When Darkness Comes - Part 9: The Transformative Power of Thanksgiving

We all have heard the old saying that we are to have an attitude of gratitude. Most of us are aware of the difference a mindset of thankfulness can have on our thoughts, emotions and actions.

Image by Here and now, unfortunately, ends my journey on Pixabay from Pixabay

“Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.”

— Seneca

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings”

— William Arthur Ward

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.”

— Aesop

God’s Word is clear on the importance of giving thanks.

“in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.”

— I Thessalonians 5:18 (NASB)

Just as the Bible commands us to, “Rejoice always” (1 Thessalonians 5:16), and “pray without ceasing” (I Thessalonians 5:17), we are also commanded to give thanks at all times in everything. That means we are to give thanks when the darkness is upon us. We are to give thanks for it, in it and after it has left us. Why is it so important that we thank God when we are in the darkness? Let’s look at a few different reasons.

1 - It places us under His authority.

Image by David Mark from Pixabay

The act of remembering who we are and who God is enables us to have perspective. Being thankful places us in our correct standing before Him. Pride, which places us above God, saying we can get through this ourselves and we don’t need anyone’s help, especially His, makes us the authority and not God.

“Every person is to be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.”

— Romans 13:1 (NASB)

Knowing there is authority and actually placing ourselves under it are two different things. When we give thanks we recognize God as the one true authority.

2 - It places us under His protection.

“1 One who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
Will lodge in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
My God, in whom I trust!”
3 For it is He who rescues you from the net of the trapper
And from the deadly plague.
4 He will cover you with His pinions,
And under His wings you may take refuge;
His faithfulness is a shield and wall.

5 You will not be afraid of the terror by night,
Or of the arrow that flies by day;
6 Of the plague that [a]stalks in darkness,
Or of the destruction that devastates at noon.
7 A thousand may fall at your side
And ten thousand at your right hand,
But it shall not approach you.
8 You will only look on with your eyes
And see the retaliation against the wicked.
9 For you have made the Lord, my refuge,
The Most High, your dwelling place.
10 No evil will happen to you,
Nor will any plague come near your tent.

11 For He will give His angels orders concerning you,
To protect you in all your ways.
12 On their hands they will lift you up,
So that you do not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will walk upon the lion and cobra,
You will trample the young lion and the [d]serpent.

14 “Because he has loved Me, I will save him;
I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.
15 He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
16 I will satisfy him with a long life,
And show him My salvation.””

— Psalm 91

Why does giving thanks place us under His protection? The choice to be thankful requires a shift in our mindset. We know our Unseen Enemy loves to play mind games. If we are teetering on the edge of anger, bitterness, malice, wrath and other bad emotions, we are going to be more susceptible to making choices that are not for our benefit. Dark emotions are part of our sin nature, and very normal, but God does not want us to stay in those murky places. Staying there will result in our undoing.

3 - It lets in the light.

Giving thanks is like turning on a flashlight or lighting a candle when you are in a very dark room. When darkness is present in our lives and we are grieving, depressed, struggling, or lost, the choice to thank God allows Him to open the tiniest window into our shadowed world. You might not see the light right away. Often we become accustomed to the darkness and we might even forget what it was like to walk in the light, but light will always pierce the darkness.

When I was going through the dark time I have been sharing with you, I spent three days praying and journaling, most of which I have been sharing with you through these posts. On the last day, the last thing I did was lay before God the reasons I felt the way I did. There is a difference between acknowledging the emotion and knowing why we feel what we are feeling.

“Lord, perhaps what would help my sagging spirits is to confess to you all that is making me sad. I am sad...”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

I went on to tell Jesus, exactly what I was grieving over: my marriage, my family, relationships, being alone, my imperfections…the list went on. I ended that section with this.

Image by Christine Engelhardt from Pixabay

“So, I bring it all to You. The desires, the sadness, the disappointment. I bring it to You, and I choose to wait on You. I don’t know what to look for - a miracle? A rescue? A ta da moment? Whatever it is I trust You to bring it about. In the mean time I lean into Your strength and Your courage.””

