Creative Christianity - The Widow's Quest: Part 1

The following piece begins a series based on the passage found in Luke 18:1-8. It presents a fictional account with allegorical aspects which coincide with the parable told by Jesus in those Scriptures. This is a fictional story with a world, and characters built by me. I hope you enjoy it.

Constance made her way through the narrow, muddy streets, thankful it was raining. A constant downpour washed away some of the surface filth making her feel there was a modicum of cleanliness here in the Rift. She kept her head down, the hood of her coat concealing her face. She didn’t want anyone to know where she was going. If they found out she was on her way to the Manor of Minward they would beat her until she was no longer recognizable. The Black Needles didn’t appreciate the people of their ward asking for help. They didn’t need help. They could make it on their own.

Image by Lucent_Designs_dinoson20 from Pixabay

Constance smirked beneath her hood. Neoplo “The Builder” De Caro wasn’t just known for building the run down, decaying ruins the people of the Rift had to live in, but for raising up the crime syndicate that preyed on the very people it was supposed to protect. She had seen enough; enough suffering; enough struggle; enough darkness. If the Lord of Minward was truly just, as she had often heard through her fourty-three years, why didn’t anything change? She was going to find out.

She was going to have to get past a few of De Caro’s check points. He wasn’t fond of people leaving his barony. He had an intricate web of knowledge woven together by his army of groveling lackeys. Constance learned from the time she was very young to blend in. She didn’t want to stand out. Being noticed by Neopolo, meant you became one of his, either that, or you conveniently disappeared. She felt bad for the younger people. De Caro’s appetite wasn’t just reserved for food and drink.

Constance felt bile rise in her throat, but she swallowed it, and clenched her fists. She wasn’t going to become just another of De Caro’s appetizers. She had to have hope; hope that the Lord of Minward would be able to make a change. Maybe he just wasn’t aware of how bad it was in the Rift. As the Lord of an entire city, he must be very busy, and maybe information wasn’t getting through due to De Caro’s influence.

The first check point loomed ahead. Her training in boiler maintenance should be able to get her through this one. She felt the tool bag by her side, then slid her hand into her coat pocket where the forged work papers printed on union stationary, and folded neatly, stayed dry from the down pour.

Image by Anna Veronika from Pixabay

Constance wasn’t alone in this quest. There were a few others who wanted a better life, and knew De Caro’s empire building wasn’t going to benefit them. She and Amos had formed a small group of other “believers”, which now was up to twenty members. They rarely all met together, but stayed in touch using messages sent via trusted couriers. Since the steam movement, and its subsequent advancements in communications, things like sending handwritten messages on foot had become obsolete. Now things were moved along through vast tubular networks both above and below ground pushed along by the compressed power of steam.

Amos had been like a little boy, completely enamored with the advent of the new Steam Era. He loved the machines, the gears, the noise and the power behind something so simple as heated water. She missed him terribly. It was coming up on five years since his death, but grief was relentless where darkness bred, and the Rift was a breeding ground for all that was dank, and miserable.

Image by Peter H from Pixabay

Constance took a deep breath and moved confidently to the first check point. Each check point held a small booth barely big enough for one person, but often occupied by several of Neoplo’s goons. There were three of them in this one. They were chatting and laughing. There were several other people in line.

When her turn came, Constance pulled the papers out of her pocket and quickly shoved them through the small opening in the window.

The man looked down on her, from where he sat in the dry, heated booth.

“You in a hurry there, lass?”

Constance wanted to quip back she was old enough to be his mother, but didn’t reply, just shrugged. She found the best thing to do was not engage. Once you started talking, they became interested. She waited, turning to look at the line that was forming behind her. That was a good thing. The more people waiting, the less time they would take to push you through.

The man stamped her papers and passed them back through the window. As she reached to take them, he wouldn’t let go. She looked up at his scruffy face.

Image by Sammy-Sander from Pixabay

“Smile, Sunshine. Life ain’t so bad. Doesn’t old De Caro take good care of his people?”

Constance swallowed the retort brewing in her gut, gave a shy smile and nodded her head.

“There we go! You have a good night now, lass!”

Constance placed the papers back in her coat pocket. As she walked away she let out a deep breath. One more check point to go.

A Look at Isaiah 9:6 - Part 3

I know Christmas is over, but I wanted to finish my little study of Isaiah 9:6. I thought it would be especially appropriate with all the unrest and war going on in the Middle East, and the Ukraine to pause on the last name named, the Prince of Peace.

“For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us;
And the government will rest on His shoulders;
And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Eternal Father, Prince of Peace..”

— Isaiah 9:6 (NASB 1995)

Looking at the word prince we get these definitions from Webster’s Online Dictionary: the ruler of a principality or state; male member of a royal family, especially the son of a sovereign. We can see by a few different scriptures that God is the King of Kings. God the Father and Jesus His son, while different are one in the same. What the Father owns, the Son has. The King and the Prince are head, rule and authority over all.

