Creative Christianity: The Widow's Quest - Part 4

(The following story is based on the parable in Luke 18:1-8. It is a fictional account with allegorical aspects. This is a fictional world with characters and events created by me.)

Connie, Rocky, and their little band of pups continued along through the manufacturing district until they entered another area of residences. This neighborhood looked a little better off than the area she had found Rocky, and substantially better than the Rift, but it still looked worn and weary. Connie wondered if that was how she looked?

She knew they needed to get something to eat, but toting along a pack of pups probably wasn’t going to let them in to very many places.

“I think we need to find a place to rest for a little while.” Connie spoke out loud.

“And get something to eat. I’m starving, and I think Isabella is too.” Rocky looked behind them.

Image by Lenka Novotná from Pixabay

“Isabella?” Connie looked to where the mother pup was following at some distance. She looked ready to drop. The two puppies who were walking still seemed to have plenty of spunk.

Rocky nodded. “Yeah, that was my baby sister’s name.”

Connie’s heart hurt. The boy had been through so much loss. She had too. She decided they weren’t going to lose Isabella. She stopped walking so the the pup could catch up, and as they waited she noticed a young woman pushing a stroller down a side street.

She handed Rocky her side bag with the two sleeping pups and said, “Stay right here. I am going to see if we can get some help.”

She jogged towards the woman. Trying to not look threatening, she slowed to a walk and smiled while still a few yards off.

Image by Patou Ricard from Pixabay

“Hello,” she began.

“I don’t got any money, so don’t try to sell me anything,” the woman clipped.

Connie could see as she got closer, while the woman was younger, she looked tired, and not particularly clean. She quickly attempted to put her at ease.

“Oh, I am not a sales person. I was just wondering if you might help me, you see I am new to the area, and my nephew and I have been walking for a while and wondered if there was a park nearby where we could rest for a bit.” She felt bad lying about Rocky, and she also didn’t mention getting food. She didn’t want the woman to think she had money.

“You got that dog’s papers?” The woman jutted her chin out towards where Rocky, Isabella and the two puppies waited.

Connie tried to think fast. “Well, I would gladly get her papers, but as I said I am new to the area and we actually just found her today. I felt so bad for her and her little pups.”

The woman drew closer, and Connie could see a little boy in the stroller, probably about two. “Do you think I could show them pups to my boy? He just loves animals, and they are such a rarity around here, since they all need to be papered. We can’t afford the fees, let alone the food to feed one.”

Connie relaxed a little. “I understand. Everything is so expensive. A pet is a big commitment. I am Connie, by the way.”

The woman finally smiled. “I’m Maribelle, and this is my boy Adam.”

Connie bent down. “It is very nice to meet you and your momma, Adam. If you don’t mind walking over, the mother pup is very tired. She needs food, but I wasn’t sure where to go.'“

She and Maribelle started walking and the young woman said, “If you need food there is an old church on the corner of Rawls and Jones. They serve lunch and dinner. You just have to sit and listen to the pastor talk about his religion.”

Connie took that information and filed it away. When they reached Rocky and the dogs, Maribelle picked up one of the puppies and showed him to her son. The boy laughed and wiggled in his seat with joy.

Maribelle stood up and asked, “You a steamer? I see your bag there.”

“Well, I uh…yes, I am.”

“If you and your family want to come to my house, I’ll give you food in exchange for work on our water heater. It stopped working a few weeks back. Sure would be nice to have hot water again.”

Constance looked at Rocky who nodded enthusiastically. She knew she was taking a chance. She had long ago stopped trusting people and knew this could be a trap. Desperate people did desperate things. She knew that fact well from living in the Rift. She looked at the young mother and her little boy and thought something about them felt right.

She nodded. “That would be nice, and I will take a look at your water heater.”

Image by Andreas Lischka from Pixabay

Maribelle smiled brightly. “Wonderful! Adam, did you hear that we are going to have company and you can play longer with the puppies.”

Adam clapped his hands and said, “…upppies!!”

They all laughed. Connie picked up her bag of tools, where the two smaller pups were just starting to wake up. She pulled each one out. Rocky took one, and Maribelle, much to Adam’s delight put the other one in the stroller with him. They made their way to Maribelle’s home.

Connie found herself marveling at feelings that rose inside her; feelings she hadn’t had for a very long time. Gratitude, joy and hope. Still, the Rift part of her wondered how long it would last. How long before she was, once again, disappointed, let down, and hurt? How long?

Creative Christianity: The Widow's Quest - Part 3

Rocky was an amiable companion. It seemed he had not had anyone to talk to, or at least anyone who would listen to him for quite a while. He talked about the neighborhood he lived in before his father had left and his mother died. He told her how when he was very small it had been a decent place; a place where people looked out for each other and took care of each other.

“I’m not sure what happened. I think I was so caught off guard when my dad left and didn’t come back that I didn’t realize what was beginning to happen in our neighborhood. The older people were dying, and the other adults were taking off, just like my dad…”

Constance was surprise at how perceptive and willing to share this young man was. Again, her heart swelled with feelings, not only for this boy, but for the children she had always wanted to have.

Image from Pixabay

They had left the area closest to the Rift boundary behind and were slowly making their way through an an industrial part of the lower south side of Minward. This is the area her forged work papers said she was assigned to do maintenance. She wanted to get as far from there as possible. She saw workers milling about waiting for the morning whistle to open the gate and let them inside.

Just as they crossed an alley way they both heard a soft bark. Connie turned her head, but kept her pace. Rocky, turned into the alley.

“Hey, come look at this!”

Connie stopped, but didn’t venture into the alley. “Rocky, I think it’s a bad idea to get too close to any wild animals around here. Not only that, but we need to keep moving.”

“But Connie, we can’t leave her. She needs our help.” Rocky was persistent.

Connie finally relented. She looked around again, and moved slowly into the alley. She drew up next to the boy and there, in a partially decomposed wooden crate, was a female dog with four young pups who were currently eating their breakfast.

Image by Montree Ladlongmuang from Pixabay

Before Connie could stop him, Rocky had bent down and was petting the mother and all her babies. The dog licked his hands and face causing him to laugh. The little pups whimpered and wiggled, their attention distracted from suckling to a new play companion. Rocky soon had his lap full of yapping, licking, biting puppy ardor.

Connie was about to scold him, but then she realized this was probably something he needed. She wondered how long it had been since he had been able to be just a boy. She decided the Manor at Minward wasn’t going anywhere, and neither was the Rift. She could give the lad a few minutes of joy. She plopped down on the ground beside him, and soon had puppies in her lap as well which made her forget for a few moments the hardship life had brought her.

After a few more minutes Connie put her hand gently on the boy’s shoulder. “We really should not stay here any longer. We might draw someone’s attention that isn’t friendly.”

“But what about the dogs? We can’t just leave them.” Rocky’s voice was concerned.

“I’m sorry, Rocky, but where I am going there won’t be any place for a dog, let alone her pups. It would be different if you had a home you could go back to, or if I wasn’t on a quest.”

“A quest?”

Constance hesitated, but then she made a decision. “Yes, Rocky. I am on a quest to talk to the Lord of Minward about bringing justice into the Rift.”

Rocky’s attention left the puppies and focused on her face. “You’re from the Rift? I didn’t think anyone ever left there, unless they are a Hy-Bred.”

