A Year of Waiting - Tarry

The word tarry as defined in Webster’s Online Dictionary means: to delay or be tardy in action or doing; to linger in expectation; wait; to abide or stay in or at a place; stay, or sojourn. Tarry is an older word used in the first few senses in the 14th century. Ask yourself, how often do I use the word tarry today? We don’t usually say, “I tarried at the train station.” “I’m going to tarry at the seashore.” “I’m sure to tarry in line at the concert.” It sounds rather archaic.

Image by Thomas from Pixabay

When it comes to this word journey I have been on for the year 2024, I like the way tarry opens up other doors and windows to this idea of waiting. As I have noted previously, waiting can be a complete drag, and most of us would not sign up for an adventure in waiting, but our lives are full of lines, traffic jams, delays, and prospects of a future that require we wait.

When I hear the word tarry, I do not think of a long term situation. However, if we look at the King James Version of scripture, which uses a synonym, sojourn we see that the span of time could be quite lengthy.

Now the sojourning of the children of Israel, who dwelt in Egypt, was four hundred and thirty years.
— Exodus 12:40 (KJV)

Still we get the sense that it was not intended to be forever. When God speaks of a long term living situation He often uses the word dwell, or abide. We took a closer look at the word abide in February. You can see that post here.

1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
2 It is like the precious oil upon the head,
Coming down upon the beard,
Even Aaron’s beard,
Coming down upon the edge of his robes.
3 It is like the dew of Hermon
Coming down upon the mountains of Zion;
For there the Lord commanded the blessing—life forever.
— Psalm 133 (NASB 1995)

Psalm 133 has a tone I would associate with a long term living situation. God intended that we dwell together in unity in a place where we experience the blessing of life forever. In this psalm it is a reference to Zion, which we can also look at as eternity with God. With the state many of our current churches are in it can be hard to imagine being able to dwell with those same brothers or sisters together forever in unity. Ha, ha. However, God said it will be true. We won’t just be tarrying, but putting down roots and dwelling.

Image by Filip Loczek from Pixabay

Since we already looked at the idea of abide, I wanted to spend some time thinking about what it means to tarry with God. I have learned, it is essential that we tarry with God as much as we can, especially when our lives are pulling us in so many directions. You might feel on any given day, “I don’t have time to abide. I am too busy.” However, if we don’t find the time, God will give us the time, and that is not always preferable as it usually comes with some sort of difficulty. God is not mean hearted, He loves you purely with everlasting love, and He knows exactly what you need, and that is directly linked to the time you spend with Him.

Let me give you a personal example. I was really struggling for several weeks this past month. I was exhausted, discouraged and my heart felt so heavy. Grief was a blanket I was regularly wrapping up in. Grief over my mom being in a nursing home and not being able to be there to help with her care. Grief over my children who have walked away from the truth of the scripture and the love of Jesus. Grief over the state of our country and the fear of the looming downward spiral. Grief over relationships. Grief over loved ones with cancer and other illnesses. Grief over other people’s kids who were struggling with addictions and various other issues. Grief over my own health. The list goes on.

Image by Tern70 from Pixabay

I am learning the importance of acknowledging these feelings and allowing myself to feel them. They are real, after all, and are felt on the deepest levels. However, we all know we can’t live in those dark places. We always need to return to the light, otherwise the darkness will become an all too comfortable place to abide and dwell.

I felt God pulling me. Whispering to me, “Amy, come to Me. Spend time with Me. Only I can meet every need and help you bear every burden.” I know this to be true, but as you know our flesh wars against us every chance it gets. Finally, one sunny afternoon, I took my Bible and my prayer journal out on the patio and began a search through the scriptures. I was looking for Psalm 34:18

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
— Psalm 34:18 (NASB 1995)

I knew it was in the psalms, but I couldn’t remember where, so I just started leafing through. God brought me two different passages.

8 Depart from me, all you who do iniquity,
For the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping.
9 The Lord has heard my supplication,
The Lord receives my prayer.
— Psalm 6:8-9 (NASB 1995)

Image by wal_172619 from Pixabay

1 “I love You, O Lord, my strength.”
2 The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
3 I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
And I am saved from my enemies.
— Psalm 18:1-3 (NASB 1995)

Image by Enrique from Pixabay

When we tarry with God we can find peace and joy, even in the midst of our grief and pain. When we tarry we spend time, even just a small amount of time, doing the following:

1 - Remembering God’s character - He hears our weeping, our supplication and He receives our prayers. Don’t you love that? God isn’t ashamed of our emotions. He wants us to come and ask. He is our Abba, Father and He loves us. He wants to hear our prayers. He doesn’t just hear them, He receives them. He takes them on as His own. Remember The Bee Keeper? If you don’t, buzz on over to that post for a refresher.

2 - Acknowledging His abilities - He is our strength. He is our rock, our fortress, and our deliverer. He is our shield. He is our salvation. He is our stronghold. He is our refuge. All of these things are His abilities, and He gives them to us without reserve. He can protect, give strength, and get us through anything that comes our way.

7 Then the earth shook and quaked;
And the foundations of the mountains were trembling
And were shaken, because He was angry.
8 Smoke went up out of His nostrils,
And fire from His mouth devoured;
Coals were kindled by it.
9 He bowed the heavens also, and came down
With thick darkness under His feet.
10 He rode upon a cherub and flew;
And He sped upon the wings of the wind.
11 He made darkness His hiding place, His canopy around Him,
Darkness of waters, thick clouds of the skies.
12 From the brightness before Him passed His thick clouds,
Hailstones and coals of fire.
13 The Lord also thundered in the heavens,
And the Most High uttered His voice,
Hailstones and coals of fire.
14 He sent out His arrows, and scattered them,
And lightning flashes in abundance, and routed them.
15 Then the channels of water appeared,
And the foundations of the world were laid bare
At Your rebuke, O Lord,
At the blast of the breath of Your nostrils.
— Psalm 18:7-15 (NASB 1995)

3 - Renewing our understanding of Him - I have read Psalm 18 numerous times, but the Scripture, being that it is living and active, spoke to me anew. The above verses floored me. He is not just a gentle and loving God; He is a powerful, mighty force able to move mountains with a thought. He has, can and will display holy anger when the time is right for His wrath and will to be accomplished. It sets my heart to quaking, but also fills me with hope. He will have the final word, and all that is dark, and ugly, and painful will be burned away in His purest, most holy light.