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

However, I did not stop there.

“Now I need to give thanks.

I thank You, that the darkness and the light are the same to You.

Thank You, that as You hovered over the darkness of the deep at the beginning of Creation - You are here in my darkness - hovering over, beneath, beside and through.

Thank You, that while I do not have a friend right now to talk to or hang out with, I do have You.

Thank You, that You have shown Yourself to me since I was very young.

Thank You, that no matter what others say, You call me beloved!

Thank You, that I am not condemned, because I am in Christ Jesus.

Thank You, that as I choose to wait on You, You give me strength and courage. ”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

There was more on that list, and when I finished thanking God, I felt Him say to me, “You done good, now rest.”

Did I feel better? Not really, but I felt as though I had wrestled and wrangled. I wouldn’t realize the sword of the Almighty had pierced me until the next day. I’ll share that next week.

Until then, be thankful. God truly uses all things for our good.

When Darkness Comes - Part 8: When Feelings and Truth Meet

This series is long, but I don’t want to skim these ideas. God and His word are so incredibly complex and beautiful. We do ourselves an injustice when we do not truly understand, and believe, what He is trying to say to us. Remember at the very beginning of this series, I talked about how God created the darkness? Remember how I shared that the darkness was made for our benefit; for rest; for growth? The same is true of the darkness we are walking through. No matter what the darkness is, even those things that the devil meant for our destruction, God can and will use to make us into His perfect and beautiful children. There is one thing we must do…be willing to let Him pierce us. In the same way the nails pierced the gentle hands, and the sword pierced the side of our Messiah, we share in His sufferings when we let God pierce our hearts with His truth. It is by sharing in His sufferings that we receive our greatest comfort.

Image by jonnapeitso from Pixabay

“For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.”

— 2 Corinthians 1:5 (NASB)

Last week I focused on the need for expressing and acknowledging our emotions during these times of darkness. God is not a weakling. He can handle anything we throw at Him, whether it be sadness, horror, anger, jealously, despair, anxiety and more. It is obvious when reading through the scriptures, ever since our initial creation and subsequent fall to sin, God spoke His truth to the writers in order to bring us comfort, peace, joy, courage and the ability to express our innermost thoughts without fear of retribution.

David and the writers of the Psalms, as well as Job, Jeremiah, Solomon and others filled pages of scripture with emotional musings.

“Why are you in despair, my soul? And why are you restless within me? Wait for God, for I will again praise Him For the help of His presence, my God.”

— Psalm 43:5 (NASB)

“How long am I to feel anxious in my soul, With grief in my heart all the day? How long will my enemy be exalted over me?”

— Psalm 13:2 (NASB)

“I am disgusted with my own life; I will express my complaint freely; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.”

— Job 10:1 (NASB)

“My sorrow is beyond healing, My heart is faint within me!”

— Jeremiah 8:18 (NASB)

“Why did I ever come out of the womb To look at trouble and sorrow, So that my days have been spent in shame?”

— Jeremiah 20:18 (NASB)

“Do not be eager in your spirit to be angry, For anger resides in the heart of fools.”

— Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NASB)

“Say to those with anxious heart, “Take courage, fear not. Behold, your God will come with vengeance; The retribution of God will come, But He will save you.””

— Isaiah 35:4 (NASB)

Image by click like 👍 👍 👍 from Pixabay

Truth growth in the Christian’s life most often happens when God’s truth meets the raw edges of our intense emotions. When we take His word and apply it to our feelings, and our circumstances His light permeates our darkest dark.

“For the word of God is living and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, even penetrating as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

— Hebrews 4:12 (NASB)

When I am struggling in the dark, I am often unsure, confused and overwhelmed. With God there is no confusion. With His word, His truth, revealed by His Holy Spirit there is only surety and purity. This makes all the difference when we are struggling.

