Wonderful Words of Life: The Perfect Work of Struggle

For the last five months I have been getting mental health counseling from a licensed therapist. After everything I went through in 2021 with my health, and subsequent bouts with Covid, sinus infections and other aches and pains, in addition to past hurts and traumas in our family I felt it was time to start a journey towards better mental health.

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Even though we have made great strides to lessen the stigma surrounding mental health struggles, there are still many people who will not seek help even though their lives could be greatly improved by it. A person does not have to be on the verge of suicide or struggling with addictions, or PTSD to need counseling. In fact, it is better if we seek help before we get to the breaking point, or before we begin seeking other, more self destructive habits to compensate for the pain or numbness we are feeling.

In addition, I believe as Christ followers we are doing a great disservice to our brothers and sisters if we do not recommend licensed therapeutic counsel when so many people in our churches and congregations are struggling with their identity, their marriages, their children, and with the constant input of information that is often not beneficial, but detrimental to their well being.

As a Faith Blogger, I want to give you good, and accurate information and most of what I share with you is Scriptural teaching which I have learned in my years of walking with Christ. I don’t have a psychology degree, nor do I have a certificate in counseling. However, I do have the Holy Spirit, and His guidance in my life as I have maneuvered the bumpy waters of this journey called life.

“27 As for you, the anointing which you received from Him abides in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you; but as His anointing teaches you about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you abide in Him.”

— I John 2:27 (NASB 1995)

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We all can have the wisdom of God because as believers in Christ we are directly linked to the triune God head: the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The above verse reminds us that we received an anointing from Him who abides in us. In other words, Jesus anointed us with the Holy Spirit. We see this outpouring of the Holy Spirit in Acts 2. The Holy Spirit is one with the Father and the Son, so they all know and operate in one mind. The Holy Spirit makes plain to us the things of God. Problems arise when I try to take that which is straight forward and simple and make it into a convoluted mess. The above verse reminds us that the Holy Spirit teaches us about all things, and that teaching is true, not a lie.

All of this is a preface to the wonderful words of life found in the book of James.

“2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,
3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ”

— James 1:2-4 (NIV)

You might be wondering how can I think these are wonderful words when it tells us we are going to face trials of many kinds, and that our faith is going to be tested. Let’s take a closer look.

Consider it pure joy…

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What sort of joy is this pure joy? If we look at the definition of pure we see that it means without any other particles or pollutants, as in pure water, or pure white snow. Pure joy is free from that which doesn’t belong such as all the fleshly characteristics that we so often exhibit when going through difficulty.

…whenever you face trials of many kinds…

What in blazes does having this pure joy have to do with facing various trials? How is that even possible? We’ll get to that in a moment.

…because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

This also seems a bit of a stretch doesn’t it? I mean how do struggles and trials produce perseverance?

Let perseverance finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

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It looks as though this scripture is telling us that perseverance works to make us mature and complete to the point that we are not lacking anything.

Let’s back away from these segments and look at this as a whole picture. We, as Christ followers, have learned that we will have trouble in this life. Didn’t Jesus tell this to his disciples?

“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.””

— John 16:33 (NASB 1995)

Christ knew we would have trouble in this world. He walked as a man for approximately 33 years. He knew what is was to be hungry, thirsty and tired. He knew the frustration of not being understood and of being falsely accused. He was separated from His true family and lived his life here knowing what was to come. He did it for us.

Our ability to have joy when undergoing difficulty is completely dependent on our relationship with Christ. Are we independent, living by our own means and resources, or our we Christ dependent, living and depending on the resources available to us through the King of Kings who has adopted us? We can face any trial or trauma and persevere because He gives us the ability. It is not something we dredge up ourselves; an inner strength of our own making, it is in Him because He is able.

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As we lean back in our Savior’s arms, waiting on Him, seeking Him, praying in Him, abiding in Him, we persevere. As we persevere, we grow and mature. Not only do we mature, but we become complete, not lacking anything. That to me is amazing. It gives me the hope I need when I am faced with insurmountable hardship. Difficulty is part of this life, but it always has a purpose, and that purpose is making us complete.

I am sure some of you are asking the question, Why doesn’t God just by pass the difficulties and make us mature and complete without all the frustration and pain of struggle and heartbreak? He could, couldn’t He? Of course, but easier does not always mean better. God knows what is best, and by faith that is what I believe.

Don’t give up! Life is hard, but in hardship you are becoming exactly what God wants you to be.

Relentless - Part 5: Rock Bottom

“Laney! What are you doing?”

Laney heard her boyfriend’s voice, but she couldn’t remember where they were. Were they at home? Where were the dogs? She suddenly felt Steve shaking her.

“Laney, what did you do? You killed our baby…my baby…” Steve shook her harder. “Open your eyes, damn it! Look at me!”

Laney forced her eyes to open. She tried to smile, but her face didn't seem to want to respond to what her brain was telling it to do.

Image by 0fjd125gk87 from Pixabay

“…hey, babe…what…time is it?”

Steve shoved her back into the couch. She usually didn’t make it that far after a binge.

“I’m done, Laney. You are on your own. That’s really what you wanted anyway, wasn’t it. You aren’t selfish, you are lost.”

Steve left, slamming the door.

Laney tried to say something, but nothing would come out. She tried to sit up, but she was so hungover she knew that wouldn’t be a good idea.

What was his problem anyway?

“It was my choice…” The words rang out into the empty room sounding like a hollow bell. “Myles? Sophie?”

Image by Linda Crouse from Pixabay

“It was my choice…” she muttered as she fell back asleep.

When she woke some time later it was dark. Not merely the darkness of night, but an inky, thick blackness that seemed to suck the breath out of her. Laney felt paralyzed, but she knew it wasn’t the alcohol and drugs, this was the paralysis of fear.

“Was it your choice?” A smooth voice whispered out of the blackness.

Laney forced herself to sit up. She knew her eyes were open, but why couldn’t she see anything. She felt the fear, like a leggy spider crawling up the back of her neck.

“My body! My choice!” She barked out the words like an angry, caged beast.

“My, my, so adamant, so angry, so vulnerable.” The voice taunted her, like a calm, stoic bully.

“Go away! Leave me alone!”

“But where would the fun be in that? My friends and I have been watching you, following you, waiting for you. You may have the King’s seal, but we can still make your life miserable. That’s really what you want anyway, isn’t it? To be miserable?”