16 He sent from on high, He took me;
He drew me out of many waters.
17 He delivered me from my strong enemy,
And from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me.
18 They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
But the Lord was my stay.
19 He brought me forth also into a broad place;
He rescued me, because He delighted in me.
— Psalm 18:16-19 (NASB 1995)
49 Therefore I will give thanks to You among the nations, O Lord,
And I will sing praises to Your name.
— Psalm 18:49 (NASB 1995)

4 - Thanking Him for all He has done - If you can only tarry for a few minutes, I think this is the best bench to sit on. Gratitude is known to change hearts, minds, health, and perspective. When we sit for a few minutes on God’s goodness and provision to us it gives us the ability to keep going because we come away with hope. With God there is always hope.

Take it from me, if you are struggling with grief, pain, bitterness or other unresolved feelings and situations it certainly is helpful to talk it out with a trusted friend or counselor, but also don’t forget to tarry for a little while with Jesus. He makes all the difference.

Relentless - Part 6: Home

Laney, could hear the steady beep, beep, beep of the machine monitoring her heart. She knew where she was, and what was going on. She was dying, but an amazing peace surrounded her, a living, breathing presence. She thought back to all those years ago, the night Steve walked out on her; the night the Shadowed Ones tried to get her to take her life; the night she met her unborn daughter. That night she had given her heart back to its maker; the King.

Image by OsloMetX from Pixabay

“GG?” A sweet, young voice called her name and she could feel the tender hand on her own. She opened her eyes.

Her youngest great grandchild stood next to her hospital bed. He was only eight, but his faith in the King was as strong and as deep as a mighty tree. She smiled at him.

“Silas.” Her voice came out in a raspy whisper.

“GG? Are you going to see Him? Are you going to see the King?” His eyes were wide with hopeful, childlike anticipation.

Laney managed a nod. “Yes, sweetheart. Yes I am.”

Laney turned her head and saw the room filled with her family. She could see Steve in every single one of them. The thought made her smile. Steve hadn’t really given up on her, just like the King and His Son, he relentlessly pursued her.

For a long time she carried the guilt of her abortion, and it made seeing Steve even harder, but gradually, time, and the King’s soothing words reminded her she was forgiven. She was made new, and nothing ever captured her attention again, like His love.

Silas squeezed her hand. “GG, when you get there can you tell Gpa I miss him? Can you also say hi to Cocoa, and Nut?”

Laney managed a soft chuckle as she thought about the last two dogs she and Steve had rescued. The grandkids had been a little older than Silas when they adopted a dark brown puppy from a puppy mill, and a fluffy, white, very busy puppy from the Humane Society.

Image by carpenter844 from Pixabay

“Silas, I will tell them, and I’ll tell Myles, Sophie, Frito, and Chip.”

Silas’ brow wrinkled. “Were those your doggies when you were younger?”

“Oh, yes, Silas. Myles and Sophie were the dogs who helped rescue me. Frito and Chip were your dad and Aunt Evi’s dogs as they grew up.”

Steven Jr. stepped forward and put his hands gently on Silas’ shoulders. “Come on, bud. We need to let Gram rest.”

Silas squeezed her hand one more time then let his father lead him a way from the bed. Laney looked at all of the blessings the King had given her. His grace and mercy showed in every single face that stood in that room.

She lifted her hand towards her son. “Steven, come.”

Steven stepped to the bed and put his arm around his mother lifting her so she could see everyone.

“I love every single one of you, and I know you love me. You all know my story, because I never want you to go down the road I did…to run away from the King. No matter what happens in your lives, only He is truly trustworthy, and loves you completely. He alone makes you exactly who you are supposed to be. Always remember.”

Laney leaned back weakly on her son’s arm, and he gently placed her head on the pillow. “Good bye, Mom. We’ll see you again.”

Her daughter, Evi, came over and kissed Laney’s forehead, her tears anointing her mother for her last journey.

Laney closed her eyes.

* * * * * * * * *

When Laney woke, the first thing she felt was warmth. It was as though she was laying on a glorious Mediterranean beach, the sun beaming down on her with a gentle breeze blowing across her skin. She took a breath and realized she could breath without pain, and she could smell. A million different scents blended together filling her with a joy she had never known. She opened her eyes.

Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay

She found herself in a garden, one that caused all the Better Homes and Gardens winners to look faded and tiny in comparison. She sat up. She was on a blanket, and laid out beside her was a picnic complete with gingham napkins, a wicker basket, and food that looked like nothing she had ever seen before. She felt her stomach growl. What a glorious feeling after years of having no appetite.

“Laney.”

She looked up. There stood Steve, and her daughter Elena. They had decided to name her, after they had gotten back together. Both of them looked radiant. Stepping out from behind them was the King, His Son, and their presence, Arabella. Arabella was luminescent, as though a million stars filled her very being.

The Son came to her and reached out His hand. “Laney, we are so glad you are here. We have been waiting for you.”

Love, all at once a force, a thought, a breath, a place, an entity clothed her as His hand touched hers.

She was home.

Rejoice Always: A Case Study - Part 4

Today I am going to finish up this particular case study of Hannah in the Old Testament. Hannah, who was Samuel’s mother, was a woman a great strength, deep desire and phenomenal trust in her God. A portion of the scripture we are going to look at is Hannah’s song of thanksgiving. This is what we are going to focus on and I want to do it just a few verses at a time, so we can slowly savor the thoughts and ideas.

