When Darkness Comes - Part 6: Remembering Who We are in the Darkness

Many times when we are walking in the darkness, especially if we are doing it for an extended time, we tend to forget who we are meant to be. We fall back into the pattern of listening to the manipulator’s voice, rather than the Creator’s voice. We focus in on our insecurities, rather than our place on His solid foundation. We begin to obsess over all that is wrong, rather than being thankful for all that is right. I know. I have been there.

Image by Darkmoon_Art from Pixabay

Image by Darkmoon_Art from Pixabay

Being a low energy person, it is easy for me to get tired, not just physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. There is a reason, Jesus said to come to Him when we are weary and need rest. He wasn’t just talking about our physical weariness. In fact, I think He was referring more to the weariness we feel when we are walking in the darkness. What did he say in those verses?

28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.”
— Matthew 11:28-30 (NASB)

I want to come back to these verses when I explore how to survive the darkness, but for today, I want you to notice verse 29. We are to take His yoke on ourselves, but not just that. We are to do it so that we can learn from Jesus. Why? Because He is gentle, humble and in Him we will find rest for our souls. We can see here, it is not just our physical bodies that can find rest in Him, although I believe we can find that as well. In Him we find rest for our souls.

Once again, I want to draw on my own experiences to help you understand how important it is to remember God’s eternal truth when you are going through dark times. If we forget who He says we are, then we open the door for Satan to influence us with his lies and manipulative whisperings. Let’s look at a few of the false faces we wear when we are maneuvering the dark places in life.

False Face - The Mime

Image by Rudi Maes from Pixabay

Image by Rudi Maes from Pixabay

You all know this one. They don’t talk about their struggles. You might even identify with this one. Unfortunately, the Christian church has made the mime one of our most numerous congregants. We don’t talk about it. When life gets tough, we sink down into our character and keep silent. Are you struggling with mental illness? Don’t talk about it. Are you frustrated in your marriage? Don’t talk about it. Are you shell shocked after a great loss? Don’t talk about it. We are too busy, too tired, too wrapped up in our own selves to take the time to listen, even if we wanted you to talk. Then, like the mime, we occasionally act out. We blow up at inappropriate times. We cry for no reason. We are alone in our silent performance as the rest of the world wonders why we are acting so odd.

False Face - The Stoic

Image by Szilárd Szabó from Pixabay

Image by Szilárd Szabó from Pixabay

Definition of a stoic:

a member of a school of philosophy founded by Zeno of Citium about 300 b.c. holding that the wise man should be free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief, and submissive to natural law
— Webster's Online Dictionary

A person who maneuvers the dark times with this philosophy will often exhibit no emotion at all. Their attitude might resemble that of a rock. While even those who identify with stoicism do have emotions, their desire is to not give in to extravagant or showy emotion, choosing rather, to maintain a steady, even keeled composure.

False Face - The Dancer

Image by Vladimir Yuminov from Pixabay

When difficulty comes, this person will often be flitting from one thing to another, like a bee buzzing from flower to flower. An individual who exhibits this behavior, is often afraid to slow down or sit still, knowing that when they do the full weight of their struggles will overwhelm them. They believe if they keep moving, they will not have to really deal with their pain and eventually it will become less difficult.

False Face - Pollyanna

Image by Christopher Ross from Pixabay

If you are not familiar with the term Pollyanna, it is defined as a person that is excessively positive or optimistic. Originally, Pollyanna was a novel written in 1913 by Eleanor H. Porter. It told the story of eleven year old orphan girl Pollyanna Whittier, who is sent to live with her stern, cold, spinster Aunt Polly. Pollyanna maneuvers life playing a game she learned from her father, called the Glad Game. The premise being that there is always something to be glad about, or an opportunity to always see the brighter side of any dark cloud.

While I do believe there is benefit in looking for the good in life and in finding things to be thankful for, it is equally important to not deceive ourselves into believing there is nothing wrong, when in fact we are still truly hurting and struggling.

