A Year of Waiting - Respite

The word respite is a waiting word, but one that usually gives the idea of a welcome break. A respite is defined by Webster’s Online Dictionary as (noun) a period of temporary delay, an internal rest or relief; as (verb) to grant a temporary period of relief to, or to grant a respite to, or to put off or delay. A respite is a term also applied to giving a caregiver a break from caring for an ill loved one.

As I type this my husband and I are on, what I would call, a respite. We got away for the purpose of rest and relief. Although, I think a true respite would be to completely unplug, with no phone or internet, something that is rarely attained, even when we purpose to do it. However, just getting a change of scenery and getting outside can provide a similar benefit to a true respite.

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Doesn’t that picture make you want to get away? Ha, ha. Getting away is something both my spouse and I find cathartic to the chaos filled, fast paced and anxiety inducing lives we are often living. Even though we no longer have children at home, we live close to our girls, and in turn our grandsons. This is a wonderful thing and I count myself very blessed to have both of our grandsons in our lives and to be a part of helping our daughters and their significant others take care of and have input in their lives.

In addition to family my spouse’s job keeps him busy, and I have my blog and all the other responsibilities of maintaining a home, grocery shopping, making meals, laundry, the list goes on. As with most people we are also constantly bombarded by images, noise, and input in the form of news, social media, and everything else we have access to on the internet.

As I have in all the past posts on A Year of Waiting, I find a definite connection to our waiting on the Lord. So often, God brings circumstances into our lives to bring us into a waiting position. We are to wait for Him, whether it is for deliverance, justice, healing, rescue, hope, glory or perfection. Waiting is much less about what we are waiting for and more about who brought us to a place of waiting.

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The Old and New Testaments are full of examples of men and women who had to wait. Noah had to wait while building the ark for the actual flood, over 100 years of waiting. Abraham waited a lifetime for a son. Hannah waited for a child. The people of Israel waited 400 years before they were lead out of slavery from the Egyptians. Simeon waited his whole life for the One who would save Israel. Jesus waited approximately 30 years before starting his public ministry. Life is filled with waiting.

When we look closely at the word respite we see it is a waiting that is meant for good. Indeed, I believe that all waiting brought about by God’s orchestration is meant for our good. As I mentioned in my original post at the beginning of this year, Word for 2024: Wait, waiting can be to keep us safe, give us rest, or give us time to think through a decision or recover from a difficult circumstance or tragedy.

Unfortunately, finding a respite in these busy, chaos filled, and tragic times can be difficult. It really takes a choice and often a predetermined plan. Whether you need to find time to spend with God or time to regroup and reenergize, or time to grieve and heal, the best way to get a respite is to schedule it in just like you would a doctor’s appointment, a trip to the gym, or a visit with a friend.

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Don’t think of it so much in terms of quantity as in quality. An individual who is providing long term care for a sick or aging family member finds they are much better able to cope when they can just walk a way, even for a short time period. Whether it be 15 or 30 minutes for a walk outside, a two hour walk around the mall, or an entire weekend in a different location you can find respite in the smallest of changes and moments.

Also, recognize what might work for me, might not work for you. Not everyone likes the outdoors. I can actually sit out on our patio on a sunny day and feel like I am getting away from whatever struggle I am dealing with. Both my spouse and I love to take walks and hike, but not everyone does. The point is to find what works for you.

Respite is a type of waiting that is important for all of us to do. God made the Sabbath for our benefit, and for His glory, but it seems in this day and age, we have forgotten how to rest and be still, whether you believe the Sabbath is on Saturday or Sunday. God knew how restless a people we would be and also how fatigued we would become from our nonstop lifestyle.

“10 “Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.””

— Psalm 46:10 (NASB 1995)

“28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.””

— Matthew 11:28-30 (NASB 1995)

I hope you will find time for a respite, and find time to go to the Creator of your soul who truly knows how to give you rest.

Faith Topics: Why is it Necessary to Study the Bible?

Let’s face it, life is busy, especially if you are working, have children, or are involved in any sort of activities outside the home. People just have a lot to do these days. If I am a Christian and believe in eternal security (once saved, always saved) what’s the point of studying the Bible? Isn’t it enough to hear it on Sunday morning? Isn’t reading it once in a while more than sufficient to keep me grounded in my Christian faith?

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There are several thoughts I have on this topic and I think it is an important issue to address. Let’s start by looking at what scripture itself has to say.

“16 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; 17 so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.”

— 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NASB 1995)

This verse gives us several good reasons to study God’s word.

1 - All of Scripture is inspired by God.

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If you were interested in learning more about a certain historical figure, Hollywood star or famous pop singer would you go to the Tabloids or would you want to go to the direct source? An autobiography is going to be more revealing about a person than a few short paragraphs about where they were last seen and who they were last hanging out with. If we claim to be Christians and want to live a Christ like life then the place to go is the Word of God to receive information that is most accurate and truthful. God, Himself, inspired the men who wrote the words. I believe this is the most accurate historical document we have.

2 - All of Scripture is profitable for teaching, reproof, correction, and for training in righteousness.

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Think about this for a minute. If you read a magazine, a textbook, or a fictional piece, each one may give you some sort of benefit. You might learn how to cook a certain dish from a recipe book. You might learn more about what vitamins to take as you age from a magazine on aging. You might find yourself swept away by a riveting adventure which helps you relax. However, unlike the Bible most things we read are not able to do everything the Bible can do.

The Bible is a historical account of the Nation of Israel, giving us a history lesson. The Bible is a book of poetry and love. The Bible gives us steps to ease anxiety, love our neighbor, and forgive those who have hurt us. The Bible teaches us how to live, how to love and how to have a relationship with an amazing God.

3 - All Scripture enables us to be adequate and equipped for every good work.

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You know what I like most about that last phrase? The word adequate. It doesn’t tell us that we will be perfect. It doesn’t say we will be all knowing, powerful, or rich. It says we will be adequate. Webster’s Online Dictionary defines the word adequate as: Sufficient for a specific need or requirement; good enough. God gives us what we need when we need it. He doesn’t give us more. Why do you think this is? It might have something to do with humility and dependence.

Our ability to be equipped for every good work, isn’t dependent on our ability. It is dependent on God. This fact takes us back to the first two points…it’s all from Him, and it is meant for teaching, correction, training, etc. We have to be continuing to learn and study and grow.

Another familiar verse in the Bible about why we should study it is the following:

“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”

— 2 Timothy 2:15 (KJV)

I went for the King James Version of this verse, as it is the verse I remember growing up with. It is one of the few versions that uses the word study and links it to the ability to understand accurately what God’s word is saying. We don’t need to be ashamed if we know God’s word, what it says and what it means. If we look at the New American Standard version, it reads a little differently, but the end result is still the same. We are to be diligent workmen, who don’t need to be ashamed, because we know how to handle God’s word.

“Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.”

— 2 Timothy 2:15 (NASB 1995)

If we just look at this one verse we can come up with several more reasons we should study God’s Word.

1 - To be able to present ourselves to God.

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Accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior is merely the first step in a life time of growth and knowledge as we get to know Him more and more. Not only are we getting to know Him better, but He is making us more like Christ. When we know His word, we can bring that to Him and show that we know Him and His desires for us. Knowing and studying His word is like giving a gift back to him. We are saying that we agree with what He has said.

2 - To be an unashamed workman.

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Often what makes us feel ashamed in our Christian walk, is not what Jesus has done for us, or our belief in Him, but our inability to talk about those things. I believe one of the important ways we become better able to talk about our faith and defend it is by knowing what the Bible says. Regular study of the Word helps us to walk with Him without feeling unable to share our faith.