Pixabay

Then Hannah prayed and said,

“My heart exults in the Lord;
My horn is exalted in the Lord,
My mouth speaks boldly against my enemies,
Because I rejoice in Your salvation.
— I Samuel 2:1 (NASB)

Keep in mind, Hannah is singing this song of thanksgiving after she has given her only son, Samuel, to Eli the priest to serve in the House of the Lord.

Hannah exults in the Lord. The word horn as it is used in this passage refers to strength, so Hannah is saying her strength is exalted in the Lord. The word exalt is a verb that means to lift high, to elevate by praise, to raise in rank or to enhance the activity of. In other words we could say, “My heart lifts high because of the Lord.” “My strength is elevated in the Lord.”

I do not know if Hannah was thinking of Penninah, her husband’s other wife, when she sang these words, or if she was thinking of her status as an Israelite, but either way she speaks boldly, because she rejoices in God’s salvation.

There is no one holy like the Lord,
Indeed, there is no one besides You,
Nor is there any rock like our God.
— 1 Samuel 2:2 (NASB)

PIxabay

Hannah states the truth she knows. As an Israelite she has been taught the scriptures, the laws and the commands. Her husband was a committed Jew, making sure he and his family got to the House of the Lord. But now, Hannah also has personal experience. She took her heart’s desire to have a child to God, and He remembered her and provided.

Do not go on boasting so very proudly,
Do not let arrogance come out of your mouth;
For the Lord is a God of knowledge,
And with Him actions are weighed
— 1 Samuel 2:3 (NASB)

Pixabay

I have a feeling Hannah was a pretty observant woman. She knew her scriptures, which probably also meant she knew the history of her people. This verse could have been a reference to Penninah, but for some reason I think Hannah was above that. I think this had more to do with the enemies of Israel.

The following verses are both declarative and somewhat prophetic for the state of Israel and the future of the nation as well.

4 The bows of the mighty are broken to pieces,
But those who have stumbled strap on strength.
5 Those who were full hire themselves out for bread,
But those who were hungry cease to be hungry.
Even the infertile woman gives birth to seven,
But she who has many children languishes.
6 The Lord puts to death and makes alive;
He brings down to Sheol and brings up.
7 The Lord makes poor and rich;
He humbles, He also exalts.
8 He raises the poor from the dust,
He lifts the needy from the garbage heap
To seat them with nobles,
And He gives them a seat of honor as an inheritance;
For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s,
And He set the world on them.
9 He watches over the feet of His godly ones,
But the wicked ones are silenced in darkness;
For not by might shall a person prevail.
10 Those who contend with the Lord will be terrified;
Against them He will thunder in the heavens,
The Lord will judge the ends of the earth;
And He will give strength to His king,
And will exalt the horn of His anointed.”
— 1 Samuel 2:4-10 (NASB)

This ends Hannah’s song, but it certainly does not signify the end of her adventure with God. If we read further in this chapter we see God’s continued blessing on her.

18 Now Samuel was ministering before the Lord, as a boy wearing a linen ephod.
19 And his mother would make for him a little robe and bring it up to him from year to year when she would come up with her husband to offer the yearly sacrifice.
20 Then Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife, and say, “May the Lord give you children from this woman in place of the one she requested of the Lord.” And they went to their own home.

21 The Lord indeed visited Hannah, and she conceived and gave birth to three sons and two daughters. And the boy Samuel grew up before the Lord.
— 1 Samuel 2:18-21 (NASB)

Pixabay

Hannah did not forget Samuel. She lovingly made him a robe and every year when they would go up to offer their yearly sacrifice they would bring the robe and she would give it to him. She kept her promise to the Lord and He gave her more children.

What can we learn from our study of Hannah on the word rejoice?

Our joy is not dependent on our circumstances.

Pixabay

We all like to think that if we only had this or that, or if our circumstances changed then we would have joy. Joy, unlike happiness is eternal. It is a state of being that comes from God and is not dependent on what is going on in our lives.

Remember the definition of rejoice: to give joy to; to feel great joy or delight. We learned from the book of Deuteronomy in the Old Testament that rejoice was a command given by God to the people of Israel and it always coincided with a feast or celebration of remembrance of God’s faithfulness and provision.

Our ability to rejoice is a choice to remember how God has provided and been faithful throughout our lives. Even in our current difficult circumstances.

Our joy is directly linked to our choice to focus on God.

Pixabay

I know this can be hard, but this is what makes the difference between living large and languishing. When I choose to remember God’s faithfulness, I take my eyes off my current difficulties and place them on Him. Even if life has been difficult for a while, I can still focus on His character and His promises. He is good. He is faithful. He is just. He is holy. He is pure. He is righteous.

Back in Chapter 1 we saw when Hannah prayed she lifted up the name of God. She exalted Him. She said, “Lord of armies.” It was a simple statement, but think about all that it encompasses. The word Lord, would signify power and authority. Lord of armies, shows that He is in charge of all those who can bring about justice and peace. That three word statement was one of worship and direct focus on the powerful and amazing God.

Focusing on God and who He is and His great faithfulness will make rejoicing as important as drinking water. It is essential for life.

Like C.S. Lewis, we might be Surprised By Joy.

Pixabay

Hannah found joy even after she gave up her son. She gave him to God before he was even conceived. She had no regrets. She did not waver in her promise. When the boy was old enough, she took him to the House of the Lord and left him there. Yet, she had joy.

In the middle of our adversity, in the crushing weight of our darkness, we will be surprised by joy, because it is God who gives us the ability to rejoice. Just like hope, patience, goodness, kindness and all the other fruit we can bear, it comes from Him.

Rejoice always!

My Mind, His Mind

I am taking a break this week from our study of Romans 8, to talk about fear. There is a lot of fear going around right now because of our current circumstances. Knowing there is a sneaky virus out there that could, in fact kill us, is just a bit unnerving. I know many of us are trying to be positive and continue on as if everything is normal, but let’s face it, this is way beyond normal. Not only are there fears over the possibility of contracting COVID19, or someone we know and love getting it, but the economic repercussions are astronomical and I think are going to affect our country for a while.

