His Design in Our Desires

I was recently going through a struggle brought on, in part by two problems, the long dreary wearies of winter with no sunshine, and a post New Year bout with Covid. Seasonal Affective Disorder always leaves me feeling more blue during the short gray days and longer dark nights of this season. I really need to invest in a light to help with that. Getting sick on top of SAD and it being after the holidays left me in a pretty low place. Being in a low place usually makes me more susceptible to the enemy’s tactics of blame and self pity.

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It came to my attention that a friend of mine was in a similar place, but for her the struggle was from a difficult marriage. She had texted me asking for the name of the counselor I was going to. I could tell by the tone of her text that she was not in a good place. We ended up having a video chat that ended with us both in prayer for one another. The interesting thing about our struggles, was that even though they stemmed from different sources we were still looking for the same things: love, affirmation, and companionship.

Over the next 24 hours, both my friend and I were on our own journeys seeking the Lord, knowing that we wanted to be spiritually right, but also not quite sure what to do with these desires that we had. Were these desires wrong? Were we just supposed to not think about them? Were we supposed to sacrifice them on the altar of, “Well, that’s just what Christians are supposed to do without?”

The Lord in His kindness took me to a passage in Isaiah, which I felt not only applied to myself, but applied to my friend, so I texted her a few of those verses. (My friend was also being led by the Lord to a different passage in the Psalms, which she also shared with me.)

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10 They will not hunger or thirst,
Nor will the scorching heat or sun strike them down;
For He who has compassion on them will lead them
And will guide them to springs of water.
11 “I will make all My mountains a road,
And My highways will be raised up....

13 ...Shout for joy, O heavens! And rejoice, O earth!
Break forth into joyful shouting, O mountains!
For the Lord has comforted His people
And will have compassion on His afflicted.
— Isaiah 49:10-11,13 (NASB 1995)

The Lord was telling us that our desires were not only real, but good. The desire for food and water is not a wrong desire. In fact, just like food and water is a desire that must be met, our desire for love, companionship and affirmation are just as necessary.

My husband and I like to watch survival shows like Dual Survivor, Dude Your Screwed, and most recently Alone. The thing I have found fascinating is that not everyone leaves due to starvation or injury. In fact, often times it is the aloneness of their situation that finally drives them to pushing the button to tap out. We are made to be in relationship, and in community.

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Over my years as a church going Christian I have seen problems arise when we forget that the church is the body of Christ, and we are meant to look out and care for each other. That means taking the time to listen, to pray, and to help. We also have to be willing to be vulnerable. When a person is struggling whether in a hard marriage, a tenuous work environment, or a changing family dynamic the enemy will always take advantage, and He will always blame.

“Well if he only would….”

“Well, if I don’t get that promotion then I’m out…”

“If she would just listen when I tell her something…”

We suddenly become all about our rights and desires. Is that what God called us to? Or did He call us to trust in Him?

The above verses tell us we will not hunger or thirst. We will not be struck down by the sun by day nor the moon by night (Psalm 121:6). This isn’t just a reference to physical hunger, thirst and discomfort. It applies to every aspect of our being. God cares for every desire and care we have.

We are created in His image. We are able to reason, love, care, act justly, and have compassion. God doesn’t just say He’s going to meet our needs, He does meet our needs and our desires, every single one. When we look back at Isaiah 49:10 it says God has compassion on His people and He will guide them to springs of water.

As we continue to read the passage we hear the Lord say, “I will make all my mountains a road, and my highways will be raised up…” That tells me that God is going to provide a way for those desires to be met. The thing we need to understand is that we are limited where God is not. We see things in a physical dimension, but He works in both the physical and the spiritual.

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4 Delight yourself in the Lord;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
— Psalm 37:4 (NASB 1995)

Could anything be more simple or sure than the meaning of this verse? If we delight in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our hearts. Every desire we have for love, companionship and affirmation will be lavishly and fully met by our Lord and Savior.

Don’t think this is going to be easy. Verse 13 shows us that we are going to have affliction. There may be seasons where we don’t feel the love. There might be weeks where the blame game seems to work better at every bend and turn. However, what does it say about God? He comforts His people and has compassion on the afflicted. He’s got you. He’s got your desires, every, single one. Our job is to:

Be still and know He is God - Psalm 46:10

Remember we are not condemned - Romans 8:1

Give it all to Him, because He cares for us - 1 Peter 5:7

As we journey into this new year, I hope you will recognize every opportunity to know Him more deeply and that every desire you have will be filled in Him.

Mulling it Over - Romans 8:12-13

This week’s Mulling it Over passage is going to continue to look at Romans chapter 8. The book of Romans is full of doctrine that relates specifically to our standing before God without Christ and with Christ. It deals, in detail, with the flesh versus the Spirit and how that plays out in our lives culminating either in the devastation and destruction of the one (flesh), or the fullness and life of the other (Spirit).

