Word for 2024: Wait

I didn’t do a word for the year last year, but this year I felt as though I needed to take on that task again. I played around with a number of words including trust, and joy, but the word wait seemed to stand out as the place I am in right now.

Image by Fang_Y_M from Pixabay

Wait is not a word we like to hear. We usually associate waiting with something bad, like rush hour traffic and test results on an exam, or from your doctor’s office. We typically look at waiting as something that is forced upon us, that we really, really don’t want to do. Like a child on Christmas morning who wants to open his presents, but mom and dad tell him he has to wait until after breakfast, waiting is a torment.

Think about the first time you went to an amusement park and you were finally tall enough to ride that really big roller coaster. You stand in line with your friends laughing and joking about how exciting it is going to be, but inside you are feeling slightly nauseous. The waiting is like an affliction. “Just get me to the front of the line and strap me in so I can get this over with!” You want to prove how brave you are to your buddies, while at the same time you are trying to keep your knobby knees from shaking. Waiting can be very hard.

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The word wait, according to Webster’s online dictionary means: to remain stationary in readiness or expectation; to look forward expectantly; to hold back expectantly; to be ready and available; pause or stop. When I looked at the thesaurus wait had many other related words and I will be looking at some of these over this next year, because I think it is important to fully understand why waiting is so important in our Christian walk.

This week I would like to look at several benefits waiting has for us.

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Safety - We all learn from a very young age to look both ways before we cross the street. Streets can be dangerous with cars darting back and forth. If we did not wait to cross we might get run over. The same is true in our Christian lives. We may not always see the dangers ahead, whether they be real physical dangers or dangers from our enemy in the spiritual realm. God sees and knows everything about our lives, and He knows when we are facing the dangers from poorly thought out decisions, toxic relationships, or even self destructive tendencies. Often, the best thing to do when we are not sure what to do is wait.

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Rest - A child often finds it hard to rest when they are waiting for Christmas morning, but as adults it seems God will often put us on our backsides when He knows we need to rest, but we are too stubborn to do it. This is very hard for women. We are doers, and we are constantly helping our families, our friends and people in our circles, like church family. These are not bad things. It is obvious a lot of work would go undone if women weren’t around to do it. However, I do think as Christian women we often find our worth, not in the God who made us, but in what we do. We love to check off all the boxes on our to do lists, and if something goes unchecked we are upset with ourselves.

I have news for you. You don’t have to do everything. I have been learning this the hard way over the last few years with illness, and continuous symptoms that make it difficult to do all the things I used to do. More of my time is spent managing symptoms and going to doctor’s appointments than I used to, and I struggle more with fatigue. Through it all I have been learning what it means to come to Jesus and find rest for my soul.

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Time - Most of us would agree, the one thing we wish we had more of is time. I often find myself at the end of the day wondering where the day went, and feeling like I didn’t get anything done. We wish our days could be longer, or the weekends could always be three days instead of two, or other time centered thoughts. It is true, since Covid brought the new normal of working from home, some people have more flex in their schedules, but I am pretty sure, even they long for more time.

It might sound strange, but waiting is basically getting back time. Obviously, there are certain situations where waiting involves keeping your focus, such as in a traffic jam, or standing in a slow moving line, but many times waiting affords us the opportunity of time. You might be between jobs, waiting for test results from a biopsy, looking for a long term relationship, or waiting to hear from your son or daughter who moved out. No matter what brought you to the waiting period, it is the perfect place to find God.

The author of the book of Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament understood this time element of life.

“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—”

— Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NASB 1995)

This leads me to believe that even the waiting times are appointed by God. He has a purpose for the busy times and the waiting times. He alone knows why life is the way it is for you, for me, for all of us. Perhaps He knows you need to rest, or that you are facing a situation where you need to be safe and secure, or that you just need time to regroup or decompress.

I am hoping over this next year to learn how to wait better. Perhaps you are in a waiting time in your life as well, maybe we can wait together.

Let me know in the comments if God is calling you to wait.

