A Series of (Un)Fortunate Events - Part 2: The Necessity of Misfortune

Last week I introduced you to A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series by Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler) that has also been made into a movie with Jim Carey, and a Netflix series with Neil Patrick Harris. The series follows three orphans, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire, who are trying to find out why their parents died in a fire, while at the same time trying to find a guardian who will love and care for them. The inheritance of their future fortune marks them easy prey for villains wanting their money, specifically Count Olaf.

I made the comparison that often we are like the orphaned Baudelaire’s experiencing one tragedy after another. Misfortune is, as the word’s meaning defines, unfortunate. The word fortunate is defined as - “bringing some good thing, not foreseen as certain; receiving some unexpected good.” Misfortune is defined simply as, “an unhappy situation.” When we call someone unfortunate we are saying they are “marked or accompanied by misfortune.” (Definitions from Webster’s Online Dictionary.)

All of us experience misfortune, but we don’t necessarily see everyone as unfortunate, where every day seems to be a struggle and hope is as elusive as an early morning mist. In fact, when a tragedy happens we will often say, “You were very fortunate. It could have been so much worse.” While this is true, it isn’t always the best thing to say.

If you have been following me for a while, you have probably heard me say that struggles and difficulty are not always all bad. We’ve all heard stories or watched a Hallmark movie, where something beautiful has come out of a terrible situation. In my own life I have seen the hand of God extend mercy in situations where the outcome of people’s choices could have been total tragedy.

Last week I discussed the necessity of Jesus’ departure from earth, so the Holy Spirit could come. Without the Helper’s constant guidance and revelation of God’s word we would be lost. Thus the need to recognize, not all tragedies and difficulties are truly unfortunate. With the Holy Spirit’s help we can recognize four key things about our difficulties.

1 - Allowed by God.

If you believe what the Bible says about God’s characteristics then you must acknowledge His sovereignty. If God is sovereign, all things that come into our lives are sifted through His fingers. We have the book of Job as one for instance of God allowing great difficulty into one man’s life. But, even after all the tragedy, Job knew God was good and sovereign.

He said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked I shall return there.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.”
— Job 1:22 (NASB 1995)
9 Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!”
10 But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.
— Job 2:9-10 (NASB 1995)

I can still remember a sermon I heard a few years ago when we were going through an especially hard time. The preacher made two points:

1 - God is sovereign and God loves you.

2 - When you are going through something hard refer back to point number 1.

It sounds pretty simple, but in reality it is. Our Almighty God is not trying to trick us, or manipulate us. He is completely straight forward. His holiness is pure. His goodness is everlasting. His mercies are new every morning. Most importantly, He loves us. Plain and simple.

2 - For our benefit.

Image by Melk Hagelslag from Pixabay

Most of us want things that are beneficial for us whether healthy food and exercise, a place to get away and rest, peace of mind and loving, nurturing relationships. God wants things that are beneficial for us as well. The difference is that as the author of all creation He has a far better grasp of what we truly need.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
— Romans 8:28 (NASB 1995)

Notice in the verse it says that God causes ALL things to work together for good. It isn’t only the happy, joyful, peaceful things that work for our good, it includes the mind numbing, tragic and ugly parts of life. How can this be the case? Because it is God who is doing the working for the good. We are hardly capable of getting ourselves out of bed in the morning, how is it we are going to know the deep needs of our own selves? We think we do…happiness, peace, no longing, no fear, no confrontation…but we are unwilling to go to the One who knows us inside out.

3 - Meant for God reliance.

A trapeze artist knows the importance of being in excellent shape physically, and mentally. They know their muscles must be strong and their minds must not be distracted by the difficulties of life. In addition, they are completely reliant on their equipment. A broken wire, or rusty chain must be repaired or replaced. How do they know these things? By being taught by others who went before.

When we encounter unfortunate events it is the perfect opportunity to check our relationship with God. Are we maintaining our connection with Him. Are we keeping short accounts on our sin? Are we spending time in His word? Are we searching for scripture and advice on how to get through our difficulties by His strength and with His grace?

I don’t care what the commercials are telling you…be all you can be. I don’t care what the social media influencers are preaching…you are strong, you got this, you are woman hear you roar…most messages that come from a source outside of God Himself, while encouraging are not going to keep you sane when the bottom falls out of your world.

