Come to the Table

A good friend of mine started a Zoom devotional group a while back and asked me to be a part of it. Every Saturday, with a few exceptions here and there, the two of us along with four to six other ladies connect via the internet to study God’s word. We have been working through a particular devotional, so every week the scripture is something different. It has been the most rewarding thing I have done in a long time. It has been such pure joy to be back in God’s word with other like minded people. We are learning from passages we have read and reread over the years proving the very thing the Bible says about itself:

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“For the word of God is living and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, even penetrating as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

— Hebrews 4:12 (NASB)

This past week we focused on Psalm 23. As a Christ follower this is a very familiar passage. The chapter consists of only six verses, but they are verses that pack an incredible punch with regard to our relationship with the Almighty. My eyes were opened anew as we read and discussed this simplistic poem written by the shepherd who would become a king.

“1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
3 He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.

4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.”

— Psalm 23 (ESV)

I do not want to take the time in this post to focus on all of the verses. We could easily spend a whole post on each verse, because there is so much to unpack. I feel compelled to talk specifically about verse 5 for today’s lesson. Let’s plumb the depths of this incredible verse together.

You prepare a table before me.

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I think this is an appropriate follow-up to our study of Hannah over the last couple months. It became obvious to me as I read and reread those verses detailing Hannah’s struggle, her ability to lean into the Lord and her complete trust in Him, that she was drawing from a source of strength and peace that we all need. Let’s look at a few questions.

Who is doing the preparation? God is. The whole passage is about the Good Shepherd and we know that the Good Shepherd is referring to the triune God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

What is He preparing? A table. When I prepare a table for a family meal, the first thing I do is make sure the table is clean. Next, I add either a table cloth or place mats, partly to protect the table surface and partly to make the table look nice. After this, I might add some sort of decoration, from a simple candle, to a vase of flowers, to some more elaborate centerpiece. I am a pretty simplistic person, so typically less is more when it comes to decor. Finally, I will set the table with plates, silverware, napkins and glasses. Finally, I will cover the table with the food that was prepared for the meal, including butter for bread, salt and pepper and extra napkins. I try to take care to think about the needs and desires of those who will be coming to my table.

For whom is the table prepared? For me. God has done this great thing in preparing a table before me. He does it in my sight, so I might know it is there and come feast from it whenever I need or want. He does not hide the table and all its delicacies in a room behind some sort of intricate maze or secret passages. It is right there in front of me. In addition this table is prepared by the Good Shepherd who stays with me prepared to meet every need I might have.

I want you to pay special attention to the tense of the word - prepare. It is present tense. This is all at once something He has done, is doing and will do. There is never any lack or anything wanting at the table the Good Shepherd has prepared for me. The fact that He prepares the table before me, means that He is always preparing it. He doesn’t prepare it and then leave. A good host or hostess, doesn’t leave the room when dinner is served. They stay and sit and eat with their guests, always attentive to any need or desire that might arise.

Even as I type this, I am floored by the lavish love of our gracious Lord and Savior.

…in the presence of my enemies…

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More questions.

Why does the Good Shepherd prepare this table before me in the presence of my enemies? I believe that God wants us to know two things. The first is His provision is for us; those who have allowed Him to brand His name on their hearts. That ornate table, full of good things is for those who call Him Lord.

The second is to remind us that we do have enemies.

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

— I Peter 5:8 (ESV)

Just like the sheep have enemies, we too, need to be reminded that we have a real enemy who is seeking to devour us. The fact that our table is there for the enemy to see is a reminder that we do not need to be afraid, as long as we are in the Good Shepherd’s care. It is also a reminder to our enemies that we are provided for, always.

…you anoint my head with oil…

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The practice of anointing with oil was traditional in Jewish culture for many reasons. Let’s look at a few of these.

A Form of Respect - Anointing with oil was a way for the host or hostess to honor the guests invited to their meal. It was a way to show respect.

Designation of Position - There were three offices that would commence with oil of anointment: prophet, priest and king. Anointing usually took place when a person was becoming one of these offices or some time at the beginning of their post.

Helping the Sick - Anointing with oil became a more regular practice in the church starting with the disciples who would anoint sick people. Even today, there are still churches who practice anointing with oil and may or may not be reserved for those with illnesses or needs.

Setting Aside - Often one who is anointed with oil is being set aside for God’s purposes. This would also be applicable to inanimate objects such as an altar, a building or a specific furnishing or item used in worship.

When the Good Shepherd anoints our head with oil, He is doing all of these things. He is showing us respect as the guests who dine at His table. He is designating our position as His chosen ones. He is healing our ills and mending our wounds, and He is also setting us aside for His eternal purposes.

…my cup overflows.

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Our Good Shepherd would certainly look to our need for quenching our thirst as well.

“Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.””

— John 4:10 (ESV)

What is this living water and where do we get it? Living water is the only water that can truly satiate our thirst. Not the physical thirst that our bodies use to signify we need to drink, but our spiritual thirst, that constant longing and looking for something to satisfy and make us feel complete. There is only one place that we can get this water and it will be given with such generosity and enthusiasm that our cups with splash joyfully as they overflow. Our cups overflow at the table our Good Shepherd prepares for us.

As a believer, we all have access to this table. This table is where we will find fellowship with the Good Shepherd. This table is where will find food to bring energy and life back to our battle weary souls. This table is where we will find rest and repose. This table is where we will quench or innermost desires and longings. This is the table Hannah ate from as she walked her little boy into the House of the Lord and left him.

The Good Shepherd prepares this table for you and for I. Come eat with me!

Rejoice Always: A Case Study - Part 4

Today I am going to finish up this particular case study of Hannah in the Old Testament. Hannah, who was Samuel’s mother, was a woman a great strength, deep desire and phenomenal trust in her God. A portion of the scripture we are going to look at is Hannah’s song of thanksgiving. This is what we are going to focus on and I want to do it just a few verses at a time, so we can slowly savor the thoughts and ideas.

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“Then Hannah prayed and said,

“My heart exults in the Lord;
My horn is exalted in the Lord,
My mouth speaks boldly against my enemies,
Because I rejoice in Your salvation.”

— I Samuel 2:1 (NASB)

Keep in mind, Hannah is singing this song of thanksgiving after she has given her only son, Samuel, to Eli the priest to serve in the House of the Lord.

Hannah exults in the Lord. The word horn as it is used in this passage refers to strength, so Hannah is saying her strength is exalted in the Lord. The word exalt is a verb that means to lift high, to elevate by praise, to raise in rank or to enhance the activity of. In other words we could say, “My heart lifts high because of the Lord.” “My strength is elevated in the Lord.”

I do not know if Hannah was thinking of Penninah, her husband’s other wife, when she sang these words, or if she was thinking of her status as an Israelite, but either way she speaks boldly, because she rejoices in God’s salvation.

“There is no one holy like the Lord,
Indeed, there is no one besides You,
Nor is there any rock like our God.”

— 1 Samuel 2:2 (NASB)

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Hannah states the truth she knows. As an Israelite she has been taught the scriptures, the laws and the commands. Her husband was a committed Jew, making sure he and his family got to the House of the Lord. But now, Hannah also has personal experience. She took her heart’s desire to have a child to God, and He remembered her and provided.

“Do not go on boasting so very proudly,
Do not let arrogance come out of your mouth;
For the Lord is a God of knowledge,
And with Him actions are weighed”

— 1 Samuel 2:3 (NASB)

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I have a feeling Hannah was a pretty observant woman. She knew her scriptures, which probably also meant she knew the history of her people. This verse could have been a reference to Penninah, but for some reason I think Hannah was above that. I think this had more to do with the enemies of Israel.

The following verses are both declarative and somewhat prophetic for the state of Israel and the future of the nation as well.

“4 The bows of the mighty are broken to pieces,
But those who have stumbled strap on strength.
5 Those who were full hire themselves out for bread,
But those who were hungry cease to be hungry.
Even the infertile woman gives birth to seven,
But she who has many children languishes.
6 The Lord puts to death and makes alive;
He brings down to Sheol and brings up.
7 The Lord makes poor and rich;
He humbles, He also exalts.
8 He raises the poor from the dust,
He lifts the needy from the garbage heap
To seat them with nobles,
And He gives them a seat of honor as an inheritance;
For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s,
And He set the world on them.
9 He watches over the feet of His godly ones,
But the wicked ones are silenced in darkness;
For not by might shall a person prevail.
10 Those who contend with the Lord will be terrified;
Against them He will thunder in the heavens,
The Lord will judge the ends of the earth;
And He will give strength to His king,
And will exalt the horn of His anointed.””

— 1 Samuel 2:4-10 (NASB)

This ends Hannah’s song, but it certainly does not signify the end of her adventure with God. If we read further in this chapter we see God’s continued blessing on her.

“18 Now Samuel was ministering before the Lord, as a boy wearing a linen ephod.
19 And his mother would make for him a little robe and bring it up to him from year to year when she would come up with her husband to offer the yearly sacrifice.
20 Then Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife, and say, “May the Lord give you children from this woman in place of the one she requested of the Lord.” And they went to their own home.

21 The Lord indeed visited Hannah, and she conceived and gave birth to three sons and two daughters. And the boy Samuel grew up before the Lord.”

— 1 Samuel 2:18-21 (NASB)

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Hannah did not forget Samuel. She lovingly made him a robe and every year when they would go up to offer their yearly sacrifice they would bring the robe and she would give it to him. She kept her promise to the Lord and He gave her more children.

What can we learn from our study of Hannah on the word rejoice?

Our joy is not dependent on our circumstances.

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We all like to think that if we only had this or that, or if our circumstances changed then we would have joy. Joy, unlike happiness is eternal. It is a state of being that comes from God and is not dependent on what is going on in our lives.

Remember the definition of rejoice: to give joy to; to feel great joy or delight. We learned from the book of Deuteronomy in the Old Testament that rejoice was a command given by God to the people of Israel and it always coincided with a feast or celebration of remembrance of God’s faithfulness and provision.

Our ability to rejoice is a choice to remember how God has provided and been faithful throughout our lives. Even in our current difficult circumstances.

Our joy is directly linked to our choice to focus on God.

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I know this can be hard, but this is what makes the difference between living large and languishing. When I choose to remember God’s faithfulness, I take my eyes off my current difficulties and place them on Him. Even if life has been difficult for a while, I can still focus on His character and His promises. He is good. He is faithful. He is just. He is holy. He is pure. He is righteous.

Back in Chapter 1 we saw when Hannah prayed she lifted up the name of God. She exalted Him. She said, “Lord of armies.” It was a simple statement, but think about all that it encompasses. The word Lord, would signify power and authority. Lord of armies, shows that He is in charge of all those who can bring about justice and peace. That three word statement was one of worship and direct focus on the powerful and amazing God.

Focusing on God and who He is and His great faithfulness will make rejoicing as important as drinking water. It is essential for life.

Like C.S. Lewis, we might be Surprised By Joy.

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Hannah found joy even after she gave up her son. She gave him to God before he was even conceived. She had no regrets. She did not waver in her promise. When the boy was old enough, she took him to the House of the Lord and left him there. Yet, she had joy.

In the middle of our adversity, in the crushing weight of our darkness, we will be surprised by joy, because it is God who gives us the ability to rejoice. Just like hope, patience, goodness, kindness and all the other fruit we can bear, it comes from Him.

Rejoice always!

Rejoice Always: A Case Study - Part 3

The last few weeks we have been looking at the idea of rejoicing. To rejoice means to remember the good things, or in our walks as Christ believers to remember how God has blessed us and kept us. We have been looking at the life of Hannah in the Old Testament, the mother of Samuel, prophet of God during the reign of King Saul and King David.

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The last two lessons we looked at the difficult circumstances, Hannah found herself in. While she was dearly loved by her husband, Elkanah, she was unable to have children, and was severely mocked and ridiculed by Elkanah’s other wife, Penninah. Penninah already gave Elkanah children, but she must have noticed his favor for Hannah, thus her constant torment.

We are given insight into Hannah’s despair and her deep desire to have a child. She can’t eat and weeps and prays before the temple, petitioning God to grant her heart’s desire. The priest, Eli, saw her and thought that she had been drinking, to behave in such a distraught manner. He tells her to stop her drinking and get her act together, but Hannah assures him that she had not been drinking, but was distressed and crying out to God in prayer. Eli responds with compassion telling her to go her way and praying that God would grant her petition.

This is where we pick back up.

“19 Then they arose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord, and returned again to their house in Ramah. And Elkanah had relations with Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her.
20 It came about in due time, after Hannah had conceived, that she gave birth to a son; and she named him Samuel, saying, “Because I have asked him of the Lord.”
21 Then the man Elkanah went up with all his household to offer to the Lord the yearly sacrifice and pay his vow.
22 But Hannah did not go up, for she said to her husband, “I will not go up until the child is weaned; then I will bring him, that he may appear before the Lord and stay there forever.”
23 Elkanah her husband said to her, “Do what seems best to you. Remain until you have weaned him; only may the Lord confirm His word.” So the woman remained and nursed her son until she weaned him.
24 Now when she had weaned him, she took him up with her, with a three-year-old bull and one ephah of flour and a jug of wine, and brought him to the house of the Lord in Shiloh, although the child was young.
25 Then they slaughtered the bull, and brought the boy to Eli.
26 She said, “Oh, my lord! As your soul lives, my lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you, praying to the Lord.
27 For this boy I prayed, and the Lord has given me my petition which I asked of Him.
28 So I have also dedicated him to the Lord; as long as he lives he is dedicated to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.”

— 1 Samuel 1:19-28 (NASB)

We can learn so much from really scrutinizing this portion of the first chapter of the first book of Samuel. Let’s take a closer look.

The family worshipped together. Verse 19 says they rose early and worshipped before the Lord, before they returned to their home. It is obvious, Elkanah felt being in the house of the Lord was an important part of his life and he saw to it that it was important for his family as well.

