Wonderful Words of Life - Don't Lose Heart

We have all struggled at some point in our lives. If you are like me just getting out of bed on a regular basis is a struggle. It seems I always feel tired. Living in this post Covid world, I know many are struggling with just the day to day activities of life. Getting up, going to work, taking care of the kids and seeing to their needs, keeping a home, being involved in your church, or in other activities that your kids are involved in, helping with your grandkids…the list goes on. Life is different now than it used to be. With all the advances in technology, modern medicine, and science, people still hurt, get sick and suffer.

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Recently we have seen the suffering of many on the island of Maui in the Hawaiian Islands. Wild fires have devastated that once beautiful paradise and left a path of destruction and death. Living in the aftermath is going to be an hour by hour struggle. Maybe that is how you are feeling today. You are asking yourself questions like: How can I keep getting up in the morning? Am I ever going to feel completely normal again? How will I ever survive this disease, divorce, loss…you can fill in the blank. It is during times like these, when I feel overwhelmed that I love to be reminded of God’s goodness and mercy.

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“16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.
17 For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison,
18 while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

— 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NASB 1995)

We all know the reality. Our bodies will decay. In fact, everything that is physical will decay and fade away. No matter how strong we make buildings, how healthy our bodies are, or how much we clean up the ecosystems around us, they still will decay and return to the dust from which they came. This might leave you feeling like, what is the point? What is the point of trying to do better by exercising, eating right, taking care of our homes, or making better choices for the environment when in the end it makes no difference? The above verses give us a few answers to this question. Let’s look at each verse individually and see what encouragement we can glean from these Wonderful Words.

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Verse 16 - Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

We are instructed to not lose heart. Even though our physical bodies, and all the physical stuff around us is decaying and will fade away, we are reminded our inner man is being renewed all the time. Who or what is our inner man? Our inner man is the new creation Christ made us when we asked Him to be our Lord and Savior. This is the man that the Holy Spirit works with and on, as we die to the flesh and live to the Spirit. Renewal happens as we do away with those selfish, fleshly tendencies and learn to feed and grow the new man God is creating us to be. Renewal is dependent on our reading His word, praying, fellowshipping with other believers, and relying on Him more and more as we maneuver this life.

Verse 17 - For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison.

It may not seem that what you are going through is light affliction. There is nothing light about suffering the death of a loved one, loss of a home or job, or dealing with a devastating diagnosis from the doctor. However, when we begin to see things with eternity in mind our perspective begins to change. We know we are going to have hardship, but this verse assures us that it is not without purpose. We are reminded that these times of suffering are producing an eternal weight. A weight of glory.

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Can you even begin to comprehend what a weight of glory is? How exactly do you weigh glory? Is it measured in pounds, stones or kilograms? It is not like we can put it on a physical scale, as glory is not a physical, measurable thing. Ah, but God. You know His ways are not our ways. His scales are not our scales. If He says we are going to have an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, I am going to have to trust Him. All of our affliction is productive and has a purpose.

Verse 18 - While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Simply put, the things which we see on a day to day basis are temporary. Our homes, our jobs, even our relationships are temporal. The word temporal is defined by Webster’s Online Dictionary as things that are of or relating to time, or things that are of or relating to earthly life. Anything that is temporal is also temporary.

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When we begin to change our focus from that which is temporal to that which is eternal, the struggles we go through will not have the same bite as they once did. Only those things done for eternity’s sake will last.

Going back to the idea of what is the point if it’s all just going the way of the dust bin anyway? The point is eternity. As we live in this world ruled by the clock, deadlines, dates, calendars, and other forms of measurement we need to make sure our focus is on eternity. Instead of asking God, when will this difficulty end I need to ask myself, how can I endure with eternity in mind and glorify Him.

Don’t lose heart, dear one! There is a purpose to every affliction you are going through. Decide today to go through the difficulties with the timelessness of eternity in your heart, and the question of how you can glorify Him, always on your mind.