I know of many people, including our own family who have been affected by the virus economically. Small businesses, like the one my older daughter has are taking a big hit. My younger daughter, who had to make the transition from in class college to all online college, also lost her serving job, which was a big chunk of her income. We are not alone. I know of others, even in health care who have had their hours cut back or have been let go all together, because their specialties are not needed right now. Will everyone have jobs to return to once this is over? Who knows.

What about our country as a whole. We have had it easy for so long and as much as the government says they are going to help with unemployment, stimulus checks and so on, where exactly are they getting all that money from? So many, many questions and we aren’t even past the point yet where we can let our guard down with regards to the actual virus.

So how do we keep from getting overwhelmed? I’d like to share a few things that help me when I am going through tough times. I hope they will help you as well.

Image by Ebowalker from Pixabay 

Image by Ebowalker from Pixabay 

1 - Feel the fear.

God gave us emotions and they are all good, since He is the one who created them. Fear, anger, joy, sadness, all have their place in our lives for us to be healthy individuals. When my father passed away fourteen years ago, I had to go through the grieving process. The best thing to do when encountering emotions we don’t like is allow yourself to feel them. I have used this analogy on the blog before, but think of emotions in terms of a blanket. When you start feeling an emotion like sadness or fear or anger, take that blanket and wrap yourself up in it. Allow yourself to feel afraid, sad or angry. Do this for a few minutes. If it helps, take an actual blanket and wrap yourself up in it. After a few minutes, take the blanket off, fold the blanket up, and move on to the next thing. Think of folding the blanket as if you are packing that fear or sadness away. You can always take it out again later, but allowing yourself to feel it, experience it and then pack it away, helps you to process more volatile emotions in small bits.

Image by Susanne Pälmer from Pixabay 

Image by Susanne Pälmer from Pixabay 

2 - Exercise.

I have noticed a lot more people out walking since the start of Ohio’s shelter in place order. Moms, dads and kids are all out walking trails at the park or just walking the neighborhood. This is so good for us. It not only serves the purpose of getting our heart rates up, it allows us to breath fresh air and get out of the house. I know for many of us, this time of year can be tricky because of the weather. We have rain, gray overcast skies and wind more often than sun and that can make getting out for a walk much more difficult. If that is the case try doing some indoor exercises as a family. Play a vigorous game of Simon Says or follow the leader all through the house.

Image by Kerstin Riemer from Pixabay

Image by Kerstin Riemer from Pixabay

3 - Schedule alone time.

With social distancing in place, this might seem strange, but hello, we are now at home all the time with our kids or with our spouses. If that doesn’t drive you crazy, nothing will. It is especially important if you are an introvert or someone who needs a regular routine. My husband thinks that being home means I am available to talk to, look at something on YouTube or hang out with whenever he wants. That makes it a little difficult for this introvert and writer. I spent the last two days trying to get two writing pieces finished as I had a deadline. I got the job done, but it is definitely harder without a routine.

Mom’s you need that alone time, whether it is to take a long bath, read your Bible or watch a show on Netflix. If dad is home, ask him to hang with the kids so you can have some sanity time.

Image by Peggy Choucair from Pixabay 

Image by Peggy Choucair from Pixabay 

4 - Make memories.

A friend of my daughter’s and mine has been using this time to schedule special events with her kids. She has been sharing her ideas on Facebook and it looks like they are having a blast. She even turned the house into a Cruise ship, complete with boarding passes, dining assignments, entertainment and of course fun foods. What you do with your family during this time has the potential for very good memories, even if it is something as simple as a game night.

Image by Uwe Jacobs from Pixabay 

Image by Uwe Jacobs from Pixabay 

5 - Fill your mind from the right fountain.

Reading article after article about the virus, our economic situation and so on is not good for you. There are plenty of other good things to fill your mind with. Music, books, fun shows, all can keep your spirits up and keep you centered on the positive. Being thankful is a must during this time as well.

I’d like to leave you with an old hymn. I remember singing this song in my classes when I was at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago, IL. Most classes started with a song and a prayer. I had one particular teacher who loved this song and had us sing it quite often. When I came across it the other night, I realized just how perfect it is for our current situation. Enjoy!

May the Mind of Christ My Savior (Lyrics by Katie Barclay Wilkinson, Music A. Cyril Gould)

1

May the mind of Christ my Savior
Live in me from day to day,
By His love and pow’r controlling
  All I do and say.

2

May the Word of Christ dwell richly
In my heart from hour to hour,
So that all may see I triumph
  Only through His pow’r.

3

May the peace of Christ my Savior
Rule my life in every thing,
That I may be calm to comfort
  Sick and sorrowing.

4

May the love of Jesus fill me,
As the waters fill the sea;
Him exalting, self abasing,
  This is victory.

5

May I run the race before me,
Strong and brave to face the foe,
Looking only unto Jesus
  As I onward go.

6

May His beauty rest upon me
As I seek the lost to win,
And may they forget the channel,
  Seeing only Him.

On Being Thankful

Since Thanksgiving is next week, I think it is, once again, an appropriate time to think about being thankful. I don’t like to be repetitive and every Holiday season since I started blogging in 2016, I have talked about being thankful. The problem is, we forget! Nothing has really changed. Life is still demanding, and we are often stressed out, overwhelmed and tired. Forget those pictures you see on Instagram or those magazine covers you see, real life doesn’t always look like a Martha Stewart photo session.

Image by Karolina Grabowska from Pixabay

I think as women, most of us would love to have homes that looked like Martha Stewart’s or at least some version of it: clean, organized, not in ill repair, nicely decorated for each and every holiday. I’m being honest when I say, I would absolutely love to be that person, but I am not. My house is falling down around me, I have piles of clutter and my clothing boarders on being a hoarder. No lie! This is real life. But, over the course of my 55 years I have learned that I have to make choices. I can choose to spend hours getting rid of clutter and organizing my home, or I can spend valuable time taking care of my grandson while my single daughter goes to school and works. When I stand before the Almighty He won’t be looking at how pristine my house was. He will be taking stock of how I invested my life in the lives of others, who I shared His love with and whether I was thankful or not. On that note I want to share several points on this act of giving thanks.