Elkanah loved Hannah. We see after they returned to their home in Ramah, Elkanah had relations with Hannah. It doesn’t specify that he had relations with both of his wives, but specifically points out that he had relations with Hannah.

And the Lord remembered her. God does not forget us. He knew us before we were just a tadpole in our mother’s womb. He knows where we are all the time, no matter where we go, or where we might try to hide. (Psalm 139) He also knows the number of the hairs on our heads. (Matthew 10:30) God will not forget us, and He did not forget Hannah.

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Hannah had a child and named him Samuel. (Verse 20) The name Samuel means, asked of God. Indeed, Hannah did ask God for a son and what did she promise God in return if he granted her request? The child would be His to serve Him.

Hannah keeps her commitment to God. Verses 21-28 relay how Hannah kept her promise to God. Once she had Samuel weaned she brought him up to the House of the Lord. Can you imagine, letting your child go? The only child you had, your only son? This is mind blowing to me. We all love our children dearly and I am sure, like me, the thought of losing any of your children for any reason is overwhelming. Now try to imagine, giving that child up willingly at a very young age. I am thinking Samuel might have been three, but maybe older or younger, depending on what age they were weaned at. Imagine taking your three year old to a place that was about a day’s journey away and leaving him in the care of some old guy. What is going on?

I have to wonder at this. Did God give Hannah some sort of knowledge that her son would be fine, in fact would be a very important player in the the Kingdom of Israel? I just think that Hannah had complete trust in the God she believed in. A few months ago I talked about this idea of trust in God. You can see that post here. I am sure it is a topic we will visit again, but for now let’s quickly look at how Hannah trusted God.

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1 - She went to God with her desire. We don’t see Hannah berating her spouse or fighting back with Penninah. Yes, she is emotional, but she takes her heart’s deepest desire to God. Most of us struggle in our relationships. Many times as Christians we think it is okay to talk about our spouses, or partners with our friends, because we have to talk to someone, right? I think this was especially the case when we were newly married and had no idea what we were doing, but I have noticed over the years the maturing process in Christ has led us all to the same place. We are taking our hurts and deepest desires to God first, or at least we should be. I want to keep trying to be like Hannah, because truly it is the best way. God is way better at solving problems and He is bigger too.

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2 - She acknowledged the authority of God. Hannah starts her prayer - “Oh, Lord of hosts…” She knew who God was. She knew what He was capable of. She knew that He was the one with supreme power. Maybe this is where we fall short. We look at Jesus as our friend, our savior, our redeemer, but we forget He is part of the God head that commands the very sun to stay where it is, or the tides to only come so far. He’s tied us to the earth with gravity and formulated the air we breathe using plants and trees. This is the God who is able to do above and beyond all we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).

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3 - She petitioned God. Hannah didn’t demand anything from God. She simply asked. She also asked with great humility. My husband and I have different styles of prayer when it comes to asking God for something. Most often we are both praying for the same thing, but my spouse often does it in a berserker Viking way, “You said this, now why aren’t you doing it? Come on God, do the God thing.” I typically come to God more timidly, asking if He will do this or that. Now, I have matured in my praying as well. Now I understand the usefulness of praying the scriptures and bringing back to God the promises He gave us. I think God can handle our honesty, however we pray, but it all begins with humility.

4 - She chose to give her heart’s desire back to Him. How often do we pray this sort of prayer, “Lord, if you do this, then I will do that”? Typically, this type of praying is frowned upon, but I think that Hannah was not using it as a bargaining tool, to get God to do what she wanted. She was completely sincere. She really meant what she said, and I don’t know about you, but I am not there yet, but I want to be.

Next time we look at Hannah’s song of thanksgiving. I hope you will join me then for another look at this case study on rejoicing.

Rejoice Always: A Case Study - Part 2

Last time we started looking at the story of Hannah in the Old Testament book of 1 Samuel. I think it is interesting that Hannah’s story is not only included in the cannon of the Scriptures, but it is a detailed account of the prayers, emotions and actions of this woman. Today we will spend a little more time getting to know Hannah and the struggles she had. You see, it was not just the case that she couldn’t have children, or that her husband’s other wife mocked and ridiculed her, but today we will see that even a man appointed by God misunderstood her.

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“12 Now it came about, as she continued praying before the Lord, that Eli was watching her mouth.
13 As for Hannah, she was speaking in her heart, only her lips were moving, but her voice was not heard. So Eli thought she was drunk.
14 Then Eli said to her, “How long will you make yourself drunk? Put away your wine from you.”
15 But Hannah replied, “No, my lord, I am a woman oppressed in spirit; I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have poured out my soul before the Lord.
16 Do not consider your maidservant as a worthless woman, for I have spoken until now out of my great concern and provocation.”
17 Then Eli answered and said, “Go in peace; and may the God of Israel grant your petition that you have asked of Him.” 18 She said, “Let your maidservant find favor in your sight.” So the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.”

— i Samuel 1:12-18 (NASB)

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As we know from the previous scriptures, Eli was sitting on a seat next to the doorpost of the temple ( this was not the later temple that was built in Jerusalem, but the Tabernacle which came to rest in Shiloh after the years of wandering in the wilderness). For whatever reason, Eli’s eyes were drawn to Hannah. Perhaps, there were not many other people around, or maybe she was the only woman who was present in a male dominated arena. Whatever, the case, Eli looked at her long enough to see that she was talking to herself, or so it seemed.

I am really not sure, why he jumped to the conclusion that she was drunk. Maybe it was the way she was positioned, the fact that she was weeping or the fact that she was talking without making noise. Maybe he had seen other people behave in this way and learned in most cases they had been sipping a little too much fruit of the vine. Let’s look at what we know by reading the scripture.

Eli was watching her mouth (vs. 12). We can conclude that she was close enough to where he sat that he could actually see her lips moving, and could tell she was not speaking.

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Hannah was speaking to God in her heart, but moving her mouth without making noise (vs. 13). Have you ever been in a place like this? This is the sort of place where you are so distraught that you know what your heart wants to say, but you cannot vocalize the words. This a level of deeply felt emotion that not everyone understands. Obviously, Eli didn’t get it, at least at first.

Eli thought she was drunk (vs. 13). Again, I do not know why the priest made this conclusion, but he did.

Eli spoke to her, “How long will you make yourself drunk? Put away your wine from you (vs. 14).” Maybe a priest wasn’t supposed to be a counselor, but as a woman, I feel like it would have been better if he would have walked up to her and said, “Are you alright? What can I help you with?” But it was a different time and a different society. His response was most likely his intention to help her get her act together.

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Hannah responded truthfully. “No my lord, I am a woman oppressed in spirit; I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have poured out my soul before the Lord. Do not consider your maidservant as a worthless woman, for I have spoken until now out of my great concern and provocation.” (vs. 15-16) I love that Hannah was so forthright and honest. She could have been offended by the priest’s accusation. She could have walked away without responding. Not only did she state the facts, but she asked the priest to change is mind about her. As a woman in a male dominated society, I think Hannah was very brave.

Eli believed her and responded kindly. “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant your petition that you have asked of Him” (vs. 17). I also love Eli’s response. He wanted her to have peace, and he wanted her to get what she had asked for. To me it shows that Eli was a man of compassion. He listened and he believed her.

Hannah’s response, “Let your maidservant find favor in your sight.” Then she left, ate and was no longer sad. I know for me, being able to share my concerns and burdens is like taking a heavy weight off my back. When I was ill back in the fall doing Instagram posts and Facebook posts actually helped me feel better mentally and emotionally, especially when people were sharing their well wishes and prayers on my behalf. I think Hannah being able to share her burden with the elderly priest made her feel validated and seen.

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What can we learn from this particular section of Hannah’s story?

1 - Don’t be afraid to show your emotions. Hannah was in a public place and she wept bitterly. So often we run behind closed doors, too embarrassed to admit we are struggling or having a problem. It is okay to cry at a movie; to rejoice at a game and to get angry at injustice (this one is a little more delicate, because we do need to stay within the parameters of law and order so that innocent people do not get hurt).

2 - Tell the truth. Don’t try to make up excuses for what you are feeling. Be honest about what hurts or makes you afraid.

3 - Keep at it until you feel seen. I found this especially true when I was going through my health crisis. When I just kept getting worse and worse and worse, I kept trying doctors, urgent cares, and er’s until I finally felt like I was being listened to and cared for.

4 - Find a good place to unload. Obviously, we want to make God our first and foremost counselor, but we live in a world filled with stress and chaos. Finding a trustworthy counselor, pastor or friend to help you process difficulties and struggles is a widely accepted necessity. Hannah, went to God first in her prayers, but then when Eli asked, she let him help her carry the burden.

5 - Take time to take care of yourself. After Hannah shared her burden with Eli, she left and ate some food. There is a point in time, where letting the burden rest elsewhere is a good idea. It is also a good idea to do something for yourself. Take a walk, soak in a hot bath, have a healthy meal, read a book or take a nap. Be in tune with your body, so you can take care of it.

Next time we will look at how God answered Hannah’s prayers. Until then, have a great week!

Rejoice Always: A Case Study - Part 1

Today, I want to talk about a woman who knew how to rejoice. Remember a few weeks ago I talked about my word for the year, which was believe. I talked about how the action of belief encompasses two other actions: abide and trust. The woman we are going to look at, knew how to abide, and trust, and she believed God.

Case Study: Hannah

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“1 Now there was a man from Ramathaim-zophim from the hill country of Ephraim, and his name was Elkanah the son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite.
2 And he had two wives: the name of one was Hannah and the name of the other Peninnah; and Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children.”

— 1 Samuel 1:1-2 (NASB)

What can we learn about Hannah from the first two verses of the first book of Samuel? Without consulting a Bible commentary we learn that Hannah was married. She was married to a man named Elkanah. We also learn that Elkanah had two wives: Hannah and Penniah. We don’t know why he had two wives, but we might guess that he was first married to Hannah, but Hannah had no children. He then married Penniah to bear him offspring.

Does this story sound familiar? Didn’t Abraham do the same thing? He was married to Sarah, but Sarah had no children. At her suggestion, Abraham lay with Sarah’s handmaid, Hagar, by which he had his first son Ishmael. If you are familiar with this story, you know that God gave Sarah a son, Isaac. The animosity and difficulty between Sarah and Hagar became a sticking point for Abraham for the rest of his life.

In Hannah’s story there is a similar problem between the two women.

“3 Now this man would go up from his city yearly to worship and to sacrifice to the Lord of armies in Shiloh. And the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were priests to the Lord there.
4 When the day came that Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters;
5 but to Hannah he would give a double portion, because he loved Hannah, but the Lord had closed her womb.
6 Her rival, moreover, would provoke her bitterly to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb.
7 And it happened year after year, as often as she went up to the house of the Lord, that she would provoke her; so she wept and would not eat.
8 Then Elkanah her husband would say to her, “Hannah, why do you weep, and why do you not eat, and why is your heart sad? Am I not better to you than ten sons?””

— 1 Samuel 1:3-8 (NASB)

Is it any wonder that there was a problem here? I don’t want to be the one to male bash, but come on Elkanah, do you really think showing favoritism between your two wives is going to help? He also has the audacity to say to his grieving bride, “Am I not better to you than ten sons?” What??? That was my first response, but it does show something on Elkanah’s part that he noticed his wife’s grief and he was trying to cheer her up.

Hannah was devastated. She hadn’t had any children, and it didn’t look like she ever would. In a society and time period that only saw the value of a woman in her ability to bear children, Hannah had to have felt regularly challenged that she had no worth. In addition, Penniah would provoke and mock her. I can just hear her, “You can’t have any kids, nah, nah! I’m better than you, nah, nah!” Okay, so maybe I am embellishing the Scriptures, but you get the idea. I can only imagine how Hannah felt. I can only imagine how a woman feels who really wants to have children, but is unable. It can be truly devastating.

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When my youngest was two, I began to want more children. I really wanted to have four. My spouse, however, believed that we were done. One child per parent was his motto and he wasn’t budging. I had people suggest to me, just forget to take your pill, once you’re pregnant what is he going to do about it? That was not who I was. I would never deceive my spouse in such a way, and I knew that I had to let the Lord work this out in my own heart. I wasn’t going to pressure my spouse. I still wish we had four, and those months and years that I still wanted more children were very hard. I suffered in silence, but gradually God replaced that desire for a child with a deeper desire for Him.

Let’s look further at Hannah’s story:

“9 Then Hannah got up after eating and drinking in Shiloh. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat by the doorpost of the temple of the Lord.
10 She, greatly distressed, prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly.
11 And she made a vow and said, “Lord of armies, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your bond-servant and remember me, and not forget Your bond-servant, but will give Your bond-servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and a razor shall never come on his head.””

— 1 Samuel 1:9-11 (NASB)

In these verses we see that Hannah did finally pull herself together have something to eat and drink. It is obvious she and Elkanah had a special relationship and she wanted to please him. After doing his bidding by eating and drinking she went, and stood somewhere near the Tabernacle of the Lord. Her distress revved back up and it says, she “prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly.”

The interesting part comes next. She made a vow to God. We can learn more about Hannah by dissecting her prayer.

“Lord of armies,”

I wonder why Hannah called God the Lord of armies. I looked up the same passage in several other translations. The ESV and KJV both say, “Lord of hosts…” The NIV says, “Lord Almighty…” Hannah knew to whom she was speaking. There was no misunderstanding on Hannah’s part about who God was. She addressed Him, knowing Him to be the One who commanded heavenly hosts.

“if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your bond-servant, and remember me, and not forget Your bond-servant,”

Hannah spoke from a place of humility. She brought her heartbreak and deep desire to God most high, asking that He would look at her affliction and that He would remember her. She didn’t try to petition from the height of pride, saying, Look how I have borne this affliction from my husband’s other wife. Look at how I have tried to be a good woman. No! She spoke from the low point of prostration.

