A Year of Waiting - Tarry

The word tarry as defined in Webster’s Online Dictionary means: to delay or be tardy in action or doing; to linger in expectation; wait; to abide or stay in or at a place; stay, or sojourn. Tarry is an older word used in the first few senses in the 14th century. Ask yourself, how often do I use the word tarry today? We don’t usually say, “I tarried at the train station.” “I’m going to tarry at the seashore.” “I’m sure to tarry in line at the concert.” It sounds rather archaic.

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When it comes to this word journey I have been on for the year 2024, I like the way tarry opens up other doors and windows to this idea of waiting. As I have noted previously, waiting can be a complete drag, and most of us would not sign up for an adventure in waiting, but our lives are full of lines, traffic jams, delays, and prospects of a future that require we wait.

When I hear the word tarry, I do not think of a long term situation. However, if we look at the King James Version of scripture, which uses a synonym, sojourn we see that the span of time could be quite lengthy.

Now the sojourning of the children of Israel, who dwelt in Egypt, was four hundred and thirty years.
— Exodus 12:40 (KJV)

Still we get the sense that it was not intended to be forever. When God speaks of a long term living situation He often uses the word dwell, or abide. We took a closer look at the word abide in February. You can see that post here.

1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
2 It is like the precious oil upon the head,
Coming down upon the beard,
Even Aaron’s beard,
Coming down upon the edge of his robes.
3 It is like the dew of Hermon
Coming down upon the mountains of Zion;
For there the Lord commanded the blessing—life forever.
— Psalm 133 (NASB 1995)

Psalm 133 has a tone I would associate with a long term living situation. God intended that we dwell together in unity in a place where we experience the blessing of life forever. In this psalm it is a reference to Zion, which we can also look at as eternity with God. With the state many of our current churches are in it can be hard to imagine being able to dwell with those same brothers or sisters together forever in unity. Ha, ha. However, God said it will be true. We won’t just be tarrying, but putting down roots and dwelling.

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Since we already looked at the idea of abide, I wanted to spend some time thinking about what it means to tarry with God. I have learned, it is essential that we tarry with God as much as we can, especially when our lives are pulling us in so many directions. You might feel on any given day, “I don’t have time to abide. I am too busy.” However, if we don’t find the time, God will give us the time, and that is not always preferable as it usually comes with some sort of difficulty. God is not mean hearted, He loves you purely with everlasting love, and He knows exactly what you need, and that is directly linked to the time you spend with Him.

Let me give you a personal example. I was really struggling for several weeks this past month. I was exhausted, discouraged and my heart felt so heavy. Grief was a blanket I was regularly wrapping up in. Grief over my mom being in a nursing home and not being able to be there to help with her care. Grief over my children who have walked away from the truth of the scripture and the love of Jesus. Grief over the state of our country and the fear of the looming downward spiral. Grief over relationships. Grief over loved ones with cancer and other illnesses. Grief over other people’s kids who were struggling with addictions and various other issues. Grief over my own health. The list goes on.

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I am learning the importance of acknowledging these feelings and allowing myself to feel them. They are real, after all, and are felt on the deepest levels. However, we all know we can’t live in those dark places. We always need to return to the light, otherwise the darkness will become an all too comfortable place to abide and dwell.

I felt God pulling me. Whispering to me, “Amy, come to Me. Spend time with Me. Only I can meet every need and help you bear every burden.” I know this to be true, but as you know our flesh wars against us every chance it gets. Finally, one sunny afternoon, I took my Bible and my prayer journal out on the patio and began a search through the scriptures. I was looking for Psalm 34:18

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
— Psalm 34:18 (NASB 1995)

I knew it was in the psalms, but I couldn’t remember where, so I just started leafing through. God brought me two different passages.

8 Depart from me, all you who do iniquity,
For the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping.
9 The Lord has heard my supplication,
The Lord receives my prayer.
— Psalm 6:8-9 (NASB 1995)

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1 “I love You, O Lord, my strength.”
2 The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
3 I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
And I am saved from my enemies.
— Psalm 18:1-3 (NASB 1995)

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When we tarry with God we can find peace and joy, even in the midst of our grief and pain. When we tarry we spend time, even just a small amount of time, doing the following:

1 - Remembering God’s character - He hears our weeping, our supplication and He receives our prayers. Don’t you love that? God isn’t ashamed of our emotions. He wants us to come and ask. He is our Abba, Father and He loves us. He wants to hear our prayers. He doesn’t just hear them, He receives them. He takes them on as His own. Remember The Bee Keeper? If you don’t, buzz on over to that post for a refresher.