3 - To be able to accurately handle truth.

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Regular study of God’s word will not only make us more confident, but will enable us to know what is true and what is untrue. There are many who believe the Bible is just another book. They might even acknowledge that it has historical significance, but they do not believe everything in it to be true. They argue that everything from creation and the flood, to the virgin birth and resurrection were just fabrications put together by a random string of zealots to lead people into some sort of cult like living. The problem with many of these supposed arguments is that they really don’t take into account the actual words of the scriptures. A question both my husband and I ask people who say they don’t believe is, “Have you ever read the book?” Most often the answer is, “No.”

Let’s not depend on the world to tell us whether to believe the Bible or not. Let’s allow the Holy Spirit to do what He is best at, revealing the truth in the living, God breathed, words of Scripture. Paul admonished us in the book of Colossians:

“8 See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ. ”

— Colossians 2:8 (NASB 1995)

Paul also instructed Timothy about not listening to the “irreverent babble”.

“20 O Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to you, avoiding worldly and empty chatter and the opposing arguments of what is falsely called “knowledge”—
21 which some have professed and thus gone astray from the faith.”

— I Timothy 6:20-21 (NASB 1995)

I hope this gives you a little motivation to start looking at the Scriptures with more time and care, for in studying His Word we will be blessed with a deeper relationship with Him.

Rebooting My Faith, and My Faith Page

Have you ever felt like you needed a reboot. For those of you who are Harry Potter fans, I have always thought it would be nice to have a magical pensieve like the one Professor Dumbledore had in his office. The pensieve was a magical basin of sorts where the Master of Hogwart’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry could siphon off some of his memories to be viewed at a later date. There are times my brain feels so cluttered up with day to day life, dealing with illness, and taking care of my family, that I don’t think about other things. As I have aged, I have also taken to making lists to remember all the things I need to do.

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The last two years have been difficult. I have had unexplained health issues since the spring of 2021. I am on my second antibiotic for the sinus infection I got in December. I had a CT scan on December 30th and when my ENT doctor contacted me, he said that there was still infection simmering. The amazing thing was for a whole month after finishing the first antibiotic I was feeling good. My taste and smell were back in full working order and I was not having anything more than my typical sinus drainage. When we got home after my father-in-law’s funeral I got a call from the doctor and he said, I want you on another antibiotic. I told him I was feeling good and would rather not do the antibiotic. He agreed since I have a follow up appointment with him this month. By the next day, my sinuses were all inflamed, my throat was scratchy and I was very fatigued; the exact symptoms of my first go round. I sent the office a message and I was on this new medicine by that afternoon.

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There are times we need to just process. With the death of my father-in-law, I could see that 2023 was not starting off any further ahead than the last two years. However, I feel as though I have a new purpose and drive. Over the last two years, I have felt the pull of God to dig into His word and to have fellowship with other women who are also desiring to move deeper into the layers that are God. He provided my Saturday morning Zoom Bible Study and I also meet once a week via Zoom with a young lady in California who teaches Bible in her spare time. These women have, and continue to inspire me to move closer to the Almighty. My desire is to do the same thing for you.

This year I would like to organize my blog a little better and have given a bit of an outline of what that will look like for Fashion on that page. I would like to do a similar thing on my Faith page. I want to bring you, not just my own thoughts on Faith, but the wisdom and insights of others as well. More than anything I want you to grow a drive to know and love God with all your heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37). A relationship with Christ, His Father and the Holy Spirit makes all the difference in maneuvering this mess we call life.

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To mimic my Fashion page, I want to have a plan for more organized content for my Faith posts. The following are tentative. The reason I say that, is because I still want to be open to the leading of the Holy Spirit for what each week holds. There may be times where I need to spend a whole month on a certain passage of Scripture, or on a topic. However, this is what I was thinking:

1st. Thursday - Mulling It Over - a look at a portion of Scripture, a brief background and then ruminating on what it says to us.

2nd. Thursday - Faith Inspiration - drawing inspiration from other sources from teachers or preachers, to books and even music.

3rd. Thursday - Words of Life - looking specifically at passages or verses in the Bible that give encouragement. This would include many of the promises of God, His character, and who we are in His eyes.

4th. Thursday - Creative Christianity - this will be a place for my own creative writing, whether it be from journals, allegories, prose or poetry.

5th. Thursday (once every few months) - Topics - this will be a space for discussing some of the hard bits of walking the Christian life with a look at loving when it is hard, agreeing to disagree, religion or relationship and other things that come to mind. (Please let me know if there is anything you would like to see discussed under these topics.)

If you have been following me for a while, you know my faith in Jesus is real and important. Part of my sharing this blog with you is to let you know you are not alone. Just because I speak a good message, or have on a cute outfit doesn’t mean I don’t struggle. Just as the sufferings of Christ are ours to partake of, I want my struggles and difficulties to be out there for you to partake of as well. Suffering in unity is very important to growing and to living a life without bitterness.

I am excited about where this year is going to take this little blog, so I want your prayers more than ever. The enemy is real and he doesn’t want us to share life with each other. He thrives on isolation, manipulation and deceit. Please know, you are important to me, so if you ever have a prayer request shoot me an email and I will pray for you.

I hope you have a fantastic rest of your week and weekend. Be sure to check back next week for new content.

A Series of (Un)Fortunate Events - Part 1: A Necessary Departure

In the book series, A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket (real name Daniel Handler) we follow the tale of three orphans whose lives could only be described as a winsomely tragic. I have not read the books, but my grandson has, and the two of us have worked our way through the Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris as the persistent bad guy Count Olaf, and Patrick Warburton as the author/narrator, Lemony Snicket.

Image by Ulrike Mai from Pixabay

From the start the audience is told by the author to “look away” to keep themselves from having to see the tragic misfortunes of the three Baudelaire children who become orphans at the very start of the tale. What follows is misfortune after misfortune. From the reader’s or watcher’s perspective, the difficulties are seat squirming events that rapidly unfold taking the three children from the safety and security of their home and their parents, into the ugly, downtrodden clutches of Count Olaf. Time after time we think things will get better to only end up in a worse place, or more difficult situation.

Our own lives can often seem like a series of unfortunate events. Most of you probably have experienced those times in life when one thing after another goes wrong: the refrigerator dies, the car won’t start, you have a fight with your spouse, the kids get sick and you can’t find that piece of paperwork you needed for an important work meeting. I am not sure why things go this way. Perhaps it is the reality of the fallen world we live in: things break, stop working and get messed up. Relationships are hard. Children require energy and work, and some of us are constantly fighting the battle against clutter.

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Trouble is not anything new. Since the fall of Adam and Eve from God’s grace in the Garden of Eden, trouble has hounded mankind. Jesus gave us a heads up in the New Testament when he stated:

“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.””

— John 16:33 (NASB - 1995)

When we look at the full chapter of John 16 we see Jesus talking to his disciples about the future, theirs and His. What he tells them is not pleasant. He tells them that they will be outcasts from the Synagogue and that people will want to kill them. He also tells them that He will be leaving. Their hearts are heavy, but He reveals that if He doesn’t leave he cannot send the Helper (Holy Spirit) to them.

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“13 But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come.
14 He will glorify Me, for He will take of Mine and will disclose it to you.
15 All things that the Father has are Mine; therefore I said that He takes of Mine and will disclose it to you.”