“but will give your bond-servant a son,”

She gave God her heart’s desire. Once again, she does so from a place of humility.

“then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and a razor shall never come on his head.”

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Hannah’s desire for a child was so great, that she was willing to give him back to the Lord for His use. Hannah could have asked for a daughter, but she asked for a son. My opinion is she did this because a son would be able to serve in the temple. She also deemed him a Nazarite, which was an added commitment. A Nazarite was a Jew who made a vow to not drink wine, cut his hair or be defiled by the presence of a corpse.

What can we learn from Hannah’s prayer? We can follow her example in praying from a position of humility, recognizing God as the Most High, bringing Him our innermost desires, and praying that the outcome will be to His glory and honor.

We have already learned so much from this woman named Hannah. Next time we’ll see criticism coming from a prominent source and how Hannah responds to it.

Rejoice Always: It's Imperative - Part 1

Earlier this month I was talking with the Lord about my purpose and what it is that I am supposed to be doing. Like many people it seems that I have always been looking for some elusive meaning in life, but as I Christian I am fully aware my purpose is to glorify God and live a life that is pleasing to Him. True purpose aside, I am still trying to figure out what that looks like for me.

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As a young person I knew my purpose was to go to school, try to get good grades and stay out of trouble. When I saw adulthood on the horizon, I tried to figure out what it was that God wanted me to do. I went from Christian Education to being a foreign missionary and finally ended up getting married and having a couple of kids.

Now as I approach my sixties I realize that each day my purpose might be different because over all is this idea of the sovereignty of God. Even if I plan and set about doing what I “think” He is calling me to do, He is the one in control and He has an ultimate goal, that of our salvation, and sanctification, which is basically the working out of our salvation in this life.

Still, I would like this working out to be doing that which best utilizes the talents and abilities He has given me. However, I am still presuming that what that will be is something my human mind can wrap around and that my human hands and feet can actually go and do. God is not confined to my human box. In fact, He is well outside those limiting boundaries.

A few years ago, I had a similar conversation with the Lord and He told me the same thing both times. I have to laugh at the way His voice gently chided me. “Amy, you haven’t started doing what I told you the last time. What were the three things I told you to do?”

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and give thanks in all things.”

While I have tried to do better at giving thanks, I definitely fall short in the rejoicing and praying areas. I decided to start off this year with a study of the word rejoice, as that seemed to be the first thing on the list. Right now I am doing a simple word search through scripture. I am only looking for instances of the word rejoice, not rejoicing, rejoiced or joy. What I have found so far is truly amazing.

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I knew, given the context of I Thessalonians 5:16, rejoice is a command. It is snuggled into a paragraph that talks about Christian conduct. Let’s take a look.

“12 But we ask you, brothers and sisters, to recognize those who diligently labor among you and are in leadership over you in the Lord, and give you instruction,
13 and that you regard them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with one another.
14 We urge you, brothers and sisters, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.
15 See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek what is good for one another and for all people.
16 Rejoice always,
17 pray without ceasing,
18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.
19 Do not quench the Spirit,
20 do not utterly reject prophecies,
21 but examine everything; hold firmly to that which is good,
22 abstain from every form of evil.”

— 1 Thessalonians 5:12-22 (NASB)

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A command, or imperative is an order, putting it simply, but it is more than that. To be able to command an audience is the ability to hold their attention as well as gain their respect. The word imperative, also gives us the idea of importance. We could say the imperative is imperative! Ha, ha. When we look at these commands in Scripture we are not just looking at the straightforward order to do something, we are also embracing the importance that action has in the lives of the human throng around us.

My study of the word rejoice has led me to a book in the Bible I would have never thought to associate with this idea of rejoicing. Deuteronomy uses the word rejoice, 12 times. That might not seem like a lot, but it is a book that reiterates and goes into specifics regarding the laws Moses received at Mt. Sinai. It also deals in detail with celebrations and feasts days, all of which were planned out for the benefit of the people. Most of these events revolved around what God did for them: bringing them out of Egypt, providing for them in the wilderness and sparing them from destruction when they didn’t follow His commands.

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“5 But you shall seek the Lord at the place which the Lord your God will choose from all your tribes, to establish His name there for His dwelling, and you shall come there.
6 You shall bring there your burnt offerings, your sacrifices, your tithes, the contribution of your hand, your vowed offerings, your voluntary offerings, and the firstborn of your herd and of your flock.
7 There you and your households shall eat before the Lord your God, and rejoice in all your undertakings in which the Lord your God has blessed you.”

— Deuteronomy 12:5-7 (NASB)

Rejoicing walked hand in hand with remembering God’s goodness and provision. Webster’s Online dictionary defines rejoice as: to give joy to; to feel joy or great delight. Synonyms include the words, exuberate, glory, exult and triumph. Most of the references in Deuteronomy also include eating and celebrating. It would seem that God’s command to rejoice is a sacrifice on our part where we are giving joy back to God. In turn, we are filled with joy as we remember His goodness toward us.

It is easy to remember bad stuff. We might remember in detail the car accident, the illness, the divorce or the wayward child, but do we remember in detail all the many times God’s goodness and mercy brought us out of the captivity of our choices into the land flowing with milk and honey? This is what it means to rejoice. Just as we are encouraged to let our minds dwell on things that are pure, excellent, lovely, commendable and worth of praise (Philippians 4:8), we are commanded to remember God’s goodness and provision to us.

Since I started doing this word study, I have also been doing some praying out loud as I walk around the house. In my prayers I say, “I will rejoice…” and then I say what I am going to rejoice in. For instance, “I will rejoice when the day is sunny. I will rejoice when the day is cloudy. I will rejoice when I am full of energy. I will rejoice when I feel exhausted. I can rejoice in any and every circumstance because I rejoice in the Lord.”

In one of the studies I did a while back with Beth Moore, she suggested making an altar in our homes. Not an altar to worship a false god, but an altar of remembering all the good things that God has done. I didn’t actually make one, but I do try to bring to mind, and am trying to more regularly, those times that God stepped in. Believe me, there have been many.

• Protection on me as a teenage girl.

• Protection in college.

• Guidance in where to go to school.

• Surviving a summer mission trip to Africa where I got malaria.

• Complete healing from malaria.

• Meeting and later marrying a Christian man.

• Staying married all these years. (If you don’t think that is God’s grace, think again. Marriage is hard!)

• Two safe baby deliveries.

• Homeschooling my girls all the way through high school.

• Two beautiful grandsons.

This list cold go on and on and that doesn’t go into all the tiny little details; those special moments when God reached into my life and heart revealing Himself to me personally. When I start dwelling on God’s amazing goodness, I can truly rejoice!

Next week we’ll take a look at a woman who chose to rejoice, even when it was hard. Until then, have a great week.

What if Life Doesn't Give You Lemons?

You’ve all heard the quote, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” My husband, who is ever the melancholy Dane said, “Well what if you don’t get lemons? What if you get rotten tomatoes? What are you supposed to make with those, rotten tomato juice?” We could go on and on with a list of bad things that we really can’t find a way to turn into something palatable. The whole point of the quote is that when bad things happen, turn them into something usable and good. That’s great when life is dealing you items that you can actually turn into something good or useful, but what about those situations where it seems that there is nothing good that can come out of it?

It is very easy to get focused on the bad. I know. I have to keep reminding myself, that even though my sense of smell is wonky and I can’t taste anything right now, I do have so many other blessings. I have most of my health back after a long illness. I have a beautiful new grandson and still get to enjoy time with my older grandson. I have a home, blankets and a working furnace, which is so wonderful during these cold days and nights. I have been reminded, however, that when we are going through something difficult it is okay to feel bad. My discomfort and pain is just as real as the next person’s, even if it isn’t at the same level.

I want to look at a few steps that I have found help me when life is throwing rotten tomatoes at me rather than lemons. I hope these will be helpful to you as well.

1 - Hide

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There are days, weeks and even months where hiding is not a bad idea. Getting away from the constant barrage of negative news, or input is not only important it is essential for good mental health. I know a number of people who have taken breaks from various forms of social media. Some have even pulled away all together, feeling that it was adding to their already anxious and discouraged mindsets. Even God’s word encourages us to occasionally hide.

“Keep me as the apple of the eye; Hide me in the shadow of Your wings”

— Psalm 17:8 (NASB)

“For on the day of trouble He will conceal me in His tabernacle; He will hide me in the secret place of His tent; He will lift me up on a rock.”

— Psalm 27:5 (NASB)

“A prudent person sees evil and hides himself, But the naive proceed, and pay the penalty.”

— Proverbs 22:3 (NASB)

“Come, my people, enter your rooms And close your doors behind you; Hide for a little while Until indignation runs its course.”

— Isaiah 26:20 (NASB)

There are times when life becomes overwhelming and the rotten tomatoes are coming at you; some of them may even contain the missiles of the enemy. Those are the times to hide. Hiding with an almighty God is an especially good place to be.

2 - Stand Up

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I know this might sound counterintuitive, especially when the world is flinging gloppy, rotten tomatoes at you. I also just got done telling you to hide, but there are times in life when the best thing we can do is take a stand.

If you have been following my blog for a while, you know that I have done studies on our unseen enemy and on the armor of God. As a refresher, take a look at these verses from Ephesians.

“10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.
11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.
13 Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist on the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.
14 Stand firm therefore... ”

— Ephesians 6:10-14a (NASB)

Certainly, there are times those tomatoes are flying from the chaos of the lives we are living; cars breaking down, the dishwasher leaking, the kids getting sick, these are all struggles that we deal with. There are other times, where those stinky, red missiles are coming from an unseen source; the very one who is wanting us to give up hope and turn away from our Lord and protector.

3 - Trust

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Let me take a moment at this point to talk about that idea of the Lord as our protector. Who hasn’t asked themselves, “If God loves us and He is our protector, then why are all these bad things happening?” The best way for me to explain this is to point out two factors.

The first is to remind all of you, we live in a fallen world. I was doing some reading in Hebrews for a devotional group I am in on Saturday morning. The comparison was being made of the old system of sacrificing bulls and goats to the one sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ. The author points out that God was not pleased with the system of sacrifice and provided a better alternative…the one time sacrifice of His Son Jesus Christ. The Father did not want to have the system of sacrifice, because His desire was to walk with the humanity He created in the perfect garden. It was mankind who chose to do wrong. The moment sin came into the world, God set Plan B into motion; the system of sacrifice and blood offerings.

The second point I want to make is that God provided a way, even after we messed things up. He always provides a way. It might be a way out, a way over, a way across, a way to hide or a way to take a stand, but He will always provide. Sometimes, we just have to wait on Him, as hard as it can be. Waiting is excruciating, especially when our struggle is overwhelming. We might have a terrible illness. We might be in constant pain. We might be battling an addiction either to drugs and alcohol or to pornography and toxic relationships. Still, if we can be still and wait, He will provide a way.

“23 Let’s hold firmly to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; ”

— Hebrews 10:23 (NASB)

4 - Believe

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What is the difference between trust and belief? I would define them this way: trust is believing that someone or something is good or reliable. Belief is accepting that something is true. We can easily believe that God is good, yet not believe that everything that is in the scriptures is true. We can also believe that the Bible is true, but not necessarily believe that God is entirely good.

Belief is essential to having a right relationship with God. If we do not take God at His word we will always be doubting whether He can be trusted.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

— Romans 8:28 (NASB)

When we put our faith in God the Father, and in the plan of salvation that He set forth though His Son, Jesus, we are also putting our faith in His Word. Believing what the above verse is saying is true makes it easier to know that even the rotten tomatoes will somehow turn into something good, even if the only thing they are used for is compost.

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5 - Rest

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I decided to separate rest from hiding, because while it is true that we could rest while we are hiding, much like Elijah did in the cave in I Kings 19, it is also true that we can be hiding, but be all pent up inside and not truly getting any rest. There is physical rest, emotional and mental rest. The type of rest you might need when the tomatoes are flying might be all of them or it might just be one.

When I was sick back in the fall, I really needed physical rest, because with my cough I was not sleeping at all. However, I also needed mental and emotional rest. I did not know what was wrong with me and I also did not know if I would ever get better. I had to keep going back to the truth of what I believed in Scripture.

“28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.””

— Matthew 11:28-30 (NASB)

I would get off the couch the next morning, having to face another day of not feeling well, but I trusted what Christ said in that passage. Even though I wasn’t actually sleeping, He always got me through every day. I am so thankful He finally got me to a point where I was able to get help and start healing.

Rest may not always be the physical rest or the mental rest we think we need. There are times where the rest is simply laying back in the arms of our Savior and letting Him get us through those really bad days.

I don’t know what you might be facing as this new year progresses, but I hope that you will remember, even if you are being assailed by rotten tomatoes, God is right there with you and He will help you through.

When Darkness Comes - Wrap Up

We have been doing a series on when darkness comes into our lives. Darkness can be anything that you encounter that causes you to struggle, doubt or grow weary. From the very beginning we learned that darkness is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact when we read the creation account at the beginning of Genesis we learn that God created the darkness for our benefit. However, there are times when it seems that darkness has moved in to our lives like some sort of dank, slimy giant who is determined to make his new home with us. It seems that life will never know the light again and that the only thing we will know is that musty smell of wormwood.

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For this final post, I just want to review some of the things we learned over the last few weeks. It is rather apropos that in the midst of doing this series, I was blasted with a health crisis. It has stretched me to my limits. I know there are so many people who have had much more difficult health problems, but it is the incessant illness and the ensuing steps of trying to get things diagnosed, going to doctors, urgent cares and even the emergency room, still to no avail. The waiting; the not knowing; the feeling of hopelessness that things will ever get any better wears a person down.

The very thing that kept me going through all of this, were the lessons I had been learning previously when I was going through more of a mental and emotional crisis. That is what I have shared with you in this series. The verse that has kept coming back to me during the non-stop coughing, long nights of wheezing and not being able to sleep, and the not having answers is this:

“Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.””