A Series of (Un)Fortunate Events - Part 2: The Necessity of Misfortune

Last week I introduced you to A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series by Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler) that has also been made into a movie with Jim Carey, and a Netflix series with Neil Patrick Harris. The series follows three orphans, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire, who are trying to find out why their parents died in a fire, while at the same time trying to find a guardian who will love and care for them. The inheritance of their future fortune marks them easy prey for villains wanting their money, specifically Count Olaf.

I made the comparison that often we are like the orphaned Baudelaire’s experiencing one tragedy after another. Misfortune is, as the word’s meaning defines, unfortunate. The word fortunate is defined as - “bringing some good thing, not foreseen as certain; receiving some unexpected good.” Misfortune is defined simply as, “an unhappy situation.” When we call someone unfortunate we are saying they are “marked or accompanied by misfortune.” (Definitions from Webster’s Online Dictionary.)

All of us experience misfortune, but we don’t necessarily see everyone as unfortunate, where every day seems to be a struggle and hope is as elusive as an early morning mist. In fact, when a tragedy happens we will often say, “You were very fortunate. It could have been so much worse.” While this is true, it isn’t always the best thing to say.

If you have been following me for a while, you have probably heard me say that struggles and difficulty are not always all bad. We’ve all heard stories or watched a Hallmark movie, where something beautiful has come out of a terrible situation. In my own life I have seen the hand of God extend mercy in situations where the outcome of people’s choices could have been total tragedy.

Last week I discussed the necessity of Jesus’ departure from earth, so the Holy Spirit could come. Without the Helper’s constant guidance and revelation of God’s word we would be lost. Thus the need to recognize, not all tragedies and difficulties are truly unfortunate. With the Holy Spirit’s help we can recognize four key things about our difficulties.

1 - Allowed by God.

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If you believe what the Bible says about God’s characteristics then you must acknowledge His sovereignty. If God is sovereign, all things that come into our lives are sifted through His fingers. We have the book of Job as one for instance of God allowing great difficulty into one man’s life. But, even after all the tragedy, Job knew God was good and sovereign.

“He said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked I shall return there.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.””

— Job 1:22 (NASB 1995)

“9 Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!”
10 But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.”

— Job 2:9-10 (NASB 1995)

I can still remember a sermon I heard a few years ago when we were going through an especially hard time. The preacher made two points:

1 - God is sovereign and God loves you.

2 - When you are going through something hard refer back to point number 1.

It sounds pretty simple, but in reality it is. Our Almighty God is not trying to trick us, or manipulate us. He is completely straight forward. His holiness is pure. His goodness is everlasting. His mercies are new every morning. Most importantly, He loves us. Plain and simple.

2 - For our benefit.

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Most of us want things that are beneficial for us whether healthy food and exercise, a place to get away and rest, peace of mind and loving, nurturing relationships. God wants things that are beneficial for us as well. The difference is that as the author of all creation He has a far better grasp of what we truly need.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

— Romans 8:28 (NASB 1995)

Notice in the verse it says that God causes ALL things to work together for good. It isn’t only the happy, joyful, peaceful things that work for our good, it includes the mind numbing, tragic and ugly parts of life. How can this be the case? Because it is God who is doing the working for the good. We are hardly capable of getting ourselves out of bed in the morning, how is it we are going to know the deep needs of our own selves? We think we do…happiness, peace, no longing, no fear, no confrontation…but we are unwilling to go to the One who knows us inside out.

3 - Meant for God reliance.

A trapeze artist knows the importance of being in excellent shape physically, and mentally. They know their muscles must be strong and their minds must not be distracted by the difficulties of life. In addition, they are completely reliant on their equipment. A broken wire, or rusty chain must be repaired or replaced. How do they know these things? By being taught by others who went before.

When we encounter unfortunate events it is the perfect opportunity to check our relationship with God. Are we maintaining our connection with Him. Are we keeping short accounts on our sin? Are we spending time in His word? Are we searching for scripture and advice on how to get through our difficulties by His strength and with His grace?

I don’t care what the commercials are telling you…be all you can be. I don’t care what the social media influencers are preaching…you are strong, you got this, you are woman hear you roar…most messages that come from a source outside of God Himself, while encouraging are not going to keep you sane when the bottom falls out of your world.