1 - It is hard work.

Image by annawaldl from Pixabay

Image by annawaldl from Pixabay

The act of giving thanks does not come naturally, at least to most people. There are a few Pollyanna’s out there who see everything in life with rose colored glasses (sorry for all the cliches), but most of us walk around with a little cloud hanging over our heads. I’m not talking about the Cloud where so much of our data is stored (which is a scary thought), but the clouds we create filled with fear, anxiety, bad attitudes, self loathing and despair.

Getting out from beneath the clouds we created is a monumental task, but it can be done. It requires we change our thought patterns. If you have ever done any reading on dementia or Alzheimer’s then you know researchers have found we have a better chance of staving off that mental decline if we are learning new things. They say changing our regular patterns helps. Getting dressed starting on the opposite side, driving a different way to work, learning a musical instrument or a new hobby can all help keep our brains active and growing, rather than becoming like dried up prunes.

The same is true in our thought lives. Being thankful is a matter of choice. You have to choose to be thankful and just like walking starts with a first step, so thankfulness starts with a first choice to find something you are thankful for.

2 - It requires discipline.

Oh no, Amy, did you really use that word again? Ha, ha. Yes, discipline! Just as we need discipline to not eat all those holiday cookies we baked, or eat extra stuffing next Thursday, or just sit on the couch instead of going out for a walk after that big dinner, so too an act of thanksgiving is intentional each and every time you do it.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ll say it again. Before your feet hit the floor in the morning, be thankful. In the shower, be thankful. During the drive to work, be thankful. When you are dealing with a nasty customer, a worried patient or an overtired toddler, be thankful. The more we have the thought of thanksgiving front and center the more likely we will make it a habit, just like exercise, eating right and making other good choices.

3 - It creates connection.

To God -

Thanksgiving isn’t just about changing our attitude and recognizing how blessed we are, it is about connecting. The choice to give thanks connects us to God. There are numerous verses in the Bible on giving thanks.

...in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
— I Thessalonians 5:18 (NASB)
“Therefore I will give thanks to You, O Lord, among the nations, And I will sing praises to Your name.
— 2 Samuel 22:50 (NASB)
Oh give thanks to the Lord, call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples.
— 1 Chronicles 16:8 (NASB)
That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.
— Psalm 30:12 (NASB)
O give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
— 1 Chronicles 16:34 (NASB)
Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name.
— Hebrews 13:15 (NASB)

Even Jesus saw the importance of publicly acknowledging His connection to His Father.

And when He had taken a cup and given thanks, He said, “Take this and share it among yourselves;
— Luke 22:17 (NASB)
Jesus then took the loaves, and having given thanks, He distributed to those who were seated; likewise also of the fish as much as they wanted.
— John 6:11 (NASB)

To others -

Giving thanks brings us together as a family, a work force, a community, a church and a nation. Abraham Lincoln saw the need for a unifying event when he instituted the holiday of Thanksgiving in 1863. While he intended that all states observe the holiday, it was not fully realized until the end of Reconstruction in the 1870’s. While I was not inside our 16th president’s head at the time, I can’t help but think that his purpose included the healing and reunification of our tattered nation after the civil war.

Giving thanks takes work, and discipline, but the benefits are many. As you look ahead to the busyness of the holidays, especially if you are struggling try to find time to be thankful, even if it is while you are making food, driving to work or heading to the mall to look for the perfect gift. Giving thanks will refocus your mind, raise your spirits and reconnect you to God and others.

Have a great week.

Traits of a Godly Person - Goodness

I am skipping from 2 Peter 1 to Galatians 5. I thought it would be useful to talk about goodness while we were still mulling over the idea of virtue. A question comes to mind when looking at these two words side by side. Can a person be virtuous without being good? Can a person be good without being virtuous? It seems to me these two words are very closely related, almost like two peas in a pod. Each one is distinctly its own thing, but they are two parts of a larger entity, which I will call morality. Can we truly have morality without having virtue and goodness?

Image by Ruslana Babenko from Pixabay

Image by Ruslana Babenko from Pixabay

Websters Online Dictionary defines the noun goodness in this way:

1 - the quality or state of being kind, honest, generous, helpful, etc

2 - the quality or state of being useful or effective

From a philosophical perspective, the word goodness and the word virtue are two distinctly different things. A person can be virtuous, meaning they have the qualities of courage, diligence, chastity and so on without being a good person. A person can also be virtuous, but not necessarily good at it. For instance, if a person bravely runs into a burning building to save someone, we would say he has the virtue of bravery, but if he trips and falls and dies in the fire and never saves the person, we would also say he wasn’t very good at following through on that bravery. Even though, I am married to a philosophy professor, I have no desire to go any deeper into the intricacies of virtue and goodness, other than to point out they are two distinct things and one does not necessarily depend on the other.

For this post, I want to stick to the idea of what goodness looks like as a state of being and as a state of doing.

1 - Goodness as a State of Being

It is my personal opinion that in order to be good and express acts of goodness, we must first be good inside. Think about acts that we would deem good: things like kindness, helpfulness, honesty and generosity typically grow out of thoughts that revolve around kindness, helpfulness, honesty and generosity.

Of course there are people who are deceptive and are not truly doing things out of goodness. They are manipulating the world around them by being good, in order to get something, even if it is the satisfaction of feeling like a good person. For this series, I am speaking to people who truly desire to be good and do good things for the sake of the gospel, or for the sake of doing good.