Image by Victoria from Pixabay

“16 On his robe and on his thigh he has a name written, King of kings and Lord of lords.”

— Revelation 19:16 (ESV)

“9 And the Lord will be king over all the earth. On that day the Lord will be one and his name one.”

— Zachariah 14:9 (ESV)

“13 I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, who in his testimony before Pontius Pilate made the good confession,
14 to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ,
15 which he will display at the proper time—he who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords,
16 who alone has immortality, who dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see. To him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen.”

— 1 Timothy 6:13-16 (NASB 1995)

When we refer to Jesus as the Prince of Peace we are speaking about His authority over all things peaceful. This not only includes written treaties between nations that can’t see eye to eye, but peace within each of us in our chaotic, and fluctuating circumstances. But what does the word peace mean?

Webster’s defines peace in these ways: a state of tranquility or quiet such as: freedom from civil disturbance, or a state of security and order within a community provided for by law or custom; freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions; harmony in personal relations; a state or period of mutual concord between governments; a pact or agreement to end hostilities between those who have been at war or in a state of enmity; used as a greeting or farewell.

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

The 1960’s and 70’s often used this symbol as a greeting or farewell. It was a way of wishing one another a life of peace and serenity. During those decades, there was unrest in the world and in our country. People did not believe we should be fighting in other people’s wars and protests were plentiful especially on university campuses. The problem that arose is those protests, meant to be peaceful and serene, often became violent, the exact opposite of what the protesters wanted.

We live in a world of unrest. As long as there is sin and darkness in our world there will be war, violence and tragedy. People can work for peace, preach for peace, make laws for peace, fly banners for peace, and have calm, dignified protests for peace, but there will be no peace without Jesus.

In John 16, Jesus is talking to His disciples. He is telling them that He is going to be going away. He explains, if He doesn’t go away, the Helper will not come. The Helper Jesus is referring to is the Holy Spirit. He goes on to say this Holy Spirit will convict the world concerning sin, righteousness and judgment. Without the guiding of the Holy Spirit, we will continue to live in our sin and selfishness and we will not know peace.

“33 These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.””

— John 16:33 (NASB 1995)

The wonderful words that Jesus shares with us are these, “I have overcome the world.” Jesus, our Prince of Peace has overcome this dark, and violent world. He has given us all that we need to have peace.

I want to share more on this truth of our Prince of Peace, so I am going to extend this to next week when I will share with you some of my favorite verses on peace.

Thanks so much for stopping by the blog. Have a great weekend!

When Darkness Comes - Wrap Up

We have been doing a series on when darkness comes into our lives. Darkness can be anything that you encounter that causes you to struggle, doubt or grow weary. From the very beginning we learned that darkness is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact when we read the creation account at the beginning of Genesis we learn that God created the darkness for our benefit. However, there are times when it seems that darkness has moved in to our lives like some sort of dank, slimy giant who is determined to make his new home with us. It seems that life will never know the light again and that the only thing we will know is that musty smell of wormwood.

Image by Rudy and Peter Skitterians from Pixabay

For this final post, I just want to review some of the things we learned over the last few weeks. It is rather apropos that in the midst of doing this series, I was blasted with a health crisis. It has stretched me to my limits. I know there are so many people who have had much more difficult health problems, but it is the incessant illness and the ensuing steps of trying to get things diagnosed, going to doctors, urgent cares and even the emergency room, still to no avail. The waiting; the not knowing; the feeling of hopelessness that things will ever get any better wears a person down.

The very thing that kept me going through all of this, were the lessons I had been learning previously when I was going through more of a mental and emotional crisis. That is what I have shared with you in this series. The verse that has kept coming back to me during the non-stop coughing, long nights of wheezing and not being able to sleep, and the not having answers is this:

“Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.””

— Psalm 27:14 (NASB)

All to often waiting is exactly that, waiting. It has more of a passive feel to it. There are times, where that is exactly what we need to do. However, many of the verses in the Bible that use the word wait, have an active voice. Waiting, involves, anticipation, expectation and even an element of seeking. Waiting is not for wimps! Why do you think the psalmist went on to say, “Be strong and let your heart take courage…”? He knew that waiting requires strength. I will leave that for another lesson. Today, I just want to review what we can take away from the series, When Darkness Comes.

1 - God created the darkness - The very first lesson in this series explored the truth, God created the darkness. While dark and light are no different to Him, He knew that our world and the people He created would need the darkness and its benefits.

2 - Darkness became associated with being bad when Satan challenged God’s authority - Remember, not only did Satan challenge God’s authority, but he was angry. In his anger he attacked God’s creation by tempting Adam and Eve to sin. It was after this event that the darkness became a place to hide and cover sinful deeds.

3 - God is in the darkness - No matter what dark days we are going through, God is over, under, around and within our darkness. The darkness is as light to Him, so there are no worries that He won’t be able to find us. He is right here with us.

