A Year of Waiting - Tarry

The word tarry as defined in Webster’s Online Dictionary means: to delay or be tardy in action or doing; to linger in expectation; wait; to abide or stay in or at a place; stay, or sojourn. Tarry is an older word used in the first few senses in the 14th century. Ask yourself, how often do I use the word tarry today? We don’t usually say, “I tarried at the train station.” “I’m going to tarry at the seashore.” “I’m sure to tarry in line at the concert.” It sounds rather archaic.

Image by Thomas from Pixabay

When it comes to this word journey I have been on for the year 2024, I like the way tarry opens up other doors and windows to this idea of waiting. As I have noted previously, waiting can be a complete drag, and most of us would not sign up for an adventure in waiting, but our lives are full of lines, traffic jams, delays, and prospects of a future that require we wait.

When I hear the word tarry, I do not think of a long term situation. However, if we look at the King James Version of scripture, which uses a synonym, sojourn we see that the span of time could be quite lengthy.

“Now the sojourning of the children of Israel, who dwelt in Egypt, was four hundred and thirty years.”

— Exodus 12:40 (KJV)

Still we get the sense that it was not intended to be forever. When God speaks of a long term living situation He often uses the word dwell, or abide. We took a closer look at the word abide in February. You can see that post here.

“1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
2 It is like the precious oil upon the head,
Coming down upon the beard,
Even Aaron’s beard,
Coming down upon the edge of his robes.
3 It is like the dew of Hermon
Coming down upon the mountains of Zion;
For there the Lord commanded the blessing—life forever.”

— Psalm 133 (NASB 1995)

Psalm 133 has a tone I would associate with a long term living situation. God intended that we dwell together in unity in a place where we experience the blessing of life forever. In this psalm it is a reference to Zion, which we can also look at as eternity with God. With the state many of our current churches are in it can be hard to imagine being able to dwell with those same brothers or sisters together forever in unity. Ha, ha. However, God said it will be true. We won’t just be tarrying, but putting down roots and dwelling.

Image by Filip Loczek from Pixabay

Since we already looked at the idea of abide, I wanted to spend some time thinking about what it means to tarry with God. I have learned, it is essential that we tarry with God as much as we can, especially when our lives are pulling us in so many directions. You might feel on any given day, “I don’t have time to abide. I am too busy.” However, if we don’t find the time, God will give us the time, and that is not always preferable as it usually comes with some sort of difficulty. God is not mean hearted, He loves you purely with everlasting love, and He knows exactly what you need, and that is directly linked to the time you spend with Him.

Let me give you a personal example. I was really struggling for several weeks this past month. I was exhausted, discouraged and my heart felt so heavy. Grief was a blanket I was regularly wrapping up in. Grief over my mom being in a nursing home and not being able to be there to help with her care. Grief over my children who have walked away from the truth of the scripture and the love of Jesus. Grief over the state of our country and the fear of the looming downward spiral. Grief over relationships. Grief over loved ones with cancer and other illnesses. Grief over other people’s kids who were struggling with addictions and various other issues. Grief over my own health. The list goes on.

Image by Tern70 from Pixabay

I am learning the importance of acknowledging these feelings and allowing myself to feel them. They are real, after all, and are felt on the deepest levels. However, we all know we can’t live in those dark places. We always need to return to the light, otherwise the darkness will become an all too comfortable place to abide and dwell.

I felt God pulling me. Whispering to me, “Amy, come to Me. Spend time with Me. Only I can meet every need and help you bear every burden.” I know this to be true, but as you know our flesh wars against us every chance it gets. Finally, one sunny afternoon, I took my Bible and my prayer journal out on the patio and began a search through the scriptures. I was looking for Psalm 34:18

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

— Psalm 34:18 (NASB 1995)

I knew it was in the psalms, but I couldn’t remember where, so I just started leafing through. God brought me two different passages.

“8 Depart from me, all you who do iniquity,
For the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping.
9 The Lord has heard my supplication,
The Lord receives my prayer.”

— Psalm 6:8-9 (NASB 1995)

Image by wal_172619 from Pixabay

“1 “I love You, O Lord, my strength.”
2 The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
3 I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
And I am saved from my enemies.”

— Psalm 18:1-3 (NASB 1995)

Image by Enrique from Pixabay

When we tarry with God we can find peace and joy, even in the midst of our grief and pain. When we tarry we spend time, even just a small amount of time, doing the following:

1 - Remembering God’s character - He hears our weeping, our supplication and He receives our prayers. Don’t you love that? God isn’t ashamed of our emotions. He wants us to come and ask. He is our Abba, Father and He loves us. He wants to hear our prayers. He doesn’t just hear them, He receives them. He takes them on as His own. Remember The Bee Keeper? If you don’t, buzz on over to that post for a refresher.

2 - Acknowledging His abilities - He is our strength. He is our rock, our fortress, and our deliverer. He is our shield. He is our salvation. He is our stronghold. He is our refuge. All of these things are His abilities, and He gives them to us without reserve. He can protect, give strength, and get us through anything that comes our way.

“7 Then the earth shook and quaked;
And the foundations of the mountains were trembling
And were shaken, because He was angry.
8 Smoke went up out of His nostrils,
And fire from His mouth devoured;
Coals were kindled by it.
9 He bowed the heavens also, and came down
With thick darkness under His feet.
10 He rode upon a cherub and flew;
And He sped upon the wings of the wind.
11 He made darkness His hiding place, His canopy around Him,
Darkness of waters, thick clouds of the skies.
12 From the brightness before Him passed His thick clouds,
Hailstones and coals of fire.
13 The Lord also thundered in the heavens,
And the Most High uttered His voice,
Hailstones and coals of fire.
14 He sent out His arrows, and scattered them,
And lightning flashes in abundance, and routed them.
15 Then the channels of water appeared,
And the foundations of the world were laid bare
At Your rebuke, O Lord,
At the blast of the breath of Your nostrils.”

— Psalm 18:7-15 (NASB 1995)

Image by Jean Louis Tosque from Pixabay

3 - Renewing our understanding of Him - I have read Psalm 18 numerous times, but the Scripture, being that it is living and active, spoke to me anew. The above verses floored me. He is not just a gentle and loving God; He is a powerful, mighty force able to move mountains with a thought. He has, can and will display holy anger when the time is right for His wrath and will to be accomplished. It sets my heart to quaking, but also fills me with hope. He will have the final word, and all that is dark, and ugly, and painful will be burned away in His purest, most holy light.

“16 He sent from on high, He took me;
He drew me out of many waters.
17 He delivered me from my strong enemy,
And from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me.
18 They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
But the Lord was my stay.
19 He brought me forth also into a broad place;
He rescued me, because He delighted in me.”

— Psalm 18:16-19 (NASB 1995)

Image by Dimitris Vetsikas from Pixabay

“49 Therefore I will give thanks to You among the nations, O Lord,
And I will sing praises to Your name.”

— Psalm 18:49 (NASB 1995)

4 - Thanking Him for all He has done - If you can only tarry for a few minutes, I think this is the best bench to sit on. Gratitude is known to change hearts, minds, health, and perspective. When we sit for a few minutes on God’s goodness and provision to us it gives us the ability to keep going because we come away with hope. With God there is always hope.

Take it from me, if you are struggling with grief, pain, bitterness or other unresolved feelings and situations it certainly is helpful to talk it out with a trusted friend or counselor, but also don’t forget to tarry for a little while with Jesus. He makes all the difference.

Book Review - The Garden Within by Dr. Anita Phillips

I was given the opportunity by Frontgate Media to review another book. In exchange for the review I am provided with a free copy of the book. I like to be choosy about which things I review and recommend to you, the readers and subscribers of my blog. I try to choose things that speak to where we are as women, and more specifically, women of faith.

The Garden Within by Dr. Anita Phillips is another book I found compelling and useful. Dr. Phillips is a minister, therapist, and life coach.

“Widely recognized as a thought leader at the intersection of mental health, faith and culture, Dr. Anita holds degrees from the University of Maryland and Regent University and completed a postdoctoral fellowship at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health.”

