Getting Through the Holidays Without Losing Your Mind

November 28, 2018 by Amy Christensen in Christmas, Christian life, Christian faith blog, Christian faith, Christian blog, Christian blogger, Christian belief, Faith, Faith Blog, Faith blogger, Holiday stress, Coping in the holidays, Making choices, Taking care of yourself, Being Thankful

Most of us are aware, the holidays can be an incredibly, busy time. As women, the bulk of the preparations for holiday gatherings fall on our shoulders. Things might be different for you, but I know for me I am the one who makes the holidays happen. I do the shopping, the decorating, the baking, the meal planning, the wrapping and the packing when we travel out of town. I am also the one to clean up after the gatherings, take down the decorations, get rid of the torn paper, ribbons and bows and unpack and do laundry when we come back into town. This is also a busier time of year at a university bookstore as we are checking in students’ rental books, getting in books for next term and making those available for students who want to buy their books early.

You might wonder why I do it all. Why don’t I delegate some of the holiday responsibility or just not do some of the typical holiday activities? Realistically, I do it because I want to. I love Christmas. I love everything about it. However, I do understand that not everyone feels this way. In fact, contrary to Andy Williams song It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year, the holidays can be the most difficult time of the year.

There are numerous factors that can make the Christmas season more of a burden, rather than a delight. Financial strain, job loss, illness, family tensions, influences from our pasts and the loss of a loved one, can all make the upcoming festivities seem more like a chaotic, commercial filled nightmare.

For those of us who call ourselves Christians, the meaning of Christmas is clear. This is the time we celebrate and remember the birth of Christ, the one we refer to as our Savior and King. Knowing this and believing in Him are key to understanding the Christ part of Christmas. However, our society celebrates Christmas without Christ. The gift giving, family gatherings and well wishes are a way of showing love and of reconnecting with those who are important to us.

I’d like to offer a few ways to get through the holidays without losing your mind, even if you don’t celebrate because of Christ. I will do another post, specifically to that next week.

1 - Pick and Choose

You honestly do not have to do everything. Figure out which things you absolutely love about Christmas and which ones don’t matter as much. I used to send out Christmas cards. I still love receiving cards in the mail, but I have found that is one thing, at this point in my life, that I had to let go of. As much as I love this tradition, I don’t have the time to commit to this holiday task. Perhaps you could do without all the decorating; a single Christmas tree in your window is as much decor as you need. Don’t worry about lights in the windows or a Better Homes and Gardens tree in every room of the house. Love baking, but feeling stressed out? Pick out one or two favorites to make. Let’s face it, often we just plain overdo.

2 - Set Boundaries

You don’t have to go to every holiday party you are invited to. You also don’t have to be at every family gathering. If you have family out of town this can get a little bit overwhelming. For years after we were married my spouse and I traveled back to NY and WI every Christmas. We’d do four or five days in one place, come home for two days and then go to the other place for another four or five days. My spouse being a professor and homeschooling our girls made it easy to make this sort of commitment, but it was hard! We went through bouts of stomach bugs, snowstorms and not being able to have our own Christmas traditions. It was great for our kids in that they built an amazing relationship with both sets of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, but there did come a time when we said, we couldn’t do it any more. Now we usually go to one place for Thanksgiving and the other for New Years, that way we are home for Christmas with plenty of time in between to regroup and prepare for our own holiday celebrations.

3 - Take Care of Yourself

At the holidays we tend to get less sleep and eat more foods that, while delicious, are not necessarily good for us. Extra calories in cookies, rich high fat meals and eating out more when shopping and party going make us feel sluggish and tired. Those types of food need to be eaten in moderation and we still need to make good choices by eating enough fruits and veggies, as well as drinking lots of water.

In addition, make sure you are getting sufficient rest, as well as exercise. I am preaching to the choir here, everyone. I struggle with getting exercise at other times of the year, but the holidays and the cold, drab weather make it even harder, but we all know that exercise is not only good for our physical health, but our mental health as well.

Investing in your hobbies or learning something new can also be good for you. Knitting, painting, playing music or doing puzzles can give your mind a much needed break from the stressors of the season.

If you have the time and resources you can also invest in your well being by scheduling a massage, a manicure or taking yourself out to do something you enjoy, like a movie or a visit to a coffee shop to read a book.