4 - Being in the dark does not mean we did something wrong - God is sovereign and it is in this Lordship over all that He determines when and where we walk, and whether that way will be in the light or in the dark.

5 - When we are walking in the dark we need to remind ourselves of who God is - This is the first step in being able to dwell in the dark place. We have to remember who God is. A good way to do this is to write in a journal, but that is not the only way. Writing, singing, reading all help us to get back to the core truths in scripture about who God says he is.

6 - When we are walking in the dark we need to remind ourselves of who we are - We tend to put on false faces when we are going through difficulties. We tend to not want others to see how we really feel, or what we are really thinking. In order to dwell in the dark place, and even flourish in that darkness, we need to be honest about our feelings, and who God’s word tells us we are.

7 - There is a time when we need to reveal our true hearts - In other words, there are times we need to be starkly honest with God. Yes, He already knows what we are thinking and feeling, but we need to acknowledge these things out loud. Being able to vent our true hearts before Him is an important part of being able to survive a dark time.

8 - Growth, in a dark place, is directly related to letting God’s truth meet the raw edges of our ragged emotions - The scriptures are full of people with real emotions. David, Abraham, Moses, Paul and others didn’t just bring us the inspired words of God, but His truth, seasoned with their very own emotions. So much of scripture is meant for helping us deal, temper and work through our intense emotions. Letting His truth touch our emotions allows His Spirit to bring light to all of our dark places.

9 - Thanksgiving is essential to the growth process - There is a reason God said to give thanks at all times and in everything give thanks. Gratitude is the next step in allowing the darkness to empower, rather than overpower us.

10 - Dark places cannot remain dark when God’s piercing happens within our hearts - The process of going through these steps as we walk in darkness has the ultimate outcome of light coming in to the dark place. Truth, while not always pleasant, will always reveal. Obedience to God’s movement in the dark place will always open small windows that will let the light in.

I hope you enjoyed this series on When Darkness Comes and that by sharing my own process of walking in a dark place you will be better able to get through your own times of darkness.

Thanks for following along, on the blog. Have a great weekend.

When Darkness Comes - Part 10: The Beauty of His Piercing

As I bring this series to a close, there is still so much to learn and so much to share, but first and foremost, I want you to remember, when you are walking in darkness God is near. We saw how He hovered over the darkness of the deep at the beginning of creation, and how He is not only within the darkness, but He is in control of it. I want you to remember that whatever comes into your life passes first through the hands of the Almighty, and with that thought the reminder that His is good.

Image by Peter H from Pixabay

I have also been sharing with you my own experience of walking in the dark by sharing heart felt words written in my journal. As a believer, writer and person of deep emotion, I have found journalling a great way to work through hard times and even harder feelings. I want you to understand how important it is to acknowledge our feelings and bring them before the Lord. I want you to be able to throw off those false faces we so often wear, so that you can live a life that is as real and raw as possible. Life is hard, but our God is powerful.

In the Old Testament, The book of Exodus gives many details of the Israelite’s captivity by Egypt and the freedom following when God worked through Moses. It also gives many of the laws and ordinances they people of Israel were expected to follow.

““Now these are the ordinances which you are to set before them:

2 “If you buy a Hebrew slave, he shall serve for six years; but on the seventh he shall leave as a free man without a payment to you.
3 If he comes alone, he shall leave alone; if he is the husband of a wife, then his wife shall leave with him.
4 If his master gives him a wife, and she bears him sons or daughters, the wife and her children shall belong to her master, and he shall leave alone.
5 But if the slave plainly says, ‘I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not leave as a free man,’
6 then his master shall bring him to God, then he shall bring him to the door or the doorpost. And his master shall pierce his ear with an awl; and he shall serve him permanently.”

— Exodus 21:1-6 (NASB)

Image by Willi Heidelbach from Pixabay

As you can see from the passage, over the years, if a slave was treated well, he might begin to see his master as part of his family. When the time of his slavery came to an end, he could decide to stay with his master permanently. We might wonder why a slave would do this, but it makes sense. If the slave had come to take a wife and have his own family over the course of his confinement, he would be choosing between his freedom and his family, because the female slave he married, is still the property of the master. Choosing to remain with his master allowed him to stay with his family. When he made this choice, his ear would be pierced with an awl to show that he was permanently bonded to the lord of the house.

I love how the things God ordained and revealed in the Old Testament become analogies for our spiritual walk. The piercing of the ear showed a choice on the part of the slave to be permanently part of the household and family of the lord of the estate. In the same way, when we choose to allow God to pierce our hearts with the truth of His word, we become more invested in the desire, and work of the Master. Suddenly, the things that didn’t seem to make sense, become understandable. The darkness that seemed as though it would swallow us whole, becomes filled with pin pricks of light, creating hope in our weary hearts.