Once again, let me share my own journey. Once I acknowledged my despair and sadness to the Father, He brought me back to two particular scriptures: Psalm 16:11 and Psalm 27:14. For this particular post I will expand only on the second.

“Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.”

— Psalm 27:14 (NASB)

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

“Waiting has always been hard. Waiting for the salvation of our loved ones who are not walking with You; waiting for a diagnosis and treatment for our daughter; waiting for the birth of our second grandson...but perhaps I am missing the point. The verse doesn’t emphasize WHAT we are waiting for, but WHO...You!

While we are waiting we are to be doing two things -
1 - Be strong - perhaps this is where I am struggling the most. I have often thought of myself as fairly strong - all the crazy stuff Mark and I have gone through - but perhaps, I am not really very strong.

I obviously get upset and emotional when, if I had been leaning on You, I would have had the strength I needed. I have been guilty of wanting my strength to come from others, but there are other scriptures like Ephesians 6:10.

Before Paul launched into the armor of God He says, ‘Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.’
It doesn’t say, ‘Be strong in your spouse, be strong in your church, be strong in your own strength - it says be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/24/21

From this point, I looked at a cross reference from Ephesians 6:10 to Ephesians 1:19, but I looked at it within the context of Ephesians 1:18-23. To keep this from getting to long, feel free to click on the link, or grab your Bible and take a look at this passage. It is worth while, to truly understand what that phrase, “…in the strength of His might,” encompasses.

Image by Sabine Mondestin from Pixabay

“The strength of His might was brought about when He raised Jesus from the dead and placed Him on His right hand in the heavenly places, and gave Him (Jesus) power, rule, authority and dominion over all.

SO...when it says I am to be strong in the strength of His might it is telling me I do not have to be strong in my strength or power. NO! I am to be strong in the same might that raised Jesus from the dead; not only from the dead, but to His position over all.

2 - Take Courage - The second thing I am to do is take courage (mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty). When looking up the meaning of this word, it seems that courage, or taking it up refers to a cause. What is the reason I have to be courageous; or from whom do I get my courage. It is from the Lord Jesus Christ.

The end result is that as I am waiting on the Lord, He will be my strength and my courage. I am not alone in this.

Thank you Father, Son and Holy Spirit.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/24/21

When God’s word pierces me it is as though I enter into a layer of God I never understood before. I have read through the Bible multiple times over my life as a believer, but I stand amazed at how His Spirit stabs straight to the heart, changing my perspective and my understanding when I am truly open to His teaching. More often than not, this happens when I am walking in the dark.

Don’t be afraid to wrestle with God. Don’t be afraid to search His word and pray the eyes of your heart will be open. Allow Him to pierce you through to the heart.

Next week we will look at the role of thanksgiving in the dark. Have a great weekend!

Lessons from Loss

I’ve decided to take another week off, before getting back to my series on Godly traits. On Monday my daughter texted me that a woman from our former church had died unexpectedly. I was in shock. Mary was only a few years older than me. She had five grown children, a devoted husband and her first grandchild, a girl, whom she adored. She was dearly loved, not only by her immediate family, but by siblings and church family and friends. What really floored me, and many others, was the fact that last summer Mary had gone into the hospital with a lung infection. After months in the hospital and rehab, she seemed to get better. She got to go home and resume a somewhat normal life. Not long after life started having some semblance of normalcy, Mary lost her sister to cancer, this was just last month. Last week, Mary ended up, back in the hospital and Monday morning she died.

Sweeny family. Mary is in the middle with her husband Paul. My daughter took these pictures this past spring. Photo credit Rebecca Trumbull.

