Our Unseen Enemy - Part 4: The Liar - Lies About God

There are two books I want to recommend right off, before I even get started. I have been through both of these books as part of a women’s Bible study at the church we used to attend. These are excellent books, both by women. I referred to Lies Women Believe: and the Truth That Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh Demoss, last week. The other is Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer. I am not receiving any compensation to recommend these books, I just believe they are two of the best books on this topic of lies of our enemy. I will definitely be using some of the same ideas as Nancy Leigh Demoss’s book and I want to say that at the outset. I would have never gotten to the point in my walk with Christ that I am at if it weren’t for the teaching and wisdom of other believers.

Let’s start by taking a look at why Satan would seek to discredit God. He can’t possibly think it will make any difference in the long run. Of course not, but remember we are dealing with a creature who is full of pride. Even though he knows the ultimate outcome is his demise, I believe he is seeking to take as many unbelievers down with him as possible. I also believe, he finds great joy in every failure on our part as Christ followers. Can’t you just see him, “Ha! You are a failure! So much for being bought with the blood. So there!”

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Let’s take a look at some of the main areas where Satan lies with regard to God’s character and His relationship with His creation.

Earth’s Origin

Image by Colin Behrens from Pixabay

You might wonder why I am delving into this particular lie. I believe when we don’t adhere to the Biblical teaching of Creation, we set ourselves up for additional problematic issues concerning other truths that the scripture teaches, the first being the omnipotence of the Almighty God. As my husband always says, “I don’t know why God took so long. He could have created the whole world and all that is in it in six seconds!” I try to reassure him God did it for our benefit, because only one second of sleep would certainly not be enough. Ha. ha.

“In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth”

— Genesis 1:1 (ESV)

“And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.”

— Genesis 1:31 (ESV)

Why would this lie be so important to Satan and what does it mean with regard to God? Taking away the dignity of the creative effort with regard to humanity takes away the dignity of the human being. Why do we have issues with race and hatred? Could it be one man believes he is more “evolved” than another. What exactly was Hitler doing when he condemned millions of Jews to concentrations camps? What about the whole history of slave trade. Black slaves specifically, were looked at and talked about as being less “evolved”, even by people who called themselves Christians.

If you don’t believe Satan is involved in this lie, then take a deep breath. Do you smell that? Doesn’t it smell like pride? Isn’t pride the very thing that brought our enemy from his lofty position to a place of “going to and fro on the earth…” Pride can be blatantly worn on the sleeve in the form of white supremacy, or it can be as subtle as the thought, “They are not the same color as me, so they must not be as smart as me,” or “They live in that part of town, so they must be criminals.” By believing the lie that the earth evolved over millions and millions of years, we deny the most beautiful part of being human, the imprint of God on our very beings.

God’s Goodness

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When God created the world, He “saw that it was good.” It was good, because the Creator was and is good.

“Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in the way.”

— Psalm 25:8 (ESV)

“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!”

— Psalm 34:8 (ESV)

“Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O Lord!”

— Psalm 25:7 (ESV)

“And he said to him, “Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments.””

— Matthew 19:17 (ESV)

While the Bible does not have a ton of verses that say specifically that God is good, it does contain plenty of verses that show the results of God’s goodness.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

— Romans 8:28 (ESV)

“For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving,”

— 1 Timothy 4:4 (ESV)

The reason Satan focuses on God’s goodness is simple. If we question His goodness, then we will begin to doubt His love. When bad things happen we are all tempted to question whether God really has our best at heart, this is a result of questioning His goodness. The problem with that is, our doubts about God’s goodness do not change the fact that He is good.

There is a place where a choice has to be made to believe what God says. Faith is the tool that enables us to take the step out into the unknown. Choosing to believe, when the tsunamis of life assail on all sides, is the process that takes us into the deeper layers of God. You see, God’s characteristic of goodness does not change. He is fully good, all of the time. The only thing that changes is our perception of Him. If we allow pain, tragedy and discouragement to become the focus of our thoughts, we slowly begin to believe the lie, that God is not really good.

“Listening to counsel or ways of thinking that are not according to the Truth is the first step in developing wrong beliefs that will ultimately place us in bondage. Once we have listened to the lie, the next step toward bondage is that we . . . DWELL ON THE LIE.”

— Nancy Leigh Demoss - Lies Women Believe: and the Truth that Sets Them Free

God’s Authority

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This is an area that Satan has done intense work to spread the lie that God is a tyrant and does not truly love His creation. The very essence of secular humanism is to take away authority from a good and sovereign God and give it to the created being. While humanistic ideas such as equal treatment of all individuals, looking out for the good of others and being involved in entities that help others are good and needed parts of society, the more militant secular humanists, insist that we are perfectly capable of muddling through life without a tyrannical God looking over our shoulders waiting to squash us the very moment we mess up.

Just like a young person begins to question the ideas and authority of his/her parents, when humanity begins to question and cast aside the authority of God, he/she becomes a chaotic tangle of questions, emotions and doubts. When Satan steps in during these vulnerable times, it is easy for the teen, or other seeking individual to look to places, teachings, people and experiences that have nothing to do with a Holy and loving God. From there it is just a step into beliefs and mindsets that are either destructive or at the least blinding. During these times, many people would rather believe the lie, that they themselves are the ultimate authority, than believe there is a God who is bigger than they are.

Just like with God’s goodness. The fact that people choose to not believe in God’s authority, does not make it disappear. God was, is and always will be the One who has complete control over the whole picture. We may think it is our vote that determines the outcome of the upcoming election, but God has already determined the outcome. Does that mean we just don’t vote, or get involved? Certainly not. Everything in this life is allowed by the authority of the Almighty God, yet He gives us the freedom to make choices.

“And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.”

— Matthew 28:18 (ESV)

Who was it that gave Jesus “All authority…?” It certainly wasn’t Satan, and it wasn’t Aristotle or Socrates. God the Father gave His Son, all authority in heaven and on earth. Only one who has ultimate and full authority could give another deity, ultimate and full authority.

God’s Intimacy

Image by My pictures are CC0. When doing composings: from Pixabay

While there are many other lies our unseen enemy bombards us with about God I only want to look at one more. This one, I believe, is important to us as Christ followers. When I was a child being taught Bible stories in Sunday School, my teachers talked about “asking Jesus into my heart.” I wanted Jesus to be in my heart, because then I knew he would always be with me. When I got older and learned more about God, I began to see that He didn’t just want to be in my heart, He wanted to have a relationship with me. I surrendered my life to Christ when I was 12 years old, but it wasn’t until I was a senior at Moody Bible Institute that I realized God didn’t just want a relationship with me, He wanted to be intimate with me. This came about in a counseling session with a theology instructor, who helped me to understand, that my father issues with my own dad (he was somewhat distant and uninvolved in my life as a young person), were affecting my understanding of God.

Now, before some of you start accusing me a blasphemy, saying that a Holy God would never assume an intimate relationship with his creation, let me take you back to the Garden of Eden.

“8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.
9 But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”
10 And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.”
11 He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”
12 The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.”
13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.””

— Genesis 3:8-13 (ESV)

God walked in the Garden. He talked to Adam and Eve. I have to believe that this was a regular occurrence. If God had simply created them, gave them a few instructions and then left, I don’t think we would see this conversation play out the way it did. He speaks to them gently. He already knew what they had done, but like a gentle parent he coaxes the truth out of them and then delivers the consequences.

I know that we must have respect and “fear” towards this Almighty, Omnipotent being. He made us from dust and to dust we will return, but I also see repeatedly throughout His word, His desire to have a relationship with us. Satan will say there is no God and there is no greater being who controls the things that come in and out of our lives, but the truth is, He is! The last thing Satan want for you and I is to be an Enoch.

“Enoch walked with God, and he was not, for God took him.”

— Genesis 5:24 (ESV)

“By faith Enoch was taken up so that he should not see death, and he was not found, because God had taken him. Now before he was taken he was commended as having pleased God.”

— Hebrews 11:5 (ESV)

A number of years ago I did a Beth Moore Bible study (I don’t remember which one, because the work book has been packed away), but she talked about how Enoch walked with God. Enoch’s name means dedicated, trained or diligent. Beth, who is an avid student of the Hebrew roots and meanings of words explained that Enoch’s name conveyed the idea of narrowing. As he walked with God, his focus narrowed, so that his main desire in life was to please and glorify God. Can you imagine how much demon butt we could kick if we were more like Enoch?

I hope you are learning and enjoying this study. Be sure, our unseen enemy does not want you to benefit from this study. He wants you to remain focused on the pain in your life and not the God in your life. The truth: God is the Omnipotent Creator of the world, God is good, God is the true Authority and God desires to have a relationship with you.

Have a good weekend!

May the Source Be With You: A Woman, a Well and some Water

I was going to start a series on the devil, but I am going to put that off for a week or two. I was doing my devotions the other day, when I came across something I thought may be more helpful for today. I know all of us are struggling with the chaos that we call “the new normal.” None of us really wants to have to deal with the ripple affects of a pandemic, but we are.

Image by David Mark from Pixabay

With the advent of fall we are seeing universities and schools struggling to stay in session. My husband’s university has 60% of their classes online, or hybrid, which is an online, face to face combination of teaching. It has most of the faculty and staff feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. I know the same is true for my grandson’s elementary school as teachers and staff try to deal with technology glitches and having live stream school sessions that last from 9 in the morning to 3:30 in the afternoon. His school is hoping to go to a hybrid plan next week, where students will attend school two days and have three days off. I can’t even imagine how hard this is for everyone. We are not able to go places, see extended family and have regular meet ups with friends at coffee shops or bookstores.

In addition to that, incidents of protests, riots and violence across our country continue to take place. We are heading into an extremely volatile election and the silencing of many with contrary views to the underpinning current of anti conservative voices is leaving us feeling exhausted, anxious and hopeless.

When I read this verse and Oswald’s accompanying devotion, I realized that no matter what happens in the world around us, we are always at liberty to return to the Source

“Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’””

— John 7:38 (ESV)

If we believe in Jesus, we have the source of living water. If you take the time to read the story of Jesus and the Samaritan women here in John 4:7-41, you will see this idea of living water spoken of previously by Jesus. This woman who came to the well, knew what hardship was like. She was not only a Samaritan, who the Jews did not look favorably on, she also had been in a number of relationships that went haywire. As Jesus pointed out, she had had five husbands and the man she was currently living with was not her husband.

It was not coincidence that brought her to the well at the exact same time Jesus came to quench his thirst. We can learn a lot from this passage, so let’s take a closer look.