Rebooting My Faith, and My Faith Page

Have you ever felt like you needed a reboot. For those of you who are Harry Potter fans, I have always thought it would be nice to have a magical pensieve like the one Professor Dumbledore had in his office. The pensieve was a magical basin of sorts where the Master of Hogwart’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry could siphon off some of his memories to be viewed at a later date. There are times my brain feels so cluttered up with day to day life, dealing with illness, and taking care of my family, that I don’t think about other things. As I have aged, I have also taken to making lists to remember all the things I need to do.

Image by indigoblues38 from Pixabay

The last two years have been difficult. I have had unexplained health issues since the spring of 2021. I am on my second antibiotic for the sinus infection I got in December. I had a CT scan on December 30th and when my ENT doctor contacted me, he said that there was still infection simmering. The amazing thing was for a whole month after finishing the first antibiotic I was feeling good. My taste and smell were back in full working order and I was not having anything more than my typical sinus drainage. When we got home after my father-in-law’s funeral I got a call from the doctor and he said, I want you on another antibiotic. I told him I was feeling good and would rather not do the antibiotic. He agreed since I have a follow up appointment with him this month. By the next day, my sinuses were all inflamed, my throat was scratchy and I was very fatigued; the exact symptoms of my first go round. I sent the office a message and I was on this new medicine by that afternoon.

Image by Miguel Á. Padriñán from Pixabay

There are times we need to just process. With the death of my father-in-law, I could see that 2023 was not starting off any further ahead than the last two years. However, I feel as though I have a new purpose and drive. Over the last two years, I have felt the pull of God to dig into His word and to have fellowship with other women who are also desiring to move deeper into the layers that are God. He provided my Saturday morning Zoom Bible Study and I also meet once a week via Zoom with a young lady in California who teaches Bible in her spare time. These women have, and continue to inspire me to move closer to the Almighty. My desire is to do the same thing for you.

This year I would like to organize my blog a little better and have given a bit of an outline of what that will look like for Fashion on that page. I would like to do a similar thing on my Faith page. I want to bring you, not just my own thoughts on Faith, but the wisdom and insights of others as well. More than anything I want you to grow a drive to know and love God with all your heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37). A relationship with Christ, His Father and the Holy Spirit makes all the difference in maneuvering this mess we call life.

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To mimic my Fashion page, I want to have a plan for more organized content for my Faith posts. The following are tentative. The reason I say that, is because I still want to be open to the leading of the Holy Spirit for what each week holds. There may be times where I need to spend a whole month on a certain passage of Scripture, or on a topic. However, this is what I was thinking:

1st. Thursday - Mulling It Over - a look at a portion of Scripture, a brief background and then ruminating on what it says to us.

2nd. Thursday - Faith Inspiration - drawing inspiration from other sources from teachers or preachers, to books and even music.

3rd. Thursday - Words of Life - looking specifically at passages or verses in the Bible that give encouragement. This would include many of the promises of God, His character, and who we are in His eyes.

4th. Thursday - Creative Christianity - this will be a place for my own creative writing, whether it be from journals, allegories, prose or poetry.

5th. Thursday (once every few months) - Topics - this will be a space for discussing some of the hard bits of walking the Christian life with a look at loving when it is hard, agreeing to disagree, religion or relationship and other things that come to mind. (Please let me know if there is anything you would like to see discussed under these topics.)

If you have been following me for a while, you know my faith in Jesus is real and important. Part of my sharing this blog with you is to let you know you are not alone. Just because I speak a good message, or have on a cute outfit doesn’t mean I don’t struggle. Just as the sufferings of Christ are ours to partake of, I want my struggles and difficulties to be out there for you to partake of as well. Suffering in unity is very important to growing and to living a life without bitterness.

I am excited about where this year is going to take this little blog, so I want your prayers more than ever. The enemy is real and he doesn’t want us to share life with each other. He thrives on isolation, manipulation and deceit. Please know, you are important to me, so if you ever have a prayer request shoot me an email and I will pray for you.