“5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
8 It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones.”

— Proverbs 3:5-8 (NASB 1995)

“6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,
7 casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.”

— 1 Peter 5:6-7 (NASB 1995)

“63 It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing; the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and are life.”

— John 6:63 (NASB 1995)

“8 It is better to take refuge in the Lord
Than to trust in man.”

— Psalm 118:8 (NASB 1995)

“10 ‘Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’”

— Isaiah 41:10 (NASB 1995)

We are meant to be God dependent, not independent.

4 - Renewal: God’s best outcome.

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Coming through a series of unfortunate events is the perfect time for God to build something new in you. As you practice abiding in Him and relying on Him He will begin to weed that garden that He is cultivating in you. It may be that the misfortunes are actually His way of pulling the weeds of pride, self-centeredness and bitterness from your soul. Let Him be about His work for this will have the best outcome. You will come through your difficulties with a deeper, new found faith and knowledge, not only of who you are, but more importantly of who God is.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

— Romans 12:2 (NASB 1995)

“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.”

— 2 Corinthians 4:16 (NASB 1995)

“He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit,”

— Titus 3:5 (NASB 1995)

I want to encourage you to remember, you are not alone in your difficulty. There is a loving, omnipotent God working through your series of (un)fortunate events.

Stopping the Train Wreck

Over the course of the last few weeks I have been looking at how are thoughts can easily sabotage our efforts to form new habits, and be better people. Many of us, when we enter a new year want to reboot. We want to try again to tackle those extra pounds that we have cumulatively put on each holiday season. We want to go at those piles that pervasively appear in each and every room of our house. We want to be better people; more giving, kind and loving. Many of us begin a new regimen of exercise and dieting, clutter control and clearing out, and even invest in pod casts, books and other things to help us think and act differently. Why then, is it so hard to stick to it? Why after a few days, a few weeks, or if your are really good, a few months, do we typically fall off the wagon?

In my post of two weeks ago, When Our Thoughts are a Train Wreck, I examined three mentalities, I believe, contribute to our inability to stick to our new habits. These three thought patterns include being self absorbed, demanding our rights and not caring. I’d like to reexamine these patterns and discuss ways to change our thoughts.

Being self-absorbed

As I mentioned in the original post, taking care of ourselves is not a bad thing. We need to exercise, eat right, get enough sleep and stimulate our minds to give ourselves the best life. Being self-absorbed revolves around a preoccupation with certain ideas about ourselves. These can include thoughts that we do not measure up to some invisible standard that we think other people have set for us, and self-degrading messages like, “I’m too fat,” “I’m not good enough,” which can lead to self-destructive behaviors like cutting, addictions and even suicidal thoughts.

We all have self-absorbed thoughts from time to time. It is easy to get into that mind-set when life is hard and things are not going well. It is also easy to dress in this mind set when your past holds tragedy and pain. However, life cannot be lived to the fullest if we allow those things to imprison us.

I am not a professional counselor, but I’d like to suggest a few things that can help us to get out of the self-absorbed mind-set.

1 - Get Moving

This is partly about exercise and partly about behavior modification. Often when we get into an anxious or self-absorbed circuit, we are unable to get out of the loop. Much like a hamster running on his little wheel, our thoughts keep coming back around to the same loop. We revisit the destructive thought, the let down feeling, the disappointment in ourselves or others and round and round it goes.

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It is a well known fact that exercise has good effects on our brains. From increased oxygen flow and release of hormones to antidepressant effects that reduce stress hormones, exercise really is beneficial for the brain. Movement helps to get us out of the loop. It doesn’t have to be rigorous exercise. If you are sitting down, stand up. If you are standing still, move. If you are going north, turn around and go south. Every time those thoughts come creeping back in, move.

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I find walking very cathartic, when I am stressed. As I walk I do deep breathing and I purposefully force myself to look at the world around me, the neighborhood, the people, the trees, the snow, the icicles hanging from the roof tops. These simple things get me out of my self-absorbed loop and help me to think about other things. It also reminds me that the world is not coming to an end, even if it may seem like it today. As Scarlet O’Hara said in Gone With the Wind, “Tomorrow is another day.”