2 - Acknowledging His abilities - He is our strength. He is our rock, our fortress, and our deliverer. He is our shield. He is our salvation. He is our stronghold. He is our refuge. All of these things are His abilities, and He gives them to us without reserve. He can protect, give strength, and get us through anything that comes our way.

7 Then the earth shook and quaked;
And the foundations of the mountains were trembling
And were shaken, because He was angry.
8 Smoke went up out of His nostrils,
And fire from His mouth devoured;
Coals were kindled by it.
9 He bowed the heavens also, and came down
With thick darkness under His feet.
10 He rode upon a cherub and flew;
And He sped upon the wings of the wind.
11 He made darkness His hiding place, His canopy around Him,
Darkness of waters, thick clouds of the skies.
12 From the brightness before Him passed His thick clouds,
Hailstones and coals of fire.
13 The Lord also thundered in the heavens,
And the Most High uttered His voice,
Hailstones and coals of fire.
14 He sent out His arrows, and scattered them,
And lightning flashes in abundance, and routed them.
15 Then the channels of water appeared,
And the foundations of the world were laid bare
At Your rebuke, O Lord,
At the blast of the breath of Your nostrils.
— Psalm 18:7-15 (NASB 1995)

3 - Renewing our understanding of Him - I have read Psalm 18 numerous times, but the Scripture, being that it is living and active, spoke to me anew. The above verses floored me. He is not just a gentle and loving God; He is a powerful, mighty force able to move mountains with a thought. He has, can and will display holy anger when the time is right for His wrath and will to be accomplished. It sets my heart to quaking, but also fills me with hope. He will have the final word, and all that is dark, and ugly, and painful will be burned away in His purest, most holy light.

16 He sent from on high, He took me;
He drew me out of many waters.
17 He delivered me from my strong enemy,
And from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me.
18 They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
But the Lord was my stay.
19 He brought me forth also into a broad place;
He rescued me, because He delighted in me.
— Psalm 18:16-19 (NASB 1995)
49 Therefore I will give thanks to You among the nations, O Lord,
And I will sing praises to Your name.
— Psalm 18:49 (NASB 1995)

4 - Thanking Him for all He has done - If you can only tarry for a few minutes, I think this is the best bench to sit on. Gratitude is known to change hearts, minds, health, and perspective. When we sit for a few minutes on God’s goodness and provision to us it gives us the ability to keep going because we come away with hope. With God there is always hope.

Take it from me, if you are struggling with grief, pain, bitterness or other unresolved feelings and situations it certainly is helpful to talk it out with a trusted friend or counselor, but also don’t forget to tarry for a little while with Jesus. He makes all the difference.

When Darkness Comes - Part 8: When Feelings and Truth Meet

This series is long, but I don’t want to skim these ideas. God and His word are so incredibly complex and beautiful. We do ourselves an injustice when we do not truly understand, and believe, what He is trying to say to us. Remember at the very beginning of this series, I talked about how God created the darkness? Remember how I shared that the darkness was made for our benefit; for rest; for growth? The same is true of the darkness we are walking through. No matter what the darkness is, even those things that the devil meant for our destruction, God can and will use to make us into His perfect and beautiful children. There is one thing we must do…be willing to let Him pierce us. In the same way the nails pierced the gentle hands, and the sword pierced the side of our Messiah, we share in His sufferings when we let God pierce our hearts with His truth. It is by sharing in His sufferings that we receive our greatest comfort.

Image by jonnapeitso from Pixabay

Image by jonnapeitso from Pixabay

For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.
— 2 Corinthians 1:5 (NASB)

Last week I focused on the need for expressing and acknowledging our emotions during these times of darkness. God is not a weakling. He can handle anything we throw at Him, whether it be sadness, horror, anger, jealously, despair, anxiety and more. It is obvious when reading through the scriptures, ever since our initial creation and subsequent fall to sin, God spoke His truth to the writers in order to bring us comfort, peace, joy, courage and the ability to express our innermost thoughts without fear of retribution.