— The Garden Within - Book Jacket

In this book Dr. Phillips discusses why embracing our emotions is key to living a truly powerful life. She combines ideas from neurobiology, faith and her own research in showing how strengthening our emotional well being will also help to strengthen our physical bodies, renew our minds and reawaken our spiritual joy.

She believes God created us with the heart as the center of the human experience, rather than the mind. She also believes Jesus, who was completely in touch with His emotions, understood this to be true, and offers examples from the scripture from weeping in front of Lazarus’ tomb (John 11:35), to anger in the temple over the money changers (Matt. 21:12), to wrestling in the garden with the anguish of what awaited him on the cross (Luke 22:42).

“You don’t need to overthrow your emotions to experience a revolution in your life. You just need to overthrow the lies you have believed about your emotions. The Creator designed your heart to be a garden, not a war zone. A truly powerful life isn’t won. It’s cultivated.”

— The Garden Within - p. xxv

The Garden Within is divided into three sections: Part 1 - Soil Power, Part 2 - Deeply Rooted, and Part 3 - The Embodied Garden. Each of these sections takes a look at our emotional tapestry through the analogy of a garden.

When Anita was a child in 5th grade science class she was fascinated by her teacher’s assignment of growing a pea plant in wet paper towels rather than dirt. Her teacher wanted the students to understand how much growth went on before the plant was ever above the soil. Her fascination with plants continued all throughout her education, but when she was a mother of two, a licensed therapist and working on her PhD she found herself again in a science class.

At the same time Anita was delving into a study of the book of Romans. Only a few verses into the first chapter she was stunned by Romans 1:20.

“20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse,”

— Romans 1:20 (NKJV)

The next day her assigned reading was an introduction to neurons. Upon, seeing a picture of a neuron she was flabbergasted to see it looked almost exactly like her pea plant. God had made both the pea plant and the neuron. Anita realized there were to many passages in scripture that had to do with plants, trees and gardens. These passages were used to teach spiritual lessons and guidelines for living. She felt God was revealing to her a deep connection between the world as He created it and the world He created inside of us in the form of our emotions, thoughts and actions.

Illustration from The Garden Within - p. 7

Dr. Phillips found herself searching for answers to a number of questions and this is what she discovered:

1 - How does Scripture define well-being? As a garden. (Isaiah 58:11)

2 - What is mean to grow in the garden? Relationships, purpose and legacy - things that give our life meaning.

3 - Where is the garden planted? In the soil of our hearts.

4 - What makes that soil fertile? Faith, hope and love.

5 - What is emotional well-being? Our capacity - and willingness - to be aware of, acknowledge, and experience all our emotions.

6 - What happens when we cultivate emotional well-being? We unleash, sustain and nourish the full power of the word-seeds that we choose to plant in our garden within.

7 - Is this what it means to live a powerful life? Yes.

(Points taken from The Garden Within - pp. 43-44)

Anita uses the events of Creation, and the Parable of the Sower and the Seed to further expand on these points and show us how to begin cultivating our own garden within by first determining what we want to grow in the three zones of relationships, purpose and legacy. We then prepare our soil, or our hearts by pulling weeds and cleaning and checking the soil by being aware of how we are doing emotionally. Next we set up a watering system. Just as gardens have to be intentionally watered, so too our emotional well being needs to be taken care of. Finally, we determine to plant good seeds.

“Our spiritual well being hinges on the quality of the word-seeds sown because they determine what we believe is true about God and ourselves. Each seed is a potential blessing or potential curse.””

— The Garden Within - p. 71

Anita points out that these word-seeds come to us from all directions including things we tell ourselves. What we choose to plant, or listen to, will determine what grows in the garden of our hearts.

There is a lot of information in this book and I personally feel it will require several readings to fully grasp all the concepts and wisdom within its pages. However, Dr. Phillips does address a number of prominent emotions: sadness (including loneliness and grief), anger, and fear. She gives examples and outlines a therapeutic processes for each emotion to help dig in and cultivate the soil in our hearts.

I would recommend this book for anyone who has gone through emotional trauma, or who has just been part of the “don’t express it, or talk about it” culture. I am going to be reading through this again and taking notes to glean even more. If yo would like to buy your own copy of The Garden Within by Dr. Anita Phillips, just click on the link.

His Design in Our Desires

I was recently going through a struggle brought on, in part by two problems, the long dreary wearies of winter with no sunshine, and a post New Year bout with Covid. Seasonal Affective Disorder always leaves me feeling more blue during the short gray days and longer dark nights of this season. I really need to invest in a light to help with that. Getting sick on top of SAD and it being after the holidays left me in a pretty low place. Being in a low place usually makes me more susceptible to the enemy’s tactics of blame and self pity.

Image by Mimzy from Pixabay

It came to my attention that a friend of mine was in a similar place, but for her the struggle was from a difficult marriage. She had texted me asking for the name of the counselor I was going to. I could tell by the tone of her text that she was not in a good place. We ended up having a video chat that ended with us both in prayer for one another. The interesting thing about our struggles, was that even though they stemmed from different sources we were still looking for the same things: love, affirmation, and companionship.

Over the next 24 hours, both my friend and I were on our own journeys seeking the Lord, knowing that we wanted to be spiritually right, but also not quite sure what to do with these desires that we had. Were these desires wrong? Were we just supposed to not think about them? Were we supposed to sacrifice them on the altar of, “Well, that’s just what Christians are supposed to do without?”

The Lord in His kindness took me to a passage in Isaiah, which I felt not only applied to myself, but applied to my friend, so I texted her a few of those verses. (My friend was also being led by the Lord to a different passage in the Psalms, which she also shared with me.)

Image by Monika from Pixabay

“10 They will not hunger or thirst,
Nor will the scorching heat or sun strike them down;
For He who has compassion on them will lead them
And will guide them to springs of water.
11 “I will make all My mountains a road,
And My highways will be raised up....

13 ...Shout for joy, O heavens! And rejoice, O earth!
Break forth into joyful shouting, O mountains!
For the Lord has comforted His people
And will have compassion on His afflicted.”

— Isaiah 49:10-11,13 (NASB 1995)

The Lord was telling us that our desires were not only real, but good. The desire for food and water is not a wrong desire. In fact, just like food and water is a desire that must be met, our desire for love, companionship and affirmation are just as necessary.

My husband and I like to watch survival shows like Dual Survivor, Dude Your Screwed, and most recently Alone. The thing I have found fascinating is that not everyone leaves due to starvation or injury. In fact, often times it is the aloneness of their situation that finally drives them to pushing the button to tap out. We are made to be in relationship, and in community.

Image by Joe from Pixabay

Over my years as a church going Christian I have seen problems arise when we forget that the church is the body of Christ, and we are meant to look out and care for each other. That means taking the time to listen, to pray, and to help. We also have to be willing to be vulnerable. When a person is struggling whether in a hard marriage, a tenuous work environment, or a changing family dynamic the enemy will always take advantage, and He will always blame.

“Well if he only would….”

“Well, if I don’t get that promotion then I’m out…”

“If she would just listen when I tell her something…”

We suddenly become all about our rights and desires. Is that what God called us to? Or did He call us to trust in Him?

The above verses tell us we will not hunger or thirst. We will not be struck down by the sun by day nor the moon by night (Psalm 121:6). This isn’t just a reference to physical hunger, thirst and discomfort. It applies to every aspect of our being. God cares for every desire and care we have.

We are created in His image. We are able to reason, love, care, act justly, and have compassion. God doesn’t just say He’s going to meet our needs, He does meet our needs and our desires, every single one. When we look back at Isaiah 49:10 it says God has compassion on His people and He will guide them to springs of water.

As we continue to read the passage we hear the Lord say, “I will make all my mountains a road, and my highways will be raised up…” That tells me that God is going to provide a way for those desires to be met. The thing we need to understand is that we are limited where God is not. We see things in a physical dimension, but He works in both the physical and the spiritual.

Image by Lisa Caroselli from Pixabay

“4 Delight yourself in the Lord;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.”