Image by Yuri_B from Pixabay

When I went through that particularly dark time a few months ago, I shared with you the process I went through as I wrestled with my own feelings and God’s truth. I have long struggled with my self-worth and self-image. We live in a world where comparison is the norm and no matter how often people say, “Don’t compare yourself to others,” “Get over yourself,” “You are being selfish if you have those thoughts and feelings,” or “You are unique and beautiful,” the fact is we still compare, feel bad about ourselves, guilty about what we did wrong, or didn’t do right, and all the other messages we hear. Only God can lift us out of the mire we and others have placed us into.

The morning after I had journaled all of those pages, where I ranted, acknowledged, remembered and ruminated, the Lord took His sword and pierced my heart. I woke up that morning, not really feeling victorious, but remembering I was waiting on the Lord in the strength of His might. I knew He would bring me out of that darkness when He was ready. I leaned into what I knew. Yes, I would have loved to have gotten up that morning feeling like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, but I didn’t. In addition to remembering what He had shown me over the last few days about His truth, I chose to focus on Him.

As I was putting on my make up, I decided to listen to a Beth Moore Podcast. The title of the podcast was Measureless Love, Part 1 (April 13, 2020). Why I picked that podcast on that day is a God thing. You see the thing I was struggling with the most was feeling loved. Yes I knew in my head my family loved me. I knew if I ever needed them, I could call on the friends that I have and they would be there for me, but still, the doubt that anyone truly loved me was like a disease in my mind. After all, I was not, nor ever would be, enough.

The fact that Beth Moore’s podcast was on God’s measureless love was no accident. What struck me was the idea, which Beth pointed out, that God is a God of measurements and preciseness. Think about the earth, sun, stars and other heavenly bodies. If our earth was just a smidge closer to the sun it would be too hot to support life. Just a smidge further away and it would be to cold to support life.

Look at these other examples in Scripture, of God’s precise measurements:

Image by Bruno /Germany from Pixabay

“Then God said to Noah, “The end of humanity has come before Me; for the earth is filled with violence because of people; and behold, I am about to destroy them with the earth. 14 Make for yourself an ark of gopher wood; you shall make the ark with compartments, and [m]cover it inside and out with pitch. 15 This is how you shall make it: the length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, its width fifty cubits, and its height thirty cubits. 16 You shall make a window for the ark, and finish it to a cubit from the top; and put the door of the ark on the side; you shall make it with lower, second, and third decks. 17 Now behold, I Myself am bringing the flood of water upon the earth, to destroy all flesh in which there is the breath of life, from under heaven; everything that is on the earth shall perish. 18 But I will establish My covenant with you; and you shall enter the ark—you, your sons, your wife, and your sons’ wives with you. 19 And of every living thing of all flesh, you shall bring two of every kind into the ark, to keep them alive with you; they shall be male and female. 20 Of the birds according to their kind, and of the animals according to their kind, of every crawling thing of the ground according to its kind, two of every kind will come to you to keep them alive. 21 As for you, take for yourself some of every food that is edible, and gather it to yourself; and it shall be food for you and them.” 22 So Noah did these things; according to everything that God had commanded him, so he did.”

— Genesis 6:13-22 (NASB)

“10 “Now they shall construct an ark of acacia wood two and a half cubits long, one and a half cubits wide, and one and a half cubits high. ”

— Exodus 25:10 (NASB)

“And you shall make an atoning cover of pure gold, two and a half cubits long and one and a half cubits wide. ”

— Exodus 25:17 (NASB)

“Moreover, you shall make the tabernacle with ten curtains of fine twisted linen and violet, purple, and scarlet material; you shall make them with cherubim, the work of a skilled embroiderer. 2 The length of each curtain shall be twenty-eight cubits, and the width of each curtain four cubits; all the curtains shall have the same measurements. 3 Five curtains shall be joined to one another, and the other five curtains shall be joined to one another. 4 You shall make loops of violet on the edge of the outermost curtain in the first set, and likewise you shall make them on the edge of the curtain that is outermost in the second set. 5 You shall make fifty loops in the one curtain, and you shall make fifty loops on the edge of the curtain that is in the second set; the loops shall be opposite each other. 6 You shall also make fifty clasps of gold, and join the curtains to one another with the clasps so that the tabernacle will be a unit.”

— Exodus 26:1-6 (NASB)

“4 Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell Me, if you have understanding,
5 Who set its measurements? Since you know.
Or who stretched the measuring line over it?
6 On what were its bases sunk?
Or who laid its cornerstone,”

— Job 38:4-6 (NASB)

I could go on, sharing passage after passage about God’s attention to detail, specifically to that of measurement. From laying the foundations of the earth, to the tabernacle to the temple, God is a God of preciseness…except in the area of His love. When it comes to God’s love, it is measureless.

“My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.”