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
8 It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones.
— Proverbs 3:5-8 (NASB 1995)
6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,
7 casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.
— 1 Peter 5:6-7 (NASB 1995)
63 It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing; the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and are life.
— John 6:63 (NASB 1995)
8 It is better to take refuge in the Lord
Than to trust in man.
— Psalm 118:8 (NASB 1995)
10 ‘Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
— Isaiah 41:10 (NASB 1995)

We are meant to be God dependent, not independent.

4 - Renewal: God’s best outcome.

Coming through a series of unfortunate events is the perfect time for God to build something new in you. As you practice abiding in Him and relying on Him He will begin to weed that garden that He is cultivating in you. It may be that the misfortunes are actually His way of pulling the weeds of pride, self-centeredness and bitterness from your soul. Let Him be about His work for this will have the best outcome. You will come through your difficulties with a deeper, new found faith and knowledge, not only of who you are, but more importantly of who God is.

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
— Romans 12:2 (NASB 1995)
Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.
— 2 Corinthians 4:16 (NASB 1995)
He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit,
— Titus 3:5 (NASB 1995)

I want to encourage you to remember, you are not alone in your difficulty. There is a loving, omnipotent God working through your series of (un)fortunate events.

When Darkness Comes - Part 5: Finding God in the Darkness

This post will be rather long and contains aspects of my own experience in the darkness, but I share the details to help you understand the process.

We have been learning about the darkness. We have seen its beginning; created by an Almighty God for the benefit of His creation. Darkness was not meant to be bad. It was not meant to hide evil and torment the sinner, but our unseen enemy wanted to make the good bad. From the moment he became enamored with his beauty and too proud to place himself under the authority of the divine creator he has chosen to manipulate that which is good, right and true.

If I came to you and said, “I am going through a very dark time,” wouldn’t you assume I was struggling? Wouldn’t you pray for the light to come back into my life, so I might once again be walking in the blessedness of my Savior’s love? Why do we assume, darkness is not the place we are meant to walk? How did we get to the point where struggle and disappointment in life is thought to be in our lives because of something we did or did not do? Why do we embrace the light, the sun, the beautiful blue skies and gentle breezy days, but not the night, the dark, the gray lumbering clouds over a storm tossed sea? Isn’t all of it allowed by our Heavenly Father? Doesn’t every circumstance that comes into our lives come first through the gentle and loving hands of our risen Lord?

I form light and create darkness;
I make well-being and create calamity;
I am the Lord, who does all these things.
— Isaiah 45:7 (ESV)

I will be the first to admit, I do not like this truth, but truth it is. The scripture is full of God’s truth. We are not allowed to take one truth, but not the other. We do have a free will and we can dislike some of the truths that are in the Bible, but that does not change the fact that they are the truths put forth by a holy and perfect God. Part of the key to being able to accept God’s truth is to really get to know Him. Many people read one verse and decide, God is fickle, or angry, or malevolent, but they are not seeing the entire picture. Just as we take time to get to know the person we fall in love with, falling in love with God takes time and a willingness to trust.

I want to take this part of my series on When Darkness Comes, slowly. These are the things we need to understand, and know with the very core of our being. This is where the Holy Spirit makes effective the work that Jesus did on the cross. This is the time when our head knowledge, must become heart knowledge.

My Experience

About a month ago, I was having a particularly difficult time. I have long struggled with my self image, often feeling worthless and useless. Over the last 34 years as a wife and mother I have struggled with the poor choices I made, my lack of love and compassion for both my spouse and our daughters. I grieved over the death of my father, the ensuing changes in my mother’s life and how that made life more complex. I witnessed divisions and strife in our church. I became aware of the trauma one of my family members suffered at the hands of a supposed “man of God.” I saw this same family member walk away from the church and begin a self-destructive path of rebellion against God and self-indulgent behavior. During this period I sought counsel from a licensed counselor and was told I was “mercy gone wild.” I learned about boundaries and letting go of many of the dreams I had for myself and my family. I was regularly building coffins, throwing my dreams inside, nailing them shut and burying them.

Life slowly began to be less chaotic, but things were, and still are, hard. Recently, we learned our youngest daughter has a brain tumor. In addition to that she has been having a multiplicity of symptoms such as numbness, pain, tremors, dizziness and nausea. To this day, those things are still unresolved and the doctors do not believe her symptoms to be related to the tumor, which is very small and which, for now, they are keeping an eye on. This is just another straw on that proverbial camel’s back that makes the load heavier and heavier.