— Psalm 37:4 (NASB 1995)

Could anything be more simple or sure than the meaning of this verse? If we delight in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our hearts. Every desire we have for love, companionship and affirmation will be lavishly and fully met by our Lord and Savior.

Don’t think this is going to be easy. Verse 13 shows us that we are going to have affliction. There may be seasons where we don’t feel the love. There might be weeks where the blame game seems to work better at every bend and turn. However, what does it say about God? He comforts His people and has compassion on the afflicted. He’s got you. He’s got your desires, every, single one. Our job is to:

Be still and know He is God - Psalm 46:10

Remember we are not condemned - Romans 8:1

Give it all to Him, because He cares for us - 1 Peter 5:7

As we journey into this new year, I hope you will recognize every opportunity to know Him more deeply and that every desire you have will be filled in Him.

A Series of (Un)Fortunate Events - Part 2: The Necessity of Misfortune

Last week I introduced you to A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series by Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler) that has also been made into a movie with Jim Carey, and a Netflix series with Neil Patrick Harris. The series follows three orphans, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire, who are trying to find out why their parents died in a fire, while at the same time trying to find a guardian who will love and care for them. The inheritance of their future fortune marks them easy prey for villains wanting their money, specifically Count Olaf.

I made the comparison that often we are like the orphaned Baudelaire’s experiencing one tragedy after another. Misfortune is, as the word’s meaning defines, unfortunate. The word fortunate is defined as - “bringing some good thing, not foreseen as certain; receiving some unexpected good.” Misfortune is defined simply as, “an unhappy situation.” When we call someone unfortunate we are saying they are “marked or accompanied by misfortune.” (Definitions from Webster’s Online Dictionary.)

All of us experience misfortune, but we don’t necessarily see everyone as unfortunate, where every day seems to be a struggle and hope is as elusive as an early morning mist. In fact, when a tragedy happens we will often say, “You were very fortunate. It could have been so much worse.” While this is true, it isn’t always the best thing to say.

If you have been following me for a while, you have probably heard me say that struggles and difficulty are not always all bad. We’ve all heard stories or watched a Hallmark movie, where something beautiful has come out of a terrible situation. In my own life I have seen the hand of God extend mercy in situations where the outcome of people’s choices could have been total tragedy.

Last week I discussed the necessity of Jesus’ departure from earth, so the Holy Spirit could come. Without the Helper’s constant guidance and revelation of God’s word we would be lost. Thus the need to recognize, not all tragedies and difficulties are truly unfortunate. With the Holy Spirit’s help we can recognize four key things about our difficulties.

1 - Allowed by God.

Image by José Manuel de Laá from Pixabay

If you believe what the Bible says about God’s characteristics then you must acknowledge His sovereignty. If God is sovereign, all things that come into our lives are sifted through His fingers. We have the book of Job as one for instance of God allowing great difficulty into one man’s life. But, even after all the tragedy, Job knew God was good and sovereign.

“He said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked I shall return there.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.””

— Job 1:22 (NASB 1995)

“9 Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!”
10 But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.”

— Job 2:9-10 (NASB 1995)

I can still remember a sermon I heard a few years ago when we were going through an especially hard time. The preacher made two points:

1 - God is sovereign and God loves you.

2 - When you are going through something hard refer back to point number 1.

It sounds pretty simple, but in reality it is. Our Almighty God is not trying to trick us, or manipulate us. He is completely straight forward. His holiness is pure. His goodness is everlasting. His mercies are new every morning. Most importantly, He loves us. Plain and simple.

2 - For our benefit.

Image by Melk Hagelslag from Pixabay

Most of us want things that are beneficial for us whether healthy food and exercise, a place to get away and rest, peace of mind and loving, nurturing relationships. God wants things that are beneficial for us as well. The difference is that as the author of all creation He has a far better grasp of what we truly need.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

— Romans 8:28 (NASB 1995)

Notice in the verse it says that God causes ALL things to work together for good. It isn’t only the happy, joyful, peaceful things that work for our good, it includes the mind numbing, tragic and ugly parts of life. How can this be the case? Because it is God who is doing the working for the good. We are hardly capable of getting ourselves out of bed in the morning, how is it we are going to know the deep needs of our own selves? We think we do…happiness, peace, no longing, no fear, no confrontation…but we are unwilling to go to the One who knows us inside out.

3 - Meant for God reliance.

A trapeze artist knows the importance of being in excellent shape physically, and mentally. They know their muscles must be strong and their minds must not be distracted by the difficulties of life. In addition, they are completely reliant on their equipment. A broken wire, or rusty chain must be repaired or replaced. How do they know these things? By being taught by others who went before.

When we encounter unfortunate events it is the perfect opportunity to check our relationship with God. Are we maintaining our connection with Him. Are we keeping short accounts on our sin? Are we spending time in His word? Are we searching for scripture and advice on how to get through our difficulties by His strength and with His grace?

I don’t care what the commercials are telling you…be all you can be. I don’t care what the social media influencers are preaching…you are strong, you got this, you are woman hear you roar…most messages that come from a source outside of God Himself, while encouraging are not going to keep you sane when the bottom falls out of your world.

“5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
8 It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones.”

— Proverbs 3:5-8 (NASB 1995)

“6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,
7 casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.”

— 1 Peter 5:6-7 (NASB 1995)

“63 It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing; the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and are life.”

— John 6:63 (NASB 1995)

“8 It is better to take refuge in the Lord
Than to trust in man.”

— Psalm 118:8 (NASB 1995)

“10 ‘Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’”

— Isaiah 41:10 (NASB 1995)

We are meant to be God dependent, not independent.

4 - Renewal: God’s best outcome.

Image by AC works Co., Ltd. from Pixabay

Coming through a series of unfortunate events is the perfect time for God to build something new in you. As you practice abiding in Him and relying on Him He will begin to weed that garden that He is cultivating in you. It may be that the misfortunes are actually His way of pulling the weeds of pride, self-centeredness and bitterness from your soul. Let Him be about His work for this will have the best outcome. You will come through your difficulties with a deeper, new found faith and knowledge, not only of who you are, but more importantly of who God is.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

— Romans 12:2 (NASB 1995)

“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.”

— 2 Corinthians 4:16 (NASB 1995)

“He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit,”

— Titus 3:5 (NASB 1995)

I want to encourage you to remember, you are not alone in your difficulty. There is a loving, omnipotent God working through your series of (un)fortunate events.

Rejoice Always: A Case Study - Part 4

Today I am going to finish up this particular case study of Hannah in the Old Testament. Hannah, who was Samuel’s mother, was a woman a great strength, deep desire and phenomenal trust in her God. A portion of the scripture we are going to look at is Hannah’s song of thanksgiving. This is what we are going to focus on and I want to do it just a few verses at a time, so we can slowly savor the thoughts and ideas.

Pixabay

“Then Hannah prayed and said,

“My heart exults in the Lord;
My horn is exalted in the Lord,
My mouth speaks boldly against my enemies,
Because I rejoice in Your salvation.”

— I Samuel 2:1 (NASB)

Keep in mind, Hannah is singing this song of thanksgiving after she has given her only son, Samuel, to Eli the priest to serve in the House of the Lord.

Hannah exults in the Lord. The word horn as it is used in this passage refers to strength, so Hannah is saying her strength is exalted in the Lord. The word exalt is a verb that means to lift high, to elevate by praise, to raise in rank or to enhance the activity of. In other words we could say, “My heart lifts high because of the Lord.” “My strength is elevated in the Lord.”

I do not know if Hannah was thinking of Penninah, her husband’s other wife, when she sang these words, or if she was thinking of her status as an Israelite, but either way she speaks boldly, because she rejoices in God’s salvation.

“There is no one holy like the Lord,
Indeed, there is no one besides You,
Nor is there any rock like our God.”

— 1 Samuel 2:2 (NASB)

PIxabay

Hannah states the truth she knows. As an Israelite she has been taught the scriptures, the laws and the commands. Her husband was a committed Jew, making sure he and his family got to the House of the Lord. But now, Hannah also has personal experience. She took her heart’s desire to have a child to God, and He remembered her and provided.