Jesus took the initiative.

“A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” ”

— John 4:7 (ESV)

Under normal circumstances a woman was expected to do a man’s bidding. Not only that, but the woman would have had a vessel of some sort, something she could carry water in, making it easier for her to draw water. For Jesus to tell her to give him a drink, would not have been unusual. However, the fact that He was a Jew and she was a Samaritan, made it completely abnormal that Jesus would talk to her, let alone allow her to give him a drink.

She knew her place.

“The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.)”

— John 4:9 (ESV)

This woman wasn’t in denial. She knew that Jews did not like Samaritans. She also knew she was a woman in a man’s world. Her response to Jesus was’t one of bitterness or snippiness. I believe she responded with genuine surprise. She restated something both she and Jesus already knew.

Jesus got right to the point.

“Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” ”

— John 4:10 (ESV)

Jesus didn’t argue with the woman about whether she should draw water for Him. He immediately began to tell her about what He had to offer her…living water.

She knew history.

“The woman said to him, “Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? 12 Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.”

— John 4:11-12 (ESV)

Image by Yoosaf Abdulla from Pixabay

Just in case you are wondering, the Samaritans were Jewish descendants from the tribes of Joseph’s sons Manasseh and Ephraim. They were all descendants of Jacob. The main source of contention between these two people groups revolved around the chosen place to worship God. They were considered mongrels by the Jews due to their being descendants of Jews who had been in captivity in Assyria. In truth, they were all Jews, in the same way today’s term Christian includes both Protestants and Catholics.

Jesus used a physical object to explain a spiritual truth.

“Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.””

— John 4:13-14 (ESV)

Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

Often when Jesus was teaching he would speak in allegorical pictures. In this particular instance He is describing the relationship with God that all can have, if they just drink His truth. From personal experience, I know this to be true. I have never known anything nor anyone to satisfy like Jesus. Yes, I still walk in this flesh and it craves all sorts of things from clothes to chocolate, but those splurges almost always leave me feeling dissatisfied. Only the time spent with Him in prayer, study of the word, journaling, ranting or singing truly makes me feel full and complete.

You see, the water that Jesus offers to give us is no ordinary spring. It is a spring from an unlimited source and it bubbles eternally. There is no end to this source of living water. It is both unlimited and fulfilling. You might be wondering, how can it be both limitless and yet give complete fulfillment? What would be the point of it being unlimited, if we only had to drink from it once and have our thirst forever quenched? We will get to that in a bit.

Right response, wrong reason.

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“The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.””

— John 4:15 (ESV)

The woman’s response is one of desire. She wants this living water, but not for the reason Jesus offered it to her. She wasn’t looking beyond her immediate circumstances and comfort. She wanted the water she thought He was offering, so she would never have to worry about coming to the well again. My suspicion is, she was not always looked upon with kindness in her daily journey to the well. It would have been so much less trouble if she never had to go to the well again.

Nothing is hidden from Jesus.

“Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” 17 The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; 18 for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.” ”

— John 4:16-18 (ESV)

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If the Samaritan woman had been alive today, she would have been wondering if Jesus was part of the CIA or MI6. She would have immediately started looking for hidden cameras and microphones. However, those types of technology didn’t exist back then and even if they did, there was no reason to spy on a middle aged Samaritan woman who was having a string of bad relationships.

The woman was paying attention.

“The woman said to him, “Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. 20 Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.”

— John 4:19-20 (ESV)

I believe this woman was rather intelligent. She knew the history of her people, the Samaritans, but she also knew the beliefs of the Jews. Perhaps she is trying to direct the conversation away from the spotlight Jesus has shone on her personal life, or she may actually be curious to know what His opinion was on the point of contention between her people and His. She seems to me, a curious and articulate individual.

A prophet and so much more.

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“Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. 22 You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. 24 God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.”

— John 4:21-24 (ESV)

The next few sentences Jesus articulates, open a window of knowledge to the woman. I absolutely love how Jesus, in this passage is affirming the value of women. Not only is He speaking to her, even though she is a Samaritan and He is a Jew; He is speaking to her like he would speak to a man. He is giving her an opportunity that many in that time period would not have had. He is giving her a peek into the future. He is also giving her a one on one theology lesson.

Jesus plainly states that things are not going to remain as they were. A day was coming when neither the Jews or the Samaritans would be worshipping in the temple nor on the mountain. If you know anything about Jewish history, you know that is true. In addition, Jesus instructs her that soon all true worshippers would be worshipping God in spirit and in truth. I believe he was giving her a little look into the coming of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. (This is just my opinion. You can find a much more knowledgable opinion in Matthew Henry’s Bible Commentary, here.)

She believes in the Messiah.

“ The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things.” ”

— John 4:25 (ESV)

This woman has faith. She believes the Messiah will come and that when he does, he will explain everything.

Jesus makes a declaration.

“Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am he.””

— John 4:26 (ESV)

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I will continue with this passage next week, but what I want you to take away from this week’s portion is these ideas:

1 - Nothing happens by chance. Jesus knew he would meet this woman, in fact it was known from the foundation of the world.

2 - He knows everything about you. I know as a woman, I have always had this romantic desire that the man who loved me would study me. He would know everything about me, from the tiniest wart on my toe to the grandest dream I have ever had. My hubby is a good guy and I love him dearly, but he ain’t no Jesus. He is fallen and flawed just like the woman he married.

3 - Women and their desires and dreams are just as valuable and important to Jesus as men.

4 - Only Jesus can provide the living water. All of our efforts to satisfy, get by, pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps, and so on only lead to exhaustion, anxiety and discouragement.

I hope you will join me again next week for the rest of the story. Have a great week.



Be Encouraged! Remembering Jesus.

During this time of unrest, pandemic chaos and general fear I have been trying to focus on encouragement. We all need encouragement in difficulty and this is no exception. We do not know what each day will hold, whether it be the boredom of the same old routine and not being able to travel, visit or just enjoy those things in life that involve being around other people, or it may be the fear of having to go to your job as a server, retail worker, or essential worker. We do not know when we might get into a volatile situation arising from misunderstanding or the tensions of racial disparity and lack of options for communicating clearly and with kindness. Whatever, you are facing today, I hope this post will bring you back to center and remind you why you can be encouraged.

Image by Silviu Costin Iancu from Pixabay

Last week I did a post called, Be Encouraged! Remembering God. If you haven’t read that post just click on the link. I looked at four reasons we can be encouraged by remembering who God is. This week I would like to look at who Jesus is and why these characteristics can be a source of encouragement.

Jesus is fully man.

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Why would the fact that Jesus was a man be an encouragement to us? His humanity proves He is completely able to understand our humanity. Think about what it took for Jesus, who is equal with God, to become a man. It would be like you or I decided to become an ant. Becoming a man took Jesus from the realm of heaven where He is an all powerful being, God’s only Son, to a realm where He was confined and felt hunger, fatigue, pain and even sadness and fear. Obviously, Jesus was still fully God and how the two of these things worked together is a mystery, but they did. Jesus gets you!

“And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

— John 1:14 (NASB)

“For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus,”

— 1 Timothy 2:5 (NASB)

“but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.”

— Philippians 2:7 (NASB)

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.”

— Hebrews 4:15 (NASB)

I love the photo above. I think this statue of Jesus with the children, really shows His engagement as a fully human individual. He is on their level, talking to them and acknowledging their value and worth. Just think what a better world we would be living in, if we all engaged with each other in this way.

Jesus is fully God.

Image by Karin Henseler from Pixabay

This is an encouragement to me, because all that Christ did as man would be nullified, if he wasn’t also, fully God. Being God, He was there at the beginning when the world was formed into existence and life was breathed into man. Being God, He was present in heaven when Satan decided he too wanted to be as powerful as God. Being God, He knew the depth of the power and glory being this divine individual gave Him, yet, He gave it all up to do His Father’s will and to save us.

“For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily,”

— Colossians 2:9 (NASB)

“I and the Father are one.”

— John 10:30 (NASB)

“For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell,”

— Colossians 1:19 (NASB)

“He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high,”

— Hebrews 1:3 (NASB)

Jesus does what we can not.

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There are many things Jesus does that we can not, but I wanted to look at three and talk about why remembering that can be encouraging to us.

1 - Redeemed - the word redeem means to free from captivity by payment of a ransom. When sin came into the world, we were all under the penalty of that choice in the Garden, the penalty of enslavement to Satan and eventually both physical and spiritual death. When Jesus died on the cross for our sins He redeemed us. He bought us out of captivity and set us free.

“Christ redeemed us from the curse of the Law, having become a curse for us—for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”—”

— Galatians 3:13 (NASB)

“so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.”

— Galatians 4:5 (NASB)

“who gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds.”

— Titus 2:14 (NASB)

When we were under the thumb of our enemy we were slaves to fear, anxiety, frustration, anger, hate, deception and numerous other feelings and emotions that kept us bound. If we are redeemed by Jesus we are free of those things. We have a choice to not be held captive by the darkness of evil.

2 - Justified - The word justify means to show to be just or righteous. When we decided to believe that Jesus is our Lord and Savior, He immediately justifies us before His Father. He shows His Father His nail pierced hands, and feet and his sword pierced side and God recognizes the sacrifice made and the blood spilt for our sakes.

“being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus;”

— Romans 3:24 (NASB)

“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,”

— Romans 5:1 (NASB)

“Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him.”

— Romans 5:9 (NASB)

Image by Lisa Johnson from Pixabay

3 - Sanctified - This word means to set apart and free from sin. It is my belief that redemption is a one time event, when we put our faith in Christ, where as, sanctification is ongoing. Jesus continually frees us from sin. We are able to sin less and less, because of this act of sanctification.

“For by one offering He has perfected for all time those who are sanctified.”

— Hebrews 10:14 (NASB)

“By this will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.”

— Hebrews 10:10 (NASB)

“Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.”

— John 17:17 (NASB)

Redemption, justification and sanctification are all part of the enveloping love of Christ. Knowing that He did, does and will do these things gives me great comfort. I do not have to strive to be perfect, His blood has made me so. This leads me to the final point I want to make.

Jesus’ peace is perfect.

Probably the thing we are struggling with most during this difficult time, is the ability to have peace. Peace is not something that comes easily. Most often we have to fight for it, just like over the centuries we have had to fight for the freedoms and peace of nations and peoples. However, peace is definitely something worth fighting for. In a spiritual sense, peace must come from a source, much like a lake, river or stream is only full when it is fed, either by rain showers or a hidden spring. Our hidden spring is Jesus.

