Wonderful Words of Life: Come!

Fatigue, it is like an old friend; you know the kind, the one who lingers in your house when you really wish they would head home and give you your space. I don’t know about you, but my husband coined the phrase “existential fatigue”, and it often seems appropriate. Existential fatigue is fatigue to the very cellular level. In other words, the fatigue of existence.

Before you start to worry, being existentially fatigued does not mean we are looking for a way to end our lives. My spouse and I struggle, but not to the point where we are ready to throw away what the God of the Universe has given us. We are just very tired. Tired of things being hard. Tired of always having to struggle. Tired of family issues, church issues, national issues, and issues on a global scale.

Existence is akin to a caterpillar firmly encased in its self bound cocoon coming in to the knowledge of its imminent change and beginning to feel the need to stretch, and reach, and grow, and fly. Perhaps the caterpillar turning into a butterfly at some point begins to panic, recognizing the tiny, dark, cave which lovingly embraces it is now holding it too tightly. It must move on. It must move to its glorified state. It must become exactly what it was meant to be.

Image by sparkielyle from Pixabay

When we become Christ followers we become attuned to the disconnect that the world has from its creator. This is due to sin. A once perfect world, became imperfect when Adam and Eve believed the lies of the serpent, and not the truths of the Creator. Immediately, the created began to place itself above the One who created. The result was not just evil in the world we live, but the ripple effect of that evil: hatred, lies, selfishness, perversion, murder, adultery, manipulation and toxic behavior. The list is long, and all of this lends to that existential fatigue that we feel.

Paul understood this dichotomy we feel; this pull to stay and live life here, and the pull to go and be with Jesus, to get out of our tiny cocoon and soar.

Image by Steve Crowhurst from Pixabay

“21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
22 But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose.
23 But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better;
24 yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake. ”

— Philippians 1:21-24 (NASB)

As a Christian is it wrong for us to feel existentially fatigued? I don’t think so. In fact, I think Jesus knew we would all get to those points where we just felt we couldn’t go on. That brings us to our Wonderful Words of Life.

“28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.””

— Matthew 11:28-30 (NASB 1995)

I believe I have talked about this on my faith page before (see Our Need for Rest - Part 1), but Scripture is living and active. It never grows old or tiresome. A passage we have looked at for years may suddenly leap off the page, grab us around the neck and shake us furiously. When this happens we must ask ourselves, why this, why now? Let’s take a closer look.

Come to Me - Jesus isn’t telling us to go to a sleep therapist, a personal trainer, or a counselor, He is calling us to come to Him. Why is this important? Because, not only does Christ know us better than any other living soul on the planet, He is the One who has the power and ability to do something about what we are going through.

…all who are weary and heavy-laden - That pretty much sums up where most of the world is. We are existentially fatigued and overwhelmed by all the burdens living in this fleshly world places upon us.

,,,and I will give you rest. - Jesus tells us straight He will give us rest. He is the One who can make all the difference in our lives.

Image by 2211438 from Pixabay

Take my yoke upon you… - What does Christ mean here. We aren’t oxen are we, that we should have an actual physical yoke placed upon us? No, however, Christ is making an important point. It is easier for a pair of oxen to plow a field in tandem, than for one ox to plow alone. The yoke is a necessary connector between the pair of beasts. Without it, one or both oxen would simple walk away, or just stand still, stubbornly refusing to do the work.

…learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, - When farmers train a new or younger ox to plow a field they will put in in a yoke with an older or more experienced team member. The young, inexperienced ox learns how to work with the older ox making their burden much easier, and their job much more efficient.

Jesus wants us to learn from Him. He is a gentle and kind master. He is not a know it all (though he does know it all). He never makes us feel less than by berating us and whipping us because we stupidly keep trying to go a different direction. He gently shows us the ropes. He speaks to us and reminds us of our value and worth.

…and you will find rest for your souls… - By working with Christ, leaning into His sufferings, learning to hear His voice and believing what He says, we will find rest for our souls. What wonderful words are these, that my existentially tired being will find rest, right down to the molecular and spiritual level,

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

For My yoke is easy and My burden light. I don’t know about you, but I get the feeling that Christ is actually bearing more of the load than we are. He brings us into sync with Him, not so we can go out into the world to walk alone, but so we can go out with Him at our side. This burden of being a Christ follower becomes much easier when we are yoked with our Savior.

If you are feeling existentially tired, realize you are not alone. All your fellow Christ followers get it, but even more important, our Savior knows exactly what we need. When Jesus says, “Come,” go!