“Do not go on boasting so very proudly,
Do not let arrogance come out of your mouth;
For the Lord is a God of knowledge,
And with Him actions are weighed”

— 1 Samuel 2:3 (NASB)

Pixabay

I have a feeling Hannah was a pretty observant woman. She knew her scriptures, which probably also meant she knew the history of her people. This verse could have been a reference to Penninah, but for some reason I think Hannah was above that. I think this had more to do with the enemies of Israel.

The following verses are both declarative and somewhat prophetic for the state of Israel and the future of the nation as well.

“4 The bows of the mighty are broken to pieces,
But those who have stumbled strap on strength.
5 Those who were full hire themselves out for bread,
But those who were hungry cease to be hungry.
Even the infertile woman gives birth to seven,
But she who has many children languishes.
6 The Lord puts to death and makes alive;
He brings down to Sheol and brings up.
7 The Lord makes poor and rich;
He humbles, He also exalts.
8 He raises the poor from the dust,
He lifts the needy from the garbage heap
To seat them with nobles,
And He gives them a seat of honor as an inheritance;
For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s,
And He set the world on them.
9 He watches over the feet of His godly ones,
But the wicked ones are silenced in darkness;
For not by might shall a person prevail.
10 Those who contend with the Lord will be terrified;
Against them He will thunder in the heavens,
The Lord will judge the ends of the earth;
And He will give strength to His king,
And will exalt the horn of His anointed.””

— 1 Samuel 2:4-10 (NASB)

This ends Hannah’s song, but it certainly does not signify the end of her adventure with God. If we read further in this chapter we see God’s continued blessing on her.

“18 Now Samuel was ministering before the Lord, as a boy wearing a linen ephod.
19 And his mother would make for him a little robe and bring it up to him from year to year when she would come up with her husband to offer the yearly sacrifice.
20 Then Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife, and say, “May the Lord give you children from this woman in place of the one she requested of the Lord.” And they went to their own home.

21 The Lord indeed visited Hannah, and she conceived and gave birth to three sons and two daughters. And the boy Samuel grew up before the Lord.”

— 1 Samuel 2:18-21 (NASB)

Pixabay

Hannah did not forget Samuel. She lovingly made him a robe and every year when they would go up to offer their yearly sacrifice they would bring the robe and she would give it to him. She kept her promise to the Lord and He gave her more children.

What can we learn from our study of Hannah on the word rejoice?

Our joy is not dependent on our circumstances.

Pixabay

We all like to think that if we only had this or that, or if our circumstances changed then we would have joy. Joy, unlike happiness is eternal. It is a state of being that comes from God and is not dependent on what is going on in our lives.

Remember the definition of rejoice: to give joy to; to feel great joy or delight. We learned from the book of Deuteronomy in the Old Testament that rejoice was a command given by God to the people of Israel and it always coincided with a feast or celebration of remembrance of God’s faithfulness and provision.

Our ability to rejoice is a choice to remember how God has provided and been faithful throughout our lives. Even in our current difficult circumstances.

Our joy is directly linked to our choice to focus on God.

Pixabay

I know this can be hard, but this is what makes the difference between living large and languishing. When I choose to remember God’s faithfulness, I take my eyes off my current difficulties and place them on Him. Even if life has been difficult for a while, I can still focus on His character and His promises. He is good. He is faithful. He is just. He is holy. He is pure. He is righteous.

Back in Chapter 1 we saw when Hannah prayed she lifted up the name of God. She exalted Him. She said, “Lord of armies.” It was a simple statement, but think about all that it encompasses. The word Lord, would signify power and authority. Lord of armies, shows that He is in charge of all those who can bring about justice and peace. That three word statement was one of worship and direct focus on the powerful and amazing God.

Focusing on God and who He is and His great faithfulness will make rejoicing as important as drinking water. It is essential for life.

Like C.S. Lewis, we might be Surprised By Joy.

Pixabay

Hannah found joy even after she gave up her son. She gave him to God before he was even conceived. She had no regrets. She did not waver in her promise. When the boy was old enough, she took him to the House of the Lord and left him there. Yet, she had joy.

In the middle of our adversity, in the crushing weight of our darkness, we will be surprised by joy, because it is God who gives us the ability to rejoice. Just like hope, patience, goodness, kindness and all the other fruit we can bear, it comes from Him.

Rejoice always!

When Darkness Comes - Part 9: The Transformative Power of Thanksgiving

We all have heard the old saying that we are to have an attitude of gratitude. Most of us are aware of the difference a mindset of thankfulness can have on our thoughts, emotions and actions.

Image by Here and now, unfortunately, ends my journey on Pixabay from Pixabay

“Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.”

— Seneca

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings”

— William Arthur Ward

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.”

— Aesop

God’s Word is clear on the importance of giving thanks.

“in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.”

— I Thessalonians 5:18 (NASB)

Just as the Bible commands us to, “Rejoice always” (1 Thessalonians 5:16), and “pray without ceasing” (I Thessalonians 5:17), we are also commanded to give thanks at all times in everything. That means we are to give thanks when the darkness is upon us. We are to give thanks for it, in it and after it has left us. Why is it so important that we thank God when we are in the darkness? Let’s look at a few different reasons.

1 - It places us under His authority.

Image by David Mark from Pixabay

The act of remembering who we are and who God is enables us to have perspective. Being thankful places us in our correct standing before Him. Pride, which places us above God, saying we can get through this ourselves and we don’t need anyone’s help, especially His, makes us the authority and not God.

“Every person is to be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.”

— Romans 13:1 (NASB)

Knowing there is authority and actually placing ourselves under it are two different things. When we give thanks we recognize God as the one true authority.

2 - It places us under His protection.

“1 One who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
Will lodge in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
My God, in whom I trust!”
3 For it is He who rescues you from the net of the trapper
And from the deadly plague.
4 He will cover you with His pinions,
And under His wings you may take refuge;
His faithfulness is a shield and wall.

5 You will not be afraid of the terror by night,
Or of the arrow that flies by day;
6 Of the plague that [a]stalks in darkness,
Or of the destruction that devastates at noon.
7 A thousand may fall at your side
And ten thousand at your right hand,
But it shall not approach you.
8 You will only look on with your eyes
And see the retaliation against the wicked.
9 For you have made the Lord, my refuge,
The Most High, your dwelling place.
10 No evil will happen to you,
Nor will any plague come near your tent.

11 For He will give His angels orders concerning you,
To protect you in all your ways.
12 On their hands they will lift you up,
So that you do not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will walk upon the lion and cobra,
You will trample the young lion and the [d]serpent.

14 “Because he has loved Me, I will save him;
I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.
15 He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
16 I will satisfy him with a long life,
And show him My salvation.””

— Psalm 91

Why does giving thanks place us under His protection? The choice to be thankful requires a shift in our mindset. We know our Unseen Enemy loves to play mind games. If we are teetering on the edge of anger, bitterness, malice, wrath and other bad emotions, we are going to be more susceptible to making choices that are not for our benefit. Dark emotions are part of our sin nature, and very normal, but God does not want us to stay in those murky places. Staying there will result in our undoing.

3 - It lets in the light.

Giving thanks is like turning on a flashlight or lighting a candle when you are in a very dark room. When darkness is present in our lives and we are grieving, depressed, struggling, or lost, the choice to thank God allows Him to open the tiniest window into our shadowed world. You might not see the light right away. Often we become accustomed to the darkness and we might even forget what it was like to walk in the light, but light will always pierce the darkness.

When I was going through the dark time I have been sharing with you, I spent three days praying and journaling, most of which I have been sharing with you through these posts. On the last day, the last thing I did was lay before God the reasons I felt the way I did. There is a difference between acknowledging the emotion and knowing why we feel what we are feeling.

“Lord, perhaps what would help my sagging spirits is to confess to you all that is making me sad. I am sad...”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

I went on to tell Jesus, exactly what I was grieving over: my marriage, my family, relationships, being alone, my imperfections…the list went on. I ended that section with this.

