Peace In the Chaos - Part 1 - Jesus, Our True Peace

I have thought lately, if I could manufacture peace in some sort of solid form, and sell it, I would be a billionaire. Peace seems as elusive as a night time mist that disappears in the morning sunlight. We are in the midst of a chaotic time in a chaotic world, and there are moments when peace seems to have withdrawn never to be found again.

Jesus knew there would be difficulty in life. The following verse comes at the end of a speech Jesus gives to His disciples where He shares words of warning, words of promise, words of prophecy and words on prayer. Read John 16 for the full context.

“33 These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.””

— John 16:33 (NASB 1995)

There are six things we can take away from this one verse that might help us in our search for peace.

Image by floyd99 from Pixabay

1 - Jesus spoke these words for a purpose. These would be the words that came before. Jesus didn’t want His followers to be blindsided. He wanted them to know what to expect. If we read the whole of the Scriptures, we can see that it was written so that we have this benefit as well. We are given God’s words so that we know what to expect when we sin, when we repent, when we are thankful, when we are sad, when we are disobedient or when we are lost. God’s Words are the Good News of Jesus Christ and the judgment to those who prefer to walk in darkness. The Bible isn’t some laced together ramblings of approximately 40 men over a period of 1500 years just to deceive mankind into following a cult. The Bible has a purpose, and that purpose is our reconciliation to God through Jesus’ death and resurrection brought about by His deep and amazing love for us, His Creation.

“16 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness;
17 so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.”

— 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NASB 1995)

Image by Annette Meyer from Pixabay

2 - Jesus wants us to have peace. If you are like me you may have struggled with the idea that God is truly loving. I used to think He was just waiting around for me to do something bad, and then BANG, He’d drop the hammer on me. Thankfully, as I have grown and matured as a Christ follower, I have come to realize this is absolutely not true. God’s love for us is so perfect that He cannot have bad, or ulterior motives, such as seeing us suffer just for suffering’s sake.

“1 See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. ”

— 1 John 3:1 (NASB 1995)

We are called His children. If you are a parent, especially one that really loves your kids, then you know why this is so mind blowing. The God of the universe loved us enough that He gives us the opportunity to become His children. Wow! Here’s a few more verses to drive this point home.

“15 For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!”
16 The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God,
17 and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.”

— Romans 8:15-17 (NASB 1995)

Jesus and His Father want us to have peace, as any loving parent would want for their children. As a parent I can testify how heart wrenching it is when your children do not have peace. This brings me to the next point Jesus makes connected directly to this idea of peace.

Image by Germán R from Pixabay

3 - Our peace is directly connected to Christ. Read carefully what Jesus says about peace, “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace.” The Christ follower’s peace goes hand in hand with Jesus. We will never have true, abiding peace without Him. Look what Isaiah prophesied:

“6 For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us;
And the government will rest on His shoulders;
And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.”

— Isaiah 9:6 (NASB 1995)

Jesus is called the Prince of Peace. He owns it. He is peace personified, and if we know Him, we too can have that peace.

I want to point out a little detail. Jesus says, “…so that in Me you MAY have peace.” We can know Jesus and still not have His peace. I will explore this idea in a future post, but for now rest in the fact that He is our peace, and without Him chaos will easily reign.

Image by Selver Učanbarlić from Pixabay

4 - We will have trouble in this world. Why are we shocked by the things happening in our country? We live in a fallen, darkened world. Trouble comes in all forms with a capital T. Whether we are dealing with our own difficulties: illness, financial burdens, relationship issues; or we are anxious due to the choices of others, our lives are constantly exposed to trouble. Our exposure is even more pronounced because we have phones, pads, and other tech to keep us up on what is happening all over the world almost at the exact moment it is happening.

A friend recently sent me a short video of a trauma therapist talking about how we are not meant to see some of the things we are seeing on the internet in this day and age. For example the killings of both Renee Good and Alex Pretti, whatever your point of view is on those, are not events we should be watching at all, let alone over and over from multiple angles. It desensitizes us and also raises our anxiety level. It makes me think, let’s not add trouble to the troubles we already have. Not that we shouldn’t be informed, but reading an article is a lot different than viewing images and video.