“Well, that’s mostly true…unless you have friends who can forge work papers.”

Rocky’s eyes widened. “You mean, you are kind of like a spy?”

Connie laughed. “Hardly! I’m no more a spy than you are the Lord of Minward. I’m just one person trying to make a difference and find redemption and justice for people suffering in the Rift.”

She stood up. “We need to get going.”

Rocky put each of the pups back by their mother then stood up. “I wish we could give them some food or something…especially the mom. She looks like she needs it more than them.”

“She’s doing what mothers do; giving up her own comfort and needs to give life to her own.”

Rocky gave a little wave and they moved quickly out of the alley.

It wasn’t long before they began walking again that they heard numerous tiny yips and yaps coming from behind them. They both turned around and there came the mama dog with one pup in her mouth and the other three waddling along behind her as quickly as their little legs could carry them.

“Connie, look! They want to come with us.”

Constance watched the dogs struggling to follow them, and once again her heart softened. She knew at the rate they were going she might never get to the Manor of Minward, but somehow that didn’t seem quite as urgent as it had a few hours ago. She looked at the boy, and then at the pups. She began unraveling the scarf she had around her neck, then she opened her pack and got down on her knees.

“What are you doing?” Rocky asked.

“Well, we won’t get very far if we don’t give all those short little legs some help. I’m going to make a soft place in my pack where the smaller two can lay. Those two bigger ones should be able to keep up.”

Image by Aleš Háva from Pixabay

Rocky looked excited. “You mean we are going to take them with us?”

Connie nodded.

“Oh yippee! I’ve never had a pet.”

Connie picked up the two smaller puppies and put them gently down into her side pack. They snuggled together and almost immediately fell asleep.

“Come on. We’ve got to get some food some where soon, for us and them.”

Connie was not sure why she was accumulating this rag tag band of misfits, but she knew she had to help those who were less fortunate. Maybe it was how she had been raised. Maybe it was something she knew her husband would have wanted. Maybe it was God trying to show her she was not alone. Whatever the answer she knew they were now in it together.

Creative Christianity: The Widow's Quest - Part2

(This is a fictional piece based on the parable of the widow and the judge from Luke 18. I wrote this piece for entertainment purposes only.)

By the time Constance got to the second check point the rain was torrential. Her coat felt heavy as it took on water, and her tool bag was completely soaked. Thankfully, there was a long line of people which, she hoped, would make it easier for her to just slide through without much notice.

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

As she stood in the line, she noticed the other people waiting. It was a hobby of hers, people watching. She had always enjoyed sitting in obscure places to watch people. People were so interesting and unique. That was how she and Amos had met. He had been sitting on a different bench a little way away from her at the small park near her parents’ home. Apparently, he enjoyed doing the same thing. It wasn’t that unusual. If you weren’t part of DeCaro’s network, there wasn’t much else to do.

She noticed him sitting there, and he noticed her. Eventually, they noticed each other noticing each other. One day when she arrived at her spot, he was sitting on her bench with a bag. Inside were two sandwiches. His pick up line had been, “I made too many sandwiches this morning. Would you mind eating one so I don’t have to throw it away?”

Image by WikimediaImages from Pixabay

They both laughed. No one ever threw anything away in the Rift. Every morsel, every scrap contributed towards keeping you alive.

The people in the line were mainly workers, but there were a few Hy-Breds. These were people from the upper echelon that came into the Rift to gamble, buy drugs, and abuse whoever they could, just because they had money. One couple in particular was getting impatient and tried to cut ahead of others in line. This caused a small fight to ensue.

Check points at the perimeter of the Rift were actual guard stations, all employed by DeCaro. Several guards came out to break up the fight. There were at least two people who scooted past the check point without getting their papers stamped. The problem with this lay in the fact that if they got caught outside the Rift without their papers in order they would be sent back to DeCaro, and from there most likely sent to the Extermination Yard.

Constance kept her head down and stayed out of the way while the guards took control of the situation. The Hy-Breds were taken inside to warm up while they waited for a ride to take them home. The others who fought back were beaten and not allowed to cross.

It was all so incredibly unfair. That was exactly why she was willing to risk an audience with the Lord of Minward. She had no idea what sort of a man he was, but she knew she had to try to get his attention focused on the Rift and the people who were being preyed on who lived there.

Image by gregkorg from Pixabay

“Papers!”

The man behind the window was angry, Constance assumed, for having to deal with the fight. DeCaro’s employees preferred to not have to work. She quickly presented her papers. He barely even looked at them before he stamped them and shoved them back at her. She fought the urge to grab them and run. Instead, she began to fold them while she still stood in front of the window.

“Move along!”

Constance moved slowly as if she was still struggling to get her papers back into her coat pocket before the rain completely soaked them. What she was really doing was trying to make herself look as inept as possible. She walked away, breathing a sigh of relief.

Just because she was no longer in the Rift, didn’t mean she was out of danger. Not everyone in the city of Minward were law abiding citizens. She kept alert. She was thankful once the rain slowed eventually stopping. She crossed a few streets, but at the next corner she knew she was being followed.

Image by 652234 from Pixabay

Running was not an option, so she decided to confront the person. She whirled, coming face to face with a young man, probably not more than twelve or thirteen. Startled, he stopped, looking at her with wide eyes.

“Can I help you, young man?”

“I…I…thought…maybe, I could help you…you know…for a little coin.” He gave her a sideways smile trying to look hopeful.

Constance sighed. “I’m sorry, lad. I don’t have any extra coin.”

The boy didn’t give up. “Well, what do you have in that bag? There’s got to be something valuable in there.”

Constance felt bad for the boy, but she also knew she wasn’t in a safe place. He might be working with a gang, and she could be surrounded before she knew it. “This is just my tool bag. Do you live around here?'“

“Here and there.”

She looked around, noting the windows, doors, and side streets. She didn’t notice any movement, so she started to relax.

“Where’s your family?”

“Dad left a while ago and hasn’t come back. My mom said, that’s because he’s no good. My mom….” It was plain to see the boy was grieving. “She got sick. Without a job, she couldn’t afford to go to the doctor. She died a few months ago.”

Constance’s heart broke for the boy. “You don’t have any other family? An aunt or uncle? Grandparents?”

He wiped at his eyes with his ragged shirt sleeve, and shook his head. “I had a baby sister, but she died when I was little. I never knew my grandparents.”

What could she do for this boy? She lived in the Rift. She was just as bad off as he was…well, that was not entirely true. She had been raised by two loving parents. She had known the love of a wonderful man. She had friends, and she had a purpose. An idea came to her; a crazy, but wonderful idea.

“Since I would be negligent to leave you alone would you like to come with me? I am going to see the Lord of Minward.”

The lad’s jaw dropped. “Do you have an invitation? I heard he don’t see anyone without an invitation.”

Constance was quiet for a moment. “Well, no, but I am going to see him anyway. I have to see him.” Her voice grew stronger. “Besides I could use the company, and you look like you could use a decent meal.”

“Hey! I thought you said you didn’t have any extra coin!”

“I don’t, for someone who is trying to take advantage of me, but I do have coin to share for someone who is a friend.”

The boy thought for a moment, then he smiled. “I can be your friend.”

“Good! Let’s be off then. I want to get to the upper city and the Manor of Minward by the time the sun is high over head. What’s your name, by the way?”

“My mom named me Peter, but you can call me Rocky.”