Image by skeeze from Pixabay

Image by skeeze from Pixabay

Let me interject here, that the Bible is clear on our goodness:

9 What then? Are we Jews any better off? No, not at all. For we have already charged that all, both Jews and Greeks, are under sin,
10 as it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one;
11 no one understands;
no one seeks for God.
12 All have turned aside; together they have become
worthless;
no one does good,
not even one.”
13 “Their throat is an open grave;
they use their tongues to deceive.”
“The venom of asps is under their lips.”
14 “Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.”
15 “Their feet are swift to shed blood;
16 in their paths are ruin and misery,
17 and the way of peace they have not known.”
18 “There is no fear of God before their eyes.”
— Romans 3:9-18 (ESV)
Image by Sarah Richter from Pixabay

Image by Sarah Richter from Pixabay

Paul was writing to the Jews at the church in Rome, however, he included everyone in this group, both the Jews and the Greeks, or in other words, Gentiles. Anyone who wasn’t a Jew was a Gentile. So, you see, we are all sinners. No one is righteous. No one is truly good. Sure lots of people do good things and live their entire lives with honesty, kindness, helpfulness and generosity, but for the sake of this study, the trait of a Godly person is that it is a trait that makes him/her Godly, or in other words, more like Jesus. The only one who can truly make us more like Him, is Jesus Himself. That is part of why Galatians 5 lists the fruit of the Spirit. This goodness is His fruit. In order for us to live in a state of goodness, we must immerse ourselves in Jesus; in His words; in His spirit.

You might be asking yourself, “How in all of creation, then, are we really supposed to be this goodness? How are we supposed to live in a state of being good?”

I am so glad you asked, and I am even more glad that Jesus, through His spirit and His inspired Word, gave us a clue. Let’s look two more verses.

8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
— Philippians 4:4-9 (ESV)

God has given us clear direction on how to get our mind going down the goodness track. Every word and action begins in our minds. What we spend our time thinking about will show in our actions. If we think about how many things are wrong with the world, with other people and even with ourselves, we will be anxious and frustrated. If we think about past mistakes and wrong choices, we will be consumed with guilt. However, if we think on these things, as Paul encouraged us to do, we will be more likely to be good people.

2 - Goodness as a State of Doing

Frankly, what good does it do to be good and not act on it. If we are truly good, this should lead us to take action. Those actions will include three areas: goodness towards our God, goodness towards others and goodness towards ourselves. Let’s look at each of these briefly.

Goodness Towards Our God

How is it that we can be good towards God? Just as we choose to commit wrong, we also can choose to commit good. Doing good towards God, would be refraining from choices to sin, committing time to prayer, study of His word and worship. In addition, doing good towards God would include the simple act of thankfulness. Have you ever tried to worship or pray when you are angry and upset? It does not work. However, as soon as we humble ourselves and begin to nurture a thankful heart we change and we bring honor and glory to our God.

Goodness Towards Others

It is easy to be good to people who are good to us, but what about people who are negative, ungrateful and demanding? Does that sound like anyone in your life? I think we all have at least one person in our lives like that. It is easy to hold a grudge; to begin to not like that person, and eventually to not do good to and for that person. God’s Spirit in us, is able to produce good acts, even when we don’t feel like it or want to be good, but we have to choose to let Him have his way and bring to mind verses like those in Philippians and others. A big chunk of exhibiting all of these Godly traits we have been talking about is yielding to His Spirit in our lives and in our circumstances. As we think on good things, acting with goodness towards others, the choice to be and do good will become more natural and Spirit driven.

Goodness Towards Ourselves

Photo credit Rebecca Trumbull

Photo credit Rebecca Trumbull

In all honesty, this is probably one of the areas I struggle with the most. For me, it is easier to be good to others: customers at work, my family, friends, and others, but when it comes to myself, I am my own worst critic. My husband has this problem too. I have definitely softened towards myself over the years as the Spirit has brought me light on the topic of who I really am: created in His image, a royal priesthood, beloved and other wonderfully descriptive words. I still have days where I look in the mirror and am convince I am a cartoon character and should be residing in a comic book. I also have days where I feel so completely inept and unworthy, but these thoughts are not from God. (See my fiction piece The Tower, for a look inside my own struggling soul).

It is important that we give ourselves grace on a regular basis. We are not perfect. We are on a journey, just like everyone. It is also important to treat ourselves with goodness. Look in the mirror and thank yourself for getting rest the night before, showering to get clean and drinking lots of water. Make a mental list of your good traits; those beautiful eyes, pretty collar bones or shapely legs. Give thanks to the One who made you with an incredibly creative mind that desires to please Him.

There can never be enough good in the world, so let’s be sure we are doing what we can to make goodness, not only a state of being, but a state of doing.

Have a great day!



How to Keep Christ in Christmas

Last week I discussed Getting Through the Holidays Without Losing Your Mind. You can read that post by clicking on the link. In that article I gave four areas to look at to take care of yourself during the busy holiday season. Those areas I referred to included, figuring out what you can let go of, setting boundaries, taking care of yourself and practicing gratitude. These things are applicable to all who experience stress during the Christmas season. This week I would like to specifically speak to those who celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday.

Pixabay

Pixabay

For those of us who follow Christ, Christmas is equal in importance to the celebration of Easter. If Jesus had never been born, we wouldn’t have access to the Almighty God, who created us for His good pleasure. Christmas is the epitome of strength becoming weakness; that almighty power coming into acute focus as the baby born to Mary. He was fully God and became fully man. Imagine, a being who is so huge in our incomprehension, being made into a tiny, fertilized seed, growing for nine months in the womb and making the pressurized journey down the birth canal to explode into the light of a sin filled world. To me it is incomprehensible! Yet, I know it to be true. I also know that it was not just love for us, but love for His Father, that drove Jesus to choose obedience to that vulnerable birth and obedience to an even more vulnerable cross. It is this mentality that needs to drive us as we immerse ourselves in the festivities of the Christmas season.