When Darkness Comes - Wrap Up

We have been doing a series on when darkness comes into our lives. Darkness can be anything that you encounter that causes you to struggle, doubt or grow weary. From the very beginning we learned that darkness is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact when we read the creation account at the beginning of Genesis we learn that God created the darkness for our benefit. However, there are times when it seems that darkness has moved in to our lives like some sort of dank, slimy giant who is determined to make his new home with us. It seems that life will never know the light again and that the only thing we will know is that musty smell of wormwood.

Image by Rudy and Peter Skitterians from Pixabay

For this final post, I just want to review some of the things we learned over the last few weeks. It is rather apropos that in the midst of doing this series, I was blasted with a health crisis. It has stretched me to my limits. I know there are so many people who have had much more difficult health problems, but it is the incessant illness and the ensuing steps of trying to get things diagnosed, going to doctors, urgent cares and even the emergency room, still to no avail. The waiting; the not knowing; the feeling of hopelessness that things will ever get any better wears a person down.

The very thing that kept me going through all of this, were the lessons I had been learning previously when I was going through more of a mental and emotional crisis. That is what I have shared with you in this series. The verse that has kept coming back to me during the non-stop coughing, long nights of wheezing and not being able to sleep, and the not having answers is this:

“Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.””

— Psalm 27:14 (NASB)

All to often waiting is exactly that, waiting. It has more of a passive feel to it. There are times, where that is exactly what we need to do. However, many of the verses in the Bible that use the word wait, have an active voice. Waiting, involves, anticipation, expectation and even an element of seeking. Waiting is not for wimps! Why do you think the psalmist went on to say, “Be strong and let your heart take courage…”? He knew that waiting requires strength. I will leave that for another lesson. Today, I just want to review what we can take away from the series, When Darkness Comes.

1 - God created the darkness - The very first lesson in this series explored the truth, God created the darkness. While dark and light are no different to Him, He knew that our world and the people He created would need the darkness and its benefits.

2 - Darkness became associated with being bad when Satan challenged God’s authority - Remember, not only did Satan challenge God’s authority, but he was angry. In his anger he attacked God’s creation by tempting Adam and Eve to sin. It was after this event that the darkness became a place to hide and cover sinful deeds.

3 - God is in the darkness - No matter what dark days we are going through, God is over, under, around and within our darkness. The darkness is as light to Him, so there are no worries that He won’t be able to find us. He is right here with us.

4 - Being in the dark does not mean we did something wrong - God is sovereign and it is in this Lordship over all that He determines when and where we walk, and whether that way will be in the light or in the dark.

5 - When we are walking in the dark we need to remind ourselves of who God is - This is the first step in being able to dwell in the dark place. We have to remember who God is. A good way to do this is to write in a journal, but that is not the only way. Writing, singing, reading all help us to get back to the core truths in scripture about who God says he is.

6 - When we are walking in the dark we need to remind ourselves of who we are - We tend to put on false faces when we are going through difficulties. We tend to not want others to see how we really feel, or what we are really thinking. In order to dwell in the dark place, and even flourish in that darkness, we need to be honest about our feelings, and who God’s word tells us we are.

7 - There is a time when we need to reveal our true hearts - In other words, there are times we need to be starkly honest with God. Yes, He already knows what we are thinking and feeling, but we need to acknowledge these things out loud. Being able to vent our true hearts before Him is an important part of being able to survive a dark time.

8 - Growth, in a dark place, is directly related to letting God’s truth meet the raw edges of our ragged emotions - The scriptures are full of people with real emotions. David, Abraham, Moses, Paul and others didn’t just bring us the inspired words of God, but His truth, seasoned with their very own emotions. So much of scripture is meant for helping us deal, temper and work through our intense emotions. Letting His truth touch our emotions allows His Spirit to bring light to all of our dark places.

9 - Thanksgiving is essential to the growth process - There is a reason God said to give thanks at all times and in everything give thanks. Gratitude is the next step in allowing the darkness to empower, rather than overpower us.

10 - Dark places cannot remain dark when God’s piercing happens within our hearts - The process of going through these steps as we walk in darkness has the ultimate outcome of light coming in to the dark place. Truth, while not always pleasant, will always reveal. Obedience to God’s movement in the dark place will always open small windows that will let the light in.

I hope you enjoyed this series on When Darkness Comes and that by sharing my own process of walking in a dark place you will be better able to get through your own times of darkness.

Thanks for following along, on the blog. Have a great weekend.

When Darkness Comes - Part 5: Finding God in the Darkness

This post will be rather long and contains aspects of my own experience in the darkness, but I share the details to help you understand the process.

We have been learning about the darkness. We have seen its beginning; created by an Almighty God for the benefit of His creation. Darkness was not meant to be bad. It was not meant to hide evil and torment the sinner, but our unseen enemy wanted to make the good bad. From the moment he became enamored with his beauty and too proud to place himself under the authority of the divine creator he has chosen to manipulate that which is good, right and true.