— Psalm 27:14 (NASB)

All to often waiting is exactly that, waiting. It has more of a passive feel to it. There are times, where that is exactly what we need to do. However, many of the verses in the Bible that use the word wait, have an active voice. Waiting, involves, anticipation, expectation and even an element of seeking. Waiting is not for wimps! Why do you think the psalmist went on to say, “Be strong and let your heart take courage…”? He knew that waiting requires strength. I will leave that for another lesson. Today, I just want to review what we can take away from the series, When Darkness Comes.

1 - God created the darkness - The very first lesson in this series explored the truth, God created the darkness. While dark and light are no different to Him, He knew that our world and the people He created would need the darkness and its benefits.

2 - Darkness became associated with being bad when Satan challenged God’s authority - Remember, not only did Satan challenge God’s authority, but he was angry. In his anger he attacked God’s creation by tempting Adam and Eve to sin. It was after this event that the darkness became a place to hide and cover sinful deeds.

3 - God is in the darkness - No matter what dark days we are going through, God is over, under, around and within our darkness. The darkness is as light to Him, so there are no worries that He won’t be able to find us. He is right here with us.

4 - Being in the dark does not mean we did something wrong - God is sovereign and it is in this Lordship over all that He determines when and where we walk, and whether that way will be in the light or in the dark.

5 - When we are walking in the dark we need to remind ourselves of who God is - This is the first step in being able to dwell in the dark place. We have to remember who God is. A good way to do this is to write in a journal, but that is not the only way. Writing, singing, reading all help us to get back to the core truths in scripture about who God says he is.

6 - When we are walking in the dark we need to remind ourselves of who we are - We tend to put on false faces when we are going through difficulties. We tend to not want others to see how we really feel, or what we are really thinking. In order to dwell in the dark place, and even flourish in that darkness, we need to be honest about our feelings, and who God’s word tells us we are.

7 - There is a time when we need to reveal our true hearts - In other words, there are times we need to be starkly honest with God. Yes, He already knows what we are thinking and feeling, but we need to acknowledge these things out loud. Being able to vent our true hearts before Him is an important part of being able to survive a dark time.

8 - Growth, in a dark place, is directly related to letting God’s truth meet the raw edges of our ragged emotions - The scriptures are full of people with real emotions. David, Abraham, Moses, Paul and others didn’t just bring us the inspired words of God, but His truth, seasoned with their very own emotions. So much of scripture is meant for helping us deal, temper and work through our intense emotions. Letting His truth touch our emotions allows His Spirit to bring light to all of our dark places.

9 - Thanksgiving is essential to the growth process - There is a reason God said to give thanks at all times and in everything give thanks. Gratitude is the next step in allowing the darkness to empower, rather than overpower us.

10 - Dark places cannot remain dark when God’s piercing happens within our hearts - The process of going through these steps as we walk in darkness has the ultimate outcome of light coming in to the dark place. Truth, while not always pleasant, will always reveal. Obedience to God’s movement in the dark place will always open small windows that will let the light in.

I hope you enjoyed this series on When Darkness Comes and that by sharing my own process of walking in a dark place you will be better able to get through your own times of darkness.

Thanks for following along, on the blog. Have a great weekend.

When Darkness Comes - Part 10: The Beauty of His Piercing

As I bring this series to a close, there is still so much to learn and so much to share, but first and foremost, I want you to remember, when you are walking in darkness God is near. We saw how He hovered over the darkness of the deep at the beginning of creation, and how He is not only within the darkness, but He is in control of it. I want you to remember that whatever comes into your life passes first through the hands of the Almighty, and with that thought the reminder that His is good.

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I have also been sharing with you my own experience of walking in the dark by sharing heart felt words written in my journal. As a believer, writer and person of deep emotion, I have found journalling a great way to work through hard times and even harder feelings. I want you to understand how important it is to acknowledge our feelings and bring them before the Lord. I want you to be able to throw off those false faces we so often wear, so that you can live a life that is as real and raw as possible. Life is hard, but our God is powerful.

In the Old Testament, The book of Exodus gives many details of the Israelite’s captivity by Egypt and the freedom following when God worked through Moses. It also gives many of the laws and ordinances they people of Israel were expected to follow.

““Now these are the ordinances which you are to set before them:

2 “If you buy a Hebrew slave, he shall serve for six years; but on the seventh he shall leave as a free man without a payment to you.
3 If he comes alone, he shall leave alone; if he is the husband of a wife, then his wife shall leave with him.
4 If his master gives him a wife, and she bears him sons or daughters, the wife and her children shall belong to her master, and he shall leave alone.
5 But if the slave plainly says, ‘I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not leave as a free man,’
6 then his master shall bring him to God, then he shall bring him to the door or the doorpost. And his master shall pierce his ear with an awl; and he shall serve him permanently.”

— Exodus 21:1-6 (NASB)

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As you can see from the passage, over the years, if a slave was treated well, he might begin to see his master as part of his family. When the time of his slavery came to an end, he could decide to stay with his master permanently. We might wonder why a slave would do this, but it makes sense. If the slave had come to take a wife and have his own family over the course of his confinement, he would be choosing between his freedom and his family, because the female slave he married, is still the property of the master. Choosing to remain with his master allowed him to stay with his family. When he made this choice, his ear would be pierced with an awl to show that he was permanently bonded to the lord of the house.

I love how the things God ordained and revealed in the Old Testament become analogies for our spiritual walk. The piercing of the ear showed a choice on the part of the slave to be permanently part of the household and family of the lord of the estate. In the same way, when we choose to allow God to pierce our hearts with the truth of His word, we become more invested in the desire, and work of the Master. Suddenly, the things that didn’t seem to make sense, become understandable. The darkness that seemed as though it would swallow us whole, becomes filled with pin pricks of light, creating hope in our weary hearts.

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When I went through that particularly dark time a few months ago, I shared with you the process I went through as I wrestled with my own feelings and God’s truth. I have long struggled with my self-worth and self-image. We live in a world where comparison is the norm and no matter how often people say, “Don’t compare yourself to others,” “Get over yourself,” “You are being selfish if you have those thoughts and feelings,” or “You are unique and beautiful,” the fact is we still compare, feel bad about ourselves, guilty about what we did wrong, or didn’t do right, and all the other messages we hear. Only God can lift us out of the mire we and others have placed us into.

The morning after I had journaled all of those pages, where I ranted, acknowledged, remembered and ruminated, the Lord took His sword and pierced my heart. I woke up that morning, not really feeling victorious, but remembering I was waiting on the Lord in the strength of His might. I knew He would bring me out of that darkness when He was ready. I leaned into what I knew. Yes, I would have loved to have gotten up that morning feeling like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, but I didn’t. In addition to remembering what He had shown me over the last few days about His truth, I chose to focus on Him.

As I was putting on my make up, I decided to listen to a Beth Moore Podcast. The title of the podcast was Measureless Love, Part 1 (April 13, 2020). Why I picked that podcast on that day is a God thing. You see the thing I was struggling with the most was feeling loved. Yes I knew in my head my family loved me. I knew if I ever needed them, I could call on the friends that I have and they would be there for me, but still, the doubt that anyone truly loved me was like a disease in my mind. After all, I was not, nor ever would be, enough.

The fact that Beth Moore’s podcast was on God’s measureless love was no accident. What struck me was the idea, which Beth pointed out, that God is a God of measurements and preciseness. Think about the earth, sun, stars and other heavenly bodies. If our earth was just a smidge closer to the sun it would be too hot to support life. Just a smidge further away and it would be to cold to support life.

Look at these other examples in Scripture, of God’s precise measurements:

Image by Bruno /Germany from Pixabay

“Then God said to Noah, “The end of humanity has come before Me; for the earth is filled with violence because of people; and behold, I am about to destroy them with the earth. 14 Make for yourself an ark of gopher wood; you shall make the ark with compartments, and [m]cover it inside and out with pitch. 15 This is how you shall make it: the length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, its width fifty cubits, and its height thirty cubits. 16 You shall make a window for the ark, and finish it to a cubit from the top; and put the door of the ark on the side; you shall make it with lower, second, and third decks. 17 Now behold, I Myself am bringing the flood of water upon the earth, to destroy all flesh in which there is the breath of life, from under heaven; everything that is on the earth shall perish. 18 But I will establish My covenant with you; and you shall enter the ark—you, your sons, your wife, and your sons’ wives with you. 19 And of every living thing of all flesh, you shall bring two of every kind into the ark, to keep them alive with you; they shall be male and female. 20 Of the birds according to their kind, and of the animals according to their kind, of every crawling thing of the ground according to its kind, two of every kind will come to you to keep them alive. 21 As for you, take for yourself some of every food that is edible, and gather it to yourself; and it shall be food for you and them.” 22 So Noah did these things; according to everything that God had commanded him, so he did.”

— Genesis 6:13-22 (NASB)

“10 “Now they shall construct an ark of acacia wood two and a half cubits long, one and a half cubits wide, and one and a half cubits high. ”

— Exodus 25:10 (NASB)

“And you shall make an atoning cover of pure gold, two and a half cubits long and one and a half cubits wide. ”

— Exodus 25:17 (NASB)

“Moreover, you shall make the tabernacle with ten curtains of fine twisted linen and violet, purple, and scarlet material; you shall make them with cherubim, the work of a skilled embroiderer. 2 The length of each curtain shall be twenty-eight cubits, and the width of each curtain four cubits; all the curtains shall have the same measurements. 3 Five curtains shall be joined to one another, and the other five curtains shall be joined to one another. 4 You shall make loops of violet on the edge of the outermost curtain in the first set, and likewise you shall make them on the edge of the curtain that is outermost in the second set. 5 You shall make fifty loops in the one curtain, and you shall make fifty loops on the edge of the curtain that is in the second set; the loops shall be opposite each other. 6 You shall also make fifty clasps of gold, and join the curtains to one another with the clasps so that the tabernacle will be a unit.”

— Exodus 26:1-6 (NASB)

“4 Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell Me, if you have understanding,
5 Who set its measurements? Since you know.
Or who stretched the measuring line over it?
6 On what were its bases sunk?
Or who laid its cornerstone,”

— Job 38:4-6 (NASB)

I could go on, sharing passage after passage about God’s attention to detail, specifically to that of measurement. From laying the foundations of the earth, to the tabernacle to the temple, God is a God of preciseness…except in the area of His love. When it comes to God’s love, it is measureless.

“My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.”

— Ephesians 3:14-19 (The Message)

I typically don’t use too many different translations of the Bible. I prefer the New American Standard or the New International Version, but I wanted to give you a version of this passage that would drive the point home. In my opinion, this is beautifully written. Truly, the dimensions of Christ’s love are extravagant.

“11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him.
12 As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our wrongdoings from us.
13 Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
14 For He Himself knows our form;
He is mindful that we are nothing but dust.”

— Psalm 103:11-14 (NASB)

When God pierces our hearts, He drives home His truth to the extent that we cannot question its source or its author. God’s love for me is measureless. You know how I know this to the very core of my being? When I was in darkness, questioning the truth of love in my life, again, He took the time to orchestrate my circumstances to remind me, He loves me without measure, again. You see, he has done this for me before; not in the same way, but in a way that meant something to me. This time, it pierced me. When the piercing happens it cannot be undone.

Just like that slave, who chose to have his ear pierced with the awl, as a reminder to himself and everyone he chose to stay with his master, so too God’s piercing in our lives is a reminder, a place we can return to if we ever doubt.

Next week I will wrap this series up with a review. Until then, have a great weekend!

When Darkness Comes - Part 9: The Transformative Power of Thanksgiving

We all have heard the old saying that we are to have an attitude of gratitude. Most of us are aware of the difference a mindset of thankfulness can have on our thoughts, emotions and actions.

Image by Here and now, unfortunately, ends my journey on Pixabay from Pixabay

“Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.”

— Seneca

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings”

— William Arthur Ward

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.”

— Aesop

God’s Word is clear on the importance of giving thanks.

“in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.”

— I Thessalonians 5:18 (NASB)

Just as the Bible commands us to, “Rejoice always” (1 Thessalonians 5:16), and “pray without ceasing” (I Thessalonians 5:17), we are also commanded to give thanks at all times in everything. That means we are to give thanks when the darkness is upon us. We are to give thanks for it, in it and after it has left us. Why is it so important that we thank God when we are in the darkness? Let’s look at a few different reasons.

1 - It places us under His authority.

Image by David Mark from Pixabay

The act of remembering who we are and who God is enables us to have perspective. Being thankful places us in our correct standing before Him. Pride, which places us above God, saying we can get through this ourselves and we don’t need anyone’s help, especially His, makes us the authority and not God.

“Every person is to be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.”

— Romans 13:1 (NASB)

Knowing there is authority and actually placing ourselves under it are two different things. When we give thanks we recognize God as the one true authority.

2 - It places us under His protection.

“1 One who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
Will lodge in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
My God, in whom I trust!”
3 For it is He who rescues you from the net of the trapper
And from the deadly plague.
4 He will cover you with His pinions,
And under His wings you may take refuge;
His faithfulness is a shield and wall.

5 You will not be afraid of the terror by night,
Or of the arrow that flies by day;
6 Of the plague that [a]stalks in darkness,
Or of the destruction that devastates at noon.
7 A thousand may fall at your side
And ten thousand at your right hand,
But it shall not approach you.
8 You will only look on with your eyes
And see the retaliation against the wicked.
9 For you have made the Lord, my refuge,
The Most High, your dwelling place.
10 No evil will happen to you,
Nor will any plague come near your tent.

11 For He will give His angels orders concerning you,
To protect you in all your ways.
12 On their hands they will lift you up,
So that you do not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will walk upon the lion and cobra,
You will trample the young lion and the [d]serpent.

14 “Because he has loved Me, I will save him;
I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.
15 He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
16 I will satisfy him with a long life,
And show him My salvation.””