Laney thought the voice sounded strangely like Steve’s.

“You are pathetic. You sold those dumb, four legged beasts to support your growing addiction, and then, last week you sold your own fetus.”

The voice began to giggle. The giggle turned into maniacal, stark raving hysteria. That voice was joined by another, and another, and another, until Laney was sure the laughter was coming from inside her head.

Image by Rebecca Martell from Pixabay

She covered her ears and dropped to her knees on the floor her screams becoming the crazed harmony to the unhinged laughter.

“You aren’t real! You’re just some sort of delusion from the alcohol and drugs. Go away!”

The laughing slowed, but it was replaced by whispers that sounded, oddly, like the hissing of a snake. Laney thought she had finally taken too many hallucinogenics, that her brain would no longer be able to tell the difference between the trip and reality. But then the voice started speaking again.

“I’m just a delusion? A monster of your own making? Tell me, Laney, what would the perfect enemy look like? A man with a funny little mustache who commanded armies and almost took over the world? Or how about a man who took his lovers home, then killed and ate them for dinner? No, no, no, my dear girl. I am perfection. You see I have convinced the world that I don’t exist. I can go about my business of manipulating and destroying lives without anyone ever being the wiser. You have talked yourself into believing a lie, and you even have the King’s seal. All of humanity is pathetic…”

Laney heard what the voice was saying, but she couldn’t make sense of it. “Go away!”

“Come now, Laney. The party is just getting started. You know what, I am a rather busy Being, why don’t we just get this over with. Get that bottle of pills that you have hiding in the cereal box in the cupboard. If you take them all, it should be over in just a few hours.”

Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

Laney gasped. How did he know about the pills? She smirked. Well, of course he would. He was her made up delusion.

“Why not,” she said as she struggled to crawl across the floor towards the kitchen.

“That’s right, Laney. You have nothing left to live for. No dogs, no family. Even your boyfriend, who had bought a ring, left you.”

Laney stopped. “Steve, bought me a ring?”

She felt something begin to twist inside of her. She ignored it and kept moving in the direction of what she thought might be the kitchen. She had to get those pills.

The voice dug in again. “He wanted to marry you. Can you believe he loved you? You made the right choice, you know. You would have never been a good mother.”

“He loved me?”

Image by aleksandra85foto from Pixabay

“Oh, come on Laney! You know he was only marrying you because of the baby. But, even that you have thrown away…the pills are waiting my dear. They will make all of this go away.”

Laney was frozen in a prostrate position when suddenly a thought whispered through her mind…you are loved with an everlasting love…you are the daughter of the King…you matter.

Laney touched her forehead to the floor. “Forgive me, my King…my Lord…my Savior. Rescue me.”

“Do you really think He’s going to listen to your prayers now? After all the weeks, and months, and years of your rebellion?” The voice was becoming angry.

Laney felt the air begin to move. It started like a soft summer breeze and built into a gale force wind. Her hair was whipping around her face. She was sure she could hear thunder, and the hissing and whispering grew tumultuous. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she couldn’t breath.

I’m going to die, she thought.

“ENOUGH!”

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Immediately the darkness was overtaken by a beautiful light. A light so warm and comforting that it caused Laney to weep. She felt her heart, iced over from so many years of pride and rebellion crack. From within it, began to seep all the darkness that she had allowed to consume her life. She cried and cried. As she remembered all the choices, her choices, she felt something like steel wool begin to scrub away the grime of manipulation and deceit.

Time passed. Her tears ebbing and flowing from her place on the floor, then she heard a different voice. She looked up.

“Laney.”

All around her home stood warriors in shining armor of light. Each one nodded at her, their faces full of compassion and joy. In front of her stood the elderly man from the park and at his feet sat Myles and Sophie. He made the motion and the two pups bolted for Laney smothering her in doggie kisses.

Laney couldn’t speak she was so overwhelmed. Then she noticed the young woman standing next to the man. She was shining, like the warriors in their armor. She came to Laney and knelt down beside her. She touched Laney’s cheek where tears had moistened it.

“Mom, I love you, and you are going to be okay.”

When Darkness Comes - Part 10: The Beauty of His Piercing

As I bring this series to a close, there is still so much to learn and so much to share, but first and foremost, I want you to remember, when you are walking in darkness God is near. We saw how He hovered over the darkness of the deep at the beginning of creation, and how He is not only within the darkness, but He is in control of it. I want you to remember that whatever comes into your life passes first through the hands of the Almighty, and with that thought the reminder that His is good.

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I have also been sharing with you my own experience of walking in the dark by sharing heart felt words written in my journal. As a believer, writer and person of deep emotion, I have found journalling a great way to work through hard times and even harder feelings. I want you to understand how important it is to acknowledge our feelings and bring them before the Lord. I want you to be able to throw off those false faces we so often wear, so that you can live a life that is as real and raw as possible. Life is hard, but our God is powerful.

In the Old Testament, The book of Exodus gives many details of the Israelite’s captivity by Egypt and the freedom following when God worked through Moses. It also gives many of the laws and ordinances they people of Israel were expected to follow.

““Now these are the ordinances which you are to set before them:

2 “If you buy a Hebrew slave, he shall serve for six years; but on the seventh he shall leave as a free man without a payment to you.
3 If he comes alone, he shall leave alone; if he is the husband of a wife, then his wife shall leave with him.
4 If his master gives him a wife, and she bears him sons or daughters, the wife and her children shall belong to her master, and he shall leave alone.
5 But if the slave plainly says, ‘I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not leave as a free man,’
6 then his master shall bring him to God, then he shall bring him to the door or the doorpost. And his master shall pierce his ear with an awl; and he shall serve him permanently.”

— Exodus 21:1-6 (NASB)

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As you can see from the passage, over the years, if a slave was treated well, he might begin to see his master as part of his family. When the time of his slavery came to an end, he could decide to stay with his master permanently. We might wonder why a slave would do this, but it makes sense. If the slave had come to take a wife and have his own family over the course of his confinement, he would be choosing between his freedom and his family, because the female slave he married, is still the property of the master. Choosing to remain with his master allowed him to stay with his family. When he made this choice, his ear would be pierced with an awl to show that he was permanently bonded to the lord of the house.