Image by Christine Engelhardt from Pixabay

“So, I bring it all to You. The desires, the sadness, the disappointment. I bring it to You, and I choose to wait on You. I don’t know what to look for - a miracle? A rescue? A ta da moment? Whatever it is I trust You to bring it about. In the mean time I lean into Your strength and Your courage.””

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

However, I did not stop there.

“Now I need to give thanks.

I thank You, that the darkness and the light are the same to You.

Thank You, that as You hovered over the darkness of the deep at the beginning of Creation - You are here in my darkness - hovering over, beneath, beside and through.

Thank You, that while I do not have a friend right now to talk to or hang out with, I do have You.

Thank You, that You have shown Yourself to me since I was very young.

Thank You, that no matter what others say, You call me beloved!

Thank You, that I am not condemned, because I am in Christ Jesus.

Thank You, that as I choose to wait on You, You give me strength and courage. ”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

There was more on that list, and when I finished thanking God, I felt Him say to me, “You done good, now rest.”

Did I feel better? Not really, but I felt as though I had wrestled and wrangled. I wouldn’t realize the sword of the Almighty had pierced me until the next day. I’ll share that next week.

Until then, be thankful. God truly uses all things for our good.

When Darkness Comes - Part 7: Revealing our True Hearts

I have been doing a series on the darkness as it pertains to times of struggle in our lives. The last two posts revolved around truth; the truth we know about God and the truth we know about ourselves as seen in the Word of God. We cannot, however, have truth and not acknowledge the feelings and emotions that God created us with. As we saw last time, we often put on False Faces, so that we can cope and pretend the truth has penetrated our hearts, but in reality it hasn’t. I have been sharing my own experience with you, because through my own walk in the dark, I have learned that truth must be wrestled with before it can become a part of our inner being.

Image by Herbert Aust from Pixabay

God knows our delicate frame and also knows He gave us a mind that can think, reason and question. However, we must remember our minds were meant to be in communion with Him. The longer we let our minds dwell on what is false, hopeless and destructive, the less we will be able to recognize His truth. When we are walking in the darkness, there is no doubt, the Unseen Enemy will try to manipulate that shadowed path to his advantage. That is precisely why it is so important to stand on the God’s truth, but not just stand, we have to wrestle with it and allow Him to pierce our souls with it.

He has done that with me. Even as I type this, tears come to my eyes, because I realize, as an Almighty being, He owes me nothing. He has no reason to gift me His time or attention. He does so, because He chooses to. The incredible, lavish fact is, He chooses to do this, even when I am at my lowest, ranting about how unfair life is or how hard things are, or questioning impatiently when will this darkness end.

In order to get to this point of allowing God to pierce us, we must acknowledge our feelings, as ugly as they can be. Feelings are often tied to experiences, both good and bad. In my heart I have a room. Inside, there are shelves full of experiences, mostly those with other people. Most of these are bad experiences. When I feel bad, I unlock that room and I go inside, closing the door behind me. It isn’t a comfortable room, filled with fairy lights and comfy, overstuffed furniture. It’s more like an old attic, full of cobwebs, dark corners and lots of junk. I find a place on the hard floor and I start reviewing all that junk…all those times I yelled at my kids; all the angry words between my husband and I; all those feelings of never measuring up…of not being enough…of being invisible.

Image by József Kincse from Pixabay

Most of us have something like my attic room, where we revisit things that happened or didn’t happen. These are part of emotional make up of who we are and God is patient with us. He allows us those moments, but He doesn’t want us to stay there. Eventually, it would be nice if I could hand that key over to Him and walk away. I haven’t done that yet, but I am getting closer.

I am going to share an except from my journal, when I was revealing my true heart to God. I share these things, not to make you feel sorry for me or to make you think how hard I have had it, but I hope by being vulnerable with you, you will choose to be vulnerable with God.

“I guess what it comes down to, Lord, is I am sad that I am invisible. I know there are lots of people struggling with far worse things than feeling invisible. There are wives whose husbands are unfaithful; there are children whose caretakers are abusive; there are elderly men and women fading like an old photograph with no one to visit or care about their needs, or desires. There are people who have felt the pain of divorce, the death of a child or spouse...and here I am feeling sad...that I feel invisible.

But I would not be a healthy person if I did not acknowledge I am sad, and it hurts. It hurts to be forgotten; to have a face that is unmemorable; to have no voice except one that is deemed naggy, bitchy or emotional. I am only acknowledged when I mess up. I am only texted or called when someone wants something...””

— Amy's journal from 5/23/21

Image by Vojtěch Kučera from Pixabay

There are several things I want you to notice. I am acknowledging my feelings. I am unloading. I have remembered God’s truth about Himself and about me, and now I am letting Him know how I feel. My intellect knows what is true…I am not invisible. I have a family who does love me. I have friends…but the acknowledgement of feelings is so important in healing and in allowing God to bring His word into the deep places of our hearts. I go on to make this very point in my journal.

“Lord, I am venting. I know what Your word says. I am not invisible. Your word says You knew me before I was born. You know my thoughts from afar. There is no place I can go to get away from You. I am not invisible to You. (Psalm 139)”

— Amy's journal from 5/23/21

The other thing I want you to notice is that I recognize I am not alone in suffering. There are many who are suffering; many who have it far worse than I do, but that does not diminish my feelings or my need to lay those feelings at His feet. This is a process.

The next step follows: I recognize that some of my struggle is a result of sin, and the work of the Unseen Enemy.

“Lord, I ask Your forgiveness that I struggle with these feelings over and over. I should be mature enough to be so over it, but right now I am not. I am weak.

I ask for Your protection. I know my enemy would like to devour me, my family, but he cannot. Renew my mind, because I cannot. I choose to lean in to You; in to your comfort, mercy and grace; into Your sufferings. I embrace it all and I call on Your name...the name of Jesus, knowing He is the Great Warrior Prince and He will rescue me.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

Finally, I acknowledge the power and supremacy of the Almighty One.

“Thank you for You hem me in behind and before; that You are my rear guard; that You hold my hand and walk with me through every single valley. You are the Wonderful Counselor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace. You alone are the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/31

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Don’ be afraid to let God peer into the deepest places of your heart. Allowing Him access to those attic rooms will eventually bring about true renewal and cleansing. Wrestle with God’s truth. Tell Him how you really feel as you maneuver the darkness of your path. Let Him pierce you deep and He will bring you to new understanding and heights of His love.

Next time we will look at another piece of this refining process as we continue our journey in the darkness. I hope you are able to join me. Thank you for all your support and I pray God will become more real to you today than He ever has before.

When Darkness Comes - Part 6: Remembering Who We are in the Darkness

Many times when we are walking in the darkness, especially if we are doing it for an extended time, we tend to forget who we are meant to be. We fall back into the pattern of listening to the manipulator’s voice, rather than the Creator’s voice. We focus in on our insecurities, rather than our place on His solid foundation. We begin to obsess over all that is wrong, rather than being thankful for all that is right. I know. I have been there.

Image by Darkmoon_Art from Pixabay

Being a low energy person, it is easy for me to get tired, not just physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. There is a reason, Jesus said to come to Him when we are weary and need rest. He wasn’t just talking about our physical weariness. In fact, I think He was referring more to the weariness we feel when we are walking in the darkness. What did he say in those verses?

“28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.””

— Matthew 11:28-30 (NASB)

I want to come back to these verses when I explore how to survive the darkness, but for today, I want you to notice verse 29. We are to take His yoke on ourselves, but not just that. We are to do it so that we can learn from Jesus. Why? Because He is gentle, humble and in Him we will find rest for our souls. We can see here, it is not just our physical bodies that can find rest in Him, although I believe we can find that as well. In Him we find rest for our souls.

Once again, I want to draw on my own experiences to help you understand how important it is to remember God’s eternal truth when you are going through dark times. If we forget who He says we are, then we open the door for Satan to influence us with his lies and manipulative whisperings. Let’s look at a few of the false faces we wear when we are maneuvering the dark places in life.