“You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.”

— Isaiah 26:3 (ESV)

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.””

— John 16:33 (ESV)

“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

— Psalm 4:8 (ESV)

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

— Romans 5:1 (ESV)

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

I have found the best way to have peace during troubling times is to redirect my thoughts from the overwhelming deluge of media voices and turn them back to Jesus and His word.

“4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.
5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;
6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

— Philippians 4:4-9 (ESV)

Be encouraged, God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ is with you and they do not change. Their care is constant, their love is sure, their forgiveness true, and their peace unfathomable. Draw on it.

Be Encouraged! Remembering God.

I am really struggling with so many different things, that I am not sure what to write about. Being a faith based blogger means that many people will simply overlook my blog, because they have no interest in anything having to do with religion. I can understand that, because my husband watches a plethora of YouTube videos on survival, boxing and other “manly” types of topics. He has no interest in fashion, so why would he stop and read a fashion blog. The same is true for faith based topics. Why would a person stop to read a chapter in the Bible when they have no interest in what is written there? Why would a person read a cook book, who could care less about learning how to cook?

Image by James Lee from Pixabay

As Christians, I think a lot of us are struggling with how to respond to the goings on in our world right now. I know I am. How do I instill courage when we are faced with people dying from a virus that we still know so little about? How do I know the difference between what is real news and what is made up just to get a reaction? How do I talk about race and injustice, when what I say might be taken as racist or unjust? These are all questions I have asked myself over the last few months.

I know I am just a small blog with only about 250 subscribers. I don’t do much with affiliates and retailers to promote products and make money. Sure making money would be great, but the purpose of my blog has never been about making money. The purpose was to encourage. I think we all could use a big dose of encouragement right about now. I realize I won’t reach a lot of people and that is okay, but maybe I can reach you. Maybe you need to hear something I am going to say today, or maybe this is just God’s way of enabling me to cope.

What do I do when I am upset? I write. Here are a few things I know I need to hear right now, and maybe you do too.

God is in control.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

This may seem a bit unsettling to you. You might be thinking, well, if He is in control then why is there so much bad stuff going on? However, the facts are this, God is bigger than all of us and all that is going on. He is the Creator. He formed the world from nothing and spoke with just a few words the entirety of the natural world. When he was finished with all of that, He decided the natural world needed a caretaker and He created man and woman out of dust. Yes, you heard that right, dust. After they were formed into what we now know as our human bodies, He breathed life into them. Just a simple breath gave us life. If you think an almighty being like that doesn’t have this all figured out already…well, you have a few things to learn.

“29 Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.
30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
31 So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.”

— Matthew 10:29-31 (NASB)

You are known.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

It is very easy to forget this in the bumbling chaos that we call life. When you are young, you have your whole life ahead of you, with countless opportunities. When you become an adult maybe you decide to marry and have children and you suddenly have more to worry about than just yourself. Life becomes a tangled dance of crazy schedules, conflict, and unmet expectations. The things you might have learned as a child, somehow, disappear along the way and you suddenly feel like you are handling all of this alone, and you have forgotten who you are, but God knows you. He has been there from the moment you were conceived. In fact the psalmist states,

“Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.”

— Psalm 139:16 (NASB)

God doesn’t get weary.

Image by Hebi B. from Pixabay 

I don’t know about you, but I am tired; tired of reading and hearing about the virus; tired of hearing people argue about politics and social issues; tired of having to be careful everywhere we go; tired of not being able to go see our extended family or get together with friends. I may be tired, but the one who holds my hand and hems me in behind and before, is not.

“ 28 Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.”

— Isaiah 40:28-31 (ESV)

God is always present.

Image by Sarah Richter from Pixabay

God is always with us. He doesn’t wander off to get a drink, or take a nap, or go do His laundry. He is a being that is both eternal and omnipresent. He is not confined by space or time, nor influenced by the mistakes of the past or the foreboding of the future. He is constant and His presence is with us both continually and continuously.

“9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.””

— Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

The above verse is one of my favorites. I love that God reminds Joshua ( and us), that it is a command to be strong and courageous. We are also commanded to not be frightened or dismayed. The word dismay means to lose our courage. God then gives us the reason we are not to be fearful or lack courage, but strong and courageous, because He is with us wherever we go.

“17 The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.”

— Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV)

The following quote is from My Utmost for His Highest:

“Having the reality of God’s presence is not dependent on our being in a particular circumstance or place, but is only dependent on our determination to keep the Lord before us continually. Our problems arise when we refuse to place our trust in the reality of His presence.”

— Oswald Chambers - My Utmost for His Highest - July 20

If we do not believe in the reality of His presence, we will never know that His is present.

God doesn’t change.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I am often in need of hearing this. With life all around us rapidly shifting and changing, it is good to know that He is a constant in our lives. Our God isn’t changed by pandemics, natural disasters, social unrest, war, political elections or upheaval.

“8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”

— Hebrews 13:8 (NASB)

“19 God will hear and answer them—
Even the one who sits enthroned from of old— Selah.
With whom there is no change,
And who do not fear God.”

— Psalm 55:19 (NASB)

“14 “And to Him was given dominion,
Glory and a kingdom,
That all the peoples, nations and men of every language
Might serve Him.
His dominion is an everlasting dominion
Which will not pass away;
And His kingdom is one
Which will not be destroyed.”

— Daniel 7:14 (NASB)

I hope that these verses have reminded you of how loved you are and that by following Christ, you are standing on a foundation that is unshakable.

Thanks for taking a few minutes to stop by the blog. Have a good day. Keep laughing and keep looking up.

His Purpose, My Benefit

Most of us go through life thinking we have some semblance of control over what is going on around us, but I am sure if we didn’t realize it before, we now realize we really don’t have control over anything other than ourselves. We may not even have much control over that, to our dismay. Let’s face it, we don’t control the weather, the traffic, the price of gas or groceries, or the reaction of the drivers in front or in back of us. As we have learned in the last few months we can’t control a virus like COVID-19, at least not yet. While it is true we have found cures, vaccines and preventatives for many diseases in the past, we do not have control over what disease will pop up in the future and wreak havoc on our world, just like COVID is doing now. Wouldn’t it be nice if life and our world came with a reset button? Just flip the switch and everything will be like new.

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. ”

— Romans 8:28 (NASB)

The verse we are looking at today is a more well known verse in the Christian community. Even people who make no claim to Christ as their Savior understand that even bad things have a purpose and can bring about a greater good. Look at a natural disaster like a forest fire. The fire, while devastating in its initial claim on natural life, also serves as a catalyst for rebirth and growth. Some of you may know that certain pine cones only open to release their seeds during times of great heat, like that of a fire.

Image by Henryk Niestrój from Pixabay

Let’s take a closer look at the truth found in this single verse.

And we know…

It says that we know. Our knowing had to come from somewhere. Where did it come from? The knowledge talked about in this verse is knowledge given by God, through Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We do not find this knowledge in a book, other than the Word of God and we will not find this knowledge in the most scholarly universities. We gain this knowledge as we sit in His presence.

“Cease striving and know that I am God;”

— Psalm 46:10(a) (NASB)

…that God…

I am choosing to give this two word phrase a place of its own because of the importance of this Being who is present. God is here. He is active. He is not just sitting around, He’s involved. His presence is with us through every trial, difficulty and trouble. You and I are never alone, when God is near.

“The Lord your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.”

— Zephaniah 3:17 (NASB)

Image by Yuri_B from Pixabay

…causes…

God is the one at work here. He is a God of action. His movements are not known to us, but they are done for us. This is not to blame God for all the terrible things that happen. There is the matter of sin and free will. However, God is able to take all of it, the good and the bad and move it, creating a new thing entirely.

“for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.”

— Philippians 2:13 (NASB)

…all things…

Let me clarify this for you. The word all, means everything. There is not one thing that God is not aware of or involved in. The good, the bad and the ugly are all things, things that He is able to change into something else.

“I will cry to God Most High, To God who accomplishes all things for me.”

— Psalm 57:2 (NASB)

…to work together for good…

All these things that God is aware of and involved in; these things He is causing to work together for good. Like the raging flame blows its heat consuming the tree that bears the cone, is needed by that very same cone to reseed the forest, so too God uses the heat of the flames of difficulty to work for our good.

You might be wondering at this point, what is the good that He is working out, if our loved ones are gone and our jobs are forfeit? What is the good when our marriages crumble and our children walk away from all they’ve been taught? The good is His good. He uses those flames and that heat to bring new birth to our souls, if we but let Him do it.

“28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.””

— Matthew 11:28-30 (NASB)

…to those who love God…

This then becomes the most important question. Do we love Him? As Jesus asked Peter by the sea of Galilee, “Do you love me?” If we truly love Him, our lives will be consumed with His will and His good. We will see that He alone knows what is best and what is best is walking with Him, abiding with Him and tending His sheep.

“He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?”
Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?”
And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.”
Jesus said to him, “Tend My sheep.”

— John 21:17 (NASB)

Image by Jeff Jacobs from Pixabay

…to those who are called according to His purpose.

What is this purpose we are called to? To be like Christ.

“15 but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior;
16 because it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.””

— 1 Peter 1:15-16 (NASB)

But not only that, it is our purpose to glorify Him.

“6 In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials,
7 so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;
8 and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,
9 obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls.”

— 1 Peter 1:6-9 (NASB)

In addition it is our purpose to be obedient.

“16 Rejoice always;
17 pray without ceasing;
18 in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

— 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NASB)

God’s purpose is our benefit. To make us more like Christ, to honor and glorify Him is the greatest benefit we can receive.

His Rock, My Foundation

I get the feeling, the Lord would have me spend a few Wednesdays redirecting us towards Him. Yes, when we are studying His Scriptures we are directed towards Him, but in my experience nothing is quite remembered as well as a song. I grew up in a Bible church. We sang all the old hymns from Great is Thy Faithfulness and Amazing Grace to When Peace Like a River and The Old Rugged Cross. These old hymns became part of my foundation and reinforced everything I was learning in Sunday School, church services, Pioneer Girls and youth group.

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Last week, the Lord brought to my mind, that old hymn, May the Mind of Christ My Savior, as a way to convey truth and encouragement during these difficult days we are walking in. This week, it seems that He has led me to another older hymn and I want to share that with you this week.