Image by Brigitte makes custom works from your photos, thanks a lot from Pixabay

If I came to you and said, “I am going through a very dark time,” wouldn’t you assume I was struggling? Wouldn’t you pray for the light to come back into my life, so I might once again be walking in the blessedness of my Savior’s love? Why do we assume, darkness is not the place we are meant to walk? How did we get to the point where struggle and disappointment in life is thought to be in our lives because of something we did or did not do? Why do we embrace the light, the sun, the beautiful blue skies and gentle breezy days, but not the night, the dark, the gray lumbering clouds over a storm tossed sea? Isn’t all of it allowed by our Heavenly Father? Doesn’t every circumstance that comes into our lives come first through the gentle and loving hands of our risen Lord?

“I form light and create darkness;
I make well-being and create calamity;
I am the Lord, who does all these things.”

— Isaiah 45:7 (ESV)

I will be the first to admit, I do not like this truth, but truth it is. The scripture is full of God’s truth. We are not allowed to take one truth, but not the other. We do have a free will and we can dislike some of the truths that are in the Bible, but that does not change the fact that they are the truths put forth by a holy and perfect God. Part of the key to being able to accept God’s truth is to really get to know Him. Many people read one verse and decide, God is fickle, or angry, or malevolent, but they are not seeing the entire picture. Just as we take time to get to know the person we fall in love with, falling in love with God takes time and a willingness to trust.

Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay

I want to take this part of my series on When Darkness Comes, slowly. These are the things we need to understand, and know with the very core of our being. This is where the Holy Spirit makes effective the work that Jesus did on the cross. This is the time when our head knowledge, must become heart knowledge.

My Experience

About a month ago, I was having a particularly difficult time. I have long struggled with my self image, often feeling worthless and useless. Over the last 34 years as a wife and mother I have struggled with the poor choices I made, my lack of love and compassion for both my spouse and our daughters. I grieved over the death of my father, the ensuing changes in my mother’s life and how that made life more complex. I witnessed divisions and strife in our church. I became aware of the trauma one of my family members suffered at the hands of a supposed “man of God.” I saw this same family member walk away from the church and begin a self-destructive path of rebellion against God and self-indulgent behavior. During this period I sought counsel from a licensed counselor and was told I was “mercy gone wild.” I learned about boundaries and letting go of many of the dreams I had for myself and my family. I was regularly building coffins, throwing my dreams inside, nailing them shut and burying them.

Image by Rob van der Meijden from Pixabay

Life slowly began to be less chaotic, but things were, and still are, hard. Recently, we learned our youngest daughter has a brain tumor. In addition to that she has been having a multiplicity of symptoms such as numbness, pain, tremors, dizziness and nausea. To this day, those things are still unresolved and the doctors do not believe her symptoms to be related to the tumor, which is very small and which, for now, they are keeping an eye on. This is just another straw on that proverbial camel’s back that makes the load heavier and heavier.

In my desire to draw closer to God, He lead me to see there is only one way to do this. I must take Him completely at His word. During that time a month ago, I had a three day period of a sadness so deep, I did not know how God was going to bring me out of it. I was hopeless. Hopeless for our country, hopeless for my daughter, hopeless for those who think they know truth, but are wearing blinders, hopeless for so many young people who have walked away from the church and from Him, and hopeless for myself. I never felt so completely lost in the darkness. I cried. No, I sobbed. I could not stop sobbing. Hour after hour I wondered how I could make so many tears.

Finally, when the tears began to dry up, I heard God’s voice telling me, “Get your journal and tell me what you know.”

This is the first step to finding Him in the deep darkness. Remind yourself of who God is.

Learn Who God is, and then Tell Him

Photo Rebecca Trumbull.

(excerpt take from my journal - Bible verses added after)

Lord, I know Your truth. Your word gives me that truth and it never changes.

“Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.”

— John 17:17 (NASB)

“The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of our God stands forever.”

— Isaiah 40:8 (NASB)

I know Your lovingkindness is everlasting.

“But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting for those who fear Him,
And His justice to the children’s children,”

— Psalm 103:17 (NASB)

I know Your mercies are new every morning.

“For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for a lifetime;
Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning.”

— Psalm 30:5 (NASB)

I know Your grace is matchless.

“For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.”

— John 1:16 (NASB)

You have freely given, so I might freely receive.

“Now we have not received the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God.”

— 1 Corinthians 2:12 (NASB)

You have bridged the gap between our sin laden world and your perfect heaven. I know You gave us Jesus. It was Your plan that He be the perfect sacrifice.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life.”

— John 3:16 (NASB)

I know all have sinned and fall short of Your glory.