I love how the things God ordained and revealed in the Old Testament become analogies for our spiritual walk. The piercing of the ear showed a choice on the part of the slave to be permanently part of the household and family of the lord of the estate. In the same way, when we choose to allow God to pierce our hearts with the truth of His word, we become more invested in the desire, and work of the Master. Suddenly, the things that didn’t seem to make sense, become understandable. The darkness that seemed as though it would swallow us whole, becomes filled with pin pricks of light, creating hope in our weary hearts.

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When I went through that particularly dark time a few months ago, I shared with you the process I went through as I wrestled with my own feelings and God’s truth. I have long struggled with my self-worth and self-image. We live in a world where comparison is the norm and no matter how often people say, “Don’t compare yourself to others,” “Get over yourself,” “You are being selfish if you have those thoughts and feelings,” or “You are unique and beautiful,” the fact is we still compare, feel bad about ourselves, guilty about what we did wrong, or didn’t do right, and all the other messages we hear. Only God can lift us out of the mire we and others have placed us into.

The morning after I had journaled all of those pages, where I ranted, acknowledged, remembered and ruminated, the Lord took His sword and pierced my heart. I woke up that morning, not really feeling victorious, but remembering I was waiting on the Lord in the strength of His might. I knew He would bring me out of that darkness when He was ready. I leaned into what I knew. Yes, I would have loved to have gotten up that morning feeling like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, but I didn’t. In addition to remembering what He had shown me over the last few days about His truth, I chose to focus on Him.

As I was putting on my make up, I decided to listen to a Beth Moore Podcast. The title of the podcast was Measureless Love, Part 1 (April 13, 2020). Why I picked that podcast on that day is a God thing. You see the thing I was struggling with the most was feeling loved. Yes I knew in my head my family loved me. I knew if I ever needed them, I could call on the friends that I have and they would be there for me, but still, the doubt that anyone truly loved me was like a disease in my mind. After all, I was not, nor ever would be, enough.

The fact that Beth Moore’s podcast was on God’s measureless love was no accident. What struck me was the idea, which Beth pointed out, that God is a God of measurements and preciseness. Think about the earth, sun, stars and other heavenly bodies. If our earth was just a smidge closer to the sun it would be too hot to support life. Just a smidge further away and it would be to cold to support life.

Look at these other examples in Scripture, of God’s precise measurements:

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“Then God said to Noah, “The end of humanity has come before Me; for the earth is filled with violence because of people; and behold, I am about to destroy them with the earth. 14 Make for yourself an ark of gopher wood; you shall make the ark with compartments, and [m]cover it inside and out with pitch. 15 This is how you shall make it: the length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, its width fifty cubits, and its height thirty cubits. 16 You shall make a window for the ark, and finish it to a cubit from the top; and put the door of the ark on the side; you shall make it with lower, second, and third decks. 17 Now behold, I Myself am bringing the flood of water upon the earth, to destroy all flesh in which there is the breath of life, from under heaven; everything that is on the earth shall perish. 18 But I will establish My covenant with you; and you shall enter the ark—you, your sons, your wife, and your sons’ wives with you. 19 And of every living thing of all flesh, you shall bring two of every kind into the ark, to keep them alive with you; they shall be male and female. 20 Of the birds according to their kind, and of the animals according to their kind, of every crawling thing of the ground according to its kind, two of every kind will come to you to keep them alive. 21 As for you, take for yourself some of every food that is edible, and gather it to yourself; and it shall be food for you and them.” 22 So Noah did these things; according to everything that God had commanded him, so he did.”

— Genesis 6:13-22 (NASB)

“10 “Now they shall construct an ark of acacia wood two and a half cubits long, one and a half cubits wide, and one and a half cubits high. ”

— Exodus 25:10 (NASB)

“And you shall make an atoning cover of pure gold, two and a half cubits long and one and a half cubits wide. ”

— Exodus 25:17 (NASB)

“Moreover, you shall make the tabernacle with ten curtains of fine twisted linen and violet, purple, and scarlet material; you shall make them with cherubim, the work of a skilled embroiderer. 2 The length of each curtain shall be twenty-eight cubits, and the width of each curtain four cubits; all the curtains shall have the same measurements. 3 Five curtains shall be joined to one another, and the other five curtains shall be joined to one another. 4 You shall make loops of violet on the edge of the outermost curtain in the first set, and likewise you shall make them on the edge of the curtain that is outermost in the second set. 5 You shall make fifty loops in the one curtain, and you shall make fifty loops on the edge of the curtain that is in the second set; the loops shall be opposite each other. 6 You shall also make fifty clasps of gold, and join the curtains to one another with the clasps so that the tabernacle will be a unit.”

— Exodus 26:1-6 (NASB)

“4 Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell Me, if you have understanding,
5 Who set its measurements? Since you know.
Or who stretched the measuring line over it?
6 On what were its bases sunk?
Or who laid its cornerstone,”

— Job 38:4-6 (NASB)

I could go on, sharing passage after passage about God’s attention to detail, specifically to that of measurement. From laying the foundations of the earth, to the tabernacle to the temple, God is a God of preciseness…except in the area of His love. When it comes to God’s love, it is measureless.

“My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.”

— Ephesians 3:14-19 (The Message)

I typically don’t use too many different translations of the Bible. I prefer the New American Standard or the New International Version, but I wanted to give you a version of this passage that would drive the point home. In my opinion, this is beautifully written. Truly, the dimensions of Christ’s love are extravagant.

“11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him.
12 As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our wrongdoings from us.
13 Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
14 For He Himself knows our form;
He is mindful that we are nothing but dust.”

— Psalm 103:11-14 (NASB)

When God pierces our hearts, He drives home His truth to the extent that we cannot question its source or its author. God’s love for me is measureless. You know how I know this to the very core of my being? When I was in darkness, questioning the truth of love in my life, again, He took the time to orchestrate my circumstances to remind me, He loves me without measure, again. You see, he has done this for me before; not in the same way, but in a way that meant something to me. This time, it pierced me. When the piercing happens it cannot be undone.

Just like that slave, who chose to have his ear pierced with the awl, as a reminder to himself and everyone he chose to stay with his master, so too God’s piercing in our lives is a reminder, a place we can return to if we ever doubt.

Next week I will wrap this series up with a review. Until then, have a great weekend!