I felt myself questioning God. Why, Lord? Why? This was a beautiful woman; one of your sheep, who loved and gave and was gracious. She was a beautiful soul, inside and out. She loved her family and took others in as if they were part of the family. She exuded the peace that passes all understanding and I would often see her posting quotes from Ann VosKamp’s One Thousand Gifts on being thankful. The funny thing was, I didn’t really know Mary that well. We moved in different circles as our kids were growing up and while we went to the same church, we weren’t able to spend vast amounts of time together. However, I still feel this loss. It is as if in a galaxy full of stars, Mary’s shown so brightly, that the burning out of that star affected the whole universe.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I am not sharing this with you to look for sympathy. This was a tragic and unexpected loss, but what I wanted to do was use these musings as a branch from which to tie a rope, take a leap, swing out and fall into the river of God’s grace.

How do we deal with these things? How do we get past the shaking of the fist towards the sky, to the questioning why, to the acceptance, to the choice to believe that He is good, no matter what, to the final step of lifting our hands in praise, adoration and thanksgiving? Two words come to mind which I have used on the blog before, baby steps.

Image by Barbara Jackson from Pixabay

A baby does not learn to walk immediately. It is a process. They reach, they scoot, they rock, they roll, they crawl, they grab, they pull themselves up, they move around the furniture and eventually they let go and take those first steps. Those first steps aren’t perfect, but they are full of enthusiasm. When we are new in our relationship with Christ we are full of enthusiasm. We want to tell the world what He has done, not only for us as individuals, but for the whole world. We want to share the good news that Jesus loves the unlovely, rescues the drowning, lifts up the cripple and fully redeems that which was completely lost.

Then life happens. We experience disappointment, pain, heartbreak and loss. If we are being honest with ourselves we do not like these things and many of us probably thought when we came to Christ that it was going to be smooth sailing. How very wrong we were. If anything, it seems, at least for some, that we are being shot at by the biggest guns available on a US battleship. Worse yet, we might be getting hammered by friendly fire, while well intended, completely misses the mark and wounds us instead of helping us out.

So how do we approach loss without losing our faith? How do we endure pain without giving up hope? How do we continue to walk when we are clearly wounded and would rather lay down and die?

One baby step at a time.

Baby Step 1 - Shaking fists and questions.

Image by Niek Verlaan from Pixabay

God is much bigger than we are. He created us and He knows our frame is but dust. As the Creator he manipulated that dust, breathing life into it. Don’t ever think, He doesn’t get it. He most certainly knows our weaknesses, our pit falls and our innermost feelings. You might not be literally shaking your fist at Him, but He knows what you are thinking on the inside. Sometimes it is okay to get mad, to raise our hands, not in praise, but in frustration, anger and pain. The key is to not stay there. It is okay to say:

I don’t get it.

It’s not fair.

Why? Why? Why?

I don’t like you right now?

It hurts and you let it happen.

That is exactly how I felt about Mary’s death. She was a vibrant woman and God let her die. I couldn’t help thinking, there are thousands of others, suffering with debilitating illnesses, pain and complete loss of ability to remember their own families or even how to use the bathroom. Why not take one of them? Why not relieve someone else of their burden? But He didn’t. He took Mary.

It felt wrong to have those thoughts and feelings, but they are real, visceral, but real and doesn’t God know that? He gave His own Son to suffer and die. He knows loss. He knows pain. Jesus knows loneliness and abandonment.

This is an absolutely acceptable part of grief. Whether your loss is the death of a loved one, an unfaithful partner, a divorce, a rebellious child, a parent going through Alzheimers, or the loss of a long time job, it is okay to feel anger, and it is okay to question why.

Baby Step 2 - Wear the blanket.

Image by Katrina_S from Pixabay

When my father died back in 2006, I distinctly remember walking in a fog. Life just seemed rather cloudy and my brain felt full of cotton. Often when we grieve we think that the best thing for us is to throw ourselves back into life, subduing the overwhelming sense of loss to a dull ache. In most cultures the process of grief is much more elaborate and loud.