— Ephesians 3:14-19 (The Message)

I typically don’t use too many different translations of the Bible. I prefer the New American Standard or the New International Version, but I wanted to give you a version of this passage that would drive the point home. In my opinion, this is beautifully written. Truly, the dimensions of Christ’s love are extravagant.

“11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him.
12 As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our wrongdoings from us.
13 Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
14 For He Himself knows our form;
He is mindful that we are nothing but dust.”

— Psalm 103:11-14 (NASB)

When God pierces our hearts, He drives home His truth to the extent that we cannot question its source or its author. God’s love for me is measureless. You know how I know this to the very core of my being? When I was in darkness, questioning the truth of love in my life, again, He took the time to orchestrate my circumstances to remind me, He loves me without measure, again. You see, he has done this for me before; not in the same way, but in a way that meant something to me. This time, it pierced me. When the piercing happens it cannot be undone.

Just like that slave, who chose to have his ear pierced with the awl, as a reminder to himself and everyone he chose to stay with his master, so too God’s piercing in our lives is a reminder, a place we can return to if we ever doubt.

Next week I will wrap this series up with a review. Until then, have a great weekend!

When Darkness Comes - Part 9: The Transformative Power of Thanksgiving

We all have heard the old saying that we are to have an attitude of gratitude. Most of us are aware of the difference a mindset of thankfulness can have on our thoughts, emotions and actions.

Image by Here and now, unfortunately, ends my journey on Pixabay from Pixabay

“Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.”

— Seneca

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings”

— William Arthur Ward

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.”

— Aesop

God’s Word is clear on the importance of giving thanks.

“in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.”

— I Thessalonians 5:18 (NASB)

Just as the Bible commands us to, “Rejoice always” (1 Thessalonians 5:16), and “pray without ceasing” (I Thessalonians 5:17), we are also commanded to give thanks at all times in everything. That means we are to give thanks when the darkness is upon us. We are to give thanks for it, in it and after it has left us. Why is it so important that we thank God when we are in the darkness? Let’s look at a few different reasons.

1 - It places us under His authority.

Image by David Mark from Pixabay

The act of remembering who we are and who God is enables us to have perspective. Being thankful places us in our correct standing before Him. Pride, which places us above God, saying we can get through this ourselves and we don’t need anyone’s help, especially His, makes us the authority and not God.

“Every person is to be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.”

— Romans 13:1 (NASB)

Knowing there is authority and actually placing ourselves under it are two different things. When we give thanks we recognize God as the one true authority.

2 - It places us under His protection.

“1 One who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
Will lodge in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
My God, in whom I trust!”
3 For it is He who rescues you from the net of the trapper
And from the deadly plague.
4 He will cover you with His pinions,
And under His wings you may take refuge;
His faithfulness is a shield and wall.

5 You will not be afraid of the terror by night,
Or of the arrow that flies by day;
6 Of the plague that [a]stalks in darkness,
Or of the destruction that devastates at noon.
7 A thousand may fall at your side
And ten thousand at your right hand,
But it shall not approach you.
8 You will only look on with your eyes
And see the retaliation against the wicked.
9 For you have made the Lord, my refuge,
The Most High, your dwelling place.
10 No evil will happen to you,
Nor will any plague come near your tent.

11 For He will give His angels orders concerning you,
To protect you in all your ways.
12 On their hands they will lift you up,
So that you do not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will walk upon the lion and cobra,
You will trample the young lion and the [d]serpent.

14 “Because he has loved Me, I will save him;
I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.
15 He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
16 I will satisfy him with a long life,
And show him My salvation.””

— Psalm 91

Why does giving thanks place us under His protection? The choice to be thankful requires a shift in our mindset. We know our Unseen Enemy loves to play mind games. If we are teetering on the edge of anger, bitterness, malice, wrath and other bad emotions, we are going to be more susceptible to making choices that are not for our benefit. Dark emotions are part of our sin nature, and very normal, but God does not want us to stay in those murky places. Staying there will result in our undoing.

3 - It lets in the light.

Giving thanks is like turning on a flashlight or lighting a candle when you are in a very dark room. When darkness is present in our lives and we are grieving, depressed, struggling, or lost, the choice to thank God allows Him to open the tiniest window into our shadowed world. You might not see the light right away. Often we become accustomed to the darkness and we might even forget what it was like to walk in the light, but light will always pierce the darkness.

When I was going through the dark time I have been sharing with you, I spent three days praying and journaling, most of which I have been sharing with you through these posts. On the last day, the last thing I did was lay before God the reasons I felt the way I did. There is a difference between acknowledging the emotion and knowing why we feel what we are feeling.

“Lord, perhaps what would help my sagging spirits is to confess to you all that is making me sad. I am sad...”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

I went on to tell Jesus, exactly what I was grieving over: my marriage, my family, relationships, being alone, my imperfections…the list went on. I ended that section with this.