When Darkness Comes - Part 8: When Feelings and Truth Meet

This series is long, but I don’t want to skim these ideas. God and His word are so incredibly complex and beautiful. We do ourselves an injustice when we do not truly understand, and believe, what He is trying to say to us. Remember at the very beginning of this series, I talked about how God created the darkness? Remember how I shared that the darkness was made for our benefit; for rest; for growth? The same is true of the darkness we are walking through. No matter what the darkness is, even those things that the devil meant for our destruction, God can and will use to make us into His perfect and beautiful children. There is one thing we must do…be willing to let Him pierce us. In the same way the nails pierced the gentle hands, and the sword pierced the side of our Messiah, we share in His sufferings when we let God pierce our hearts with His truth. It is by sharing in His sufferings that we receive our greatest comfort.

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“For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.”

— 2 Corinthians 1:5 (NASB)

Last week I focused on the need for expressing and acknowledging our emotions during these times of darkness. God is not a weakling. He can handle anything we throw at Him, whether it be sadness, horror, anger, jealously, despair, anxiety and more. It is obvious when reading through the scriptures, ever since our initial creation and subsequent fall to sin, God spoke His truth to the writers in order to bring us comfort, peace, joy, courage and the ability to express our innermost thoughts without fear of retribution.

David and the writers of the Psalms, as well as Job, Jeremiah, Solomon and others filled pages of scripture with emotional musings.

“Why are you in despair, my soul? And why are you restless within me? Wait for God, for I will again praise Him For the help of His presence, my God.”

— Psalm 43:5 (NASB)

“How long am I to feel anxious in my soul, With grief in my heart all the day? How long will my enemy be exalted over me?”

— Psalm 13:2 (NASB)

“I am disgusted with my own life; I will express my complaint freely; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.”

— Job 10:1 (NASB)

“My sorrow is beyond healing, My heart is faint within me!”

— Jeremiah 8:18 (NASB)

“Why did I ever come out of the womb To look at trouble and sorrow, So that my days have been spent in shame?”

— Jeremiah 20:18 (NASB)

“Do not be eager in your spirit to be angry, For anger resides in the heart of fools.”

— Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NASB)

“Say to those with anxious heart, “Take courage, fear not. Behold, your God will come with vengeance; The retribution of God will come, But He will save you.””

— Isaiah 35:4 (NASB)

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Truth growth in the Christian’s life most often happens when God’s truth meets the raw edges of our intense emotions. When we take His word and apply it to our feelings, and our circumstances His light permeates our darkest dark.

“For the word of God is living and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, even penetrating as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

— Hebrews 4:12 (NASB)

When I am struggling in the dark, I am often unsure, confused and overwhelmed. With God there is no confusion. With His word, His truth, revealed by His Holy Spirit there is only surety and purity. This makes all the difference when we are struggling.

Once again, let me share my own journey. Once I acknowledged my despair and sadness to the Father, He brought me back to two particular scriptures: Psalm 16:11 and Psalm 27:14. For this particular post I will expand only on the second.

“Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.”

— Psalm 27:14 (NASB)

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“Waiting has always been hard. Waiting for the salvation of our loved ones who are not walking with You; waiting for a diagnosis and treatment for our daughter; waiting for the birth of our second grandson...but perhaps I am missing the point. The verse doesn’t emphasize WHAT we are waiting for, but WHO...You!

While we are waiting we are to be doing two things -
1 - Be strong - perhaps this is where I am struggling the most. I have often thought of myself as fairly strong - all the crazy stuff Mark and I have gone through - but perhaps, I am not really very strong.

I obviously get upset and emotional when, if I had been leaning on You, I would have had the strength I needed. I have been guilty of wanting my strength to come from others, but there are other scriptures like Ephesians 6:10.

Before Paul launched into the armor of God He says, ‘Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.’
It doesn’t say, ‘Be strong in your spouse, be strong in your church, be strong in your own strength - it says be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/24/21

From this point, I looked at a cross reference from Ephesians 6:10 to Ephesians 1:19, but I looked at it within the context of Ephesians 1:18-23. To keep this from getting to long, feel free to click on the link, or grab your Bible and take a look at this passage. It is worth while, to truly understand what that phrase, “…in the strength of His might,” encompasses.

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“The strength of His might was brought about when He raised Jesus from the dead and placed Him on His right hand in the heavenly places, and gave Him (Jesus) power, rule, authority and dominion over all.

SO...when it says I am to be strong in the strength of His might it is telling me I do not have to be strong in my strength or power. NO! I am to be strong in the same might that raised Jesus from the dead; not only from the dead, but to His position over all.

2 - Take Courage - The second thing I am to do is take courage (mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty). When looking up the meaning of this word, it seems that courage, or taking it up refers to a cause. What is the reason I have to be courageous; or from whom do I get my courage. It is from the Lord Jesus Christ.

The end result is that as I am waiting on the Lord, He will be my strength and my courage. I am not alone in this.

Thank you Father, Son and Holy Spirit.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/24/21

When God’s word pierces me it is as though I enter into a layer of God I never understood before. I have read through the Bible multiple times over my life as a believer, but I stand amazed at how His Spirit stabs straight to the heart, changing my perspective and my understanding when I am truly open to His teaching. More often than not, this happens when I am walking in the dark.

Don’t be afraid to wrestle with God. Don’t be afraid to search His word and pray the eyes of your heart will be open. Allow Him to pierce you through to the heart.

Next week we will look at the role of thanksgiving in the dark. Have a great weekend!

When Darkness Comes - Part 7: Revealing our True Hearts

I have been doing a series on the darkness as it pertains to times of struggle in our lives. The last two posts revolved around truth; the truth we know about God and the truth we know about ourselves as seen in the Word of God. We cannot, however, have truth and not acknowledge the feelings and emotions that God created us with. As we saw last time, we often put on False Faces, so that we can cope and pretend the truth has penetrated our hearts, but in reality it hasn’t. I have been sharing my own experience with you, because through my own walk in the dark, I have learned that truth must be wrestled with before it can become a part of our inner being.

Image by Herbert Aust from Pixabay

God knows our delicate frame and also knows He gave us a mind that can think, reason and question. However, we must remember our minds were meant to be in communion with Him. The longer we let our minds dwell on what is false, hopeless and destructive, the less we will be able to recognize His truth. When we are walking in the darkness, there is no doubt, the Unseen Enemy will try to manipulate that shadowed path to his advantage. That is precisely why it is so important to stand on the God’s truth, but not just stand, we have to wrestle with it and allow Him to pierce our souls with it.