“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

— Romans 3:23 (NASB)

I know the punishment for sin is death.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

— Romans 6:23 (NASB)

I know, whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

“for “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.””

— Romans 10:13 (NASB)

I know it is not by my own power and strength, but because of your mercy, that you saved me.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;
9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

— Ephesians 2:8-9 (NASB)

I know you have removed my sin as far as the east is from the west.

“As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our wrongdoings from us.”

— Psalm 103:12 (NASB)

Every truth, I believe about God is backed by scripture and these are just a few of them. You could do whole studies on the attributes and characteristics of our Almighty Redeemer. It is important when we are in the darkness to go back to what we know is true and to cling to it.

Next week we will look at the next phase of our journey as we walk in the dark. Thank you for following along.

Be Encouraged! Remembering God.

I am really struggling with so many different things, that I am not sure what to write about. Being a faith based blogger means that many people will simply overlook my blog, because they have no interest in anything having to do with religion. I can understand that, because my husband watches a plethora of YouTube videos on survival, boxing and other “manly” types of topics. He has no interest in fashion, so why would he stop and read a fashion blog. The same is true for faith based topics. Why would a person stop to read a chapter in the Bible when they have no interest in what is written there? Why would a person read a cook book, who could care less about learning how to cook?

Image by James Lee from Pixabay

As Christians, I think a lot of us are struggling with how to respond to the goings on in our world right now. I know I am. How do I instill courage when we are faced with people dying from a virus that we still know so little about? How do I know the difference between what is real news and what is made up just to get a reaction? How do I talk about race and injustice, when what I say might be taken as racist or unjust? These are all questions I have asked myself over the last few months.

I know I am just a small blog with only about 250 subscribers. I don’t do much with affiliates and retailers to promote products and make money. Sure making money would be great, but the purpose of my blog has never been about making money. The purpose was to encourage. I think we all could use a big dose of encouragement right about now. I realize I won’t reach a lot of people and that is okay, but maybe I can reach you. Maybe you need to hear something I am going to say today, or maybe this is just God’s way of enabling me to cope.

What do I do when I am upset? I write. Here are a few things I know I need to hear right now, and maybe you do too.

God is in control.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

This may seem a bit unsettling to you. You might be thinking, well, if He is in control then why is there so much bad stuff going on? However, the facts are this, God is bigger than all of us and all that is going on. He is the Creator. He formed the world from nothing and spoke with just a few words the entirety of the natural world. When he was finished with all of that, He decided the natural world needed a caretaker and He created man and woman out of dust. Yes, you heard that right, dust. After they were formed into what we now know as our human bodies, He breathed life into them. Just a simple breath gave us life. If you think an almighty being like that doesn’t have this all figured out already…well, you have a few things to learn.

“29 Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.
30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
31 So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.”

— Matthew 10:29-31 (NASB)

You are known.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

It is very easy to forget this in the bumbling chaos that we call life. When you are young, you have your whole life ahead of you, with countless opportunities. When you become an adult maybe you decide to marry and have children and you suddenly have more to worry about than just yourself. Life becomes a tangled dance of crazy schedules, conflict, and unmet expectations. The things you might have learned as a child, somehow, disappear along the way and you suddenly feel like you are handling all of this alone, and you have forgotten who you are, but God knows you. He has been there from the moment you were conceived. In fact the psalmist states,

“Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.”

— Psalm 139:16 (NASB)

God doesn’t get weary.

Image by Hebi B. from Pixabay 

I don’t know about you, but I am tired; tired of reading and hearing about the virus; tired of hearing people argue about politics and social issues; tired of having to be careful everywhere we go; tired of not being able to go see our extended family or get together with friends. I may be tired, but the one who holds my hand and hems me in behind and before, is not.

“ 28 Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.”

— Isaiah 40:28-31 (ESV)

God is always present.

Image by Sarah Richter from Pixabay

God is always with us. He doesn’t wander off to get a drink, or take a nap, or go do His laundry. He is a being that is both eternal and omnipresent. He is not confined by space or time, nor influenced by the mistakes of the past or the foreboding of the future. He is constant and His presence is with us both continually and continuously.

“9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.””

— Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

The above verse is one of my favorites. I love that God reminds Joshua ( and us), that it is a command to be strong and courageous. We are also commanded to not be frightened or dismayed. The word dismay means to lose our courage. God then gives us the reason we are not to be fearful or lack courage, but strong and courageous, because He is with us wherever we go.

“17 The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.”

— Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV)

The following quote is from My Utmost for His Highest:

“Having the reality of God’s presence is not dependent on our being in a particular circumstance or place, but is only dependent on our determination to keep the Lord before us continually. Our problems arise when we refuse to place our trust in the reality of His presence.”