Remember who is on the prowl. That same one will use these troubles to create what? Peace? No! Chaos.

“Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

— I Peter 5:8 (NASB 1995)

Image from Pixabay

5 - We can take courage. It is very easy to let anxiety and fear run rampant in our minds and hearts when we see these discouraging events taking place; even more so, if we are already burdened with other difficulties. I know what is is like to be spread thin, as I am sure so many of you do too. With my health being a constant struggle and a constant mystery I already have days where I get easily discouraged. Add to that the loss of my mom on Christmas morning and then getting the flu right after we got through the funeral and the travel involved and you can bet I was feeling less than courageous.

I don’t have all the answers for difficult times except this one thing: lean in. Lean in to the grief, the sadness, the anger, the discouragement, and most importantly lean in to Christ and the truth of the Word.

“9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

— Joshua 1:9 (NASB 1995)

God made clear to Joshua that he did not need to be afraid, and that he could be strong and courageous. He didn’t need to be anxious or confused. Why? Because God was with him, and that same God is with us.

Image by Alexa from Pixabay

6 - Jesus has overcome the world. Nothing gives my heart more peace than those last words Jesus told his disciples. “I have overcome the world.” He didn’t say, “I might”, or “maybe some day I will”, but “I have.” Jesus has already overcome the anger, the conflict, the disunity, the fear, the selfishness, the pride, the lust for more power, and the darkness. The gospel of John confirms this idea.

“1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
2 He was in the beginning with God.
3 All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made.
4 In him was life, and the life was the light of men.
5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

— John 1:1-5 (ESV)

There is no difficulty, or person, or event that can overcome Jesus, the light of the world.

Embracing Sadness and Finding Joy: A Study of our Life in Jesus During the Holidays - Part 1: Embracing the Sad

The Holy Spirit inspired me one morning while I was doing my devotions to put together a short series for the month of December. The holidays can be a wonderful time of year, filled with activity, family and friends. However, for many, they can also be a time of great sadness and depression. People who have experienced loss can feel the holidays to be more of a prison, than a time of levity and light. Christmas, while exciting and full of anticipation, can become dark and foreboding for people who are struggling.

Image by patrycja1670 from Pixabay

In this post, I want to look at a few important points to remember when we are maneuvering the holidays, whether we are experiencing sadness ourselves, or we are walking with others through their feelings of grief and anxiety.

1 - Sadness is an emotion God gave us.

Being created in the image of God we were made, not to be robots programed from the great beyond with no ability to show emotion, but to have a broad range of feelings from happiness and joy, to fear and worry, to anger and frustration. Emotions were given to us, not to make us weak, but to give us greater strength to survive, live and to have a relationship with others and with our Creator.

“26 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.”

— Genesis 1:26-27 (ESV)

How would we have relationships without emotion? How would we know the emotion of peace, if we did not experience fear? How would we know the feeling of joy if we did not experience sorrow? How would we know love if we did not experience loss?

Emotions are a part of who we were created to be, and when given over to God, can be an integral part in making us whole as a person, and more suited to serve God and others. Here is a good article from Focus on the Family - What Does the Bible Say About Emotions?

2 - Sadness needs to be acknowledged and felt.

In one of my therapy sessions a few months ago, I told my counselor that my husband and I often feel we are experiencing “existential fatigue in the land of eternal sadness.” She thought that was a very interesting way to describe our lives at that point in time. She went on to explain that sadness was not a bad thing. In fact feeling sad was how our minds acknowledged that something was or is very important to us.

Grief is a very real emotion and is felt by more than just someone who has lost a loved one. Grief is felt by partners who are in the midst of divorce; by children who now have to split their time between parents; by the man who just lost his job of 30 years; by the woman who lost a breast to cancer; and even by the employee who now has to learn yet another new computer program to do their work. The difficulty comes when we push the sadness down and try to get past it without truly processing it.