He has done that with me. Even as I type this, tears come to my eyes, because I realize, as an Almighty being, He owes me nothing. He has no reason to gift me His time or attention. He does so, because He chooses to. The incredible, lavish fact is, He chooses to do this, even when I am at my lowest, ranting about how unfair life is or how hard things are, or questioning impatiently when will this darkness end.

In order to get to this point of allowing God to pierce us, we must acknowledge our feelings, as ugly as they can be. Feelings are often tied to experiences, both good and bad. In my heart I have a room. Inside, there are shelves full of experiences, mostly those with other people. Most of these are bad experiences. When I feel bad, I unlock that room and I go inside, closing the door behind me. It isn’t a comfortable room, filled with fairy lights and comfy, overstuffed furniture. It’s more like an old attic, full of cobwebs, dark corners and lots of junk. I find a place on the hard floor and I start reviewing all that junk…all those times I yelled at my kids; all the angry words between my husband and I; all those feelings of never measuring up…of not being enough…of being invisible.

Image by József Kincse from Pixabay

Most of us have something like my attic room, where we revisit things that happened or didn’t happen. These are part of emotional make up of who we are and God is patient with us. He allows us those moments, but He doesn’t want us to stay there. Eventually, it would be nice if I could hand that key over to Him and walk away. I haven’t done that yet, but I am getting closer.

I am going to share an except from my journal, when I was revealing my true heart to God. I share these things, not to make you feel sorry for me or to make you think how hard I have had it, but I hope by being vulnerable with you, you will choose to be vulnerable with God.

“I guess what it comes down to, Lord, is I am sad that I am invisible. I know there are lots of people struggling with far worse things than feeling invisible. There are wives whose husbands are unfaithful; there are children whose caretakers are abusive; there are elderly men and women fading like an old photograph with no one to visit or care about their needs, or desires. There are people who have felt the pain of divorce, the death of a child or spouse...and here I am feeling sad...that I feel invisible.

But I would not be a healthy person if I did not acknowledge I am sad, and it hurts. It hurts to be forgotten; to have a face that is unmemorable; to have no voice except one that is deemed naggy, bitchy or emotional. I am only acknowledged when I mess up. I am only texted or called when someone wants something...””

— Amy's journal from 5/23/21

Image by Vojtěch Kučera from Pixabay

There are several things I want you to notice. I am acknowledging my feelings. I am unloading. I have remembered God’s truth about Himself and about me, and now I am letting Him know how I feel. My intellect knows what is true…I am not invisible. I have a family who does love me. I have friends…but the acknowledgement of feelings is so important in healing and in allowing God to bring His word into the deep places of our hearts. I go on to make this very point in my journal.

“Lord, I am venting. I know what Your word says. I am not invisible. Your word says You knew me before I was born. You know my thoughts from afar. There is no place I can go to get away from You. I am not invisible to You. (Psalm 139)”

— Amy's journal from 5/23/21

The other thing I want you to notice is that I recognize I am not alone in suffering. There are many who are suffering; many who have it far worse than I do, but that does not diminish my feelings or my need to lay those feelings at His feet. This is a process.

The next step follows: I recognize that some of my struggle is a result of sin, and the work of the Unseen Enemy.

“Lord, I ask Your forgiveness that I struggle with these feelings over and over. I should be mature enough to be so over it, but right now I am not. I am weak.

I ask for Your protection. I know my enemy would like to devour me, my family, but he cannot. Renew my mind, because I cannot. I choose to lean in to You; in to your comfort, mercy and grace; into Your sufferings. I embrace it all and I call on Your name...the name of Jesus, knowing He is the Great Warrior Prince and He will rescue me.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

Finally, I acknowledge the power and supremacy of the Almighty One.

“Thank you for You hem me in behind and before; that You are my rear guard; that You hold my hand and walk with me through every single valley. You are the Wonderful Counselor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace. You alone are the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/31

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Don’ be afraid to let God peer into the deepest places of your heart. Allowing Him access to those attic rooms will eventually bring about true renewal and cleansing. Wrestle with God’s truth. Tell Him how you really feel as you maneuver the darkness of your path. Let Him pierce you deep and He will bring you to new understanding and heights of His love.

Next time we will look at another piece of this refining process as we continue our journey in the darkness. I hope you are able to join me. Thank you for all your support and I pray God will become more real to you today than He ever has before.

When Darkness Comes - Part 6: Remembering Who We are in the Darkness

Many times when we are walking in the darkness, especially if we are doing it for an extended time, we tend to forget who we are meant to be. We fall back into the pattern of listening to the manipulator’s voice, rather than the Creator’s voice. We focus in on our insecurities, rather than our place on His solid foundation. We begin to obsess over all that is wrong, rather than being thankful for all that is right. I know. I have been there.

Image by Darkmoon_Art from Pixabay

Being a low energy person, it is easy for me to get tired, not just physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. There is a reason, Jesus said to come to Him when we are weary and need rest. He wasn’t just talking about our physical weariness. In fact, I think He was referring more to the weariness we feel when we are walking in the darkness. What did he say in those verses?

“28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.””

— Matthew 11:28-30 (NASB)

I want to come back to these verses when I explore how to survive the darkness, but for today, I want you to notice verse 29. We are to take His yoke on ourselves, but not just that. We are to do it so that we can learn from Jesus. Why? Because He is gentle, humble and in Him we will find rest for our souls. We can see here, it is not just our physical bodies that can find rest in Him, although I believe we can find that as well. In Him we find rest for our souls.

Once again, I want to draw on my own experiences to help you understand how important it is to remember God’s eternal truth when you are going through dark times. If we forget who He says we are, then we open the door for Satan to influence us with his lies and manipulative whisperings. Let’s look at a few of the false faces we wear when we are maneuvering the dark places in life.

False Face - The Mime

Image by Rudi Maes from Pixabay

You all know this one. They don’t talk about their struggles. You might even identify with this one. Unfortunately, the Christian church has made the mime one of our most numerous congregants. We don’t talk about it. When life gets tough, we sink down into our character and keep silent. Are you struggling with mental illness? Don’t talk about it. Are you frustrated in your marriage? Don’t talk about it. Are you shell shocked after a great loss? Don’t talk about it. We are too busy, too tired, too wrapped up in our own selves to take the time to listen, even if we wanted you to talk. Then, like the mime, we occasionally act out. We blow up at inappropriate times. We cry for no reason. We are alone in our silent performance as the rest of the world wonders why we are acting so odd.