I hope you have a fantastic rest of your week and weekend. Be sure to check back next week for new content.

Stopping the Train Wreck

Over the course of the last few weeks I have been looking at how are thoughts can easily sabotage our efforts to form new habits, and be better people. Many of us, when we enter a new year want to reboot. We want to try again to tackle those extra pounds that we have cumulatively put on each holiday season. We want to go at those piles that pervasively appear in each and every room of our house. We want to be better people; more giving, kind and loving. Many of us begin a new regimen of exercise and dieting, clutter control and clearing out, and even invest in pod casts, books and other things to help us think and act differently. Why then, is it so hard to stick to it? Why after a few days, a few weeks, or if your are really good, a few months, do we typically fall off the wagon?

In my post of two weeks ago, When Our Thoughts are a Train Wreck, I examined three mentalities, I believe, contribute to our inability to stick to our new habits. These three thought patterns include being self absorbed, demanding our rights and not caring. I’d like to reexamine these patterns and discuss ways to change our thoughts.

Being self-absorbed

As I mentioned in the original post, taking care of ourselves is not a bad thing. We need to exercise, eat right, get enough sleep and stimulate our minds to give ourselves the best life. Being self-absorbed revolves around a preoccupation with certain ideas about ourselves. These can include thoughts that we do not measure up to some invisible standard that we think other people have set for us, and self-degrading messages like, “I’m too fat,” “I’m not good enough,” which can lead to self-destructive behaviors like cutting, addictions and even suicidal thoughts.

We all have self-absorbed thoughts from time to time. It is easy to get into that mind-set when life is hard and things are not going well. It is also easy to dress in this mind set when your past holds tragedy and pain. However, life cannot be lived to the fullest if we allow those things to imprison us.

I am not a professional counselor, but I’d like to suggest a few things that can help us to get out of the self-absorbed mind-set.

1 - Get Moving

This is partly about exercise and partly about behavior modification. Often when we get into an anxious or self-absorbed circuit, we are unable to get out of the loop. Much like a hamster running on his little wheel, our thoughts keep coming back around to the same loop. We revisit the destructive thought, the let down feeling, the disappointment in ourselves or others and round and round it goes.

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It is a well known fact that exercise has good effects on our brains. From increased oxygen flow and release of hormones to antidepressant effects that reduce stress hormones, exercise really is beneficial for the brain. Movement helps to get us out of the loop. It doesn’t have to be rigorous exercise. If you are sitting down, stand up. If you are standing still, move. If you are going north, turn around and go south. Every time those thoughts come creeping back in, move.

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I find walking very cathartic, when I am stressed. As I walk I do deep breathing and I purposefully force myself to look at the world around me, the neighborhood, the people, the trees, the snow, the icicles hanging from the roof tops. These simple things get me out of my self-absorbed loop and help me to think about other things. It also reminds me that the world is not coming to an end, even if it may seem like it today. As Scarlet O’Hara said in Gone With the Wind, “Tomorrow is another day.”

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2 - Get help

You don’t necessarily need professional help, but if you do, or if others who care about you are recommending it, then do it. Otherwise, find a group of people to keep you accountable. Get an exercise and dieting buddy. Find someone who is going to accept you, but also encourage you to do better. Find an older person, who’s got life experience and ask them to mentor you and help you get out of your self-absorbed box. Or if you are an older person, who doesn’t have much human contact and your are still able to get around, volunteer at a dog shelter, a newborn unit at the hospital or a school. All of these things get us outside our own boxes.

3 - Seek and Speak Truth

You know all those side effects you think you have because you got on the internet and looked up the medication the doctor gave you?

“Stop it!”

In reality, the side effects that are put on medications are put there to keep pharmaceutical companies from getting sued. The reality is the statistics on people who die or have severe reactions to medication are rare. It is an exception, not the norm. The same is true for so many aspects of life. As the saying goes, “Sh-t happens.” This is true, but most of the bad things that we think are going to happen, don’t. In addition, many of the bad things that happen to us we bring upon ourselves. Start researching what is true.

