Commit your works to the Lord
And your plans will be established.
— Proverbs 16:1-3 (NASB 1995)

3 - Question the source.

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Often times social media posts are about numbers and reactions. The more people give a thumbs up or a thumbs down, the more times the post is shared, and the more comments on a post are all part of the social media formula. If the source isn’t someone you know, or a source you identify as reputable it is better to let it go and not respond.

The other thought to keep in mind is many people who post in anger are often in pain. Think about what might be driving that person to say what they are saying, or to respond to a situation with deep bitterness or hatred. Often, that person is suffering, have experienced loss, or is in real physical pain or torment.

A gentle answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.
— Proverbs 15:1 (NASB 1995)

4 - If you still feel the urge to respond, do it in private.

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There is a way, on most social media apps, to message someone in private. You do not have to continue down the proverbial public rabbit trail, whether you are responding to the original post or a comment on the original post. Send a message expressing your concern and/or your thoughts so that person can think about your input without the opinion of the masses.

When you are able to have a private conversation with someone, and I believe this is better in person rather than via email, text, or in a public social media thread, you can both ask questions to clarify statements being said, and you can read each other’s body language and facial expressions. You can see if something you are saying is causing the other person to erect a wall, or throw up roadblocks and you can back off, or change the subject. Why is this important?

20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.
21 He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him..
— 2 Corinthians 5:20-22 (NASB 1995)

As His ambassadors we are His representatives. It used to be important to behave with propriety in public whether you were a politician, a religious leader, a teacher, or a clerk at a fast food restaurant. This is still true for those of us who call ourselves Christ followers. We are to represent God and His heavenly kingdom on this earth, not in a the manner of a bar room brawl, but with love, respect, dignity and honor.

26 Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
27 and do not give the devil an opportunity.
— Ephesians 4:26-27 (NASB 1995)

I hope you enjoyed this post and that it gave you some things to think about. Thank you for stopping by the blog. Have a great week!

Mulling it Over - Part 8

I love to watch British mystery shows. I’ve worked my way through several and have thoroughly enjoyed them. I often think of reading and studying the Bible as a mystery investigation. We have many questions in life that we want answers for. The Bible gives us understanding as we learn to investigate its depths and trust God to teach us from it.

Image by M W from Pixabay

Image by M W from Pixabay

Just as a child has an immense sense of curiosity, in the same way we need to be curious about what God says in His word. Reading it, is a good start. Studying it, is even better. Mulling it over and ruminating on it is best. This is how we have our curiosity satisfied and it is how we learn.

Today we are looking at 2 Peter 1:9

For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins.
— 2 Peter 1:9 (NASB)

For he who lacks these qualities…

Peter is, once again, referring back to the qualities that were listed in the previous verses. Let’s review them as they are listed in the verses 5-7.

5 Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge,
6 and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness,
7 and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love.
— 2 Peter 1:5-7 (NASB)

We can draw the conclusion from the beginning of verse 9, that not everyone was practicing these qualities. This letter written by Peter was specifically for Christians, people who already believed in the death and resurrection of Christ. We can better understand this if we look back at the book of 1 Peter and the beginning of this chapter.

1 Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ,To those who reside as aliens, scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia, who are chosen
2 according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, by the sanctifying work of the Spirit, to obey Jesus Christ and be sprinkled with His blood: May grace and peace be yours in the fullest measure.
— 1 Peter 1:1-2 (NASB)
1 Simon Peter, a bond-servant and apostle of Jesus Christ,
To those who have received a faith of the same kind as ours, by the righteousness of our God and Savior, Jesus Christ:
— 2 Peter 1:1 (NASB)

It would seem, then, that not all Christians have these qualities. That may give us added insight into why Peter wrote these two letters in the first place, aside from the Divine Inspiration, aspect. God inspired him to pen these words, because there were Christians who were not exemplifying these qualities.

…is blind or short-sighted…

Talk about a slap in the face! What Peter is saying is that those who are not exhibiting these qualities are unable to see. What exactly does that mean? Obviously, there are lots of people who call themselves Christians, because they have accepted Jesus as their Savior, but they are not showing the qualities that Peter lists above.