— John 16:13-15 (NASB - 1995)

Let’s think on this for a minute. Jesus in His human form was just like us. He was limited by time, space and even gravity. If you are familiar with the New Testament and Jesus’ life you know there were instances where he moved from one place to another mysteriously. He also walked on water, so He obviously still had Godly abilities. However, Jesus could only be in one place at a time.

Now think about how the Holy Spirit works. He is spirit as God is spirit. He has the ability to dwell in me, you and every other believer all at the same time. Since the Spirit brings the likeness of Jesus into our lives we all have Jesus with us all the time. Isn’t that amazing? I don’t know about you, but that makes my unfortunate events seem easier to handle and not so overwhelming.

Let me give you a few important points about the Spirit that I hope will encourage you like it encourages me.

The Holy Spirit is not constrained by time or space.

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God’s Spirit, or the Holy Spirit shows up repetitively in the Old and New Testament.

“Do not cast me away from Your presence And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.”

— Psalm 51:11 (NASB - 1995)

“But they rebelled And grieved His Holy Spirit; Therefore He turned Himself to become their enemy, He fought against them.”

— Isaiah 63:10 (NASB - 1995)

“Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: when His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit.”

— Matthew 1:18 (NASB - 1995)

““As for me, I baptize you with water for repentance, but He who is coming after me is mightier than I, and I am not fit to remove His sandals; He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.”

— Matthew 3:11 (NASB - 1995)

“When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb; and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.”

— Luke 1:41 (NASB - 1995)

We can see that the Holy Spirit was around back in the time of David and Isaiah. He was also present with Mary and Elizabeth during their pregnancies. Time and space do not constrain this being. There are other places in the scriptures where it mentions the Spirit of the Lord. My assumption is this also is a reference to the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit reveals truth to us.

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Jesus not only called Him the Spirit of Truth, but He also said that He would reveal truth to us. I often find when I am going through an unfortunate event, God will bring back to my mind certain scriptures that help me stand firm in the difficulty. Words like:

“He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,””

— Hebrews 13:5b (NASB -1995)

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose”

— Romans 8:28 (NASB - 1995)

“6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

— Philippians 4:6-7 (NASB - 1995)

The Holy Spirit will guide us.

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Jesus said, “…He will guide you into all the truth.” I personally feel that this isn’t just about guiding us to which verse to use in a particular situation, but I think it also means the Spirit will guide us in our decisions and direct us as we seek answers to the questions we are asking in our unfortunate events. What I struggle with the most is not whether the Holy Spirit will guide me or not, but when.

Over the last year as I have been maneuvering these health issues I always felt the Spirit there with me, but finding answers to my issues has been illusive. I have to keep putting myself back into God’s hands and wait…wait for healing, wait for wisdom, wait for guidance to a doctor who knows exactly what to do. Waiting is hard, and I don’t foresee waiting ever getting any easier. I have to cling to what Jesus said, that the Spirit will guide me into all the truth.

The Holy Spirit speaks only what the Father and Son desire.

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You will never be mislead by the Holy Spirit. He cannot tell you anything that is contrary to the scriptures because the Scriptures are the written words of God. If you hear a voice telling you to rob a bank, that is not the Holy Spirit. If you think God is telling you to paint your kitchen a certain color, it is probably not the voice of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit busies Himself with the Words and the Works of God. The color of your kitchen is your own free will. God has given us freedom to make choices, even bad ones, but when we walk with the Holy Spirit as our guide and we are in tune with Him we will desire to please God.

The Holy Spirit discloses God’s words to us.

The word disclose as defined by Webster’s online dictionary means to make public or to expose to view. This is quite telling of out the Godhead operates. Many who do not believe say the Bible is unreadable and hard to understand, but they are reading it without the disclosure of the Holy Spirit. When the Holy Spirit takes up residence in our lives, He not only makes us more like Christ, but He gives us the ability to understand the deeper things of God.

Next week we’ll take a look at why how unfortunate events can be turned into fortunate events. Until then have a great weekend.

Come to the Table

A good friend of mine started a Zoom devotional group a while back and asked me to be a part of it. Every Saturday, with a few exceptions here and there, the two of us along with four to six other ladies connect via the internet to study God’s word. We have been working through a particular devotional, so every week the scripture is something different. It has been the most rewarding thing I have done in a long time. It has been such pure joy to be back in God’s word with other like minded people. We are learning from passages we have read and reread over the years proving the very thing the Bible says about itself:

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“For the word of God is living and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, even penetrating as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

— Hebrews 4:12 (NASB)

This past week we focused on Psalm 23. As a Christ follower this is a very familiar passage. The chapter consists of only six verses, but they are verses that pack an incredible punch with regard to our relationship with the Almighty. My eyes were opened anew as we read and discussed this simplistic poem written by the shepherd who would become a king.

“1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
3 He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.

4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.”

— Psalm 23 (ESV)

I do not want to take the time in this post to focus on all of the verses. We could easily spend a whole post on each verse, because there is so much to unpack. I feel compelled to talk specifically about verse 5 for today’s lesson. Let’s plumb the depths of this incredible verse together.

You prepare a table before me.

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I think this is an appropriate follow-up to our study of Hannah over the last couple months. It became obvious to me as I read and reread those verses detailing Hannah’s struggle, her ability to lean into the Lord and her complete trust in Him, that she was drawing from a source of strength and peace that we all need. Let’s look at a few questions.

Who is doing the preparation? God is. The whole passage is about the Good Shepherd and we know that the Good Shepherd is referring to the triune God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

What is He preparing? A table. When I prepare a table for a family meal, the first thing I do is make sure the table is clean. Next, I add either a table cloth or place mats, partly to protect the table surface and partly to make the table look nice. After this, I might add some sort of decoration, from a simple candle, to a vase of flowers, to some more elaborate centerpiece. I am a pretty simplistic person, so typically less is more when it comes to decor. Finally, I will set the table with plates, silverware, napkins and glasses. Finally, I will cover the table with the food that was prepared for the meal, including butter for bread, salt and pepper and extra napkins. I try to take care to think about the needs and desires of those who will be coming to my table.

For whom is the table prepared? For me. God has done this great thing in preparing a table before me. He does it in my sight, so I might know it is there and come feast from it whenever I need or want. He does not hide the table and all its delicacies in a room behind some sort of intricate maze or secret passages. It is right there in front of me. In addition this table is prepared by the Good Shepherd who stays with me prepared to meet every need I might have.

I want you to pay special attention to the tense of the word - prepare. It is present tense. This is all at once something He has done, is doing and will do. There is never any lack or anything wanting at the table the Good Shepherd has prepared for me. The fact that He prepares the table before me, means that He is always preparing it. He doesn’t prepare it and then leave. A good host or hostess, doesn’t leave the room when dinner is served. They stay and sit and eat with their guests, always attentive to any need or desire that might arise.

Even as I type this, I am floored by the lavish love of our gracious Lord and Savior.

…in the presence of my enemies…

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More questions.

Why does the Good Shepherd prepare this table before me in the presence of my enemies? I believe that God wants us to know two things. The first is His provision is for us; those who have allowed Him to brand His name on their hearts. That ornate table, full of good things is for those who call Him Lord.

The second is to remind us that we do have enemies.

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

— I Peter 5:8 (ESV)

Just like the sheep have enemies, we too, need to be reminded that we have a real enemy who is seeking to devour us. The fact that our table is there for the enemy to see is a reminder that we do not need to be afraid, as long as we are in the Good Shepherd’s care. It is also a reminder to our enemies that we are provided for, always.

…you anoint my head with oil…

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The practice of anointing with oil was traditional in Jewish culture for many reasons. Let’s look at a few of these.