— Oswald Chambers - My Utmost for His Highest - July 20

If we do not believe in the reality of His presence, we will never know that His is present.

God doesn’t change.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I am often in need of hearing this. With life all around us rapidly shifting and changing, it is good to know that He is a constant in our lives. Our God isn’t changed by pandemics, natural disasters, social unrest, war, political elections or upheaval.

“8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”

— Hebrews 13:8 (NASB)

“19 God will hear and answer them—
Even the one who sits enthroned from of old— Selah.
With whom there is no change,
And who do not fear God.”

— Psalm 55:19 (NASB)

“14 “And to Him was given dominion,
Glory and a kingdom,
That all the peoples, nations and men of every language
Might serve Him.
His dominion is an everlasting dominion
Which will not pass away;
And His kingdom is one
Which will not be destroyed.”

— Daniel 7:14 (NASB)

I hope that these verses have reminded you of how loved you are and that by following Christ, you are standing on a foundation that is unshakable.

Thanks for taking a few minutes to stop by the blog. Have a good day. Keep laughing and keep looking up.

My Mind, His Mind

I am taking a break this week from our study of Romans 8, to talk about fear. There is a lot of fear going around right now because of our current circumstances. Knowing there is a sneaky virus out there that could, in fact kill us, is just a bit unnerving. I know many of us are trying to be positive and continue on as if everything is normal, but let’s face it, this is way beyond normal. Not only are there fears over the possibility of contracting COVID19, or someone we know and love getting it, but the economic repercussions are astronomical and I think are going to affect our country for a while.

I know of many people, including our own family who have been affected by the virus economically. Small businesses, like the one my older daughter has are taking a big hit. My younger daughter, who had to make the transition from in class college to all online college, also lost her serving job, which was a big chunk of her income. We are not alone. I know of others, even in health care who have had their hours cut back or have been let go all together, because their specialties are not needed right now. Will everyone have jobs to return to once this is over? Who knows.

What about our country as a whole. We have had it easy for so long and as much as the government says they are going to help with unemployment, stimulus checks and so on, where exactly are they getting all that money from? So many, many questions and we aren’t even past the point yet where we can let our guard down with regards to the actual virus.

So how do we keep from getting overwhelmed? I’d like to share a few things that help me when I am going through tough times. I hope they will help you as well.

Image by Ebowalker from Pixabay 

1 - Feel the fear.

God gave us emotions and they are all good, since He is the one who created them. Fear, anger, joy, sadness, all have their place in our lives for us to be healthy individuals. When my father passed away fourteen years ago, I had to go through the grieving process. The best thing to do when encountering emotions we don’t like is allow yourself to feel them. I have used this analogy on the blog before, but think of emotions in terms of a blanket. When you start feeling an emotion like sadness or fear or anger, take that blanket and wrap yourself up in it. Allow yourself to feel afraid, sad or angry. Do this for a few minutes. If it helps, take an actual blanket and wrap yourself up in it. After a few minutes, take the blanket off, fold the blanket up, and move on to the next thing. Think of folding the blanket as if you are packing that fear or sadness away. You can always take it out again later, but allowing yourself to feel it, experience it and then pack it away, helps you to process more volatile emotions in small bits.

Image by Susanne Pälmer from Pixabay 

2 - Exercise.

I have noticed a lot more people out walking since the start of Ohio’s shelter in place order. Moms, dads and kids are all out walking trails at the park or just walking the neighborhood. This is so good for us. It not only serves the purpose of getting our heart rates up, it allows us to breath fresh air and get out of the house. I know for many of us, this time of year can be tricky because of the weather. We have rain, gray overcast skies and wind more often than sun and that can make getting out for a walk much more difficult. If that is the case try doing some indoor exercises as a family. Play a vigorous game of Simon Says or follow the leader all through the house.

Image by Kerstin Riemer from Pixabay

3 - Schedule alone time.

With social distancing in place, this might seem strange, but hello, we are now at home all the time with our kids or with our spouses. If that doesn’t drive you crazy, nothing will. It is especially important if you are an introvert or someone who needs a regular routine. My husband thinks that being home means I am available to talk to, look at something on YouTube or hang out with whenever he wants. That makes it a little difficult for this introvert and writer. I spent the last two days trying to get two writing pieces finished as I had a deadline. I got the job done, but it is definitely harder without a routine.

Mom’s you need that alone time, whether it is to take a long bath, read your Bible or watch a show on Netflix. If dad is home, ask him to hang with the kids so you can have some sanity time.

Image by Peggy Choucair from Pixabay 

4 - Make memories.