False Face - The Stoic

Image by Szilárd Szabó from Pixabay

Definition of a stoic:

“a member of a school of philosophy founded by Zeno of Citium about 300 b.c. holding that the wise man should be free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief, and submissive to natural law”

— Webster's Online Dictionary

A person who maneuvers the dark times with this philosophy will often exhibit no emotion at all. Their attitude might resemble that of a rock. While even those who identify with stoicism do have emotions, their desire is to not give in to extravagant or showy emotion, choosing rather, to maintain a steady, even keeled composure.

False Face - The Dancer

Image by Vladimir Yuminov from Pixabay

When difficulty comes, this person will often be flitting from one thing to another, like a bee buzzing from flower to flower. An individual who exhibits this behavior, is often afraid to slow down or sit still, knowing that when they do the full weight of their struggles will overwhelm them. They believe if they keep moving, they will not have to really deal with their pain and eventually it will become less difficult.

False Face - Pollyanna

Image by Christopher Ross from Pixabay

If you are not familiar with the term Pollyanna, it is defined as a person that is excessively positive or optimistic. Originally, Pollyanna was a novel written in 1913 by Eleanor H. Porter. It told the story of eleven year old orphan girl Pollyanna Whittier, who is sent to live with her stern, cold, spinster Aunt Polly. Pollyanna maneuvers life playing a game she learned from her father, called the Glad Game. The premise being that there is always something to be glad about, or an opportunity to always see the brighter side of any dark cloud.

While I do believe there is benefit in looking for the good in life and in finding things to be thankful for, it is equally important to not deceive ourselves into believing there is nothing wrong, when in fact we are still truly hurting and struggling.

I am sure if we looked deeper we could find more False Faces that we adopt and use when we are not willing to face the darkness we are going through. However, it is of great importance that we do recognize our struggles and difficulties.

What does God’s Word say about us? Let’s look at another page from my journal.

Image by CharuTyagi from Pixabay

I recognize my standing as a sinner.

“23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

— Romans 3:23 (NASB)

I called on Your name and You washed me whiter than snow.

“13 for “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.””

— Romans 10:13 (NASB)

““Come now, and let us debate your case,”
Says the Lord,
“Though your sins are as scarlet,
They shall become as white as snow;
Though they are red like crimson,
They shall be like wool.”

— Isaiah 1:18 (NASB)

I know, according to Your word, my name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life.

“27 and nothing unclean, and no one who practices abomination and lying, shall ever come into it, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life.”

— Revelation 21:27 (NASB)

I am sealed by His blood.

“30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.”

— Ephesians 4:30 (NASB)

“22 who also sealed us and gave us the Spirit in our hearts as a pledge.”

— 2 Corinthians 1:22 (NASB)

I know according to Your word, I am not condemned.

“Therefore there is now no condemnation at all for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

— Romans 8:1 (NASB)

I know when I am weary and burdened, I can come to You and You will give me rest.

“28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

— Matthew 11:28 (NASB)

I know that Your yoke is easy and Your burden light. I can come to You and learn from You because you are gentle and humble.

“29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.””

— Matthew 11:29-30

I know You are always with me.

“5 No one will be able to oppose you all the days of your life. Just as I have been with Moses, I will be with you; I will not desert you nor abandon you.”

— Joshua 1:5 (NASB)

“5 Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever abandon you,””

— Hebrews 13:5 (NASB)

I know You have given me, Your precious and magnificent promises.

“4 Through these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world on account of lust.”

— 2 Peter 1:4 (NASB)

I know that You work all things together for good.

“28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

— Romans 8:28 (NASB)

I know You love me.

“See how great a love the Father has given us, that we would be called children of God; and in fact we are. For this reason the world does not know us: because it did not know Him.”

— 1 John 3:1 (NASB)

In order for us to be able to walk in the darkness we must remember, not only who God is, but who we are. I hope you will find encouragement in these verses.

Next time I will delve into what our response should be when we are walking in the storms.

Have a good week.

When Darkness Comes - Part 5: Finding God in the Darkness

This post will be rather long and contains aspects of my own experience in the darkness, but I share the details to help you understand the process.

We have been learning about the darkness. We have seen its beginning; created by an Almighty God for the benefit of His creation. Darkness was not meant to be bad. It was not meant to hide evil and torment the sinner, but our unseen enemy wanted to make the good bad. From the moment he became enamored with his beauty and too proud to place himself under the authority of the divine creator he has chosen to manipulate that which is good, right and true.

Image by Brigitte makes custom works from your photos, thanks a lot from Pixabay

If I came to you and said, “I am going through a very dark time,” wouldn’t you assume I was struggling? Wouldn’t you pray for the light to come back into my life, so I might once again be walking in the blessedness of my Savior’s love? Why do we assume, darkness is not the place we are meant to walk? How did we get to the point where struggle and disappointment in life is thought to be in our lives because of something we did or did not do? Why do we embrace the light, the sun, the beautiful blue skies and gentle breezy days, but not the night, the dark, the gray lumbering clouds over a storm tossed sea? Isn’t all of it allowed by our Heavenly Father? Doesn’t every circumstance that comes into our lives come first through the gentle and loving hands of our risen Lord?

“I form light and create darkness;
I make well-being and create calamity;
I am the Lord, who does all these things.”

— Isaiah 45:7 (ESV)

I will be the first to admit, I do not like this truth, but truth it is. The scripture is full of God’s truth. We are not allowed to take one truth, but not the other. We do have a free will and we can dislike some of the truths that are in the Bible, but that does not change the fact that they are the truths put forth by a holy and perfect God. Part of the key to being able to accept God’s truth is to really get to know Him. Many people read one verse and decide, God is fickle, or angry, or malevolent, but they are not seeing the entire picture. Just as we take time to get to know the person we fall in love with, falling in love with God takes time and a willingness to trust.

Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay

I want to take this part of my series on When Darkness Comes, slowly. These are the things we need to understand, and know with the very core of our being. This is where the Holy Spirit makes effective the work that Jesus did on the cross. This is the time when our head knowledge, must become heart knowledge.