In my desire to draw closer to God, He lead me to see there is only one way to do this. I must take Him completely at His word. During that time a month ago, I had a three day period of a sadness so deep, I did not know how God was going to bring me out of it. I was hopeless. Hopeless for our country, hopeless for my daughter, hopeless for those who think they know truth, but are wearing blinders, hopeless for so many young people who have walked away from the church and from Him, and hopeless for myself. I never felt so completely lost in the darkness. I cried. No, I sobbed. I could not stop sobbing. Hour after hour I wondered how I could make so many tears.

Finally, when the tears began to dry up, I heard God’s voice telling me, “Get your journal and tell me what you know.”

This is the first step to finding Him in the deep darkness. Remind yourself of who God is.

Learn Who God is, and then Tell Him

(excerpt take from my journal - Bible verses added after)

Lord, I know Your truth. Your word gives me that truth and it never changes.

Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.
— John 17:17 (NASB)
The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of our God stands forever.
— Isaiah 40:8 (NASB)

I know Your lovingkindness is everlasting.

But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting for those who fear Him,
And His justice to the children’s children,
— Psalm 103:17 (NASB)

I know Your mercies are new every morning.

For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for a lifetime;
Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning.
— Psalm 30:5 (NASB)

I know Your grace is matchless.

For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.
— John 1:16 (NASB)

You have freely given, so I might freely receive.

Now we have not received the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God.
— 1 Corinthians 2:12 (NASB)

You have bridged the gap between our sin laden world and your perfect heaven. I know You gave us Jesus. It was Your plan that He be the perfect sacrifice.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life.
— John 3:16 (NASB)

I know all have sinned and fall short of Your glory.

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
— Romans 3:23 (NASB)

I know the punishment for sin is death.

For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
— Romans 6:23 (NASB)

I know, whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

for “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
— Romans 10:13 (NASB)

I know it is not by my own power and strength, but because of your mercy, that you saved me.

For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;
9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
— Ephesians 2:8-9 (NASB)

I know you have removed my sin as far as the east is from the west.

As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our wrongdoings from us.
— Psalm 103:12 (NASB)

Every truth, I believe about God is backed by scripture and these are just a few of them. You could do whole studies on the attributes and characteristics of our Almighty Redeemer. It is important when we are in the darkness to go back to what we know is true and to cling to it.

Next week we will look at the next phase of our journey as we walk in the dark. Thank you for following along.

Tended Dreams

This is a fiction piece by Amy D. Christensen

So many coffins! Why were there so many coffins?

Image by Lisa Yount from Pixabay 

Image by Lisa Yount from Pixabay

The One who stood beside me looked out over the vast area filled with every manner of death box imaginable. There were pine boxes, reminding me of the Old West, golden sarcophagi, dark cherry wood polished until it shimmered and many, many more. It would take days to count how many coffins filled the valley: literally a valley of dry bones. Here and there I could see beings of light, I assumed were angles, tending to the coffins.

“Who are they,” I asked looking up into his dark eyes.

They were brown, but seemed to be edged with golden light; a light that came from deep within His heart.

He smiled at me, though I could tell there was a deep sadness behind that smile. “Not who, but what?”

“I do not understand.”

Image by Jackson David from Pixabay 

Image by Jackson David from Pixabay

He took my hand, squeezing it firmly. It felt as though just a bit of strength tingled from his fingers into mine filling my whole body with warmth. It was as though someone had just draped a warm blanket over my shoulders.

“These coffins hold dreams.”

“Dreams?”

“Come. Let’s walk and I will show you.”

I was afraid. I had always been afraid to be around death. I never liked going to funerals and walking through grave yards was fine during the day when the sky was blue, but when the sun went down and the mists began to creep along the ground, no thank you! I planted my feet firmly.

He turned to look at me. “It will be alright. You are with me, and I would never let anything hurt you. Not any more.”

His eyes took in the depth of my soul. It was then I knew. He knew everything about me and yet, it was completely obvious how much He loved me.

“Come.” He smiled again and I let myself be pulled along.

We moved in among the elongated boxes and I couldn’t help but admire how intricately beautiful some of them were. Many were very simple and completely unadorned, while others had been carved and embellished with decorative swirls and etchings, some of which looked to be letters in various languages.

He stopped before a dark box whose wood was so polished and smooth I could see myself in it.