In addition start speaking truth:

“I am not perfect, but I am beautiful.”

“I don’t have a college degree, but I am smart.”

“I haven’t published a book yet, but I am not a failure.”

“I got mad at my husband, but I am a good wife who has bad days.”

“I yelled at my kids, but I am a good mom, even when I my hormones have me off kilter.”

Keep it real.

Demanding Our Rights

Once again, having rights is not a bad thing and an ideal that our founding fathers believed was very important for communities and nations to survive and thrive. However, the thought that the world owes us something is not truthful or beneficial. The mentality of, get it all and get it now, is also not an accurate way to approach life. How do we cope with these entitlement feelings we all have struggled with and still act like a caring, giving individuals?

1 - Walk a Mile in Someone Else’s Shoes

There is no greater preventative to a rights demanding mentality, than to put yourself in someone else’s place. Being in the service industry I have seen people at their best and at their worst. I don’t even think people realize how rude and obnoxious they are at times. I have had helicopter parents demand that their child’s book be given to them free because it wasn’t on the shelf when they came in to purchase it. I have had people accuse me of racism because when I explained the parameters of their rental book I told them they couldn’t spill their lunch on it. I tell this to every individual I rent a book to. At the end of the day, I am just another person trying to make my way in the world, just like everyone else.

When I feel like my rights are being infringed upon, or that I am being taken advantage of, I try to look at things with new glasses; someone else’s glasses. Thinking about where another person is coming from, not only enables us to view the world differently, but it may even move us to have compassion on another person. You never know what another person is dealing with in their life. They might be dealing with deep hurt or disappointment, or they may be experiencing grief, illness or pain. Having compassion and empathy gets us out of our rights loop and enables us to be better, more understanding individuals.

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2 - Recognize Rights Mean Responsibility

Having a right, does not give us a free pass to do whatever we want. In fact, having rights, means having responsibility. People who are for the right to bear arms, understand that owning guns means they are responsible to handle those guns safely and teach others that gun ownership requires safe handling and being responsible to use them wisely.

Many people think that demanding rights is a way to guarantee their freedom to choose to do whatever they want. The opposite is, in fact, true. Having rights means we are enslaved to the responsibility of using those rights for good, not merely personal gain.

So what does this have to do with our thought patterns and becoming better people. My daughter and I have both struggled with our weight. We both love food, especially things that are full of carbs. Bread, sweets, chips are all on our radar of things we love. At one point my daughter said she wanted to be able to eat whatever she wanted. You might think that being able to eat whatever you want is true freedom. However, true freedom lies in the ability to make the better choice. Even if we were able to eat whatever we wanted and never gain weight, does that make it right?

True freedom is the ability to not be bound by our appetites, whether it be food, sex, money, popularity, alcohol, Netflix or any other thing that can become an obsession.

“To enjoy freedom we have to control ourselves.”

— Virginia Wolf

Not Caring

It is easy to get into the mindset of not caring. When life gets busy, or overwhelming, sometimes it is easier to just give up. Who cares if I eat that whole bag of Twizzlers? I don’t care if my coworkers like me? I’m failing that class, so what?

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Take a look at a few of these quotes:

“Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.”

— Margaret Mead

“Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you.”

— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“Without a sense of caring, there can be no sense of community. ”

— Anthony J. D'Angelo

It is important to care. Often, we just need to revisit the why behind the what. In other words, ask yourself why you should care.

Why should you care about your health? Because you are a valuable person who probably has others depending on you and who care about you.

Why should you care what your coworkers think? Because you are part of a team. You can have a positive impact on the people you work with if you care.

Why should you care about your grades at school? Because every choice you make now, will affect the choices you make in the future.

Start thinking about why you should care and maybe that will reignite your ability to care.

Next week will be the final installment in this series on New Year, New Mind. I’ll be looking at setting goals and how to realistically keep them. I will also have some spiritual insights as well. I hope you like this look at renewing our minds. Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below.

Have a fantastic weekend and to all my northern and midwest friends, stay warm!