“Rocky it is. I am Constance, but you can call me Connie.”

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Constance wasn’t sure if she believed in God or not, but for some reason this young boy had wormed his way into her heart and her mothering instinct took over. She and Amos had tried to have children, but never did, and then he died.

Maybe, just maybe she was being given a second chance.

Creative Christianity - The Widow's Quest: Part 1

The following piece begins a series based on the passage found in Luke 18:1-8. It presents a fictional account with allegorical aspects which coincide with the parable told by Jesus in those Scriptures. This is a fictional story with a world, and characters built by me. I hope you enjoy it.

Constance made her way through the narrow, muddy streets, thankful it was raining. A constant downpour washed away some of the surface filth making her feel there was a modicum of cleanliness here in the Rift. She kept her head down, the hood of her coat concealing her face. She didn’t want anyone to know where she was going. If they found out she was on her way to the Manor of Minward they would beat her until she was no longer recognizable. The Black Needles didn’t appreciate the people of their ward asking for help. They didn’t need help. They could make it on their own.

Image by Lucent_Designs_dinoson20 from Pixabay

Constance smirked beneath her hood. Neoplo “The Builder” De Caro wasn’t just known for building the run down, decaying ruins the people of the Rift had to live in, but for raising up the crime syndicate that preyed on the very people it was supposed to protect. She had seen enough; enough suffering; enough struggle; enough darkness. If the Lord of Minward was truly just, as she had often heard through her fourty-three years, why didn’t anything change? She was going to find out.

She was going to have to get past a few of De Caro’s check points. He wasn’t fond of people leaving his barony. He had an intricate web of knowledge woven together by his army of groveling lackeys. Constance learned from the time she was very young to blend in. She didn’t want to stand out. Being noticed by Neopolo, meant you became one of his, either that, or you conveniently disappeared. She felt bad for the younger people. De Caro’s appetite wasn’t just reserved for food and drink.

Constance felt bile rise in her throat, but she swallowed it, and clenched her fists. She wasn’t going to become just another of De Caro’s appetizers. She had to have hope; hope that the Lord of Minward would be able to make a change. Maybe he just wasn’t aware of how bad it was in the Rift. As the Lord of an entire city, he must be very busy, and maybe information wasn’t getting through due to De Caro’s influence.

The first check point loomed ahead. Her training in boiler maintenance should be able to get her through this one. She felt the tool bag by her side, then slid her hand into her coat pocket where the forged work papers printed on union stationary, and folded neatly, stayed dry from the down pour.

Image by Anna Veronika from Pixabay

Constance wasn’t alone in this quest. There were a few others who wanted a better life, and knew De Caro’s empire building wasn’t going to benefit them. She and Amos had formed a small group of other “believers”, which now was up to twenty members. They rarely all met together, but stayed in touch using messages sent via trusted couriers. Since the steam movement, and its subsequent advancements in communications, things like sending handwritten messages on foot had become obsolete. Now things were moved along through vast tubular networks both above and below ground pushed along by the compressed power of steam.

Amos had been like a little boy, completely enamored with the advent of the new Steam Era. He loved the machines, the gears, the noise and the power behind something so simple as heated water. She missed him terribly. It was coming up on five years since his death, but grief was relentless where darkness bred, and the Rift was a breeding ground for all that was dank, and miserable.

Image by Peter H from Pixabay

Constance took a deep breath and moved confidently to the first check point. Each check point held a small booth barely big enough for one person, but often occupied by several of Neoplo’s goons. There were three of them in this one. They were chatting and laughing. There were several other people in line.

When her turn came, Constance pulled the papers out of her pocket and quickly shoved them through the small opening in the window.

The man looked down on her, from where he sat in the dry, heated booth.

“You in a hurry there, lass?”

Constance wanted to quip back she was old enough to be his mother, but didn’t reply, just shrugged. She found the best thing to do was not engage. Once you started talking, they became interested. She waited, turning to look at the line that was forming behind her. That was a good thing. The more people waiting, the less time they would take to push you through.

The man stamped her papers and passed them back through the window. As she reached to take them, he wouldn’t let go. She looked up at his scruffy face.

Image by Sammy-Sander from Pixabay

“Smile, Sunshine. Life ain’t so bad. Doesn’t old De Caro take good care of his people?”

Constance swallowed the retort brewing in her gut, gave a shy smile and nodded her head.

“There we go! You have a good night now, lass!”

Constance placed the papers back in her coat pocket. As she walked away she let out a deep breath. One more check point to go.

The Bee Keeper

This is a fictional work. These are my musings on the work of the Holy Spirit in prayer as written in Romans 8:26 - “In the same way the Spirit also helps our weaknesses; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings to deep for words.”

The man stood in the open watching the light bees streak across the darkening sky. As they fell, their luminescence began to fade. He had to capture them quickly before they went dark. He could still catch them after they fell by listening for their unique buzzing. He darted this way and that, scooping the bees into his sack which began to glow and buzz softly from within.

Image by Oscar Portan from Pixabay

“There are a lot of you tonight.” He said it out loud, in part to remind himself of this responsibility the Father had given him.

While the light bees weighed nearly nothing in their glowing state, he knew when he pulled each one from the sack it would weigh heavily on him until he had finished the plea. Each petition was different. Many were not heavy, but more the stuff of wishes and dreams. However, as time passed it seemed that more and more of them were bloated so full of pain and sadness, he often had to go to his brother to ask for help bearing the weight.

When his sack was full, he made his way back to his room. He lay the sack on the table near the window then began to prepare his floor and bed. He always made sure he had plenty of blankets and fluffy pillows. The Father spared no expense for he and his brother, because he had given them the most difficult tasks.

Image by David Greenwood-Haigh from Pixabay

It was an odd conundrum, to be so powerful as to create a world, but to know the depths of pain and suffering because of their love for the creation.

He went to the table and opened the bag. He pulled out the first bee. It was completely dun, but it buzzed softly. He sat on the floor and held it in his clasped hands. Raising his hands to his mouth he blew gently over the bee. The transformation was instantaneous. The bee became light, and sound, and color. It blossomed into whispers, tears and then rants. In that instant he knew for whom he was to pray. In that moment he was driven to his face on the floor where he began to groan and tremble.

There were times, like now, when the prayers were so heavy he could not stand under their weight. The more incoherent the prayer, the heavier it weighed. So many did not know how to pray, not because they lacked the knowledge, but because their hearts were so entangled with the ones they prayed for. Their prayers came out like mumbled, tear filled whisperings, or loud, frustrated, pain filled moans.

Image by Rebecca Martell from Pixabay

“Lord, God Almighty…my daughter!”

“Creator in heaven…my marriage…help!”

“Father…when…when…when?”

As his heavenly breath breathed over each bee, their rants, moans and tears turned into the purest and sweetest prayers. He knew each and every need, want and desire. He lifted them up, his own body taking the toll of bearing each and every request.

He finished a particularly difficult prayer, his body still trembling from the weight of it. He was sweating, yet chilled. He heard the door open to his room, then felt a gentle hand on his soaked back.

“Brother, your work is heavy tonight. Let me help you bear these dear ones to our Father’s throne.”

He nodded as his brother knelt in front of him. His gentle face was filled with empathy. He knew what it was like to bear this weight. He had born their weight on a rough, wooden cross. He knew them in a way that he was only just beginning to understand.