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Today I am only going to look at two verses.

12 So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh—
13 for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
— Romans 8:12-13 (NASB 1995)

Verse 12 tells us, “…we are under obligation…” What does it mean to be under obligation? Being obligated means I have a duty or responsibility to someone or something. In this case Paul is telling us we have a responsibility “…not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh.” We are duty bound to not be living according to the flesh. That sounds pretty serious, doesn’t it? The next verse tells us why.

Verse 13 begins with a devastating statement. “For if you are living according to the flesh, you must die…” Whoa! Now wait a minute. How can we not be living according to the flesh? We are, after all, walking in our skin, or flesh. In a manner of speaking we are always living in the flesh.

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The idea of “living according to the flesh” isn’t speaking just of the physical, fleshly body we are stuck in while on this earth. Living according to the flesh, means that we are letting our flesh rule our lives. We are living for our desires, our passions, our lusts and our self. We want what we want, when we want it. If you are a Christ follower and think you no longer live according to the flesh, don’t fool yourself. We are in a constant state of dying at all times. Look at the rest of verse 13.

“…But if, by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the the body, you will live.” The tense of the word “putting” means we are doing it on a regular basis. If it had been in the past, it would have said, “…if, by the Spirit you put to death…” This would have changed the meaning making it that we only had to put our flesh to death once.

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Before you get discouraged let’s remember what Christ did on the cross. Verse 3 of Roman’s 8 reminds us that God sent his own Son to condemn sin in the flesh. Jesus was made flesh for us and then put to death for us. The moment we align ourselves with Christ we have His blood covering us and giving us the ability to die to sin, and flesh. We are dead, because of what sin has done, but alive because of what Christ has done.

How do we put this flesh to death on a regular basis? If you are like me, you might find yourself easily sliding into old habits like feeling sorry for yourself, thinking you are not enough, turning to food or purchasing items to make you feel better. These are all “fleshly” rather than “Spiritual” forms of coping. I am learning, to battle and put to death the flesh there are several things I need to do.

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1 - Keep short accounts. Checking in with God regularly helps me to keep my mind and heart where it needs to be and keeps me from focusing on the flesh.

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2 - Find some accountability. I have a good friend that I know I can text any time and she will pray for and with me. I also have a group of women I meet with virtually once a week for a Bible study, that I know I could check in with any one of them if I am struggling with my flesh.

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3 - Memorize God’s word. This is one I don’t do nearly enough, in fact hardly at all, and of that I am ashamed. God’s word is our sword, and if you want a quick way to put your flesh to death, the sword of the Spirit is it.

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4 - Pray without ceasing. You all know this from 1 Thessalonians 5:17, but we need to make it a reality in our lives. Praying doesn’t have to be an on your knees posture. It isn’t about physical posture, but heart posture, although, getting on my knees or even flat on my face on the floor does wonders for my prayer life and for my dying to the flesh.

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5 - My sister-in-law gave me some great advice, which she had gotten from a book she was reading, take life 24 hours at a time. When you wake up in the morning, before you even get out of bed, dedicate the next 24 hour period to God, submitting to His divine appointments. Sometimes, life just doesn’t go as planned, but when we begin to see that each 24 hour day is a gift from Him, even the bad stuff can be used for our growth and His glory. This is Spirit living, not flesh living.

Believe me ladies when I say, I am struggling right now to live in the Spirit rather than the flesh, but even taking the time to mull over these two verses has brought me back to His center, and that is the only way we can really live.

Next month we will delve deeper into Romans 8.

Relentless - Part 5: Rock Bottom

“Laney! What are you doing?”

Laney heard her boyfriend’s voice, but she couldn’t remember where they were. Were they at home? Where were the dogs? She suddenly felt Steve shaking her.

“Laney, what did you do? You killed our baby…my baby…” Steve shook her harder. “Open your eyes, damn it! Look at me!”

Laney forced her eyes to open. She tried to smile, but her face didn't seem to want to respond to what her brain was telling it to do.

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“…hey, babe…what…time is it?”

Steve shoved her back into the couch. She usually didn’t make it that far after a binge.

“I’m done, Laney. You are on your own. That’s really what you wanted anyway, wasn’t it. You aren’t selfish, you are lost.”

Steve left, slamming the door.

Laney tried to say something, but nothing would come out. She tried to sit up, but she was so hungover she knew that wouldn’t be a good idea.

What was his problem anyway?

“It was my choice…” The words rang out into the empty room sounding like a hollow bell. “Myles? Sophie?”

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“It was my choice…” she muttered as she fell back asleep.