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2 - Get help

You don’t necessarily need professional help, but if you do, or if others who care about you are recommending it, then do it. Otherwise, find a group of people to keep you accountable. Get an exercise and dieting buddy. Find someone who is going to accept you, but also encourage you to do better. Find an older person, who’s got life experience and ask them to mentor you and help you get out of your self-absorbed box. Or if you are an older person, who doesn’t have much human contact and your are still able to get around, volunteer at a dog shelter, a newborn unit at the hospital or a school. All of these things get us outside our own boxes.

3 - Seek and Speak Truth

You know all those side effects you think you have because you got on the internet and looked up the medication the doctor gave you?

“Stop it!”

In reality, the side effects that are put on medications are put there to keep pharmaceutical companies from getting sued. The reality is the statistics on people who die or have severe reactions to medication are rare. It is an exception, not the norm. The same is true for so many aspects of life. As the saying goes, “Sh-t happens.” This is true, but most of the bad things that we think are going to happen, don’t. In addition, many of the bad things that happen to us we bring upon ourselves. Start researching what is true.

In addition start speaking truth:

“I am not perfect, but I am beautiful.”

“I don’t have a college degree, but I am smart.”

“I haven’t published a book yet, but I am not a failure.”

“I got mad at my husband, but I am a good wife who has bad days.”

“I yelled at my kids, but I am a good mom, even when I my hormones have me off kilter.”

Keep it real.

Demanding Our Rights

Once again, having rights is not a bad thing and an ideal that our founding fathers believed was very important for communities and nations to survive and thrive. However, the thought that the world owes us something is not truthful or beneficial. The mentality of, get it all and get it now, is also not an accurate way to approach life. How do we cope with these entitlement feelings we all have struggled with and still act like a caring, giving individuals?

1 - Walk a Mile in Someone Else’s Shoes

There is no greater preventative to a rights demanding mentality, than to put yourself in someone else’s place. Being in the service industry I have seen people at their best and at their worst. I don’t even think people realize how rude and obnoxious they are at times. I have had helicopter parents demand that their child’s book be given to them free because it wasn’t on the shelf when they came in to purchase it. I have had people accuse me of racism because when I explained the parameters of their rental book I told them they couldn’t spill their lunch on it. I tell this to every individual I rent a book to. At the end of the day, I am just another person trying to make my way in the world, just like everyone else.

When I feel like my rights are being infringed upon, or that I am being taken advantage of, I try to look at things with new glasses; someone else’s glasses. Thinking about where another person is coming from, not only enables us to view the world differently, but it may even move us to have compassion on another person. You never know what another person is dealing with in their life. They might be dealing with deep hurt or disappointment, or they may be experiencing grief, illness or pain. Having compassion and empathy gets us out of our rights loop and enables us to be better, more understanding individuals.

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2 - Recognize Rights Mean Responsibility

Having a right, does not give us a free pass to do whatever we want. In fact, having rights, means having responsibility. People who are for the right to bear arms, understand that owning guns means they are responsible to handle those guns safely and teach others that gun ownership requires safe handling and being responsible to use them wisely.

Many people think that demanding rights is a way to guarantee their freedom to choose to do whatever they want. The opposite is, in fact, true. Having rights means we are enslaved to the responsibility of using those rights for good, not merely personal gain.

So what does this have to do with our thought patterns and becoming better people. My daughter and I have both struggled with our weight. We both love food, especially things that are full of carbs. Bread, sweets, chips are all on our radar of things we love. At one point my daughter said she wanted to be able to eat whatever she wanted. You might think that being able to eat whatever you want is true freedom. However, true freedom lies in the ability to make the better choice. Even if we were able to eat whatever we wanted and never gain weight, does that make it right?

True freedom is the ability to not be bound by our appetites, whether it be food, sex, money, popularity, alcohol, Netflix or any other thing that can become an obsession.

“To enjoy freedom we have to control ourselves.”

