A Series of (Un)Fortunate Events - Part 2: The Necessity of Misfortune

Last week I introduced you to A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series by Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler) that has also been made into a movie with Jim Carey, and a Netflix series with Neil Patrick Harris. The series follows three orphans, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire, who are trying to find out why their parents died in a fire, while at the same time trying to find a guardian who will love and care for them. The inheritance of their future fortune marks them easy prey for villains wanting their money, specifically Count Olaf.

I made the comparison that often we are like the orphaned Baudelaire’s experiencing one tragedy after another. Misfortune is, as the word’s meaning defines, unfortunate. The word fortunate is defined as - “bringing some good thing, not foreseen as certain; receiving some unexpected good.” Misfortune is defined simply as, “an unhappy situation.” When we call someone unfortunate we are saying they are “marked or accompanied by misfortune.” (Definitions from Webster’s Online Dictionary.)

All of us experience misfortune, but we don’t necessarily see everyone as unfortunate, where every day seems to be a struggle and hope is as elusive as an early morning mist. In fact, when a tragedy happens we will often say, “You were very fortunate. It could have been so much worse.” While this is true, it isn’t always the best thing to say.

If you have been following me for a while, you have probably heard me say that struggles and difficulty are not always all bad. We’ve all heard stories or watched a Hallmark movie, where something beautiful has come out of a terrible situation. In my own life I have seen the hand of God extend mercy in situations where the outcome of people’s choices could have been total tragedy.

Last week I discussed the necessity of Jesus’ departure from earth, so the Holy Spirit could come. Without the Helper’s constant guidance and revelation of God’s word we would be lost. Thus the need to recognize, not all tragedies and difficulties are truly unfortunate. With the Holy Spirit’s help we can recognize four key things about our difficulties.

1 - Allowed by God.

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If you believe what the Bible says about God’s characteristics then you must acknowledge His sovereignty. If God is sovereign, all things that come into our lives are sifted through His fingers. We have the book of Job as one for instance of God allowing great difficulty into one man’s life. But, even after all the tragedy, Job knew God was good and sovereign.

“He said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked I shall return there.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.””

— Job 1:22 (NASB 1995)

“9 Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!”
10 But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.”

— Job 2:9-10 (NASB 1995)

I can still remember a sermon I heard a few years ago when we were going through an especially hard time. The preacher made two points:

1 - God is sovereign and God loves you.

2 - When you are going through something hard refer back to point number 1.

It sounds pretty simple, but in reality it is. Our Almighty God is not trying to trick us, or manipulate us. He is completely straight forward. His holiness is pure. His goodness is everlasting. His mercies are new every morning. Most importantly, He loves us. Plain and simple.

2 - For our benefit.

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Most of us want things that are beneficial for us whether healthy food and exercise, a place to get away and rest, peace of mind and loving, nurturing relationships. God wants things that are beneficial for us as well. The difference is that as the author of all creation He has a far better grasp of what we truly need.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

— Romans 8:28 (NASB 1995)

Notice in the verse it says that God causes ALL things to work together for good. It isn’t only the happy, joyful, peaceful things that work for our good, it includes the mind numbing, tragic and ugly parts of life. How can this be the case? Because it is God who is doing the working for the good. We are hardly capable of getting ourselves out of bed in the morning, how is it we are going to know the deep needs of our own selves? We think we do…happiness, peace, no longing, no fear, no confrontation…but we are unwilling to go to the One who knows us inside out.

3 - Meant for God reliance.

A trapeze artist knows the importance of being in excellent shape physically, and mentally. They know their muscles must be strong and their minds must not be distracted by the difficulties of life. In addition, they are completely reliant on their equipment. A broken wire, or rusty chain must be repaired or replaced. How do they know these things? By being taught by others who went before.

When we encounter unfortunate events it is the perfect opportunity to check our relationship with God. Are we maintaining our connection with Him. Are we keeping short accounts on our sin? Are we spending time in His word? Are we searching for scripture and advice on how to get through our difficulties by His strength and with His grace?

I don’t care what the commercials are telling you…be all you can be. I don’t care what the social media influencers are preaching…you are strong, you got this, you are woman hear you roar…most messages that come from a source outside of God Himself, while encouraging are not going to keep you sane when the bottom falls out of your world.