4 - Be Grateful

No matter where you are at in life, you have things you can be thankful for. Food, clothes, heat, a bed to sleep in and a pillow to lay your head on. Things might be difficult for you this Christmas, but you can still find things to be thankful for, if you look. Every morning I am able to get out of bed and stand in a hot shower, I am thankful. During loss, and difficulty gratitude can make the difference between thriving and floundering,

These are just a few ideas of how to get through the holidays without losing your mind. I hope you find these helpful.

Do you have lots to do at this time of year? Be sure to take time to relax and enjoy the season.

Thanksgiving Therapy

November 14, 2018 by Amy Christensen

I really love the holidays! I love Thanksgiving, because to me it signifies the beginning of the Christmas season. Even as I type this I am already listening to Christmas music. I used to discipline myself to not do anything Christmasy until December. Then I allowed myself to start investing in Christmas the day after Thanksgiving. A few years ago, I decided that I could listen to Christmas music as I was roasting the turkey and preparing other Thanksgiving foods on that national holiday. Last year was the first time that I decided to start listening to Christmas music at the beginning of Thanksgiving week. Now look at me!

My reasons for beginning Christmas a bit early are many, but probably the most pertinent of those is that it helps bring my mind back to what I am so eternally grateful for. Since Thanksgiving is next Thursday (hard to believe), I thought I would take these next two weeks to focus on the act of giving thanks.

This week I wanted to focus on the therapeutic effects of giving thanks. In a couple of my previous posts revolving around the idea of thankfulness you can see the scriptural foundation provided by God Himself for a thankful heart. Three Little Commands - Give Thanks shares the small but powerful command we are given.

“...in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

— 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NASB)

Why do you think God gave us this command? Why is this His will for us in Christ Jesus? My personal belief is God knows His creation better than His creation knows themselves. I’d like to look at a familiar passage and relate how giving thanks is not only God’s will for us, but essential to our well being.

“4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!
5 Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.
9 The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

— Philippians 4:4-9 (NASB)

Rejoice in the Lord - The above passage begins with another command. “Rejoice in the Lord always.” The first step in this thanksgiving therapy is to look to God. It says to rejoice in the Lord, not in our hobbies, our future plans, our wealth or the articles we read on the internet. It also states that we are to do it always. I believe that means all the time, not just when we feel it, but especially when we don’t feel it. God knows that as we look at Him and rejoice we will be brought back to center.

Do Not Be Anxious - Another command? You bet. It doesn’t say, “Well, if you feel like it today, could you possibly be a little less afraid; a little less anxious; a little less worried…but hey if not, that’s okay.” No! God spoke through Paul when he wrote these words and it says, “Be Anxious for nothing…” However, God knowing just who we are (because He made us) gives us the benefit of the doubt. If we are anxious He tells us what to do….that is where the but comes in.

In Everything by Prayer and Supplication - God wants us to bring it all to Him. If He can’t get you to focus on Him by rejoicing, then bring all your worries, stress, fears, and struggles to Him. Talk to Him. The word supplicate means to entreat God humbly. So get on your knees or lay flat on your face and let Him know what is going on in your heart of hearts. He is big enough to handle it.

There is a condition here, and this is where my thoughts are leading. The condition is that we entreat Him with THANKSGIVING. The condition is there for a purpose, one that God and only God fully understands because it is He who created us. Why do we need to make our requests to Him with thanksgiving?

And the Peace of God, Which Surpasses All Comprehension, Will Guard Your Hearts and Your Minds in Christ Jesus.

What is so special about this peace?

It is of God. We didn’t conjure it up ourselves.
It surpasses all our understanding. The fact that this peace has the ability to surpass anything we can understand, shows that it is a supernatural peace.
It has a protective ability. This peace is able to protect our hearts, when they have been rent into pieces by lost love, death or other tragedies. This peace is able to protect our minds, when they begin that downward spiral into anxiety and despair.
It is completely connected to the person of Jesus Christ. This peace is not attainable apart from Him.

The connection between the elements of prayer and thanksgiving was put into place by God because He knew the essential nature of thankfulness in the human heart. In order for us to be completely at peace, we must practice thankfulness.

However, God, being the merciful One that He is added a few more thoughts.