— Virginia Wolf

Not Caring

It is easy to get into the mindset of not caring. When life gets busy, or overwhelming, sometimes it is easier to just give up. Who cares if I eat that whole bag of Twizzlers? I don’t care if my coworkers like me? I’m failing that class, so what?

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Take a look at a few of these quotes:

“Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.”

— Margaret Mead

“Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you.”

— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“Without a sense of caring, there can be no sense of community. ”

— Anthony J. D'Angelo

It is important to care. Often, we just need to revisit the why behind the what. In other words, ask yourself why you should care.

Why should you care about your health? Because you are a valuable person who probably has others depending on you and who care about you.

Why should you care what your coworkers think? Because you are part of a team. You can have a positive impact on the people you work with if you care.

Why should you care about your grades at school? Because every choice you make now, will affect the choices you make in the future.

Start thinking about why you should care and maybe that will reignite your ability to care.

Next week will be the final installment in this series on New Year, New Mind. I’ll be looking at setting goals and how to realistically keep them. I will also have some spiritual insights as well. I hope you like this look at renewing our minds. Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below.

Have a fantastic weekend and to all my northern and midwest friends, stay warm!

Renewal Resolutions

I often think Christ's death and resurrection go hand in hand with the idea of renewal. Seeing as it is now officially Spring, I am beginning to see the signs of renewal in nature. If I look very closely at the trees and bushes around my home and neighborhood I can see buds. These tiny, seemingly insignificant changes in nature signal something we all depend on...new life, renewal and change. The thing that thrills me about it is, I get to start over. Just like in the morning I wake up and thank God for a new day, a chance to try again, and maybe do better than the day before.

God has given us many chances to do it over, the "it" being life in general. Every season is a chance to change things up, whether it be winterizing our homes, raking leaves or planting a garden. These are all things that signify change and change is often good. The new year allows us another chance to embrace change. Why do you think so many of us make New Year's Resolutions? Because we honestly would like to make ourselves and our lives better.

So it is with Easter. Not only does the holiday fall close to the actual seasonal change from winter to spring, but it comes about at a time when pots of hyacinth, daffodils and tulips grace the stores and delicious colors fly onto the clothing racks. We are ready for a change. Why not make this a time to ponder other changes besides those in the seasonal realm? Instead of our broken New Year's Resolutions, let's start again with a few New Life resolutions.

Photo Credit: Rebecca Trumbull

When Christ rose from the dead, He brought about an incredible change in the spiritual realm. Death and the law, no longer held power. Those shackles were tossed aside for tethers of choice and bonds of love. What I choose to do today, I desire to do for Jesus. I no longer feel obligated to be "good". Now I desire to show my love to the Great Warrior Prince who saved me.

What sort of New Life resolutions you decide to make will depend on where you are at in your relationship with Christ. Perhaps you have only recently given your life and heart to Him, so for you a resolution might include reading the Bible on a regular basis, finding a church to be involved in and seeking forgiveness from individuals you may have hurt. Someone who has walked with Christ for a while may make a resolution to delve into deeper study, perhaps reading some of the old time authors such as D.L. Moody, Andrew Murray or A.W. Tozer. Perhaps they also decide to make a change in the sort of ministry they are involved in, rather than just being a student at a Bible study, starting one of their own.

For me, I want to live day by day. I have been reading through Andrew Murray's Abide in Christ for a while now and I would like to get back to that. Murray's principal is simple, abide, abide, abide. Christ lives in us and we abide in Him. Abiding is the art of keeping Christ ever before us, day in, day out, moment by moment. I haven't mastered that yet, but that is exactly why I need an occasional do-over....a reset, a reboot, a chance to start again. 

“The Lord’s loving kindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
’The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul,
‘Therefore I have hope in Him.’”

— Lamentations 3:22-24

The above passage is a pertinent reminder of what renewal is all about. It is based on God's lovingkindness, compassion and faithfulness. These are new every single morning and so much more every single moment. He is my portion and that is why I have hope. Hope for renewal and hope that He will help me have the resolve I need to live a step above where I was living yesterday.