“5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
8 It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones.”

— Proverbs 3:5-8 (NASB 1995)

“6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,
7 casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.”

— 1 Peter 5:6-7 (NASB 1995)

“63 It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing; the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and are life.”

— John 6:63 (NASB 1995)

“8 It is better to take refuge in the Lord
Than to trust in man.”

— Psalm 118:8 (NASB 1995)

“10 ‘Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’”

— Isaiah 41:10 (NASB 1995)

We are meant to be God dependent, not independent.

4 - Renewal: God’s best outcome.

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Coming through a series of unfortunate events is the perfect time for God to build something new in you. As you practice abiding in Him and relying on Him He will begin to weed that garden that He is cultivating in you. It may be that the misfortunes are actually His way of pulling the weeds of pride, self-centeredness and bitterness from your soul. Let Him be about His work for this will have the best outcome. You will come through your difficulties with a deeper, new found faith and knowledge, not only of who you are, but more importantly of who God is.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

— Romans 12:2 (NASB 1995)

“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.”

— 2 Corinthians 4:16 (NASB 1995)

“He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit,”

— Titus 3:5 (NASB 1995)

I want to encourage you to remember, you are not alone in your difficulty. There is a loving, omnipotent God working through your series of (un)fortunate events.

When Darkness Comes - Part 7: Revealing our True Hearts

I have been doing a series on the darkness as it pertains to times of struggle in our lives. The last two posts revolved around truth; the truth we know about God and the truth we know about ourselves as seen in the Word of God. We cannot, however, have truth and not acknowledge the feelings and emotions that God created us with. As we saw last time, we often put on False Faces, so that we can cope and pretend the truth has penetrated our hearts, but in reality it hasn’t. I have been sharing my own experience with you, because through my own walk in the dark, I have learned that truth must be wrestled with before it can become a part of our inner being.

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God knows our delicate frame and also knows He gave us a mind that can think, reason and question. However, we must remember our minds were meant to be in communion with Him. The longer we let our minds dwell on what is false, hopeless and destructive, the less we will be able to recognize His truth. When we are walking in the darkness, there is no doubt, the Unseen Enemy will try to manipulate that shadowed path to his advantage. That is precisely why it is so important to stand on the God’s truth, but not just stand, we have to wrestle with it and allow Him to pierce our souls with it.

He has done that with me. Even as I type this, tears come to my eyes, because I realize, as an Almighty being, He owes me nothing. He has no reason to gift me His time or attention. He does so, because He chooses to. The incredible, lavish fact is, He chooses to do this, even when I am at my lowest, ranting about how unfair life is or how hard things are, or questioning impatiently when will this darkness end.

In order to get to this point of allowing God to pierce us, we must acknowledge our feelings, as ugly as they can be. Feelings are often tied to experiences, both good and bad. In my heart I have a room. Inside, there are shelves full of experiences, mostly those with other people. Most of these are bad experiences. When I feel bad, I unlock that room and I go inside, closing the door behind me. It isn’t a comfortable room, filled with fairy lights and comfy, overstuffed furniture. It’s more like an old attic, full of cobwebs, dark corners and lots of junk. I find a place on the hard floor and I start reviewing all that junk…all those times I yelled at my kids; all the angry words between my husband and I; all those feelings of never measuring up…of not being enough…of being invisible.

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Most of us have something like my attic room, where we revisit things that happened or didn’t happen. These are part of emotional make up of who we are and God is patient with us. He allows us those moments, but He doesn’t want us to stay there. Eventually, it would be nice if I could hand that key over to Him and walk away. I haven’t done that yet, but I am getting closer.

I am going to share an except from my journal, when I was revealing my true heart to God. I share these things, not to make you feel sorry for me or to make you think how hard I have had it, but I hope by being vulnerable with you, you will choose to be vulnerable with God.

“I guess what it comes down to, Lord, is I am sad that I am invisible. I know there are lots of people struggling with far worse things than feeling invisible. There are wives whose husbands are unfaithful; there are children whose caretakers are abusive; there are elderly men and women fading like an old photograph with no one to visit or care about their needs, or desires. There are people who have felt the pain of divorce, the death of a child or spouse...and here I am feeling sad...that I feel invisible.