Image by Christine Engelhardt from Pixabay

“So, I bring it all to You. The desires, the sadness, the disappointment. I bring it to You, and I choose to wait on You. I don’t know what to look for - a miracle? A rescue? A ta da moment? Whatever it is I trust You to bring it about. In the mean time I lean into Your strength and Your courage.””

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

However, I did not stop there.

“Now I need to give thanks.

I thank You, that the darkness and the light are the same to You.

Thank You, that as You hovered over the darkness of the deep at the beginning of Creation - You are here in my darkness - hovering over, beneath, beside and through.

Thank You, that while I do not have a friend right now to talk to or hang out with, I do have You.

Thank You, that You have shown Yourself to me since I was very young.

Thank You, that no matter what others say, You call me beloved!

Thank You, that I am not condemned, because I am in Christ Jesus.

Thank You, that as I choose to wait on You, You give me strength and courage. ”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

There was more on that list, and when I finished thanking God, I felt Him say to me, “You done good, now rest.”

Did I feel better? Not really, but I felt as though I had wrestled and wrangled. I wouldn’t realize the sword of the Almighty had pierced me until the next day. I’ll share that next week.

Until then, be thankful. God truly uses all things for our good.

When Darkness Comes - Part 7: Revealing our True Hearts

I have been doing a series on the darkness as it pertains to times of struggle in our lives. The last two posts revolved around truth; the truth we know about God and the truth we know about ourselves as seen in the Word of God. We cannot, however, have truth and not acknowledge the feelings and emotions that God created us with. As we saw last time, we often put on False Faces, so that we can cope and pretend the truth has penetrated our hearts, but in reality it hasn’t. I have been sharing my own experience with you, because through my own walk in the dark, I have learned that truth must be wrestled with before it can become a part of our inner being.

Image by Herbert Aust from Pixabay

God knows our delicate frame and also knows He gave us a mind that can think, reason and question. However, we must remember our minds were meant to be in communion with Him. The longer we let our minds dwell on what is false, hopeless and destructive, the less we will be able to recognize His truth. When we are walking in the darkness, there is no doubt, the Unseen Enemy will try to manipulate that shadowed path to his advantage. That is precisely why it is so important to stand on the God’s truth, but not just stand, we have to wrestle with it and allow Him to pierce our souls with it.

He has done that with me. Even as I type this, tears come to my eyes, because I realize, as an Almighty being, He owes me nothing. He has no reason to gift me His time or attention. He does so, because He chooses to. The incredible, lavish fact is, He chooses to do this, even when I am at my lowest, ranting about how unfair life is or how hard things are, or questioning impatiently when will this darkness end.

In order to get to this point of allowing God to pierce us, we must acknowledge our feelings, as ugly as they can be. Feelings are often tied to experiences, both good and bad. In my heart I have a room. Inside, there are shelves full of experiences, mostly those with other people. Most of these are bad experiences. When I feel bad, I unlock that room and I go inside, closing the door behind me. It isn’t a comfortable room, filled with fairy lights and comfy, overstuffed furniture. It’s more like an old attic, full of cobwebs, dark corners and lots of junk. I find a place on the hard floor and I start reviewing all that junk…all those times I yelled at my kids; all the angry words between my husband and I; all those feelings of never measuring up…of not being enough…of being invisible.

Image by József Kincse from Pixabay

Most of us have something like my attic room, where we revisit things that happened or didn’t happen. These are part of emotional make up of who we are and God is patient with us. He allows us those moments, but He doesn’t want us to stay there. Eventually, it would be nice if I could hand that key over to Him and walk away. I haven’t done that yet, but I am getting closer.

I am going to share an except from my journal, when I was revealing my true heart to God. I share these things, not to make you feel sorry for me or to make you think how hard I have had it, but I hope by being vulnerable with you, you will choose to be vulnerable with God.

“I guess what it comes down to, Lord, is I am sad that I am invisible. I know there are lots of people struggling with far worse things than feeling invisible. There are wives whose husbands are unfaithful; there are children whose caretakers are abusive; there are elderly men and women fading like an old photograph with no one to visit or care about their needs, or desires. There are people who have felt the pain of divorce, the death of a child or spouse...and here I am feeling sad...that I feel invisible.

But I would not be a healthy person if I did not acknowledge I am sad, and it hurts. It hurts to be forgotten; to have a face that is unmemorable; to have no voice except one that is deemed naggy, bitchy or emotional. I am only acknowledged when I mess up. I am only texted or called when someone wants something...””

— Amy's journal from 5/23/21

Image by Vojtěch Kučera from Pixabay

There are several things I want you to notice. I am acknowledging my feelings. I am unloading. I have remembered God’s truth about Himself and about me, and now I am letting Him know how I feel. My intellect knows what is true…I am not invisible. I have a family who does love me. I have friends…but the acknowledgement of feelings is so important in healing and in allowing God to bring His word into the deep places of our hearts. I go on to make this very point in my journal.