A Form of Respect - Anointing with oil was a way for the host or hostess to honor the guests invited to their meal. It was a way to show respect.

Designation of Position - There were three offices that would commence with oil of anointment: prophet, priest and king. Anointing usually took place when a person was becoming one of these offices or some time at the beginning of their post.

Helping the Sick - Anointing with oil became a more regular practice in the church starting with the disciples who would anoint sick people. Even today, there are still churches who practice anointing with oil and may or may not be reserved for those with illnesses or needs.

Setting Aside - Often one who is anointed with oil is being set aside for God’s purposes. This would also be applicable to inanimate objects such as an altar, a building or a specific furnishing or item used in worship.

When the Good Shepherd anoints our head with oil, He is doing all of these things. He is showing us respect as the guests who dine at His table. He is designating our position as His chosen ones. He is healing our ills and mending our wounds, and He is also setting us aside for His eternal purposes.

…my cup overflows.

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Our Good Shepherd would certainly look to our need for quenching our thirst as well.

“Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.””

— John 4:10 (ESV)

What is this living water and where do we get it? Living water is the only water that can truly satiate our thirst. Not the physical thirst that our bodies use to signify we need to drink, but our spiritual thirst, that constant longing and looking for something to satisfy and make us feel complete. There is only one place that we can get this water and it will be given with such generosity and enthusiasm that our cups with splash joyfully as they overflow. Our cups overflow at the table our Good Shepherd prepares for us.

As a believer, we all have access to this table. This table is where we will find fellowship with the Good Shepherd. This table is where will find food to bring energy and life back to our battle weary souls. This table is where we will find rest and repose. This table is where we will quench or innermost desires and longings. This is the table Hannah ate from as she walked her little boy into the House of the Lord and left him.

The Good Shepherd prepares this table for you and for I. Come eat with me!

Rejoice Always: A Case Study - Part 4

Today I am going to finish up this particular case study of Hannah in the Old Testament. Hannah, who was Samuel’s mother, was a woman a great strength, deep desire and phenomenal trust in her God. A portion of the scripture we are going to look at is Hannah’s song of thanksgiving. This is what we are going to focus on and I want to do it just a few verses at a time, so we can slowly savor the thoughts and ideas.

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“Then Hannah prayed and said,

“My heart exults in the Lord;
My horn is exalted in the Lord,
My mouth speaks boldly against my enemies,
Because I rejoice in Your salvation.”

— I Samuel 2:1 (NASB)

Keep in mind, Hannah is singing this song of thanksgiving after she has given her only son, Samuel, to Eli the priest to serve in the House of the Lord.

Hannah exults in the Lord. The word horn as it is used in this passage refers to strength, so Hannah is saying her strength is exalted in the Lord. The word exalt is a verb that means to lift high, to elevate by praise, to raise in rank or to enhance the activity of. In other words we could say, “My heart lifts high because of the Lord.” “My strength is elevated in the Lord.”

I do not know if Hannah was thinking of Penninah, her husband’s other wife, when she sang these words, or if she was thinking of her status as an Israelite, but either way she speaks boldly, because she rejoices in God’s salvation.

“There is no one holy like the Lord,
Indeed, there is no one besides You,
Nor is there any rock like our God.”

— 1 Samuel 2:2 (NASB)

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Hannah states the truth she knows. As an Israelite she has been taught the scriptures, the laws and the commands. Her husband was a committed Jew, making sure he and his family got to the House of the Lord. But now, Hannah also has personal experience. She took her heart’s desire to have a child to God, and He remembered her and provided.

“Do not go on boasting so very proudly,
Do not let arrogance come out of your mouth;
For the Lord is a God of knowledge,
And with Him actions are weighed”

— 1 Samuel 2:3 (NASB)

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I have a feeling Hannah was a pretty observant woman. She knew her scriptures, which probably also meant she knew the history of her people. This verse could have been a reference to Penninah, but for some reason I think Hannah was above that. I think this had more to do with the enemies of Israel.

The following verses are both declarative and somewhat prophetic for the state of Israel and the future of the nation as well.

“4 The bows of the mighty are broken to pieces,
But those who have stumbled strap on strength.
5 Those who were full hire themselves out for bread,
But those who were hungry cease to be hungry.
Even the infertile woman gives birth to seven,
But she who has many children languishes.
6 The Lord puts to death and makes alive;
He brings down to Sheol and brings up.
7 The Lord makes poor and rich;
He humbles, He also exalts.
8 He raises the poor from the dust,
He lifts the needy from the garbage heap
To seat them with nobles,
And He gives them a seat of honor as an inheritance;
For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s,
And He set the world on them.
9 He watches over the feet of His godly ones,
But the wicked ones are silenced in darkness;
For not by might shall a person prevail.
10 Those who contend with the Lord will be terrified;
Against them He will thunder in the heavens,
The Lord will judge the ends of the earth;
And He will give strength to His king,
And will exalt the horn of His anointed.””

— 1 Samuel 2:4-10 (NASB)

This ends Hannah’s song, but it certainly does not signify the end of her adventure with God. If we read further in this chapter we see God’s continued blessing on her.

“18 Now Samuel was ministering before the Lord, as a boy wearing a linen ephod.
19 And his mother would make for him a little robe and bring it up to him from year to year when she would come up with her husband to offer the yearly sacrifice.
20 Then Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife, and say, “May the Lord give you children from this woman in place of the one she requested of the Lord.” And they went to their own home.

21 The Lord indeed visited Hannah, and she conceived and gave birth to three sons and two daughters. And the boy Samuel grew up before the Lord.”

— 1 Samuel 2:18-21 (NASB)

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Hannah did not forget Samuel. She lovingly made him a robe and every year when they would go up to offer their yearly sacrifice they would bring the robe and she would give it to him. She kept her promise to the Lord and He gave her more children.

What can we learn from our study of Hannah on the word rejoice?

Our joy is not dependent on our circumstances.

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We all like to think that if we only had this or that, or if our circumstances changed then we would have joy. Joy, unlike happiness is eternal. It is a state of being that comes from God and is not dependent on what is going on in our lives.

Remember the definition of rejoice: to give joy to; to feel great joy or delight. We learned from the book of Deuteronomy in the Old Testament that rejoice was a command given by God to the people of Israel and it always coincided with a feast or celebration of remembrance of God’s faithfulness and provision.

Our ability to rejoice is a choice to remember how God has provided and been faithful throughout our lives. Even in our current difficult circumstances.

Our joy is directly linked to our choice to focus on God.

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I know this can be hard, but this is what makes the difference between living large and languishing. When I choose to remember God’s faithfulness, I take my eyes off my current difficulties and place them on Him. Even if life has been difficult for a while, I can still focus on His character and His promises. He is good. He is faithful. He is just. He is holy. He is pure. He is righteous.

Back in Chapter 1 we saw when Hannah prayed she lifted up the name of God. She exalted Him. She said, “Lord of armies.” It was a simple statement, but think about all that it encompasses. The word Lord, would signify power and authority. Lord of armies, shows that He is in charge of all those who can bring about justice and peace. That three word statement was one of worship and direct focus on the powerful and amazing God.

Focusing on God and who He is and His great faithfulness will make rejoicing as important as drinking water. It is essential for life.

Like C.S. Lewis, we might be Surprised By Joy.

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Hannah found joy even after she gave up her son. She gave him to God before he was even conceived. She had no regrets. She did not waver in her promise. When the boy was old enough, she took him to the House of the Lord and left him there. Yet, she had joy.