During this time it can be especially difficult to have hope. When we look at the long term ramifications of the virus and its ripple effects, things can be pretty daunting. When I went with my daughter to the grocery store today, I think we both felt tired and didn’t really want to put on a mask, but we did. It was weird, awkward and uncomfortable, but we kept them on, even though the majority of employees weren’t wearing them and many customers as well. When I got home I had to drag the groceries onto the back porch, where I then proceeded to spray and wipe down every item with a bleach solution before bringing it in the house. By the time I was done, I was emotionally and physically spent.

Image by Mimzy from Pixabay

You know, we can all throw our little platitudes out there about how we are strong and we will get through this and so on, but this is real folks. People are dying. People are very, very sick and not a day goes by that I don’t wonder, is someone in my family going to get this; is someone I know and love going to die from this? I don’t know about you, but I am struggling to just do the tasks that need to be done, let alone, start a cleaning project or start prepping my flower beds. I try, but this is hard. I have loved ones and extended family who do not know Jesus and my heart aches for their salvation, so that, not only are they assured of eternity with Him, but of strength to get through hard times like these. Perhaps that is why Jesus brought this song to my mind yesterday.

My Hope is Built on Nothing Less

Lyrics by Edward Mote, Music by William Batchelder Bradbury

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name. 

Refrain:

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
  All other ground is sinking sand.

2

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

Refrain

3

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

Refrain

4

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
In Him, my righteousness, alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Refrain

I would like to look at each of these verses quickly and really think about what the author of these lyrics was saying.

Image by congerdesign from Pixabay

Verse 1 - I wonder if the author was struggling with a difficult situation, because he starts this song off with this exclamation, “My hope is build on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.” What our world is going through right now is the perfect example that we can put our hope in our money, in our strength, in our loved ones, in our jobs or in our futures, but in a matter of a few weeks, it can all be taken away. Why do we build hope on things that are so easily destroyed? We need to build our hope on the rock that is higher than I. We need to place our hope on Jesus Christ, His birth, life, death on the cross and resurrection from the dead. That is the only foundation that cannot be taken from us.

The author includes in this first verse the idea of trust. Again, what or who are we placing our trust in? Our good health? Gone. Our investments? Shaky. Our relatives and friends? Unavailable. The stark truth of this virus is, if you get it you go into quarantine. If you get worse, you go to the hospital. If you continue to go downhill, you are in ICU. In the end, if you die, the only people with you will be nurses, if even that. Not that they wouldn’t if they could, but we know our health care workers are barely keeping their heads above water when it comes to this disease. The only One we can trust to be there when we die is Jesus.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”

— John 3:16 (NASB)

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Verse 2- There are times in our lives that all seems hopeless. Even we as Christ followers are struggling to have hope during this dark time. It seems that darkness is hiding our Lord’s face and we are wondering where He is. This is why it is so important to know Him. I don’t mean knowing Him as a historical figure who went around saying a few good things. I am talking about really knowing Him, as in having a personal, intimate relationship with Him.

In the original Hebrew language the action of having sex with a person was described as “knowing” or “to know” them. The intimacy of the sexual act is the same intimacy with which we are to know our Savior. If you think that is weird or gross, then you have a little ways to go, to truly understand and put your trust in this one whom we call Lord.

The author of the song, knew during dark times he could “rest on His unchanging grace.” He also knew during the storms of life, and yes there will be plenty of storms, his anchor would hold. You see, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit do not change. They remain the same from the beginning of our time to the end of it. As we come to know Him more deeply, we realize life on this little jewel is only a piece of a much more amazing life we are meant to live: the life we are meant to live with Him.

“If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.”

— John 14:3 (NASB)

Image by rear_window_00 from Pixabay

Verse 3 - “His oath, His covenant, His blood…” Note, it is not our oath, our covenant nor our blood. The faith that we have is not placed in ourselves, but in Jesus. Sure we can do many things in our own strength and I know there are many people who are getting through this storm maneuvering their own life boat, but it only takes one wave to turn our little boats upside down into shark infested, storm ridden seas. It is this inevitable possibility that makes placing our faith in Him so important.

The author goes on to say, “When all around my soul gives way…” Have you felt that way? Like the very ground underneath your feet is moving and rolling. I have never experienced an earthquake, but I imagine it is an indescribable experience. That is how I would describe my feelings a few years ago, when going through a particularly hard time. Life suddenly looked very different from what I thought it was going to. My being hurt to the very core of my soul, so when the song writer talks about the world around his soul giving way and Jesus being His hope and stay, I get it.

“In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace”

— Ephesians 1:7 (NASB)

Image by David Mark from Pixabay

Verse 4 - This culminating verse gives us hope and victory in our Lord Jesus Christ. When that trumpet sounds, if we are found to be in Him, if we have believed in who Jesus said He was and in what He did, then in His righteous we will be able to stand before the throne of God.

With the uncertainty of life ahead, don’t you want to be sure of life in Him?

Here is a great version of the hymn. Enjoy!

My Mind, His Mind

I am taking a break this week from our study of Romans 8, to talk about fear. There is a lot of fear going around right now because of our current circumstances. Knowing there is a sneaky virus out there that could, in fact kill us, is just a bit unnerving. I know many of us are trying to be positive and continue on as if everything is normal, but let’s face it, this is way beyond normal. Not only are there fears over the possibility of contracting COVID19, or someone we know and love getting it, but the economic repercussions are astronomical and I think are going to affect our country for a while.

I know of many people, including our own family who have been affected by the virus economically. Small businesses, like the one my older daughter has are taking a big hit. My younger daughter, who had to make the transition from in class college to all online college, also lost her serving job, which was a big chunk of her income. We are not alone. I know of others, even in health care who have had their hours cut back or have been let go all together, because their specialties are not needed right now. Will everyone have jobs to return to once this is over? Who knows.

What about our country as a whole. We have had it easy for so long and as much as the government says they are going to help with unemployment, stimulus checks and so on, where exactly are they getting all that money from? So many, many questions and we aren’t even past the point yet where we can let our guard down with regards to the actual virus.

So how do we keep from getting overwhelmed? I’d like to share a few things that help me when I am going through tough times. I hope they will help you as well.

Image by Ebowalker from Pixabay 

1 - Feel the fear.

God gave us emotions and they are all good, since He is the one who created them. Fear, anger, joy, sadness, all have their place in our lives for us to be healthy individuals. When my father passed away fourteen years ago, I had to go through the grieving process. The best thing to do when encountering emotions we don’t like is allow yourself to feel them. I have used this analogy on the blog before, but think of emotions in terms of a blanket. When you start feeling an emotion like sadness or fear or anger, take that blanket and wrap yourself up in it. Allow yourself to feel afraid, sad or angry. Do this for a few minutes. If it helps, take an actual blanket and wrap yourself up in it. After a few minutes, take the blanket off, fold the blanket up, and move on to the next thing. Think of folding the blanket as if you are packing that fear or sadness away. You can always take it out again later, but allowing yourself to feel it, experience it and then pack it away, helps you to process more volatile emotions in small bits.

Image by Susanne Pälmer from Pixabay 

2 - Exercise.

I have noticed a lot more people out walking since the start of Ohio’s shelter in place order. Moms, dads and kids are all out walking trails at the park or just walking the neighborhood. This is so good for us. It not only serves the purpose of getting our heart rates up, it allows us to breath fresh air and get out of the house. I know for many of us, this time of year can be tricky because of the weather. We have rain, gray overcast skies and wind more often than sun and that can make getting out for a walk much more difficult. If that is the case try doing some indoor exercises as a family. Play a vigorous game of Simon Says or follow the leader all through the house.

Image by Kerstin Riemer from Pixabay

3 - Schedule alone time.

With social distancing in place, this might seem strange, but hello, we are now at home all the time with our kids or with our spouses. If that doesn’t drive you crazy, nothing will. It is especially important if you are an introvert or someone who needs a regular routine. My husband thinks that being home means I am available to talk to, look at something on YouTube or hang out with whenever he wants. That makes it a little difficult for this introvert and writer. I spent the last two days trying to get two writing pieces finished as I had a deadline. I got the job done, but it is definitely harder without a routine.

Mom’s you need that alone time, whether it is to take a long bath, read your Bible or watch a show on Netflix. If dad is home, ask him to hang with the kids so you can have some sanity time.

Image by Peggy Choucair from Pixabay 

4 - Make memories.

A friend of my daughter’s and mine has been using this time to schedule special events with her kids. She has been sharing her ideas on Facebook and it looks like they are having a blast. She even turned the house into a Cruise ship, complete with boarding passes, dining assignments, entertainment and of course fun foods. What you do with your family during this time has the potential for very good memories, even if it is something as simple as a game night.

Image by Uwe Jacobs from Pixabay 

5 - Fill your mind from the right fountain.

Reading article after article about the virus, our economic situation and so on is not good for you. There are plenty of other good things to fill your mind with. Music, books, fun shows, all can keep your spirits up and keep you centered on the positive. Being thankful is a must during this time as well.

I’d like to leave you with an old hymn. I remember singing this song in my classes when I was at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago, IL. Most classes started with a song and a prayer. I had one particular teacher who loved this song and had us sing it quite often. When I came across it the other night, I realized just how perfect it is for our current situation. Enjoy!

May the Mind of Christ My Savior (Lyrics by Katie Barclay Wilkinson, Music A. Cyril Gould)

1

May the mind of Christ my Savior
Live in me from day to day,
By His love and pow’r controlling
  All I do and say.

2

May the Word of Christ dwell richly
In my heart from hour to hour,
So that all may see I triumph
  Only through His pow’r.

3

May the peace of Christ my Savior
Rule my life in every thing,
That I may be calm to comfort
  Sick and sorrowing.

4

May the love of Jesus fill me,
As the waters fill the sea;
Him exalting, self abasing,
  This is victory.

5

May I run the race before me,
Strong and brave to face the foe,
Looking only unto Jesus
  As I onward go.

6

May His beauty rest upon me
As I seek the lost to win,
And may they forget the channel,
  Seeing only Him.

Lessons from Loss

I’ve decided to take another week off, before getting back to my series on Godly traits. On Monday my daughter texted me that a woman from our former church had died unexpectedly. I was in shock. Mary was only a few years older than me. She had five grown children, a devoted husband and her first grandchild, a girl, whom she adored. She was dearly loved, not only by her immediate family, but by siblings and church family and friends. What really floored me, and many others, was the fact that last summer Mary had gone into the hospital with a lung infection. After months in the hospital and rehab, she seemed to get better. She got to go home and resume a somewhat normal life. Not long after life started having some semblance of normalcy, Mary lost her sister to cancer, this was just last month. Last week, Mary ended up, back in the hospital and Monday morning she died.