A friend of my daughter’s and mine has been using this time to schedule special events with her kids. She has been sharing her ideas on Facebook and it looks like they are having a blast. She even turned the house into a Cruise ship, complete with boarding passes, dining assignments, entertainment and of course fun foods. What you do with your family during this time has the potential for very good memories, even if it is something as simple as a game night.

Image by Uwe Jacobs from Pixabay 

5 - Fill your mind from the right fountain.

Reading article after article about the virus, our economic situation and so on is not good for you. There are plenty of other good things to fill your mind with. Music, books, fun shows, all can keep your spirits up and keep you centered on the positive. Being thankful is a must during this time as well.

I’d like to leave you with an old hymn. I remember singing this song in my classes when I was at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago, IL. Most classes started with a song and a prayer. I had one particular teacher who loved this song and had us sing it quite often. When I came across it the other night, I realized just how perfect it is for our current situation. Enjoy!

May the Mind of Christ My Savior (Lyrics by Katie Barclay Wilkinson, Music A. Cyril Gould)

1

May the mind of Christ my Savior
Live in me from day to day,
By His love and pow’r controlling
  All I do and say.

2

May the Word of Christ dwell richly
In my heart from hour to hour,
So that all may see I triumph
  Only through His pow’r.

3

May the peace of Christ my Savior
Rule my life in every thing,
That I may be calm to comfort
  Sick and sorrowing.

4

May the love of Jesus fill me,
As the waters fill the sea;
Him exalting, self abasing,
  This is victory.

5

May I run the race before me,
Strong and brave to face the foe,
Looking only unto Jesus
  As I onward go.

6

May His beauty rest upon me
As I seek the lost to win,
And may they forget the channel,
  Seeing only Him.

Lessons from Loss

I’ve decided to take another week off, before getting back to my series on Godly traits. On Monday my daughter texted me that a woman from our former church had died unexpectedly. I was in shock. Mary was only a few years older than me. She had five grown children, a devoted husband and her first grandchild, a girl, whom she adored. She was dearly loved, not only by her immediate family, but by siblings and church family and friends. What really floored me, and many others, was the fact that last summer Mary had gone into the hospital with a lung infection. After months in the hospital and rehab, she seemed to get better. She got to go home and resume a somewhat normal life. Not long after life started having some semblance of normalcy, Mary lost her sister to cancer, this was just last month. Last week, Mary ended up, back in the hospital and Monday morning she died.

Sweeny family. Mary is in the middle with her husband Paul. My daughter took these pictures this past spring. Photo credit Rebecca Trumbull.

I felt myself questioning God. Why, Lord? Why? This was a beautiful woman; one of your sheep, who loved and gave and was gracious. She was a beautiful soul, inside and out. She loved her family and took others in as if they were part of the family. She exuded the peace that passes all understanding and I would often see her posting quotes from Ann VosKamp’s One Thousand Gifts on being thankful. The funny thing was, I didn’t really know Mary that well. We moved in different circles as our kids were growing up and while we went to the same church, we weren’t able to spend vast amounts of time together. However, I still feel this loss. It is as if in a galaxy full of stars, Mary’s shown so brightly, that the burning out of that star affected the whole universe.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I am not sharing this with you to look for sympathy. This was a tragic and unexpected loss, but what I wanted to do was use these musings as a branch from which to tie a rope, take a leap, swing out and fall into the river of God’s grace.

How do we deal with these things? How do we get past the shaking of the fist towards the sky, to the questioning why, to the acceptance, to the choice to believe that He is good, no matter what, to the final step of lifting our hands in praise, adoration and thanksgiving? Two words come to mind which I have used on the blog before, baby steps.

Image by Barbara Jackson from Pixabay

A baby does not learn to walk immediately. It is a process. They reach, they scoot, they rock, they roll, they crawl, they grab, they pull themselves up, they move around the furniture and eventually they let go and take those first steps. Those first steps aren’t perfect, but they are full of enthusiasm. When we are new in our relationship with Christ we are full of enthusiasm. We want to tell the world what He has done, not only for us as individuals, but for the whole world. We want to share the good news that Jesus loves the unlovely, rescues the drowning, lifts up the cripple and fully redeems that which was completely lost.

Then life happens. We experience disappointment, pain, heartbreak and loss. If we are being honest with ourselves we do not like these things and many of us probably thought when we came to Christ that it was going to be smooth sailing. How very wrong we were. If anything, it seems, at least for some, that we are being shot at by the biggest guns available on a US battleship. Worse yet, we might be getting hammered by friendly fire, while well intended, completely misses the mark and wounds us instead of helping us out.

So how do we approach loss without losing our faith? How do we endure pain without giving up hope? How do we continue to walk when we are clearly wounded and would rather lay down and die?

One baby step at a time.