In the middle of our adversity, in the crushing weight of our darkness, we will be surprised by joy, because it is God who gives us the ability to rejoice. Just like hope, patience, goodness, kindness and all the other fruit we can bear, it comes from Him.

Rejoice always!

What if Life Doesn't Give You Lemons?

You’ve all heard the quote, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” My husband, who is ever the melancholy Dane said, “Well what if you don’t get lemons? What if you get rotten tomatoes? What are you supposed to make with those, rotten tomato juice?” We could go on and on with a list of bad things that we really can’t find a way to turn into something palatable. The whole point of the quote is that when bad things happen, turn them into something usable and good. That’s great when life is dealing you items that you can actually turn into something good or useful, but what about those situations where it seems that there is nothing good that can come out of it?

It is very easy to get focused on the bad. I know. I have to keep reminding myself, that even though my sense of smell is wonky and I can’t taste anything right now, I do have so many other blessings. I have most of my health back after a long illness. I have a beautiful new grandson and still get to enjoy time with my older grandson. I have a home, blankets and a working furnace, which is so wonderful during these cold days and nights. I have been reminded, however, that when we are going through something difficult it is okay to feel bad. My discomfort and pain is just as real as the next person’s, even if it isn’t at the same level.

I want to look at a few steps that I have found help me when life is throwing rotten tomatoes at me rather than lemons. I hope these will be helpful to you as well.

1 - Hide

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There are days, weeks and even months where hiding is not a bad idea. Getting away from the constant barrage of negative news, or input is not only important it is essential for good mental health. I know a number of people who have taken breaks from various forms of social media. Some have even pulled away all together, feeling that it was adding to their already anxious and discouraged mindsets. Even God’s word encourages us to occasionally hide.

“Keep me as the apple of the eye; Hide me in the shadow of Your wings”

— Psalm 17:8 (NASB)

“For on the day of trouble He will conceal me in His tabernacle; He will hide me in the secret place of His tent; He will lift me up on a rock.”

— Psalm 27:5 (NASB)

“A prudent person sees evil and hides himself, But the naive proceed, and pay the penalty.”

— Proverbs 22:3 (NASB)

“Come, my people, enter your rooms And close your doors behind you; Hide for a little while Until indignation runs its course.”

— Isaiah 26:20 (NASB)

There are times when life becomes overwhelming and the rotten tomatoes are coming at you; some of them may even contain the missiles of the enemy. Those are the times to hide. Hiding with an almighty God is an especially good place to be.

2 - Stand Up

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I know this might sound counterintuitive, especially when the world is flinging gloppy, rotten tomatoes at you. I also just got done telling you to hide, but there are times in life when the best thing we can do is take a stand.

If you have been following my blog for a while, you know that I have done studies on our unseen enemy and on the armor of God. As a refresher, take a look at these verses from Ephesians.

“10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.
11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.
13 Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist on the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.
14 Stand firm therefore... ”

— Ephesians 6:10-14a (NASB)

Certainly, there are times those tomatoes are flying from the chaos of the lives we are living; cars breaking down, the dishwasher leaking, the kids getting sick, these are all struggles that we deal with. There are other times, where those stinky, red missiles are coming from an unseen source; the very one who is wanting us to give up hope and turn away from our Lord and protector.

3 - Trust

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Let me take a moment at this point to talk about that idea of the Lord as our protector. Who hasn’t asked themselves, “If God loves us and He is our protector, then why are all these bad things happening?” The best way for me to explain this is to point out two factors.

The first is to remind all of you, we live in a fallen world. I was doing some reading in Hebrews for a devotional group I am in on Saturday morning. The comparison was being made of the old system of sacrificing bulls and goats to the one sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ. The author points out that God was not pleased with the system of sacrifice and provided a better alternative…the one time sacrifice of His Son Jesus Christ. The Father did not want to have the system of sacrifice, because His desire was to walk with the humanity He created in the perfect garden. It was mankind who chose to do wrong. The moment sin came into the world, God set Plan B into motion; the system of sacrifice and blood offerings.

The second point I want to make is that God provided a way, even after we messed things up. He always provides a way. It might be a way out, a way over, a way across, a way to hide or a way to take a stand, but He will always provide. Sometimes, we just have to wait on Him, as hard as it can be. Waiting is excruciating, especially when our struggle is overwhelming. We might have a terrible illness. We might be in constant pain. We might be battling an addiction either to drugs and alcohol or to pornography and toxic relationships. Still, if we can be still and wait, He will provide a way.

“23 Let’s hold firmly to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; ”

— Hebrews 10:23 (NASB)

4 - Believe

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What is the difference between trust and belief? I would define them this way: trust is believing that someone or something is good or reliable. Belief is accepting that something is true. We can easily believe that God is good, yet not believe that everything that is in the scriptures is true. We can also believe that the Bible is true, but not necessarily believe that God is entirely good.

Belief is essential to having a right relationship with God. If we do not take God at His word we will always be doubting whether He can be trusted.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

— Romans 8:28 (NASB)

When we put our faith in God the Father, and in the plan of salvation that He set forth though His Son, Jesus, we are also putting our faith in His Word. Believing what the above verse is saying is true makes it easier to know that even the rotten tomatoes will somehow turn into something good, even if the only thing they are used for is compost.

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5 - Rest

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I decided to separate rest from hiding, because while it is true that we could rest while we are hiding, much like Elijah did in the cave in I Kings 19, it is also true that we can be hiding, but be all pent up inside and not truly getting any rest. There is physical rest, emotional and mental rest. The type of rest you might need when the tomatoes are flying might be all of them or it might just be one.

When I was sick back in the fall, I really needed physical rest, because with my cough I was not sleeping at all. However, I also needed mental and emotional rest. I did not know what was wrong with me and I also did not know if I would ever get better. I had to keep going back to the truth of what I believed in Scripture.

“28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.””

— Matthew 11:28-30 (NASB)

I would get off the couch the next morning, having to face another day of not feeling well, but I trusted what Christ said in that passage. Even though I wasn’t actually sleeping, He always got me through every day. I am so thankful He finally got me to a point where I was able to get help and start healing.

Rest may not always be the physical rest or the mental rest we think we need. There are times where the rest is simply laying back in the arms of our Savior and letting Him get us through those really bad days.

I don’t know what you might be facing as this new year progresses, but I hope that you will remember, even if you are being assailed by rotten tomatoes, God is right there with you and He will help you through.

When Darkness Comes - Part 10: The Beauty of His Piercing

As I bring this series to a close, there is still so much to learn and so much to share, but first and foremost, I want you to remember, when you are walking in darkness God is near. We saw how He hovered over the darkness of the deep at the beginning of creation, and how He is not only within the darkness, but He is in control of it. I want you to remember that whatever comes into your life passes first through the hands of the Almighty, and with that thought the reminder that His is good.

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I have also been sharing with you my own experience of walking in the dark by sharing heart felt words written in my journal. As a believer, writer and person of deep emotion, I have found journalling a great way to work through hard times and even harder feelings. I want you to understand how important it is to acknowledge our feelings and bring them before the Lord. I want you to be able to throw off those false faces we so often wear, so that you can live a life that is as real and raw as possible. Life is hard, but our God is powerful.

In the Old Testament, The book of Exodus gives many details of the Israelite’s captivity by Egypt and the freedom following when God worked through Moses. It also gives many of the laws and ordinances they people of Israel were expected to follow.