David and the writers of the Psalms, as well as Job, Jeremiah, Solomon and others filled pages of scripture with emotional musings.

Why are you in despair, my soul? And why are you restless within me? Wait for God, for I will again praise Him For the help of His presence, my God.
— Psalm 43:5 (NASB)
How long am I to feel anxious in my soul, With grief in my heart all the day? How long will my enemy be exalted over me?
— Psalm 13:2 (NASB)
I am disgusted with my own life; I will express my complaint freely; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.
— Job 10:1 (NASB)
My sorrow is beyond healing, My heart is faint within me!
— Jeremiah 8:18 (NASB)
Why did I ever come out of the womb To look at trouble and sorrow, So that my days have been spent in shame?
— Jeremiah 20:18 (NASB)
Do not be eager in your spirit to be angry, For anger resides in the heart of fools.
— Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NASB)
Say to those with anxious heart, “Take courage, fear not. Behold, your God will come with vengeance; The retribution of God will come, But He will save you.”
— Isaiah 35:4 (NASB)

Truth growth in the Christian’s life most often happens when God’s truth meets the raw edges of our intense emotions. When we take His word and apply it to our feelings, and our circumstances His light permeates our darkest dark.

For the word of God is living and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, even penetrating as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
— Hebrews 4:12 (NASB)

When I am struggling in the dark, I am often unsure, confused and overwhelmed. With God there is no confusion. With His word, His truth, revealed by His Holy Spirit there is only surety and purity. This makes all the difference when we are struggling.

Once again, let me share my own journey. Once I acknowledged my despair and sadness to the Father, He brought me back to two particular scriptures: Psalm 16:11 and Psalm 27:14. For this particular post I will expand only on the second.

Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.
— Psalm 27:14 (NASB)
Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Waiting has always been hard. Waiting for the salvation of our loved ones who are not walking with You; waiting for a diagnosis and treatment for our daughter; waiting for the birth of our second grandson...but perhaps I am missing the point. The verse doesn’t emphasize WHAT we are waiting for, but WHO...You!

While we are waiting we are to be doing two things -
1 - Be strong - perhaps this is where I am struggling the most. I have often thought of myself as fairly strong - all the crazy stuff Mark and I have gone through - but perhaps, I am not really very strong.

I obviously get upset and emotional when, if I had been leaning on You, I would have had the strength I needed. I have been guilty of wanting my strength to come from others, but there are other scriptures like Ephesians 6:10.

Before Paul launched into the armor of God He says, ‘Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.’
It doesn’t say, ‘Be strong in your spouse, be strong in your church, be strong in your own strength - it says be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.
— Amy's Journal - 5/24/21

From this point, I looked at a cross reference from Ephesians 6:10 to Ephesians 1:19, but I looked at it within the context of Ephesians 1:18-23. To keep this from getting to long, feel free to click on the link, or grab your Bible and take a look at this passage. It is worth while, to truly understand what that phrase, “…in the strength of His might,” encompasses.

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The strength of His might was brought about when He raised Jesus from the dead and placed Him on His right hand in the heavenly places, and gave Him (Jesus) power, rule, authority and dominion over all.

SO...when it says I am to be strong in the strength of His might it is telling me I do not have to be strong in my strength or power. NO! I am to be strong in the same might that raised Jesus from the dead; not only from the dead, but to His position over all.

2 - Take Courage - The second thing I am to do is take courage (mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty). When looking up the meaning of this word, it seems that courage, or taking it up refers to a cause. What is the reason I have to be courageous; or from whom do I get my courage. It is from the Lord Jesus Christ.

The end result is that as I am waiting on the Lord, He will be my strength and my courage. I am not alone in this.

Thank you Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
— Amy's Journal - 5/24/21

When God’s word pierces me it is as though I enter into a layer of God I never understood before. I have read through the Bible multiple times over my life as a believer, but I stand amazed at how His Spirit stabs straight to the heart, changing my perspective and my understanding when I am truly open to His teaching. More often than not, this happens when I am walking in the dark.

Don’t be afraid to wrestle with God. Don’t be afraid to search His word and pray the eyes of your heart will be open. Allow Him to pierce you through to the heart.

Next week we will look at the role of thanksgiving in the dark. Have a great weekend!