Baby Step 1 - Shaking fists and questions.

Image by Niek Verlaan from Pixabay

God is much bigger than we are. He created us and He knows our frame is but dust. As the Creator he manipulated that dust, breathing life into it. Don’t ever think, He doesn’t get it. He most certainly knows our weaknesses, our pit falls and our innermost feelings. You might not be literally shaking your fist at Him, but He knows what you are thinking on the inside. Sometimes it is okay to get mad, to raise our hands, not in praise, but in frustration, anger and pain. The key is to not stay there. It is okay to say:

I don’t get it.

It’s not fair.

Why? Why? Why?

I don’t like you right now?

It hurts and you let it happen.

That is exactly how I felt about Mary’s death. She was a vibrant woman and God let her die. I couldn’t help thinking, there are thousands of others, suffering with debilitating illnesses, pain and complete loss of ability to remember their own families or even how to use the bathroom. Why not take one of them? Why not relieve someone else of their burden? But He didn’t. He took Mary.

It felt wrong to have those thoughts and feelings, but they are real, visceral, but real and doesn’t God know that? He gave His own Son to suffer and die. He knows loss. He knows pain. Jesus knows loneliness and abandonment.

This is an absolutely acceptable part of grief. Whether your loss is the death of a loved one, an unfaithful partner, a divorce, a rebellious child, a parent going through Alzheimers, or the loss of a long time job, it is okay to feel anger, and it is okay to question why.

Baby Step 2 - Wear the blanket.

Image by Katrina_S from Pixabay

When my father died back in 2006, I distinctly remember walking in a fog. Life just seemed rather cloudy and my brain felt full of cotton. Often when we grieve we think that the best thing for us is to throw ourselves back into life, subduing the overwhelming sense of loss to a dull ache. In most cultures the process of grief is much more elaborate and loud.

In 1985 I spent a summer in Africa. During that time, I got to experience a true death wail. It was unnerving as a group, of mostly women, wept and wailed and cried over a baby who had tragically passed away. This was no reserved whispered ceremony. This was a loud progression of frenzied sobs and tears. They let their expression of the sadness they felt erupt into the still, dark night, like a mass of molten lava pouring out of a volcano.

While I do not expect that, here in our US of A, we are going to start doing a death wail, it is good to allow ourselves to feel grief. I truly believe wrapping yourself up in the blanket of grief every once in a while, helps you to heal faster. If putting on a real blanket helps with the symbolism, go ahead. However, you do it, take some time to feel the sadness and the pain. Cry, sob, moan and even wail. It’s okay. Then when you feel a bit of relief, put the blanket away and go live life. Eventually, you will find, you don’t need that blanket quite so often. Eventually, you will be able to put it away, all together.

Baby Step 3 - Choices.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

The best way to handle making choices during a time of grief is to choose slowly and thoughtfully. Don’t rashly give up your faith. Don’t decide to sell everything you have, join a commune and move to Tibet. Don’t start drinking. Don’t obsess on your loss. The greatest mistake we make when we are in the throes of grief is to think we are okay and we can handle this on our own. It is important to choose to take care of ourselves and to allow people to take care of us. We were not meant to be islands. We are supposed to live in community with others. In fact you might find there are others who have already been through the grief process before you. They can help, if you let them .

In addition, choose truth. Often we question whether God really loves us when someone or something has been taken away from us, but if we keep our eyes on scripture we will remember verses like:

“The Lord appeared to him from afar, saying, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness.”

— Jeremiah 31:3 (NASB)

“nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

— Romans 8:39 (NASB)

“Finally, brethren, rejoice, be made complete, be comforted, be like-minded, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.”

— 2 Corinthians 13:11 (NASB)

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,”

— Ephesians 2:4 (NASB)

God does love us and He always will. He will always be there for us, even in the midst of trial and grief.

Baby Step 4 - Take Action

Image by Olya Adamovich from Pixabay

Once we have worked through the emotions of anger, pain and sadness we can begin to, once again, take action. Action might start out with something simple like getting out of bed, taking a shower and getting dressed. Eventually, you might be able to go out and take a walk or meet a friend for coffee. Down the road, you may make it to church and then out to do something fun again. Your loved ones would not want you to stop living life. Besides it is in the choice to start living again, that God reveals His most precious and magnificent promises.

After I found out Mary was gone, I knew my sadness and shock was not as sharp as the edge on the sword her family was and is feeling right now, but I also felt that God had let me down. I prayed for Mary’s healing and He didn’t come through. That evening, my husband and I took a walk. I looked up at the expanse of night sky and heard His voice saying, “I’m still right here.”