“Lord, I am venting. I know what Your word says. I am not invisible. Your word says You knew me before I was born. You know my thoughts from afar. There is no place I can go to get away from You. I am not invisible to You. (Psalm 139)”

— Amy's journal from 5/23/21

The other thing I want you to notice is that I recognize I am not alone in suffering. There are many who are suffering; many who have it far worse than I do, but that does not diminish my feelings or my need to lay those feelings at His feet. This is a process.

The next step follows: I recognize that some of my struggle is a result of sin, and the work of the Unseen Enemy.

“Lord, I ask Your forgiveness that I struggle with these feelings over and over. I should be mature enough to be so over it, but right now I am not. I am weak.

I ask for Your protection. I know my enemy would like to devour me, my family, but he cannot. Renew my mind, because I cannot. I choose to lean in to You; in to your comfort, mercy and grace; into Your sufferings. I embrace it all and I call on Your name...the name of Jesus, knowing He is the Great Warrior Prince and He will rescue me.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

Finally, I acknowledge the power and supremacy of the Almighty One.

“Thank you for You hem me in behind and before; that You are my rear guard; that You hold my hand and walk with me through every single valley. You are the Wonderful Counselor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace. You alone are the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/31

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Don’ be afraid to let God peer into the deepest places of your heart. Allowing Him access to those attic rooms will eventually bring about true renewal and cleansing. Wrestle with God’s truth. Tell Him how you really feel as you maneuver the darkness of your path. Let Him pierce you deep and He will bring you to new understanding and heights of His love.

Next time we will look at another piece of this refining process as we continue our journey in the darkness. I hope you are able to join me. Thank you for all your support and I pray God will become more real to you today than He ever has before.

When Darkness Comes - Part 4: Where is God in the Darkness?

I have been doing this series on darkness for the last few weeks. When I talk about darkness, I am referring to those times in our lives when it seems we are under thick cloud cover and cannot see or feel the presence of God in our troubling circumstances. I began the series with a look at the creation of darkness at the beginning. I relayed the idea that to God darkness and light are no different. I also covered the fact that God created darkness for our benefit. Last week I talked about how Satan, through his own pride and arrogance and the temptation of Adam and Eve, caused darkness to take on the characteristic of being bad; of being a covering for evil deeds and sinful people.

Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay

This week I want to look at where God is in the darkness. Once again, let’s start back at the beginning. You might wonder why I keep going back to Genesis. Genesis is the beginning of all that we know about God, and the history of humanity. I strongly believe if we do not understand the truth at the beginning of scripture, we will not fully understand the rest of it. I know there are Christians who do not believe in a literal six day creation. I do, and I also believe that the rest of our understanding of God, our standing before Him and our need for a Savior will not be complete if we do not trust in a literal creation. That is what I believe. How I study God’s word, and how I present it to you is based off of this foundational stepping stone.

God is Over the Darkness

“1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
2 And the earth was a formless and desolate emptiness, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.
3 Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light.
4 God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness.
5 God called the light “day,” and the darkness He called “night.” And there was evening and there was morning, one day.”

— Genesis 1:1-5 (NASB)

Image by Jakob Boman from Pixabay

As we saw in the first post from this series, God was hovering over the surface of the deep. The deep was a darkness; one that could only be plumbed by the Almighty Creator. Even now, with all of our technology, sonars, radars, remote controlled mini submarines, lights and so on, we still cannot plumb the deepest depths of the oceans.

“He also bowed the heavens down low, and came down With thick darkness under His feet.”

— 2 Samuel 22:10 (NASB)

Once again, we see that God is over the darkness. We might be tempted to think this darkness lies between God and us. We might even wonder if He can hear us through the thick darkness that keeps us from seeing Him, but let’s look further.

God is Within the Darkness

“18 And all the people were watching and hearing the thunder and the lightning flashes, and the sound of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking; and when the people saw it all, they trembled and stood at a distance.
19 Then they said to Moses, “Speak to us yourself and we will listen; but do not have God speak to us, or we will die!”
20 However, Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid; for God has come in order to test you, and in order that the fear of Him may remain with you, so that you will not sin.”
21 So the people stood at a distance, while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was.”

— Exodus 20:18-21 (NASB)

Image by jplenio from Pixabay

“He made darkness canopies around Him,
A mass of waters, thick clouds of the sky.”

— 2 Samuel 22:12 (NASB)

These passages clearly state God was in the darkness. In fact, the 2 Samuel verses says the darkness is like a canopy around Him. Since there is no difference to God between dark and light, there is no reason God would not be in the darkness, just as easily as He is in the light. Remember it was Satan’s pride and arrogance and Adam and Eve’s choice to disobey God that turned the darkness into something bad.

I believe there are several reasons, the Almighty wraps Himself in a cloak of darkness.