False Face - The Mime

Image by Rudi Maes from Pixabay

You all know this one. They don’t talk about their struggles. You might even identify with this one. Unfortunately, the Christian church has made the mime one of our most numerous congregants. We don’t talk about it. When life gets tough, we sink down into our character and keep silent. Are you struggling with mental illness? Don’t talk about it. Are you frustrated in your marriage? Don’t talk about it. Are you shell shocked after a great loss? Don’t talk about it. We are too busy, too tired, too wrapped up in our own selves to take the time to listen, even if we wanted you to talk. Then, like the mime, we occasionally act out. We blow up at inappropriate times. We cry for no reason. We are alone in our silent performance as the rest of the world wonders why we are acting so odd.

False Face - The Stoic

Image by Szilárd Szabó from Pixabay

Definition of a stoic:

“a member of a school of philosophy founded by Zeno of Citium about 300 b.c. holding that the wise man should be free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief, and submissive to natural law”

— Webster's Online Dictionary

A person who maneuvers the dark times with this philosophy will often exhibit no emotion at all. Their attitude might resemble that of a rock. While even those who identify with stoicism do have emotions, their desire is to not give in to extravagant or showy emotion, choosing rather, to maintain a steady, even keeled composure.

False Face - The Dancer

Image by Vladimir Yuminov from Pixabay

When difficulty comes, this person will often be flitting from one thing to another, like a bee buzzing from flower to flower. An individual who exhibits this behavior, is often afraid to slow down or sit still, knowing that when they do the full weight of their struggles will overwhelm them. They believe if they keep moving, they will not have to really deal with their pain and eventually it will become less difficult.

False Face - Pollyanna

Image by Christopher Ross from Pixabay

If you are not familiar with the term Pollyanna, it is defined as a person that is excessively positive or optimistic. Originally, Pollyanna was a novel written in 1913 by Eleanor H. Porter. It told the story of eleven year old orphan girl Pollyanna Whittier, who is sent to live with her stern, cold, spinster Aunt Polly. Pollyanna maneuvers life playing a game she learned from her father, called the Glad Game. The premise being that there is always something to be glad about, or an opportunity to always see the brighter side of any dark cloud.

While I do believe there is benefit in looking for the good in life and in finding things to be thankful for, it is equally important to not deceive ourselves into believing there is nothing wrong, when in fact we are still truly hurting and struggling.

I am sure if we looked deeper we could find more False Faces that we adopt and use when we are not willing to face the darkness we are going through. However, it is of great importance that we do recognize our struggles and difficulties.

What does God’s Word say about us? Let’s look at another page from my journal.

Image by CharuTyagi from Pixabay

I recognize my standing as a sinner.

“23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

— Romans 3:23 (NASB)

I called on Your name and You washed me whiter than snow.

“13 for “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.””

— Romans 10:13 (NASB)

““Come now, and let us debate your case,”
Says the Lord,
“Though your sins are as scarlet,
They shall become as white as snow;
Though they are red like crimson,
They shall be like wool.”

— Isaiah 1:18 (NASB)

I know, according to Your word, my name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life.

“27 and nothing unclean, and no one who practices abomination and lying, shall ever come into it, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life.”

— Revelation 21:27 (NASB)

I am sealed by His blood.

“30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.”

— Ephesians 4:30 (NASB)

“22 who also sealed us and gave us the Spirit in our hearts as a pledge.”

— 2 Corinthians 1:22 (NASB)

I know according to Your word, I am not condemned.

“Therefore there is now no condemnation at all for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

— Romans 8:1 (NASB)

I know when I am weary and burdened, I can come to You and You will give me rest.

“28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

— Matthew 11:28 (NASB)

I know that Your yoke is easy and Your burden light. I can come to You and learn from You because you are gentle and humble.

“29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.””

— Matthew 11:29-30

I know You are always with me.

“5 No one will be able to oppose you all the days of your life. Just as I have been with Moses, I will be with you; I will not desert you nor abandon you.”

— Joshua 1:5 (NASB)

“5 Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever abandon you,””

— Hebrews 13:5 (NASB)

I know You have given me, Your precious and magnificent promises.

“4 Through these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world on account of lust.”

— 2 Peter 1:4 (NASB)

I know that You work all things together for good.

“28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

— Romans 8:28 (NASB)

I know You love me.

“See how great a love the Father has given us, that we would be called children of God; and in fact we are. For this reason the world does not know us: because it did not know Him.”

— 1 John 3:1 (NASB)

In order for us to be able to walk in the darkness we must remember, not only who God is, but who we are. I hope you will find encouragement in these verses.

Next time I will delve into what our response should be when we are walking in the storms.

Have a good week.

Tended Dreams

This is a fiction piece by Amy D. Christensen

So many coffins! Why were there so many coffins?

Image by Lisa Yount from Pixabay

The One who stood beside me looked out over the vast area filled with every manner of death box imaginable. There were pine boxes, reminding me of the Old West, golden sarcophagi, dark cherry wood polished until it shimmered and many, many more. It would take days to count how many coffins filled the valley: literally a valley of dry bones. Here and there I could see beings of light, I assumed were angles, tending to the coffins.

“Who are they,” I asked looking up into his dark eyes.

They were brown, but seemed to be edged with golden light; a light that came from deep within His heart.

He smiled at me, though I could tell there was a deep sadness behind that smile. “Not who, but what?”

“I do not understand.”

Image by Jackson David from Pixabay

He took my hand, squeezing it firmly. It felt as though just a bit of strength tingled from his fingers into mine filling my whole body with warmth. It was as though someone had just draped a warm blanket over my shoulders.

“These coffins hold dreams.”

“Dreams?”

“Come. Let’s walk and I will show you.”

I was afraid. I had always been afraid to be around death. I never liked going to funerals and walking through grave yards was fine during the day when the sky was blue, but when the sun went down and the mists began to creep along the ground, no thank you! I planted my feet firmly.

He turned to look at me. “It will be alright. You are with me, and I would never let anything hurt you. Not any more.”

His eyes took in the depth of my soul. It was then I knew. He knew everything about me and yet, it was completely obvious how much He loved me.

“Come.” He smiled again and I let myself be pulled along.

We moved in among the elongated boxes and I couldn’t help but admire how intricately beautiful some of them were. Many were very simple and completely unadorned, while others had been carved and embellished with decorative swirls and etchings, some of which looked to be letters in various languages.

He stopped before a dark box whose wood was so polished and smooth I could see myself in it.

Image by composita from Pixabay

“This one belongs to a man who took great pride in his work. He built his own business from the ground up. When he met his wife, he knew he wanted to have a family. He wanted many children, hoping that a few of them would one day carry on the family business. His wife died in child birth. He never remarried and eventually sold the business.”

He moved me along to another box a little ways away. This one was much more ornate than the last one. It was covered in beautiful scroll work.

Image by JamesDeMers from Pixabay

“This one belongs to a woman who married young. She had dreams of becoming an archeologist, but her husband said her place was in the home with the children. She had a brood, and when there were no more children to be birthed, her husband left her for a younger woman.”

“How terrible!”

The next coffin he stopped before was smaller. Not the size of a child, but not a full adult either. It was white and decorated with pretty pink and yellow flowers.

Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay

“The girl whose dreams reside here was only 16 when a drunk driver took away her ability to walk. She wanted to be a dancer hoping that sad people would find joy in the movement of music and dance.”

He stretched out his hand and rubbed the top of the pretty box, as if remembering.

I felt my eyes sting with tears. He began to walk again and I pulled my hand from His.

“Why are you showing me these things?”

He did not speak. I could see tears in his own eyes. He held out his hand.

Once again, I placed mine in his and we walked for a while in silence.

The next box we stopped in front of was rather simple and unassuming. In fact as we had walked it occurred to me there were many coffins like this. They weren’t plain and simple like an Old West pine box, nor were they richly adorned. They were, in fact plain and unnoticeable.

“Why are there so many like these?”