In 1985 I spent a summer in Africa. During that time, I got to experience a true death wail. It was unnerving as a group, of mostly women, wept and wailed and cried over a baby who had tragically passed away. This was no reserved whispered ceremony. This was a loud progression of frenzied sobs and tears. They let their expression of the sadness they felt erupt into the still, dark night, like a mass of molten lava pouring out of a volcano.

While I do not expect that, here in our US of A, we are going to start doing a death wail, it is good to allow ourselves to feel grief. I truly believe wrapping yourself up in the blanket of grief every once in a while, helps you to heal faster. If putting on a real blanket helps with the symbolism, go ahead. However, you do it, take some time to feel the sadness and the pain. Cry, sob, moan and even wail. It’s okay. Then when you feel a bit of relief, put the blanket away and go live life. Eventually, you will find, you don’t need that blanket quite so often. Eventually, you will be able to put it away, all together.

Baby Step 3 - Choices.

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The best way to handle making choices during a time of grief is to choose slowly and thoughtfully. Don’t rashly give up your faith. Don’t decide to sell everything you have, join a commune and move to Tibet. Don’t start drinking. Don’t obsess on your loss. The greatest mistake we make when we are in the throes of grief is to think we are okay and we can handle this on our own. It is important to choose to take care of ourselves and to allow people to take care of us. We were not meant to be islands. We are supposed to live in community with others. In fact you might find there are others who have already been through the grief process before you. They can help, if you let them .

In addition, choose truth. Often we question whether God really loves us when someone or something has been taken away from us, but if we keep our eyes on scripture we will remember verses like:

“The Lord appeared to him from afar, saying, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness.”

— Jeremiah 31:3 (NASB)

“nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

— Romans 8:39 (NASB)

“Finally, brethren, rejoice, be made complete, be comforted, be like-minded, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.”

— 2 Corinthians 13:11 (NASB)

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,”

— Ephesians 2:4 (NASB)

God does love us and He always will. He will always be there for us, even in the midst of trial and grief.

Baby Step 4 - Take Action

Image by Olya Adamovich from Pixabay

Once we have worked through the emotions of anger, pain and sadness we can begin to, once again, take action. Action might start out with something simple like getting out of bed, taking a shower and getting dressed. Eventually, you might be able to go out and take a walk or meet a friend for coffee. Down the road, you may make it to church and then out to do something fun again. Your loved ones would not want you to stop living life. Besides it is in the choice to start living again, that God reveals His most precious and magnificent promises.

After I found out Mary was gone, I knew my sadness and shock was not as sharp as the edge on the sword her family was and is feeling right now, but I also felt that God had let me down. I prayed for Mary’s healing and He didn’t come through. That evening, my husband and I took a walk. I looked up at the expanse of night sky and heard His voice saying, “I’m still right here.”

Wow! That was just what I needed to hear. He is still right there and He always will be. He is there for us to lean on, pound on and depend on no matter what and knowing that is sometimes all we need. When I realize He is really all I need to get through, I am able to raise my hands in praise to Him and I can start remembering what I am thankful for.

My friend Mary was a Christian. She is with Jesus now. She is also with her mom and her sister who went before her. She left behind a legacy of love, and friendship for her family and her friends. The world is a more beautiful place because of her and I can be thankful that I knew her.

What Giants are you Fighting?

Last week I wrote a fictional piece that was based on a dream I had a number of years ago. At the time a girlfriend and I were doing a study by Mark and Patti Virkler titled, How to Hear God’s Voice. It was an eye opening study and I would strongly recommend it to anyone interested in delving deeper into their relationship with God. However, I will caution, this study is not for everyone. Some of Virkler’s practices and teachings might grate against those who are more conservative and traditional. It is my opinion that the concepts Virkler addresses are solidly backed by scripture and accountability, thus eliminating the possibility for misunderstanding or being led astray.

All that being said, at one point in the study, the author encourages the reader to ask God for dreams that are of Him and to journal and share those dreams with an accountability partner, which is imperative to the study. It was during this time, God gave me the dream about the giants. When I wrote the piece for last week’s post, which you can read here, I added a few details, but the essence and message of the dream is the same.