— Psalm 91

Why does giving thanks place us under His protection? The choice to be thankful requires a shift in our mindset. We know our Unseen Enemy loves to play mind games. If we are teetering on the edge of anger, bitterness, malice, wrath and other bad emotions, we are going to be more susceptible to making choices that are not for our benefit. Dark emotions are part of our sin nature, and very normal, but God does not want us to stay in those murky places. Staying there will result in our undoing.

3 - It lets in the light.

Giving thanks is like turning on a flashlight or lighting a candle when you are in a very dark room. When darkness is present in our lives and we are grieving, depressed, struggling, or lost, the choice to thank God allows Him to open the tiniest window into our shadowed world. You might not see the light right away. Often we become accustomed to the darkness and we might even forget what it was like to walk in the light, but light will always pierce the darkness.

When I was going through the dark time I have been sharing with you, I spent three days praying and journaling, most of which I have been sharing with you through these posts. On the last day, the last thing I did was lay before God the reasons I felt the way I did. There is a difference between acknowledging the emotion and knowing why we feel what we are feeling.

“Lord, perhaps what would help my sagging spirits is to confess to you all that is making me sad. I am sad...”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

I went on to tell Jesus, exactly what I was grieving over: my marriage, my family, relationships, being alone, my imperfections…the list went on. I ended that section with this.

Image by Christine Engelhardt from Pixabay

“So, I bring it all to You. The desires, the sadness, the disappointment. I bring it to You, and I choose to wait on You. I don’t know what to look for - a miracle? A rescue? A ta da moment? Whatever it is I trust You to bring it about. In the mean time I lean into Your strength and Your courage.””

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

However, I did not stop there.

“Now I need to give thanks.

I thank You, that the darkness and the light are the same to You.

Thank You, that as You hovered over the darkness of the deep at the beginning of Creation - You are here in my darkness - hovering over, beneath, beside and through.

Thank You, that while I do not have a friend right now to talk to or hang out with, I do have You.

Thank You, that You have shown Yourself to me since I was very young.

Thank You, that no matter what others say, You call me beloved!

Thank You, that I am not condemned, because I am in Christ Jesus.

Thank You, that as I choose to wait on You, You give me strength and courage. ”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

There was more on that list, and when I finished thanking God, I felt Him say to me, “You done good, now rest.”

Did I feel better? Not really, but I felt as though I had wrestled and wrangled. I wouldn’t realize the sword of the Almighty had pierced me until the next day. I’ll share that next week.

Until then, be thankful. God truly uses all things for our good.

When Darkness Comes - Part 8: When Feelings and Truth Meet

This series is long, but I don’t want to skim these ideas. God and His word are so incredibly complex and beautiful. We do ourselves an injustice when we do not truly understand, and believe, what He is trying to say to us. Remember at the very beginning of this series, I talked about how God created the darkness? Remember how I shared that the darkness was made for our benefit; for rest; for growth? The same is true of the darkness we are walking through. No matter what the darkness is, even those things that the devil meant for our destruction, God can and will use to make us into His perfect and beautiful children. There is one thing we must do…be willing to let Him pierce us. In the same way the nails pierced the gentle hands, and the sword pierced the side of our Messiah, we share in His sufferings when we let God pierce our hearts with His truth. It is by sharing in His sufferings that we receive our greatest comfort.

Image by jonnapeitso from Pixabay

“For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.”

— 2 Corinthians 1:5 (NASB)

Last week I focused on the need for expressing and acknowledging our emotions during these times of darkness. God is not a weakling. He can handle anything we throw at Him, whether it be sadness, horror, anger, jealously, despair, anxiety and more. It is obvious when reading through the scriptures, ever since our initial creation and subsequent fall to sin, God spoke His truth to the writers in order to bring us comfort, peace, joy, courage and the ability to express our innermost thoughts without fear of retribution.

David and the writers of the Psalms, as well as Job, Jeremiah, Solomon and others filled pages of scripture with emotional musings.

“Why are you in despair, my soul? And why are you restless within me? Wait for God, for I will again praise Him For the help of His presence, my God.”

— Psalm 43:5 (NASB)

“How long am I to feel anxious in my soul, With grief in my heart all the day? How long will my enemy be exalted over me?”

— Psalm 13:2 (NASB)

“I am disgusted with my own life; I will express my complaint freely; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.”

— Job 10:1 (NASB)

“My sorrow is beyond healing, My heart is faint within me!”

— Jeremiah 8:18 (NASB)

“Why did I ever come out of the womb To look at trouble and sorrow, So that my days have been spent in shame?”

— Jeremiah 20:18 (NASB)

“Do not be eager in your spirit to be angry, For anger resides in the heart of fools.”

— Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NASB)

“Say to those with anxious heart, “Take courage, fear not. Behold, your God will come with vengeance; The retribution of God will come, But He will save you.””

— Isaiah 35:4 (NASB)

Image by click like 👍 👍 👍 from Pixabay

Truth growth in the Christian’s life most often happens when God’s truth meets the raw edges of our intense emotions. When we take His word and apply it to our feelings, and our circumstances His light permeates our darkest dark.

“For the word of God is living and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, even penetrating as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

— Hebrews 4:12 (NASB)

When I am struggling in the dark, I am often unsure, confused and overwhelmed. With God there is no confusion. With His word, His truth, revealed by His Holy Spirit there is only surety and purity. This makes all the difference when we are struggling.

Once again, let me share my own journey. Once I acknowledged my despair and sadness to the Father, He brought me back to two particular scriptures: Psalm 16:11 and Psalm 27:14. For this particular post I will expand only on the second.

“Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.”

— Psalm 27:14 (NASB)

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

“Waiting has always been hard. Waiting for the salvation of our loved ones who are not walking with You; waiting for a diagnosis and treatment for our daughter; waiting for the birth of our second grandson...but perhaps I am missing the point. The verse doesn’t emphasize WHAT we are waiting for, but WHO...You!

While we are waiting we are to be doing two things -
1 - Be strong - perhaps this is where I am struggling the most. I have often thought of myself as fairly strong - all the crazy stuff Mark and I have gone through - but perhaps, I am not really very strong.

I obviously get upset and emotional when, if I had been leaning on You, I would have had the strength I needed. I have been guilty of wanting my strength to come from others, but there are other scriptures like Ephesians 6:10.

Before Paul launched into the armor of God He says, ‘Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.’
It doesn’t say, ‘Be strong in your spouse, be strong in your church, be strong in your own strength - it says be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/24/21

From this point, I looked at a cross reference from Ephesians 6:10 to Ephesians 1:19, but I looked at it within the context of Ephesians 1:18-23. To keep this from getting to long, feel free to click on the link, or grab your Bible and take a look at this passage. It is worth while, to truly understand what that phrase, “…in the strength of His might,” encompasses.

Image by Sabine Mondestin from Pixabay

“The strength of His might was brought about when He raised Jesus from the dead and placed Him on His right hand in the heavenly places, and gave Him (Jesus) power, rule, authority and dominion over all.

SO...when it says I am to be strong in the strength of His might it is telling me I do not have to be strong in my strength or power. NO! I am to be strong in the same might that raised Jesus from the dead; not only from the dead, but to His position over all.

2 - Take Courage - The second thing I am to do is take courage (mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty). When looking up the meaning of this word, it seems that courage, or taking it up refers to a cause. What is the reason I have to be courageous; or from whom do I get my courage. It is from the Lord Jesus Christ.

The end result is that as I am waiting on the Lord, He will be my strength and my courage. I am not alone in this.

Thank you Father, Son and Holy Spirit.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/24/21

When God’s word pierces me it is as though I enter into a layer of God I never understood before. I have read through the Bible multiple times over my life as a believer, but I stand amazed at how His Spirit stabs straight to the heart, changing my perspective and my understanding when I am truly open to His teaching. More often than not, this happens when I am walking in the dark.

Don’t be afraid to wrestle with God. Don’t be afraid to search His word and pray the eyes of your heart will be open. Allow Him to pierce you through to the heart.

Next week we will look at the role of thanksgiving in the dark. Have a great weekend!

When Darkness Comes - Part 7: Revealing our True Hearts

I have been doing a series on the darkness as it pertains to times of struggle in our lives. The last two posts revolved around truth; the truth we know about God and the truth we know about ourselves as seen in the Word of God. We cannot, however, have truth and not acknowledge the feelings and emotions that God created us with. As we saw last time, we often put on False Faces, so that we can cope and pretend the truth has penetrated our hearts, but in reality it hasn’t. I have been sharing my own experience with you, because through my own walk in the dark, I have learned that truth must be wrestled with before it can become a part of our inner being.

Image by Herbert Aust from Pixabay

God knows our delicate frame and also knows He gave us a mind that can think, reason and question. However, we must remember our minds were meant to be in communion with Him. The longer we let our minds dwell on what is false, hopeless and destructive, the less we will be able to recognize His truth. When we are walking in the darkness, there is no doubt, the Unseen Enemy will try to manipulate that shadowed path to his advantage. That is precisely why it is so important to stand on the God’s truth, but not just stand, we have to wrestle with it and allow Him to pierce our souls with it.

He has done that with me. Even as I type this, tears come to my eyes, because I realize, as an Almighty being, He owes me nothing. He has no reason to gift me His time or attention. He does so, because He chooses to. The incredible, lavish fact is, He chooses to do this, even when I am at my lowest, ranting about how unfair life is or how hard things are, or questioning impatiently when will this darkness end.

In order to get to this point of allowing God to pierce us, we must acknowledge our feelings, as ugly as they can be. Feelings are often tied to experiences, both good and bad. In my heart I have a room. Inside, there are shelves full of experiences, mostly those with other people. Most of these are bad experiences. When I feel bad, I unlock that room and I go inside, closing the door behind me. It isn’t a comfortable room, filled with fairy lights and comfy, overstuffed furniture. It’s more like an old attic, full of cobwebs, dark corners and lots of junk. I find a place on the hard floor and I start reviewing all that junk…all those times I yelled at my kids; all the angry words between my husband and I; all those feelings of never measuring up…of not being enough…of being invisible.

Image by József Kincse from Pixabay

Most of us have something like my attic room, where we revisit things that happened or didn’t happen. These are part of emotional make up of who we are and God is patient with us. He allows us those moments, but He doesn’t want us to stay there. Eventually, it would be nice if I could hand that key over to Him and walk away. I haven’t done that yet, but I am getting closer.

I am going to share an except from my journal, when I was revealing my true heart to God. I share these things, not to make you feel sorry for me or to make you think how hard I have had it, but I hope by being vulnerable with you, you will choose to be vulnerable with God.

“I guess what it comes down to, Lord, is I am sad that I am invisible. I know there are lots of people struggling with far worse things than feeling invisible. There are wives whose husbands are unfaithful; there are children whose caretakers are abusive; there are elderly men and women fading like an old photograph with no one to visit or care about their needs, or desires. There are people who have felt the pain of divorce, the death of a child or spouse...and here I am feeling sad...that I feel invisible.

But I would not be a healthy person if I did not acknowledge I am sad, and it hurts. It hurts to be forgotten; to have a face that is unmemorable; to have no voice except one that is deemed naggy, bitchy or emotional. I am only acknowledged when I mess up. I am only texted or called when someone wants something...””

— Amy's journal from 5/23/21

Image by Vojtěch Kučera from Pixabay

There are several things I want you to notice. I am acknowledging my feelings. I am unloading. I have remembered God’s truth about Himself and about me, and now I am letting Him know how I feel. My intellect knows what is true…I am not invisible. I have a family who does love me. I have friends…but the acknowledgement of feelings is so important in healing and in allowing God to bring His word into the deep places of our hearts. I go on to make this very point in my journal.

“Lord, I am venting. I know what Your word says. I am not invisible. Your word says You knew me before I was born. You know my thoughts from afar. There is no place I can go to get away from You. I am not invisible to You. (Psalm 139)”

— Amy's journal from 5/23/21

The other thing I want you to notice is that I recognize I am not alone in suffering. There are many who are suffering; many who have it far worse than I do, but that does not diminish my feelings or my need to lay those feelings at His feet. This is a process.

The next step follows: I recognize that some of my struggle is a result of sin, and the work of the Unseen Enemy.

“Lord, I ask Your forgiveness that I struggle with these feelings over and over. I should be mature enough to be so over it, but right now I am not. I am weak.

I ask for Your protection. I know my enemy would like to devour me, my family, but he cannot. Renew my mind, because I cannot. I choose to lean in to You; in to your comfort, mercy and grace; into Your sufferings. I embrace it all and I call on Your name...the name of Jesus, knowing He is the Great Warrior Prince and He will rescue me.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/21

Finally, I acknowledge the power and supremacy of the Almighty One.

“Thank you for You hem me in behind and before; that You are my rear guard; that You hold my hand and walk with me through every single valley. You are the Wonderful Counselor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace. You alone are the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.”

— Amy's Journal - 5/23/31

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Don’ be afraid to let God peer into the deepest places of your heart. Allowing Him access to those attic rooms will eventually bring about true renewal and cleansing. Wrestle with God’s truth. Tell Him how you really feel as you maneuver the darkness of your path. Let Him pierce you deep and He will bring you to new understanding and heights of His love.

Next time we will look at another piece of this refining process as we continue our journey in the darkness. I hope you are able to join me. Thank you for all your support and I pray God will become more real to you today than He ever has before.

When Darkness Comes - Part 6: Remembering Who We are in the Darkness

Many times when we are walking in the darkness, especially if we are doing it for an extended time, we tend to forget who we are meant to be. We fall back into the pattern of listening to the manipulator’s voice, rather than the Creator’s voice. We focus in on our insecurities, rather than our place on His solid foundation. We begin to obsess over all that is wrong, rather than being thankful for all that is right. I know. I have been there.