My Experience

About a month ago, I was having a particularly difficult time. I have long struggled with my self image, often feeling worthless and useless. Over the last 34 years as a wife and mother I have struggled with the poor choices I made, my lack of love and compassion for both my spouse and our daughters. I grieved over the death of my father, the ensuing changes in my mother’s life and how that made life more complex. I witnessed divisions and strife in our church. I became aware of the trauma one of my family members suffered at the hands of a supposed “man of God.” I saw this same family member walk away from the church and begin a self-destructive path of rebellion against God and self-indulgent behavior. During this period I sought counsel from a licensed counselor and was told I was “mercy gone wild.” I learned about boundaries and letting go of many of the dreams I had for myself and my family. I was regularly building coffins, throwing my dreams inside, nailing them shut and burying them.

Image by Rob van der Meijden from Pixabay

Life slowly began to be less chaotic, but things were, and still are, hard. Recently, we learned our youngest daughter has a brain tumor. In addition to that she has been having a multiplicity of symptoms such as numbness, pain, tremors, dizziness and nausea. To this day, those things are still unresolved and the doctors do not believe her symptoms to be related to the tumor, which is very small and which, for now, they are keeping an eye on. This is just another straw on that proverbial camel’s back that makes the load heavier and heavier.

In my desire to draw closer to God, He lead me to see there is only one way to do this. I must take Him completely at His word. During that time a month ago, I had a three day period of a sadness so deep, I did not know how God was going to bring me out of it. I was hopeless. Hopeless for our country, hopeless for my daughter, hopeless for those who think they know truth, but are wearing blinders, hopeless for so many young people who have walked away from the church and from Him, and hopeless for myself. I never felt so completely lost in the darkness. I cried. No, I sobbed. I could not stop sobbing. Hour after hour I wondered how I could make so many tears.

Finally, when the tears began to dry up, I heard God’s voice telling me, “Get your journal and tell me what you know.”

This is the first step to finding Him in the deep darkness. Remind yourself of who God is.

Learn Who God is, and then Tell Him

Photo Rebecca Trumbull.

(excerpt take from my journal - Bible verses added after)

Lord, I know Your truth. Your word gives me that truth and it never changes.

“Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.”

— John 17:17 (NASB)

“The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of our God stands forever.”

— Isaiah 40:8 (NASB)

I know Your lovingkindness is everlasting.

“But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting for those who fear Him,
And His justice to the children’s children,”

— Psalm 103:17 (NASB)

I know Your mercies are new every morning.

“For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for a lifetime;
Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning.”

— Psalm 30:5 (NASB)

I know Your grace is matchless.

“For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.”

— John 1:16 (NASB)

You have freely given, so I might freely receive.

“Now we have not received the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God.”

— 1 Corinthians 2:12 (NASB)

You have bridged the gap between our sin laden world and your perfect heaven. I know You gave us Jesus. It was Your plan that He be the perfect sacrifice.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life.”

— John 3:16 (NASB)

I know all have sinned and fall short of Your glory.

“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

— Romans 3:23 (NASB)

I know the punishment for sin is death.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

— Romans 6:23 (NASB)

I know, whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

“for “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.””

— Romans 10:13 (NASB)

I know it is not by my own power and strength, but because of your mercy, that you saved me.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;
9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

— Ephesians 2:8-9 (NASB)

I know you have removed my sin as far as the east is from the west.

“As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our wrongdoings from us.”

— Psalm 103:12 (NASB)

Every truth, I believe about God is backed by scripture and these are just a few of them. You could do whole studies on the attributes and characteristics of our Almighty Redeemer. It is important when we are in the darkness to go back to what we know is true and to cling to it.

Next week we will look at the next phase of our journey as we walk in the dark. Thank you for following along.

When Darkness Comes - Part 3: Darkness Gone Bad

The last two weeks I have taken you through the first few verses of Genesis 1 and saw how God created the world, including darkness and light. We learned that darkness wasn’t evil. Darkness was the absence of light and to God there was no difference between darkness and light. When God separated the light from the darkness He did it with our benefit and the earth’s well being, in mind. He created the lights in the heavens including the sun, moon and stars, as ways to separate the seasons and to differentiate day from night. Day was made for work and night was made for rest.

When did darkness become bad? When did we start making the association that darkness wasn’t good and wasn’t for good people? When did darkness become associated with sin and evil? I want to show you a progression that took place. In order to understand this we need to go back to Genesis. If you regularly follow my Faith posts, you know I went over the passage in Genesis 3 when I did the series on Our Unseen Enemy. We need to look at this again. We can never look at God’s word too often.

“1 Now the serpent was more cunning than any animal of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God really said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?”
2 The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat;
3 but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’”
4 The serpent said to the woman, “You certainly will not die!
5 For God knows that on the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will become like God, knowing good and evil.”
6 When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took some of its fruit and ate; and she also gave some to her husband with her, and he ate.
7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves waist coverings.”

— Genesis 3:1-7 (NASB)

In the series on Satan, we learned that he was enamored with his own beauty. He became prideful and wanted to usurp the throne of God in heaven and take over. The first step in the darkness becoming bad was the choice of a created being to look within, rather than looking to God.

Step 1 - Self-Reliance

Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

It all started with Satan’s choice to look at his own beauty and his obsession with it. He forgot about who God was and that God had created him, not the other way around. The very same thing happened when Satan went to Eve. He got her to focus, not on all the beauty she had in the garden; not on the husband and companion God provided for her; and certainly not on the God who had made her. Satan tempted Eve to look within herself and see just what she was lacking.

Step 2 - Misery Loves Company

Image by karosieben from Pixabay

The next step in the progression towards darkness becoming bad was Satan’s desire to take others down with him. What fun would it be to rebel all by his onesie? He gladly found others among the angels willing to follow him. In the same way, Eve was not content to be the only one to bite into the forbidden fruit. She had to tempt her husband to make the same mistake. Once this choice was made, there was no going back, for either Satan or Adam and Eve.

Step 3 - Anger and Shame

Image by Thomas Wolter from Pixabay

Our study reveals two prominent emotions: anger and shame. Satan’s response to not getting his way in heaven was anger and hatred. Satan wasn’t just angry, he became violent.