Pixabay

Pixabay

We all know how easy it is to get caught up in the busyness of this season. There’s shopping and decorating, baking and cleaning, wrapping and gathering, all good things, but so often as we focus on getting our to do list checked off, we lose sight of the true meaning of this holiday. I know I do. I can easily become overwhelmed with all of the things I need to get done and fret that I don’t have more time to do them. We also, all know that fretting does not lead to peace and isn’t peace, part of what makes this season so beautiful? At least it should. So, just how can we keep the true meaning part of our focus? Here are several ideas.

Keep Jesus Close - As you shop, wrap, bake and decorate meditate on Him. Remind yourself of His birth and remember that He is with you wherever you go. You might think it is silly, but I often imagine Jesus sitting next to me in the car or standing next to me as I wash dishes. Hey, He endowed all of us with an imagination, so I have no shame in using it. Envisioning Him as a person with me, helps me to focus on the fact that He really is there even though I cannot physically see Him. It helps me to remember why I love Christmas, because it is all about Him.

Listen to Music - There is nothing better, in my mind, to help me get in the true Christmas spirit, than listening to Christmas music. It doesn’t just have to be traditional carols like The First Noel, It Came Upon a Midnight Clear, or Oh Holy Night, but songs that really speak to the message of why we celebrate this season bring the truth back into focus. It is also good to listen to different versions of these Christ-focused carols. For instance my husband and I both agree that Josh Groban’s version of O Holy Night sings as if he was actually there, feeling the peace and beauty of the birth of Jesus. On the other hand, What Child is This, as portrayed by Andrea Bocelli and Mary J. Blige is the most amazing and powerful version of this song I have ever heard. The culmination of their voices is almost angelic as they usher us into the powerful glory of our Lord’s vulnerability.

Having music playing while you are in the car going to the mall, or to a party, or when you are wrapping presents or baking cookies can help to keep your mind in a state of peace and joy throughout the season, even if circumstances around you are difficult.

Watch Christmas Movies - I know a lot of people don’t like to watch the same movies over and over. My husband is one of them, but he tolerates my love for seeing these classic movies every year and occasionally watches them with me. There are fun movies like White Christmas and Jingle All the Way, but there are also movies with a message that transcends this particular holiday. Take for instance A Christmas Carol. A book originally written by Charles Dickens, it was first made into a movie in 1910. Hollywood has come a long way since then, but my two favorite versions are the 1984 version with George C. Scott and the 1992 version with the Muppets. I just finished watching the George C. Scott version the other day and these two scenes really stood out to me.

Obviously, Marely is miserable and it is his knowledge that everything he did in life was meaningless. “….mankind was my business….” Wow! If that doesn’t remind us to take a look at our priorities, I don’t know what will.

I love this scene of transformation. Scrooge was a changed man. Oh, that we would be so changed by the spirit of our Lord Jesus Christ who dwells within us and gives us the ability to be new, each and every day!

Do Something to Serve - I know this seems a bit counter intuitive, when we are so busy, why do something that makes us even busier? The point is to love and worship Jesus by showing love to others. It might be something as simple as baking cookies for your co-workers or leaving a card for your mail carrier, thanking him/her for her hard work. It can be something more complex like visiting shut ins or serving at your local soup kitchen. Often these places are inundated at the holidays, because people are thinking about serving others. Why not schedule your service for February or March, when many of these people are forgotten?

Set Up Some Sort of Memorial - This might be your nativity. Letting your children be involved in getting the pieces out and setting them up helps them to remember Christmas is about Jesus. If you don’t have a nativity and don’t want to make that purchase, decorate a jar with Christmas colors. Every day have you and your family members write down on small slips of paper things they love about Christmas, the Christmas story or things they are thankful for, then on Christmas eve or Christmas morning go through your jar, reading these things out loud. You could then spend a few minutes in prayer, praising and thanking Jesus for all He has done for you.

However you celebrate Christmas and no matter how busy you are, I hope that you will take the time, even if only for a few moments to really think about what the reason for this season really is.

Have a great day!

Getting Through the Holidays Without Losing Your Mind

Most of us are aware, the holidays can be an incredibly, busy time. As women, the bulk of the preparations for holiday gatherings fall on our shoulders. Things might be different for you, but I know for me I am the one who makes the holidays happen. I do the shopping, the decorating, the baking, the meal planning, the wrapping and the packing when we travel out of town. I am also the one to clean up after the gatherings, take down the decorations, get rid of the torn paper, ribbons and bows and unpack and do laundry when we come back into town. This is also a busier time of year at a university bookstore as we are checking in students’ rental books, getting in books for next term and making those available for students who want to buy their books early.

Pixabay

Pixabay

You might wonder why I do it all. Why don’t I delegate some of the holiday responsibility or just not do some of the typical holiday activities? Realistically, I do it because I want to. I love Christmas. I love everything about it. However, I do understand that not everyone feels this way. In fact, contrary to Andy Williams song It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year, the holidays can be the most difficult time of the year.

There are numerous factors that can make the Christmas season more of a burden, rather than a delight. Financial strain, job loss, illness, family tensions, influences from our pasts and the loss of a loved one, can all make the upcoming festivities seem more like a chaotic, commercial filled nightmare.

For those of us who call ourselves Christians, the meaning of Christmas is clear. This is the time we celebrate and remember the birth of Christ, the one we refer to as our Savior and King. Knowing this and believing in Him are key to understanding the Christ part of Christmas. However, our society celebrates Christmas without Christ. The gift giving, family gatherings and well wishes are a way of showing love and of reconnecting with those who are important to us.

I’d like to offer a few ways to get through the holidays without losing your mind, even if you don’t celebrate because of Christ. I will do another post, specifically to that next week.

Pixabay

Pixabay

1 - Pick and Choose

You honestly do not have to do everything. Figure out which things you absolutely love about Christmas and which ones don’t matter as much. I used to send out Christmas cards. I still love receiving cards in the mail, but I have found that is one thing, at this point in my life, that I had to let go of. As much as I love this tradition, I don’t have the time to commit to this holiday task. Perhaps you could do without all the decorating; a single Christmas tree in your window is as much decor as you need. Don’t worry about lights in the windows or a Better Homes and Gardens tree in every room of the house. Love baking, but feeling stressed out? Pick out one or two favorites to make. Let’s face it, often we just plain overdo.