When my father passed away back in 2006, I had never really experienced grief before other than the loss of a pet. I had never known my maternal grandparents, and we did not see my paternal grandparents all that often. When my grandfather died, I was pretty young, and when my grandmother passed I was in college and didn’t even get home for her funeral. However, my dad passing away was different. I remember quite distinctly wondering if he was cold as he lay in that grave that first cold January night after he was buried.

Image by H A R M O N I A P I C T U R A from Pixabay

I began a grief journal which allowed me to process, and I began to think of grief as a blanket. When I needed to feel that sadness, I would wrap up in that imaginary blanket and feel the pain. I would remember good things and even some of the bad about my dad and growing up as the youngest of three. When I felt I processed enough for a while, I would mentally fold the blanket back up and put it in an imaginary trunk where it would be ready for the next time I needed it.

We see the psalmist in the Old Testament grieving out loud in many of the psalms. Let’s look at a few.

“1 I cry aloud to God,
aloud to God, and he will hear me.
2 In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;
in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying;
my soul refuses to be comforted.
3 When I remember God, I moan;
when I meditate, my spirit faints. Selah
4 You hold my eyelids open;
I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
5 I consider the days of old,
the years long ago.
6 I said, “Let me remember my song in the night;
let me meditate in my heart.”
Then my spirit made a diligent search:
7 “Will the Lord spurn forever,
and never again be favorable?
8 Has his steadfast love forever ceased?
Are his promises at an end for all time?
9 Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he in anger shut up his compassion?” Selah”

— Psalm 77:1-9 (ESV)

In this psalm the writer is so grieved he feels that God has forgotten him. God is not offended by these feelings. He knows our hearts and He wants us to acknowledge these feelings and bring them to Him.

“1 Save me, O God!
For the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in deep mire,
where there is no foothold;
I have come into deep waters,
and the flood sweeps over me.
3 I am weary with my crying out;
my throat is parched.
My eyes grow dim
with waiting for my God.”

— Psalm 69:1-3 (ESV)

I think most of us have felt this way at some point in time….up to our neck in the mire of trouble, fear and sadness. Acknowledging these emotions God gave us is important for our mental health and for our relationships.

3. Embracing the sad without losing our minds.

How then, do we embrace sadness without being overcome with the many other emotions that surround grief like anger, frustration, or fear? In addition, how do I walk through grief without heading down the road of depression, or anxiety? Seeing as I am not a psychiatrist, or a certified counselor, the tips I am going to list here are suggestions, and in no way should replace the sound advice of a professional. If you feel too overwhelmed to navigate sadness on your own, please seek help.

A - Take out the blanket. I think having an actual, physical blanket that you use specifically for grieving is a great way to not only have a physical connection to sadness, but also a way to be kind to yourself by cuddling up in a cozy, soft blanket. In addition it allows a set time for you to purposefully feel sadness.

Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

B - Turn to physical activity. I am not just talking about exercise, although that is at the top of the list, but even activity done with your hands like dishes, laundry, mending, ironing, or baking. Not only are you getting your mind off the grief for a little while, but you may be getting a few things done. Let’s face it, in times of sadness a lot of things go undone, because we are just trying to survive.

Walking, especially outdoors is another great physical activity that allows us to turn from sadness to feeling the chill in the air, or smelling the wonderful smells of the changing seasons. If you can stand being in a crowd, go to the mall and people watch, or take yourself out for lunch. Being kind to ourselves during times of sadness is very important.

C - Allow the tears. Crying is a great way to release pent up cortisol, and too much cortisol can result in feelings of anxiety, panic and shutting down. God knows every one of our tears, so like the psalmist, don’t be afraid or ashamed to cry out to Him.

Image by Md Nirob Bhuiyan from Pixabay

D - Incorporate artistic snippets into your daily routine. Look for music, art, small craft projects, or even coloring to do in your down time. Music is always a mood booster, or even a mood embracer. Listening to sad music, or watching a sad movie, might also help with that cortisol release. There are hundreds of adult coloring books that provide mindless activity, but also enable you to keep busy creating a colorful picture without the pressure to perform.