Image by composita from Pixabay

Image by composita from Pixabay

“This one belongs to a man who took great pride in his work. He built his own business from the ground up. When he met his wife, he knew he wanted to have a family. He wanted many children, hoping that a few of them would one day carry on the family business. His wife died in child birth. He never remarried and eventually sold the business.”

He moved me along to another box a little ways away. This one was much more ornate than the last one. It was covered in beautiful scroll work.

Image by JamesDeMers from Pixabay 

Image by JamesDeMers from Pixabay

“This one belongs to a woman who married young. She had dreams of becoming an archeologist, but her husband said her place was in the home with the children. She had a brood, and when there were no more children to be birthed, her husband left her for a younger woman.”

“How terrible!”

The next coffin he stopped before was smaller. Not the size of a child, but not a full adult either. It was white and decorated with pretty pink and yellow flowers.

“The girl whose dreams reside here was only 16 when a drunk driver took away her ability to walk. She wanted to be a dancer hoping that sad people would find joy in the movement of music and dance.”

He stretched out his hand and rubbed the top of the pretty box, as if remembering.

I felt my eyes sting with tears. He began to walk again and I pulled my hand from His.

“Why are you showing me these things?”

He did not speak. I could see tears in his own eyes. He held out his hand.

Once again, I placed mine in his and we walked for a while in silence.

The next box we stopped in front of was rather simple and unassuming. In fact as we had walked it occurred to me there were many coffins like this. They weren’t plain and simple like an Old West pine box, nor were they richly adorned. They were, in fact plain and unnoticeable.

“Why are there so many like these?”

He looked out over the valley, turning his head from one side to another. “These are the dreams of mothers for their children; wives for their marriages; grandmothers for their grandchildren. As is so often the case these go unnoticed. Mothers go about their lives, most often never asking for the help they need, the desires that go unmet and the thanks they so deserve. Unlike many, who have one major dream of what they want to do with their lives, mothers, wives and grandmothers often have the most dreams and, as you can tell by these coffins, so very many of them must be laid to rest.”

Image by Richard Mcall from Pixabay 

Image by Richard Mcall from Pixabay

“Well, if that’s the case, why aren’t their coffins more ornate and noticeable? Why are they so plain?”

“Because their desires were simple. They wanted their children to grow up without damage and problems. They wanted their husbands to talk to them. They wanted their families to get along…simple things really, yet so important. Unfortunately, very few take into account the dreams of a mother. They love her and are glad for her, but they rarely get to know the woman that she is underneath all that she does: the writer, the singer, the artist, the leader, the warrior. So very many dreams that had to die.”

“But why?” I was beginning to feel upset. “Why should they have to give up their dreams?”

“Because they knew what was really at stake. They knew that the most important part of life was relationship. They were willing to give up everything else, so that relationships with their children, husbands and grandchildren could continue. You see life is not about the dreams that come true, it is about the relationships that are built, or abandoned, along the way.”

He stepped away from the box. “Come. I have one last thing to show you.”

Again, he took my hand and once again I felt the mild tingle of His strength moving me forward and warming me.

The sight we came to next took my breath away. A sea of tiny, infant sized coffins, each adorned with a small, flickering candle, floated silently on a huge glassy lake. The light on each coffin produced a shimmering reflection in the surrounding water. It was all at once beautiful and horrifying.

Image by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay

Image by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay

He sensed my discomfort and putting his arm around my shoulders, pulled me close.

“Even a baby has dreams. In the world as you know it, when babies are born they do not have language, but the truth is, all that are conceived have the imprint of heavenly language. It is in this realm that they dream. They dream of small things, but still they are dreams. Smiles, green grass, blue skies, their mother’s face, their father’s laugh, the feeling of human touch, but alas, none of these dear ones ever got to realize their dreams.”

I gasped, as the sea of coffins seemed to go on forever. Tears slipped down my face.

He turned me towards him.

“You have dreams too. I showed you all these things because I want you to know that each and every dream you have is important to me. Each and every dream that you must give up, I will know about and I will tend to. That is how much I love you!”

* * * * * * *

Often, when I write a piece like this, I feel it is God giving me a way to express my own feelings and thoughts, but in the form of a story. An allegory tells a story in the form of imagery. I hope that the picture I painted above shows you, that Jesus loves you with an everlasting love and that every single dream you have achieved, and every single desire you have had to give up, He is aware of and He holds in the palm of His hand. I write, because I need to remember this, and maybe you do too.

You are deeply loved!