Dwell on These Things - Not only does He give the command, then provide the steps to accomplish the command, He adds an element of active faith to the mix. Not many of us would be content to just retreat into our closets and pray with thanksgiving, we want to be doing something. Here is a list of things to think about. Things that are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute and excellent. How can we still be fearful or discouraged if we are truly thinking on a list like this? He tells us to dwell on these things. That means we are to think about them on a very regular basis. To dwell means to live there. Live where there are true things. Live where there are pure things. Live where there are lovely things.

Finally, the Apostle Paul encourages the readers of this letter to this end:

Practice These Things - Once you have heard and seen and learned the way to do something, then practice it. Practice is how we become proficient at doing things. Riding a bike, driving a car, learning a job, writing, reading, tying our shoes, all had to be practiced and were practiced after hearing and seeing and learning how to do them. In the same way the ability to rejoice and not be anxious are learned as we practice the art of prayer with thanksgiving while dwelling on these things.

I hope that reading this will encourage you to hear and see and learn how to be more thankful and less stressed as we enter in to the holiday season.

A Belief that Leads to Commitment

November 07, 2018 by Amy Christensen in christian, Christian belief, Christian blog, Christian blogger, Christian faith, Christian faith blog, Christian life, Faith, Faith Blog, Faith blogger, Belief, Commitment

Commitment seems to be a thing of the past. How many people do you know that are going through divorces, or never made the marriage leap in the first place? How often do you run across people who have changed jobs more times than you can count or who have alienated their families due to disagreements or just different ways of looking at things? It seems that the concept of being committed, whether to a person, a job, the pursuit of a dream or a belief is becoming a way of thinking and living that is no longer looked upon as attainable.

In relationships, people might struggle with commitment issues due to factors from their past, feelings from the present or fear of the future. It may be hard to make a commitment, when you grew up in a home that was affected by messy divorce. Anxiety over meeting new people, starting a new job or traveling to a new place might keep people from committing to a new significant other, applying for a job or moving to find a better economic situation. Often, it is easier to commit to what is already known, ie. a bad relationship, a lousy job or comfortable bad habits, than to change to something new.

I came across this quote from My Utmost for His Highest when I was reading today.

“To believe is to commit. In the area of intellectual learning I commit myself mentally, and reject anything not related to that belief. In the realm of personal belief I commit myself morally to my convictions and refuse to compromise. But in intimate personal belief I commit myself spiritually to Jesus Christ and make a determination to be dominated by Him alone.”

— My Utmost for His Highest - Oswald Chambers - November 6th

What I find fascinating and eye opening about these few sentences is that it seems to be easier to make a commitment in the first two areas, than in the third. When it comes to intellectual learning, I live with a philosophy professor. There are few who are as committed to intellectual learning as those who have studied the works of people long dead, like Aristotle, Plato, Nietzsche, and Kierkegaard. Learning is an activity that many commit themselves to, but we must ask the question are we more committed to intellectual pursuits than to people?

Getting an education is important. Parents often push their children to do well in school and go on to college so they can have a career, get a good job and support themselves. However, I bet everyone of us knows a young adult who just can’t seem to make it in college, or who would rather start a band in their garage, than spend all that money to go to college where they end up with boat loads of debt and no guarantee of a job afterwards. I understand. More than a few young people have worked to get a degree and end up being a server at a restaurant because it pays better.

When we start talking about personal belief and committing ourselves to our convictions, I think that this too can be easier to actualize than making a commitment to a person. We hear get all sorts of input about people’s convictions. Many times convictions become a battle ground for differing opinions, which we have seen can lead to anger and even violence. Having personal convictions and beliefs are also important, but are they more important than having relationships?

When Oswald spoke about intimate personal belief, he suggests something more than an intellectual pursuit or a personal conviction. He is talking about a relationship. He says that when we have that intimate personal belief we are committing ourselves to Jesus Christ.

Let’s take a closer look at some of the words used in this quote:

Intimate - Webster’s online dictionary defines this word in these ways:

- marked by a warm friendship developed through long association

- informal warmth or privacy

- engaged in, involving, or marked by sex or sexual relations

- of a very personal or private nature

- marked by very close associate, contact or familiarity

These are not the actions of people who don’t have some sort of relationship.

When we talk about intimate belief we are talking about belief in a person, or in this case Jesus, who is trustworthy and with whom we are able to be ourselves.