“Their stings are potent tonight, Brother!”

He smiled. His smile always could light up the world around them. “I am all too aware of their stings, but they do not understand what they ask or what they do. It is in part due to the constraints their flesh puts upon them.”

“But why is it so hard for them to believe, to accept, to have faith? We know our Father is fully good.”

His brother nodded. “We do, but we abide with the Father. It takes them time to grasp the idea that they too can abide with Him…and truly, one day shall abide with us…for those who believe.”

He nodded in agreement. “For those who believe. Thank you, Brother.”

The brothers sat knees to knees cherishing each and every light bee pulled out of the sack. Their unity bore the pain, their brotherhood embraced the hurting, and their love turned all of it into a stream of light and rejoicing, a sacrifice of worship to their Father, the King.

Creative Christianity - Midlife Battle Cry by Dawn Barton - A Book Review

This book review was done in exchange for the book. No money has exchanged hands for this review.

About a month ago I was contacted by a company who does marketing for Christian books and movies. I was asked if I would post a review of a book in exchange for the free product. I have been asked before to do these, but this is the first one that really pulled at me. I said yes. What follows are my thoughts and opinions on Midlife Battle Cry: Redefining the Second Half by Dawn Barton.

I had never heard of Dawn Barton until I received this book. A blonde, southern gal, Dawn has an infectious smile and an earthy sense of humor that pokes fun of life in all of its beauty, and ugliness. Dawn is no stranger to success, she left a thirty year career in sales marketing to become an author; and she is no stranger to difficulty, she has been through the loss of a child, divorce, rape and cancer. Anyone who has been through that much bad stuff and still has their sense of humor, has my attention.

The premise of the book assures us there is more to come once the kids are grown and retirement is looming. Many of us who have reached mid-life, and are moving into our late forties, fifties, sixties and beyond feel like we are done. We are done raising kids, retirement is not that far away and we feel like we have nothing to offer a society that looks at youth and beauty as the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. We are afraid, as Dawn says, “of becoming irrelevant to the world.”

“The story is always the same: look younger, dress younger, eat younger, just BE younger. The message is clear: old bad, young good. Thanks for coming. Good night.””

— Midlife Battle Cry by Dawn Barton (p. 13)

Dawn is encouraging us to get out of the “irrelevant” mindset through practical steps, exercises, and entertaining stories, all with her sassy, southern comedic voice. This is Dawn’s second book and she is an Evangelical Christian Publishing Association best selling author.

When I am reading Dawn’s book I feel like I am sitting down on a lovely wrap around front porch, with a gentle breeze blowing. I am chatting with a close friend, one who gets me, and really understands the hard bits of life. This friend is one who gets to the point quickly and though her honesty is sometimes hard to handle, she accepts and loves me immensely.

Here are a few of the chapter titles from Midlife Battle Cry:

1 - Did the Fat Lady Sing?

2 - The Shift

3 - Hello You

4 - The “I Love Me” Challenge

5 - The Black Hole of 45+…..

and more.

If you order Dawn’s book at midlifebattlecry.com you get a free Book Club Kit, which is good wether you use the book in a group, or use it for individual study.

This book spoke to me. It came into my life at the precise moment that I needed the reminder that I am still important and I still have something to offer the world, even though at the moment I feel I am in the chapter where Dawn talks about God forcing us to rest, to prepare us for the next thing (Chapter 16 - Hello, God, Remember Me?)

“He needs you ready for the next thing, and in order for that to happen you need rest. You need to recharge, and you need to pour into your soul, you mind, and your body. Remember, a season of rest is not because you are forgotten or that He doesn’t love you; it’s because He does love you.”

— Midlife Battle Cry by Dawn Barton (p. 171)

I hope you will check out Midlife Battle Cry. It is a book worth your time, especially if you are entering the next phase of life and feel unsure how to proceed, or that you are done.

“I’m not sure if we’ve done the damage ourselves listening to generations before us or if it’s the rambling of social media and society, but we are a huge group that for the most part has become silent during a time when we are profoundly needed in this world....This is not our time to stop being wild participants of life and just become mere spectators...It’s time for us to lead.”

— Midlife Battle Cry by Dawn Barton (p. 184)

Relentless - Part 6: Home

Laney, could hear the steady beep, beep, beep of the machine monitoring her heart. She knew where she was, and what was going on. She was dying, but an amazing peace surrounded her, a living, breathing presence. She thought back to all those years ago, the night Steve walked out on her; the night the Shadowed Ones tried to get her to take her life; the night she met her unborn daughter. That night she had given her heart back to its maker; the King.

Image by OsloMetX from Pixabay

“GG?” A sweet, young voice called her name and she could feel the tender hand on her own. She opened her eyes.

Her youngest great grandchild stood next to her hospital bed. He was only eight, but his faith in the King was as strong and as deep as a mighty tree. She smiled at him.

“Silas.” Her voice came out in a raspy whisper.

“GG? Are you going to see Him? Are you going to see the King?” His eyes were wide with hopeful, childlike anticipation.

Laney managed a nod. “Yes, sweetheart. Yes I am.”

Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

Laney turned her head and saw the room filled with her family. She could see Steve in every single one of them. The thought made her smile. Steve hadn’t really given up on her, just like the King and His Son, he relentlessly pursued her.

For a long time she carried the guilt of her abortion, and it made seeing Steve even harder, but gradually, time, and the King’s soothing words reminded her she was forgiven. She was made new, and nothing ever captured her attention again, like His love.

Silas squeezed her hand. “GG, when you get there can you tell Gpa I miss him? Can you also say hi to Cocoa, and Nut?”

Laney managed a soft chuckle as she thought about the last two dogs she and Steve had rescued. The grandkids had been a little older than Silas when they adopted a dark brown puppy from a puppy mill, and a fluffy, white, very busy puppy from the Humane Society.

Image by carpenter844 from Pixabay

“Silas, I will tell them, and I’ll tell Myles, Sophie, Frito, and Chip.”

Silas’ brow wrinkled. “Were those your doggies when you were younger?”

“Oh, yes, Silas. Myles and Sophie were the dogs who helped rescue me. Frito and Chip were your dad and Aunt Evi’s dogs as they grew up.”

Steven Jr. stepped forward and put his hands gently on Silas’ shoulders. “Come on, bud. We need to let Gram rest.”

Silas squeezed her hand one more time then let his father lead him a way from the bed. Laney looked at all of the blessings the King had given her. His grace and mercy showed in every single face that stood in that room.

She lifted her hand towards her son. “Steven, come.”

Steven stepped to the bed and put his arm around his mother lifting her so she could see everyone.

“I love every single one of you, and I know you love me. You all know my story, because I never want you to go down the road I did…to run away from the King. No matter what happens in your lives, only He is truly trustworthy, and loves you completely. He alone makes you exactly who you are supposed to be. Always remember.”

Laney leaned back weakly on her son’s arm, and he gently placed her head on the pillow. “Good bye, Mom. We’ll see you again.”

Her daughter, Evi, came over and kissed Laney’s forehead, her tears anointing her mother for her last journey.

Laney closed her eyes.

* * * * * * * * *

When Laney woke, the first thing she felt was warmth. It was as though she was laying on a glorious Mediterranean beach, the sun beaming down on her with a gentle breeze blowing across her skin. She took a breath and realized she could breath without pain, and she could smell. A million different scents blended together filling her with a joy she had never known. She opened her eyes.

Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay

She found herself in a garden, one that caused all the Better Homes and Gardens winners to look faded and tiny in comparison. She sat up. She was on a blanket, and laid out beside her was a picnic complete with gingham napkins, a wicker basket, and food that looked like nothing she had ever seen before. She felt her stomach growl. What a glorious feeling after years of having no appetite.

“Laney.”

She looked up. There stood Steve, and her daughter Elena. They had decided to name her, after they had gotten back together. Both of them looked radiant. Stepping out from behind them was the King, His Son, and their presence, Arabella. Arabella was luminescent, as though a million stars filled her very being.

The Son came to her and reached out His hand. “Laney, we are so glad you are here. We have been waiting for you.”

Love, all at once a force, a thought, a breath, a place, an entity clothed her as His hand touched hers.

She was home.

Relentless - Part 5: Rock Bottom

“Laney! What are you doing?”

Laney heard her boyfriend’s voice, but she couldn’t remember where they were. Were they at home? Where were the dogs? She suddenly felt Steve shaking her.

“Laney, what did you do? You killed our baby…my baby…” Steve shook her harder. “Open your eyes, damn it! Look at me!”

Laney forced her eyes to open. She tried to smile, but her face didn't seem to want to respond to what her brain was telling it to do.

Image by 0fjd125gk87 from Pixabay

“…hey, babe…what…time is it?”

Steve shoved her back into the couch. She usually didn’t make it that far after a binge.

“I’m done, Laney. You are on your own. That’s really what you wanted anyway, wasn’t it. You aren’t selfish, you are lost.”

Steve left, slamming the door.

Laney tried to say something, but nothing would come out. She tried to sit up, but she was so hungover she knew that wouldn’t be a good idea.

What was his problem anyway?

“It was my choice…” The words rang out into the empty room sounding like a hollow bell. “Myles? Sophie?”

Image by Linda Crouse from Pixabay

“It was my choice…” she muttered as she fell back asleep.

When she woke some time later it was dark. Not merely the darkness of night, but an inky, thick blackness that seemed to suck the breath out of her. Laney felt paralyzed, but she knew it wasn’t the alcohol and drugs, this was the paralysis of fear.

“Was it your choice?” A smooth voice whispered out of the blackness.

Laney forced herself to sit up. She knew her eyes were open, but why couldn’t she see anything. She felt the fear, like a leggy spider crawling up the back of her neck.

“My body! My choice!” She barked out the words like an angry, caged beast.

“My, my, so adamant, so angry, so vulnerable.” The voice taunted her, like a calm, stoic bully.

“Go away! Leave me alone!”

“But where would the fun be in that? My friends and I have been watching you, following you, waiting for you. You may have the King’s seal, but we can still make your life miserable. That’s really what you want anyway, isn’t it? To be miserable?”

Laney thought the voice sounded strangely like Steve’s.

“You are pathetic. You sold those dumb, four legged beasts to support your growing addiction, and then, last week you sold your own fetus.”

The voice began to giggle. The giggle turned into maniacal, stark raving hysteria. That voice was joined by another, and another, and another, until Laney was sure the laughter was coming from inside her head.

Image by Rebecca Martell from Pixabay

She covered her ears and dropped to her knees on the floor her screams becoming the crazed harmony to the unhinged laughter.

“You aren’t real! You’re just some sort of delusion from the alcohol and drugs. Go away!”

The laughing slowed, but it was replaced by whispers that sounded, oddly, like the hissing of a snake. Laney thought she had finally taken too many hallucinogenics, that her brain would no longer be able to tell the difference between the trip and reality. But then the voice started speaking again.

“I’m just a delusion? A monster of your own making? Tell me, Laney, what would the perfect enemy look like? A man with a funny little mustache who commanded armies and almost took over the world? Or how about a man who took his lovers home, then killed and ate them for dinner? No, no, no, my dear girl. I am perfection. You see I have convinced the world that I don’t exist. I can go about my business of manipulating and destroying lives without anyone ever being the wiser. You have talked yourself into believing a lie, and you even have the King’s seal. All of humanity is pathetic…”

Laney heard what the voice was saying, but she couldn’t make sense of it. “Go away!”

“Come now, Laney. The party is just getting started. You know what, I am a rather busy Being, why don’t we just get this over with. Get that bottle of pills that you have hiding in the cereal box in the cupboard. If you take them all, it should be over in just a few hours.”

Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

Laney gasped. How did he know about the pills? She smirked. Well, of course he would. He was her made up delusion.

“Why not,” she said as she struggled to crawl across the floor towards the kitchen.

“That’s right, Laney. You have nothing left to live for. No dogs, no family. Even your boyfriend, who had bought a ring, left you.”

Laney stopped. “Steve, bought me a ring?”

She felt something begin to twist inside of her. She ignored it and kept moving in the direction of what she thought might be the kitchen. She had to get those pills.

The voice dug in again. “He wanted to marry you. Can you believe he loved you? You made the right choice, you know. You would have never been a good mother.”

“He loved me?”

Image by aleksandra85foto from Pixabay

“Oh, come on Laney! You know he was only marrying you because of the baby. But, even that you have thrown away…the pills are waiting my dear. They will make all of this go away.”

Laney was frozen in a prostrate position when suddenly a thought whispered through her mind…you are loved with an everlasting love…you are the daughter of the King…you matter.

Laney touched her forehead to the floor. “Forgive me, my King…my Lord…my Savior. Rescue me.”

“Do you really think He’s going to listen to your prayers now? After all the weeks, and months, and years of your rebellion?” The voice was becoming angry.

Laney felt the air begin to move. It started like a soft summer breeze and built into a gale force wind. Her hair was whipping around her face. She was sure she could hear thunder, and the hissing and whispering grew tumultuous. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she couldn’t breath.

I’m going to die, she thought.

“ENOUGH!”

Image by Design n Print from Pixabay

Immediately the darkness was overtaken by a beautiful light. A light so warm and comforting that it caused Laney to weep. She felt her heart, iced over from so many years of pride and rebellion crack. From within it, began to seep all the darkness that she had allowed to consume her life. She cried and cried. As she remembered all the choices, her choices, she felt something like steel wool begin to scrub away the grime of manipulation and deceit.

Time passed. Her tears ebbing and flowing from her place on the floor, then she heard a different voice. She looked up.

“Laney.”

All around her home stood warriors in shining armor of light. Each one nodded at her, their faces full of compassion and joy. In front of her stood the elderly man from the park and at his feet sat Myles and Sophie. He made the motion and the two pups bolted for Laney smothering her in doggie kisses.

Laney couldn’t speak she was so overwhelmed. Then she noticed the young woman standing next to the man. She was shining, like the warriors in their armor. She came to Laney and knelt down beside her. She touched Laney’s cheek where tears had moistened it.

“Mom, I love you, and you are going to be okay.”

Relentless - Part 4: The Pursuer - The Prince

He paced the floor, as he often did when things weighed heavily on him. He could feel the cool night air filtering in from the open doors that led to the balcony. He could smell the fire as it flickered brightly, seemingly without a care in the world. There were moments he wished he could be that free, but he cared too deeply.