1 - The glory of God is too much for our eyes to look on. There is one passage in particular that I want to reference, but for the sake of space, I will not put it all here. Exodus 33 gives us much insight into God’s relationship with the people of Israel, but more specifically, with Moses. In verses 7-11 we see Moses regularly going into the tent of meeting, on behalf of the people. There he met with God.

“11 So the Lord used to speak to Moses face to face, just as a man speaks to his friend.”

— Exodus 33:11 (NASB)

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Adam, Noah, Moses and a few others were among those that actually met with God. Adam walked with Him in the garden. Noah did not have the same relationship with God that Adam and Moses had, but he was righteous and heard God’s voice. Moses met with God. Now, we do not know what this looked like, but it does say they spoke face to face, just as a man speaks to a friend. Perhaps this was the face of the Man Jesus. Perhaps it was another form that God took, but it was not God in His glory. If we read further, we can see this distinction.

“18 Then Moses said, “Please, show me Your glory!”
19 And He said, “I Myself will make all My goodness pass before you, and will proclaim the name of the Lord before you; and I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show compassion to whom I will show compassion.”
20 He further said, “You cannot see My face, for mankind shall not see Me and live!”
21 Then the Lord said, “Behold, there is a place by Me, and you shall stand there on the rock;
22 and it will come about, while My glory is passing by, that I will put you in the cleft of the rock and cover you with My hand until I have passed by.
23 Then I will take My hand away and you shall see My back, but My face shall not be seen.””

— Exodus 33:18-23 (NASB)

God wrapped Himself in darkness, because He is too powerful and brilliant for us to look on.

2 - Darkness represents mystery

Just as the ocean depths hold mysteries we have not yet discovered, the darkness surrounding God represents the depths of mystery we have yet to discover about Him. We might think, why does God keep Himself a mystery? Why doesn’t He just reveal everything to us, so that we know Him fully. Look what happened to Adam and Eve when they decided to eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. With our limited ability and our sinful nature, are we really ready to plumb the depths of an almighty being?

“He made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He set forth in Him,”

— Ephesians 1:9 (NASB)

God reveals the mysteries of His layers, according to His good pleasure. I will discuss this further in a future post.

3 - Darkness makes us vulnerable

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This is the scenario: it is night. The darkness is like a veil hanging over the pathway on which you have to walk. Your flashlight only illuminates the path under your feet. A part of you refuses to shine the flashlight out into the surrounding woods, because you are afraid of what you might see. You walk as quickly as you can from your camp site to the bathroom just on the other side of the woody patch. As you walk your pace quickens turning into a jog. You can feel the darkness closing in around you, but you can see the lights of the bathroom just ahead. You break into a full on run and feel sweet relief when the bathroom door closes behind you. Little did you know, the evil was waiting in one of the stalls.

Obviously, I just made this up, but how many of you have felt this feeling, whether it was in a camp ground after dark in the middle of the night, or walking through your own house searching for the sound you swear you heard when you were laying in bed? Darkness makes us feel vulnerable. When we cannot see what the darkness holds, our minds begin to create all manner of serial killers, monsters and ghosts that might be waiting in those dark shadows.

Why would God then, hide himself within the darkness? Why would He ask for this type of vulnerability? If we study His word we see many of the men and women He used were drawn from positions of vulnerability. Think of Noah (Genesis 6-7): vulnerable to the taunts and ridicule of the evil society around him; Moses (Exodus 2): vulnerable to the threats of Pharaoh; David (1 Samuel 17): vulnerable to a giant named Goliath; Esther (Esther 4-7): vulnerable to her husband the king; Daniel (Daniel 1): vulnerable to the rulers of a foreign land…and of course Jesus, who chose to become a vulnerable human baby.

The darkness reminds us that we are not God. We are weak and lost without Him. Even when we have the light of His word and His spirit within us, we still fall prey to our fear of the darkness and the vulnerability it causes.

God Controls the Darkness

There is one last thing I want to cover in this post. As believers you are probably familiar with the characteristics of God of omnipotence and sovereignty. Omnipotence means all powerful and sovereignty means supreme power. In other words, God is not only all powerful, but all things come through His hands before they come to us.

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“19 Then the angel of God, who had been going before the camp of Israel, moved and went behind them; and the pillar of cloud moved from before them and stood behind them.
20 So it came between the camp of Egypt and the camp of Israel; and there was the cloud along with the darkness, yet it gave light at night. Therefore the one did not approach the other all night.”

— Exodus 14:19-20 (NASB)

The people of Israel experienced the movement of God as He protected and led them with a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. The cloud also came along with the darkness. God was able to maneuver the darkness to be where He wanted it to be. He even showed the clouds and the darkness to be a protection for His people.

God is intimately acquainted with the darkness you are going through. He is above it. He is within it. He is in control of it. The problem with darkness is not God, it is us. How we respond to the darkness that comes into our lives will set a precedent for every dark and cloudy day that comes our way.

Next week I am going to begin looking at what our response should be when darkness comes. Be sure to stop by then.

Have a wonderful week.