Sweeny family. Mary is in the middle with her husband Paul. My daughter took these pictures this past spring. Photo credit Rebecca Trumbull.

I felt myself questioning God. Why, Lord? Why? This was a beautiful woman; one of your sheep, who loved and gave and was gracious. She was a beautiful soul, inside and out. She loved her family and took others in as if they were part of the family. She exuded the peace that passes all understanding and I would often see her posting quotes from Ann VosKamp’s One Thousand Gifts on being thankful. The funny thing was, I didn’t really know Mary that well. We moved in different circles as our kids were growing up and while we went to the same church, we weren’t able to spend vast amounts of time together. However, I still feel this loss. It is as if in a galaxy full of stars, Mary’s shown so brightly, that the burning out of that star affected the whole universe.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I am not sharing this with you to look for sympathy. This was a tragic and unexpected loss, but what I wanted to do was use these musings as a branch from which to tie a rope, take a leap, swing out and fall into the river of God’s grace.

How do we deal with these things? How do we get past the shaking of the fist towards the sky, to the questioning why, to the acceptance, to the choice to believe that He is good, no matter what, to the final step of lifting our hands in praise, adoration and thanksgiving? Two words come to mind which I have used on the blog before, baby steps.

Image by Barbara Jackson from Pixabay

A baby does not learn to walk immediately. It is a process. They reach, they scoot, they rock, they roll, they crawl, they grab, they pull themselves up, they move around the furniture and eventually they let go and take those first steps. Those first steps aren’t perfect, but they are full of enthusiasm. When we are new in our relationship with Christ we are full of enthusiasm. We want to tell the world what He has done, not only for us as individuals, but for the whole world. We want to share the good news that Jesus loves the unlovely, rescues the drowning, lifts up the cripple and fully redeems that which was completely lost.

Then life happens. We experience disappointment, pain, heartbreak and loss. If we are being honest with ourselves we do not like these things and many of us probably thought when we came to Christ that it was going to be smooth sailing. How very wrong we were. If anything, it seems, at least for some, that we are being shot at by the biggest guns available on a US battleship. Worse yet, we might be getting hammered by friendly fire, while well intended, completely misses the mark and wounds us instead of helping us out.

So how do we approach loss without losing our faith? How do we endure pain without giving up hope? How do we continue to walk when we are clearly wounded and would rather lay down and die?

One baby step at a time.

Baby Step 1 - Shaking fists and questions.

Image by Niek Verlaan from Pixabay

God is much bigger than we are. He created us and He knows our frame is but dust. As the Creator he manipulated that dust, breathing life into it. Don’t ever think, He doesn’t get it. He most certainly knows our weaknesses, our pit falls and our innermost feelings. You might not be literally shaking your fist at Him, but He knows what you are thinking on the inside. Sometimes it is okay to get mad, to raise our hands, not in praise, but in frustration, anger and pain. The key is to not stay there. It is okay to say:

I don’t get it.

It’s not fair.

Why? Why? Why?

I don’t like you right now?

It hurts and you let it happen.

That is exactly how I felt about Mary’s death. She was a vibrant woman and God let her die. I couldn’t help thinking, there are thousands of others, suffering with debilitating illnesses, pain and complete loss of ability to remember their own families or even how to use the bathroom. Why not take one of them? Why not relieve someone else of their burden? But He didn’t. He took Mary.

It felt wrong to have those thoughts and feelings, but they are real, visceral, but real and doesn’t God know that? He gave His own Son to suffer and die. He knows loss. He knows pain. Jesus knows loneliness and abandonment.

This is an absolutely acceptable part of grief. Whether your loss is the death of a loved one, an unfaithful partner, a divorce, a rebellious child, a parent going through Alzheimers, or the loss of a long time job, it is okay to feel anger, and it is okay to question why.

Baby Step 2 - Wear the blanket.

Image by Katrina_S from Pixabay

When my father died back in 2006, I distinctly remember walking in a fog. Life just seemed rather cloudy and my brain felt full of cotton. Often when we grieve we think that the best thing for us is to throw ourselves back into life, subduing the overwhelming sense of loss to a dull ache. In most cultures the process of grief is much more elaborate and loud.

In 1985 I spent a summer in Africa. During that time, I got to experience a true death wail. It was unnerving as a group, of mostly women, wept and wailed and cried over a baby who had tragically passed away. This was no reserved whispered ceremony. This was a loud progression of frenzied sobs and tears. They let their expression of the sadness they felt erupt into the still, dark night, like a mass of molten lava pouring out of a volcano.

While I do not expect that, here in our US of A, we are going to start doing a death wail, it is good to allow ourselves to feel grief. I truly believe wrapping yourself up in the blanket of grief every once in a while, helps you to heal faster. If putting on a real blanket helps with the symbolism, go ahead. However, you do it, take some time to feel the sadness and the pain. Cry, sob, moan and even wail. It’s okay. Then when you feel a bit of relief, put the blanket away and go live life. Eventually, you will find, you don’t need that blanket quite so often. Eventually, you will be able to put it away, all together.

Baby Step 3 - Choices.

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The best way to handle making choices during a time of grief is to choose slowly and thoughtfully. Don’t rashly give up your faith. Don’t decide to sell everything you have, join a commune and move to Tibet. Don’t start drinking. Don’t obsess on your loss. The greatest mistake we make when we are in the throes of grief is to think we are okay and we can handle this on our own. It is important to choose to take care of ourselves and to allow people to take care of us. We were not meant to be islands. We are supposed to live in community with others. In fact you might find there are others who have already been through the grief process before you. They can help, if you let them .

In addition, choose truth. Often we question whether God really loves us when someone or something has been taken away from us, but if we keep our eyes on scripture we will remember verses like:

“The Lord appeared to him from afar, saying, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness.”

— Jeremiah 31:3 (NASB)

“nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

— Romans 8:39 (NASB)

“Finally, brethren, rejoice, be made complete, be comforted, be like-minded, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.”

— 2 Corinthians 13:11 (NASB)

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,”

— Ephesians 2:4 (NASB)

God does love us and He always will. He will always be there for us, even in the midst of trial and grief.

Baby Step 4 - Take Action

Image by Olya Adamovich from Pixabay

Once we have worked through the emotions of anger, pain and sadness we can begin to, once again, take action. Action might start out with something simple like getting out of bed, taking a shower and getting dressed. Eventually, you might be able to go out and take a walk or meet a friend for coffee. Down the road, you may make it to church and then out to do something fun again. Your loved ones would not want you to stop living life. Besides it is in the choice to start living again, that God reveals His most precious and magnificent promises.

After I found out Mary was gone, I knew my sadness and shock was not as sharp as the edge on the sword her family was and is feeling right now, but I also felt that God had let me down. I prayed for Mary’s healing and He didn’t come through. That evening, my husband and I took a walk. I looked up at the expanse of night sky and heard His voice saying, “I’m still right here.”

Wow! That was just what I needed to hear. He is still right there and He always will be. He is there for us to lean on, pound on and depend on no matter what and knowing that is sometimes all we need. When I realize He is really all I need to get through, I am able to raise my hands in praise to Him and I can start remembering what I am thankful for.

My friend Mary was a Christian. She is with Jesus now. She is also with her mom and her sister who went before her. She left behind a legacy of love, and friendship for her family and her friends. The world is a more beautiful place because of her and I can be thankful that I knew her.

A Lesson in Weaving

She watched her through the open window that looked down on the small balcony. The young girl looked out over the river that lazily wandered past the castle. The child was hers, but she was no longer looked like a small girl. She had grown in those years she had been held captive by the enemy lord. She felt a lump in her throat that she could not swallow. The girl, her girl, didn’t want anything to do with her, her very own mother, nor her grandfather, the King.

Image by DarkWorkX from Pixabay

When they had first found her in the enemy’s castle she was like a caged animal. The room they found her in was filled with waste and squalor. The girl did not recognize her mother at first and when she tried to take her in her arms, which ached to hold her again, the girl screamed. That scream had pierced her soul. They were finally able to get her out of the castle by coaxing her out with sweets. The thought of it still made her shudder.

Eventually, the girl saw that they were not going to hurt her and in fact were going to provide for her pretty clothes and good food, things that she hadn’t gotten when she was a captive, but still, she kept asking when she could go home. It galled her to think her only child thought of his palace as her home, even after how she had been treated.

A noise from behind her caused her to turn. Her father, the King, approached. He put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze.

“Father, I don’t know what to do. I feel absolutely helpless…I know she is hurting, and probably angry at me. I let it happen. I let her get caught by that evil man. I am to blame and now, I can’t even look at her without feeling utterly hopeless.”

The King took in a deep breath and let it out very slowly. She often saw him do this when he was thinking before he spoke, a practice he always thought wise.

“Daughter, you know how very much I love you, so I can understand those feelings of helplessness and even hopelessness. Did you know that I could not sleep at night when you were being courted by your late husband? It terrified me to let you go, knowing each step you took towards independence took you further and further away from me. But, I had to learn to trust the One. I knew that He would always take care of you, no matter where you were. Even when I eventually sent you into battle.”

Image by Enrique Meseguer from Pixabay

She pulled away from him, suddenly feeling angry. “This is not a simple courting session that my daughter went through. She was beaten, starved and we don’t even know yet, if he did other vile things to her. She was just a child. Was the One with her, when that was going on, or has He abandoned her…has He abandoned us?”

The King sat heavily in a chair that stood near the fire burning cheerfully in a brazier. He pulled the footstool in front of him and patted it.

Once again, he wanted her to sit, to listen, to learn from him.

As she did so often, she began to pace. “No! I am not going to sit at your feet, like a little child and have you explain to me, how I need to trust the One. He let my little girl get hurt. He let her get caught by that vile enemy.”

“Now wait a minute. Is it your fault, or is it His fault?”

She stopped and stared. “Well…I….I….I don’t know! All I know, is that little girl is not the same person I knew before she was taken.”

“Are you the same person you were before she was taken?”

She inhaled, trying to practice the same technique he did, not speaking until she was sure she was in control.

“No. I am not.”

He patted the foot stool again and smiled.

Reluctantly she sat.

He leaned forward and took her hands in his own large ones. She could feel the callouses there. He was no show piece. He was a king who fought and bled beside his own men for the causes he believed in. How could he keep his calm demeanor? He always seemed at peace, no matter what.

“How do you to it? How did you send me into battle, knowing full well, I might never return?”

“Do you remember how your mother used to love to weave tapestries?”

Image by MrsBrown from Pixabay

She smiled, remembering her mother, the Queen working tirelessly into the night weaving various colored threads together. “She used to hang it, so that when we came into the room, we could not see what the finished picture would be.”