But I would not be a healthy person if I did not acknowledge I am sad, and it hurts. It hurts to be forgotten; to have a face that is unmemorable; to have no voice except one that is deemed naggy, bitchy or emotional. I am only acknowledged when I mess up. I am only texted or called when someone wants something...””

— Amy's journal from 5/23/21

Image by Vojtěch Kučera from Pixabay

There are several things I want you to notice. I am acknowledging my feelings. I am unloading. I have remembered God’s truth about Himself and about me, and now I am letting Him know how I feel. My intellect knows what is true…I am not invisible. I have a family who does love me. I have friends…but the acknowledgement of feelings is so important in healing and in allowing God to bring His word into the deep places of our hearts. I go on to make this very point in my journal.

“Lord, I am venting. I know what Your word says. I am not invisible. Your word says You knew me before I was born. You know my thoughts from afar. There is no place I can go to get away from You. I am not invisible to You. (Psalm 139)”

— Amy's journal from 5/23/21

The other thing I want you to notice is that I recognize I am not alone in suffering. There are many who are suffering; many who have it far worse than I do, but that does not diminish my feelings or my need to lay those feelings at His feet. This is a process.

The next step follows: I recognize that some of my struggle is a result of sin, and the work of the Unseen Enemy.

“Lord, I ask Your forgiveness that I struggle with these feelings over and over. I should be mature enough to be so over it, but right now I am not. I am weak.

I ask for Your protection. I know my enemy would like to devour me, my family, but he cannot. Renew my mind, because I cannot. I choose to lean in to You; in to your comfort, mercy and grace; into Your sufferings. I embrace it all and I call on Your name...the name of Jesus, knowing He is the Great Warrior Prince and He will rescue me.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

Finally, I acknowledge the power and supremacy of the Almighty One.

“Thank you for You hem me in behind and before; that You are my rear guard; that You hold my hand and walk with me through every single valley. You are the Wonderful Counselor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace. You alone are the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/31

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Don’ be afraid to let God peer into the deepest places of your heart. Allowing Him access to those attic rooms will eventually bring about true renewal and cleansing. Wrestle with God’s truth. Tell Him how you really feel as you maneuver the darkness of your path. Let Him pierce you deep and He will bring you to new understanding and heights of His love.

Next time we will look at another piece of this refining process as we continue our journey in the darkness. I hope you are able to join me. Thank you for all your support and I pray God will become more real to you today than He ever has before.

When the Monsoon Winds of Change Blow

I spent the morning doing a little bit of cleaning, putting away Halloween decor and getting out Thanksgiving decor. While I was doing that I was thinking about what to do with this Faith post. My life has never been one of discipline or routine. My spouse is a college instructor, so every semester the schedule changes. We homeschooled our two girls all the way through high school so that schedule changed in accordance with my spouse’s. There were times when Mark had several evening classes, so we would have our main meal together at lunch time. Other times, the girls and I would fend for ourselves, knowing dad wouldn’t be home until 9 or 10 at night. In addition to that all of our family is out of state. Holidays, spring breaks and summers were often littered with trips to see Grandmas and Grandpas, uncles, cousins and friends.

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Change is not a bad thing. Often, change can be exciting and something we look forward to with anticipation. Unfortunately, change can also be something that fills us with dread and despair. In just a few short weeks, my position as assistant manager of a university bookstore will be over. It was a position I grew into, as I started working when my girls were just little. I went from sales clerk, to general merchandiser, to shipping and receiving clerk, to assistant manager. I made the transition working part time, so I could still homeschool our girls and more recently help out with our grandson.

I had hoped that I could take a few months off, get my thoughts together and get through the holidays without the added stress of learning a new job, having a new schedule, blending with new coworkers and on and on the change comes. However, that is not the case. I have to find another job, so I am applying for something seasonal.

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Part of the reason, I am writing this is to work through the situation myself. Losing a job is like losing someone close to you. You didn’t get to have a say in when it happened, it just happened. You didn’t get to determine, what that change or that end would look like, it just ended. So here I am. I’m 55 and not sure what the next step is, other than to keep stepping.