Wow! That was just what I needed to hear. He is still right there and He always will be. He is there for us to lean on, pound on and depend on no matter what and knowing that is sometimes all we need. When I realize He is really all I need to get through, I am able to raise my hands in praise to Him and I can start remembering what I am thankful for.

My friend Mary was a Christian. She is with Jesus now. She is also with her mom and her sister who went before her. She left behind a legacy of love, and friendship for her family and her friends. The world is a more beautiful place because of her and I can be thankful that I knew her.

The Closet

The crying closet is a place for Ugly-Beautiful.*

I go into its darkness when I can no longer face the lostness.

I am done in; broken; spent; unable to bear one more straw.

It is in the crying closet He meets me.

He sits beside me in the chaos of hanging clothes, shoe boxes and puffy sleeping bags.

He holds my hand and lets me cry.

"I can't do this! I can't take it any more! The Ugly-Beautiful* is too ugly; too big; too overpowering! Where is the beautiful?"

When my sobs have turned to shivering gasps, He speaks.

He reminds me - He is the Ugly-Beautiful* - the God made man; the man made sin.

He knows there is no Ugly-Beautiful* that is too ugly, too big, or too overpowering.

He pulls my head against His shoulder and breaths...

....rest into my spentness;

....wholeness into my brokenness;

....beautiful into my ugly.

Written by Amy D. Christensen (8/13/12)

* The term Ugly-Beautiful is taken from One Thousand Gifts by Ann VosKamp.

Living in the Valley

It has been a few weeks since I wrote a faith post. My husband and I went on a vacation to visit places and people in Wisconsin. It was an enjoyable trip, but I didn't have much time to write. While it is fun and important to get away, the reality is that we live in the ordinary moments of life much more often than in the extraordinary moments. Who doesn't want to live on the mountaintop, but most of us spend the majority of our time trudging through the valley bottom. 

Let me say, the valley bottom is not the pristine, green grass, river filled valley. No, it is the valley that runs between two rugged, rocky cliffs and there is no water in sight for miles. Overhead the vultures are constantly circling, waiting for the valley dwellers to stumble and fall so they can begin to feed off their soon to be dead bodies. Not a pretty picture.

“When you have no vision from God, no enthusiasm left in your life, and no one watching and encouraging you, it requires the grace of Almighty God to take the next step in your devotion to Him, in the reading and studying of His Word, in your family life, or in your duty to Him. It takes much more of the grace of God, and a much greater awareness of drawing upon Him, to take that next step, than it does to preach the gospel.”

— Oswald Chambers - My Utmost for His Highest - March 6th

I love this thought from Oswald Chambers. He says it takes more grace and a more concentrated effort to draw on Him to take the next step in living the ordinary, mundane life, than to preach the gospel. What do you think? Do you agree? 

I have been finding life more and more challenging lately. My energy level is lower, I have physical issues that I never had to deal with before and I am continually reminded, not only of all the things I need to do, but also of all the things I have absolutely no control over. These factors all become part of life in the valley. Living here in the valley becomes a matter of trudging, not running, or skipping or even walking. Every once in a while, it becomes a crawl, a begging on hands and knees with the Master of this land to come and either let it end or bring about some sort of change. It was from this prostrate place that Oswald realized the thoughts he shared in the quote above. It truly does take the grace of the Almighty to take the next step.

Pixabay

I know, without a doubt, that some of you are in this place. Just like me, you go to bed so exhausted, that you pray God will take you in your sleep, so that you don't have to get up in the morning. Some of you, don't sleep. He doesn't even give you that. But, you do get up in the morning and you start all over again...the walk, the stumble, the crawl. You feel like you could use time away, a retreat, but there is no retreat. You feel like you could use a good, long cry, but you know the tears won't change anything, besides you are too busy, too tired. You feel like you want to run away, to leave everyone and everything behind, just go somewhere and become someone different, but you know that is not the right thing to do and you are just too tired. Day after day, drudgery after drudgery. This is life in our valley.

BUT GOD!

No enthusiasm?

BUT GOD!

No one noticing?

BUT GOD!

No encouragement?

BUT GOD!

“Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses;”

— 2 Corinthians 6:4 (NIV)

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

— Philippians 4:13 (NASB)

“I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
From where shall my help come?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, He who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade on your right hand.
6 The sun will not smite you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will protect you from all evil;
He will keep your soul.
8 The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in
From this time forth and forever.”

— Psalm 121 (NASB)

“Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.”

— Galatians 6:9 (NASB)

I know life can be overwhelming, but God is not overwhelmed by it. We've heard it before, but I need to hear it again. Peter walked on water, though the stormy waves raged all around, as long as he kept his eyes on Jesus. If you are down and out by life, look up. Jesus will always meet you exactly where you are at. 

Remember, we are all together in this valley.