““Now these are the ordinances which you are to set before them:

2 “If you buy a Hebrew slave, he shall serve for six years; but on the seventh he shall leave as a free man without a payment to you.
3 If he comes alone, he shall leave alone; if he is the husband of a wife, then his wife shall leave with him.
4 If his master gives him a wife, and she bears him sons or daughters, the wife and her children shall belong to her master, and he shall leave alone.
5 But if the slave plainly says, ‘I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not leave as a free man,’
6 then his master shall bring him to God, then he shall bring him to the door or the doorpost. And his master shall pierce his ear with an awl; and he shall serve him permanently.”

— Exodus 21:1-6 (NASB)

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As you can see from the passage, over the years, if a slave was treated well, he might begin to see his master as part of his family. When the time of his slavery came to an end, he could decide to stay with his master permanently. We might wonder why a slave would do this, but it makes sense. If the slave had come to take a wife and have his own family over the course of his confinement, he would be choosing between his freedom and his family, because the female slave he married, is still the property of the master. Choosing to remain with his master allowed him to stay with his family. When he made this choice, his ear would be pierced with an awl to show that he was permanently bonded to the lord of the house.

I love how the things God ordained and revealed in the Old Testament become analogies for our spiritual walk. The piercing of the ear showed a choice on the part of the slave to be permanently part of the household and family of the lord of the estate. In the same way, when we choose to allow God to pierce our hearts with the truth of His word, we become more invested in the desire, and work of the Master. Suddenly, the things that didn’t seem to make sense, become understandable. The darkness that seemed as though it would swallow us whole, becomes filled with pin pricks of light, creating hope in our weary hearts.

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When I went through that particularly dark time a few months ago, I shared with you the process I went through as I wrestled with my own feelings and God’s truth. I have long struggled with my self-worth and self-image. We live in a world where comparison is the norm and no matter how often people say, “Don’t compare yourself to others,” “Get over yourself,” “You are being selfish if you have those thoughts and feelings,” or “You are unique and beautiful,” the fact is we still compare, feel bad about ourselves, guilty about what we did wrong, or didn’t do right, and all the other messages we hear. Only God can lift us out of the mire we and others have placed us into.

The morning after I had journaled all of those pages, where I ranted, acknowledged, remembered and ruminated, the Lord took His sword and pierced my heart. I woke up that morning, not really feeling victorious, but remembering I was waiting on the Lord in the strength of His might. I knew He would bring me out of that darkness when He was ready. I leaned into what I knew. Yes, I would have loved to have gotten up that morning feeling like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, but I didn’t. In addition to remembering what He had shown me over the last few days about His truth, I chose to focus on Him.

As I was putting on my make up, I decided to listen to a Beth Moore Podcast. The title of the podcast was Measureless Love, Part 1 (April 13, 2020). Why I picked that podcast on that day is a God thing. You see the thing I was struggling with the most was feeling loved. Yes I knew in my head my family loved me. I knew if I ever needed them, I could call on the friends that I have and they would be there for me, but still, the doubt that anyone truly loved me was like a disease in my mind. After all, I was not, nor ever would be, enough.

The fact that Beth Moore’s podcast was on God’s measureless love was no accident. What struck me was the idea, which Beth pointed out, that God is a God of measurements and preciseness. Think about the earth, sun, stars and other heavenly bodies. If our earth was just a smidge closer to the sun it would be too hot to support life. Just a smidge further away and it would be to cold to support life.

Look at these other examples in Scripture, of God’s precise measurements:

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“Then God said to Noah, “The end of humanity has come before Me; for the earth is filled with violence because of people; and behold, I am about to destroy them with the earth. 14 Make for yourself an ark of gopher wood; you shall make the ark with compartments, and [m]cover it inside and out with pitch. 15 This is how you shall make it: the length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, its width fifty cubits, and its height thirty cubits. 16 You shall make a window for the ark, and finish it to a cubit from the top; and put the door of the ark on the side; you shall make it with lower, second, and third decks. 17 Now behold, I Myself am bringing the flood of water upon the earth, to destroy all flesh in which there is the breath of life, from under heaven; everything that is on the earth shall perish. 18 But I will establish My covenant with you; and you shall enter the ark—you, your sons, your wife, and your sons’ wives with you. 19 And of every living thing of all flesh, you shall bring two of every kind into the ark, to keep them alive with you; they shall be male and female. 20 Of the birds according to their kind, and of the animals according to their kind, of every crawling thing of the ground according to its kind, two of every kind will come to you to keep them alive. 21 As for you, take for yourself some of every food that is edible, and gather it to yourself; and it shall be food for you and them.” 22 So Noah did these things; according to everything that God had commanded him, so he did.”

— Genesis 6:13-22 (NASB)

“10 “Now they shall construct an ark of acacia wood two and a half cubits long, one and a half cubits wide, and one and a half cubits high. ”

— Exodus 25:10 (NASB)

“And you shall make an atoning cover of pure gold, two and a half cubits long and one and a half cubits wide. ”

— Exodus 25:17 (NASB)

“Moreover, you shall make the tabernacle with ten curtains of fine twisted linen and violet, purple, and scarlet material; you shall make them with cherubim, the work of a skilled embroiderer. 2 The length of each curtain shall be twenty-eight cubits, and the width of each curtain four cubits; all the curtains shall have the same measurements. 3 Five curtains shall be joined to one another, and the other five curtains shall be joined to one another. 4 You shall make loops of violet on the edge of the outermost curtain in the first set, and likewise you shall make them on the edge of the curtain that is outermost in the second set. 5 You shall make fifty loops in the one curtain, and you shall make fifty loops on the edge of the curtain that is in the second set; the loops shall be opposite each other. 6 You shall also make fifty clasps of gold, and join the curtains to one another with the clasps so that the tabernacle will be a unit.”

— Exodus 26:1-6 (NASB)

“4 Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell Me, if you have understanding,
5 Who set its measurements? Since you know.
Or who stretched the measuring line over it?
6 On what were its bases sunk?
Or who laid its cornerstone,”

— Job 38:4-6 (NASB)

I could go on, sharing passage after passage about God’s attention to detail, specifically to that of measurement. From laying the foundations of the earth, to the tabernacle to the temple, God is a God of preciseness…except in the area of His love. When it comes to God’s love, it is measureless.

“My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.”

— Ephesians 3:14-19 (The Message)

I typically don’t use too many different translations of the Bible. I prefer the New American Standard or the New International Version, but I wanted to give you a version of this passage that would drive the point home. In my opinion, this is beautifully written. Truly, the dimensions of Christ’s love are extravagant.

“11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him.
12 As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our wrongdoings from us.
13 Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
14 For He Himself knows our form;
He is mindful that we are nothing but dust.”

— Psalm 103:11-14 (NASB)

When God pierces our hearts, He drives home His truth to the extent that we cannot question its source or its author. God’s love for me is measureless. You know how I know this to the very core of my being? When I was in darkness, questioning the truth of love in my life, again, He took the time to orchestrate my circumstances to remind me, He loves me without measure, again. You see, he has done this for me before; not in the same way, but in a way that meant something to me. This time, it pierced me. When the piercing happens it cannot be undone.

Just like that slave, who chose to have his ear pierced with the awl, as a reminder to himself and everyone he chose to stay with his master, so too God’s piercing in our lives is a reminder, a place we can return to if we ever doubt.

Next week I will wrap this series up with a review. Until then, have a great weekend!