E - Get up. Take a shower. Get dressed. When a person is in the throes of heart wrenching grief, even those first steps each day of getting up, taking a shower and getting dressed are steps towards the future; of moving on without that loved one; of acknowledging I am important too and need to keep going.

Image by Olya Adamovich from Pixabay

F - Remember. This is two-fold. There may be times when you don’t have the time to take out the blanket and properly grieve, but it is okay to remember. Memories are part of the process to acknowledge grief, and also move on at the same time.

In addition, if you are a Christ follower, remember God’s faithfulness. The psalmist did just that.

“10 Then I said, “I will appeal to this,
to the years of the right hand of the Most High.”
11 I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
12 I will ponder all your work,
and meditate on your mighty deeds.
13 Your way, O God, is holy.
What god is great like our God?
14 You are the God who works wonders;
you have made known your might among the peoples.
15 You with your arm redeemed your people,
the children of Jacob and Joseph. Selah
16 When the waters saw you, O God,
when the waters saw you, they were afraid;
indeed, the deep trembled.
17 The clouds poured out water;
the skies gave forth thunder;
your arrows flashed on every side.
18 The crash of your thunder was in the whirlwind;
your lightnings lighted up the world;
the earth trembled and shook.
19 Your way was through the sea,
your path through the great waters;
yet your footprints were unseen.
20 You led your people like a flock
by the hand of Moses and Aaron.”

— Psalm 77:10-20 (ESV)

G - Don’t try to carry sad on your own. God meant for us to depend, not only on Him, but on others. Whether you make an appointment to speak with a counselor, or you have a lunch date with a family member, or you take a walk with a friend, allow people to know what you are carrying and ask them to help.

H - Help others. Helping others, especially during the holiday season is another way to help us through a time of sadness and grief. It reminds us that others are struggling too, and I can still help out, even though I am experiencing sadness.

This brings me to my final point. How do I help others who are going through the sadness, especially at the holidays?

Image by Vinzent Weinbeer from Pixabay

1 - Check in on people. Don’t let people maneuver their grief alone. Learn how to help by asking questions. Maybe they don’t need your advice, but a home cooked meal and your presence to eat it with them can make all the difference.

2 - Pray, and share God’s words of encouragement. We all know the holidays can be extra hard, especially for people who are grieving the loss of a loved one, or the loss of their own health. They need you to check in, but they also need you to pray for them. I know for me personally someone who takes the time to pray with me over the phone or in person reminds me I am seen and cared for.

3 - Don’t assume. It is easy to assume that people are doing just fine because they are past whatever initially made them sad in the first place, but often that is not the case. People can grieve for months over things like job loss and health problems, or years over the loss of a spouse or child. Don’t assume they have moved on. The best way to know is to talk to people and be curious without being pushy.

4 - Be there. I know life is crazy busy, but when you can, make the choice to be present in the other person’s life. Call, text, send them a note, invite them to share a meal, take them to a movie or an event. Be a true friend by showing them you care with your time.

Next week we will be looking more closely at remembering God’s faithfulness when we are in a season of sad. Until then, I wish you moments of utmost joy as you head towards this Christmas!

Book Review - The Garden Within by Dr. Anita Phillips

I was given the opportunity by Frontgate Media to review another book. In exchange for the review I am provided with a free copy of the book. I like to be choosy about which things I review and recommend to you, the readers and subscribers of my blog. I try to choose things that speak to where we are as women, and more specifically, women of faith.

The Garden Within by Dr. Anita Phillips is another book I found compelling and useful. Dr. Phillips is a minister, therapist, and life coach.

“Widely recognized as a thought leader at the intersection of mental health, faith and culture, Dr. Anita holds degrees from the University of Maryland and Regent University and completed a postdoctoral fellowship at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health.”

— The Garden Within - Book Jacket

In this book Dr. Phillips discusses why embracing our emotions is key to living a truly powerful life. She combines ideas from neurobiology, faith and her own research in showing how strengthening our emotional well being will also help to strengthen our physical bodies, renew our minds and reawaken our spiritual joy.