The King let out a chuckle. “Oh yes. Once time I tried to sneak in when she was away and she had the loom booby trapped! I suddenly found myself doused by a bucket of honey mead. I couldn’t get the flies away from me for weeks.”

She laughed, remembering her father taking bath, after bath, after bath, but unable to get the sweet ale completely washed out of his hair.

He squeezed her hands. “Your mother always had a purpose for everything she did. Why do you think she presented the tapestry to us only from the back side, until the work was done?”

She shrugged. “I had always assumed she just loved the surprise on our faces when we finally saw it.”

“Oh there was definitely that! However, in addition to that she wanted to remind us of what real life is like.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Life is made up of all manner of threads, some beautiful colors and others dull and even ugly. If you didn’t know that the front of the tapestry was going to be made into a beautiful work of art, you would have thought the piece merely an ugly, jumble of random colored threads and knots where the threads had been tied off. It is that jumbled mess that makes up our lives. The ugly threads and the beautiful ones are all necessary to make the completed picture.

The One is weaving those threads. He is making all of it, even the threads we don’t understand or want to understand into a picture of such great beauty that it will be declared a masterpiece, when we finally see the finished product.

Your mother was an artist and she taught you those same skills before she passed on. What are you going to do with your threads? You can use them to create beauty, or like our now dead enemy, you can use them to weave chaos.”

The King leaned forward and kissed her forehead, then he rose to his feet and quietly left the room.

She stared into the fire, that slowly claimed the fuel it was burning. The fire was chaotic, yet it served a purpose to provide warmth and cook food. It was even beautiful in its dance of flame. Could it be, her father was right; that beauty could come from the chaos of life?

She knew what she had to do. She would teach her daughter the loom. She would teach her the dance of light and flame, darkness and chaos and pray the One would bring healing and beauty for them both.

This is a fiction piece by Amy D. Christensen

In 2010 Ravi Zacharias wrote a book titled, The Grand Weaver. It was this book and the images he shared of God being the grand weaver of our lives that inspired the imagery revolving around the tapestry in this story. If we can grasp His divine plan for our lives, in which He uses all the good, the bad and the ugly, how much easier would it be to let Him have control. I hope you enjoyed this story.

You can see the previous parts to this story by clicking on the links below:

Part 1: Return to Battle

Part 2: A Father’s Perspective

Part 3: Waiting

Part 4: Ready to Die

On Focus, and Ignorance, During Hard Times

I decided to take a break from the Traits of a Godly Person series for this week. There are so many things going on in our world, and I often wonder should I talk about some of the more difficult issues. I like my blog to be a place of encouragement, whether it is to dress better or to grow in your walk with Christ. However, there are people out there, some of whom might be following my blog, that need a different kind of encouragement.

Life really can be stinking hard! Relationships are complex and often the source of our deepest and darkest pain. More often than not, people who are going through great difficulty do not feel at liberty to talk about the situations they are facing, which means, they are not getting any support or encouragement. People who are going through great loss, also, don’t always feel free to talk about their grief and pain. I’m not really sure, how we got to this point. Why is it that we are afraid to let people know that we are not okay? Why do we hide our pain behind a smile and tell everyone who asks that we are doing fine? Maybe it has to do with not being able to express the deep pain and sadness we feel. Perhaps we are afraid that others will think less of us, if we show them our reality. Maybe we are just too dang tired from trying to cope, that we’d rather not put in the effort to explain all that is going on.

Image by lisa runnels from Pixabay

I think there is something much deeper and darker going on when we are struggling. Obviously, I believe in a real God and a real devil. I believe that Satan is our enemy and he is out to kill and destroy.

“Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

— 1 Peter 5:8 (NASB)

Image by steffenwienberg from Pixabay

Our enemy is compared to a roaring lion. Why do you suppose Peter used the idea of a roaring lion, rather than that of a snake or some other creature? Obviously, lions are creatures to be respected. A lion can easily kill a man along with a host of wild creatures. Peter didn’t just make the comparison of the devil to a lion, but to a roaring lion. There is significance in the roar. Roaring commonly means, “This is my territory. Don’t get anywhere near.” Isn’t that interesting? Our enemy isn’t just trying to trip us up, he is trying to make us his own. He wants to claim us as his territory.

There are two problems that come up when we are going through difficulty that really affect our next step and our way of thinking. The first is our own focus. It is incredibly easy to focus on our pain. It is, our pain. The struggle is our struggle. Why wouldn’t we focus on it? This is made even harder when there is pain, illness, anxiety and broken relationships. Job loss is hard, but add to that a divorce and a persistent gall bladder problem and you are probably going to be feeling pretty overwhelmed.

“Let your eyes look directly ahead
And let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you.”

— Proverbs 4:25 (NASB)

Why is our focus so important? When you are walking you need to watch where you are going. This is especially important if you are walking on a narrow road, a path along a steep gorge or across a Lego filled living room. in those situations, it might be important to not be looking at your cell phone, reading a book or closing your eyes. This is also true when we are driving. The need for this straight forward, pay attention routine is even more important when things are getting chaotic, such as heavy traffic or passing pedestrians or bikers.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

When we are going through the hard bits of life, or even through the longer pits of life, we need to keep our eyes on our Savior. In fact it is even more important to focus on Him when we are faced with difficulty. I have been reading, Abide in Christ, by Andrew Murray. I started this book a while back, got about half way through and got busy, so put it aside. When I picked it up a week ago, I decided to start again at the beginning. There is so much good stuff in this book. Read these two quotes:

“It is not the yoke, but the resistance to the yoke, that makes the difficulty; the whole hearted surrender to Jesus, as at once our Master and Keeper, finds and secures the rest.”

— Abide in Christ - Andrew Murray - Chapter 2

Remember how Christ tells us if we are weary and heavy laden we should come to Him.

“28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

— Matthew 11:28-29 (NASB)

Murray was referring to these verses when he was talking about the rest that is secured in Christ. Now look at this next piece from the same chapter in Murray’s book.

“With this grace secured, we have strength for every duty, courage for every struggle, a blessing in every cross and the joy of life eternal in death itself.”

— Abide in Christ - Andrew Murray - Chapter 2

Christ is to be our focus. Come hell or high water, this Warrior Prince named Jesus, has our back for every duty, every struggle and every cross we have to bear in this life. All you have to do is come to Him and believe He will do it.

The other problem that arises when people are going through hard times is the ignorance of those around them. How many of you have been struggling with a situation, only to have a friend give you advice on how to solve your problem? How did that make you feel? If you are like me, when I was going through a very difficult time in my life, the last thing I wanted was advice. What I really wanted was an arm around my shoulders, a friend who would pray with me, not tell me they would pray for me, a sincere hug and two listening ears.

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

My dear friends, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to keep your mouth shut and refrain from giving advice when someone close to you is going through a hard time. Give hugs, give time, bring food, pray with them, listen to them. If they ask you for advice, then and only then, open your mouth and be sure you are speaking from the Lord, not from your own large vat of worldly knowledge. In addition to that, sincerely, truly and intensely pray for that person. You will not know all the details and that is okay. God’s bigger than you and will work it out. Just pray.

“He who despises his neighbor lacks sense, But a man of understanding keeps silent.”

— Proverbs 11:12 (NASB)

“Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.”

— Proverbs 17:28 (NASB)

Life is difficult. Some of you are going through things that you never thought you would have to go through. Don’t give up. Keep you eyes fixed on the author and perfecter or our faith. And for those of you who are watching a friend or loved one suffer, don’t give up on them either. Pray, for and with. Love, help and even just sit in silence with them. For all of us, let’s remember this:

“Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him For the help of His presence.”

— Psalm 42:5 (NASB)

Realistically Setting Goals

This is the final installment in my series on New Year, New Mind. I’ve been discussing how our thoughts can easily derail our efforts to form habits that will make us healthier people, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. Last week I looked at a few ways to stop our train wreck mentalities and this week, I wanted to close with a look at realistically setting goals.

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Baby Steps

The best way to start when setting goals is by starting with small steps. Rather than starting large and working your way back, start small and work your way up.

For example, if you want to get organized, but don’t know where to start, decide what your first priority is. If you need to work on meal planning, start by having a plan for at least three meals a week. Rather than being overwhelmed with a whole week, just plan a few and write them down. If you and your spouse both work and can afford the service, there are a number of food services now available that deliver all the ingredients and directions for meal prep to your door for as many meals a week as you want. My daughter and her husband use Blue Apron and have three meals a week delivered. All they have to do is open the box, take out the ingredients and follow the directions. There are lots of options available.

Perhaps you want to improve your health by exercising, and eating better. Instead of going cold turkey off all your favorite treats, start with a few small changes. Drinking more water, adding a veggie at lunch or a fruit at breakfast, eating one less meal out a week, or measuring out the potato chips so you only get one serving are all good baby steps to a healthier lifestyle. If you don’t want to invest the time or money in a gym membership there are plenty of videos on youtube.com . You can find pretty much anything to suit your lifestyle from short 20 minute walking videos to longer cardio to yoga and stretching.

Starting small allows you to see success quickly and will keep you from getting discouraged that you aren’t seeing results right away. Each step you take towards achieving a goal, is a step in the right direction, even if it is only a baby step.

Get Organized

This could be a problem, if one of your goals is to get organized. Ha, ha. I personally struggle with organization, not because I am incapable of being organized, but because I allow life to overwhelm me. Busyness, and fatigue have put a dent in my organizational capabilities. However, I know that being more organized will help with the busyness and chaos of life. Over the course of time I have come to see the following habits help life run more smoothly.

Meal plan. Planning out a weeks worth of meals help when you are grocery shopping, and when you are trying to figure out what to make for dinner. I used to do this more frequently when my girls were young and keep trying to get back to it. It saves money, time and your sanity when life gets busy. Meal planning is also helpful, when you are trying to lose weight.

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Get up earlier. I know this is very hard for some people. I am a morning person and have the most energy before lunch. My hubby on the other hand could well be diagnosed with morning sickness. He abhors morning. Getting up earlier, gives you more time to get exercise, read your Bible, meditate and just get ready for the day ahead. This is especially important when you work and you have to get lunches made and help others get their days started as well. Start small, taking a baby step in that direction by getting up 15 minutes earlier. Gradually you might be able to work up to a half hour or more.

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Invest in a good planner. I am a geek, so I love being able to get a new planner every year. If you get one with lots of spaces, you can use it for many purposes. You can put your meal planning in there, your appointments, work schedule and so on. A planner is a great way to keep you organized, the trick is to actually write things down in it. Ha, ha. I speak from experience!