When Darkness Comes - Part 7: Revealing our True Hearts

I have been doing a series on the darkness as it pertains to times of struggle in our lives. The last two posts revolved around truth; the truth we know about God and the truth we know about ourselves as seen in the Word of God. We cannot, however, have truth and not acknowledge the feelings and emotions that God created us with. As we saw last time, we often put on False Faces, so that we can cope and pretend the truth has penetrated our hearts, but in reality it hasn’t. I have been sharing my own experience with you, because through my own walk in the dark, I have learned that truth must be wrestled with before it can become a part of our inner being.

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God knows our delicate frame and also knows He gave us a mind that can think, reason and question. However, we must remember our minds were meant to be in communion with Him. The longer we let our minds dwell on what is false, hopeless and destructive, the less we will be able to recognize His truth. When we are walking in the darkness, there is no doubt, the Unseen Enemy will try to manipulate that shadowed path to his advantage. That is precisely why it is so important to stand on the God’s truth, but not just stand, we have to wrestle with it and allow Him to pierce our souls with it.

He has done that with me. Even as I type this, tears come to my eyes, because I realize, as an Almighty being, He owes me nothing. He has no reason to gift me His time or attention. He does so, because He chooses to. The incredible, lavish fact is, He chooses to do this, even when I am at my lowest, ranting about how unfair life is or how hard things are, or questioning impatiently when will this darkness end.

In order to get to this point of allowing God to pierce us, we must acknowledge our feelings, as ugly as they can be. Feelings are often tied to experiences, both good and bad. In my heart I have a room. Inside, there are shelves full of experiences, mostly those with other people. Most of these are bad experiences. When I feel bad, I unlock that room and I go inside, closing the door behind me. It isn’t a comfortable room, filled with fairy lights and comfy, overstuffed furniture. It’s more like an old attic, full of cobwebs, dark corners and lots of junk. I find a place on the hard floor and I start reviewing all that junk…all those times I yelled at my kids; all the angry words between my husband and I; all those feelings of never measuring up…of not being enough…of being invisible.

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Most of us have something like my attic room, where we revisit things that happened or didn’t happen. These are part of emotional make up of who we are and God is patient with us. He allows us those moments, but He doesn’t want us to stay there. Eventually, it would be nice if I could hand that key over to Him and walk away. I haven’t done that yet, but I am getting closer.

I am going to share an except from my journal, when I was revealing my true heart to God. I share these things, not to make you feel sorry for me or to make you think how hard I have had it, but I hope by being vulnerable with you, you will choose to be vulnerable with God.

“I guess what it comes down to, Lord, is I am sad that I am invisible. I know there are lots of people struggling with far worse things than feeling invisible. There are wives whose husbands are unfaithful; there are children whose caretakers are abusive; there are elderly men and women fading like an old photograph with no one to visit or care about their needs, or desires. There are people who have felt the pain of divorce, the death of a child or spouse...and here I am feeling sad...that I feel invisible.

But I would not be a healthy person if I did not acknowledge I am sad, and it hurts. It hurts to be forgotten; to have a face that is unmemorable; to have no voice except one that is deemed naggy, bitchy or emotional. I am only acknowledged when I mess up. I am only texted or called when someone wants something...””

— Amy's journal from 5/23/21

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There are several things I want you to notice. I am acknowledging my feelings. I am unloading. I have remembered God’s truth about Himself and about me, and now I am letting Him know how I feel. My intellect knows what is true…I am not invisible. I have a family who does love me. I have friends…but the acknowledgement of feelings is so important in healing and in allowing God to bring His word into the deep places of our hearts. I go on to make this very point in my journal.

“Lord, I am venting. I know what Your word says. I am not invisible. Your word says You knew me before I was born. You know my thoughts from afar. There is no place I can go to get away from You. I am not invisible to You. (Psalm 139)”

— Amy's journal from 5/23/21

The other thing I want you to notice is that I recognize I am not alone in suffering. There are many who are suffering; many who have it far worse than I do, but that does not diminish my feelings or my need to lay those feelings at His feet. This is a process.

The next step follows: I recognize that some of my struggle is a result of sin, and the work of the Unseen Enemy.

“Lord, I ask Your forgiveness that I struggle with these feelings over and over. I should be mature enough to be so over it, but right now I am not. I am weak.

I ask for Your protection. I know my enemy would like to devour me, my family, but he cannot. Renew my mind, because I cannot. I choose to lean in to You; in to your comfort, mercy and grace; into Your sufferings. I embrace it all and I call on Your name...the name of Jesus, knowing He is the Great Warrior Prince and He will rescue me.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

Finally, I acknowledge the power and supremacy of the Almighty One.

“Thank you for You hem me in behind and before; that You are my rear guard; that You hold my hand and walk with me through every single valley. You are the Wonderful Counselor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace. You alone are the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/31

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Don’ be afraid to let God peer into the deepest places of your heart. Allowing Him access to those attic rooms will eventually bring about true renewal and cleansing. Wrestle with God’s truth. Tell Him how you really feel as you maneuver the darkness of your path. Let Him pierce you deep and He will bring you to new understanding and heights of His love.

Next time we will look at another piece of this refining process as we continue our journey in the darkness. I hope you are able to join me. Thank you for all your support and I pray God will become more real to you today than He ever has before.

When Darkness Comes - Part 5: Finding God in the Darkness

This post will be rather long and contains aspects of my own experience in the darkness, but I share the details to help you understand the process.

We have been learning about the darkness. We have seen its beginning; created by an Almighty God for the benefit of His creation. Darkness was not meant to be bad. It was not meant to hide evil and torment the sinner, but our unseen enemy wanted to make the good bad. From the moment he became enamored with his beauty and too proud to place himself under the authority of the divine creator he has chosen to manipulate that which is good, right and true.

Image by Brigitte makes custom works from your photos, thanks a lot from Pixabay

If I came to you and said, “I am going through a very dark time,” wouldn’t you assume I was struggling? Wouldn’t you pray for the light to come back into my life, so I might once again be walking in the blessedness of my Savior’s love? Why do we assume, darkness is not the place we are meant to walk? How did we get to the point where struggle and disappointment in life is thought to be in our lives because of something we did or did not do? Why do we embrace the light, the sun, the beautiful blue skies and gentle breezy days, but not the night, the dark, the gray lumbering clouds over a storm tossed sea? Isn’t all of it allowed by our Heavenly Father? Doesn’t every circumstance that comes into our lives come first through the gentle and loving hands of our risen Lord?

“I form light and create darkness;
I make well-being and create calamity;
I am the Lord, who does all these things.”

— Isaiah 45:7 (ESV)

I will be the first to admit, I do not like this truth, but truth it is. The scripture is full of God’s truth. We are not allowed to take one truth, but not the other. We do have a free will and we can dislike some of the truths that are in the Bible, but that does not change the fact that they are the truths put forth by a holy and perfect God. Part of the key to being able to accept God’s truth is to really get to know Him. Many people read one verse and decide, God is fickle, or angry, or malevolent, but they are not seeing the entire picture. Just as we take time to get to know the person we fall in love with, falling in love with God takes time and a willingness to trust.

Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay

I want to take this part of my series on When Darkness Comes, slowly. These are the things we need to understand, and know with the very core of our being. This is where the Holy Spirit makes effective the work that Jesus did on the cross. This is the time when our head knowledge, must become heart knowledge.

My Experience

About a month ago, I was having a particularly difficult time. I have long struggled with my self image, often feeling worthless and useless. Over the last 34 years as a wife and mother I have struggled with the poor choices I made, my lack of love and compassion for both my spouse and our daughters. I grieved over the death of my father, the ensuing changes in my mother’s life and how that made life more complex. I witnessed divisions and strife in our church. I became aware of the trauma one of my family members suffered at the hands of a supposed “man of God.” I saw this same family member walk away from the church and begin a self-destructive path of rebellion against God and self-indulgent behavior. During this period I sought counsel from a licensed counselor and was told I was “mercy gone wild.” I learned about boundaries and letting go of many of the dreams I had for myself and my family. I was regularly building coffins, throwing my dreams inside, nailing them shut and burying them.

