Dare to be Disciplined? Doubt it!
Wow! I just looked at the last time I posted on this faith page. It was November 20th. Yikes! That is way too long. I apologize for the absence and hope to get back to a more regular posting schedule as soon as possible. I have realized over the years that I am not a very disciplined person. I mean, sure, I can get up and go to work when I have to. I make sure there is clean underwear and clean dishes to eat off of on a regular basis, but when it comes to creating new habits, or being self-motivated….that’s a different story.
Taking a look at Webster’s online dictionary we see that discipline falls into two categories. The first uses the word as a noun and includes the ideas of self-control, orderly or prescribed conduct, punishment, instruction or a field of study. The other use is as a verb and is the action of imposing punishment, order or training.
If I scrutinize my own life, I can see areas where I do have the noun discipline. The regular habits of brushing my teeth, taking a shower, getting out of bed at a similar time every day, etc. are all done out of discipline. However, there seem to be an inordinate amount of areas where I don’t exercise (verb) discipline. These would include eating healthy, exercise, blogging, writing and spending (or not spending).
Image by Jenny Friedrichs from Pixabay
Obviously, I wouldn’t have survived to the age of 56 if I wasn’t doing something to take care of myself. I honestly don’t get sick very often, unless it is from being around my Grandson and we all know children are walking petri dishes full of all manner of bacteria and viruses. I wouldn’t have survived working seasonal at Kohl’s if I wasn’t used to walking and working hard. I also wouldn’t still be blogging if I wasn’t exercising some amount of discipline with regard to regularly posting and giving you new content.
So why all the fuss over this idea of discipline?
It seems every New Year our minds are full of ideas of what we want to accomplish in the coming year. We are thrilled to start with a blank slate. We make lists of things we are going to do, which often include: lose weight, join a gym, exercise, eat more veggies, spend less money, treat our spouses and families better and more. These are not bad. It is a good thing to want to do better, to change, to grow, to get rid of old bad habits and start doing good ones.
I read a post from jillsamter on Instagram, that by January 3rd 75% of people who made New Year’s resolutions give up on them. Wow! That is crazy. That is only three days. Not very hopeful, is it? So why do we desire to change so much, but seem so incredibly inept at actually making those changes happen and stick for good?
Try these ideas on for size:
1 - Laziness - I’ll be the first to admit, I don’t like to think of myself as lazy, but I am. Webster’s defines lazy as, a disinterest to activity or exertion. That describes me on more than one occasion. Ha, ha. How many of us hit the snooze button on our alarms? How many times do we choose to binge watch a show rather than going out for a walk, or doing the dishes? How often do we go out to eat, rather than going through the work of planning, cooking and cleaning up after a meal? Isn’t it just easier to not get a good habit started at all, than to put in the effort of trying, only to give up after a few days?
2 - No accountability - If no one is watching what will we do? Probably nothing, or maybe everything. We will eat that extra piece of cake; spend the afternoon watching Netflix and turn ourselves into an ingrown toenail of discouragement and unchanged habits. Even God’s Word tells us victory is obtained with help from others.
“Where there is no guidance the people fall,
But in abundance of counselors there is victory”
There is something good about having others hold you accountable. There is also something humbling about it. That leads me to the next point.
3 - Pride - “I don’t have a problem that needs fixing. I am just fine, doing what I am doing.” “There is no way I’m going to the gym. I don’t want everyone staring at my booty!” “Discipline is overrated. I read my Bible once in a while and I even pray before most of my meals.” “I don’t want people holding me accountable. My time is my own and what I do with it is my business.”
Have you ever found yourself thinking these thoughts. I have. Discipline is hard work and we don’t like to think that we haven’t got everything figured out.
4 - Fear - This is probably one of the biggest factors that keep us from being a more disciplined people, but the fear is real, folks. Whether we fear what others will think of us, how much effort it is going to take, or what we are going to have to give up, we are afraid that in gaining control over ourselves and our lives, we will lose control over all of the things we really don’t have any control over.
Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay
Honestly, think about it. I’m afraid, if I really start eating healthy, I’ll never be able to have another piece of pizza or chocolate cake again. I am afraid, if I go to the gym, I am going to look like an absolute fat fool surrounded by all those skinny people in their cute little leggings and pony tails. I’m afraid, that if I try to be a better person it will kill me! Ha, ha. That last one might be a little extreme, but we often think in dramatic, extreme terms.
So how do we deal with this idea of discipline?
“All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.”
God knew this idea of discipline would not be easy. Our desire for things to be easy, compounded by our desire to satisfy our flesh means discipline is going to be a full time, life long job.
Recognize reality. Discipline is work. We’ve all heard the saying that work is a four letter word; this being from a time period when four letter cuss words were taboo. Discipline is your job. When I became an employee, first at the bookstore and then at a retail business, I committed to a contract. I committed to working for the allotted time I was scheduled. I committed to coming in on the days I was scheduled at the time I was scheduled. I committed to not stealing from the company. I committed to doing my job to the best of my ability. The only difference between the job and the gym (or other areas of discipline) is my level of commitment.
Image by StartupStockPhotos from Pixabay
Now that I am currently not employed I thought, why not make writing my job? Writing is my dream career, so why not treat it like it is? Why not get up at the same time every day, get my cup of tea and start working on finding freelance jobs, writing a short story to submit and working on that novel that has been simmering in my mind for a long time? My plan is to commit to a time period every day similar to a job, so maybe four to eight hours (with breaks of course). Discipline is work!
Examine expectations. Expect the unexpected. I think what often derails our plans to be more disciplined are real life distractions. I’m calling them distractions, but sometimes it is just life: your child gets sick and is home from school, your mother fell and broke her ankle, you had to work extra hours this week. All of these things sap our energy and take away time that we committed to being better disciplined.
Are you placing expectations on yourself that just aren’t realistic? My spouse and I have family out of state. We know that traveling to visit family is a priority. That means things like having a garden, and keeping a perfectly clean house are not going to be realistic at this time in our lives. I’d like to go to the gym three days a week, but right now I’d be happy with one. I’d like to walk three miles every day, but a more realistic goal is once a week (especially since it has been raining for two days now).
Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay
I am not saying we shouldn’t push and reach. Of course that is part of the work idea of discipline, but expecting to much to start and then failing may thwart our efforts permanently.
Start small. Baby steps. I got out of bed this morning by eight. I had more mornings this week, where I had to be out of bed by six, because I was helping my daughter get my Grandson to school. Seasonal Affective Disorder makes everything more difficult in the winter. Especially all of the things that take discipline. This is how I really feel…I want to stay in my pajamas, turn on Netflix, have a cup of tea and a bag of cream filled donuts, a few chocolate chip muffins (even better if they are chocolate chocolate chip), and maybe a piece of fruit for breakfast. For lunch, I’d still be in my pajamas watching Netflix, but now I would have a Diet Coke, a couple slices of pizza and a bag of something salty. I might just munch on some chocolate after that. For dinner, I would finally shower so we could go out to eat. I’d feel numb and depressed from watching Netflix all day, so I would order something so loaded with sodium and carbs my kidneys and pancreas would scream in horror.
Do I ever do that? No. But seriously, that is how I feel. That is what I want to do. When you start throwing ideas at me like, go to the gym, start writing that book, go through that closet, well, it is just plain overwhelming. Does that mean I don’t want to be disciplined? No. It just means, I have a mountain to climb while dragging a ball and chain the size comparable to what Ebenezer Scrooge was forging before Marley sent him on his redemptive journey.
I honestly don’t think there are easy answers to the discipline conundrum, other than en media res - in the midst of things. When I was taking a writing class a number of years ago at the college where my spouse works, the instructor brought up this Latin phrase with regards to writing. If you don’t know where to start, just start in the middle of it all. For me, that simply means, just pick something and get started. This morning, I chose to get up and finish this blog post. Writing for today….check! A little later, I’m going to finish putting away the Christmas stuff. Cleaning for today…check! For breakfast I had a multigrain english muffin and a grapefruit. Good eating choices for today…check!
In time, perhaps, one baby step will lead to another and another and another. Disciplined life….Check!