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“Getting organized in the normal routines of life and finishing little projects you’ve started is an important first step toward realizing larger goals. If you can’t get a handle on the small things, how will you ever get it together to focus on the big things? ”

— Joyce Meyer

Have a Plan

I have found the thing that helps me most in achieving my goals is to have some sort of a plan. It doesn’t have to be written in stone and signed in blood, because, let’s face it, real life often interferes with our plans. A plan that has some amount of flex to it is probably the best way to approach goal setting that will succeed.

For instance, when I want to lose weight, I come up with a plan. I decide on a way to keep track of my calories, because i have found calorie counting the best thing for me. It holds me accountable and lets me see my progress. I download a fitness app on my phone. I use a combination of Fitbit and MyFitnessPal. I also try to do more meal planning. As I said earlier, meal planning makes it easier to keep to a daily calorie goal.

Having a plan for any area of goal setting will help you succeed. Whether you make a daily plan, like keeping a list of things to do, or a weekly plan such as exercising three times or a monthly plan like getting rid of 10 items I no longer use, planning will produce results much more readily than no plan at all.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself as you develop a plan:

What do I want to accomplish?

When do I want to accomplish this by?

How am I going to accomplish this?

What sort of resources do I need to invest in to accomplish this goal?

How will I handle failure?

That question leads me to my last point.

Handle Failure Positively

Failing at anything is hard. We live in a society that condemns failure and honors success. Obviously, success is the goal. We want to be successful at whatever goals we have, but the truth is that failure is inevitable. If your goal is to lose weight, you will fall off the wagon. You’ll have a bad day and give in to those cravings for ice cream. When your goal is to declutter because you have been binge watching Tidying Up with Marie Kondo, you will end up at the mall scouring the sale racks at your favorite store, because things are marked down to less than five dollars. Maybe your goal is to be more patient with your family. Be assured they will push all your buttons before the day is over. This is real life.

One of my faithful subscribers said it best:

“...instead of letting a day, or even a couple weeks, of a blown resolution or new effort derail us or cause us to give up completely, why not get up and get started again. Keep moving forward.”

— Karen - SGM subscriber

We all need to hear things like this and this leads me to several thoughts about failure.

Failure thrives on Fear

Fear is perhaps one of the biggest factors in keeping us from getting back up and starting over when we have failed.

“I can’t do it. If I try, I’ll only fail again.”

Sound familiar? Stop being afraid. Failure is not your master! Many who have gone before us recognized this fact.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”

— Henry Ford

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

— Winston Chruchill

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

— Thomas A. Edison

“You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space. ”

— Johnny Cash

I could go on with amazing quotes from amazing people who went toe to toe with failure. Reading these encouraged my heart and I hope they do for you to. Failure is but a stepping stone to achieving the goals we have set. Start believing that.

Failure abhors Friendship

Have you ever noticed when we fail, we want to be alone in our misery and throw ourselves a little pity party? Surrounding ourselves with good friends can turn failure into fuel. As I stated early, I have several subscribers that often comment on my posts, sharing their enthusiasm for fashion or their struggles as they walk the road of life and faith. This means so much to me and gives me fuel to keep going, to keep trying, even when I fail.

You don’t have to have a boat load of friends to be fueled by your failure. One good friend, or your spouse can be the one to reach down when you have fallen to help you back up. If your support system is limited go to Jesus. I have certain scriptures I return to again and again, like old friends, when I need encouragement or help getting back up.

“Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

— Romans 8:1 (NASB)

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

— Philippians 1:6 (NASB)

“But He knows the way I take; When He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold.”

— Job 23:10 (NASB)

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.””

— Joshua 1:9 (NASB)

I hope this series on changing our thoughts has been helpful to you. The things I have written about in this series are just my opinions. I am not a licensed counselor, just a woman who has dealt with the failure mind set in my own life. I write as much to myself as to you, so I hope this was helpful.

Have a wonderful weekend and let me know your thoughts in the comments.

The Light of Joy

One of the things about the Christmas season that I get very excited about is lights. I love the look of houses outlined in tiny specks of shimmering light, whether they are white, green, red or blue, I love them all. I enjoy driving home from somewhere and seeing how many houses are embellished with twinkling splendor. Now don’t judge me, but I also enjoy seeing Christmas trees inside people’s homes. It’s not that I am being nosy. After all, don’t we put our trees in windows for that purpose, so the outside world can see our beautiful displays of light?

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What is it about light that we so enjoy? I know that most of us would rather be out and about when it is day time. We enjoy when morning comes and feel loss at the slipping away of light as night time takes over. I personally have to convince myself that darkness is good and God allows the darkness so that we may rest. What I find fascinating about this God of ours is that He didn’t leave us in total darkness. He provided, even before sin became a reality, He provided the moon and the stars to rule the night, so even in darkness the light is still meant to preside.

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There is a lesson here for us, if we are willing to see it. Light is always present even in the darkness. Darkness is, for lack of a better definition, the absence of light. But even in the deepest and darkest dark, somewhere there is still light. If we lost all electricity, the sun would still rule the sky by day and the moon and stars by night. As long as God allows the planets, stars, moons and sun to hang in space, there will always be light. What if those things disappear, or burn out? What if there is nothing left, but darkness? That will never be the case, because God is light and in Him there is no darkness.

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When we think of Christmas we often have images of children playing, laughing and looking with awe and wonder at the lights and decorations. Can you even imagine a Christmas without the idea of child like joy being a part of it? I realize, not everyone grew up with wonder filled Christmases like many of us did. Some of you may not even celebrate Christmas or may think of it as merely an overly commercialized holiday meant to line the pockets of corporate America. Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, I think most of us can relate to the idea of joy.

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Joy is often misunderstood. It is regularly mistaken for happiness, but joy is eternal, whereas happiness is temporary. Let me see if I can explain this in a way that makes sense. Joy is light. Joy comes out in dazzling displays like fireworks and rocket launches, but it also twinkles like Christmas lights and candle flames. The difference is that when the fireworks and rockets are burned out and the Christmas lights break and the flame smokes, joy still shines. The reason for this came in the form of a bundled baby boy, born in a stable over two thousand years ago.

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No matter how deep the darkness is, joy still shines. There is no darkness or evil thorough enough to overcome joy. You might not feel like you have joy right now. Maybe you feel like you have never had joy, but you know those moments that bring tears to your eyes; those moments are shimmers of joy. You experience them when a movie has a happy ending or a musical movement runs together into a river of sound so beautiful it sweeps you along with it. You experience it when you come upon a breathtaking view or stand at the water’s edge when the sun begins its descent into a cloudless sea. This is joy.

Then when life tries to break you and you cannot hear the music or see the sunset, that is when you must reach back and in, deeper and deeper, to the event where joy first burst onto the scene of humanity. A virgin birth. Shepherds watching their flocks. Animals in the stable. A straw filled manger. This event was and is and evermore shall be the birth of joy. At that moment joy moved from happiness to an eternal possibility. Joy became the essence of bliss.

If you believe in that light, then even when all is dark, all you have to do is call his name. Jesus. And that light of joy will explode, once again in your soul and the darkness will scatter.

Wait! I Didn't Want that to Happen!

What do you do when you are very disappointed? Do you blame God? Do you complain and become discouraged and frustrated? Let's face it, life delivers plenty of disappointments. Relationships fail, those things that we wanted for so long break and get thrown away and we even experience disappointment in ourselves due to our failures and lost hopes. Sometimes life leads us down a path that looks appealing, other times, it leads us to a place we don't want to go.

My husband and I left Thursday evening to begin a ten day journey out east. We were going to spend two nights with my mom near Buffalo, NY and then point our car towards Maine, a state neither of us had been, but both of us were looking forward to exploring. I had already made reservations at hotels and Home Away type accommodations and was anticipating new digs to stay in, new scenery to take pictures of, new places to walk with our new hiking boots and new restaurants featuring local fair like lobster and other seafood delicacies. Little did I know my hope and anticipations were about to be dashed to pieces. 

While we were at my mom's we took her to a nearby park for a walk. At ninety plus she is getting a little unsteady, but she is able to still walk with a helping arm. Here are some pictures from our walk.

Saturday morning we left my mom's house at 8:30 AM and hoped to put the hours and miles behind us as we headed towards Portland, ME. We had only just gotten onto the interstate when the pain that had been plaguing me in my lower abdomen on and off for the last four days suddenly torqued up the intensity. We stopped at the next rest area so I could use the restroom. I seriously thought I was having some sort of digestive anomaly. Two years ago I had been diagnosed with diverticulosis, but had never actually had an issue with diverticulitis. 

By the time I began walking out of the rest area, my husband knew something was wrong. He could see it in the way I walked and by the look on my face. He asked the nearest rest area employee where the closest urgent care would be and we were directed to the hospital at the next exit. 

By the time I was finally checked into the ER and was actually given pain medication at least two hours had passed. After a CT scan I was diagnosed with having a kidney stone. I have never had kidney stones before. I was told I would have to stay in the hospital over night to see if the stone would pass and they put me on a regimen of pain meds, antibiotics and drugs to widen out the ureters to help the stone pass. 

Me looking lovely in the ER!

After a mostly sleepless night at the hospital with my faithful husband in a very uncomfortable recliner by my bed we decided this would not be the year we would go on our adventure to Maine. I write this post at a Barnes and Noble as we travel back to our home in the Mid West after spending another night with my mom. I would have been ruthless to not let my mom see me and know I was okay after all that had happened. It proved most beneficial to have a good nights rest and some food that I could actually eat. I feel much better today!

With our car still full of bags and treats and hiking boots as well as five new prescriptions, we began our trip home feeling rather glum and disappointed that things had not worked out as we had hoped. Now I go back to my original question: How do you deal with disappointment? In all honesty I only know of one way. 

Thankfulness! 

Yes! You heard me! Thankfulness.

Here is my list:

1. My husband was with me through all of it. He did not waver. He did not get upset. He was just genuinely glad that I just had a kidney stone (he's had one of his own) and not having surgery for a colostomy or finding out I had cancer. 

2. The hospital staff was great. Every nurse was kind, informative and professional. They answered our questions, let us know what they were going to do with clarity and a smile and always asked if we needed anything. Even the aides who had to empty out my little pee pot to check for stones were friendly and helpful. 

3. We were right near a hospital. I didn't have to drive for several hours to get to a competent place of care. In fact the hospital is in the same city where my brother works. He even stopped by to check on me while I was in the ER.