Image by Darkmoon_Art from Pixabay

Being a low energy person, it is easy for me to get tired, not just physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. There is a reason, Jesus said to come to Him when we are weary and need rest. He wasn’t just talking about our physical weariness. In fact, I think He was referring more to the weariness we feel when we are walking in the darkness. What did he say in those verses?

“28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.””

— Matthew 11:28-30 (NASB)

I want to come back to these verses when I explore how to survive the darkness, but for today, I want you to notice verse 29. We are to take His yoke on ourselves, but not just that. We are to do it so that we can learn from Jesus. Why? Because He is gentle, humble and in Him we will find rest for our souls. We can see here, it is not just our physical bodies that can find rest in Him, although I believe we can find that as well. In Him we find rest for our souls.

Once again, I want to draw on my own experiences to help you understand how important it is to remember God’s eternal truth when you are going through dark times. If we forget who He says we are, then we open the door for Satan to influence us with his lies and manipulative whisperings. Let’s look at a few of the false faces we wear when we are maneuvering the dark places in life.

False Face - The Mime

Image by Rudi Maes from Pixabay

You all know this one. They don’t talk about their struggles. You might even identify with this one. Unfortunately, the Christian church has made the mime one of our most numerous congregants. We don’t talk about it. When life gets tough, we sink down into our character and keep silent. Are you struggling with mental illness? Don’t talk about it. Are you frustrated in your marriage? Don’t talk about it. Are you shell shocked after a great loss? Don’t talk about it. We are too busy, too tired, too wrapped up in our own selves to take the time to listen, even if we wanted you to talk. Then, like the mime, we occasionally act out. We blow up at inappropriate times. We cry for no reason. We are alone in our silent performance as the rest of the world wonders why we are acting so odd.

False Face - The Stoic

Image by Szilárd Szabó from Pixabay

Definition of a stoic:

“a member of a school of philosophy founded by Zeno of Citium about 300 b.c. holding that the wise man should be free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief, and submissive to natural law”

— Webster's Online Dictionary

A person who maneuvers the dark times with this philosophy will often exhibit no emotion at all. Their attitude might resemble that of a rock. While even those who identify with stoicism do have emotions, their desire is to not give in to extravagant or showy emotion, choosing rather, to maintain a steady, even keeled composure.

False Face - The Dancer

Image by Vladimir Yuminov from Pixabay

When difficulty comes, this person will often be flitting from one thing to another, like a bee buzzing from flower to flower. An individual who exhibits this behavior, is often afraid to slow down or sit still, knowing that when they do the full weight of their struggles will overwhelm them. They believe if they keep moving, they will not have to really deal with their pain and eventually it will become less difficult.

False Face - Pollyanna

Image by Christopher Ross from Pixabay

If you are not familiar with the term Pollyanna, it is defined as a person that is excessively positive or optimistic. Originally, Pollyanna was a novel written in 1913 by Eleanor H. Porter. It told the story of eleven year old orphan girl Pollyanna Whittier, who is sent to live with her stern, cold, spinster Aunt Polly. Pollyanna maneuvers life playing a game she learned from her father, called the Glad Game. The premise being that there is always something to be glad about, or an opportunity to always see the brighter side of any dark cloud.

While I do believe there is benefit in looking for the good in life and in finding things to be thankful for, it is equally important to not deceive ourselves into believing there is nothing wrong, when in fact we are still truly hurting and struggling.

I am sure if we looked deeper we could find more False Faces that we adopt and use when we are not willing to face the darkness we are going through. However, it is of great importance that we do recognize our struggles and difficulties.

What does God’s Word say about us? Let’s look at another page from my journal.

Image by CharuTyagi from Pixabay

I recognize my standing as a sinner.

“23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

— Romans 3:23 (NASB)

I called on Your name and You washed me whiter than snow.

“13 for “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.””

— Romans 10:13 (NASB)

““Come now, and let us debate your case,”
Says the Lord,
“Though your sins are as scarlet,
They shall become as white as snow;
Though they are red like crimson,
They shall be like wool.”

— Isaiah 1:18 (NASB)

I know, according to Your word, my name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life.

“27 and nothing unclean, and no one who practices abomination and lying, shall ever come into it, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life.”

— Revelation 21:27 (NASB)

I am sealed by His blood.

“30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.”

— Ephesians 4:30 (NASB)

“22 who also sealed us and gave us the Spirit in our hearts as a pledge.”

— 2 Corinthians 1:22 (NASB)

I know according to Your word, I am not condemned.

“Therefore there is now no condemnation at all for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

— Romans 8:1 (NASB)

I know when I am weary and burdened, I can come to You and You will give me rest.

“28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

— Matthew 11:28 (NASB)

I know that Your yoke is easy and Your burden light. I can come to You and learn from You because you are gentle and humble.

“29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.””

— Matthew 11:29-30

I know You are always with me.

“5 No one will be able to oppose you all the days of your life. Just as I have been with Moses, I will be with you; I will not desert you nor abandon you.”

— Joshua 1:5 (NASB)

“5 Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever abandon you,””

— Hebrews 13:5 (NASB)

I know You have given me, Your precious and magnificent promises.

“4 Through these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world on account of lust.”

— 2 Peter 1:4 (NASB)

I know that You work all things together for good.

“28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

— Romans 8:28 (NASB)

I know You love me.

“See how great a love the Father has given us, that we would be called children of God; and in fact we are. For this reason the world does not know us: because it did not know Him.”

— 1 John 3:1 (NASB)

In order for us to be able to walk in the darkness we must remember, not only who God is, but who we are. I hope you will find encouragement in these verses.

Next time I will delve into what our response should be when we are walking in the storms.

Have a good week.

When Darkness Comes - Part 5: Finding God in the Darkness

This post will be rather long and contains aspects of my own experience in the darkness, but I share the details to help you understand the process.

We have been learning about the darkness. We have seen its beginning; created by an Almighty God for the benefit of His creation. Darkness was not meant to be bad. It was not meant to hide evil and torment the sinner, but our unseen enemy wanted to make the good bad. From the moment he became enamored with his beauty and too proud to place himself under the authority of the divine creator he has chosen to manipulate that which is good, right and true.

Image by Brigitte makes custom works from your photos, thanks a lot from Pixabay

If I came to you and said, “I am going through a very dark time,” wouldn’t you assume I was struggling? Wouldn’t you pray for the light to come back into my life, so I might once again be walking in the blessedness of my Savior’s love? Why do we assume, darkness is not the place we are meant to walk? How did we get to the point where struggle and disappointment in life is thought to be in our lives because of something we did or did not do? Why do we embrace the light, the sun, the beautiful blue skies and gentle breezy days, but not the night, the dark, the gray lumbering clouds over a storm tossed sea? Isn’t all of it allowed by our Heavenly Father? Doesn’t every circumstance that comes into our lives come first through the gentle and loving hands of our risen Lord?

“I form light and create darkness;
I make well-being and create calamity;
I am the Lord, who does all these things.”

— Isaiah 45:7 (ESV)

I will be the first to admit, I do not like this truth, but truth it is. The scripture is full of God’s truth. We are not allowed to take one truth, but not the other. We do have a free will and we can dislike some of the truths that are in the Bible, but that does not change the fact that they are the truths put forth by a holy and perfect God. Part of the key to being able to accept God’s truth is to really get to know Him. Many people read one verse and decide, God is fickle, or angry, or malevolent, but they are not seeing the entire picture. Just as we take time to get to know the person we fall in love with, falling in love with God takes time and a willingness to trust.

Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay

I want to take this part of my series on When Darkness Comes, slowly. These are the things we need to understand, and know with the very core of our being. This is where the Holy Spirit makes effective the work that Jesus did on the cross. This is the time when our head knowledge, must become heart knowledge.

My Experience

About a month ago, I was having a particularly difficult time. I have long struggled with my self image, often feeling worthless and useless. Over the last 34 years as a wife and mother I have struggled with the poor choices I made, my lack of love and compassion for both my spouse and our daughters. I grieved over the death of my father, the ensuing changes in my mother’s life and how that made life more complex. I witnessed divisions and strife in our church. I became aware of the trauma one of my family members suffered at the hands of a supposed “man of God.” I saw this same family member walk away from the church and begin a self-destructive path of rebellion against God and self-indulgent behavior. During this period I sought counsel from a licensed counselor and was told I was “mercy gone wild.” I learned about boundaries and letting go of many of the dreams I had for myself and my family. I was regularly building coffins, throwing my dreams inside, nailing them shut and burying them.

Image by Rob van der Meijden from Pixabay

Life slowly began to be less chaotic, but things were, and still are, hard. Recently, we learned our youngest daughter has a brain tumor. In addition to that she has been having a multiplicity of symptoms such as numbness, pain, tremors, dizziness and nausea. To this day, those things are still unresolved and the doctors do not believe her symptoms to be related to the tumor, which is very small and which, for now, they are keeping an eye on. This is just another straw on that proverbial camel’s back that makes the load heavier and heavier.

In my desire to draw closer to God, He lead me to see there is only one way to do this. I must take Him completely at His word. During that time a month ago, I had a three day period of a sadness so deep, I did not know how God was going to bring me out of it. I was hopeless. Hopeless for our country, hopeless for my daughter, hopeless for those who think they know truth, but are wearing blinders, hopeless for so many young people who have walked away from the church and from Him, and hopeless for myself. I never felt so completely lost in the darkness. I cried. No, I sobbed. I could not stop sobbing. Hour after hour I wondered how I could make so many tears.

Finally, when the tears began to dry up, I heard God’s voice telling me, “Get your journal and tell me what you know.”

This is the first step to finding Him in the deep darkness. Remind yourself of who God is.

Learn Who God is, and then Tell Him

Photo Rebecca Trumbull.

(excerpt take from my journal - Bible verses added after)

Lord, I know Your truth. Your word gives me that truth and it never changes.

“Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.”

— John 17:17 (NASB)

“The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of our God stands forever.”

— Isaiah 40:8 (NASB)

I know Your lovingkindness is everlasting.

“But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting for those who fear Him,
And His justice to the children’s children,”

— Psalm 103:17 (NASB)

I know Your mercies are new every morning.

“For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for a lifetime;
Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning.”

— Psalm 30:5 (NASB)

I know Your grace is matchless.

“For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.”

— John 1:16 (NASB)

You have freely given, so I might freely receive.

“Now we have not received the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God.”

— 1 Corinthians 2:12 (NASB)

You have bridged the gap between our sin laden world and your perfect heaven. I know You gave us Jesus. It was Your plan that He be the perfect sacrifice.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life.”

— John 3:16 (NASB)

I know all have sinned and fall short of Your glory.

“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

— Romans 3:23 (NASB)

I know the punishment for sin is death.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

— Romans 6:23 (NASB)

I know, whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

“for “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.””

— Romans 10:13 (NASB)

I know it is not by my own power and strength, but because of your mercy, that you saved me.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;
9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

— Ephesians 2:8-9 (NASB)

I know you have removed my sin as far as the east is from the west.

“As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our wrongdoings from us.”

— Psalm 103:12 (NASB)

Every truth, I believe about God is backed by scripture and these are just a few of them. You could do whole studies on the attributes and characteristics of our Almighty Redeemer. It is important when we are in the darkness to go back to what we know is true and to cling to it.

Next week we will look at the next phase of our journey as we walk in the dark. Thank you for following along.

When Darkness Comes - Part 4: Where is God in the Darkness?

I have been doing this series on darkness for the last few weeks. When I talk about darkness, I am referring to those times in our lives when it seems we are under thick cloud cover and cannot see or feel the presence of God in our troubling circumstances. I began the series with a look at the creation of darkness at the beginning. I relayed the idea that to God darkness and light are no different. I also covered the fact that God created darkness for our benefit. Last week I talked about how Satan, through his own pride and arrogance and the temptation of Adam and Eve, caused darkness to take on the characteristic of being bad; of being a covering for evil deeds and sinful people.

Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay

This week I want to look at where God is in the darkness. Once again, let’s start back at the beginning. You might wonder why I keep going back to Genesis. Genesis is the beginning of all that we know about God, and the history of humanity. I strongly believe if we do not understand the truth at the beginning of scripture, we will not fully understand the rest of it. I know there are Christians who do not believe in a literal six day creation. I do, and I also believe that the rest of our understanding of God, our standing before Him and our need for a Savior will not be complete if we do not trust in a literal creation. That is what I believe. How I study God’s word, and how I present it to you is based off of this foundational stepping stone.

God is Over the Darkness

“1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
2 And the earth was a formless and desolate emptiness, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.
3 Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light.
4 God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness.
5 God called the light “day,” and the darkness He called “night.” And there was evening and there was morning, one day.”

— Genesis 1:1-5 (NASB)

Image by Jakob Boman from Pixabay

As we saw in the first post from this series, God was hovering over the surface of the deep. The deep was a darkness; one that could only be plumbed by the Almighty Creator. Even now, with all of our technology, sonars, radars, remote controlled mini submarines, lights and so on, we still cannot plumb the deepest depths of the oceans.

“He also bowed the heavens down low, and came down With thick darkness under His feet.”

— 2 Samuel 22:10 (NASB)

Once again, we see that God is over the darkness. We might be tempted to think this darkness lies between God and us. We might even wonder if He can hear us through the thick darkness that keeps us from seeing Him, but let’s look further.

God is Within the Darkness

“18 And all the people were watching and hearing the thunder and the lightning flashes, and the sound of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking; and when the people saw it all, they trembled and stood at a distance.
19 Then they said to Moses, “Speak to us yourself and we will listen; but do not have God speak to us, or we will die!”
20 However, Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid; for God has come in order to test you, and in order that the fear of Him may remain with you, so that you will not sin.”
21 So the people stood at a distance, while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was.”

— Exodus 20:18-21 (NASB)

Image by jplenio from Pixabay

“He made darkness canopies around Him,
A mass of waters, thick clouds of the sky.”