Commit - Websters gives these definitions:

- to carry into action deliberately

- obligate or bind

- to put into charge or trust

- to obligate or pledge oneself

When we commit to Jesus we are pledging ourselves to Him. This is not about our convictions or what we have learned or know. This commitment is a matter of choice and a matter of trust. In a sense we are to bind ourselves to Him.

Spiritually - Usually when we hear this word we think of that which is not physical. Typically we associate the term spiritual with things related to church, heaven, hell and the soul. As Christ followers most of us believe that we have a spirit and there is a Holy Spirit, who acts in accordance with the will of God the Father and who also translates the person of Christ into our own spirits. Spirituality is thought, by most to be a very intimate part of who we are. This would concur with Chamber’s idea that we are to commit ourselves spiritually, to Christ. This is the most intimate way to commit ourselves to another person.

Determine - When we determine to do something we are making a decision. This decision is come to after thought and contemplation. Usually, when we determine something it is because we have come to believe that this particular choice is what we want and what is best for us. We determine to eat better, exercise or get more sleep. We determine to not let anxiety run our lives. We determine to change, improve or become a better person.

In the same way when we commit to Jesus in spiritual intimacy we have made a choice that involves a relationship with Him. What follows in Oswald’s quote may make the hackles on your neck go up, but here it is.

Dominated - Oswald says that we are determined to be dominated by Christ alone. We hear this word most often in association with something negative. Women are dominated by men. Children are dominated by bullies. Third world countries are dominated by power hungry leaders. I’m sure given enough time we could come up with a long list of who’s dominating whom.

Is Oswald loopy to think that we should determine to be dominated by Christ alone? I think not. I completely agree with him. Who better to dominate us than one who truly has our best interests at heart. This is not a domination as a dictator trying to turn us into mindless zombies. On the contrary, domination by Christ is a life of truest bliss and freedom.

The question then is this, do you have an intimate personal belief that has lead you to commit? I am using this in relation to our spiritual nature, but this could also be true in everyday life. Being committed to a person in a relationship, whether in marriage, as a parent or a child or in our friendships must come from an intimate personal belief that this person we are committed to is valuable. This holds true in our jobs or as we go about our busy lives. Every person we come into contact with has value and it is our belief that will determine how we commit to treating others.

“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.”

— Psalm 37:5 (ESV)

“Into your hand I commit my spirit; you have redeemed me, O Lord, faithful God.”

— Psalm 31:5 (ESV)

“Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.”

— Proverbs 16:3 (ESV)

How to Fight Giants

November 01, 2018 by Amy Christensen in Battling giants, Battle Fatigue, Being afraid, Being God's child, Being in Christ, Belief, Blogging, Christ-like, Christian allegory, Christian belief, Christian blog, Christian blogger, Christian faith, Christian faith blog, Christian life, Faith, Faith Blog, Faith blogger, God's protection, God's strength, God's word, God's work in my life, Knowing God, Our relationship to God, our walk with God, Prayer, Pray without ceasing, Scripture, Selfishness, Struggling, the Christian life, You are loved, You are valuable

A couple of weeks ago I posted a fiction piece that I wrote about giants. (See that post here.) A week after that I shared with you a few of the giants that I regularly fight in my life. (See that post here.) This week I would like to focus on a few methods for fighting the giants in your life.

We all are battling giants. Most of these we live with, without even thinking about it. Fear, anxiety, depression and selfishness are just a few of the giants that many of us regularly battle. Perhaps you have let the giants take over. Maybe they have moved into your life, unpacked their bags and decided to stay a while. Are you even aware of the giants that are claiming ownership to your space: physical, emotional and spiritual? Often, the first step to fighting against a giant is to acknowledge the “elephant in the room”.

Name Your Giants

I think it is essential to know what you are fighting. Sometimes we might name one thing, but in reality it is something else. For instance, you might think that the giant you are battling is depression, but in reality it is fear. Scrutinizing your feelings and the circumstances behind them can help to identify what the real giant aka problem is. Here is a list of questions you can ask that might help to identify what giants are hanging out at your place.

When do I usually notice this feeling/giant (name the feeling - is it fear, sadness, frustration, anger, self-loathing, etc.)?
How often does this feeling happen? Is it only once in a while, every day, only in certain seasons, and so on. I struggle with discouragement, but it is much more prominent during the winter months when there is less sunshine. You can see a previous post I did here on Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Are there certain triggers that bring this feeling on or make this giant appear? For example, I struggle with fear, as I pointed out in my previous post. Things out of the norm will often produce a feeling of fear in me. It can be something mundane like going to the dentist, or it can be something fun like planning a trip where I have to fly.