Image by Jazella from Pixabay

He could not get her off his mind. She was his sister. She had become thus when she gave her heart to his father in the oath; an oath that could not be undone. Why did she not want to return to them? Why did she run away in the first place? Why did she not see how much they cared for her and wanted her to come home? Didn’t she know how her actions tore at his father’s heart? Didn’t she know the shadowed ones were always looking for an opportunity to destroy her?

The more he meditated on it, the faster he paced.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his door.

“Come!”

His father entered. His face, always alight with passion and energy, was shadowed with care.

“Father! Do you have news? Has Laney returned?”

His father moved to the plush, oversized chair near the fireplace and fell into it with a sigh.

He quickly took the other chair next to his father and waited. It was never wise to push the King for information. He knew him like he knew himself. The King would speak when he was ready. The fire grew dim before the King finally spoke.

“These next few weeks are critical. While she cannot see it, she has crossed into their territory. They will take advantage of every single bad choice she makes. It will be dangerous for her. I need you to post a small company of the Guard around her. They are to watch and keep the darkness at bay, but not interfere.”

Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay

“Father! Why can’t we just pull her out? Why must we let this go on, leaving her to her own will; watching her dive deeper and deeper into destruction?”

“You know why, my son. Her will is strong. Almost as strong as yours.” The king smiled gently. “But you used your will to accomplish my purposes. She is not there yet. It must be her choice. To take her back by force will only cause her to rebel more earnestly. Believe me, I know her inside and out.”

The king rose from the chair and he followed suit.

His father grasped his shoulders. “I know how hard this is for you. You have been there living among them as one of their own. You are intimate with their limitations and struggles, but you know I am trustworthy. You placed yourself at my behest, even though it involved great sacrifice.”

Image by KTDesign_studio from Pixabay

He looked intently into his father’s golden eyes. He saw what he always did. Mercy, patience, forgiveness, and a love so deep it was unfathomable.

He nodded. “I know, father. You are right. I know that she is there by her own choice, but it pains me to see her suffer.”

“You are not alone in that, my son.” He turned to go. “When you are done gathering the Guard, go to Arabella. Together you can pray.”

Relentless - Part 3: The Pursued - Mercy upon Mercy

Laney had just brought the pups in from their walk and all three of them were wet. It had turned gray early in the day and soon after started to rain. She didn’t like having to walk the pups in the rain, but she knew it was good for all of them. Laney had become very disciplined in her life. It was something she was proud of.

Image by Gundula Vogel from Pixabay

“Okay, guys, no jumping on the furniture until I get your feet wiped off.”

She grabbed a towel she left hanging by the door for just that purpose, and began to wipe Myles’ paws. Sophie sat obediently waiting her turn. Myles gave her plenty of kisses, then padded into the living room where he jumped up to his spot on the couch. Just after she finished Sophie’s paws and hung up the towel, there was a loud clap of thunder that made her jump. Both dogs barked. The lights flickered.

Laney spoke gently to calm the pups down. “It’s okay. It’s just a little thunder. You know it happens a lot when it rains.”

It went dark.

She looked out the front window and the whole neighborhood was dark. The rain was coming down in sheets, while thunder and lightening rumbled and flashed simultaneously.

Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay

She looked at her phone, thinking she had better log the outage with her electric company. It lit up for one second then it went dark, just like the neighborhood.

She felt panic, the same kind she had felt in the bar on that night over two years ago. She could still hear the whispers. She clenched her teeth.

“Alright, guys! We need to find the flashlight and get some candles lit.” She forced her voice to be calm and upbeat.

It made her think of her dad. He had always been buying candles at garage sales for just those occasions. Her mom would light them all over the house when the lights went out and it always made her feel safe, so she was going to do the same.

Image by Obsidain Photography from Pixabay

The pups padded along behind her as she found the flashlight and then grabbed a variety of candles and their holders from various places in the house. She soon had the living room and kitchen looking like a bright fairy festival at Christmas time.

She gave the dogs their dinner, then scooted down the hall with a candle to her bedroom to change into dry clothes. She looked out the bedroom window and was stunned by how hard it was raining. It looked like there was a wall between her and her neighbor whose house was only a grassy patch and a driveway away.

Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

She noticed the reflection of the candle in the window, but there was someone standing next to it. She whirled around fear catching in her throat. There was no one there. She nervously pulled the curtains closed without looking back at the window, quickly changed her clothes and went back out to where the pups had curled up on the couch.

She closed all the other curtains as well, then sat between the dogs pulling a blanket over her lap. Myles yawned and rested his head on her lap, while Sophie put her back against her leg. The dogs were her salvation. She did not know what she would do without them.

She began to doze, hoping the rain would stop and the electricity would come back on soon.

Image by Waldryano from Pixabay

Laney woke with a start. Blinding light filled the room and in front of her was the silhouette of what looked like a man in a suit. Both Myles and Sophie had gotten off the couch and were sitting by the man and looked to be licking his fingers.

“Who…who are you?” Laney’s voice trembled. “What do you want?”

Myles barked. The man bent his head towards the dog, then said, “Oh…yes…you are so right, Myles.”

The piercing light diminished. Laney could see the candles she had lit around the room. The light continued to recede until it was just a warm glow around the man. She saw him smiling as he looked around her home.

Laney grabbed her phone still laying in her lap from when she had dozed off, but of course it still had no charge. She stood up.

“What are you, some sort of utility worker? It’s great that you got out here to fix the power so quickly, but you really shouldn’t be coming into people’s homes without being invited!”

The man chuckled. “Well, Myles and Sophie said I was completely welcome. Besides, I was sent here to talk to you.”

Image by Lalo Viamontes from Pixabay

Laney glanced towards the front door. If she could make a mad dash, she might be able to get out of the house. She could run to a neighbor’s.

“Laney.” The man’s voice was gentle. “I’m not going to hurt you. I am here at the request of the King. He wants you to come home.”

Laney rolled her eyes. “Here we go again. Why does he keep bothering me? Doesn’t he understand I want nothing to do with him or his silly kingdom. He doesn’t own me.”

The gentleman moved towards one of the chairs opposite the couch. “Do you mind if I sit?”

Laney was about to say of course she minded, but he sat.

“You say he doesn’t own you, but you gave him your heart oath and in turn he placed his seal on you. Let me show you. Myles, Sophie, here.”

Laney was aghast as the dogs moved obediently to wear the man sat. He raised his hand and it began to glow brighter. He lifted up Myles’ ear. Placing his hand behind the dog’s ear, Laney could plainly see something that resembled a royal seal glowing.

“Sophie’s is embedded near her heart, and yours…” He stood and moved towards her gently taking her wrist.

“You wanted yours on your wrist so it looked like a tattoo.” He smiled as the glow from his hand revealed the same royal seal on her arm.

She pulled her arm away angrily. “You need to go! Now!”

The man’s face looked sorrowful. He turned towards the door, but stopped and said. “Laney, it is easy to cling to bad things that happened in your life, but it blinds you to all the times mercy was extended to you in the form of his protection, his provision, his love. Open your heart to him again. Even this evening, this storm…it was his way of watching over you.”

He turned towards the pups. “He knows you are doing everything you can and he is so pleased. Don’t give up on her. He isn’t.”

Myles and Sophie barked and followed him to the door. He opened the door, his glowing silhouette backlit by a flash of lighting, then he was gone.

Laney rushed to the door, slamming it and turning both of the locks. She even went to all the other outside doors and the windows and made sure each one was locked.