4. I only had to spend one night! Hooray.

5. By this morning, I was no longer in any pain, and no longer felt like I wanted to hurl every time I thought of food. 

6. Our drive home has been relaxing and enjoyable. 

These are only a few of the thing that I can thank God for during this disappointing time. Disappointments, as I have talked about before, can push us away from God, or draw us closer. I would definitely choose to draw closer every time. 

“in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

— I Thessalonians 5:18

How Do We Bloom, When Life is Tough?

I think as women we spend much of our time over thinking things. Have you ever asked yourself these questions: Is what I'm doing making a difference? How does my life count? What sort of legacy am I going to leave behind? Am I worthwhile? Am I enough? 

For this particular post I am not going to address all those other questions we ask ourselves: What am I going to make for dinner? Does my spouse really love me? Are my kids listening to me? Am I too fat? Am I pretty? You get the idea and I am sure you could add your own list of questions.

You have probably heard the phrase, "Bloom where you are planted." It has been around for a while. I found an interesting article on Huffington Post written in 2014. You can see that article here. The author, Smita Malhotra, MD has a basic premise; that we can live a full life no matter what situation we find ourselves in if we just practice four things:

1. (Remember) Every step in life prepares you for the next one.

2. Stop complaining.

3. Be a blessing.

4. Bloom through concrete.

To thoroughly understand where she is coming from it would be good to read her article. What I would like to do is use that as a spring board for us, specifically as wives, mothers, and grandmothers. You all know it is true, motherhood and sometimes being a wife is a thankless job.  I'm sure there are those who would say, If you teach your children properly, they will be thankful. While this is true, the hard bits of motherhood are not easily understood until experienced. 

I think there are several scriptural ideas that we need to be reminded of to enable us to better bloom where we are planted. 

1. God is in control. I know we all say it. It rolls off our tongues as easily as water, but how many of us actually believe it? It's okay to be honest. I have a hard time with it myself. Didn't the disciples struggle with believing He was in control those dark hours after Jesus was crucified then laid in the tomb? Read through the Psalms. David questioned God on more than one occasion.

“Why do You stand afar off, O Lord?
Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble?”

— Psalm 10:1 (NASB)

But he always came back to the fact that God was in control.

“The Lord is King forever and ever;
Nations have perished from His land.
O Lord, You have heard the desire of the humble;
You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear”

— Psalm 10:16-17

Perhaps that is part of the problem. We let ourselves go through hours, days and even weeks of wandering, worrying and hand-wringing, when really all we need to do is exactly what David did. Bring it back to God. 

2. God is trustworthy. There is an element to trust that must be akin to jumping out of the airplane. Let go! When it comes to our kids and our grandkids, we want to be able to keep them from all evil, but frankly evil happens. Our wishing it away, or ignoring it, is not going to keep bad things from happening. However, we can choose to place our trust in the One who is higher than I. 

“How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?
How long shall I take counsel in my soul,
Having sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long will my enemy be exalted over me?”

— Psalm 13:1-2 (NASB)

The Psalmist again, questions God's goodness at the beginning of the Psalm. This is showing us, it is okay to feel these difficult emotions. The worry, stress, fear, anger, are all part of being human in a fallen world. 

“But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness;
My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
Because He has dealt bountifully with me.”

— Psalm 13:5-6 (NASB)

By the end of the Psalm, which isn't very long, the psalmist remembers who God is, and that He is faithful. He makes a choice to not allow his thoughts to stay on the despair and agony page. He is confident that God is trustworthy.

3. Thankfulness makes a difference. I can't say this enough. Ann Voskamp wrote an entire book on the subject, called One Thousand Gifts. Go to Amazon and type in books on gratitude to see the list that pops up. Nancy Leigh DeMoss wrote Choosing Gratitude. For perspectives that are not strictly Christian there is also, The Gratitude Diaries by Janice Kaplan and Daily Gratitude by National Geographic. Thankfulness can transform our minds and our lives. It is, after all, commanded in God's word.

“in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

— I Thessalonians 5:18 (NASB)

4. Get positive. I wanted to differentiate this from being thankful because I think there is more to bringing our thoughts captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ, than just thankfulness. Thankfulness is a huge part of it, but we can forget to be thankful, or we can express gratitude and then quickly move on to something else that is wearing away at our peace. God's word expresses this idea of positivity in the book of Philippians.

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”

— Philippians 4:8 (NASB)

This verse comes after verses 4-7 which talk about rejoicing, not being anxious and the peace of God. This verse brings the whole idea of positive thinking into fine focus. We are to be thinking about things that are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, reputable, excellent and worthy of praise. Start measuring your thought life up against that list. Would you say your thoughts are mostly positive or are you seeing some work that needs to be done? 

Positivity can come from music, good books, uplifting movies, non-toxic friendships, exercise, getting out in nature, owning a pet and of course things like going to church and reading God's word. 

There are times when I look at my reflection in the mirror and I talk out loud to myself. I tell myself I am valuable, loved with an everlasting love and beautiful. I also tell myself that most of the worries I have are never going to happen, so just chill. Sometimes, I pray out loud, doing battle with the enemy and hearing myself say it makes me realize I have the power of God available to me at all times. I love to go for walks and when I do, I try to thank God for the beauty of the world around me, even on a gray day. 

Blooming where we are planted is basically the ability to be the person God wants you to be no matter where you are at any point in your life. You might not think you are blooming, let alone thriving, but try to remember whose you are and that He's got it all figured out. Then just lean into Him. He will help you to grow through the toughest concrete out there. 

Photo credit Rebecca Trumbull

The Drudgery of Disappointment

Events over the last week have left many people feeling disappointed. We all know disappointment. We have all been introduced to that feeling of being let down, overwhelmed and done in. Disappointment is part of our lives. Who hasn't felt the frustration of difficult relationships or the strain of hardships at work or in the home? Who hasn't found themselves looking with anticipation to an exciting event only to be let down that it wasn't what we had hoped?

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There are present disappointments, the kind that we face daily. There are also presumed disappointments. These are the ones that we believe will happen just by the mere fact that life continues to move forward. Disappointment can lead down a path of greater difficulty.

I'd like to devote this post to looking at two ideas. The first is that disappointment breeds disappointment. The second is to think about things we can do to combat disappointment.

Disappointment breeds Disappointment:

1. Dwelling on the disappointment. Putting too much thought into anything isn't necessarily healthy. Even good things can become distractions in our thought life, causing us to become less productive and even depressed. When bad things happen, we must go through a process of digesting them and learning to cope with them. That is healthy. However, continuing to focus on our sadness, our struggle or our worry over the future, is not healthy. 

2. Laying blame. We all want to ascribe blame. It is my husband's fault that I did this. It's my kid's fault that happened. It's my boss's fault that I lost my job. Think through your day. Who did you blame today? That bad driver who cut you off? That slow cashier at the grocery store? The lazy waiter at the restaurant? Notice how I added an adjective before each of those people, bad, slow, lazy. It had to be someone's fault that I had a crummy day! Or could it have been, I didn't get up early enough to get to work on time without racing? I could have made a list when I went to the grocery store earlier in the week when I had time, so I didn't forget that one item I needed to cook dinner....and why doesn't my spouse ever take me out to dinner? Maybe the waiter at the restaurant had one too many customers like me, disappointed and grumpy!

3. Letting disappointment turn into something more fierce and controlling, such as anxiety or anger. Disappointment, as I said before is a natural part of life. While being occasionally anxious or angry is also normal, these feelings should not continue unchecked. Anxiety is basically a fight or flight response that will not turn off. If you have ever had a panic attack you know what I mean. Anger and the subsequent damage it can do to our own health or the health of others is also an emotion that is not meant to be the norm. 

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By allowing the three above mentioned processes take root in our lives we enter into a vicious cycle of disappointment breeding, not only disappointment, but other emotions such as anxiety and anger, which in turn can affect our health and the health of those around us.

Now let me turn to the idea of how to handle disappointment. 

For the one feeing the disappointment:

1. Don't dwell there. 

“ We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,”

— 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NASB)

You have heard me harp on this before, but I only keep bringing it up, because I know it to be true. We are the only ones who have control over our minds. We can let disappointment rule us, or we can take those thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. Even if you are not a Christ follower, you have control over your mind. If you dwell on all that is hard, sad, or bad, you will feel overwhelmed, discouraged and worn out! There are so many beautiful things to dwell on, from the beauty of creation to the lovely feel of climbing into a nice warm bed or eating a delicious meal. 

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2. Don't blame. Blame is not going to make the problem go away or get better. Be proactive. Find a way to make a difference in your home, in your job, in your community and yes even in your nation. My mother-in-law is a a big proponent of calling her elected officials, asking questions and stating her concerns. If enough people were actually doing that sort of thing, you can bet it would make a difference. Even if you don't see results immediately, you can know that you are doing what you can to make a difference. Being proactive takes away the feeling that you have been hurt or disappointed and gives you power.

3. Don't let deeper emotions take root. While anxiety and anger are just as normal as feeling disappointed, these emotions when left unchecked can result in much deeper trauma, not only to you personally, but to those you act out on. If you feel that you are heading down a road of being overly anxious or angry about a situation, find a good counselor, pastor or friend to talk to. Even making small  adjustments in your lifestyle can make a difference in your attitude. When I am anxious I quote scripture, listen to music or go for a walk. When I am overly angry, I do deep breathing, letting the anger go as I breath out. 

For those dealing with disappointed people:

Even if you are not the one dealing with disappointment you probably know others who are. You can be a light in their life and help them through the difficulty they are going through.

1. Acknowledge their disappointment. Don't say, "Get over it!" or "I don't understand why you feel that way." You may not understand, but the point is to be understanding. Let them talk, and try to understand where they are coming from. 

2. Use your own experiences with disappointment to have empathy. 

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.”

— Matthew 5:7 (NASB)

You'd be surprised how extending mercy can build bridges and break down walls! Your willingness to have compassion and mercy on someone who is struggling with disappointment could be the very image of Christ that person needs to see.

3. Give of your time. Sometimes people just need a friend to help them over the disappointment. Invite them out for lunch. Ask them to go for a walk with you. Get some fun movies to watch together, preferably something not controversial. If they are willing, pray with them. Let them see you are a real friend, one who has also experienced disappointments. Be open and honest. 

I hope if you are reading this and you are experiencing disappointment that you will find some encouragement here. I also hope those of you who are not struggling right now, will extend your hand in kindness and compassion towards one who is.