I am sure if we looked deeper we could find more False Faces that we adopt and use when we are not willing to face the darkness we are going through. However, it is of great importance that we do recognize our struggles and difficulties.

What does God’s Word say about us? Let’s look at another page from my journal.

Image by CharuTyagi from Pixabay

Image by CharuTyagi from Pixabay

I recognize my standing as a sinner.

23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
— Romans 3:23 (NASB)

I called on Your name and You washed me whiter than snow.

13 for “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
— Romans 10:13 (NASB)
“Come now, and let us debate your case,”
Says the Lord,
“Though your sins are as scarlet,
They shall become as white as snow;
Though they are red like crimson,
They shall be like wool.
— Isaiah 1:18 (NASB)

I know, according to Your word, my name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life.

27 and nothing unclean, and no one who practices abomination and lying, shall ever come into it, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life.
— Revelation 21:27 (NASB)

I am sealed by His blood.

30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
— Ephesians 4:30 (NASB)
22 who also sealed us and gave us the Spirit in our hearts as a pledge.
— 2 Corinthians 1:22 (NASB)

I know according to Your word, I am not condemned.

Therefore there is now no condemnation at all for those who are in Christ Jesus.
— Romans 8:1 (NASB)

I know when I am weary and burdened, I can come to You and You will give me rest.

28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
— Matthew 11:28 (NASB)

I know that Your yoke is easy and Your burden light. I can come to You and learn from You because you are gentle and humble.

29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.”
— Matthew 11:29-30

I know You are always with me.

5 No one will be able to oppose you all the days of your life. Just as I have been with Moses, I will be with you; I will not desert you nor abandon you.
— Joshua 1:5 (NASB)
5 Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever abandon you,”
— Hebrews 13:5 (NASB)

I know You have given me, Your precious and magnificent promises.

4 Through these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world on account of lust.
— 2 Peter 1:4 (NASB)

I know that You work all things together for good.

28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
— Romans 8:28 (NASB)

I know You love me.

See how great a love the Father has given us, that we would be called children of God; and in fact we are. For this reason the world does not know us: because it did not know Him.
— 1 John 3:1 (NASB)

In order for us to be able to walk in the darkness we must remember, not only who God is, but who we are. I hope you will find encouragement in these verses.

Next time I will delve into what our response should be when we are walking in the storms.

Have a good week.

When Darkness Comes - Part 5: Finding God in the Darkness

This post will be rather long and contains aspects of my own experience in the darkness, but I share the details to help you understand the process.

We have been learning about the darkness. We have seen its beginning; created by an Almighty God for the benefit of His creation. Darkness was not meant to be bad. It was not meant to hide evil and torment the sinner, but our unseen enemy wanted to make the good bad. From the moment he became enamored with his beauty and too proud to place himself under the authority of the divine creator he has chosen to manipulate that which is good, right and true.

If I came to you and said, “I am going through a very dark time,” wouldn’t you assume I was struggling? Wouldn’t you pray for the light to come back into my life, so I might once again be walking in the blessedness of my Savior’s love? Why do we assume, darkness is not the place we are meant to walk? How did we get to the point where struggle and disappointment in life is thought to be in our lives because of something we did or did not do? Why do we embrace the light, the sun, the beautiful blue skies and gentle breezy days, but not the night, the dark, the gray lumbering clouds over a storm tossed sea? Isn’t all of it allowed by our Heavenly Father? Doesn’t every circumstance that comes into our lives come first through the gentle and loving hands of our risen Lord?

I form light and create darkness;
I make well-being and create calamity;
I am the Lord, who does all these things.
— Isaiah 45:7 (ESV)

I will be the first to admit, I do not like this truth, but truth it is. The scripture is full of God’s truth. We are not allowed to take one truth, but not the other. We do have a free will and we can dislike some of the truths that are in the Bible, but that does not change the fact that they are the truths put forth by a holy and perfect God. Part of the key to being able to accept God’s truth is to really get to know Him. Many people read one verse and decide, God is fickle, or angry, or malevolent, but they are not seeing the entire picture. Just as we take time to get to know the person we fall in love with, falling in love with God takes time and a willingness to trust.