He looked out over the valley, turning his head from one side to another. “These are the dreams of mothers for their children; wives for their marriages; grandmothers for their grandchildren. As is so often the case these go unnoticed. Mothers go about their lives, most often never asking for the help they need, the desires that go unmet and the thanks they so deserve. Unlike many, who have one major dream of what they want to do with their lives, mothers, wives and grandmothers often have the most dreams and, as you can tell by these coffins, so very many of them must be laid to rest.”

Image by Richard Mcall from Pixabay

“Well, if that’s the case, why aren’t their coffins more ornate and noticeable? Why are they so plain?”

“Because their desires were simple. They wanted their children to grow up without damage and problems. They wanted their husbands to talk to them. They wanted their families to get along…simple things really, yet so important. Unfortunately, very few take into account the dreams of a mother. They love her and are glad for her, but they rarely get to know the woman that she is underneath all that she does: the writer, the singer, the artist, the leader, the warrior. So very many dreams that had to die.”

“But why?” I was beginning to feel upset. “Why should they have to give up their dreams?”

“Because they knew what was really at stake. They knew that the most important part of life was relationship. They were willing to give up everything else, so that relationships with their children, husbands and grandchildren could continue. You see life is not about the dreams that come true, it is about the relationships that are built, or abandoned, along the way.”

He stepped away from the box. “Come. I have one last thing to show you.”

Again, he took my hand and once again I felt the mild tingle of His strength moving me forward and warming me.

The sight we came to next took my breath away. A sea of tiny, infant sized coffins, each adorned with a small, flickering candle, floated silently on a huge glassy lake. The light on each coffin produced a shimmering reflection in the surrounding water. It was all at once beautiful and horrifying.

Image by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay

He sensed my discomfort and putting his arm around my shoulders, pulled me close.

“Even a baby has dreams. In the world as you know it, when babies are born they do not have language, but the truth is, all that are conceived have the imprint of heavenly language. It is in this realm that they dream. They dream of small things, but still they are dreams. Smiles, green grass, blue skies, their mother’s face, their father’s laugh, the feeling of human touch, but alas, none of these dear ones ever got to realize their dreams.”

I gasped, as the sea of coffins seemed to go on forever. Tears slipped down my face.

He turned me towards him.

“You have dreams too. I showed you all these things because I want you to know that each and every dream you have is important to me. Each and every dream that you must give up, I will know about and I will tend to. That is how much I love you!”

* * * * * * *

Often, when I write a piece like this, I feel it is God giving me a way to express my own feelings and thoughts, but in the form of a story. An allegory tells a story in the form of imagery. I hope that the picture I painted above shows you, that Jesus loves you with an everlasting love and that every single dream you have achieved, and every single desire you have had to give up, He is aware of and He holds in the palm of His hand. I write, because I need to remember this, and maybe you do too.

You are deeply loved!

Pow! Biff! Sock! Crash! Holy Trouble Batman!

I am foregoing my Walking With the Psalmist post for this month in order to bring you another amazing and trouble filled episode of life! If you have been following my blog for a while now, then you know last May, my hubby and I attempted to take a vacation to Maine. We only got as far as Rochester, NY when I gave birth to a kidney stone. Ouch! Not knowing for sure if the kidney stone passed, I ended up spending a night in the hospital and we made our way home, feeling down and discouraged. 

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Fast forward to May of 2018. Here we are again, planning a vacation, this time to my husband's old stomping grounds in various spots around Wisconsin. We were going to camp, hike, and visit with friends and family. Last week, I spent the entire week taking care of my grandson, who came down with whatever the going virus was at the moment for a week long battle with fatigue, fever, runny nose and loss of appetite. Guess who got sick this past Friday? Yup! Me. 

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I did my usual regimen of echinacea tea, Zicam and other supplements to try to quicken the down time and speed up healing. No such luck! Today, I developed a fever, though I think I may have had one earlier. Today, I took my temp and it said, 99.5. Now, as you know that is not a high temp, but it is enough to make one feel pooky and even make my skin hurt. In addition to that I spent the night on the couch, coughing. I have always been a cougher. I had childhood asthma and I still think my bronchial tubes get especially irritated when I am sick. 

We were supposed to leave on vacation Thursday, but I am thinking maybe Friday or Saturday. Ugg! I'm sorry. I feel like I am complaining all the time and I don't mean to. I just feel that real life is happening all around and it is not always pretty or easy. Maybe when you read my stories of woe I will help you realize, you are not alone! We are all struggling through this journey together and I want you to know, I get the hard bits!

So when I started thinking about this post, I couldn't help but think of the old campy Batman and Robin show. Those of you who are my age will remember the silly fight scenes with the cartooned in words, "Pow!" "Biff!" and "Sock!" 

The reality is, my life is more like that colorful show of the the 1960's, than what some people are going through. We know more than one person who is battling cancer, several who already know they aren't going to make it. People struggle with such hurts, illness and pain, that I cannot even begin to imagine, but I understand. Sometimes life just sucks! For reals!

This morning, when I was standing in the shower, feeling like crud, I turned my eyes to Jesus. I went back to the basics. I confessed my discouragement and frustration, I praised His name, and then I thanked Him. I thanked Him that I had a comfy couch, a blanket and a pillow to spend the night on. I wasn't coughing and shivering in a box in some alley. I thanked Him for the hot water that felt comforting to my tired and achy body. I thanked Him that, although this morning I wasn't able to keep my shopping and lunch date with one of my daughters, I was able to lay on the couch and watch Netflix. 

“in everything give thanks. For this is God’s will for you”

— I Thessalonians 5:18 (NET)

I can't remind you (and me) of this verse enough! Even when we are getting struck down and beaten on all sides, it is God's will that we give thanks. I would make the distinction that it says, "in everything give thanks," not "give thanks for everything." I have heard people say you should thank God, even for the bad stuff, but I think it is more the case that when we are going through the bad stuff we continue to give thanks. That, my dear sisters, is what will keep us standing and keep us focused on Him. 

I hope that we will still be able to get away in the next few days, but even if we don't, I feel that once again, God is who God is and He is trustworthy. I hope you will find Him trustworthy as well. 

Beauty from Ash

There it was. A single, dark green leaf, beginning to unfurl. It had been conceived in darkness. A tiny seed that lay dormant, not dead, merely asleep in the cozy warmth of the dark earth. While it was sleeping the dragon had done his damage. He had ravaged the landscape, burning every tree and every living thing until all was nothing but ash. He thought he had destroyed life, but what he had meant for death, the One had meant for life. 

The ash lay heavy on the earth. It became, not a grave blanket of death, but a rich, comforting layer of warmth and nutrients. Gradually, over time, the rains came and the ash cooled and lingering life seeped into the black earth below. 

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The seed drank the death life and began to swell. Swollen and full, it opened, releasing a shoot into the fertile soil above. Pushing, struggling, reaching, it climbed upward. It knew, above the darkness there was light and the light was what it wanted. The light was what it needed. The shoot didn't know how it knew, but it knew it had to reach for the light. It knew the light would help it grow. It knew the light would give it life.

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Soon the pushing, struggling and reaching paid off. At the very tip of it's furthest point the shoot felt an odd sensation, warmth. It had only ever known the coolness of the earth in which it lay. It had only ever known the darkness, but now...now it reached. With one last ambitious push it poked through the earth and ash and found the light.  

*          *          *          *           *

Are we not like the seed? Were we not conceived in darkness? Did we not, when we were full with the nutrients of our mother's womb, the womb that would die after our life, death life, did we not move toward the light? We knew when it was time, as our mother's womb knew when it was time to help us, push, and reach and struggle, that we must find the light. We needed the light. 

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Why then, when we know the light is good, do we stop seeking it? Why, when we know the light gives us life and helps us grow, do we we hide from it? Why do we prefer to cover ourselves back up with the dragon's ash, trying to hide rather than growing to the potential that the One had meant for us? 

It is because we are afraid. 

Do not fear the light, or the One from which the light has its source. Rather, push, struggle, reach for Him. He will tend you like a tender shoot and raise you up into a mighty tree.

He alone can bring beauty from ash. 

