Embracing Sadness and Finding Joy: A Study of our Life in Jesus during the Holidays - Part 2: Remembering God's Faithfulness

If you are following along this December, I am doing a short series on the emotion of sadness during the holidays. Holidays for many are not the bright, merry celebrations we tend to hear about. Instead, they are filled with pain, hurt, anger, sadness and despair. The reasons are many, from the death of a spouse or child, to divorce, to the loss of a job or health, to the state of our country. Many people are struggling with feeling depressed and overwhelmed.

Image by Armando Orozco from Pixabay

The reason I decided to broach this topic was in part to share what I have learned about carrying sadness on a regular basis, but still being able to function and live a full and productive life. Sadness isn’t something that we necessarily need to be free of, but rather something we need to embrace and learn how to accept and manage.

Last week we looked at what embracing sadness looks like and explored a few thoughts on how we can manage our own sadness, or how we can help others who are feeling more down than usual at this time of year. Tips included: having a grieving blanket, physical activity, artistic pursuits, and allowing others to help carry the burden. Another suggestion was to remember the faithfulness of God, and that is what we are going to look at this week.

The Old and New Testaments of the Bible are full of examples of God’s faithfulness. If we are in a particular dark state of mind we might read some of the Biblical accounts and only see God’s wrath, judgment and impatience, but as with all things if we look only for the darkness, we will only encounter darkness. True freedom lies in following and embracing the light of Christ.

Image by Daniel Reche from Pixabay

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
2 He was in the beginning with God.
3 All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made.
4 In him was life, and the life was the light of men.
5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
6 There was a man sent from God, whose name was John.
7 He came as a witness, to bear witness about the light, that all might believe through him.
8 He was not the light, but came to bear witness about the light.
9 The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world.
10 He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him.
11 He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him.
12 But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God,
13 who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.
14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.
15 (John bore witness about him, and cried out, “This was he of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.’”)
16 For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.
17 For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
18 No one has ever seen God; God the only Son, who is at the Father’s side, he has made him known.
— John 1:1-18 (ESV)

God provides everything that we need to live life in this dark world, but the most important thing He provided was the Light, the life of His Son Jesus Christ. Try to imagine living in a world with no light. How would you be able to live life? There is the rather comedic aspect of running into walls, crashing into cars, and stepping on Legos in the living room, but it goes much deeper than that. Light is essential for plants to grow, which in turn produce oxygen, which gives us the ability to breath. Light is essential for our mental health. Take it from a sufferer of Seasonal Affective Disorder, sunlight is absolutely necessary for me to feel human. Light is also an important element in the deterrence of crime, otherwise, why would so many business owners leave lights on around their property?

Probably the most important aspect to light is that it lets us see. There is the physical aspect of sight which keeps us from running into things and helps us to recognize things and people. It also allows us to learn and study. Similarly, spiritual sight, given to us through the Holy Spirit, allows us to know God and His Word better. Abiding in the light enables to turn from the darkness and recognize God’s constant faithfulness.

“The Rock! His work is perfect, For all His ways are just; A God of faithfulness and without injustice, Righteous and upright is He.
— Deuteronomy 32:4 (NASB 1995)
Your lovingkindness, O Lord, extends to the heavens, Your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
— Psalm 36:5 (NASB 1995)
He will cover you with His pinions, And under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.
— Psalm 91:4 (NASB 1995)

I find this last verse interesting. “His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.” We all know what a shield is, but what is a bulwark? Websters online dictionary defines bulwark as: a solid wall-like structure raised for defense; a seawall; a strong support or protection. If God’s faithfulness is a shield and bulwark, then that means His faithfulness is supporting and protecting us. Might it also mean, that when we choose to remember His faithfulness, it helps protect our minds from spending too much time in the darkness? Perhaps recalling God’s faithfulness is the best way to protect ourselves from the unbridled pain and despair we can feel when we are grieving.

In other versions of the Bible instead of the word, bulwark, or rampart the word is buckler. A buckler is a small shield and to my understanding it was a shield that was used during hand to hand combat. It was a shield that was held close to the body, and could also be maneuvered to block the enemy’s strikes. Whether you like the idea of a strong wall of defense or a small shield used in daily battle with the enemy, the reality is both are true. God is our defense, and His faithfulness allows us to extinguish the flaming arrows of despair, bitterness and hatred that Satan sends our way.