Image by PublicDomainArchive from Pixa

“Stupid, weird utility man…” she muttered as she finished.

* * * * *

Laney woke to the clock on her bedside table blinking, and the sun shinning through a slit in between the closed curtains. The thought crossed her mind that perhaps the whole incident with the stranger in her house was just a dream. She decided it must have been and began her morning routine.

She turned on the TV, starting her healthy morning smoothy. As she cut up the fruit to throw in the blender her ears tuned in to something the local news anchor was saying.

“…Late last night police finally caught the Urban Exterminator, notorious serial rapist and murderer. It seems the Exterminator was looking to take his next victim from one of the neighborhoods near 8th and Dernst Avenues and stalled out his vehicle going through a flooded area near a plugged up storm sewer drain…”

Laney’s jaw dropped. Hers was one of those neighborhoods. The stranger’s voice echoed in her head. “…it is easy to cling to bad things that happened in your life, but it blinds you to all the times mercy was extended to you in the form of his protection, his provision, his love…Even this evening, this storm…it was his way of watching over you.”

Relentless - Part 2: The Pursued - The Gift

“Where are they? Myles? Sophie?” Laney called and whistled, but the dogs did not respond.

She had come to the park, their evening routine after she got home from work, but something had caught their eye, or their nose, and they had nearly pulled her down on her face before the leashes slid roughly from her hands.

She felt herself beginning to panic. What if she couldn’t find them? What if they didn’t come back? They were her constant companions. She couldn’t live without them.

“Sophie! Myles! Come!” She called loudly again as she jogged in the direction they had zoomed off.

She pulled out her phone. Her friend Jeremy would know what to do. He was always there to help her out. After a second he answered.

“Hello?”

“Jeremy, this is Laney. Hey, I’m at Preston Park. Myles and Sophie got away from me. Can you come help me look for them.”

“Um…well, I…I’m kinda busy right now, Laney. I’m sure they’ll be fine. Just hang out for a bit and they’ll probably come loping back in a few minutes.”

Laney was disappointed, but she didn’t let on. “Oh, okay. Well, thanks. See you at work tomorrow.”

She kept walking, but slowed her pace. Jeremy was probably right. They would come back in just a few minutes after they were done stimulating their noses. She headed toward the wooded area because she knew the pups loved to rummage around in the leaves.

Laney was proud of herself. She’d finally stopped messing around and started to take life seriously. After that last weird encounter at the bar, she decided to keep her drinking confined to her small home, and only when she had friends over. She had finally gotten an administrative position at work, got a great raise, good health insurance and a title that made her finally feel worth something. People came to her for advice and looked up to her.

Why was it then, she felt so alone?

Image by Werner Heiber from Pixabay

Still, he pursued her. She could feel it in the quiet moments, which was exactly why she didn’t allow the silence. She had a routine. As she got home she was greeted by the barking of Myles and Sophie, the two rescues she adored. She changed her clothes, put on her headphones, cranked up the music and took the pups for a long walk. When they returned she turned on the TV to have a show on in the back ground as she made herself a healthy meal. It stayed on until she either went to bed, went out with friends or had friends over.

Her life before she left Him was becoming a blur, almost as though it wasn’t real. She had just about convinced herself it was just some sort of weird dream, a fairy tale of sorts, or it had seemed like a fairy tale until something bad had happened; something that He had not stopped. The question always nagged at her, if he really loved her why hadn’t he protected her?

Laney followed the path that wandered into the heavily treed area of the park. Just as she came around a corner she saw Sophie and Myles sitting in front of an elderly man on a bench.

“There you are! You two are in so much trouble.” She reached them and picked up both of their leads.'

“I am so sorry,” Laney said to the man. “They just took off. Just about dragged me with them.”

The gentleman chuckled. “Oh they were zooming for sure, but I could tell they belonged to someone who cared for them very much. I told them they had to sit with me until you came.”

Laney wasn’t sure what to think of the man, but he seemed quite harmless. Plus it was still daylight and there were people around. She sat down next to him.

She smiled. “You told them?”

He was looking off into the woods. He started, as if noticing her for the first time. “What was that?”

“You said, you told Myles and Sophie to sit with you until I came.”

He smiled gently as he patted Myles on the head. “Oh, yes…yes. This one is all for fun. He wanted to keep running, but his sister told him to listen. She’s the one with the deep desire to please you.”

Laney let out a small laugh. “You understand them…who are you Dr. Doolittle?”

The man smiled. “Oh no, no. That was just a made up story. I…well….I have a gift.”

“A gift?”

“Some would call it discernment. Others might call it knowledge…whatever it is I just know I’ve had it since I was seven years old.”

Laney looked at him, trying to figure out if he was serious. She suddenly felt worried for the man. “Are you okay? I mean do you need me to call someone? Do you live around here?”

He gently put a hand on her knee and patted it. “Now don’t you worry. I am perfectly sane, if that’s what you are wondering. I just know things, that’s all.”

Laney was intrigued. “What sorts of things? Has Myles told you he wants another sibling, because I cannot afford another…”

The gentleman burst into laughter, his eyes crinkling with mirth. His smile seemed to make the shaded path burst into light.

“I can tell you that Myles and Sophie were both rescues. Sophie has always loved to submit. It makes her happy to do her owner’s will. She is gentle and peaceful. Myles…well, he’s a lot like you.”

“Me?”

“Yes. He likes to run. He has very little patience for sitting still. Some days he wants to run and run and never turn back.”

Laney looked at Myles. “What? You would do that?”

Myles barked. The man continued. “Oh, he won’t ever leave you. He has a seal.”

“A seal?”

“Yes. Both Sophie and Myles have it. It was given to them by someone very important. You see, Myles and Sophie were both severely treated and abused. He gives them the most important job, to watch over the lost ones…You are very fortunate. He must love you a great deal. Myles and Sophie were created just for you.”

Laney sat there stunned, a tiny pin prick poking her heart. She took a deep breath and willed her mind to override the feelings. She stood up.

“Well, that’s all very interesting. I really need to go. I’ve got friends coming for dinner. Are you sure you don’t want me to call someone?”

The man patted Myles and Sophie again and whispered something only they could hear, then lifted his head to Laney.

“Thank you for sitting with me, even if just for a minute. It means the world to me.” He smiled again.

Laney had to pull the pups away from him as she moved down the path out of the woods. She turned back one time to see if the old man was going to try to follow her, but he was gone.

Mulling It Over: Romans 8 - Part 1

This week I want to start my Mulling It Over series where we will be taking a passage of scripture and move through it slowly. The idea of ruminating on something is likened to a cow chewing on its cud. Not a pleasant thought, but for the cow it aids in the digestion process. For us ruminating on a passage gives us time to think about it and digest what it is saying. It also allows the Holy Spirit to speak to us through His word and that is part of what enables us to become more Christ like. Obviously, we have to be willing to do the listening and participate in what the Spirit wants to accomplish in our lives. I believe that is best done at a slow, deliberate pace.

Image by Robert Owen-Wahl from Pixabay

I recently was directed back to Romans 8. It is a chapter packed full of God’s promises and gives us so many tools to use as we go about our daily lives.

“1 Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death”

— Romans 8:1-2 (NASB 1995)

If you have been through one of my Mulling It Over series before, then you know I like to take these passages apart verse by verse. Seeing as there is so much in this passage, I feel it important to look at it in small bite sized snippets. We are serving finger foods here, not a whole roast beef dinner. But hopefully when we are finished you will feel like you have eaten a meal prepared by the King’s very own chefs.