— 2 Samuel 22:12 (NASB)

These passages clearly state God was in the darkness. In fact, the 2 Samuel verses says the darkness is like a canopy around Him. Since there is no difference to God between dark and light, there is no reason God would not be in the darkness, just as easily as He is in the light. Remember it was Satan’s pride and arrogance and Adam and Eve’s choice to disobey God that turned the darkness into something bad.

I believe there are several reasons, the Almighty wraps Himself in a cloak of darkness.

1 - The glory of God is too much for our eyes to look on. There is one passage in particular that I want to reference, but for the sake of space, I will not put it all here. Exodus 33 gives us much insight into God’s relationship with the people of Israel, but more specifically, with Moses. In verses 7-11 we see Moses regularly going into the tent of meeting, on behalf of the people. There he met with God.

“11 So the Lord used to speak to Moses face to face, just as a man speaks to his friend.”

— Exodus 33:11 (NASB)

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

Adam, Noah, Moses and a few others were among those that actually met with God. Adam walked with Him in the garden. Noah did not have the same relationship with God that Adam and Moses had, but he was righteous and heard God’s voice. Moses met with God. Now, we do not know what this looked like, but it does say they spoke face to face, just as a man speaks to a friend. Perhaps this was the face of the Man Jesus. Perhaps it was another form that God took, but it was not God in His glory. If we read further, we can see this distinction.

“18 Then Moses said, “Please, show me Your glory!”
19 And He said, “I Myself will make all My goodness pass before you, and will proclaim the name of the Lord before you; and I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show compassion to whom I will show compassion.”
20 He further said, “You cannot see My face, for mankind shall not see Me and live!”
21 Then the Lord said, “Behold, there is a place by Me, and you shall stand there on the rock;
22 and it will come about, while My glory is passing by, that I will put you in the cleft of the rock and cover you with My hand until I have passed by.
23 Then I will take My hand away and you shall see My back, but My face shall not be seen.””

— Exodus 33:18-23 (NASB)

God wrapped Himself in darkness, because He is too powerful and brilliant for us to look on.

2 - Darkness represents mystery

Just as the ocean depths hold mysteries we have not yet discovered, the darkness surrounding God represents the depths of mystery we have yet to discover about Him. We might think, why does God keep Himself a mystery? Why doesn’t He just reveal everything to us, so that we know Him fully. Look what happened to Adam and Eve when they decided to eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. With our limited ability and our sinful nature, are we really ready to plumb the depths of an almighty being?

“He made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He set forth in Him,”

— Ephesians 1:9 (NASB)

God reveals the mysteries of His layers, according to His good pleasure. I will discuss this further in a future post.

3 - Darkness makes us vulnerable

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

This is the scenario: it is night. The darkness is like a veil hanging over the pathway on which you have to walk. Your flashlight only illuminates the path under your feet. A part of you refuses to shine the flashlight out into the surrounding woods, because you are afraid of what you might see. You walk as quickly as you can from your camp site to the bathroom just on the other side of the woody patch. As you walk your pace quickens turning into a jog. You can feel the darkness closing in around you, but you can see the lights of the bathroom just ahead. You break into a full on run and feel sweet relief when the bathroom door closes behind you. Little did you know, the evil was waiting in one of the stalls.

Obviously, I just made this up, but how many of you have felt this feeling, whether it was in a camp ground after dark in the middle of the night, or walking through your own house searching for the sound you swear you heard when you were laying in bed? Darkness makes us feel vulnerable. When we cannot see what the darkness holds, our minds begin to create all manner of serial killers, monsters and ghosts that might be waiting in those dark shadows.

Why would God then, hide himself within the darkness? Why would He ask for this type of vulnerability? If we study His word we see many of the men and women He used were drawn from positions of vulnerability. Think of Noah (Genesis 6-7): vulnerable to the taunts and ridicule of the evil society around him; Moses (Exodus 2): vulnerable to the threats of Pharaoh; David (1 Samuel 17): vulnerable to a giant named Goliath; Esther (Esther 4-7): vulnerable to her husband the king; Daniel (Daniel 1): vulnerable to the rulers of a foreign land…and of course Jesus, who chose to become a vulnerable human baby.

The darkness reminds us that we are not God. We are weak and lost without Him. Even when we have the light of His word and His spirit within us, we still fall prey to our fear of the darkness and the vulnerability it causes.

God Controls the Darkness

There is one last thing I want to cover in this post. As believers you are probably familiar with the characteristics of God of omnipotence and sovereignty. Omnipotence means all powerful and sovereignty means supreme power. In other words, God is not only all powerful, but all things come through His hands before they come to us.

Image by Darkmoon_Art from Pixabay

“19 Then the angel of God, who had been going before the camp of Israel, moved and went behind them; and the pillar of cloud moved from before them and stood behind them.
20 So it came between the camp of Egypt and the camp of Israel; and there was the cloud along with the darkness, yet it gave light at night. Therefore the one did not approach the other all night.”

— Exodus 14:19-20 (NASB)

The people of Israel experienced the movement of God as He protected and led them with a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. The cloud also came along with the darkness. God was able to maneuver the darkness to be where He wanted it to be. He even showed the clouds and the darkness to be a protection for His people.

God is intimately acquainted with the darkness you are going through. He is above it. He is within it. He is in control of it. The problem with darkness is not God, it is us. How we respond to the darkness that comes into our lives will set a precedent for every dark and cloudy day that comes our way.

Next week I am going to begin looking at what our response should be when darkness comes. Be sure to stop by then.

Have a wonderful week.

When Darkness Comes - Part 3: Darkness Gone Bad

The last two weeks I have taken you through the first few verses of Genesis 1 and saw how God created the world, including darkness and light. We learned that darkness wasn’t evil. Darkness was the absence of light and to God there was no difference between darkness and light. When God separated the light from the darkness He did it with our benefit and the earth’s well being, in mind. He created the lights in the heavens including the sun, moon and stars, as ways to separate the seasons and to differentiate day from night. Day was made for work and night was made for rest.

When did darkness become bad? When did we start making the association that darkness wasn’t good and wasn’t for good people? When did darkness become associated with sin and evil? I want to show you a progression that took place. In order to understand this we need to go back to Genesis. If you regularly follow my Faith posts, you know I went over the passage in Genesis 3 when I did the series on Our Unseen Enemy. We need to look at this again. We can never look at God’s word too often.

“1 Now the serpent was more cunning than any animal of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God really said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?”
2 The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat;
3 but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’”
4 The serpent said to the woman, “You certainly will not die!
5 For God knows that on the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will become like God, knowing good and evil.”
6 When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took some of its fruit and ate; and she also gave some to her husband with her, and he ate.
7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves waist coverings.”

— Genesis 3:1-7 (NASB)

In the series on Satan, we learned that he was enamored with his own beauty. He became prideful and wanted to usurp the throne of God in heaven and take over. The first step in the darkness becoming bad was the choice of a created being to look within, rather than looking to God.

Step 1 - Self-Reliance

Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

It all started with Satan’s choice to look at his own beauty and his obsession with it. He forgot about who God was and that God had created him, not the other way around. The very same thing happened when Satan went to Eve. He got her to focus, not on all the beauty she had in the garden; not on the husband and companion God provided for her; and certainly not on the God who had made her. Satan tempted Eve to look within herself and see just what she was lacking.

Step 2 - Misery Loves Company

Image by karosieben from Pixabay

The next step in the progression towards darkness becoming bad was Satan’s desire to take others down with him. What fun would it be to rebel all by his onesie? He gladly found others among the angels willing to follow him. In the same way, Eve was not content to be the only one to bite into the forbidden fruit. She had to tempt her husband to make the same mistake. Once this choice was made, there was no going back, for either Satan or Adam and Eve.

Step 3 - Anger and Shame

Image by Thomas Wolter from Pixabay

Our study reveals two prominent emotions: anger and shame. Satan’s response to not getting his way in heaven was anger and hatred. Satan wasn’t just angry, he became violent.

“15 You were blameless in your ways
from the day you were created,
till unrighteousness was found in you.
16 In the abundance of your trade
you were filled with violence in your midst, and you sinned;
so I cast you as a profane thing from the mountain of God,
and I destroyed you, O guardian cherub,
from the midst of the stones of fire.
17 Your heart was proud because of your beauty;
you corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor.
I cast you to the ground;””

— Ezekiel 28:15-17 (ESV)

Adam and Eve, on the other hand, felt shame. Look again at Genesis 3:7:

Image by Сергей Корчанов from Pixabay

“7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves waist coverings.”

— Genesis 3:7 (NASB)

This was the final step in the progression of darkness becoming associated with all that is bad. The eyes of Adam and Eve were open. Before this happened we can assume, to them, there was no difference between darkness and light, other than that it represented a time change. Darkness wasn’t bad, scary or evil, but the sin of rebelling against God through disobedience suddenly made them want to hide. Darkness became a covering for sin and sinful actions.

In addition to this, even though their eyes were opened, Adam and Eve’s minds became dark. They no longer had the light of God, or the fellowship of His presence. They were banished, just as Satan was banished from heaven.

“22 Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might reach out with his hand, and take fruit also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”—
23 therefore the Lord God sent him out of the Garden of Eden, to cultivate the ground from which he was taken.
24 So He drove the man out; and at the east of the Garden of Eden He stationed the cherubim and the flaming sword which turned every direction to guard the way to the tree of life.”

— Genesis 3:22-24 (NASB)

I want to leave you with this idea; darkness is still God’s. Satan does not own it. He did not create it. Yes, he dwells in it and makes the world believe it is his domain, but God is still hovering over the darkness and He can see everything, we can’t.

Next week we will look at where God is in the darkness. Thanks for following along. Have a great day!

When Darkness Comes - Part 2: The Dark

Last week I started a series on When Darkness Comes. I don’t know that I really need to define what I mean by that, but just in case, I will. When I talk about darkness, I am talking about those times in life when things are very difficult. I am not talking about simple inconveniences, although get enough of them all at once, and I certainly start wondering who is trying to beat me up. What I am referring to when I say darkness are those times when you feel alone, discouraged and overwhelmed. However, it is not just feelings, that make something dark. It is a blend of what is going on in life, either your own or in the lives of those you love, a weight that feels especially burdensome, and how much of it you are carrying alone.

Image by cocoparisienne from Pixabay

“Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘Stretch out your hand toward the sky so that darkness spreads over Egypt—darkness that can be felt.’”

— Exodus 10:21 (NIV)

There are times darkness can be felt. This type of darkness is thick, dank, visceral, like a fog that rolls in over our souls from which we feel we will never be free. Grief is one of these dark times. When my father passed away 15 years ago, I felt as though a fog had rolled into my life and it seemed that it would always be there. Obviously, over time, the fog lifted and the darkness finally pulled away, but it is inevitable that these dark times will come. Let’s take a look at what God’s word says about darkness.

We already know that darkness was at the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth.

“ 1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
2 And the earth was a formless and desolate emptiness, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.”

— Genesis 1:1 (NASB)

Image by Ronile from Pixabay

I really like how this is phrased in the New American Standard Bible, “…and the earth was a formless and desolate emptiness.” I know when I am going through an especially dark struggle, I feel as though I am like that formless and desolate emptiness. I think many people can relate to this feeling. If we started to look at statistics on how many people are on psych medications, I would say that this feeling of emptiness is becoming more and more prominent.

As we look at darkness there are several things we must understand.

1 - To God Darkness and Light are no Different.

Image by jplenio from Pixabay

We looked at this verse last week, but let’s look at it again.

“Even darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You.”

— Psalm 139:12 (NASB)

For our limited minds it is hard to think that light and darkness could possibly be the same thing, but to an Almighty Creator, they are. Obviously, God can see just as well in the darkness as He can in the light. The differentiation of light and darkness was for our benefit. Knowing that God doesn’t make this differentiation can help us to understand how we can be walking through darkness or at least things that appear dark to you and I, and still have the solid assurance that God is with us.

Many times when we are encountering difficulty we tend to think God has left us, or at the least, that He is not listening to us. This is where we need to go back to the truth of God’s word. Hasn’t His word told us He is with us, always?

“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or in dread of them, for the Lord your God is the One who is going with you. He will not desert you or abandon you.”

— Deuteronomy 31:6 (NASB)

2 - Darkness was for our benefit.

Image by Enrique Meseguer from Pixabay

God knew exactly what His creation would need, from the plants that grew, to the creatures that walked, flew and swam, to the people He made, God knew that darkness would be a time to refresh, rest and relax from the busyness of work. Just like so many things that God made that were good, it is our enemy that has taken them and twisted them for his benefit alone.

“14 Then God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night, and they shall serve as signs and for seasons, and for days and years;
15 and they shall serve as lights in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth”; and it was so.
16 God made the two great lights, the greater light to govern the day, and the lesser light to govern the night; He made the stars also.
17 God placed them in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth,
18 and to govern the day and the night, and to separate the light from the darkness; and God saw that it was good. 19 And there was evening and there was morning, a fourth day.”

— Genesis 1:14-19 (NASB)

When we look at this passage from Genesis 1, we see that God made the differentiation between day and night, and the lights that were to govern these time frames. There was even a reason given as to why He made the sun, moon, stars and planets; it was so we could use them as signs for days, seasons and years. If you know anything about how the earth is positioned on its axis, how far it is away from the sun and the way it rotates, and revolves around the sun, you understand the complexity of this Creator and that even in the darkness, He provided the light of the moon and stars. This was all done for our good!

3 - Darkness is not bad.

Image by Tim Hill from Pixabay

It is easy to be afraid of the dark. Darkness can be a scary thing, especially if you have watched a creepy movie, or read a horror story. When I was growing up I loved to watch scary movies. I am also a fan of books like Dracula by Bram Stoker, The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux, and Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. However, in this world of incredible evil, spending too much time immersing ourselves in scary things can easily cause us to forget that darkness was created for our good.