As I said in my first post, sadness is an emotion God gave us and by embracing it we allow ourselves to process those strong feelings in a healthy way, but if we allow ourselves to only see the sadness, and not remember the joy, or the laughter, we risk becoming shrouded in a darkness that might lead to a place of no return.

So, how do we remember God’s faithfulness when we are feeling overwhelmed by the sad? Let’s look at a few ideas.

1 - Pray. Ask God to help you to remember His faithfulness. Perhaps you prayed for something specific and that prayer was answered. Maybe you needed direction regarding a decision and He gave it to you. Remember God is not just faithful in the big things, He’s also faithful in the tiny details. Ask Him to help you remember those times and write those things down.

I did this recently, and God brought to my mind His faithfulness to me as a child. Growing up in a Bible believing church, I was fortunate to be surrounded by Biblical teaching, but hearing God’s word, does not necessarily mean we will follow Him. When I was very young, perhaps in kindergarten or 1st grade I had a Sunday School teacher named Miss Draper. An older, single woman, she was all vim and vinegar, but she genuinely cared about her students. I remember she took a trip to Europe. When she came back she had gifts for each of the children in her class. When I opened mine it was a little chalet of sorts. The roof opened and from within came the most beautiful music. Her gesture of kindness set me on a road of wanting to know Jesus. Oh what the love of a person living in obedience to Christ can do to change the world.

Image by Steve Haselden from Pixabay

2 - Read Scripture. I know these suggestions are not anything new, but how much more we need to be seeking our precious Lord, when we are in the throes of sadness and heartbreak. Scripture is full of examples of God’s faithfulness. Think of His provision for Adam and Eve’s nakedness after the fall (Genesis 3:21); or what about His faithfulness to Noah and His family during a catastrophic, world wide flood (Genesis 7:23); and don’t forget the restoration He gave to Job after allowing Satan to take everything away (Job 42:10-17); and one of my favorite accounts of His lovingkindness was to Ruth, a woman not even a Jew, given a place in the lineage of Jesus our King of Kings (Ruth 4). Start to finish, the Bible is a ribbon of God’s faithfulness, provision, love and intervention on the behalf of humanity, the greatest of these being Christ’s entry into our world as a baby.

mage by Ingela Skullman from Pixabay

3 - Look for God’s faithfulness and provision in the day to day. All may seem bleak until we start exercising the eyes of our hearts. Our physical eyes might only see the darkness; the pain, the despair, the unknown, but our spiritual eyes can see things beyond this physical world.

15 For this reason I too, having heard of the faith in the Lord Jesus which exists among you and your love for all the saints,
16 do not cease giving thanks for you, while making mention of you in my prayers;
17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him.
18 I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints,
19 and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might
20 which He brought about in Christ, when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places,
21 far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come.
22 And He put all things in subjection under His feet, and gave Him as head over all things to the church,
23 which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.
— Ephesians 1:15-23 (NASB 1995)

Paul’s prayer pertains to us when we are grieving. He prays that we would see with the eyes of our hearts so that: we would know the hope of His calling, the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. Look and see.

Image by Adrian from Pixabay

4 - Treasure thanksgiving. Having just celebrated Thanksgiving a few weeks ago here in the U.S. it is good to take this idea into the Christmas holidays, especially when we are sad. Giving thanks is not only a mood lifter, but it forces us to refocus our mind from the darkness to the light. Start small if that is all you can manage. Thank God for a warm bed, a hot shower, food, clean water, and a place to live. Even if all of these were striped away from us, we could still be thankful for Him; for His presence; for His character; for the fact that He does not change. Is it always easy to give thanks? No. But it is desired by our Creator.

in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
— 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NASB 1995)

I hope this week you will find many moments to remember God’s faithfulness.

Book Review - The Garden Within by Dr. Anita Phillips

I was given the opportunity by Frontgate Media to review another book. In exchange for the review I am provided with a free copy of the book. I like to be choosy about which things I review and recommend to you, the readers and subscribers of my blog. I try to choose things that speak to where we are as women, and more specifically, women of faith.

The Garden Within by Dr. Anita Phillips is another book I found compelling and useful. Dr. Phillips is a minister, therapist, and life coach.