Pixabay

Pixabay

2 - Set Boundaries

You don’t have to go to every holiday party you are invited to. You also don’t have to be at every family gathering. If you have family out of town this can get a little bit overwhelming. For years after we were married my spouse and I traveled back to NY and WI every Christmas. We’d do four or five days in one place, come home for two days and then go to the other place for another four or five days. My spouse being a professor and homeschooling our girls made it easy to make this sort of commitment, but it was hard! We went through bouts of stomach bugs, snowstorms and not being able to have our own Christmas traditions. It was great for our kids in that they built an amazing relationship with both sets of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, but there did come a time when we said, we couldn’t do it any more. Now we usually go to one place for Thanksgiving and the other for New Years, that way we are home for Christmas with plenty of time in between to regroup and prepare for our own holiday celebrations.

Pixabay

Pixabay

3 - Take Care of Yourself

At the holidays we tend to get less sleep and eat more foods that, while delicious, are not necessarily good for us. Extra calories in cookies, rich high fat meals and eating out more when shopping and party going make us feel sluggish and tired. Those types of food need to be eaten in moderation and we still need to make good choices by eating enough fruits and veggies, as well as drinking lots of water.

In addition, make sure you are getting sufficient rest, as well as exercise. I am preaching to the choir here, everyone. I struggle with getting exercise at other times of the year, but the holidays and the cold, drab weather make it even harder, but we all know that exercise is not only good for our physical health, but our mental health as well.

Investing in your hobbies or learning something new can also be good for you. Knitting, painting, playing music or doing puzzles can give your mind a much needed break from the stressors of the season.

If you have the time and resources you can also invest in your well being by scheduling a massage, a manicure or taking yourself out to do something you enjoy, like a movie or a visit to a coffee shop to read a book.

Pixabay

Pixabay

4 - Be Grateful

No matter where you are at in life, you have things you can be thankful for. Food, clothes, heat, a bed to sleep in and a pillow to lay your head on. Things might be difficult for you this Christmas, but you can still find things to be thankful for, if you look. Every morning I am able to get out of bed and stand in a hot shower, I am thankful. During loss, and difficulty gratitude can make the difference between thriving and floundering,

These are just a few ideas of how to get through the holidays without losing your mind. I hope you find these helpful.

Do you have lots to do at this time of year? Be sure to take time to relax and enjoy the season.



Pow! Biff! Sock! Crash! Holy Trouble Batman!

I am foregoing my Walking With the Psalmist post for this month in order to bring you another amazing and trouble filled episode of life! If you have been following my blog for a while now, then you know last May, my hubby and I attempted to take a vacation to Maine. We only got as far as Rochester, NY when I gave birth to a kidney stone. Ouch! Not knowing for sure if the kidney stone passed, I ended up spending a night in the hospital and we made our way home, feeling down and discouraged. 

Pixabay

Pixabay

Fast forward to May of 2018. Here we are again, planning a vacation, this time to my husband's old stomping grounds in various spots around Wisconsin. We were going to camp, hike, and visit with friends and family. Last week, I spent the entire week taking care of my grandson, who came down with whatever the going virus was at the moment for a week long battle with fatigue, fever, runny nose and loss of appetite. Guess who got sick this past Friday? Yup! Me. 

Pixabay

Pixabay

I did my usual regimen of echinacea tea, Zicam and other supplements to try to quicken the down time and speed up healing. No such luck! Today, I developed a fever, though I think I may have had one earlier. Today, I took my temp and it said, 99.5. Now, as you know that is not a high temp, but it is enough to make one feel pooky and even make my skin hurt. In addition to that I spent the night on the couch, coughing. I have always been a cougher. I had childhood asthma and I still think my bronchial tubes get especially irritated when I am sick. 

We were supposed to leave on vacation Thursday, but I am thinking maybe Friday or Saturday. Ugg! I'm sorry. I feel like I am complaining all the time and I don't mean to. I just feel that real life is happening all around and it is not always pretty or easy. Maybe when you read my stories of woe I will help you realize, you are not alone! We are all struggling through this journey together and I want you to know, I get the hard bits!

So when I started thinking about this post, I couldn't help but think of the old campy Batman and Robin show. Those of you who are my age will remember the silly fight scenes with the cartooned in words, "Pow!" "Biff!" and "Sock!" 

The reality is, my life is more like that colorful show of the the 1960's, than what some people are going through. We know more than one person who is battling cancer, several who already know they aren't going to make it. People struggle with such hurts, illness and pain, that I cannot even begin to imagine, but I understand. Sometimes life just sucks! For reals!

Pixabay - shower

This morning, when I was standing in the shower, feeling like crud, I turned my eyes to Jesus. I went back to the basics. I confessed my discouragement and frustration, I praised His name, and then I thanked Him. I thanked Him that I had a comfy couch, a blanket and a pillow to spend the night on. I wasn't coughing and shivering in a box in some alley. I thanked Him for the hot water that felt comforting to my tired and achy body. I thanked Him that, although this morning I wasn't able to keep my shopping and lunch date with one of my daughters, I was able to lay on the couch and watch Netflix. 

in everything give thanks. For this is God’s will for you
— I Thessalonians 5:18 (NET)

I can't remind you (and me) of this verse enough! Even when we are getting struck down and beaten on all sides, it is God's will that we give thanks. I would make the distinction that it says, "in everything give thanks," not "give thanks for everything." I have heard people say you should thank God, even for the bad stuff, but I think it is more the case that when we are going through the bad stuff we continue to give thanks. That, my dear sisters, is what will keep us standing and keep us focused on Him. 

I hope that we will still be able to get away in the next few days, but even if we don't, I feel that once again, God is who God is and He is trustworthy. I hope you will find Him trustworthy as well.