Darkness is the absence of light, however, as we saw in the first chapter of Genesis, darkness wasn’t meant to be something evil, oppressive or gloomy. Darkness was created by a loving God who cared for His creation. Next week, we will take a closer look at how our enemy, Satan, turned what was meant for our wellbeing into a tool for our destruction.

I hope you will continue to follow along. If you ever have any questions or concerns about things you see on my blog, feel free to shoot me a message via Facebook, Instagram, or if you are a subscriber, you may email me directly. Thanks for all your support.

When Darkness Comes - Part 1: The Light

I think most of us would prefer to travel through life in the light. In this case, light is a metaphor for good things. Most of us would prefer to have an easy road rather than a rough one. Most of us would prefer to not get car jacked by bad things like illness, job loss, broken relationships or the death of a loved one. Those of us who are church goers, would prefer to go to worship, singing and rejoicing in the goodness of the Lord who has led us in the way of prosperity, and perpetual good times, but that is most likely not your reality, nor is it mine.

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Over the last year we have heard about many who have suffered due to the Covid virus. People have lost time at work, some have lost jobs, others have developed debilitating “long haul” symptoms from the virus, still others have lost loved ones, both young and old. But, before Covid, there were plenty of other things that caused destruction in our world. There have been mass shootings, tsunamis and earthquakes. We are still dealing with diseases like cancer, heart disease and diabetes. In addition things like divorce, rape, child abuse and drug addictions still rise up and destroy individuals and families.

Why? In a world where we have knowledge, medicine, money and plenty of other resources, why do we still struggle with the dark things? Darkness and suffering are part of the fallen world we live in. In the first paragraph I talked about how we all would like to live in the light, but so much of our life is spent in the darkness of shadow. The reasons for this have to do with not only our sin, but His suffering. To understand this idea better, I want to spend this post talking about the light.

“1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.”

— Genesis 1:1-5 (NASB)

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When we look at these verses we see there is a progression. First, God made the heavens and the earth. It goes on to say, “the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep…” Darkness was there at the beginning. Did God create darkness? When we talk about darkness I think we need to look at it from the perspective of what it is not. Darkness is the absence of light.

I want you to notice another detail, “…and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.” God was there, in, around, above and below the darkness. God, most certainly could have created a world without being personally involved in it, but He was there. He was, just as the darkness was over the surface of the deep, hovering over that same deep.

Beloved, when you are in darkness, make no mistake, He is there with you. He is personally involved in the depths you are suffering and He will “…never leave you, nor forsake you.” (Joshua 1:5 NASB)

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“Let there be light.”

Our God did not end creation there, as much as proponents of the Big Bang Theory would like us to believe. God didn’t just bang the world into existence then walk away and let it “evolve”. He orchestrated its creation, like a conductor leading a complex symphony. You have heard the phrase, the devil is in the details, but not the details of this creation.

It is hard to represent light without showing the darkness around it, or the way the light plays against an object, or reflects off water. Of course, “God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all.” (1 John 1:5 NASB) It is telling to me that God created light first. The interesting thing here is the light was not from the sun, because the sun had not yet been created. In fact, the sun, moon and stars were not created until the fourth day.

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We could question why He created light, but not the things we know give us light at the same time. We might also question, what was this light He created? What was it made out of? What did it look like? Did it have heat, like the sun? I believe everything God does has a purpose. I personally believe that this light was purely His light. The reason this makes sense to me is that it sets up the foundation of our Christian faith, that He is the light and it is only the light of His truth that gives us the ability to see clearly and rightly spiritual things. Just as He knew we, His creation, would need light to live, He also knew, we as bearers of His image would need the light of His revelation to understand our need for Him.

“God saw that the light was good.”

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We could spend a while just talking about the physical benefits of light. Light helps plants to grown, which in turn creates our oxygen. Light lifts our moods in the dreary winter. Light is essential for good vision; try doing a puzzle in the dark. The very first thing God made, He examined and saw that it was good. Our world would die a slow, agonizing death if we gradually lost the light of the sun.

The fact that God determined the light to be good, also sets a precedent. Aren’t all the things that God makes good? Light is symbolic of our ability to understand Spiritual things. The revelation of God is considered light to our minds and hearts, giving us the ability to discern His truth, His will and His ways.

“He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe.”

— John 1:7 (NASB)

“Believe in the light while you have the light, so that you may become children of light.””

— John 12:36 (NASB)

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.”

— Psalm 119:105 (NASB)

“…and He separated the light from the darkness. God called the light ‘day’ and the darkness He called ‘night’”

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It was for our benefit God separated the light from the darkness. My imagination wonders what was it like before He made that separation? Were there darkness particles and light particles all mixed up together? Instead of black darkness was it more a gray fog? I am thrilled that one day, I might actually know what it was like at the beginning of our time.

The reality is that darkness and light are all the same to God.

“Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You.”

— Psalm 139:12 (NASB)

I am intrigued by this idea, and it makes perfect sense when we think about it. God sees all and knows all, so why would darkness be a hindrance to Him. We might not like the dark and many of us try to sleep when it is dark, but to God, our darkness is light. As the Psalmist said, “…the night is as bright as the day.”

I want you to hang on to that thought. If you are going through something dark right now, let me reassure you, you are not alone. Many of us are struggling, facing day after day of difficulty, but God is with us. That darkness is not so dark that He can not see us.

Next time we will take a closer look at the darkness and see what God’s word says about what to do when the darkness comes.

Our Need for Rest - Part 1

As I was pondering what to talk about this week on my Faith page, it occurred to me, perhaps we need to talk about rest. I have heard many people throwing around the term Covid fatigue and have had conversations with multiple friends who say how tired they feel. I know both my husband and I are tired. We all are longing for those days when we don’t have to wear masks and we can go about life as usual, but what if that day never comes? How can we find rest during the “new normal?” I am even tired of hearing that phrase. Pooh on the new normal. I would, very much, like to go back to the normal, normal! Ha, ha.

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The word rest is mentioned over five hundred times in the Bible. The word, as we know it, originated before the 12th century with the Old to Middle English word, rasta - rest, and reste - literally stoppage, short for areste, as well as Anglo-French - rester - to remain. God, from the beginning, designated a cessation from activity on the 7th day of creation, or what He termed the Sabbath.

“By the seventh day God completed His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done.”

— Genesis 2:2 (NASB)

“but the seventh day is a Sabbath of the Lord your God; on it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male slave or your female slave, or your cattle, or your resident who stays with you.”

— Exodus 20:10 (NASB)

I am often amazed that so many people fight against rest. This is very different from the inability to sleep. Insomnia is a widespread problem and is leaving hundreds of thousands of people sleep deprived. Stress, diet, lack of exercise and excessive screen time is contributing to the zombification of our world, but this is not the kind of rest that I am talking about today. The rest I want to look at has to do with an inner peace and calm.

I want to take a look at a few things that cause us to miss out on the internal rest that God has for us, and then I want to provide a few ideas for how to obtain His rest.

Anxiety

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Anxiety is an ever increasing problem in our world. More and more people are feeling the pull of worry, much like the pull of gravity that keeps us rooted to the earth. Anxiety has become a companion that we try to ignore, but are all too aware of. I am picturing a pirate with his trusty parrot constantly sitting atop his shoulder, muttering about crackers and dead men telling no tales. Our anxiety is like that companion. It is unwanted, yet we seem to be unable to shoo it away, settling instead for the weight of it on our shoulders, but also trying to completely ignore it.

Lack of Hope

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Hope is a word we sprinkle in our everyday conversations without really thinking about what we are saying. “I hope I get a raise.” “I hope it snows today.” “ I hope I can take a vacation this summer.” “I hope I get to go to the concert.” We are a people who desire hope, yet we don’t know how to truly obtain it. It is not wrong to want a raise, enjoy a weather change or take a vacation, but deeper hopes become longings and all to often our longings go unmet. When we are longing for something we often become weary with the desire.

Misplaced Trust

Most of us have been guilty of putting our trust in someone or something and having it or them disappoint. Over the last year, I have heard people putting their trust in science, the CDC, WHO and their elected officials. Millions of us place our trust in our masks, the vaccine and social distancing, thinking that is the answer to all of our problems. The Right places its trust in conservatism and the will of the people and the Left places its trust in liberality and their elected officials. As we have seen, all of the things in which we place our trust, can let us down.

So what is the answer? How do we obtain much needed rest, when the world around us is still a chaotic frenzy of half truths, and unknown ramifications? How do we help ourselves to find rest, when we are unable to stop the influx of negative information? Let’s take a look at what Jesus says about rest.

“28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.””

— Matthew 11:28-30 (NASB)

We know in the Old Testament, the Sabbath was a day of literal rest. No one was supposed to do any sort of work on that day. While Jesus did away with the need for the law, I still believe God wants us to rest from labor. In addition to that I would add that God would want us to rest from the things that are causing us a lack of rest.

In the above verse we see that Jesus calls us to action. Even though we are weary and burdened, He tells us to do three things: come, take and learn. The result is palpable: we will find rest for our souls. Why do we find rest when we come to Him? Let’s take a closer look.

Action 1 - Come

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Webster’s Online Dictionary has a slew of meanings for the word come. It means to move towards something or someone; to arrive at a particular place or end result; to take on the aspect. Our coming to Jesus makes us more like Him. How will we ever be transformed if we are not spending time with our Savior? How will ever find rest, when we are not still at His feet? How will be ever overcome anxiety, or misplaced trust if we do not go to the source of truth and true trustworthiness?

Action 2 - Take

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What is it that we are to take from Jesus? He instructs us to take His yoke upon us. The meaning of the word yoke as Jesus uses it in this verse is the “wooden bar or frame by which two draft animals are joined at the heads or necks for working together.” (Webster’s Online Dictionary) Why, of all things, would Jesus want us to take on this type of yolk. The point of a yolk is equal distribution of weight. In a farming situation, the yolk joined two powerful animals, like oxen together, to plow a field or pull a heavy load. Oxen must be trained to wear the yoke. Often the farmer will use an older more experienced ox with a younger less experienced ox to train them.

It might seem counterintuitive to take on a yoke, when we are in need of rest, but Jesus knows best how we should live this life and obtain rest. The goal is to take on His yoke so we are working through life together; so we are not bearing the difficulties of life alone. This working together, enables us to find rest in Him.

Action 3 - Learn

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When we take on Jesus’ yoke he also wants us to learn from Him. Why does Jesus tell us to learn from Him? He says it is because He is gentle and humble in heart. We will not learn what is most important if our teachers are prideful, arrogant or filled with selfishness and hatred. Think about the teachers you had during your years of education. Which ones were the ones you learned the most from? I definitely remember several Sunday School, elementary, middle and high school teachers who had the greatest influence on me. Every single one was a person of character, humility and gentleness.

We can learn from Jesus, because of His humble and gentle heart. It is these characteristics that incline us to rest. Humility and gentleness enable us to find rest, because we are not trying to do everything in our own strength. Our reliance is on Christ.

Next week I’ll take a look at few practical ideas for finding rest. Until then, go to Jesus, take on His yoke and learn from Him.

The Buds of Hope

There are things weighing on me this morning. Life is heavy at times and I know I am not alone in saying, i wonder when and if it will get better. This is not the first time I have addressed the idea of hope on this blog. You can see my original post titled, Elusive Hope, here.

For some reason the idea of hope has been coming to the forefront more and more. Maybe it is the pandemic and how everyone is hoping for the day it will be over, and we will be able to return to a more normal life. It could also be the state of our world, and our country. There is so much unrest, hatred, and uncertainty. You might be personally struggling with a health issue, a job loss, the death of a loved one, a divorce, mental illness or abuse. When we really start thinking about the bad stuff we can easily get overwhelmed. Is it any wonder that so many people are on anti-anxiety meds and pain killers. How do we have hope when our desires have been crushed beneath the waves of disappointment? How do we keep the light of hope alive when the darkness is so dark?

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Revisit Sunday, and look for the buds!

When I say revisit Sunday, I am referring to this past Sunday when we celebrated Easter. As I posted last week, the death of Christ had to happen as payment for our sins, but without the resurrection, the payment would have been meaningless. The resurrection is the event that gives us hope. Let’s look at a few scriptures.

“1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,
2 through whom we also have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we celebrate in hope of the glory of God.
3 And not only this, but we also celebrate in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;
4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;
5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

— Romans 5:1-5 (NASB)

This passage talks about the peace we have with God, through Jesus Christ. It also talks about hope. Note verse 2 says, “…and we celebrate in hope of the glory of God.” In this verse it says that our hope is in the future glory of God. What good does that do us now? Keep reading. Verse 3 says, “And not only this, but we also celebrate in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;” As it blends into verse 4 it continues, “and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;”. The fact that one thing leads to another is obvious in how the sentence is put together. Tribulations and troubles, bring about perseverance and perseverance brings about character, and character, brings about hope. We can conclude from those verses that hope does not happen on it’s own. It comes about when we place our faith in Jesus Christ. From there we struggle, persevere and become more godly. This is where true hope happens.

However, the passage goes on. Verse 5 confirms, “and this hope does not disappoint.” Why doesn’t it disappoint? This hope is not grounded in those things we wish for, which change just as frequently as the weather in the midwest. This hope is grounded in the love of God which is poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit.

Let’s go back to buds. As my heart was feeling somewhat heavy this morning, I noticed as I was driving back from dropping my grandson off at school, the trees were in full bud. There are not actual leaves or flowers on the trees yet, but there are definitely visible buds. It suddenly struck me, that just as the trees reliably bud again each spring, God’s love is always blooming in my heart. I may not feel that it is there. I may not feel like there is hope, but hope is not a feeling. Hope is a fact. Hope in God is just as reliably true as my hope in spring returning again; in fact, more so.

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Hope is a bud. It is a kernel of life, just waiting to open and spread its beautiful fragrance for all to smell. Hope is just as present in the hospice room as it is in the birthing room. Hope is not elusive, it is certain. This hope is in the Lord.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,”

— I Peter 1:3 (NASB)