There is a passage of Scripture that seems especially pertinent to my situation today, and maybe will speak to you as well.

“26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?
33 Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies.
34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?
36 As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,
39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

— Romans 8:26-39 (ESV)

There are several key points that we can pull from this passage.

1 - Someone is praying for us.

Verses 26 and 27 plainly state that the Spirit intercedes for us. I love this. To know that someone is praying for me and not just praying but interceding with “groanings too deep for words.” Have you ever noticed when life is overwhelming it is also often confusing as well. In addition, knowing what God is trying to do through or in a situation is more often than not beyond our ability to understand. There are times I find myself saying, “Lord, I don’t even know how to pray.” That is how I have felt over the last few months as I have looked down the pike to losing my job. Sure, my heart would like to pray that everything would go smoothly and that I wouldn’t have to get another job right away. I want to be able to enjoy the holidays and not have them messed up with a new schedule and the stress of learning a new job. But, my mind is also praying for a new job as soon as possible. I have also entertained the idea, that maybe God would just like me to really trust Him. Ha, ha. It is exactly in this state of confusion that my prayers often hit the ceiling and go no further, so it is very reassuring to me that the Holy Spirit is praying for me and He is praying according to the will of God. Pure and simple.

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2 - Things will work out.

It would be nice to say, that things will work out, exactly as we had hoped and expected, but reality says that is rarely the case. However, according to verse 29, things will work for good to those who love God, and who are called according to His purpose. That may sound a little confusing, as though we have to figure out what God’s purpose is. The fact of the matter is, all we have to do is be present. Whatever the circumstance or difficulty, God will work it out and you can be sure it will be for your best and my best, because His will is always for our best. Our minds are limited in what we are able to see as being best, but from personal experience, I can say, it is only when I am completely submitting to Him and whatever path or direction He’s leading me that I have complete peace. That path may be wretchedly difficult, but He is walking it with us and the end result will be good.

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3 - We are known, called, justified and glorified.

Verses 29 and 30 pack a big punch. There is a lot going on in these two verses, and rather than delving into each word individually, just know that we are pretty darn important to our Creator. I am also not going to get into a discussion on predestination versus free will. My heart believes that both are possible and that God is the only one who needs to understand how it works. That is good enough for me. The fact that He knew us from the beginning, He called us to Himself, He justified us through His Son Jesus Christ, and He will glorify us at the resurrection with new bodies, reiterates the amazing love of this being we call Jehovah. The complexity of this relationship with an Almighty being becomes clearly simple when we believe that everything He does is done for our benefit.

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4 - God is for us.

This needs little explanation. The only thing you have to do is believe it!

5 - God will provide.

God, who did not spare His own Son, Jesus, for our benefit, will provide all that we need. Note, I did not say all that we want, but all that we need. What we are responsible to do is figure out, what is it, that we really need. Food, clothes, love, security. Think about people who have been persecuted, tortured or neglected, yet still survived and even thrived regardless of the adversity. What is it that we really need? Only to abide with Him.

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6 - We are secure.

Verses 33 through 35, and 38 through 39, reassure us of our firm foundation in Christ. No one can separate us from Him or His love. We can be persecuted, neglected, overwhelmed, or in despair, but still He is with us. We might be losing our jobs, our spouses, our families, our homes, our health, but still He is with us and we are secure in His hands.

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7 - We are conquerors in Him.

Verses 36 and 37, give us the kick in the pants we need, when we become self focused. When change is coming and the future is uncertain we can easily begin to look inward thinking things like, we’ll never get through this, we can’t do this one more day, we aren’t good enough or other such thoughts that take our focus off the one through whose hands every circumstance trickles. We can become anxious, self-absorbed and begin to invite friends to our pity party, but that is not what God wants for us. Verse 37 says, “…in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”

Think about your favorite super hero movie. How did they get through the battles with bad guys, aliens and monsters? They conquered. They conquered their fear and they conquered the enemies. We have an Almighty, All Powerful God on our side. We can be conquerors too, in Him.

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