Widely recognized as a thought leader at the intersection of mental health, faith and culture, Dr. Anita holds degrees from the University of Maryland and Regent University and completed a postdoctoral fellowship at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health.
— The Garden Within - Book Jacket

In this book Dr. Phillips discusses why embracing our emotions is key to living a truly powerful life. She combines ideas from neurobiology, faith and her own research in showing how strengthening our emotional well being will also help to strengthen our physical bodies, renew our minds and reawaken our spiritual joy.

She believes God created us with the heart as the center of the human experience, rather than the mind. She also believes Jesus, who was completely in touch with His emotions, understood this to be true, and offers examples from the scripture from weeping in front of Lazarus’ tomb (John 11:35), to anger in the temple over the money changers (Matt. 21:12), to wrestling in the garden with the anguish of what awaited him on the cross (Luke 22:42).

You don’t need to overthrow your emotions to experience a revolution in your life. You just need to overthrow the lies you have believed about your emotions. The Creator designed your heart to be a garden, not a war zone. A truly powerful life isn’t won. It’s cultivated.
— The Garden Within - p. xxv

The Garden Within is divided into three sections: Part 1 - Soil Power, Part 2 - Deeply Rooted, and Part 3 - The Embodied Garden. Each of these sections takes a look at our emotional tapestry through the analogy of a garden.

When Anita was a child in 5th grade science class she was fascinated by her teacher’s assignment of growing a pea plant in wet paper towels rather than dirt. Her teacher wanted the students to understand how much growth went on before the plant was ever above the soil. Her fascination with plants continued all throughout her education, but when she was a mother of two, a licensed therapist and working on her PhD she found herself again in a science class.

At the same time Anita was delving into a study of the book of Romans. Only a few verses into the first chapter she was stunned by Romans 1:20.

20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse,
— Romans 1:20 (NKJV)

The next day her assigned reading was an introduction to neurons. Upon, seeing a picture of a neuron she was flabbergasted to see it looked almost exactly like her pea plant. God had made both the pea plant and the neuron. Anita realized there were to many passages in scripture that had to do with plants, trees and gardens. These passages were used to teach spiritual lessons and guidelines for living. She felt God was revealing to her a deep connection between the world as He created it and the world He created inside of us in the form of our emotions, thoughts and actions.

Illustration from The Garden Within - p. 7

Dr. Phillips found herself searching for answers to a number of questions and this is what she discovered:

1 - How does Scripture define well-being? As a garden. (Isaiah 58:11)

2 - What is mean to grow in the garden? Relationships, purpose and legacy - things that give our life meaning.

3 - Where is the garden planted? In the soil of our hearts.

4 - What makes that soil fertile? Faith, hope and love.

5 - What is emotional well-being? Our capacity - and willingness - to be aware of, acknowledge, and experience all our emotions.

6 - What happens when we cultivate emotional well-being? We unleash, sustain and nourish the full power of the word-seeds that we choose to plant in our garden within.

7 - Is this what it means to live a powerful life? Yes.

(Points taken from The Garden Within - pp. 43-44)

Anita uses the events of Creation, and the Parable of the Sower and the Seed to further expand on these points and show us how to begin cultivating our own garden within by first determining what we want to grow in the three zones of relationships, purpose and legacy. We then prepare our soil, or our hearts by pulling weeds and cleaning and checking the soil by being aware of how we are doing emotionally. Next we set up a watering system. Just as gardens have to be intentionally watered, so too our emotional well being needs to be taken care of. Finally, we determine to plant good seeds.

Our spiritual well being hinges on the quality of the word-seeds sown because they determine what we believe is true about God and ourselves. Each seed is a potential blessing or potential curse.”
— The Garden Within - p. 71

Anita points out that these word-seeds come to us from all directions including things we tell ourselves. What we choose to plant, or listen to, will determine what grows in the garden of our hearts.

There is a lot of information in this book and I personally feel it will require several readings to fully grasp all the concepts and wisdom within its pages. However, Dr. Phillips does address a number of prominent emotions: sadness (including loneliness and grief), anger, and fear. She gives examples and outlines a therapeutic processes for each emotion to help dig in and cultivate the soil in our hearts.

I would recommend this book for anyone who has gone through emotional trauma, or who has just been part of the “don’t express it, or talk about it” culture. I am going to be reading through this again and taking notes to glean even more. If yo would like to buy your own copy of The Garden Within by Dr. Anita Phillips, just click on the link.