All of us are facing giants in our lives. Some of those giants may have us so entangled in their lies that we no longer realize they hold us captive. Many giants we face are brutal and ugly and others are merely just annoying, simply taking up large spaces in our homes and eating our food. In this post I would like to share with you a few of the giants I battle on a regular basis.

The Giant Called SELF

Pixabay

This one is a doozy. He is huge and like an oversized octopus has his tentacles digging into everything. I find him lounging around my home, like he owns the place and am often at a loss as to what to do with him. However, the Bible is clear on the likes of this one.

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit,”

— Philippians 2:3a (NASB)

It says do nothing, from a selfish standpoint. That is pretty specific. I mean, shouldn’t I be able to do at least a few things from a selfish point of view?

I hear a giant growing.

I mean, isn’t my time, my time? Shouldn’t I be allowed to do what I want, at least once in a while? Don’t I get to wallow in the bad stuff that has happened to me? Don’t I get to voice my opinion? Don’t I have rights?

No wonder that giant has gotten so big.

Please don’t misunderstand there is a difference between taking care of ourselves and something called selfish ambition.

“ For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.”

— James 3:16 (NASB)

Selfish ambition is a seed of self centeredness that is allowed to grow…well, into a giant. What ensues is disorder and every evil thing.

Let me give you an example that many of you might understand. In marriage there is little room for selfishness, yet so often it is self centeredness that leads to arguments, misunderstandings and eventual break downs of relationships. I know! I am married and I still battle with this giant almost every day in my marriage. I believe that is true for two reasons.

1. Satan hates marriage and has no problem creating havoc in a marriage.

2. Marriage and family is, perhaps, the toughest proving ground for living selflessly. After all, any time other people are involved that closely the giant of SELF is bound to interfere.

The Giant Called FEAR

Pixabay

This giant may be a home dweller for some of you, but for me he just sort of comes and goes. He’ll pop up when I have to do something different from the usual, like go to the dentist or meet someone new. Sometimes, he comes around when it gets dark or just when I am going to lay down for the night. All too often he torments me when I am alone.

Once again, the Bible is clear on this as well.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

— 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

I quoted this verse in the New King James Version of the Bible, because that is how I learned it. I love the focus that this verse has. God is not the one who makes us afraid. Fear is from Satan. God gives us power, love and a sound mind.

Start listening to the news and you can tell people are afraid. People are fighting for power, dying for love and taking meds and drugs to create a semblance of a sound mind. Satan created fear and he bases fear on lies. Lies that say if you don’t have money or power or this or that you won’t ever have security. Lies that say, if you don’t dress this way or do this or that you’ll never have love. Lies that also say if you don’t have it immediately you aren’t going to be happy or that get you to focus on details that don’t even matter to such an extent that you can’t sleep or eat or think straight.

This giant is persistent and without divine intervention will be a constant companion.

The Giant Called DESPAIR

Pixabay

This is probably one of the hardest giants to fight. He usually doesn’t make an appearance until I am so worn down I have nothing left to fight with. He often takes over where the other two giants leave off. When I have become focused on myself and am obsessing over my fears, then he steps in and I become hopeless. He often brings up things from the past and leaves me feeling useless and used up.

The Bible is full of stories of people who were sad and despairing. Job, Esther, Ruth, Naomi, David and many others felt the weight of having their souls in despair.

“Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him For the help of His presence.”

— Psalm 42:5 (NASB)

Often when this giant is looming over us, we don’t even know for sure why he is there, but one thing is often the case, we begin to doubt. We doubt God and all the promises He has made in His word. This doubt is like candy for Giant DESPAIR. He feeds off of our doubt. That is why the psalmist placed his hope in the Lord. Only the Lord is a steady rock in a very shaky world.

Next week I’ll be giving a few pointers for battles the giants we face in our lives. Until then, don’t give up the fight!