I believe being able to recognize what giant you are fighting will enable you to have victory more often.

Study Your Giants

When dealing with any enemy or problem it is best to come at it with some sort of knowledge base. If you deal with anxiety read up on anxiety disorder. Don’t just read secular works, pick a few that are written from a Christian, Biblical perspective. Know what the root causes of anxiety are. Become more self aware, not to the point of becoming self absorbed, but to the point of understanding yourself and the people and circumstances around you, so that you know why you are feeling what you are feeling.

Until I finally read up on Seasonal Affective Disorder, I had no idea why I felt so overwhelmed and discouraged during the winter months. Obviously, we all get a little tired of the long winter with the cold, illness and unpredictable weather, but my fatigue was more so than usual and my desire to crawl into a warm hole with a fuzzy blanket was very real. Once I began to look into it, just reading a few online articles I realized that was, what affected me every winter. Knowing what it was and why it happened actually made me feel better. It also gave me access to resources to actually fight against this seasonal giant.

Fight Your Giants

Before I get to far into this portion of the post I want to clarify that not everyone is capable of fighting their giants without help. Depression can be so extreme that a person can’t even get out of bed, let alone raise a sword and fight. I am not a professional counselor or a licensed, practicing psychiatrist. These ideas are merely coming from my own experiences. I trust that if you feel your giants are too big to battle on your own that you will seek help, both medically and/or psychologically.

1 - Pray. In our lives as Christians there is nothing more powerful or effective in fighting our giants than prayer. Prayer puts us in contact with the Almighty God and it is from Him that we receive the power, wisdom and tools for fighting our giants.

“The Lord has heard my supplication, The Lord receives my prayer.”

— Psalm 6:9 (NASB)

“May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble! May the name of the God of Jacob set you securely on high!”

— Psalm 20:1 (NASB)

“Contend, O Lord, with those who contend with me; Fight against those who fight against me.”

— Psalm 35:1 (NASB)

“Deliver me from my enemies, O my God; Set me securely on high away from those who rise up against me.”

— Psalm 59:1 (NASB)

2 - Use scripture. God’s word is powerful. It is compared to a double edged sword. (Hebrews 4:12) Since the Bible is compared to a weapon, it would seem to make sense that we can use it as one. That being said, what does wielding the scripture as a sword look like? That depends on what giants you are battling.

Let me use my own giant called Fear as an example. I have learned over the course of my life that in order to counteract thinking that does not line up with God’s will for us, I have to got to the Bible and find the scriptures that deal with those thoughts. In the case of fear, these are a few of the arrows, I have in my quiver.

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.”

— I John 4:18 (NASB)

“For God did not give us a Spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

— 2 Timothy 1:7 (NET)

If God did not give me fear, then where is it coming from? You bet! From the same place the giants originate, Satan. We would have never known fear except that sin entered into the world. My ability to remember and recognize God’s word as truth, makes a big difference in how effective my weapons are going to be against the giants.

When I become afraid, I go back to the scripture. I quote it, I yell it, I stomp and I shout. My goal is to chase the giant out of my house. I tell him he is not welcome in my life and according to God’s word he has no hold over me. Whether your giant is fear or food, depression or discouragement, selfishness or sexual addictions, scripture is the weapon to ram through that beast’s beating heart!

3 - Speak truth. In a world where truth has become a relative thing with no concrete foundation it may sound strange to say speak truth, when we are talking about battling giants. However, since as Christ followers we believe God’s word to be truth, then it makes sense to speak this truth and back it with scripture.

If you are being crushed by the giant called Worthless speak this truth,

“I am made in the image of God; Genesis 1.”

“I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Psalm 139.”

“I am loved with an everlasting love; Jeremiah 31.”

“I am chosen; I am royal; I am holy; I Peter 2:9.”

That is truth and that does not sound like a person who is worthless. That truth can help to chase those giants away.

I hope that reading this will give you hope. We all struggle with these giants that are constantly getting in the way of living a free life. I also hope these tips will give you some relief and some victory as you battle your giants.