(Written by Amy D. Christensen)

Just a Clay Pot

When I read this quote this morning, I thought it would be the perfect spring board for some thoughts on difficulty. It is hard in this day and age to not hear about, read about or personally experience difficulty. We have televisions, radios, computers, i-pads and phones keeping us aware, 24/7, of the pain and suffering going on in the world. Every time I get into my Yahoo email account I go through the home news page. The headlines are often sad, disturbing and even a little shocking. 

I don't know where you are at, but I don't need to read the headlines to understand pain and suffering. Each of us has a load to bear, a burden that seems to be permanently attached to our backs, much like the one Pilgrim had when he started his journey towards the celestial city.  When I read Oswald's words in the above quote, I think, "What? Seriously?" 

I have never thought of suffering as something to delight in! Grin and bear, struggle through, rant and cry, fall on my face....maybe, but delight? I don't think so. We might think that Oswald didn't get it, but he did. He served with the YMCA as a chaplain after the start of WWI in Cairo Egypt. He saw devastation, pain and suffering all around him. Oswald knew life was tragic. Yet, he was able to say that we should delight in difficulty. 

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Is it scriptural? Read what Paul says.

“7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves;
8 we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing;
9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;
10 always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.
11 For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.
12 So death works in us, but life in you.”

— 2 Corinthians 4:7-12 (NASB)

I am sure these verses came to mind when Oswald preached on suffering. There are several things in this passage I would like to point out.

1. We are but dust. The treasure of the Gospel was entrusted to us. Salvation is given to us. From the beginning when God breathed life into dust, He knew that His most precious possession would one day be kept in clay pots. Clay pots can be busted, broken and ground back into dust. We are just that fragile. 

2. He is but God. It is His surpassing power and His greatness that formed the clay pot in the first place. It is His strength and might that enables the pot to hold the precious treasure of the Gospel. We would not have life, if it were not for Him. 

3. For every negative there is a positive. Look at the next few lines of this passage.

     Afflicted.....BUT NOT crushed.

     Perplexed...BUT NOT despairing.

     Persecuted...BUT NOT forsaken.

     Struck down...BUT NOT destroyed.

There is no doubt that affliction can cause us to feel crushed. Perplexity can create despair. Persecution can cause us to feel forsaken. Being struck down can make us feel as though we will never get up again. But God!

4. We are dying. This is not just the physical process that we are all destined to go through, the shutting down of our bodily systems. This is a spiritual dying to ourselves and our flesh. This is what Jesus died for, our death, so that we might live through Him. Our recognition of this death and subsequent life is the first step in being able to delight in suffering. When we know who we are and who Christ is, life can make sense even when it doesn't! 

5. Death to life. Jesus died on the cross and rose again. We will die one day, but we will also rise again. During our time on this planet we can make the choice to accept the fact that suffering is real, albeit painful, and that it is a sign of Christ's death being worked out in us, so that we can have life, His life, always and forever. Making this choice is often a hard one, but it gets easier the more times you do it. We do not have to be crushed, despairing, forsaken or destroyed. We can turn our thoughts and our eyes towards Him and we will be victorious. 

I believe this is what we can delight in.

The Drudgery of Disappointment

Events over the last week have left many people feeling disappointed. We all know disappointment. We have all been introduced to that feeling of being let down, overwhelmed and done in. Disappointment is part of our lives. Who hasn't felt the frustration of difficult relationships or the strain of hardships at work or in the home? Who hasn't found themselves looking with anticipation to an exciting event only to be let down that it wasn't what we had hoped?

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There are present disappointments, the kind that we face daily. There are also presumed disappointments. These are the ones that we believe will happen just by the mere fact that life continues to move forward. Disappointment can lead down a path of greater difficulty.

I'd like to devote this post to looking at two ideas. The first is that disappointment breeds disappointment. The second is to think about things we can do to combat disappointment.

Disappointment breeds Disappointment:

1. Dwelling on the disappointment. Putting too much thought into anything isn't necessarily healthy. Even good things can become distractions in our thought life, causing us to become less productive and even depressed. When bad things happen, we must go through a process of digesting them and learning to cope with them. That is healthy. However, continuing to focus on our sadness, our struggle or our worry over the future, is not healthy. 

2. Laying blame. We all want to ascribe blame. It is my husband's fault that I did this. It's my kid's fault that happened. It's my boss's fault that I lost my job. Think through your day. Who did you blame today? That bad driver who cut you off? That slow cashier at the grocery store? The lazy waiter at the restaurant? Notice how I added an adjective before each of those people, bad, slow, lazy. It had to be someone's fault that I had a crummy day! Or could it have been, I didn't get up early enough to get to work on time without racing? I could have made a list when I went to the grocery store earlier in the week when I had time, so I didn't forget that one item I needed to cook dinner....and why doesn't my spouse ever take me out to dinner? Maybe the waiter at the restaurant had one too many customers like me, disappointed and grumpy!

3. Letting disappointment turn into something more fierce and controlling, such as anxiety or anger. Disappointment, as I said before is a natural part of life. While being occasionally anxious or angry is also normal, these feelings should not continue unchecked. Anxiety is basically a fight or flight response that will not turn off. If you have ever had a panic attack you know what I mean. Anger and the subsequent damage it can do to our own health or the health of others is also an emotion that is not meant to be the norm. 

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By allowing the three above mentioned processes take root in our lives we enter into a vicious cycle of disappointment breeding, not only disappointment, but other emotions such as anxiety and anger, which in turn can affect our health and the health of those around us.

Now let me turn to the idea of how to handle disappointment. 

For the one feeing the disappointment:

1. Don't dwell there. 

“ We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,”

— 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NASB)

You have heard me harp on this before, but I only keep bringing it up, because I know it to be true. We are the only ones who have control over our minds. We can let disappointment rule us, or we can take those thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. Even if you are not a Christ follower, you have control over your mind. If you dwell on all that is hard, sad, or bad, you will feel overwhelmed, discouraged and worn out! There are so many beautiful things to dwell on, from the beauty of creation to the lovely feel of climbing into a nice warm bed or eating a delicious meal. 

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2. Don't blame. Blame is not going to make the problem go away or get better. Be proactive. Find a way to make a difference in your home, in your job, in your community and yes even in your nation. My mother-in-law is a a big proponent of calling her elected officials, asking questions and stating her concerns. If enough people were actually doing that sort of thing, you can bet it would make a difference. Even if you don't see results immediately, you can know that you are doing what you can to make a difference. Being proactive takes away the feeling that you have been hurt or disappointed and gives you power.

3. Don't let deeper emotions take root. While anxiety and anger are just as normal as feeling disappointed, these emotions when left unchecked can result in much deeper trauma, not only to you personally, but to those you act out on. If you feel that you are heading down a road of being overly anxious or angry about a situation, find a good counselor, pastor or friend to talk to. Even making small  adjustments in your lifestyle can make a difference in your attitude. When I am anxious I quote scripture, listen to music or go for a walk. When I am overly angry, I do deep breathing, letting the anger go as I breath out. 

For those dealing with disappointed people:

Even if you are not the one dealing with disappointment you probably know others who are. You can be a light in their life and help them through the difficulty they are going through.

1. Acknowledge their disappointment. Don't say, "Get over it!" or "I don't understand why you feel that way." You may not understand, but the point is to be understanding. Let them talk, and try to understand where they are coming from. 

2. Use your own experiences with disappointment to have empathy. 

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.”

— Matthew 5:7 (NASB)

You'd be surprised how extending mercy can build bridges and break down walls! Your willingness to have compassion and mercy on someone who is struggling with disappointment could be the very image of Christ that person needs to see.

3. Give of your time. Sometimes people just need a friend to help them over the disappointment. Invite them out for lunch. Ask them to go for a walk with you. Get some fun movies to watch together, preferably something not controversial. If they are willing, pray with them. Let them see you are a real friend, one who has also experienced disappointments. Be open and honest. 

I hope if you are reading this and you are experiencing disappointment that you will find some encouragement here. I also hope those of you who are not struggling right now, will extend your hand in kindness and compassion towards one who is.