I want to take this part of my series on When Darkness Comes, slowly. These are the things we need to understand, and know with the very core of our being. This is where the Holy Spirit makes effective the work that Jesus did on the cross. This is the time when our head knowledge, must become heart knowledge.

My Experience

About a month ago, I was having a particularly difficult time. I have long struggled with my self image, often feeling worthless and useless. Over the last 34 years as a wife and mother I have struggled with the poor choices I made, my lack of love and compassion for both my spouse and our daughters. I grieved over the death of my father, the ensuing changes in my mother’s life and how that made life more complex. I witnessed divisions and strife in our church. I became aware of the trauma one of my family members suffered at the hands of a supposed “man of God.” I saw this same family member walk away from the church and begin a self-destructive path of rebellion against God and self-indulgent behavior. During this period I sought counsel from a licensed counselor and was told I was “mercy gone wild.” I learned about boundaries and letting go of many of the dreams I had for myself and my family. I was regularly building coffins, throwing my dreams inside, nailing them shut and burying them.

Life slowly began to be less chaotic, but things were, and still are, hard. Recently, we learned our youngest daughter has a brain tumor. In addition to that she has been having a multiplicity of symptoms such as numbness, pain, tremors, dizziness and nausea. To this day, those things are still unresolved and the doctors do not believe her symptoms to be related to the tumor, which is very small and which, for now, they are keeping an eye on. This is just another straw on that proverbial camel’s back that makes the load heavier and heavier.

In my desire to draw closer to God, He lead me to see there is only one way to do this. I must take Him completely at His word. During that time a month ago, I had a three day period of a sadness so deep, I did not know how God was going to bring me out of it. I was hopeless. Hopeless for our country, hopeless for my daughter, hopeless for those who think they know truth, but are wearing blinders, hopeless for so many young people who have walked away from the church and from Him, and hopeless for myself. I never felt so completely lost in the darkness. I cried. No, I sobbed. I could not stop sobbing. Hour after hour I wondered how I could make so many tears.

Finally, when the tears began to dry up, I heard God’s voice telling me, “Get your journal and tell me what you know.”

This is the first step to finding Him in the deep darkness. Remind yourself of who God is.

Learn Who God is, and then Tell Him

(excerpt take from my journal - Bible verses added after)

Lord, I know Your truth. Your word gives me that truth and it never changes.

Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.
— John 17:17 (NASB)
The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of our God stands forever.
— Isaiah 40:8 (NASB)

I know Your lovingkindness is everlasting.

But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting for those who fear Him,
And His justice to the children’s children,
— Psalm 103:17 (NASB)

I know Your mercies are new every morning.

For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for a lifetime;
Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning.
— Psalm 30:5 (NASB)

I know Your grace is matchless.

For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.
— John 1:16 (NASB)

You have freely given, so I might freely receive.

Now we have not received the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God.
— 1 Corinthians 2:12 (NASB)

You have bridged the gap between our sin laden world and your perfect heaven. I know You gave us Jesus. It was Your plan that He be the perfect sacrifice.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life.
— John 3:16 (NASB)

I know all have sinned and fall short of Your glory.

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
— Romans 3:23 (NASB)

I know the punishment for sin is death.

For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
— Romans 6:23 (NASB)

I know, whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

for “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
— Romans 10:13 (NASB)

I know it is not by my own power and strength, but because of your mercy, that you saved me.

For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;
9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
— Ephesians 2:8-9 (NASB)

I know you have removed my sin as far as the east is from the west.

As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our wrongdoings from us.
— Psalm 103:12 (NASB)

Every truth, I believe about God is backed by scripture and these are just a few of them. You could do whole studies on the attributes and characteristics of our Almighty Redeemer. It is important when we are in the darkness to go back to what we know is true and to cling to it.

Next week we will look at the next phase of our journey as we walk in the dark. Thank you for following along.