When she woke some time later it was dark. Not merely the darkness of night, but an inky, thick blackness that seemed to suck the breath out of her. Laney felt paralyzed, but she knew it wasn’t the alcohol and drugs, this was the paralysis of fear.

“Was it your choice?” A smooth voice whispered out of the blackness.

Laney forced herself to sit up. She knew her eyes were open, but why couldn’t she see anything. She felt the fear, like a leggy spider crawling up the back of her neck.

“My body! My choice!” She barked out the words like an angry, caged beast.

“My, my, so adamant, so angry, so vulnerable.” The voice taunted her, like a calm, stoic bully.

“Go away! Leave me alone!”

“But where would the fun be in that? My friends and I have been watching you, following you, waiting for you. You may have the King’s seal, but we can still make your life miserable. That’s really what you want anyway, isn’t it? To be miserable?”

Laney thought the voice sounded strangely like Steve’s.

“You are pathetic. You sold those dumb, four legged beasts to support your growing addiction, and then, last week you sold your own fetus.”

The voice began to giggle. The giggle turned into maniacal, stark raving hysteria. That voice was joined by another, and another, and another, until Laney was sure the laughter was coming from inside her head.

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She covered her ears and dropped to her knees on the floor her screams becoming the crazed harmony to the unhinged laughter.

“You aren’t real! You’re just some sort of delusion from the alcohol and drugs. Go away!”

The laughing slowed, but it was replaced by whispers that sounded, oddly, like the hissing of a snake. Laney thought she had finally taken too many hallucinogenics, that her brain would no longer be able to tell the difference between the trip and reality. But then the voice started speaking again.

“I’m just a delusion? A monster of your own making? Tell me, Laney, what would the perfect enemy look like? A man with a funny little mustache who commanded armies and almost took over the world? Or how about a man who took his lovers home, then killed and ate them for dinner? No, no, no, my dear girl. I am perfection. You see I have convinced the world that I don’t exist. I can go about my business of manipulating and destroying lives without anyone ever being the wiser. You have talked yourself into believing a lie, and you even have the King’s seal. All of humanity is pathetic…”

Laney heard what the voice was saying, but she couldn’t make sense of it. “Go away!”

“Come now, Laney. The party is just getting started. You know what, I am a rather busy Being, why don’t we just get this over with. Get that bottle of pills that you have hiding in the cereal box in the cupboard. If you take them all, it should be over in just a few hours.”

Laney gasped. How did he know about the pills? She smirked. Well, of course he would. He was her made up delusion.

“Why not,” she said as she struggled to crawl across the floor towards the kitchen.

“That’s right, Laney. You have nothing left to live for. No dogs, no family. Even your boyfriend, who had bought a ring, left you.”

Laney stopped. “Steve, bought me a ring?”

She felt something begin to twist inside of her. She ignored it and kept moving in the direction of what she thought might be the kitchen. She had to get those pills.

The voice dug in again. “He wanted to marry you. Can you believe he loved you? You made the right choice, you know. You would have never been a good mother.”

“He loved me?”

“Oh, come on Laney! You know he was only marrying you because of the baby. But, even that you have thrown away…the pills are waiting my dear. They will make all of this go away.”

Laney was frozen in a prostrate position when suddenly a thought whispered through her mind…you are loved with an everlasting love…you are the daughter of the King…you matter.

Laney touched her forehead to the floor. “Forgive me, my King…my Lord…my Savior. Rescue me.”

“Do you really think He’s going to listen to your prayers now? After all the weeks, and months, and years of your rebellion?” The voice was becoming angry.

Laney felt the air begin to move. It started like a soft summer breeze and built into a gale force wind. Her hair was whipping around her face. She was sure she could hear thunder, and the hissing and whispering grew tumultuous. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she couldn’t breath.

I’m going to die, she thought.

“ENOUGH!”

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Immediately the darkness was overtaken by a beautiful light. A light so warm and comforting that it caused Laney to weep. She felt her heart, iced over from so many years of pride and rebellion crack. From within it, began to seep all the darkness that she had allowed to consume her life. She cried and cried. As she remembered all the choices, her choices, she felt something like steel wool begin to scrub away the grime of manipulation and deceit.

Time passed. Her tears ebbing and flowing from her place on the floor, then she heard a different voice. She looked up.

“Laney.”

All around her home stood warriors in shining armor of light. Each one nodded at her, their faces full of compassion and joy. In front of her stood the elderly man from the park and at his feet sat Myles and Sophie. He made the motion and the two pups bolted for Laney smothering her in doggie kisses.

Laney couldn’t speak she was so overwhelmed. Then she noticed the young woman standing next to the man. She was shining, like the warriors in their armor. She came to Laney and knelt down beside her. She touched Laney’s cheek where tears had moistened it.

“Mom, I love you, and you are going to be okay.”