“15 You were blameless in your ways
from the day you were created,
till unrighteousness was found in you.
16 In the abundance of your trade
you were filled with violence in your midst, and you sinned;
so I cast you as a profane thing from the mountain of God,
and I destroyed you, O guardian cherub,
from the midst of the stones of fire.
17 Your heart was proud because of your beauty;
you corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor.
I cast you to the ground;””

— Ezekiel 28:15-17 (ESV)

Adam and Eve, on the other hand, felt shame. Look again at Genesis 3:7:

Image by Сергей Корчанов from Pixabay

“7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves waist coverings.”

— Genesis 3:7 (NASB)

This was the final step in the progression of darkness becoming associated with all that is bad. The eyes of Adam and Eve were open. Before this happened we can assume, to them, there was no difference between darkness and light, other than that it represented a time change. Darkness wasn’t bad, scary or evil, but the sin of rebelling against God through disobedience suddenly made them want to hide. Darkness became a covering for sin and sinful actions.

In addition to this, even though their eyes were opened, Adam and Eve’s minds became dark. They no longer had the light of God, or the fellowship of His presence. They were banished, just as Satan was banished from heaven.

“22 Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might reach out with his hand, and take fruit also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”—
23 therefore the Lord God sent him out of the Garden of Eden, to cultivate the ground from which he was taken.
24 So He drove the man out; and at the east of the Garden of Eden He stationed the cherubim and the flaming sword which turned every direction to guard the way to the tree of life.”

— Genesis 3:22-24 (NASB)

I want to leave you with this idea; darkness is still God’s. Satan does not own it. He did not create it. Yes, he dwells in it and makes the world believe it is his domain, but God is still hovering over the darkness and He can see everything, we can’t.

Next week we will look at where God is in the darkness. Thanks for following along. Have a great day!

When Darkness Comes - Part 2: The Dark

Last week I started a series on When Darkness Comes. I don’t know that I really need to define what I mean by that, but just in case, I will. When I talk about darkness, I am talking about those times in life when things are very difficult. I am not talking about simple inconveniences, although get enough of them all at once, and I certainly start wondering who is trying to beat me up. What I am referring to when I say darkness are those times when you feel alone, discouraged and overwhelmed. However, it is not just feelings, that make something dark. It is a blend of what is going on in life, either your own or in the lives of those you love, a weight that feels especially burdensome, and how much of it you are carrying alone.

Image by cocoparisienne from Pixabay

“Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘Stretch out your hand toward the sky so that darkness spreads over Egypt—darkness that can be felt.’”

— Exodus 10:21 (NIV)

There are times darkness can be felt. This type of darkness is thick, dank, visceral, like a fog that rolls in over our souls from which we feel we will never be free. Grief is one of these dark times. When my father passed away 15 years ago, I felt as though a fog had rolled into my life and it seemed that it would always be there. Obviously, over time, the fog lifted and the darkness finally pulled away, but it is inevitable that these dark times will come. Let’s take a look at what God’s word says about darkness.

We already know that darkness was at the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth.

“ 1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
2 And the earth was a formless and desolate emptiness, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.”

— Genesis 1:1 (NASB)

Image by Ronile from Pixabay

I really like how this is phrased in the New American Standard Bible, “…and the earth was a formless and desolate emptiness.” I know when I am going through an especially dark struggle, I feel as though I am like that formless and desolate emptiness. I think many people can relate to this feeling. If we started to look at statistics on how many people are on psych medications, I would say that this feeling of emptiness is becoming more and more prominent.

As we look at darkness there are several things we must understand.

1 - To God Darkness and Light are no Different.

Image by jplenio from Pixabay

We looked at this verse last week, but let’s look at it again.

“Even darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You.”

— Psalm 139:12 (NASB)

For our limited minds it is hard to think that light and darkness could possibly be the same thing, but to an Almighty Creator, they are. Obviously, God can see just as well in the darkness as He can in the light. The differentiation of light and darkness was for our benefit. Knowing that God doesn’t make this differentiation can help us to understand how we can be walking through darkness or at least things that appear dark to you and I, and still have the solid assurance that God is with us.

Many times when we are encountering difficulty we tend to think God has left us, or at the least, that He is not listening to us. This is where we need to go back to the truth of God’s word. Hasn’t His word told us He is with us, always?

“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or in dread of them, for the Lord your God is the One who is going with you. He will not desert you or abandon you.”

— Deuteronomy 31:6 (NASB)

2 - Darkness was for our benefit.

Image by Enrique Meseguer from Pixabay

God knew exactly what His creation would need, from the plants that grew, to the creatures that walked, flew and swam, to the people He made, God knew that darkness would be a time to refresh, rest and relax from the busyness of work. Just like so many things that God made that were good, it is our enemy that has taken them and twisted them for his benefit alone.

“14 Then God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night, and they shall serve as signs and for seasons, and for days and years;
15 and they shall serve as lights in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth”; and it was so.
16 God made the two great lights, the greater light to govern the day, and the lesser light to govern the night; He made the stars also.
17 God placed them in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth,
18 and to govern the day and the night, and to separate the light from the darkness; and God saw that it was good. 19 And there was evening and there was morning, a fourth day.”

— Genesis 1:14-19 (NASB)

When we look at this passage from Genesis 1, we see that God made the differentiation between day and night, and the lights that were to govern these time frames. There was even a reason given as to why He made the sun, moon, stars and planets; it was so we could use them as signs for days, seasons and years. If you know anything about how the earth is positioned on its axis, how far it is away from the sun and the way it rotates, and revolves around the sun, you understand the complexity of this Creator and that even in the darkness, He provided the light of the moon and stars. This was all done for our good!

3 - Darkness is not bad.

Image by Tim Hill from Pixabay

It is easy to be afraid of the dark. Darkness can be a scary thing, especially if you have watched a creepy movie, or read a horror story. When I was growing up I loved to watch scary movies. I am also a fan of books like Dracula by Bram Stoker, The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux, and Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. However, in this world of incredible evil, spending too much time immersing ourselves in scary things can easily cause us to forget that darkness was created for our good.

Darkness is the absence of light, however, as we saw in the first chapter of Genesis, darkness wasn’t meant to be something evil, oppressive or gloomy. Darkness was created by a loving God who cared for His creation. Next week, we will take a closer look at how our enemy, Satan, turned what was meant for our wellbeing into a tool for our destruction.

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