Image by Rob van der Meijden from Pixabay

Life slowly began to be less chaotic, but things were, and still are, hard. Recently, we learned our youngest daughter has a brain tumor. In addition to that she has been having a multiplicity of symptoms such as numbness, pain, tremors, dizziness and nausea. To this day, those things are still unresolved and the doctors do not believe her symptoms to be related to the tumor, which is very small and which, for now, they are keeping an eye on. This is just another straw on that proverbial camel’s back that makes the load heavier and heavier.

In my desire to draw closer to God, He lead me to see there is only one way to do this. I must take Him completely at His word. During that time a month ago, I had a three day period of a sadness so deep, I did not know how God was going to bring me out of it. I was hopeless. Hopeless for our country, hopeless for my daughter, hopeless for those who think they know truth, but are wearing blinders, hopeless for so many young people who have walked away from the church and from Him, and hopeless for myself. I never felt so completely lost in the darkness. I cried. No, I sobbed. I could not stop sobbing. Hour after hour I wondered how I could make so many tears.

Finally, when the tears began to dry up, I heard God’s voice telling me, “Get your journal and tell me what you know.”

This is the first step to finding Him in the deep darkness. Remind yourself of who God is.

Learn Who God is, and then Tell Him

Photo Rebecca Trumbull.

(excerpt take from my journal - Bible verses added after)

Lord, I know Your truth. Your word gives me that truth and it never changes.

“Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.”

— John 17:17 (NASB)

“The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of our God stands forever.”

— Isaiah 40:8 (NASB)

I know Your lovingkindness is everlasting.

“But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting for those who fear Him,
And His justice to the children’s children,”

— Psalm 103:17 (NASB)

I know Your mercies are new every morning.

“For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for a lifetime;
Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning.”

— Psalm 30:5 (NASB)

I know Your grace is matchless.

“For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.”

— John 1:16 (NASB)

You have freely given, so I might freely receive.

“Now we have not received the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God.”

— 1 Corinthians 2:12 (NASB)

You have bridged the gap between our sin laden world and your perfect heaven. I know You gave us Jesus. It was Your plan that He be the perfect sacrifice.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life.”

— John 3:16 (NASB)

I know all have sinned and fall short of Your glory.

“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

— Romans 3:23 (NASB)

I know the punishment for sin is death.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

— Romans 6:23 (NASB)

I know, whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

“for “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.””

— Romans 10:13 (NASB)

I know it is not by my own power and strength, but because of your mercy, that you saved me.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;
9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

— Ephesians 2:8-9 (NASB)

I know you have removed my sin as far as the east is from the west.

“As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our wrongdoings from us.”

— Psalm 103:12 (NASB)

Every truth, I believe about God is backed by scripture and these are just a few of them. You could do whole studies on the attributes and characteristics of our Almighty Redeemer. It is important when we are in the darkness to go back to what we know is true and to cling to it.

Next week we will look at the next phase of our journey as we walk in the dark. Thank you for following along.

When Darkness Comes - Part 3: Darkness Gone Bad

The last two weeks I have taken you through the first few verses of Genesis 1 and saw how God created the world, including darkness and light. We learned that darkness wasn’t evil. Darkness was the absence of light and to God there was no difference between darkness and light. When God separated the light from the darkness He did it with our benefit and the earth’s well being, in mind. He created the lights in the heavens including the sun, moon and stars, as ways to separate the seasons and to differentiate day from night. Day was made for work and night was made for rest.

When did darkness become bad? When did we start making the association that darkness wasn’t good and wasn’t for good people? When did darkness become associated with sin and evil? I want to show you a progression that took place. In order to understand this we need to go back to Genesis. If you regularly follow my Faith posts, you know I went over the passage in Genesis 3 when I did the series on Our Unseen Enemy. We need to look at this again. We can never look at God’s word too often.

“1 Now the serpent was more cunning than any animal of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God really said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?”
2 The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat;
3 but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’”
4 The serpent said to the woman, “You certainly will not die!
5 For God knows that on the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will become like God, knowing good and evil.”
6 When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took some of its fruit and ate; and she also gave some to her husband with her, and he ate.
7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves waist coverings.”

— Genesis 3:1-7 (NASB)

In the series on Satan, we learned that he was enamored with his own beauty. He became prideful and wanted to usurp the throne of God in heaven and take over. The first step in the darkness becoming bad was the choice of a created being to look within, rather than looking to God.

Step 1 - Self-Reliance

Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

It all started with Satan’s choice to look at his own beauty and his obsession with it. He forgot about who God was and that God had created him, not the other way around. The very same thing happened when Satan went to Eve. He got her to focus, not on all the beauty she had in the garden; not on the husband and companion God provided for her; and certainly not on the God who had made her. Satan tempted Eve to look within herself and see just what she was lacking.

Step 2 - Misery Loves Company

Image by karosieben from Pixabay

The next step in the progression towards darkness becoming bad was Satan’s desire to take others down with him. What fun would it be to rebel all by his onesie? He gladly found others among the angels willing to follow him. In the same way, Eve was not content to be the only one to bite into the forbidden fruit. She had to tempt her husband to make the same mistake. Once this choice was made, there was no going back, for either Satan or Adam and Eve.

Step 3 - Anger and Shame

Image by Thomas Wolter from Pixabay

Our study reveals two prominent emotions: anger and shame. Satan’s response to not getting his way in heaven was anger and hatred. Satan wasn’t just angry, he became violent.

“15 You were blameless in your ways
from the day you were created,
till unrighteousness was found in you.
16 In the abundance of your trade
you were filled with violence in your midst, and you sinned;
so I cast you as a profane thing from the mountain of God,
and I destroyed you, O guardian cherub,
from the midst of the stones of fire.
17 Your heart was proud because of your beauty;
you corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor.
I cast you to the ground;””

— Ezekiel 28:15-17 (ESV)

Adam and Eve, on the other hand, felt shame. Look again at Genesis 3:7:

Image by Сергей Корчанов from Pixabay

“7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves waist coverings.”

— Genesis 3:7 (NASB)

This was the final step in the progression of darkness becoming associated with all that is bad. The eyes of Adam and Eve were open. Before this happened we can assume, to them, there was no difference between darkness and light, other than that it represented a time change. Darkness wasn’t bad, scary or evil, but the sin of rebelling against God through disobedience suddenly made them want to hide. Darkness became a covering for sin and sinful actions.

In addition to this, even though their eyes were opened, Adam and Eve’s minds became dark. They no longer had the light of God, or the fellowship of His presence. They were banished, just as Satan was banished from heaven.

“22 Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might reach out with his hand, and take fruit also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”—
23 therefore the Lord God sent him out of the Garden of Eden, to cultivate the ground from which he was taken.
24 So He drove the man out; and at the east of the Garden of Eden He stationed the cherubim and the flaming sword which turned every direction to guard the way to the tree of life.”

— Genesis 3:22-24 (NASB)

I want to leave you with this idea; darkness is still God’s. Satan does not own it. He did not create it. Yes, he dwells in it and makes the world believe it is his domain, but God is still hovering over the darkness and He can see everything, we can’t.

Next week we will look at where God is in the darkness. Thanks for following along. Have a great day!