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Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay

Let’s stop for a minute and talk about this. All of us fall short. I believe I have mentioned this before. None of us is perfect. As I have mentioned I struggle with things like self-control, diligence and love. However, struggling with doing these on a regular basis is different than not exhibiting these qualities all together. If you ask my kids and my husband, they would tell you I love them. If you ask my boss at work, she’d say I am diligent. The fact that I have chosen to not drink alcohol or smoke, tells you that I have some self-control. So what does Peter mean when he says that those who are not practicing these things are blind?

I believe that when we do not practice these qualities we become insensitive to the movement of God’s spirit in our lives. The indwelling of the Holy Spirit, when we accept Jesus’ work, life, death and resurrection, is the string that connects us to the Almighty. The Holy Spirit’s work in us is to make us more like Christ.

But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come.
— John 16:13 (NASB)

The Spirit’s job is to guide us into truth. He teaches us about diligence, knowledge, brotherly kindness and all the other qualities that we are to be practicing. When we don’t pursue these things, we become blind or short sighted to what the Spirit of the Living God wants to teach us.

…having forgotten his purification from his former sins.

Sin is not something we spend huge amounts of time talking about or thinking about, but we should. When we forget sin, we forget the whole reason, Jesus had to die on the cross. We begin to forget that we were and are sinners, saved by God’s grace and mercy. We buy into the lies that the world puts out there, that sin is a bad word and all the bad things in the world are a result of bad luck or the choices of others. We are playing a long, drawn out version of the blame game and in the end it leads to destruction.

Image by ErikaWittlieb from Pixabay 

Image by ErikaWittlieb from Pixabay 

As we begin to think about Easter, which is only a few weeks away, I hope that each of us will spend a little time in self-reflection asking these questions:

Am I practicing the qualities Peter lists in verses 5, 6 and 7?

Have I forgotten why Jesus came to die on the cross?

Have I stopped believing what God says about sin?

Have I really taken a look at myself lately to see where I am sinning, and where I need to confess and receive His forgiveness?

Let’s keep practicing these qualities. Not only will it draw us closer to Christ, but it will make us much better human beings.

Mulling It Over - Part 5

It is that time of month again, where I take a look at a particular portion of scripture and ruminate on it by tearing it apart verse by verse. For those of you who following me regularly you know I have been wading through 2 Timothy 2:20-26. The books of 1st and 2nd Timothy were written by Paul to Timothy a young pastor of a growing group of believers in the early church age. The books were written to encourage Timothy in the face of disgruntled church members. Not only were there members who looked down on Timothy because he was young, but there were members who were living a less than moral life style.

Pixabay

Pixabay

20 Now in a large house there are not only gold and silver vessels, but also vessels of wood and of earthenware, and some to honor and some to dishonor.
21 Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work. 22 Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
23 But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels.
24 The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged,
25 with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth,
26 and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.
— 2 Timothy 2:20-26 (NASB)

You can see my musings on the first four verses by clicking on each of the links. Week 1 - Verse 20, Week 2 - Verse 21, Week 3 - Verse 22, Week 4 - Verse 23. Today I'll be discussing Verse 24.

24 The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged,
— 2 Timothy 2:24 (NASB)

Before we look at the traits of a bondservant we should take a moment to define what a bond-servant was in the New Testament time period. Note the following quotes from an online article regarding the role of a bondservant. 

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Pixabay

The term “bondservant” in the New Testament (bond-servant or slave in some translations) is a translation of the Greek word doulos. Unlike perceptions of modern slavery, bondservant or doulos is a relatively broad term with a wider range of usage. In the time of the New Testament a bondservant could refer at times to someone who voluntarily served others. In most cases, however, the term referred to a person in a permanent role of service. A bondservant was considered the property of a Roman citizen, holding no right to leave his place of service.
— from an online article "What is a bondservant?..." compellingtruth. org
In many New Testament books, the word bondservant was used in reference to a person’s commitment to Jesus. Most of Paul’s letters begin by referring to himself as a servant of Christ Jesus. James and Jude, half-brothers of Jesus, both refer to themselves as Christ’s bondservants. The apostle Peter called himself a “servant and apostle”
— online article "What is a bondservant?..." compellingtruth.org
The importance of these New Testament authors referring to themselves as bondservants should not be overlooked. Despite proclaiming a message of freedom from sin in Jesus Christ, these writers were dedicated to Jesus as their one master. Further, their service to the Lord was not one they could consider leaving. Just as a bondservant was more than an employee who could leave for another job, these Christians were servants who could never leave their master for another.
— online article "What is a bondservant?..." compellingtruth.org