Therefore there -

In order to understand what the Therefore is there for, we must look back at chapter seven. There is one verse that I think sums up the section that is being referred to (7:14-25).

“18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not.”

— Romans 7:18 (NASB 1995)

This passage in chapter 7 is referring to the struggle between the flesh and the Spirit. More specifically, to the Law of God, which is Spiritual, and the flesh which is sinful. Can’t we all concur with the Apostle Paul in this struggle? What sort of struggle would it be if we didn’t have the Holy Spirit? We would go about our business, not really giving a thought for the struggle that could have been.

Image by M P from Pixabay

When we allowed Jesus to put His seal on our hearts the struggle became real. Suddenly we find our flesh wanting all manner of things that aren’t good or godly. Day in and day out we fight this battle of flesh, not because we are ungodly, but because we are His and we are meant to be righteous, and righteous we are because of His blood that covers all our sin, but we still live in this earthen vessel.

“25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.”

— Romans 7:25 (NASB 1995)

Knowing this is the struggle all Christ followers will endure, we come to verse 1 of chapter 8, and now we know what the Therefore is there for.

…is now…

The word now speaks of time. The time is not future and it is not past. It is today, this morning, this hour, this moment. It refers to what we now know because of what was referred to in the previous chapter.

…no condemnation…

What could be more beautiful and life giving that those two words? This is a promise. The condemnation that we could be under because we know the law of God, the spiritual reality, yet our physical reality binds us to this flesh. How is it that a Holy God would not condemn us, since we continue to struggle against sin.

…for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Oh the blessing that is ours, because we are His and He is ours. We are not condemned because we are in Christ Jesus. What does it mean to be in Him? It means that we live with Him, abide, dwell, invest and put all our heart’s trust in who He is and what He has done for us on the cross and in the refrain, “Up from the grave He arose…”

Now we come to the reason:

For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus….

We are no longer under the law of death as the physical Israelites were as they lived and moved across the wilderness, trying to adhere to a system of weights and blood balances that they could never completely live up to. We are under a new law: the law of the Spirit of life. This is only available through our Lord and savior, and by it He -

Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay

…has set your free from the law of sin and death.

Blessing upon blessing. Mercy upon mercy. We were under the law of sin and death, but now we are under the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus. I have to really think about this and ask myself, am I still living as one in the wilderness continually looking back to my “Egypt”, wishing I could go back, longing for the comfort of my sin, or am I a new creation forged by His blood and released into a Promised land of freedom and joy?

Until next time dwell in His promised land, that place where you are not under condemnation, but lavishly loved.

Relentless - Part 1: The Pursued

The following piece and its subsequent installments are works of fiction created by myself as allegorical of the Christian life. As with any allegory it is a picture or type, more specifically in this case a picture of what our relationship with God might look like. The following parts will be posted monthly on the fourth Thursday as part of my Creative Christianity feature. I hope you will enjoy it.

He was coming for her. She didn’t know how she knew, but she knew. She tried to shake it off, telling herself she was being silly. Why would he still be pursuing her? She had left the smothering confines of his kingdom long ago. She was nothing to him, not any more. She had made sure of that.

Image by Christian_Birkholz from Pixabay

She smiled coyly at the bloke sitting at the end of the bar. He looked like a decent sort and maybe with a bit of change. She could tell by the sunglasses that sat on the top of his finely coiffed hair and the watch that shone loudly on his wrist.

“Buy me a drink?” She used her most innocent, yet seductive purr.

“Sure,” he responded with feigned enthusiasm. He sidled closer to where she sat.

She could tell he’d been here before. Not in this exact pub, but at this point in life. His wife or current lover had jilted him, leaving him for someone with fresher curb appeal. Just like her he was trying to find a small measure of comfort, even if just for a moment.

“I’d ask you what’s a nice girl like you doing in a dive like this, but I think we both know, neither of us is very nice.” His voice sounded tired.

She smiled. “My, my, a philosopher.”

He smirked, the corner of his mouth just barely rising before he lifted his glass in a mock toast towards hers. “How did you know? Was it my snarky response, or my academic attire that gave me away?”

Image by Michal Jarmoluk from Pixabay

She clinked her glass against his. “Definitely, the snark.”

They sank into a puddle of warm conversation, not really talking about anything, but also everything. He told her about his kids; she talked about her dogs. He shared the frustrations of the academic world, and she griped about the long hours she worked in the medical arena.

“So why are you here?” He asked. “You seem like a genuinely descent person? Don’t you have a family, friends, a significant other?”

The alcohol was beginning to make her feel odd. Her whole body was covered with goosebumps.

“Ooo, I feel weird. Hey you didn’t put something in my drink did you?” She looked at the professor, whose face looked concerned. “Hey, bartender! I need some help. I think this guy messed with my drink.”

The lights over the bar and around the pub began to flicker. She looked around the room and suddenly realized she and the bloke were the only ones in the room. She didn’t even see the bar tender, who was normally playing musical glasses as he cleaned and wiped down the counter.

“I feel it too,” the professor said quietly.

“Feel what?”

“A presence.” The man’s voice had become a subdued whisper.

Image by Robert Owen-Wahl from Pixabay

The lights went out, all except the blinking open sign in the window. The pub seemed to fill with moving shadows and sounds. She thought it sounded like many voices whispering, or were they hissing. She knew in her gut she needed to run, but she couldn’t.

“What have you done?” The man’s voice sounded befuddled.

Funny, it made her think of her mother asking her the same question when she had emptied a three pound bag of flour onto the living room floor.

The prof looked at her with wide eyes. “You are one of his. You have his seal.”

She jumped off the stool and away from him. “What? What are you talking about? I don’t belong to anyone! I’m my own person.”

The shadows in the room seemed to grow, almost taking on a three dimensional quality. Were they moving towards her?

“Then why are they here?” The bloke nodded towards the shadows.

“I assure you I don’t have any idea what they are, let alone why they are here.”

“Boy, you really are naive aren’t you. Everyone knows anyone who leaves his kingdom will be followed by the Shadowed Ones.”

Image by Engin Akyurt from Pixabay

She looked from the creeping shadows to the professor. “Well, I highly doubt that everyone has this information seeing as this is the first time I have heard of it.”

The bloke’s face became gentle and kind. “He wants you to come back. He never wanted you to leave. He loves you, Laney.”

Laney felt her jaw drop. “How do you know my name? I didn’t tell you my name.”

“Laney, he will never stop pursuing you. He cannot bear that you have left. He knows exactly who you are and what you need. Return to him.”

Laney shook her head. “NO! I can’t go back. It’s too late….this has to be a nightmare….maybe if I just close my eyes it will all disappear.”

The professor put a hand on her shoulder. Laney felt a different presence. Suddenly, an explosion of light forced her to close her eyes, but a force that could only be described as a tsunami of love swept passed her.

It was gone. She heard the tinkle of glasses, subdued voices and snippets of laughter surround her. Opening her eyes she found herself sitting at the bar. The bartender was busy wiping the counter. There were a few others at the bar, but the snarky professor had vanished.

The bartender approached. “Need another round, Laney?”

Laney looked at her empty glass. She took a deep shuddering breath. “Fill it up!”