She believes God created us with the heart as the center of the human experience, rather than the mind. She also believes Jesus, who was completely in touch with His emotions, understood this to be true, and offers examples from the scripture from weeping in front of Lazarus’ tomb (John 11:35), to anger in the temple over the money changers (Matt. 21:12), to wrestling in the garden with the anguish of what awaited him on the cross (Luke 22:42).

“You don’t need to overthrow your emotions to experience a revolution in your life. You just need to overthrow the lies you have believed about your emotions. The Creator designed your heart to be a garden, not a war zone. A truly powerful life isn’t won. It’s cultivated.”

— The Garden Within - p. xxv

The Garden Within is divided into three sections: Part 1 - Soil Power, Part 2 - Deeply Rooted, and Part 3 - The Embodied Garden. Each of these sections takes a look at our emotional tapestry through the analogy of a garden.

When Anita was a child in 5th grade science class she was fascinated by her teacher’s assignment of growing a pea plant in wet paper towels rather than dirt. Her teacher wanted the students to understand how much growth went on before the plant was ever above the soil. Her fascination with plants continued all throughout her education, but when she was a mother of two, a licensed therapist and working on her PhD she found herself again in a science class.

At the same time Anita was delving into a study of the book of Romans. Only a few verses into the first chapter she was stunned by Romans 1:20.

“20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse,”

— Romans 1:20 (NKJV)

The next day her assigned reading was an introduction to neurons. Upon, seeing a picture of a neuron she was flabbergasted to see it looked almost exactly like her pea plant. God had made both the pea plant and the neuron. Anita realized there were to many passages in scripture that had to do with plants, trees and gardens. These passages were used to teach spiritual lessons and guidelines for living. She felt God was revealing to her a deep connection between the world as He created it and the world He created inside of us in the form of our emotions, thoughts and actions.

Illustration from The Garden Within - p. 7

Dr. Phillips found herself searching for answers to a number of questions and this is what she discovered:

1 - How does Scripture define well-being? As a garden. (Isaiah 58:11)

2 - What is mean to grow in the garden? Relationships, purpose and legacy - things that give our life meaning.

3 - Where is the garden planted? In the soil of our hearts.

4 - What makes that soil fertile? Faith, hope and love.

5 - What is emotional well-being? Our capacity - and willingness - to be aware of, acknowledge, and experience all our emotions.

6 - What happens when we cultivate emotional well-being? We unleash, sustain and nourish the full power of the word-seeds that we choose to plant in our garden within.

7 - Is this what it means to live a powerful life? Yes.

(Points taken from The Garden Within - pp. 43-44)

Anita uses the events of Creation, and the Parable of the Sower and the Seed to further expand on these points and show us how to begin cultivating our own garden within by first determining what we want to grow in the three zones of relationships, purpose and legacy. We then prepare our soil, or our hearts by pulling weeds and cleaning and checking the soil by being aware of how we are doing emotionally. Next we set up a watering system. Just as gardens have to be intentionally watered, so too our emotional well being needs to be taken care of. Finally, we determine to plant good seeds.

“Our spiritual well being hinges on the quality of the word-seeds sown because they determine what we believe is true about God and ourselves. Each seed is a potential blessing or potential curse.””

— The Garden Within - p. 71

Anita points out that these word-seeds come to us from all directions including things we tell ourselves. What we choose to plant, or listen to, will determine what grows in the garden of our hearts.

There is a lot of information in this book and I personally feel it will require several readings to fully grasp all the concepts and wisdom within its pages. However, Dr. Phillips does address a number of prominent emotions: sadness (including loneliness and grief), anger, and fear. She gives examples and outlines a therapeutic processes for each emotion to help dig in and cultivate the soil in our hearts.

I would recommend this book for anyone who has gone through emotional trauma, or who has just been part of the “don’t express it, or talk about it” culture. I am going to be reading through this again and taking notes to glean even more. If yo would like to buy your own copy of The Garden Within by Dr. Anita Phillips, just click on the link.