If you are a committed Christ follower, then you could say you are His bondservant. It is something I struggle to be, in all honesty. I want to be committed 100% to my Savior and yes my Master...I am not afraid to use that word. We live in a world where the idea of calling someone Lord or Master is not pleasant and truth be told, there is no master that is worthy of our life's commitment other than Jesus. However, there is a disconnect between saying I want to be a bondservant and actually being one. Let's see what the qualities are of one who calls Jesus Master.

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Pixabay

1. Not quarrelsome.

Okay! I am disqualified already. How about you? As a wife, do you ever find yourself quarreling with your spouse? I think most of you know what the word quarrel means. It is not just a matter of disagreeing with someone. We often disagree with our bosses, other employees, our parents and people we are following on social media, but we don't necessarily quarrel with them. When we quarrel we are trying to make our point, not only heard but adhered to. 

Why do you supposed Paul brought up this particular characteristic with Timothy? I personally do not believe Timothy was a quarrelsome chap. In fact, I think it was because people in his congregation were opinionated troublemakers that Paul encouraged Timothy...don't even go there. It won't get you any where. Just like we looked at last month to refuse ignorant and foolish speculations, so too, we should not allow ourselves to become participants in quarreling. 

I find this is incredibly hard with our significant others. We often feel, that we have a right to spew at them, because, after all we are married and they have to take the good with the bad. I hate to tell you ladies, as the Lord's bondservants we are not to be quarrelsome, end of discussion!

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Pixabay

2. Kind to all.

Does that mean everyone? Yes. Does that mean that person at work that I absolutely can't stand? Yes. Does that mean that teller at the bank who is always grumpy and scowling? Yes. Does that mean that person I thought was a friend that talked about me behind my back? Yes. 

Kindness is one of the fruits of the spirit. 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
— Galatians 5:22 (NASB)

What that means is we have the ability to be kind, all the time, to everyone. Once again, the fruit of the Spirit is His fruit. It grows in our lives as we become better and better at abiding in Christ. As His bondservant we must be kind to all. 

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Pixabay

3. Able to teach.

We could argue on this point that not everyone can be expected to teach, because not everyone has the gift of teaching. However, I would like to interject that we are all capable of teaching by example. You may not be gifted to stand in front of people and give a lecture like my husband is. You may not be good at leading a small group and explaining to others what a Bible passage means, but you can be an example of love and kindness to your children or your grand children. You might be able to teach a younger woman how to cook, take care of her first child or patch a hole in her husband's sock. The point is patience and willingness. We can all be teachers of this type by merely being willing to take the time to show others love and kindness. 

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Pixabay

4. Patient when wronged. 

This is right up there with not being quarrelsome in the hardness factor. We live in a society based on rights. If you hurt me, I have the right to seek retribution whether by payment or incarceration. I am not saying criminals should not be punished. However, there are times that we as the body of Christ are just as hard or harder on our own brothers and sisters when they have wronged us as the penal system is on a criminal. 

I am sure Timothy, as a young pastor had to endure a plethora of wrongs done against him by his own flock. Paul's advice to him is just as pertinent to us today. It is not easy to be hurt or wronged and then patient in the face of it. We want an instantaneous fix. We don't want to be mercy showers and wait for God to move in, not only the other person's life, but ours as well. God is on our side. He is just and merciful and we need to trust Him when faced with this sort of difficulty. It is never the case that only one person has been hurt. 

13 But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.
— I Corinthians 13:13 (NASB)

If you feel a tad bit convicted after reading through these four characteristics of a bondservant of Christ, then know you are not alone. I am walking this journey with you. I am glad that He is long suffering and He keeps working on us, after all we call Him Master.